#cawk
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Vegetta’s banana so good it changed foolish’s life forever
that's crazy
#i get it i get it#wenis#penirt#cawk#ok#qsmp#qsmp foolish#foolish gamers#qsmp thoughts#qsmp vegetta#fooligetta#shitpost
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it’s national underwear day on twitter ig
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Getting tested hope i dont fail
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COD really said give that man a COCK
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would you still love me if i was a worm? (and other thought-provoking questions) [Sylus/Reader ★ 2100 words ★ Masterlist ★ Series Index ★ AO3] In which Sylus answers many meaningful drunken questions at 2 AM. A/N: Why have I been clowning on this man 🗿 lowkey based on this post I made before his release lol
It was rather common for Sylus to be up at 2 AM, since in his particular line of work, businesses were best done in the dead of night when most people would be asleep. It didn’t help that the N109 Zone was shrouded in eternal darkness at all times, so the entire concept of time felt rather meaningless to most citizens.
What truly was uncommon for Sylus was receiving a call from you at this time in the middle of the night when you should be slumbering away like most normal citizens. He stared at his phone screen where “Kitten” was so affectionately featured prominently onscreen along with his favorite photo of you. He swiped his thumb across the screen to answer the curious call. Nothing, however, could have prepared the leader of Onychinus with your desperate plea: “Crow Man, come pick me up, pleasssseeee!”
Sylus raised a brow as he held his cellphone tighter in his hand. “Crow Man?”
“Is this not Ca-Caw Man?”
“…are you drunk, sweetie?”
“Mr. Big Ca-Cawk, please pick me upppp!”
Sylus set his phone down on his desk and leaned back in his seat, already massaging his temple in slow circles. He had lavished you with such sweet pet names, and in your darling little head, you had just affectionately bestowed upon him the nickname…Big Ca-Cawk.
Sylus inhaled sharply.
He knew he let you get away with a lot of mischievous things, but perhaps this might be the one time he needed to put his foot down. He held his phone next to his ear again, hearing you sniffled:
“Caw-Caw, do you not like me anymore?”
Damn. You were good.
Sylus huffed softly, finding your drunken speech pattern rather endearing now. With a soft smile on his face, he spoke low, “Far from the truth, sweetie. Now, give me your address.”
You relayed to him the address of a late-night restaurant you were at in Linkon City.
“Stay safe,” Sylus responded, “I’ll be there in twenty.”
The call ended and Sylus heaved another heavy sigh before he stood up. He walked pass where Mephisto was roosting on his perch, and Sylus mumbled thoughtfully to the mechanical crow, “Maybe I should just assign you to monitor her 24/7 from now on.”
Mephisto tilted his head to the side, clearly confused by his owner’s odd words. He cooed quietly in response, watching as Sylus left.
With no speed limit in the N109 Zone, Sylus breezed through the city on his motorcycle in a matter of less than fifteen minutes. Through Linkon City, the street was mostly vacant, and he managed to avoid many of the cop hiding spots. It took him roughly another ten minutes to finally pulled up to the restaurant you said you were at.
As he parked his motorcycle, he took his helmet off, eyes instantly narrowing in anger when he noticed you were backed into a wall by a couple of sober sleazebags. Sylus started to walk up to you, his temper flaring when he heard your feeble protests:
“No…I don’t like this. Go away...”
“Aww, come on, sweetcheeks, you look like you could use a rest at a motel with us.”
“Yeah, it’d be in bad conscious of us if we leave a cute girl like you hanging around on the street like this—”
Sylus had heard enough. His hand tightened into a fist, and thick, dark tendrils wrapped around the two men’s necks, easily lifting them up and sending them hurtling down the block. When they gotten up, ready to assault their attacker, they were instantly frozen with fear from just a simple sharp glare from Sylus. He merely snapped his fingers and new tendrils shot straight down the block at the two men, the sight enough to send them running away in terror.
How fortunate for them. Sylus had other important things on his mind this particular night, or otherwise, he would have felt no qualms with ridding the world of two lowlifes.
When Sylus turned to look at you, his gaze softened considerably, a look of exasperation settled on his handsome features. He approached you slowly, his voice soft and gentle, “Sweetheart…”
His eyes widened in shock when you flung yourself against him, arms wrapped around his waist tightly. You sniffled softly, “Sy-Sy…”
Sylus regained his composure and he smiled down at your head, his hand rubbing your back soothingly. “So I am Sy-Sy now?”
He waited for you to calm down, speaking gentle, comforting words to ease your fears. When he noticed you appeared calmer, he led you to where he had parked. After handing you a helmet, he made sure your arms were wrapped tightly around his waist again before he took off, heading to your apartment.
Once he had arrived to your apartment building, he led you upstairs to your floor. He watched in amusement as you attempted to open the door, unable to get your thumb aligned correctly with the biometrics.
“Here,” he murmured, grabbing your wrist and guiding your thumb to match up with the small screen.
There was a click.
The door opened.
You stared in absolute awe. “Sy-Sy is so amazing…”
Sylus chuckled as he led you inside. “Sweetie, how much did you drink tonight?”
You shrugged. “It was Tara’s birthday…and it was our 5000th wanderer kill…and it was also pay day…and—”
Sylus immediately cut you off, laughing. “I get it,” he said, leading you to your bathroom to help you wash up, “You had a lot to celebrate today.”
He watched you smiled happily as you splashed some cooling water on your face. He helped you removed your jewelry before leading you to your bedroom. Sylus crossed his arms over his chest as he eyed you up and down in your black bodycon dress.
“Now, while I do appreciate seeing you in this dress,” he said with a teasing lecherous smirk, “I don’t think it’ll be comfortable to wear to bed, right?”
You giggled. “Nope!”
Sylus’ eyes widened, completely unprepared when you decided to shamelessly take the dress off yourself and flung it at a chair in your room. You smiled sweetly at him as you stood there in just your bra and panties.
Sylus covered his face, groaning softly. “This girl…” He took another look at you happily smiling away at him with not a single sober thought in your head. He turned away, mumbling, “Stay put.”
He sighed and walked into your closet, muttering to himself as he searched for some sleepwear for you, “You suck at drinking, sweetheart, and yet you let yourself get this drunk…”
After spending about five minutes of searching for some decent sleepwear, Sylus came back out to find you on the bed laying on your side, half-asleep. Sylus sat down on the edge of the bed next to you. He gently shook your shoulder. “Come on, sweetie, as cute as you look like that, you need to get dressed.”
You mumbled sleepily, and Sylus took it upon himself to help you get dressed in an oversized shirt and some shorts. This task felt rather foreign to him, since he was honestly more used to doing the complete opposite. As if reading his mind, you fell against him giggling again once you were fully dressed. “Are you going to take my bra off, too, Sy-Sy?”
He groaned again, his brain about to explode. “Sweetie, you are testing me.”
You giggled again and batted your eyelashes at him.
He smirked, slipping his hands under your shirt from behind and expertly unhooked your bra, tossing it to the side with your earlier abandoned dress. “It’s a good thing I am such a gentleman who doesn’t like taking advantage of intoxicated women.”
“Sy-Sy is the sweetest,” you agreed solemnly. You leaned up and clumsily kissed him, catching him off-guard for just a few seconds before he chuckled against the kiss, pecking your lips lightly. He pulled away first, amused when he saw your look of disappointment at how quickly the kiss ended.
Sylus pinched your cheek, eliciting a pained yelp that stirred you fully awake. “Next time, you are not allowed to get yourself drunk without me around,” he scolded you firmly, though his facial expression was more gentle than angry.
“But it was pay day…”
One sharp look from Sylus had you clamming up. When he turned away, you let out a soft whine, “Wait…are you leaving me?”
He turned back just in time to see a pout forming on your face. He sighed for what seemed like the umpteenth time that night, giving you a slow shake of his head. He knew he was coddling you too much tonight, but he couldn’t bear to leave you alone in such a disoriented state. “Of course not, sweetie,” he answered with a smile, “I’m just going to turn off the lights.”
Once the lights were out, Sylus made his way back over to the bed. He chuckled in amusement as you scooted to the center, giving the empty space next to you an enthusiastic pat. Sylus climbed into bed, happy when you cuddled up to him.
“Caw-Caw, I have a question…”
“So it’s Caw-Caw again?” he asked bemused, and then muttered more to himself, “I think I’d rather you call me Sy-Sy instead… What is it, sweetie?”
“Would you still love me if I was a worm?”
“Sweetie, I would feed you to Mephisto,” he answered, not missing a single beat.
“Noooo…” you whined at him with tears brimming in your eyes. You weakly pawed at his arm with little fists, pleading, “Don’t feed me to Mephie…”
“Mephie?” he laughed, astonished that now you had taken the liberty of nicknaming his mechanical crow.
“I won’t taste good,” you insisted with a sweet pout.
“Personally, I think you taste divine,” Sylus teased with the double-entendre, but in your drunken state, you didn’t catch the double meaning. You could only sniffle sadly at him. He rubbed your cheek affectionately with the back of his hand, his crimson eyes seemed so bright in the darkness.
“Sy-Sy…”
“Hmm?” Sylus propped himself up on his elbow, his chin cradled in his hand as he peered down at you snuggled up close to him again.
“Where does the light go when you close the fridge door?”
“Drunk you is just full of silly questions, huh?”
You continued, not caring that he didn’t give you an actual answer to your previous inquiry, “Why do we make round pizza, put it in a square box, just to eat it as a triangle?”
Sylus blinked, sighing, feeling at a complete loss for words. “When you are sober, I’ll make sure to look up the answer for you, sweetie.”
“Sy-Sy?”
“What now?”
“Life is soup.”
Sylus raised his brow in complete confusion, not understanding a single damn word out of your mouth now. He didn’t even know how to respond to the odd comment, so he just continued to stare at you, hoping for a follow-up.
“And I am a fork.”
Sylus pulled you into his arms, laying on his back with you on top of him. “Alright, sweetie, it’s time for bed now.”
You giggled, rubbing your face against his soft shirt, inhaling deeply the faint scent of cologne on him. You sighed happily, smelling the familiar comforting, warm and woodsy fragrance on him. “Would you…” You yawned and rubbed your drowsy eyes, “love me if I shrink down to the size of your thumb?”
“Sweetheart, I’ll just have to keep you safe in my pocket.” Sylus brushed the flyaway hair away from your face, his expression tender as he gazed at your sweet, sleepy face resting on top of his chest. Even though he knew by morning, you wouldn’t remember a single thing from this night, Sylus still couldn’t help but voiced his thoughts and feelings aloud.
“I adore you,” he said, hushed, the weight of his words hung heavy in the stillness of the bedroom, “More than you will ever know.”
You yawned again, burrowing deeper into his embrace. “I love you, too, Mr. Big Ca-Cawk.”
Sylus could do nothing but laughed resignedly, his arms wrapped securely around you, holding you close to his body, the soft warmth of you against him was calming. Sylus felt a strange mixture of both happiness and bemusement by your drunk words, knowing your intoxicated state was also your most honest side, revealing to him the depths of your feelings for him. He kissed the top of your head, letting his eyes closed to rest as well, as he murmured, “Sweet dreams, you silly girl.”
#love and deepspace#love and deepspace sylus#love and deepspace fanfiction#lnds fanfics#love and deepspace x reader#sylus x reader#x — fanfics#🥹#sylus will always be big ca-cawk in my heart of hearts#💕
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save me fat hairy men.. fat hairy men... fat hairy men save me
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if kamala wins i draw gojo sucking cawk
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Zach Tinker
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Sylus girlies how are we doing


#personally speaking my heart stopped like 27 times and I replayed the banner twice#the devs were not fucking around man his CAWK was STRAINING#love and deepspace#lads#sylus#lads sylus#a.txt
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MC's toes fighting for their lives whenever she tries to smooch this giant ass man (and she still doesn't reach all the way to his mouth!) 😭 Bend your knees Sylus. Help your girl out 😤

Also can we talk about the size difference?! Holy fuck
Here's the other guys. Just for fun! From shortest to tallest 🤗




Btw speaking of giant ass...

😳
Is this part of the reason why this game takes up so much storage? dhdjfj
#wouldn't be surprised if that bubble butt is taking up 7GBS all by itself#and the monster cawk the same amount#still salty that i can't get this pose for anyone wondering 🥲👍🏻#they better put it and the rest of the poses we were promised in the lunar shop soo n or i stg#lads#love and deepspace#sylusmc#sylus x mc#zayne x mc#rafayel x mc#xavier x mc#caleb x mc#sylus#mc#lads sylus#mc lads#lads mc#sylus lads#love and deepspace sylus#mc love and deepspace#love and deepspace mc#sylus love and deepspace
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okay so…fratboy!patrick...
(truly my beloved. from this post ! stoner!art coming soon. filth below the cut)
you meet in a random discussion section for one of your sophomore english classes. get assigned to peer review each other's papers. he’s a sweetheart on the down low.
he’s one of those frat boys that shows up to your 8am section hungover or even still drunk with those fucking black sunglasses on. he talks about his conquests from the night before with his boys before class but still grabs you papers from the stack being passed around by the TA and hands them to you, your fingers brushing against his.
patrick invites you to the party at his frat house one week towards the end of the term, not thinking you'd show up. but he can't hold back a grin when he sees you walk up, pushing by the new pledge they'd made stand as a bouncer.
he watches you dance and take shots with your roommates and he can't keep his eyes off you..but he's just…surveying the party…that’s it.
patrick's the one who makes the announcement, “if you’re not a brother or with a brother, get the Fuck out.” to the whole party at the end of the night.
when that one creepy brother approaches to try and hit on you, hoping to get lucky, patrick wraps his arm around you, making a show of whispering in your ear and taking too much pleasure in the way the creep’s face falls.
"wanna go to the roof? grab some air?" he pulls the cigarette from behind his ear with a grin.
as you climb the stairs to the rooftop of the frat house, patrick's hand wanders to land on your hip as he pulls you closer. he's crushed his 4th beer of the night and you'd taken shots and had some of the jungle juice. neither of you mind the way it feels, him so close to you.
you share a smoke on the roof and he makes you laugh, his smile lines illuminated by moonlight as he tries to insistently point out constellations in the light-polluted Palo Alto sky. you try to look away from him, stay detached, brush him off. but you can't help that he's funny.
despite your efforts to stay away, you can't help yourself. your night ends with his tongue down your throat. he tastes like beer and cigarettes and looks at you like he wants to ruin you, just so he can piece you back together. wants to have you all for himself. you can't resist his gravity.
patrick takes you to his messy room in the frat house, kissing you with wild lips and tongue against the door, air thick with tension, before peeling off your clothes.
he guides you to your elbows and knees, your hands gripping the soft fabric of the sheets on his unmade bed.
he places slow kisses up the skin of your back before teasing the seam of your cunt with the tip of his cock, laughing as you shudder for him.
“oh…you like that? tell me what else you want..”
you’re practically putty in his hands, making all kinds of noises, trying to get him to stop teasing.
patrick can’t hold back his “fuck, baby…” as he finally enters you.
as he fucks you from behind, his hand reaches around from where it rested on your hip to rub your clit with his fingers almost sweetly, the gesture a stark contrast to the brutal way he was taking you.
patrick gives you a smirk as he continues to fuck into you. you look up to his eyes meeting yours in the reflection of his closet door mirror.
"god, look how pretty you are."
he gives your ass a spank before thrusting all the way in, tonguing your neck before he leans down, his chest molding to your back as he presses you down into the bed, impossibly deeper inside you.
"you're squeezing the hell out of me, y'know that?" he whispers in your ear as he covers your hand with his.
"can't believe this pretty little pussy..taking me so good..”
guess you're with a brother now.
#patrick zweig smut#patrick zweig x reader#patrick zweig#fratboy!patrick au#u are special to me#i guess i write about patrick cawk now nice#***#challengers fic#slush writes ౨ৎ⋆��
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home of sexual
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He's so sexy for this, actually 💁♀️
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putting him in a pretty skirt so the hem slowly rises and tents as he gets a boner. he can’t hide it from me the way he can while wearing jeans; forcing it to one side and pretending it isn’t there.
now all he can really do is let mommy lift that tiny skirt and reveal his cock to her like a present, all hard and ready to be used <3
#cawks in skirts!!#fdom#femdxm#subby boys#subby men#bd/sm mommy#bd/sm kink#1cky mommy#gentle fdom#domme mommy
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