#cause thats the longest slow burn to history ever probably lmao

[ianthoni]

Ok, Idk if it's just me but I can't stop thinking about the part in Anthony's letter where he asks if Ian even knows the real Ian... like, I think I'm crazy and tinhatty for seeing Ian as visibly repressed, but Anthony literally sees the exact same thing.

My very detailed thoughts are under the gifs and videos. Buckle up that's a long ass post. I put some of the parts i find interesting in the video.

First of I wanna start with comments like "oh i think Ian is emotionless he doesn't show emotions" he literally did. Watch the video. Don't just listen to his words look at his eyes.

No no no you're not alone. The more i watch him the more I'm like damn this man has a lot to unpack. Like you can see he has so many emotions but also is hiding them. At first people were like Ian is so chill, Ian doesn't care and I'm like HE CARES?? You can clearly see he cares, you can see he's affected by everything happening around, happening TO him. He's just so closed up so withdrawn even he himself doesn't know how to react to things. Just like he said he's the most chill-unchill person. He probably has a hurricane in his mind but he doesn't show it outside. I think it's because he was alone for a long time. He was definitely more open when he's with Anthony but after watching the video I think their friendship stopped being close when Anthony started dating his girlfriend at the time. Ofc there was probably some stuff between them they're friends since 6th grade, but the strings broke and they stopped being best friends probably at that time. And probably after this Ian started to press his feelings. Cause I think he tried to talk to Anthony about that person but it backfired so he stopped it all together. At the time he probably didn't have enough close friends and after Anthony left he was just alone in his thoughts. Ofc he had partners he had co workers, friends, employees but at that point he was already in a state where "it's better if i just shut up about my own feelings/emotions/thoughts cause they're wrong they're the reason my best friend leave me" and everything else, the company, the break-ups whatever it was all his problems, he's the boss, he had to take care of everything and he had to protect his friends/company and everything. He should be the one doing it without bothering others. And that's why he's now "chill" he put on an unbothered person mask to stay strong in the game. He built strong walls around his emotions. He hide them so much that he lost his ability to show his emotions in the meantime. He's an amazing listener, problem solver, perfect boss and friend and best friend probably but he's not good to himself. His feelings are pressed, he has a lot to unpack probably. Idk if Anthony and him talk about everything (i don't think tho i don't think ian could just trauma dump) and i feel like he has to. Not just talking about shit happened before like they say in the video, no he has to talk about his feelings, how he feels about what happened, how he feels now, is he hurt, is he heartbroken. Without a filter. Like he had to leave the labels behind and idk have an open conversation with someone(probably a therapist tbh) and realize that showing emotions is not weak or wrong. And he's not alone. Maybe he felt that way before but he has friends, he has a whole family actually. I really don't believe he's an emotionless person he's just so so introverted in his emotions. And he's lost in his insecurities.

First of all you can see he's emotionally unstable already when he said let's keep going because he's either afraid he's gonna show emotions(god forbid he shed a tear) or so emotional to talk about the subject.

"I don't think I would even recognize if I was being put through emotional turmoil. This is just so sad.

"That doesn't mean you weren't being put through it, that just might mean that you're shutting things off" Anthony explained so well in this sentence.

And this part i definitely agree with Anthony. "How do you know if I'm keeping it to myself?" Cause eyes never lie chico! We can see the sadness showing from them. The fake smile thing is like. Ok yeah I don't think he's fake smiling in every smile but i think when he's actually hurt he just smiles at the person hurting him. Even in this video there are so many moments that you can see he's upset he just smiles and moves on. Not wanting to make things worse or trying to keep everything going. Don't wanna mess up again. But you can't live a life like that. You can't just accept everything anyone is giving and not have a breaking point. Idk him so idk if he had that point already or he'd have that in the future but i know if he keeps ignoring everything and trying to push them aside it's burst. (It's not about Anthony leaving this is not about anyone else I'm talking about Ian's feelings)

And the last part yeah I think we know the real Ian. Cause even if he pushes his feelings aside he's who he is. Him hiding his hurt moments is not gonna affect anyone but himself.

Also wanna add I was so so upset when he said he thought Smosh was his and Ian was just a sidekick to him and even then Ian just smiled and kept going. It's so obvious he knows Anthony felt that way at the time. He's not shocked about this. He probably had his moments about that. I'm so glad Anthony realized that Smosh is not this and that Smosh is them together. And praise him every chance he has for that.

Lastly. I was really sad when Ian said "I forgive you" and Anthony laughed with "for what?" I think this was the only moment we actually see Ian trying to show his emotions and Anthony's joke makes it go away immediately and Ian smiled and hid his emotions again with "just kidding". Again this is all me just putting my thoughts out there but I think Ian deserved an apology or at least a thank you(which Anthony probably did them in private i think) cause he fought to keep Smosh together for years alone. So there was something Anthony could ask forgiveness for. Yes it was the best decision for Anthony and his mental health and it definitely helped him. And Ian could have left with him but didn't. But if he didn't try to stay and fight there wouldn't be a Smosh to turn back to. Wow that was dark.

Anyways this is me overthinking for something I shouldn't at fuckin 2am and I swear I have a life outside this. I just love analysing shit and talking about it ok?