#ceiling bc I am so stressed but enemy number 1 aka my brain refuses to let me sit down to properly study but at the same time i'm not | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

umilily · 1 year ago

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I've been trying to get this fucking degree for 7 years, suffering basically nonstop, taking part in all my classes, even taking extra ones, I think at this point I more than deserve them just giving me my bachelor's. I've done ENOUGH.

#lily talks #it has been a day #Have what might be my last exam ever on Friday and ahahahhah #I only got one attempt to pass it or I'll have to do an oral one and I would much rather die than do that #And I've put myself through almost 2 weeks of suffering from being unable to do basically anything other than lie in bed and stare at the #ceiling bc I am so stressed but enemy number 1 aka my brain refuses to let me sit down to properly study but at the same time i'm not #Allowed to do anything else because I'm not studying like I should be and I just am miserable #Anyway I've been a mess this entire time and NOW 2 fucking days before the exam the professor announces there will be another date in late #To take it instead #COULD YOU HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT THIS ANY EARLIER??????????#I am so tempted to switch the date because I barely studied and I feel like shit but i already suffered so much for this and then I would #Just have to do it all again #But I really can't afford to mess it up either bc I don't think I would recover from that. Genuinely.#I am so unbelievably done with all of this. The degree. uni. Constant stupid pressure from everyone about when I will finally be done.#Not even daring to think about the financial aspect because I would just cry #I feel so dumb for having a meltdown before any test situation I ever found myself in because you would expect that AT SOEM POINT my brain #That at some point I would learn to deal with it and cope somehow #Unfortunately I'm starting to doubt that this is going to happen in this lifetime

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