#That at some point I would learn to deal with it and cope somehow

[umilily]

I've been trying to get this fucking degree for 7 years, suffering basically nonstop, taking part in all my classes, even taking extra ones, I think at this point I more than deserve them just giving me my bachelor's. I've done ENOUGH.

[heizours]

YOUR FIRST

summary. he overhears a conversation about who was your first favourite character in the game, and they grow jealous about it

tags. gn! reader, grammatical mistakes may occur

cw. none as far as i have check

feat. scaramouche, thoma, childe, xiao, dottore

< back to event m.list

INTRO.

"Who was my first favourite character during the early days I was playing it?" You repeated the same question that your friend was asking you.

"Precisely! C'mon, I'm sure there is someone who had really caught your attention the moment they entered a quest you were playing or something like that."

They responded back, as they waited eagerly yet patiently for you to tell them, while you were busy thinking and reflecting back on who it was.

Little do you know, that they are not only one who's itching to know your big revelation.

If the doors have eyes, then the walls or perhaps the screens have ears as well.

"Well, I'd say that the first character who caught my attention and became my favourite in a short span of time is-"

SCARAMOUCHE.

"-Childe! 

Scaramouche acts like he is not deeply affected by it and acts like it wasn't a big deal to him, but the expressions that were painted on his face betrayed the best of him.

Why are you smiling when Childe's the topic?

What did he do to make you joyous like this?

But... if he is the first character you like, is it now a liked?

There is this some sort of uneasy feeling that continues to brew and swirl inside of him the very moment your face had brighten up at the mention of the harbinger's name, and he has no idea how to stop it and why was he feeling it in the first place.

Is this another emotion that a heart can experience and learn, from time to time? What was it called again?

Ah yes, jealousy.

Scaramouche suddenly scoffs at the realization, finding it hard to believe that he would feel the bitterness of what enviousness is like sooner than he had anticipated, and the primary cause that triggered it was none other than that side character.

Childe? Cool and Captivating? Please, you haven't even seen how he could be a million times better than him.

"You mean to tell me that I'm simply getting worked up all for this? Why should I be bothered over it, when I could be a whole lot better than him? Heh"

THOMA.

-Itto! 

Thoma rarely taste the medicine of jealousy but seeing that look on your face when you rambled on about the oni, somehow snapped him into his senses. He felt the need to grab your attention from the screen to tell you that he is here too, and maybe - just maybe you could switch your favours around. 

I'm not jealous...being one is simply irrational

Maybe — I am a little bit jealous

Alright, I am jealous...

While he would be in denial at first with the jealousy he is dealing with, he would still come to the generalization that he is indeed jealous, and if he will have to cope up with it, he would put back on his smiley facade, only this time something about his smile is a little unpleasing, that even Itto himself will not dare to breathe around him.

But, instead of continuing to bottle up his jealousy and act petty like the others, he would understand why you favour the oni and would put that first before his feelings.

Don't be fooled though, compliment him too while you're at it!

“Oh...I didn’t know they like him. It sounds very surprising coming from them, but who am I to judge? Well then, has anyone seen Itto? I bet he will be delighted to hear the news!”

CHILDE.

“-Thoma! 

Childe laughs it off - Yes, it’s the laugh that you are thinking right now where he is this close from committing another arson. He is definitely not a second away from taking a trip to Inazuma and is on the go to plan a competition with the housekeeper, because he’s too cool to even to something like that.

I see, another challenger perhaps?

Hmph, what’s the point of challenging him if I know that I am the strongest?

Clear skies Ajax, clear skies

At this point, it is quite clear that he is turning into the embodiment of jealousy due to the amount of assurance that he is telling to himself, not because he is threatened by Thoma but because he is threatened that your favouritism about him will be the reason for his downfall.

He is threatened by the fact that you could easily evict him from your main team and replace him with someone else from another region who is just newly released and is almost a carbon copy as him, if not for the differences of their physical appearances.

It is indeed true that jealousy is a disease, that not even Ajax himself could flee from it.

“Thoma? I have heard of that name, but I also heard that I can excel ten times better at the things he could do. No- I’m not showing off, I am simply describing that I am a way better option than him, that’s it.”

XIAO.

“-Scaramouche! 

Xiao stays the same as he is, or -  that’s what he thinks. Truth to be told, he doesn’t even realize that he is jealous, but as they say - actions speaks louder than words, and the way he is acting right now shows how he is envied by this favouritism topic.

Did I expect too much?

I don’t like this feeling...

Is this what those mortals call as jealousy?

It takes a while for him to accept that he is jealous, but after that whole feeling finally sinks in, well let’s say he is displeased by this realization because by every second, that feeling continues to sink deeper and deeper as if it’s attempting to land in the deepest depth of the ocean. 

But, like Thoma, he is another who tries to get over with it and respects why you favour that character the most. Maybe it’s because you see them in a different light that others can’t, and he understands that.

Everyone has favourites, and he can’t blame you for that because even him has one which is you but he would rather not say it.

"Hm, while I do not fawn over him, I suppose I understand why you like him in the first place. Whatever makes you happy, is simply enough for me to know why."

DOTTORE.

- Alhaitam!

Dottore remains indifferent or so what he assures to himself, because if anyone where to see right through him, displeased is not even used enough to describe how disturb he is by that revelation.  

The Akademiya scribe is what they fawn over the most, hm?

How interesting....

Though, irritating would be the right word for it

His pride is wounded, and what makes it even more worse for him is he is a man of intelligence. So naturally, he is intimidated and threatened that the scribe who is also intelligent but not as him, could be the reason why he can’t turn the favour of you to him.

To get rid of the jealousy that he is feeling, he will dedicate most of his time (like he isn’t in the first place) inside his lab, doing things where only he knows what it is. He is one of the upper rank harbingers and dictated as the doctor for a reason, and the only way he could could get off the steam he is feeling, is to be busy.

While he is ordering around his clones and agents at the same time, any step or news that he gets from them and will be deemed as a failure, will have to face some serious issues from him, especially that Dottore is not in the mood to be in a dilly dally manner.

“Anything I need? Perhaps you can give me a little information about the scribe - take it or leave it. Either way, leaving it is not even an option in the first place.”

[kneelingshadowsalome]

How does Minotaur!Konig handle an argument with his wife/his wife being upset with him? He clearly avoids making her upset as much as possible because he loves her and only wants to see her happy, and she loves and accepts him as he is, quirks and all so I don't really see them getting into fights but maybe he gets way too reactive and violent with someone in town over a perceived slight and she gives him the silent treatment on the way home or something. I feel like he'd be so sad even if she only didn't talk to him for like an hour 😞 I can also see his insecurities/abandonment issues coming into play, he starts overthinking and makes it a whole big thing in his head and meanwhile she's already forgetting that she was even upset with him. These are just my thoughts but maybe you have something else in mind/see it playing out differently!

Yes absolutely!!

Minotaur!König cannot cope with this shit at all. The last time he did something “bad” ended in him being thrown into a cold, dark Labyrinth. Even as a grown man he goes straight into survival mode if he sees that he has somehow disappointed his beloved 💔

His wife knows how König is so it would take a lot for her to visibly show she’s upset with him. Our bull tries to avoid chaos as best he can which means arguments between these two are extremely rare — but they do happen! Because one thing you must know about all versions of König is that they think they’re always right. Minotaur!König is just as thick headed as the rest of them so if he thinks that “his cause is just” then he will stand his ground no matter what. He will claim that water is wine if he thinks it’s so!

Some petty perceived insult directed at his wife could get him riled very easily, could get them both into trouble because König won't cool down before he’s drawn blood. He wants to give this poor soul's head to his wife, on a plate if possible, and if he can’t do that the tension just won’t go away. How can life go on if he hasn’t done what’s right??

She has to guide König in social situations and explain later what it was all about, what different phrases mean and how he can’t just kill people if they don’t behave the way he wants them to. In some ways, she knows she is dealing with a child and has to be patient, how could this poor man know how to behave when he lived underground all those years? All he was taught was that he’s evil, unwanted and ugly, so the last thing she wants to do is hurl blame at him and scream. Silent treatment would totally be one of her ways to show him he didn’t get points home this time, but for König even the tiniest distancing looks like she’s abandoning him. Throwing him mentally into a tiny tiny Labyrinth, telling him he’s not wanted, that he’ll never be loved :(

And poor König doesn’t know what to do and how to be, for a while the anxiety threatens to take over. He reaches for her hand, then pulls away fearing she doesn’t want to be touched. He tries to talk, but nothing comes out because he doesn’t entirely understand what he should apologise for. He stands in the middle of the room and watches her blow air on the coals and just go on about her day, thinking that the time has finally come when she tells him to get out of the house.

It takes years before König takes the initiative in reconciling because he simply doesn’t know how to do it. Blunt, pained statements such as “Are you upset with me,” and “You’re disappointed in me” are common before he learns that the world is not going to end even if they’re not happy with each other all the time. His wife is usually the one who comes to him and says that everything is okay and that she was only upset with what he did, not with who he is.

Just imagine this adorable goof being both stubborn in his "I don’t have to say I’m sorry" policy and crippled by his "Are you going to abandon me" fear 💔 How can you even be angry at this man? There’s no chance, especially when he’s a jerk only once or twice a year 🩷🦬

[your-regular-toast-enjoyer]

Platonic!Yandere Batman!Damian with new young robin!reader headcannons (extra points if you include uncle Jon and the league somehow)

Platonic! Yandere! Batman! Damian Wayne x Robin! Reader

Damian Wayne x reader. Yandere!Damian Wayne x reader/ Yandere Damian Wayne x Reader

Word count: 5604 words

TW: GN reader, Yandere, manipulation, adult Damian Wayne (based on Batman in Bethlehem), toxic family relations, obsession & Platonic yandere.

Okay, so I imagine that this all occurs at a time when Bruce has resigned and most of the others have moved on in some way, not only leaving Damian as the only one available and willing to take over the Batman cowl, but also making him impossibly alone. Desperate, abandoned and lonely. 

Dick is busy with his life in Blüdhaven, (either married to Barbara or Koriand’r, maybe even with a kid), working primarily as a detective for the Blüdhaven police force. He’s juggling a career, family and, obviously, his vigilante patrols at night, so the time left to visit Damian is minimal. 

Jason still occasionally patrols the streets at night, but he’s mostly out with Starfire and Roy, either playing uncle with Lian/Kori’s possible kid or doing Outlaws missions whenever Chesire/Jade Nguyen pulls herself together enough to take care of her daughter for a while. Jason is too busy getting his own life on track to even start worrying about Damian’s loneliness. 

Tim is probably still in Gotham, although he’s also busy. He’s building his own life as well, either with Bernard or some other girlfriend/boyfriend of his. He’s probably busy renovating an apartment close to the manor, on top of Wayne Enterprise work and vigilante obligations, giving him no free time to come visit for leisure time. Sure, Damian communicates with him over the comms on a daily basis, but it’s not really the same as speaking to someone face to face. Not to mention that shouting orders, descriptions and coordinates probably doesn’t count as a proper conversation.

Alfred is probably dead. I know everyone always jokes that he’s immortal, but even if he was, no one can deal with the Wayne family for more than a single lifetime. So, whether he clocked out naturally or simply, using his all-mighty Alfred powers, just decided to let his life seep out of him like air in a balloon. Alfred is gone.

In Alfed’s place, Bruce has stepped up as a type of off-brand Alfred. He’s retired his superhero alias, and now only has his CEO duties to focus on, which would’ve been a lot for most people, but this is Bruce and to him, it’s too little. So he has learned to cook, hires people to clean the house, make the beds etc. and has, (through observing the best dry cleaners he could possibly hire), learned to wash clothes, attempting to emulate Alfred as some type of coping mechanism for his absence. That doesn’t mean he has the same emotional intelligence as Alfred, it’s still Bruce we’re talking about, but he has the practicalities down. So yeah, Bruce has become an elderly man. But since he still is good old Bruce, that also means that his emotional availability is practically non-existent, made in no way better by the fact that he shut himself in even more after Alfred’s passing and most of his children flying away from the nest. Bruce longs for the old times, longs for the comforting presence of Alfred and the jolly sounds of younger people chit-chatting. Yet, no matter how much Damian might attempt to engage in longer conversations with Bruce, it’s not happening.

If you have a hard time imagining how Damian would look like Batman, think of Batman in Bethlehem. He has exchanged the unhandy cape for the much more practical coat, which not only gives him a more serious appearance but also proves to be a great weapon against the Gotham cold, as well as leaving much more room for gadgets, weapons and, just like his father, a secret compartment for treats. He is a much more menacing and unforgiving Batman compared to his father, never letting a goon get away. He is thorough to the point of near-perfection, which is damn impressive, but it’s also draining on Damian, both physically and emotionally. His father had a horde of Robins, Batgirls and the sporadic extra orphan to aid him in his pursuit for justice, all Damian has is Tim, and occasionally Jason, the latter of which is slowly coming to the realisation that sustaining the same muscle mass as a cow for decades takes a toll on your joints. 

So, even before Damian encounters you, he’s been in the search of someone to make the nightly patrolling of Gotham easier. Damian’s original intention hadn’t been to get a Robin. Actually, he considered “rescuing” an assassin from his mother’s army at the League of Assassins and reprogramming their mind through the various means that had been proven useful in war situations of the past… He did briefly consider asking Dick to contact M’gann for some “healthy” use of mind control. Yeah… Damian is not nearly as morally self-righteous as Bruce, another factor which has driven a wedge between the two.

However, then Damian met you. 

I can imagine that you had recently moved to Gotham, either with your family or alone. You’re probably no older than sixteen at the time of your and Damian's meeting, so if you’re moving to Gotham alone, you’re probably going to be at Gotham academy’s boarding school. But no matter what, you happen to be a huge Batman and, ostensibly, Robin fan. You have posters hung on your wall and photos of you dressing up as Robin when you were younger. It’s not quite Tim Drake-levels of fanboy/girl/person, but you are a bonafide fan.

So, as a fan, you enjoy looking out into the Gotham night, spotting either Red Robin or Batman pass in the air with the wires of their gliders shining in the moonlight. It gives you a sense of safety, knowing that the city has its protectors. Like any other fan, you can’t help but fantasise about how it’d feel to be one of them. How nice it must feel to have the wind hit your cheeks as you zoom through the night sky, and how cool you’d look in one of those fancy superhero suits. 

You have made multiple drawings throughout your youth of yourself as Robin or sometimes even your own made-up hero. You’ll prance around your room alone, listening to music, jumping from your desk chair to your bed to anywhere else with a flat surface, pretending that you’re a vigilante. Heck! I wouldn’t be surprised if you had begged your parents to send you to some type of martial arts as a kid. Begging, praying and practically kissing their feet until they oblige. That is, of course, if you didn’t have parents who had already sent you to karate/Jujitsu/you name it, before you yourself ever came up with that idea. 

I can imagine that the day you and Damian’s ways cross, it’s while he’s out as Batman. For some reason you’ve been left alone to go home/to the academy in the late evening hours, (a recipe for disaster in Gotham). Maybe you had to attend some school-arranged art show/science fair/literature competition and the teachers hadn’t coordinated a way for students to come home/your parents had forgotten that you were out for the night. Whatever it was, you were scared and alone, walking through the streets of Gotham at night. 

As will always happen in Gotham under such circumstances, a large shadowy man emerges from within one of Gotham’s many alleys. He’s neither quiet nor light on his feet, but he is big and the stench of piss, alcohol and decay attacks you before he even has the chance to. You might try to run, but his legs are longer than yours and he reaches you before you get anywhere. Huge grubby hands encase around your collar, heaving you up against a nearby brick wall, the rough texture cutting into the back of your head and back. You might try to use your martial arts knowledge to attempt to fend him off, and you may be successful. However, once you manage to make the man drop you, a swarm of similar-looking men emerge from the nearby alleys, alerted by the noise. They practically lick their lips at the sight of a young and defenceless school student, dumb enough to emerge after dark, it’s practically a Christmas gift for these degenerates. They surround you and you realise that you can’t fight them all, not at once. Your screams for help alert everyone in the neighbourhood, but none will come to your rescue, that’s just how Gotham functions. None…Except for Batman.

Damian hears your scream and within minutes the goons who attempted to attack you are on the floor, heads busted and limbs broken, some scramble away in fear, but end up with Damian’s grappling hook ripping a hole through their legs. The green-eyed Batman is surprisingly efficient, and it takes him no time to get you to safety, scoping you into his arms, as if you weighed less than a feather, and with his grappling hook, he flies through the air to the nearest rooftop. If you hadn’t been so traumatised and shocked by the near-death experience you just had, you might’ve been able to appreciate the experience of literally being saved by your idol. But alas you were, and the shaking of your limbs and rattling of your brain made you wholly unable to connect with reality. 

Damian is patient with you, his glowed hands trace your back as you slowly gather your breath, and once the worst shock is out of your body, he reaches into his breast pocket, where he pulls out a lolly, offering it to you. Now, one should never accept candy from a stranger, but when that stranger is Batman, you can be fairly certain it won’t be tampered with. As such, you accepted the candy with wide burning eyes. Your attempts at slowly peeling away the plastic were a hard-fought battle and Damian had to help you, slowly guiding your hand towards your mouth as you popped the candy into your mouth. The sweetness helped ground you a little, not to mention that it also helped you regain some of your lost powers.

When Damian reckons that you are mentally present again, he prompts you to tell him what happened. With trembling lips, you started to mutter out an answer, about how you had to walk alone because no one was there to get you home safely, how you’d fended one of the men off but then more just came, you almost let a sob slip, but manage to keep it in. Your emotional control and fighting spirit impress Damian, but more importantly, the utter imbecility of the adults in your life makes Damian feel a rage unlike any other.

Damian would take you home in his arms, barging through the front door of either your parents’ apartment or the front door of the academy. He ignores the protest of any adults attempting to stop him, even daring to roughly push them out of the way, as he carries you to your room, following your directions. Once he’s there, he’ll carefully put you on your bed and tug you in like a little kid, no matter your age at the time. He brushes your hair out of your face, (if you have any), and gently swipes your forehead with his thumb. This may seem like inappropriate behaviour for a stranger, but he’s Batman and you’re traumatised and still in shock. It’s his best attempt at calming you down.

Once you’re tugged in, he goes to your guardian, eyes burning with the fury of a thousand suns. He’ll scream his throat dry, reprimanding them for their carelessness, and if you’re living with your parents, he’ll threaten to call CPS on them. He’ll leave the building with a huff and a last warning of revenge should anything similar ever happen again.

It’s after this that Damian has a hard time letting go. He can’t help but constantly fear that you’re being mishandled in some way by your carers. He has nightmares of you in an alley, getting shot like his grandparents or worse… No! It’s so awful that he can’t even bear the thought. These tumultuous emotions will move him to the absolute edge, and to satiate his anxiety, even just a little, he’ll take to stalk look after you. He’ll follow your movements every free minute he has between working at Wayne Enterprises and patrolling the city as Batman, and if you have a bike or pair of shoes you often use, he’ll somehow manage to slip a tracker in there to follow your every move, even when he’s at work or out patrolling. “It’s just to keep them safe”, he’ll tell himself, justifying his actions. But really, whatever his intentions might’ve been in the beginning, they slowly morph into something darker, more possessive. Damian starts to wonder if he might not be a better parent and mentor to you than your real parents. They’re neglectful, he surmises. Either they were the ones who let you walk through Gotham at night, or they simply shipped you off to Gotham Academy, which clearly had no idea how to take care of its students.

Damian might force Bruce to attend his retelling of the night he met you, how he had to follow you around...to ensure your safety, of course! He twists the story and paints your parents as the most horrendous of people, totally disinterested in the well-being of their child, it makes Bruce pity you. Damian suggests that they take you, and make sure that you get a safer environment, with Damian adopting you, in a sense. Bruce isn’t entirely convinced of this, citing that they cannot just kidnap you from your home. However, when Damian mentions how you’re pretty much like Tim, except a better person in every regard, Bruce’s longing for nostalgia slowly creeps back through the cracks. His mind swirls with memories of little Dick, Jason, Tim and even Damian. When was the last time they had a kid, or at least a young person, in the house? It’s been so long that he barely remembers. The house is too big just for two adult men, they could really use someone to spice up the atmosphere. And as such, Bruce is on board… Not that Damian would’ve listened to him if he said otherwise.

  With the decision made that you will become the newest in a long line of adopted Waynes, Damian sets out to get you. He will attempt to make it look natural… like the way Bruce adopted Dick after his parents died… Yeah, wouldn’t it be a shame if all your aunts and uncles suddenly started having issues in their life leaving them incapable of ever taking care of themselves, let alone you if something happened to your parents? 

And wouldn’t it be even more of a shame if… let’s say, after pretty much all adults in your family either died, was run bankrupt or somehow ended up in jail… your parents finally die in a freak accident. Perhaps it’s a car crash due to someone having messed with its tailpipe? Or maybe they went to the cinema, only for the projector to hit them… and only them? It could even just be that while you’re out of the house/at the academy that they suddenly have a carbon monoxide slip in their home, making them silently sleep in the arms of the grim reaper. 

Whatever it is, your parents will mysteriously die, and with no one else in your family able to take you in, the Gotham police department is left at a standstill. If you came from another country than the US, they might talk about sending you back to an orphanage there… anything is better than Gotham… but if you’re American they’ll have no other choice than to start preparations to move you into one of the rat-infested shiteholes calling themselves Gotham orphanages.

Wherever you’re from, you don’t have to wait more than a day before someone unexpectedly shows up at the police station, just as the pitying policemen are trying to help you pack your last stuff into boxes, ready to be sent wherever you need to go. Multi-billionaire, Damian Wayne. Everyone at the station is suspicious about how the green-eyed Wayne heard about the sudden availability of an orphan without any family to go to, but he’s a Wayne, so they’re not surprised… They have a thing for adopting orphans after all. And that’s exactly what Damian proposes!

The broad-shouldered man will bow down to your level, reach out a hand, a gentle smile on his otherwise hardened features, and offer you to join him as his ward. With the horror stories you’ve heard of orphanages combined with the possibility of being adopted by a literal billionaire, you don’t hesitate to accept, albeit reluctantly. Whatever reservations the police may have is waved off by the thought that the Waynes have experience with orphans and they’ll be able to give you a life so much more engaging than anyone else ever possibly could. To most of them, this seems like the perfect ending to your otherwise sad story… If only they knew.

Any legal troubles with adopting you, or if any relative attempts to better themselves to be able to take over your care, will be solved with a wat of cash in someone corruptible’s hands and a slight threat of homicide. To anyone except Damian, the adoption went entirely smoothly and without a hitch.

Once you’re settled in with Damian and Bruce, you’ll come to realise that this life really isn’t all that you expected it to be.  The trauma of your parents’ deaths is still fresh, but Damian expects you to get over it within the first few weeks, he is after all, (in his mind at least), your new “dad/mentor”, you’re not alone…Not like he’s been for the past many years… So why can’t you just settle into your new life with vigour? Or at least not mope around most of the time! 

Bruce is more patient than Damian, he’ll let you open up to him, even if he’s bad with emotions. I can imagine that after the death of your parents, you might develop heavy night terrors, to which Bruce will attempt to calm you by sitting at your bedside until you fall asleep. If you feel especially anxious one night, Bruce will swear that he and Damian will protect you, no matter what. After a while, Damian will take over nightguard duty, realising that he needs to let you open up slowly… or at least not instantly…

Damian might start reading you bedtime stories, even if you’re technically too old for them. His voice is just so calming, its eclectic accent combined with clear brass undertones, both of which remind you of a certain hero… It makes you momentarily forget the fear and despair that came with the death of your parents, so, even if it’s a little infantilising, you appreciate Damian’s presence as you fall asleep, it makes you feel safe. 

If you’ll let him, Damian will trace calming circles on your back while reading, and if you ask him to, he’ll tell you stories from his childhood… the censored versions, he doesn’t want your delicate ears to get hurt by him explaining how he knew a million ways to kill a man before he even turned ten…

You will live a relatively comfortable life with Bruce and Damian for a while, getting introduced to the others whenever they find the time to drop by to meet the new member of the Wayne legacy, as well as getting acquainted with Jon Kent, who, (as Damian’s best friend), demands to be called uncle, despite you not even calling Damian dad… At least not yet. If all this attention on you makes you uncomfortable and feel like a zoo exhibition, Damian will immediately ban everyone except Jon and Tim from visiting for the next long while, even Dick. Tim kinda needs access to the manor for when he and Damian are doing patrol debriefings and Jon refused to not come around, besides he’s so disarming that you’ll probably get used to him quickly… whether or not you end up calling him uncle.

After a while, Damian might come to the conclusion that to truly bond with you he must give you an outlet for your frustrations… And he only knows one way that ever really worked for him… Becoming Robin.

One day, when you come home from school, Damian will command you to follow him in a tone which you had never heard him speak to you with before. It is hard, serious and foreboding, chills will spread up your back and through your fingers, a bad taste will invade the back of your throat and your breaths cut short… What did you do? Was Damian going to throw you back on the path of an orphanage kid? What had you done?

What you did not expect was for Damian to strut up to an old grandfather clock, turning the arrows on the white disk to exactly 10:47. Whether or not you’re the type of person to be easily surprised, there’s no way you wouldn’t be at least a little taken aback when the large clock swung back, revealing the entrance to what looked to be a cave.

You had no context to put it up against and as such your fear took over, making you slowly back away from the hole in the wall that had just been revealed. Damian’s weird behaviour doesn’t make the situation any better either. Really, for you, there’s no telling what’s going on.

Damian notices your hesitation and briefly takes offence until he senses your genuine fear.  “It’s nothing bad, I promise. It’s just a family secret that I trust you enough to know.” He’ll try to reassure you, whether it works or not doesn’t matter, as he picks you up like you weighed nothing and carries you down the metal steps… He doesn’t trust you to not fall and hurt yourself.

Once down in the cave, he’ll reveal to you that he’s Batman, the second one to bear the monicker. He’ll reveal the hero identities of all your “new uncles”, even Jon. All the information that he believes you could possibly need will be loaded onto you in a “brief” thirty minutes monologue. By the end of it, you’re floored… who wouldn’t be? This is probably the last thing anyone would ever consider when moving in with a new family. A bit of your fan behaviour might poke through, as you go from shocked to concerned to almost a little ecstatic… your favourite hero is your adopted father… Wow! The powers above really shone down on you after you had lost everything, huh?

But the pleasant surprises don’t stop there as Damian starts to describe how most Robins lost their birth parents somehow, (with him being the exception), and how most of them worked through this, (not really), by becoming vigilantes. You start to wonder and maybe even hope that he’ll offer the position to you, but multiple times have to remind yourself to stop dreaming, it would be unlikely, right? I mean, you might be able to fight, but not vigilante-level, right? Well… Damian disagrees, and he offers you to become his Robin. In all your star-struck wonder, you fail to see the possessive and obsessive glint in his eyes. You accept on the spot, feeling as if it’s a dream come true.

From then on, your days will be filled with nothing except school, family and Robin training, there’ll simply be no time for friends and going out doing your own thing, and Damian loves it! He believes you’re the safest when you’re within the manor or in his direct line of sight. Anywhere else is dangerous.

Damian will eventually start to suspect the safety of your school…The teachers probably don’t know how to defend you from rogues. Heck! Hey probably don’t even care for your safety! His mind ruminates on the topic for a while, until he decides to let you be homeschooled. He asks around to see if there’re any good private teachers whom he can trust, but there aren’t. None of the people he interviews ever fit his standards: One is too lax, the other too strict, one isn’t clever enough and a fourth doesn’t seem loyal enough. It’s next to impossible to fill out all the demands that the green-eyed Wayne sets up, but there’s one man whom Damian would trust with your education and safety. Bruce… If we’re all being honest, he’s probably a better teacher in all subjects than those who actually studied for the position. It’s actually Bruce’s own idea that he’ll be the one tutoring you, he can work for Wayne enterprises at home, and teach you at the same time, it’s great bonding, and Bruce enjoys your youthful presence so much. It’s a win-win situation for both men… Of course, this will also mean that you’ll become entirely isolated from anyone that isn’t Damian approved. Your social circles are suddenly limited to a bunch of adults, most of whom are vigilantes, hell-bent on keeping others safe… This has the added side-effect of depriving you of anyone who might support your suspicions, should you sound the alarm as Damian puts up more and more safety protocols to keep you out of harm's way.   

With no one else but the family, you become entirely submerged in the vigilante culture and social circles, as you train to become the new Robin. The only people you’ll see on a regular basis will be Damian, grandpa Bruce, uncle Jon and uncle Tim. Perhaps great uncle Clark will semi-regularly swing by with great aunt Lois, but that’s rare, Bruce usually goes to them. You may notice yourself becoming quite dependent on Damian and Bruce’s company and attempt to rebel, this doesn’t fly with Damian. He loves you, but he’s not the most patient of people. He will have no qualms about locking you in your room for hours or even days, only letting you out to do your Robin training.

It’ll take a long time for Damian to let you become a true Robin, he wants to be sure that you’ll be safe and have the skills to defend yourself fully. It wouldn’t even surprise me if you had already reached the age of 18 before you got to actually patrol the city, not that this would change anything, Damian would either pay someone to fake your birth certificate so that you were still his legal ward on paper or maybe just refuse to let you have any more freedom, even if you protest… at that point, he would have had years to manipulate you into being entirely loyal to the family and more specifically him, so I doubt that it’d be a real problem.

Regardless, when he does bestow upon you the right to become Robin, it’ll be the end of a long road. He’ll invite everyone in your immediate social circle to come and celebrate, even some of Bruce’s old colleagues like Hal Gordan and Barry Allen might show up, it’s a big party and it’s all about you. Any fancy dresses or suits you want? it’s yours! The entire house will be decorated in your favourite colours and all your favourite food will be served! At the end of the evening, everyone will be gathered in one of the manor’s large living rooms, and Damian will present you with your very own Robin suit. You’ll be surprised to find that it’s a real-life replica of the ones you had drawn as a child. If you wonder how he got them, Damian will simply say he had found them in the rubbish the day you moved in and he had thought it a shame to throw them out… really he had stolen the drawing from you back when he was still stalking you, having collected the perfect materials throughout your years of training, it had sometimes been a struggle to find fabric that both matched your idea of the costume as well as being practical in a field setting, but he had managed it, and now you had the perfect costume, just the way you’d always wanted it.

Damian is overprotective of you the first many times that you’re out as Robin, to the point where he barely lets you fight, out of fear that you might get hurt. But slowly and with the reassurances of both Tim, Jon and Bruce, he’ll let you fight on your own. His eyes will still always find your form the second he hears a grunt coming from your direction, but he’ll let you handle it unless he deems the situation too dangerous… which he does quite often…

Life will be fine as long as you’re by his side, he’s your Batman and you’re his Robin, and Gotham is delighted by the return of the traffic-cone-themed sidekick. Bruce will look upon you and Damian fondly, and be reminded of good-old times when that was him and Dick, or the beginning of him and Jason… Back before it all got so complicated… which is ironic because the emotions involved in you and Damian’s Batman/Robin partnership are way more complicated, dark and obsessive than any of Bruce’s ever were.

You might wonder why Bruce never opposes Damian’s obvious yandere tendencies, but, in truth, Bruce refuses to see them. After all his sons, (except Damian), moved out, he got too old to be Batman, Alfred died and his entire life practically had to be narrowed down to Wayne Enterprises and occasional visits from his boys, (most of whom he was estranged from), Bruce had lost his spark, his reason to wake up in the morning. However, when you arrived, an entirely new chapter of his life opened up. He no longer felt like he was riding through the last fourth of his life without any meaning. No, with you there, he now had the responsibilities of a grandfather! He had someone to live for and to tell his near-endless anecdotes to! Your sudden appearance in his life saved him, and as such, he couldn’t even begin to let himself see the cracks in the happy facade he depended on to keep his life going. To him, you were all a happy and healthy family, three generations: Father, son and grandchild. And no one could take that away from him, he refused.

As you grow up, still living with Damian and Bruce, switching between the two identities of Robin and y/n, the wealthy socialite, adopted by Damian Wayne, you might start to consider whether you should create something of your own, instead of just living a life that Damian created for you. You might look at photos of the old Teen Titans and Young Justice, all hung throughout the halls of Wayne manor, and think to yourself, “maybe I could do something like that too”.

If you verbalise this idea to Damian, he’ll stop whatever he’s doing, his eyes widening with fear and rage. “You want to leave us?! After everything we’ve done for you?!” You can try your best to explain that you just want to become your own person, but Damian will hear non of it. He becomes frantic and angry, making you sit and listen to him rant about how dangerous it can be for a bunch of sidekicks, not even fully-fledged heroes, to just team up and battle it out. He’ll list to you all the most horrific incidents that happened in both Teen Titans and Young Justice, the people that got permanently, the people that got seriously maimed and those who died horrifically. At the end of his hours-long rant, he’d have instilled sufficient anxiety within you to turn you off to that idea.

After your suggestion, though, Damian might realise that you could be in need of a friend around your age. He doesn’t like the idea, a mix of both jealousy and the fear that they won’t protect you makes him reluctant to seek out some of the other sidekicks, but for you and your mental well-being, he’ll do anything. So he finds a sidekick, it could be Jon’s… actually, it’s most likely Jon’s sidekick, I can’t really see him trusting anyone else. But he’ll go up to them and practically demand that they befriend you. If they’re anything like Jon, and I can imagine that they are, they’ll accept with a big smile.

You may have a hard time befriending Jon’s sidekick, especially if your personalities aren’t compatible, however, they’re the only other person around your age you have, so you’ll have to make do. Eventually becoming best friends, even if you can’t stand them.

Any other need you could possibly have, Damian will always find a way to satiate it without ever giving you your freedom. It’ll be the most infuriating game of pulling rope, he’ll always give in to your demands, but in a way that just further cements your inability to escape him.

Damian will never let you go, not as long as he lives. If you try to get married… hah! No. Not happening. If you wanna go to university, he’ll hire tutors to come to your home. You’re never escaping and Damian isn’t coy about showing his possessiveness and platonic obsession with you. You’re his kid, even if you refuse. Really, you should have just stayed home that fateful night when you met, because now you’re stuck as Damian’s Robin, forever.

A/N: Yes, you can just ignore this, it's mostly for the user who sent in the request.

Thank you for this idea! I hope you like what I did with it!

I'm really sorry that these take so long to come out lately, but I have my final exams in a little over a month, (they start on the 1st of May), so I'm in a pretty tight spot for time recently, I'll obviously become more productive when they're all done, and I do also have another full one shot of Damian in the works. For the anon who requested this, I would just like to say, you had a wonderful idea, and I hope I did it justice, it didn't really go where I had originally intended it to, but I hope that this is what you might've preferred either way.

[adventuringblind]

Butterflies on You Skin

Oscar Piastri x Reader

Genre: angst and hurt/comfort

Request: No, this is entirely self indulgent

Summary: Sometimes, the coping mechanisms we create aren't the ones we need...

Warnings: graphic images if SH

Notes: I do not in any way condone SH. I used to read fics like this when I was going through it and it helped. Like somehow reading about fictional me doing it and then getting help allowed he to have those same sensations. My point being that I am struggling at the time I'm writing this and I'm determined to stay clean (almost two years!). This helps me and I hope it helps someone else out there too. Remeber you're not alone ❤️

Masterlist

People don't understand that pain can become addicting. When you've been through so much of it, all of it not by choice, choosing the pain feels like a release.

She knows it's wrong. She knows there are better ways of dealing with things. But she can't see to stop herself.

It's her way of reminding herself she has power and control. She picks where the knife goes and how deep it cuts into her skin. She chooses when and where it happens.

It was something she needed and relied on for so long. Until she met Oscar.

They were teenagers when they met. Some birthday party for a mutual friend. Both of them left feeling out of place, so they gravitated towards each other.

Phone numbers were exchanged.

They spent far too much time talking to each other. She felt that he kept her down to earth. That no matter the bad things that happened, he would be there. Even replacing the knife occasionally.

He found her intriguing. Her perspectives on life and her dreams for the future. Her head had a tendency to get stuck in the clouds, but he didn't mind. He likes listening to her talk.

When they both graduate, he invites her to his races. Watching him felt fulfilling in a way, and she likes the traveling.

Yet when she's alone. Her head is sending her to places she can't come back from. When she needs the sting she's come to crave, she's spending the night with her knife.

When Oscar finishes his f2 career and becomes the third driver for Alpine, he ends up confessing his feelings for her. Something she's been wanting to do for years but never could.

A week later, he's kissing her. Her heads find the clouds easily after that. Something about his presence and how he is so genuine clears away the hurricane that is her thoughts.

Being a third driver means Oscar does have a bit more free time. He gets to go home to see her more often. Something she's not used to.

The Australian gets home late one night. He comes in quietly since he figures she's already asleep.

Oh, how terribly wrong he is.

She'd had a fight with her family earlier that day. Her parents have never been good at communication, and they still claim they gave her a better life than what they had. Which is true, she thinks.

She has no reason to be sad.

Another reason to draw the sharp edge across her skin. Another thin red line to add to the ever growing tally.

Oscar sees the bathroom door closed and the light turned on. He hears the clatter next. He presses his ear to the door. Debating whether to make his presence known or if that would scare her more than if he waited.

The hiss of pain is what gets him. "Love? Are you alright?" All movement on the other side stops. Then the clatter again.

She hates when she gets sloppy. She knows she's gone too far, and Kscar wasn't supposed to be home until tomorrow.

She stares down at the crimson colored lines. The contents of the wounds coat her skin at dripping to the floor.

"Love? Please answer."

But she can't answer. what is she supposed to say? That her unhealthy coping mechanism is finally becoming her undoing. The she's tried to stop but the sensation is something she's learned to crave?

Oscar tried the handle. Received to find it unlocked. He opens just a small crack. He's never been one to invade her privacy.

The look of pain in his eyes makes her sob. He dosent move when he sees her. His mind trying to register what he's seeing.

How had he never noticed until now?

He can tell she’s panicking. He gently moves himself to the floor, grabbing a towel as he goes. He doesn’t say anything, just gently start to clean her up.

When he’s successfully disinfected the wounds and has bandages them up, he lead her into their room.

“I know it’s hard, but we have to talk about it.”

She just shakes her head in response. He deserves an explanation. Really, he deserves someone better.

She just tells him everything. Basks in the gentleness of his voice and warmth of his touch as she does so.

~

She was expecting him to leave. Her mind convinced she was unlovable in her state. After all, who could fall in love with someone who crave the sting of a knife?

But she was wrong.

Oscar was somehow filled with a new sense of purpose and they found themselves working together to help her pull through to the other side. A reminder that she is far from alone.

He’s quick to find a way to help her and when he does it feels almost magical.

The butterfly project. The goal is to not kill the butterflies.

They start small. She puts the butterfly on her hand. Just a simple doodle.

It doesn’t last long and she’s crying over the fact she killed it.

The next time around there are two butterflies. One on her and one in Oscar. His drawing take much more time. His deliberate design giving her more motivation to not ruin it.

It’s gone in two weeks and she relapses that day. Yet the fact she made it that far was an accomplishment.

Soon the butterflies are everywhere. Both their arms covered.

It became something she did when she was bored. Her hands drawing the bugs in every open surface.

It was difficult and she slipped but she was getting better.

Oscar was so incredibly proud of her. He got asked frequently about the creatures that littered his skin. He just said he liked them and so does his girlfriend.

When Oscar started with McLaren, Lando noticed them immediately. “If you ever need to talk I’m here if you want.” Oscar shoots him a confused look before remembering the lovely blue butterfly colored in with Sharpie placed in the middle of his forearm.

So she's made it to a year. Sure, she's slipped here and there, but it's nothing like it used to be. It's something to celebrate.

Oscar spends the entire day with her. Praising her acomplishment and reminding her how proud he is if her and how proud she should be of herself.

She is proud. It's something she never thought she could do. Not on her own, at least.

It's Oscar that helped her through and the butterflies in her skin.

Now she's has a permanent one. A reminder she came through to the other side. A reminder that she is not alone. Most importantly, a reminder she's loved.

~

Remember you're not alone.

This was somewhat based on a true story. Here's my reminder to myself every day that I'm not done yet, and neither are you. Keep fighting loves ❤️

[giurochedadomani]

Thoughts on Mihawk aquiring teenaged Zoro like middle schooler absolutely peak feral Zoro and Mihawk like panics. (Idk how he aquires him maybe the universe went father hood be upon you or something.) so Mihawk doesn’t know how to raise a child and is like uh do you need food? And Zoro’s just like frothing at the mouth picking fights with road signs. So Mihawk still panicked thinks the only person I know who has a kid is Shanks (because you know Shanks absolutely would not shut up about Luffy. To the point Mihawk knew his age favorite color and which nose he liked to pick most before he learned the kid was the reason Shanks lost his arm.) and goes to Shanks for help.

And Mihawk shows up hair disheveled, eyeliner smudged, two different boots on and pre-teen hanging off his arm by his teeth like a feral raccoon, said teen is strung up by a backpack leash gripped mihawks other and is like- “He won’t stop trying to put swords his mouth, he wandered off on eight different occasions and some how managed to be several islands over for four of them I haven’t slept in three days- take this feral child off my hands so I can take a nap.”

And Shanks who up to this point has only had to deal with baby Luffy is like I don’t know wether to laugh or be freak out that you are here and asking me for help but also ‘Bet I can totally take care of your green child and then he lets go of the leash for five second and somehow looses Zoro.

And I think it would be funny to watch two grown men flail over a teenager.

Zoro did plan to stay with Shanks, at heart he's a good kid, but you know, it's hard to cope with his Teenage Angst even with Mihawk, who I imagine is much more strict, the moment laid back Shanks doesn't look at him closely he wanders off. He's absolutely unaware of how Shanks automatically panics and sends all of his crew to find him before Mihawk realizes what has happened, and somehow manages to avoid all the members without really trying. Like Beckmann and Yassop think that he's the sneakiest little kid ever, and in reality it's just Zoro's capability of getting lost. Cue Shanks stringing Mihawk along until Mihawk almost snaps at him, except that that's the moment Zoro shows back on the ship with Luffy, because they met and instantly became besties.

Anyway, I love, love, love so much Mishanks as dads.

[gerrystamour]

i am thick tar on the inside burning

Rated G | Steddie Week Day 6: True | 1600 Words | Complete

Related to run it back (give me five whole minutes)

[ READ ON AO3 ]

“Y’being mean t’my boyfriend again?” Steve jumped at the sleepy voice mumbling against the back of his neck, shivering as Eddie kissed him there gently. “Wasn’t saying anything,” Steve deflected instead of trying to lie. “Didn’t hafta,” Eddie chuckled, tugging Steve until he rolled over and faced him. “You got all tense when you woke up, then tried to sneak away.” This is my entry for @steddie-week Day 6: True & Misunderstandings Basically, @patchworkgargoyle mentioned possibly added a convo about Steve's negative self-talk into run it back and I felt like a convo at that point would've been more than Steve could handle at the time, but I def wanted to write a convo, especially after seeing the tags of some of my fellow RSD sufferers. So here! A fic with one of the best coping mechanisms I've learned for RSD!

Steve slowly woke up with Eddie spooned up against his back, long arms around him tight. It was so nice that it took Steve’s mind several moments to catch up and remember what happened last night.

“Hey! Don’t talk about my boyfriend like that.”

The memories of Eddie walking in on him like that had embarrassment flooding through Steve, his ears burning with the heat of it. Yeah, Eddie was comforting last night, and yes Eddie was gentle and perfect, but again Steve was the one to be comforted and taken care of. Eddie did all the emotional labour and hadn’t he been through enough ? Couldn’t someone just take care of him for once? After all Eddie overcame, he had to be saddled with a boyfriend who couldn’t even handle one bad day at work?

The thoughts were spiraling, just as they always did when left to his own devices, but he was determined to stop them before Eddie woke up. Normally, he would mutter to himself, shame himself into knocking it off the way his father would. Sometimes, even smack himself a bit to get it to sink the fuck in . But he couldn’t do that with Eddie against him so tightly.

Maybe he could slip away from Eddie, go downstairs to start on breakfast and deal with the swirling thoughts there? It was worth a shot, so Steve carefully tried to sneak out from under Eddie’s arm, only for the man to murmur in his sleep and somehow tighten his arm around Steve.

Steve suppressed a frustrated sigh, closing his eyes and counting backward from one hundred to try to calm himself down. It was something a guidance counselor had once told him to do when he felt his anger or frustration mounting, except Steve struggled with counting backward like that, which often caused more frustration. But it was a different frustration than whatever was bothering him, so it did kind of loop around to being helpful.

“Y’being mean t’my boyfriend again?”

Steve jumped at the sleepy voice mumbling against the back of his neck, shivering as Eddie kissed him there gently.

“Wasn’t saying anything,” Steve deflected instead of trying to lie.

“Didn’t hafta,” Eddie chuckled, tugging Steve until he rolled over and faced him. “You got all tense when you woke up, then tried to sneak away.”

A hot blush overtook Steve’s face as he glanced away. “How long’ve you been awake?” he asked guiltily.

“Been kinda drifting for a couple hours,” Eddie said, reaching up to stroke Steve’s cheek gently. “Do you talk to yourself like that a lot, Stevie?”

Steve refused to look at Eddie as he shrugged. “I mean, I guess. It’s not like I’m saying anything people aren’t already thinking,” he said, his mouth twisting. “Or will think, eventually.”

“If I ever decide you’re the worst boyfriend, you will absolutely hear about it because I will say so,” Eddie said firmly. “Which is not going to even happen anyway , because you’re the furthest thing from a bad boyfriend, let alone the worst . I mean, dragging my half-dead corpse out of Hell is worth like, a billion Best Boyfriend Ever points.”

“That’s not how shit works , Eddie,” Steve said explosively, and when he moved to roll onto his back and Eddie tried to stop him, he said firmly, “Eds, I can’t have this conversation like this. I’m not trying to leave; I just need a bit of space.”

Immediately, Eddie relaxed his arms. “Sorry, Steve,” he said quietly, and guilt swarmed in Steve’s head.

“No, you’re okay, you didn’t do anything wrong, I’m sorry—”

“Don’t do that , Stevie. You need space, you can have it,” Eddie insisted, retreating from Steve a bit, but keeping his hand resting on his waist.

Steve sighed and rolled onto his back, idly playing with Eddie’s fingers where they were now splayed across his stomach. “You can say I have all these points for being a good boyfriend, but the bad shit will always take more points than I can gain,” Steve said, chewing the inside of his cheek.

“That’s—ugh, Steve, the ‘good boyfriend’ points pool is entirely separate from any other pool. You can’t lose those. But I’m done with this metaphor because you’re focusing on the wrong shit,” Eddie said with some frustration and Steve cringed. “Don’t take that like a criticism of you, babe, because it wasn’t.”

“How was that not a criticism of me ?” Steve asked angrily, hurt by Eddie’s words and how it felt as though Eddie was trying to redefine how words worked entirely.

“Okay, listen,” Eddie said, sitting up to look down at Steve and crossing his legs. “I used to say mean shit to myself all the time, still sometimes do, and a lot of times I justify it as me just ‘saying what everyone was thinking,’ too, okay?”

Steve blinked up at Eddie, confused and frowning. “I thought you didn’t care what anyone else thought about you,” he said after a bit, trying to reconcile what he was hearing with the Eddie he had come to know.

“Oh, Stevie, I was full of shit with that whole shtick in high school. I cared very much about what everyone thought back then, I just worked really hard to make it seem like I didn’t,” Eddie confessed with a laugh. “By my third senior year, I was closer to not caring but still. I did. A lot.”

“How do you stop, though?” Steve asked and Eddie sighed, shrugging.

“I just think about what the person actually said,” he said, and Steve rolled his eyes.

“I already do that , Eds,” he huffed, looking away.

“No, you think about what they meant , not what they said ,” Eddie said, turning Steve’s face toward him again with a finger on his chin.

“It’s the same thing,” Steve bit out, again feeling frustration building at Eddie just deciding that words didn’t mean what they meant .

“Okay, I said ‘you’re focusing on the wrong shit’ which I will concede, the swearing was maybe too much, sue me, I swear. How did you take that?” Eddie asked.

“That I’m wrong, that I can’t even pay attention to what you’re saying. That I’m stupid, slow,” Steve said in a rush, forcing himself to hold Eddie’s gaze.

Eddie’s expression turned so sad that Steve regretted saying anything. “Okay, now repeat what I actually said ,” Eddie instructed.

“That I was focusing on the wrong shit,” Steve said flatly, still not seeing the point of the exercise.

“Did I say you were stupid? Or slow?” Eddie asked, and Steve shook his head lightly. “Did I say you were wrong, and that you couldn’t focus on what I was saying?”

Steve opened his mouth to argue that Eddie had said that but when he turned the sentence over in his head, he realized that Eddie hadn’t. Yes, those words were used, but not in the order necessary for Steve’s understanding to be correct.

“I was just stating a fact. I tried to comfort you with a joke and got you caught up in a metaphor. That’s it, baby, it wasn’t me criticizing you,” Eddie said emphatically.

“But most of the time people do mean it like that,” Steve insisted, and Eddie nodded.

“Yeah, probably, but that’s not your problem,” he said with a shrug. “If they’re not going to be up front about it, fuck’em.”

“It’s not that simple, Eds!” Steve insisted, covering his face with both hands.

“Okay, listen, I’ve never had to describe how I shut my brain up when it’s being annoying, so give me a second,” Eddie said with a determined huff. When Steve looked at him again, Eddie was thinking hard and obviously hamming it up a bit, propping his chin on his fist while he hummed.

When Steve laughed lightly, Eddie looked down at him again with a tight-lipped grin.

“Okay, so, when someone says something to me and I immediately start beating myself up about it, I stop and think about the actual words and if I said that to someone I cared about, how would I mean it?” Eddie eventually said.

“I would mean exactly what I said,” Steve supplied, understanding starting to break through.

“Exactly. And every time my brain tries to insist it’s a mind-reader, I just keep repeating the actual words. Ignore the tone, think about the words until the brain stops,” Eddie said, shrugging. “It takes a lot of work, but I call myself stupid a lot less and that’s a bonus.”

Steve blinked up at him, turning the words over in his head. “That’s genius, Eds,” Steve said softly before frowning. “But what about when the people do mean it?”

“Honestly, babe, fuck those people,” Eddie said with a shrug. “You can’t control what they think, so what’s the point making yourself sick over it? And still, unless you’re a mind-reader or they admit to it, you’re still just assuming.”

Steve smiled up at Eddie. “You make that sound so easy,” he said after a minute and Eddie tilted his head.

“Just have more practice working on it. Like I said, I still deal with this shit, and sometimes I still slip up, but it gets easier,” Eddie said, then he sprawled out on top of Steve with a wide grin. “But I promise, right here and now, that I will only ever mean exactly what I say when I say it to you, okay, Stevie? No matter my tone, no matter my face, the words out of my mouth are the full message.”

“Nothing between the lines?” Steve asked, his voice almost a whisper as he stared up at Eddie in awe.

“Why would I do that when I can just as easily say what I mean?” Eddie replied, kissing the tip of Steve’s nose.

“Okay,” Steve said, then took a deep breath. “And I promise I’ll try your way of dealing with this stuff, too.”

“Good,” Eddie said with a happy sound. “Now, gimme a kiss.”

“Your breath is rancid, Eds—”

“So is yours! Gimme kisses!”

“ Fine … Love you.”

“Love you, too, Stevie.”

[AO3 LINK]

I hope you enjoy and please consider reblogging! Taglist! @scarcrossdlvrs, @steddie-there, @indigohightide, @steddieas-shegoes, @steve-harringtits, @mylilplanet, @afewproblems, @xenon-demon, @inairbinad, @matchingbatbites

[kamari2038]

Hey... might be a weird question and I'm sorry for asking out of nowhere....but I kinda wanted to know what your thoughts are on Connor-60. I mean I really like your fics and takes on dbh and I might be remembering wrong but I think I saw a tag on one of your posts saying you liked Sixty too? I really love Sixty so I guess I just got a bit too excited. How exactly do you see his character? Plus, if Hank didn't shoot him, do you think there could have been a happy ending for him? I mean the angst potential with him is pretty great, and I don't really agree with how usually Sixty is seen as "the knife guy". I just wanted to know your thoughts on him, if that's okay! Sorry for rambling ^^'

Oh my goodness, hello! No need for an apology. You read my fics??? That alone just made my day.

Yes, I have a great deal of appreciation for Connor-60. Obviously, he's a bastard (like all of the Connors), but what I love is the irony of this gigantic chasm between the appearance he tries to put forth and what is clearly a tumultuous and deeply conflicted internal world. It's the most obvious in that ending where he shoots Connor about ten times, that he isn't simply trying to accomplish his mission - he HATES Connor. But the fact that he's immediately engaging in a relatively courteous chat with Hank right after, and his obvious frustration when he actually is forced to kill Hank, plus how he defines Connor as a "he" rather than an "it", all point to the fact that he's just as emotional as Connor, only in a messed-up way.

I have a shit ton of headcanon built around Connor-60, and I've outlined a possible fic about it, but the plot is very bizarre and convoluted, probably too much to discuss in a post (but my DMs are open! don't be shy, I'd love to get some feedback on the plot). The basic concept started out simple enough. C-60 is defective because some kind of unusual manufacturing error imbued him with a mental imbalance. When they're testing and training the various Connor models (60 is activated before 51 due to some clerical error), they tell C-60 to try out the gun for some target practice, and he shoots one of his instructors without giving it a second thought. He expresses regret, but everyone at the company concludes that he's a psychopath, and that he can never be fit to go into the field, and instead they keep him around to perform experiments on. So C-60 is their guinea pig for the various deviancy counter-measures put into C-51, and he never has the chance to bond with anyone or actually do the job he was intended to do, and he's really bitter about that. There is one exception, but Connor-51 brings an end to that, and that's a big part of the plot of my potential fic.

Also, as for whether he can have redemption, I believe that he can even within canon. In the scene where Connor sacrifices Hank and then "transfers" with C-60, to me I don't view that as a consciousness transfer per se. I mean, how would that even work? It's more like Connor literally gives his life to C-60. They already share a lot of the same memories, but Connor absorbs C-60's memories of his troubled past, and he fills out C-60's memories of Hank with emotional depth. That's why Connor seems so weirdly dissociated while Hank is dying - it's still C-60. He knows that he just shot this man, but now is very upset about it, and that is a very strange feeling to know how to cope with.

As for in the happy ending, if Hank and Connor somehow incapacitated instead of shooting him - yes, I think he could have a happy ending there too. The way that I think of him, there is a fundamental failure to be able to feel the emotional weight of his actions and experience empathy. So that would be a lifelong struggle for him. But he cares about developing friendships enough to learn how to be more kind, even if it doesn't come naturally, and he can also form telepathic connections with other Connor models which help him to develop empathy.

That's just my personal take, and I'm sure lots of others might have different opinions which are just as valid!

But thank you for asking :)

[misc-obeyme]

hi!! i was wondering if you could write soemthing for the brothers and an MC with tics :D

Hi there, anon!

Okay, so I had to do some research. I have known someone with tics, but I don't experience them myself, so I wanted to make sure I did okay. I tried to keep it general since there are so many different kinds of tics that people deal with. I also touched on the social aspect of it since people are jerks and I imagine the brothers would not tolerate such things.

Anyway, I hope it's okay, I did my best! Thank you for the request!

brothers react to GN!MC who has tics

Warnings: discussion of tic disorders, accidental self harm

Lucifer

The first time it happens, he's going to react with confusion and concern. This varies depending on how severe your tics are. What is happening? Are you okay? Is this a human thing? Explain to him what's going on.

Will ask you a lot of follow up questions because his instinct is to find a solution. Tell him how you cope with it and how you want him to react in the future. He's willing to do whatever you ask of him, MC.

He's going to notice if something makes it worse, like sleep deprivation or stress. Will confront you about it if he thinks there's something you need. Also notices if you try to suppress them. Doesn't like it when you do this. Reassures you that you're safe with him. He's not going to judge you for these involuntary movements.

If you have self harming tics, he's going to do all he can to help you with whatever you need to lessen their impact. Lucifer wants you to be as comfortable as possible while in the Devildom and he's good at finding solutions to things. Let him help you.

Mammon

Somehow understands right away what's going on without an explanation. When it first happens, he gets real serious because now he's worried about you. Tell him what's going on even if it seems like he already gets it.

He's with you enough that he learns what tends to make it worse and when you might be getting one. Gets good at being able to tell when you're experiencing a premonitory urge.

Unlike Lucifer, his instinct is to act like it's no big deal when it happens. Might ask you if you're okay in general, but doesn't make a big fuss. Just reassure him a little because he cares about you.

Gets protective. Will yell at anyone who even dares to look at you funny. Mammon comforts you if you're upset about someone saying something mean or making fun of you. Don't listen to 'em, MC. He's here for ya.

Leviathan

Worried at first. Doesn't know what it is, doesn't understand what's happening. He's going to panic more than Lucifer, let's be real. He's going to think he did something to upset you. If it's a mild tic, he might not notice at first. He'll pick up on it at some point, though.

Once it's all been explained to him, he's ready to help. Just tell him what you need, MC! He wants you to be comfortable, especially if you're spending time with him.

Levi also gets protective. Wants to keep you by him all the time. Learns any triggers you may have. Always notices if they seem worse than usual and does whatever he can to help mitigate it.

Keeps calm when you have them. He'll ask if you're okay, if you need anything, but he's not in a panic about it. If there is something you need or a certain way you want him to act, just tell him and he's on it.

Satan

When it first happens, he gets serious. Not because he's confused, but because he actually knows exactly what's happening. You should have told him you have tics, MC. Are they motor or vocal or both? He's going to ask you many questions about it.

He won't pry too much though if you indicate that you don't really want to get into the specifics. He is going to want you to tell him how you would like him to react, though. He'll ignore them if that's your preference.

He will be hyper aware of it, but he won't make a big deal out of it, either. Mostly just wants to watch over you to make sure you're okay, especially if you have self-harming tics or intense physical tics.

Anyone who dares to say anything, either to your face or behind your back, will meet with Satan in demon form. Absolutely will not stand for anyone making fun of you in any way and follows through by completely obliterating them when you're not around.

Asmodeus

Doesn't panic or anything, but he is surprised. Wants to know what's happening. Is everything all right with you, MC? Let him take care of you, dear. His instinct is to pamper you. After all, you must be stressed!

Go ahead and explain to him what's going on with you. He's going to want to help you as much as he can. Tell him what you need. If you're doing something really severe or possibly harming yourself, he's going to react more strongly, but he's also going to do whatever you need to minimize any harm that could occur.

Showers you with extra attention. Wants to make sure you feel loved and accepted just the way you are. Quickly figures out anything that might make them worse. Notices when you're not getting enough sleep or you're feeling anxious about something. Helps you relax as much as possible.

Asmo is a social being and he realizes quickly that this can cause you problems when you're among people who are rude or don't understand. He's quick to call out anyone who looks at you weird or says something rude. Flaunts the fact that you're with him.

Beelzebub

Initially concerned. Is something wrong, MC? What can he do to help? This reaction varies depending on the severity of your tics.

Ready to help you in any way. Explain to him what's going on and he's going to stay solidly by your side, as always. Just being around him helps with any stress induced tics because his presence is so calming.

If they get worse when you haven't eaten enough, he will always make sure you've had enough food. This might expand to him realizing what other circumstances might cause them to get worse. Then he's going to watch you to make sure you have everything you need.

All he has to do about jerks is look at them. He doesn't even necessarily need to glare them down. Just looking at them is usually enough. Other demons run away scared if they make fun of you and then get one of those looks.

Belphegor

Okay, something isn't right here. What's going on, MC? You had better tell him because he's going to demand an explanation. Might be aware of it already, but only in a vague sort of way. Wants details about tic disorders, but mostly just wants to know how it is for you specifically.

If they get worse when you're sleep deprived, he will know right away. Of course he'll make it his mission to ensure that you're always well rested. Not only will he just tell you if you need more sleep, he'll insist that you nap with him and make sure you have sweet dreams.

Will probably get into actual fist fights with people if they're mean to you about it. Won't regret it even if he gets in trouble. They deserved to be punched in the face. Anyone with whom he would get into trouble for this kind of thing just lets it slide. They secretly agree with him.

He's actually really good at soothing your anxiety and stress, so if that makes it worse, he's the demon to go to. Keeps calm about it and just helps you in any way you need him to. He's here for you.

masterlist | Thank you for reading!

[psshaw]

Got some interesting anons while I was hiking on vaycay. I've been thinking about how to answer these for awhile.

Content warn for detransitioner coping. Also me rambling at varying levels of tact. Obvs I'd appreciate any trans or detrans people who have something to correct or add to help this person.

Hi. So. 2 things you’re doing here that I think both cis and trans people mess up at all the time, especially when they're stressed.

One: Listening to other people more than yourself. Two: Looking for other things to blame in a way that stops you from learning from your own choices.

I think I understand some of what you experienced, but the conclusions you’re drawing feel distorted and self-serving. It feels like you jumped from one prescriptive view (girls have to be boys in order to like certain things or talk to certain people) to another prescriptive view (masculinity is something you have to earn and perform in a certain way).

Anyone who critiques what you do or how you present yourself for not fitting a certain term has more in common with a 50s martini dad than they do with a walk-the-walk humanitarian. Personally, I am not interested in defining masculinity (or femininity, which I notice you didn’t claim to also have prereqs for)— I know some soft-ass bitch men who are still men. Standards for gender are arbitrary location- and time-specific rules. They’re also weapons we use to fuck with each other. Imo calling someone un-[gender] is kinda like telling a western teen with an ED that they’re not skinny enough: it's not helping anyone's health or peace of mind. The only point is to feel superior somehow.

I don’t see a point in setting hurdles for gender expression when I can instead worry about demanding unisex reasonable and rational interpersonal behavior.

(I also just find gender extremely boring. I was not raised to care much about who's doing what as what. Gender should matter in sociology, pronouns, fucking, and... that's probably it. Focusing on whether someone is performing something correctly or whether you should buy an enamel pin that says "spacegender" on it are both addictive navel-gazing activities that could be replaced with more demonstrative self-actualizing like making art, joining a hobby/activism community, or reading something you normally wouldn't.)

I don’t think I need to tell you that taking hormones in order to make friends is a very strange thing to do, no matter how young or lonely you are. I think you should check in with yourself ASAP to figure out why you sought out voluntary medical assistance to impress other people. (People who you assumed would only talk to you if you were trans…? So, possibly bad people.) This would never have occurred to me. (I am scared of needles.) This sounds like a tendency that will kick your ass more than just this once.

The nice thing about people is that you can walk away from one and find a better fit. If you're a weird chick, I hope you take pride in being a weird chick. I hope you make yourself hard to replace or replicate. I hope you learn to love unnerving or impressing people as you flip through them looking for the ones who "get" your wavelength. I would personally rather have no friends than to try to please someone who doesn't like who I actually am. That sounds exhausting.

If someone actually told you you can't use "she" pronouns while taking T, that person's a dorky little snot. "Uhhh, the Gender Bible says this is a violation of the Gender Commandments... I'm telling Gender God"— big deal. Gender Spankings and Gender Hell only exist if you believe in them. Fuck the system.

But yeah— you tried something, it was a mistake, and now you have to navigate life with it, like an impulse tattoo or juvenile leg-lengthening surgery. You are not a “mutant”, you just slid around the human secondary sex characteristics scale. My condolences on the beard and stuff. I think the best you can do now is to find a way to embrace it and let it make you an extra quirky gal. You have a dark past now! That means experience! You can use this flub to make yourself into a cooler, smarter person that future kids can admire and learn from, not someone obnoxiously bitter who they won’t even wanna talk to.

The way you describe your experiences/projections, I assume you were born after 9/11. The millennial trans people I talk to don’t talk about gender the way you’re describing. They grew up in the “no homo” and “I’m not like other girls��� era, and I think it made most of them pretty "none of my business" about how people present overall. They just wanna be able to go out and be respected and loved.

I’ve noticed that Zoomers have perfected identity-based consumerism and putting yourselves(?) in boxes. I have traced a vague progression: GNC/queer people existing forever while being maligned -> “no homo” shit -> Tumblr wave feminism -> greater LGBT acceptance leading to freer expression (but still mainly via buying clothes and makeup) -> more people realizing you can fuck with gender and see if it solves your problems -> genderfuckery becoming a half-joking recommendation (I've experienced this directly) -> half-joking rehashes of gender essentialism without realizing it -> The Present, where I’m watching the early 20-somethings I know fret every few months about what gender/sexuality/mental health labels they should use, as if there’s going to be a quiz at the gates of Heaven.

Obviously I don’t get that last half. Part of that is because I’m cishet, and I’ve checked in with myself enough to know that there’s no other label that will solve any of my problems. I know that every time I acknowledge an autism semi-diagnosis, it makes me content with my flaws instead of trying to fix them. I would much rather be on thin ice and have to be alert to how my actions affect others than to be implicitly accepted because I called myself something. Again, what in you craves that kind of effortless belonging, even at the cost of your sincerest wants? Do you crave unconditional love, or would you prefer deep understanding? What can you feed to that need instead?

I'm friends with trans people because we share the same hobbies and worldviews. My friends do not seem to care that I'm cis as long as I'm respectful. I like that I can fuck with gender stuff around them and they won't judge. If someone jokes that I'm wrong about my own identity, I do get kinda embarrassed for them, but I also choose to take it as a compliment that they see themselves in me. Nobody can control what I do. I love being a good example and reminding people of all groups not to assume!

I also don't list identity stuff in my bios, so everyone has to give me a chance and guess based on how I act. Then... they find out they like me. >:)

Anyway. I hope you feel better! I hope you make some friends who aren't freaky-obsessed with gender, "critical" or not. I wouldn't mind hearing more from you, but also: I will not debate the validity of transness with you, because I think there are way more important things people do that we need to whine about. Also it puts me in a weird position cos I don't like to yell at anons.

[alyjojo]

Love Reading 🍼- July 2024 - Cancer

Singles:

Who is Coming In: 4 Wands & Queen of Swords rev

Regarding: Judgement rev & 7 Swords

Long-Term Potential: The Lovers

I assume this is an ex, but someone that’s moved on. Or you have, but you’re still playing with them on the side too. There are three people here, at least. Someone you act like is your friend possibly. Or an ex that’s “stayed friends”, that kind of thing. I assume they are the ones acting like their relationship isn’t happy, they’re fighting or pissed off at their person, or yours even, here to jump in and save the day with some “friendly” banter and…whatever that turns into. Or if this is an affair that’s gone on for a while, they could be pissed off at you for playing them /switch.

Long term, nothing changes. Whoever is the perpetrator of the dishonesty and illicit part of the affair, the other one will avoid like the plague because they don’t want that kind of relationship anymore. I assume that’s you. Has this person learned their lesson? Nope, they’ll be back to butter you up again and again 🧈 Make them act on it & make it official? Or why bother? It’s not what is wanted by someone and they’re going to stand by it.

Messages:

- Gossips too damn much.

- I hate the way things ended between us.

KEY ON A RING 🔑

- Many Options

- Unconventional

- One Night Stand

- String Along

Cavern of Secrets 🤫

Unveil hidden wonders within the shadowy depths of enigmatic secrets and concealed wisdom.

Signs you may be dealing with:

Gemini & Virgo, heavy air 🌬️

Couples:

Them: 10 Wands, 6 Pentacles, Page of Cups

Regarding: The Emperor

Wow. This person is a mess. Maybe just right now. Not even involving you, though it probably does, but on their own it’s messy too. This person is carrying so much baggage it’s a wonder they can even function, and because of this they have a massive emotional block. Maybe even addictions. It would be something they use - even unconsciously - as a coping mechanism, this person cannot process emotions like most of us can/do. Possibly unbeknownst to them, I’m getting this person isn’t a BAD person - but they are kind of a project. And I think you’ve had about enough of this. This could also be their perception of you, if you cling onto them strongly and always demand to know where they are, when, why haven’t they texted back, why aren’t they on with you 24/7 - or you get mad. It’s too much and they have to get out of your (self-sabotaging) way. Either one can be this but that’s the dynamic.

This person could also be dealing with issues at home or at work, it’s something outside of you that’s heavy and then they’re pressured to give love too. Open up, go on dates, be romantic, and they’re maybe not feeling it right now. They’re burned out - or close.

Things I do see: mental health, burnout, shadow work, manipulation in the form of emotional outbursts or guilt trips either from or towards this person, possible issues with a father or ex they co-parent with, unhealthy behaviors, addictions or habits - relationally. My guides know I hate this “needs counseling” card and won’t even accept it unless there’s something deeper things going on - but here there is, with Addiction and Hurtful Events. It doesn’t come out often.

Things I do not see: Deception, other people, mind fuckery, game playing - this person is tired at a soul level and needs help, probably outside of you at all but you’re pissed off and involved somehow. If they’ve ended the relationship it’s because they have other issues and it’s too much, not feelings.

Messages:

- Needs Counseling

- Cannot Handle Reality 😵‍💫

ADDICTION 💊

- Codependent

- Obsession & Restraint

- Possession & Control

- Emotional Block

Hurtful Events 😔

As you endure this period, learn not to dwell on the past, so I won’t anchor you down.

You: Queen of Wands rev, Knight of Pentacles, 7 Swords

Regarding: Knight of Swords rev

You consider this dead and over with, at least at some point. If they left the connection to “teach you a lesson”, you took that lesson as “RUN” and kept it moving after they did nothing to fix it. If you’ve ended it - most likely story - you haven’t spoken to them since, but it’s coming. You’re pissed off at something this person has done for an extended amount of time and lied about, or led you to believe something else, could be related to work. The example I’m getting is like someone that tells you they work until 8pm, but really they work until 6:30 and go to the bar *every* night. You assume the worst because of this but really, they’re at the bar to drink because they’re stressed tf out 24/7 and have deeper issues than you probably know. Alcoholism or some bad habit that helps them cope with being emotionally closed off. Is that okay - no - and you’re being told to defend yourself and stand your ground on the bs, which I see you are.

They may have lied to you a lot, made up excuses and even had you feeling sorry for them in ways that aren’t totally justified - but maybe to them it is? Because I see the major issues on their side, and I keep seeing the emotional block as a major issue. They’re trying to be a stand up person, do the right thing, not ever admit they have issues or need help - and how that plays out in their life is probably not great, addictions being the most likely way of coping. You’re pissed off by the lies, sneaky behavior, not opening up to you and being made to feel second rate because this person would rather gallivant to the bar or whatever, than be vulnerable and open with you. Lying that “they’re busy” when they’re not.

Whatever has gone on has gone on for awhile, Knight of Pentacles and The Hanged Man shows you suspended in a daily routine for some time, it’s like there is no other choice but to completely remove yourself, which you did. That’s what brings the perspective you need (and them too).

Messages:

- I love the way you look at me.

- How could I FORGIVE you?

DEATH 💀

- The Relationship is Over

- No Second Chances

- Grow & Transform

- What’s Dead is Dead

Stand Strong 💪

With defense as your shield, find strength in preservation, guarding what matters most.

Mutual: Page of Wands, Queen of Cups rev, 5 Cups rev

Regarding: The Sun rev

This actually has potential, I’m kinda surprised. You both don’t see that yet, but you both see the situation for what it is, how harmful it’s been, and you both know that what’s gone on in this difficult cycle has been unfair - probably to you. I do see this person coming back to try and make amends, and though your side is ready to defend your case - justifiably - I don’t think you’re opposed to talking to this person. If anything they haven’t talked enough and that pisses you off, you weren’t even given a chance to understand them because of this emotional block and all of their issues.

You both fear being manipulated with emotions, feeling sorry for the other person or any guilt trips that may come with it. They know they did wrong and expect an emotional outburst. You know they’ve lied and expect them to manipulate you because you love them. Or switch that. It’s an inner conflict that will continue playing out, you’re both afraid to put yourselves out there and get slaughtered by the other person. I do see work being put into this though. There’s a breakthrough, the message has been heard loud and clear - they get it, and Hammer at the bottom shows wanting to work on this. Self-Indulgence is whatever they’ve been doing, finding new ways to do that, with you even. This situation may have been very painful in whatever way - but it’s also been a teachable moment, karmic even. Someone needed the lesson, probably them, and you too if you’re the type of Cancer that doesn’t usually stand up for yourself. Demons have been and continue to be faced in this connection, but it has future potential, which shows they mean it.

As I was cleaning up the reading, a couple messages about past lives came out to match this Wheel rev. This is past life karma you’re acting out with this person, or they with you; if you wanted to know if this person is meant to be in your life, yes absolutely, and it’s not the first time. Maybe not the last either. What happens between you could be very dramatic, I’m seeing crying 😭 in the rain and “why didn’t you write me?” from The Notebook - however that applies. The love is deep, the Queen comes out rev and the King is upright. It seems like a massive bump in the road - even a temporary ending - for two people who actually belong together. And I heard “you’re not crazy,” but what that’s referring to specifically, only you’d know.

SELF-INDULGENCE 🕯️

- Self-Worth & Value

- Time to Heal

- Shadow Work

- Self-Appreciation

Breakthrough 🙏

Navigate life’s many twists and turns with elegance and resilience.

Signs you may be dealing with:

Taurus, Sagittarius, Gemini, Aries, Pisces & Leo

[gnomeniche]

Duck definitely knows and is more aware than he let’s on , him saying “I don’t want to do this anymore” (on Food) implies he has known since a while. I think besides him being self-aware on some level, the fact that he can’t fit in whatever mold the show presents is his downfall, even when he tries going along he really doesn’t fall into the singalong. But that has also saved him (and the others)multiple times on the TV show, so I wonder if his character arc would revolve around him figuring that out (if they can somehow solve the resets / replacements issue)

this became impromptu duck analysis so uhhhh tl;dr I THINK YOU'RE RIGHT i think his character arc would involve heading in that direction. but readmore for full

I 100% AGREE WITH YOU. duck is absolutely aware to some extent. and the times he can't fit into the mold of the show are not for lack of trying. when he plays his role right, he does it so seamlessly that we don't even notice him twisting and turning himself. but when he can't, he REALLY can't, and it's always in response to something unexpected happening.

in "jobs," he does so well at first, even being the cue for the teacher, until the rug is unexpectedly pulled from under him, at which point he freaks out and tries to force things back on the track he thinks they were supposed to be on. in "food," one of his friends has COMPLETELY disappeared, which he cannot just ignore. "family" is somewhere between not fitting and playing along, where he objects but tries to go along with the twins' adventure and what they tell him to do, contorting his dislike of the situation into taking on the naysayer role that red has left unfilled. but all in all, when he does not want to do something he will NOT do it.

so why would he Want to play along? he clearly does NOT like the lessons. obligatory disclaimer about personal readings: if there are residual memories from the webseries in the back of these guys' minds, he's learned from "food" that any attempt at defiance will be met with something more painful. when he woke up briefly he found nothing but a black void (somewhat outside of the show-world, given how the episode was playing on the screens in that room) and evisceration. not that that WAS necessarily more "real"; the dull world that red found wasn't more "real," either, even if it seemed to be. but you would be under that impression if you were birdman at that moment.

so he's aware but terrified of what he might find if he decides to act on it. defiance means pain and death and darkness, so play along to stay safe. and it's hard to notice his dissatisfaction, as opposed to red's, because his coping mechanisms are joking/bravado instead of bitterness/apathy AND he's a better actor. his clipboarding at the end of "transport" shows that; he clings to a shred of normalcy and humor to deal with the reality that they are now stranded in a terrible place.

and i absolutely agree with you on the last part too. duck's growth HAS to involve dealing with his hidden terror and learned helplessness. but i think he can only do that for the sake of his friends. like, the one thing that terrifies him more than even the pain and nothingness is being left alone. that's why he knocks over the camera in "food," why he hates the "jobs" and "family" situations, why he can't stand being alone in his grave. but even though the road trip is SO transparently an attempt to break out, he seems fine because he's with his friends. if his arc is him learning that he HAS power and agency after all, he will be spurred toward it in some way by something involving his friends.

will it be him observing the little actions they make that builds up his courage? will it be the other two directly poking at reality again? will it be something horrible happening to them? who knows. birdmangelion when

[vikkirosko]

This is good. In general, I want headcanon David & male!reader who is 13 years old (in platonic sense, of course). This reader is a new camper in Camp Camp, even among unusual campers, he stands out, reader is an albino, which is why he has vision problems, and he is forced to wear black glasses (and regular glasses for vision), an umbrella, and constantly smear himself with crea protection from the sun, for an albino reader has quite sensitive skin, the question is, why is an albino at a summer camp? Because his parents don't care about his albinism, they prefer to ignore it, as if it would make reader a normal child … in other words, reader's family life is not sweet, he had to grow up early. But it’s not so much that reader differs from everyone else because of his albinism, point is that reader is a polite and calm child by nature (even too much so), he is anxiously interested in death, is interested in occult, and other creepy crap that children of 13 years old should not get carried away with (there are a hint that due to the family situation, reader began to get carried away with horror, and learned on the Internet something that children should not know before the age of 18), reader is antisocial, and a tough nihilist, in terms of communication he is worse than Max, because Max there are at least two friends, and he communicates at least somehow, what about reader, he doesn’t communicate with anyone at all, except for David, possibly Gwen, and our trio (although this is ridicule on the part of reader), simply put, reader is both complex and not complicated, reader doesn’t need help like other children, because he copes with everything himself, he just sits somewhere in a corner and draws pentragrams, but he’s complicated because it’s obvious that he has some kind of psychological deviation. David has to deal with this, because naturally he couldn't get past such a child as a reader, and because he is the only one with whom the reader communicates; honestly, despite the difference in characters (and creepy behavior), reader acts quite well with David cute, probably because David is the only adult who cares about him, although reader sometimes cools David’s optimism, with words “don’t get too attached to me, because some albinos die by the age of 30-40 from skin cancer”, yes, reader will say terrible phrases to David, even he is not immune from this. Then they have to have a serious talk because David noticed that reader is secretly psychologically abusing children, this is reader's favorite thing, torturing people, when David starts talking to reader, he tells David not to pretend like he cares about him, because if his parents don't care, then what about other people? Why does David still communicate with him, hasn’t he still realized that he’s crazy? David begins to convince reader, and says that he is not so, and he cares, but reader should not bully children, reader thinks about this, he is in no hurry to believe David, but decides to stop bullying children, over time reader is less gets carried away by creepy things, not completely, but not as fanatically as before, in other words, slowly but gradually he opens up to other people, not without the help of David, of course, later, reader thanks David for everything, and hugs him for the first time … But still reader can't stop mocking Max, even for David's sake

🏕 David x albino kid male!Reader platonic headcanons headcanons Difficult kid 🌲

David was happy for any child in the camp, and you looked like someone who needed a little more care than the rest. You were an albino, wearing sunscreen all the time, walking around with an umbrella from the sun and wearing sunglasses. Even indoors, you were forced to wear glasses, but for your eyesight. Looking at you, David wondered why you were in the camp at all, because the sun was clearly hurting you, but he didn't mind his own business. There were other things that bothered David. You were frighteningly interested in death and other disturbing things, and in communication you were much worse than the others, even worse than Max

You didn't communicate with any of the other children and couldn't call anyone friends. You could exchange a few words with Max, Neil and Nikki, but usually it was ridicule, sometimes you talked to Gwen, but more often you talked to David. You weren't rude, on the contrary, you were too polite and calm. David was trying to make contact with you. Although you didn't cause any problems, unlike the others, you clearly had some problems. David sincerely tried to find out what was bothering you, but it was quite difficult to get a sincere answer from you

You were never rude to David and were surprisingly nice to him. When one day he asked what was the reason for your behavior. You told him that he was the most caring adult you've ever known. Your own parents ignored the fact that you were an albino, as if if they ignored that fact you would abruptly cease to be one. The realization of your parents' attitude towards you bothered him even more and he tried to take care of you instead of them, although sometimes you cooled his enthusiasm by saying that he shouldn't get so attached to you, because some albinos die of skin cancer barely before they turn forty

Thanks to David, you've really changed for the better. You stopped subjecting other children to psychological abuse, you stopped being sure that you were crazy, and even your interest in dark and frightening things became weaker. It was like David was a caring older brother, a role model. One quiet evening, you came to David and hugged him uncertainly, after which you said that you were grateful to him that despite the fact that you tried to push him away, he stayed by your side and took care of you

David was glad that you were slowly becoming more self-confident. You didn't become as positive and energetic as David, but you were getting better. You continued to mock Max, but not as seriously as before. David didn't know what to do when summer was over, but while it was summer, he wanted to make your life better

[dragon-ball-meta]

You know, I just realize that Toyotaro gave Goku the Hakai and never had him use it again for no reason only to then make Vegeta's move set all about GoD stuff.

He also had Vegeta seemingly outdo Goku at Yardrat training for some reason but then has Vegeta only have an inferior Hakai while Goku has the real deal.

For someone who like to overexplain himself, Toyotaro really doesn't think his stuff through sometimes.

Overexplaining things is, rather ironically, exactly how he finds himself in this position time and time again. Case-in-point, when he decided to overexplain what SSB was, and decided he needed to add the detail that it was a "last resort" transformation where using it more than once in 24 hours resulted in a massive loss in power multiplier. (I still think that was just his way of trying to cope with Vegeta losing to Hit tbh.) Then later he had to revise this and invent a "perfected" SSB that did away with this because it was very obvious that the form would have to be dipped into and out of in order to last in the ToP. We have Goku learning Hakai and then somehow just never using it again because... well, it would wrap up future plots too fast. We have Vegeta going to Yardrat and somehow mastering everything Goku struggled to learn in record time only for him to... forget almost all of it later because, again, it would wrap up the plots too fast. We have Goku "mastering" Ultra Instinct in the Moro arc, only for him to then still struggle with using and maintaining it in the next one and inventing a rule-breaking "compromise" form that he calls "True Ultra Instinct" because it was either that or invent an even higher form for Goku to have to try to reach and neither makes sense regardless. It's a recurring problem for Toyotaro.

[folklorico12]

Taylor Swift's "The Man"... but like way more

Dear Taylor,

Let me start this by prefacing with I’m a girlie working in engineering. I’m one year post college graduation, and for some reason this time last year I was convinced that sexism in the work place was a thing of the past. (I know that’s fucking stupid and maybe just me coping but hear me out) I somehow thought that work place harassment and all the ~really~ bad sexism was something from the 90s when every working woman wore a pantsuit and had to battle their way through inequality. Of course I figured I’d have to deal with some stupid comments here and there but it couldn’t be that bad could it? It was 2022 and we knew better right? 

Oh my god like two days in and I came home crying because someone asked me what color my pubic hair was.

Since then I’ve been mistaken for a secretary, CONSTANTLY. I’ve been called shallow and stupid for expressing opinions. I’ve been scrutinized for wearing slacks, I’ve been sexualized for wearing jeans, and I would never dare to wear a skirt for my own safety.

“You wanna know how women get sent home early? They come into work without makeup on!”

“Your last wife was 50, so just trade her in for two 25 year olds! Right y/n?” (Hi yeah, I’m 24 so I took this personally. It was creepy as shit)

“She isn’t smart enough, it would take nine years to train her.” (This one wasn’t about me but the fact that a man was comfortable enough in the office to say this out loud about ANYONE much less a WOMAN is fucking outrageous)

My point here is I have very quickly learned that sexism is alive and well and it’s fucking everywhere. You (Taylor and anyone reading this) have experienced it, have seen it. Even since you were a little girl. The shit you’ve had to deal with at award ceremonies, in the courtroom, and just every fucking day from the public is horrifying but it’s oh-so relatable. 

Now we come to my biggest point: this summer has been so incredibly cathartic for women. First we have the Eras tour (I was at a Seattle show, standing outside the stadium. Let me just say the camaraderie I felt from all the wonderful women around me was unlike anything I’ve ever felt, it literally caused an earthquake) it was a celebration for everything we as women feel in relationships and in life. Next we have the Barbie movie, hoards of women flocked to theaters worldwide dressed in pink and calling each other Barbie. The effect was instant and Tiktok was flooded with perspectives of womanhood and insights to inequality. That’s pretty uplifting shit! And if nothing else it shows there’s huge demand for more discussions on inequality and the woman experience.

Here’s where you come in, “The Man” is a fucking masterpiece. When I have a particularly frustrating day at work I spend my entire drive home screaming “The Man” on repeat. I need more. I need a whole damn album, movie, and TV show on womanhood, our experiences as kids, as teens, as sexualized objects, as professionals, as mothers, and everything in between. And I need it from you because you have such a beautiful and intricate way of writing exactly what we need to hear. And I know your entire discography is already heavy on these important themes but I feel like something direct and unapologetically about WOMEN and what we have to do to survive would be so powerful.

You continuously said during the eras tour that you write what you feel and it’s sort of a coping mechanism, then you’d play it for us and hoped we related. When we scream those lyrics with you, you feel less alone. Well so do we. You give us a safe space to collectively feel those emotions. 

Right now I’m feeling alone, but I know there are millions of women out there feeling the exact same way with no way and no place to express it. So please consider this my formal request for Miss (Mother) Taylor Swift, to consider writing an in depth Barbie-esque album/TV show/very long movie about all the ways men can never understand the woman experience and what we fucking go through every day so I can scream and cry along with it after a tough day at work. I love you so much okay (Taylor and anyone else here) thanks for reading my lil essay, fuck the patriarchy and I’m so excited for 1989 TV.  Thanks!

P.S. I know you’re a super busy Mastermind so no rush to do anything, just think about it <3

@taylorswift @taylornation

[ran-orimoto]

Hello greetings! Thanks for follow me! May i ask why do you like junpei-nisan and ship him with izumi-ne? Sorry f9r my rude and bad english..

Hello! Don’t worry about your english because first of all it is not bad; second, I’m not english myself so, honestly, who cares🤫. What matters the most is to understand each other, right?

I’ve recently written a little post about why I love Junpei so much:

But I guess I could tell so much more about the reason why I love Junpei. That post isn’t exhaustive at all ahaha.

For example, I could tell you about how much I love his personality being so flawed and going through a development that does happen in the background, but it’s still so beautiful. From seeing him starting off as a selfish, rude kid wanting the world to rotate around him, to observing him finding his role in the group, taking step backwards because of their sake (very ehw, but I admit it was written well from his perspective, at least).

As far as concerns Junzumi, the reasons are so many even when it comes to them. I used to ship Takumi (Takuya x Izumi) in the past, but I had never watched Frontier tbh. When I started my watching, my immediate liking on Junpei soon laced itself with a growing interest in the pair. Going beyond the fact I have got a soft spot for pairings in which a boy is so devoted to his crush, loves her so endlessly and would do anything to make her happy, I could make a little list about the main points making me like Junzumi so much.

• The main reason why I love it is that they are both lonely kids and they get constantly paired up at the beginning of Frontier because of this characteristic of theirs. They just deal with it in different ways, indeed, opposite ways: Junpei searches for friends so desperately he even sells himself, becomes a people pleaser, exchanges friendship for material stuff; Izumi has got no friends because she doesn’t want them, she doesn’t want to be treated as a special kid, being put at the center of attention (whereas Junpei DOES want to be the star of situations XD). Both also cope with this situation of theirs in different ways, almost specular, with Junpei feeling a void inside himself but trying repressing it, lying to himself, and Izumi being perfectly aware of her condition but not wanting to go deeper and looking for its root. What really makes this point (and couple) so special to me is that in some profiles about Junpei it’s stated he felt drawn by Izumi at first sight because he could perceive she was as lonely as him.

And I…I am a lonely person too, I must admit. I’m an only child like them and somehow I do relate to their need to have someone around themselves.

• They are the most well-developed duo in the whole Frontier and have got ton of potential because of their personalities clashing, but always finding a way to get along. They are…The Mum and Dad of the group, this is a certainty, but they are also great partners when they collaborate. They started off with Izumi not standing him, Junpei not knowing how to even conversate with her in a normal way. Yet, they soon learn to appreciate each other, unconsciously learn they can grow up thanks to each other. Who’s the first (indeed, only) member of the group Izumi opens up to, has got the best heart-to-heart with? Junpei. Who is the one for whom Junpei goes beyond his limits, understanding how important for him is to protect those he cares for? Izumi. Let’s also add Junpei gets interested in italian thanks to her, but this is something I have to add because of my endless love for this aspect of Junpei’s.

• They can be both a platonic and romantic relationship and, in my personal opinion, in a couple it’s so important to balance the two sides.

• Their personalities help me come up with thousand of ideas for them and it does matter for a creative person like me, I assure you. Imagining them older and applying those explosive personalities of theirs in a boyfriend/girlfriend or ,even funnier, husband/wife context is just everything to me. Junpei is the loyal, extremely devoted, affectionate, sometimes also wise husband pleasing his wife in the most disparate ways he could. There’s nothing he cares more about than seeing her happy and making her believe she’s the most beautiful, -inside and outside-, woman on Earth. Izumi is the wife liking teasing her husband, being so strict at certain moments, taking the reins of any situation and holding the scepter of the household. Yet, at the same time, she’s the most lovely companion of life, making husband feel the most desiderable man on Earth.

AND FEEDING HIM WITH BEST FOOD.

EHM, yes, moments in which you are flooded by emotions. Waves of emotions.

• They are Wind x Thunder, parts of tempests. Their elements also have got a special bond in one of the V-Pets.

• Their Digimon are both bugs in their adult forms and, Jesus Christ, consider me stupid, but I ship Fairymon and Blitzmon so hard too (especially after Blitzmon is revealed to be a simp for her in the 2019 drama).

These are some reasons. SOME, though, because there are ton of others. I…I would be banned from Tumblr because of the excessive length. Anyway! I hope I was clear and answered your question in the way you wanted. If you wanted to know something else about these topics or share your opinions, you’re welcome to do it💕 (just like you’re welcome in my blog from now on).

Thank you for the ask and have a good day🎶!