#chang jiahan

[cinnaminyoons]

Hi Jun, how are you ?

So after reading your ‘Summer Caesura’ fic with Jungkook x m!reader for the 50th time, I finally decided to check out the movie which inspired you and omg… it changed me for life. I was bawling my eyes out like crazy and now I’m gonna think of Jiahan and Birdy for months. Thanks to you I found a new favorite movie. 🤍

yooo no way!! i'm gonna be honest i haven't actually watched it; i just read the wikipedia entry lmao. cool that you liked the movie though, it sounded pretty good from the synopsis :)

thank you for reading it so much <3 it's pretty long and i worried that it wasn't worth the word count, but it was a fun journey.

i'm struggling through a heat wave atm lol. i never realised how much i appreciate fans and blackout blinds--they help so much with blocking the heat. other than that, i'm good! hope you're doing well :)

[zhuhongs]

Ever since I watched Your Name Engraved Herein two weeks ago, I have wanted to talk about Jiahan as whole but in particular this scene right here that starts around the 40 minute mark. 

CW’s: discussion of religion, internalized homophobia, violent homophobia, choking, and lack of consent. Generally, the same cws as in the movie. 

Read more bc it’s uh.. 2.7k

all images are described in alt text

As soon as I watched this scene I just knew it had to be really significant and now rewatching YNEH, I realize that this is a major ideological turning point for Jiahan as a character. From this point on he slowly begins to accept that he’s gay and starts to consciously act on his feelings for Birdy. However, I must first add some context and insights on Jiahan’s prior behavior before I dive into this scene as a whole. At the beginning of the movie, we see that while Jiahan feels different from the rest of his roomates, he still sneaks out with them when they go hook up with girls, despite not showing any interest in the girl he’s with. He feels very different from the rest of his friends, but still goes along with them due to peer pressure. Later, he tries to dissuade them from violently hazing the gay student, Xie Zhenhong, (his name is never said in the film but it says so on his uniform shirt, and that what I’ll refer to him as for the rest of the post) but is reluctantly influenced to gang up on the student as well. He closes his eyes while he’s about to strike the bat down on the student, until Birdy rescues the student-- and Jiahan in a way-- from what is about to play out. After this, his friends accuse him of being in the same stall as Birdy (which he was) but he denies it, not wanting to explain why he was there and the ensuing taunting from his friends.

 While its obvious that Jiahan has feelings for Birdy, he isn’t confident enough to pursue them outright. Birdy is the more confident one in both their friendship and in his sexuality, not caring about how anyone perceives him and does what he wants regardless of the consequences. Jiahan is the one worried about societal stigma and goes along with things he doesn’t want to do. However after this encounter with the gay underclassman pictured above, Jiahan become more brave and honest about his feelings towards Birdy. Interestingly enough in the scene directly after this, Birdy begins to conceal his true feelings for Jiahan and pursue a straight relationship with Banban. He doesn’t do this hurt Jiahan, as he does reciprocate Jiahan’s feelings, but to discourage him from coming out and becoming a social pariah for being gay. Birdy himself doesn’t mind being an outcast, but he does not want to see the same thing happen to the one he loves. So instead of letting Jiahan do that, he tries to discourage Jiahan from ever pursuing him by getting a girlfriend and suggest Jiahan does the same. In the same day, both Jiahan and Birdy come to opposite realizations about their feelings for the other, thereby changing their dynamic for the course of the movie. Someone else has picked apart Birdy’s scene in their own post. If you haven’t read that analysis, please go read it, because its really good at explaining Birdy’s character since most of his story isn’t directly revealed to us. We must read inbetween the lines and piece it together, which can be confusing on a first watch.

Anyways, now we can focus on Jiahan. At this point in the movie, Jiahan is trying to understand why he’s upset that Birdy is showing interest in a girl in their band while dealing with his own internalized homophobia and denial over his sexuality. He then turns to the only out gay person he knows -- Xie Zhenhong, who he sees in the cafeteria with new bruises on his face. He looks at Jiahan with a smile. This makes me feel like Zhenhong probably picked up on Jiahan and Birdy’s feelings for each other since last year, when he saw them exit the same stall in the bathroom. Having been the Distinguished Out Person in a group before, I can definitely relate to the way Zhenhong reacts to Jiahan. It the typical “oh honey, you don’t realize it yet, but I know you’re gay” reaction. 

 Jiahan waits outside the cafeteria and calls out to out him from behind. At first Zhenhong ignores him as we can see that he smirks a bit when he first speaks. He definitely heard Jiahan but doesn’t answer him until he repeats himself a few times. Zhenhong purposely stops when the two are in front of the stained glass window, away from others. Jiahan’s word choice towards Zhenhong is also interesting as he addresses him as “學弟” which is a term for an underclassman. To my understanding, it’s not overly formal nor is it overly familiar, however it is the nicest way that anyone has addressed him all movie. Jiahan than asks him who gave him those bruises, showing concern for his well being. He then reveals why he stopped Zhenhong saying “Actually I want to ask you, when did you start liking boys?” This really seals the deal to Zhenhong that Jiahan is talking to him to try and sort out his own feelings towards Birdy. While his suggestion that Zhenhong perhaps “see a doctor” or “consider getting a girlfriend” read as a microaggression to most viewers, Zhenhong himself can tell that Jiahan is asking him this in good faith. And perhaps, this might be the most understanding anyone has been towards him since Birdy helped him out prior. Before he responds, he looks up at Jiahan and fixes his bangs. This all stumps Jiahan whose eyes dart around, speechless. Zhenhong then circles his arms around Jiahan’s neck, a very intimate gesture, and studies him for a moment. We cannot see Jiahan’s face at this moment but he does shuffle slightly, his body language nervous and confused, but not upset. After looking at him, Zhenhong then goes in closer, assumedly to kiss him. At this point, Jiahan physically stops him and grabs him by the throat. However, Jiahan’s face doesn’t seem to be angry, if anything, his face looks more scared and confused-- akin to a ‘what are you doing?’ moment.

Initially Zhenhong’s choice to kiss Jiahan read very...strangely to me. Why would the screenwriter, as a gay man that grew up in the 80’s, choose to include this? What was there to gain? To me it seemed like it was reinforcing the stereotype of gay men being overly flirtacious and viewed as predators. Why show a nonconsentual attempted kiss at all? I thought about it a lot, both for this scene and the following one with the old man and later between Jiahan and Birdy because it seemed?? Odd to me?? Isn’t that a disservice in representing gay men? I don’t fully have the right answer but I feel like by writing the scene like this, it goes to demonstrate how Jiahan still isn’t fully comfortable with being gay. And also that lgbt people, especially teens, aren’t always going to be good rep. Liu Kuang-hui wasn’t writing the movie to be an perfect, morally uplifting, santized gay narritive. He was writing something that spoke to his real life experience as a gay man in 1980’s Taiwan. In real life, people do questionable things and good narratives are supposed to make you question characters and their actions and judge for yourself whether what they did was right or wrong. The narrative isn’t looking to condemn Xie Zhenhong for doing this. Xie Zhenhong is ultimately a victim of violent homophobia, that will not hide himself or his sexuality despite the violence he faces. He isn’t perfect, nor is Jiahan, nor is Birdy, nor is anyone in the film. 

Although now having rewatched this scene upwards of eight times in writing this, it feels like Zhenhong didn’t assume this action to be without consent. Of course, no words were explicitly exchanged about kissing, and I’m not trying to make the case that it’s okay to kiss someone without their consent, that’s harassment. However, Zhenhong did gave Jiahan time to express his discomfort before proceeding. Zhenhong first got close to Jiahan by brushing his bangs, Jiahan did not say anything or look visibly uncomfortable. He then put his arms around Jiahan’s neck, and stared at him for a good ten seconds. At this point, Jiahan had time to say he was uncomfortable. As we know it, consent does indeed entail a verbal, understood yes from both parties. However given the context, I can understand why Zhenhong thought that Jiahan was consenting at that moment. However the moment Jiahan revoked his consent Zhenhong stopped trying to kiss him. Zhenhong shouldn’t have gone in without getting verbal consent, and Jiahan could’ve done something other than grabbing him by the throat. They were both in the wrong. Violence shouldn’t have been the reaction, nor should’ve kissing someone without their verbal consent. The lines were very blurred, and proper communication could’ve resulted in a better interaction but like I mentioned above, I don’t think the writers wanted to portray the scene in that way. The intent was not to say that Zhenhong’s actions were romantic or something to emulate. It was very purposeful in showing to interplay of homophobia, gay desire, and religion.

The scene is set up like a religious confession. Zhenhong purposefully leads Jiahan to the stained glass, a metaphor for his religious guilt. He doesn’t look Zhenhong in the eyes, his voice is hushed, and body language nervous, and troubled-- it communicates to Zhenhong that he thinks he may be gay and wants either reassurance that he isn’t or acceptance that is. Regardless, it’s a very vulnerable and intimate moment. Jiahan is facing him like ‘hey, I know my friends were bullying you and I wanted to save you but was too much of a coward and almost took part in harming you. I’m sorry. I know you saw that me and Birdy were in the same stall together, and that you saw me just telling him not to talk to the girls, and neither of those are heterosexual things to do. Please, help me.’ He’s asking Zhenhong to pass judgement on him, is he gay or not? By virtue of even asking that question, they both know the answer -- Jiahan is in love with Birdy, but whether Jiahan can accept that or not is up to him. In a way, Zhenhong is testing Jiahan to see how honest he can be with himself. By approaching him like that, he’s testing to see whether Jiahan can accept being intimate with a man or not. It’s not a good or ethical test, but it sure is effective. Because in his head, Jiahan is coming to realize that he doesn’t mind a man being close to him in a romantic way. Although, he isn’t fully there yet. He still grabs Zhenhong. But as Zhenhong stares at him despite the hand around his throat, Jiahan really has to think about his actions. Is that what he really wants to do, or is that what he’s been taught to do? It illustrates his internalized homophobia perfectly. Jiahan is literally staring gay desire in the face, rejecting it, while in front of his religion. Zhenhong finally answers Jiahan that “he has always loved boys since he was little, it’s never changed.” Upon hearing that his grip loosens and he pulls away. And the fact that we can hear him well means that Jiahan was never choking him, his hand was there, but not gripping. Zhenhong pulls him in closer and tilts his head, and says “and it never will.”  Zhenhong’s words are very deliberate. It’s as if he anticipated this might happen and knew exactly what to say. He wants to carve it in Jiahan’s brain that no one chooses to be gay. They always are and no amount of denial, like the kind Jiahan is showing, will change that. He then finally lets go of Jiahan, who is speechless, he thanks him, and leaves. Jiahan, however, stays there for a second, processing everything that has happened, and breathes heavily before the scene cuts to later that day.

Finally, I would like to examine exactly what Zhenhong’s “thanks” even means. Why would Zhenhong be thanking Jiahan? On the surface, it lookslike Jiahan waited for this guy to finish eating, then asked him invasive questions about his sexuality and suggest he should get help and then almost choked him. This should count as a microagression at best and an attempted hate crime at worst. But, as I just dived into, this wasn’t a bad faith jeer by Jiahan in order to bully Zhenhong, this was a genuine cry for help made by a deeply confused teenager. I feel like the “thanks.” at the end of the scene was perhaps just as puzzling to me as when I thought about why the staff would have that scene play out like that in the first place? I think his thanks is conveying many things. Firstly, thanking him for not actually hurting him and allowing him to have a semi normal interaction with a student of the same gender. As far as we know, many,  MANY different students have tried to hurt him in the new semester alone. Hell, we literally do not even know his name as everyone refers to him by the q slur or some other derogatory term, which speaks a lot to how he is treated. He also may be saying thanks for actually asking him about his sexuality. While Jiahan still followed it up with a suggestion he see a doctor, he still genuinely wanted to know why rather fully assume he has something wrong with him. Also, I feel like he might be thanking Jiahan for being brave enough to actually confront his sexualtiy and ask Zhenhong for help in the first place. Zhenhong really seems to be alone as the only gay student at the school but now knowing that Jiahan is realizing thathe’s gay as well, might make him be hopeful that things may slowly begin to change. Sadly, this interaction is the last time we see Xie Zhenhong all film which sucks because I really liked him. And I feel like it would’ve been really nice to see him after the time skip or at least have Jiahan mention him because this moment was one of the things that really made Jiahan start to accept his sexuality. A cut scene with Father Oliver also contributed, but I really wish Xie Zhenhong got more narrative than being the only out student that was then violently bullied. But, I acknowledge that MANY scenes were cut from the film for length so I can’t complain to much.

Oh god, that was a lot to say about a scene that was literally a minute and thirty seconds long. In conclusion!! I just had a lot of things to say about this scene and the scenes surrounding it. I think Jiahan is just a very painfully relatable character for many LGBT viewers and he was incredibly relatable for me which is why I felt the need to spend my day off writing this as opposed to doing homework. This scene is incredibly rich on many levels and I really appreciate YNEH as a whole for not spoonfeeding the viewer information and letting us interpret and question the scenes on our own and come to our own conclusions about the characters and yea. There’s so much going on and a lot of nuance and idk how to properly convey a lot of my thoughts but I tried really hard bc i really do love this movie. I really was puzzled by this scene at first, but now having examined it, it is my favorite scene in the movie. If this scene was changed in any way to make it more palatable, it would’ve been nearly as impactful which was a hard decision to come to, but I stand by it. I don’t know if I feel the same about other scenes but I will be reviewing YNEH as a whole in a different post. I have much more to say but my thoughts on this scene were far too long to not make it a separate post of its own. In essence, YNEH is about growing up and accepting yourself in all ways. Not all of those things are pleasant but if you cannot accept those things about yourself, you’re doomed to be miserable until you can live life unburdened by your own and societies limitations. Goodnight, my fingers hurt.

[miraenbi]

Your Name Engraved Herein (2020)

[dicotomias]

.your name engraved herein

eu estava reassistindo Your Name Engraved Herein e ponderando sobre o meu fascínio pelo cinema e seus fundamentos. principalmente em como a composição, posicionamento dos personagens e o bom enquadramento podem dizer tanta coisa sem o uso de uma palavra sequer.

essa cena acima, por exemplo, num meio de tantas outras principais mais significativas para o longa, é uma das minhas preferidas apesar de ser tão curta. e vou dizer o porquê.

nesse ponto do filme já sabemos os reais sentimentos e conflitos dos personagens principais e essa composição de cena resume tudo! temos o chang jia han, observando birdy/wang po-te jogar por detrás da banban. como uma sombra. escondido, negligenciado.

em um jogo sútil de chiaroscuro/claro-escuro, temos banban do lado esquerdo em primeiro plano, iluminada e jia han no lado direito, obscuro. nessa composição a própria personagem foi usada como objeto de iluminação, ofuscando e sombreando jiahan. exatamente como ele se sentia.

mas o que essa cena nos diz? sabemos que se jia han fosse a banban ou simplesmente uma garota qualquer, ele poderia estar ali, em primeiro plano, apoiando wang po-te e poderia também estar total intitulado como namorado de birdy.  

se ele fosse a banban, se ele fosse uma garota, talvez o amor deles fosse mais fácil de viver. talvez o amor deles fosse... possível.

essa cena realmente diz tudo pra mim, sumariza todos os conflitos, tensões, dores e temores. jia han no plano de fundo, esquecido e escondido, como uma sombra. a própria composição da cena, com essa simples barra de ferro atuando como uma prisão ou limite/barreira.

barreira como se ele estivesse à margem, separado, segregado do que é normal e aceitável. a atuação de edward chen também diz muito numa cena tão breve, mas nada objetiva, repleta de nuances. você vê tristeza, frustração, traição (em relação a birdy e banban), exaustão. exaustão por ter seu amor escondido pelas sombras.

essa cena é fantástica e se tornou uma das minhas favoritas do longa (essa é a razão dessa thread, não poderia deixar esses meus sentimentos para com ela guardados só pra mim).

Your Name Engraved Herein é um filme espetacular num geral. mas quando você assiste novamente e percebe os pequenos detalhes, principalmente das cenas sem diálogo, a imagem, a composição diz tudo, te suga, te comprime, esmaga o seu peito em angustia e dor. é uma obra de arte.

e essa cena em específico me doeu muito porque eu me vi nele. me vi no jia han, por isso se tornou minha preferida entre outras cenas implícitas.

assistam Your Name Engraved Herein. vale muito a pena.

[whisperintoearth]

by the occasion of listening to the your name engraved herein ost obsessively once again, i just need to rave about this movie because everyone is so quiet about it. 

seriously, there’s this story about two men in the era just after taiwan lifted martial law in a society that’s rapidly changing, more free but still incredibly stifling and there’s this innocence and excitement of discovery and joy and insecurity that’s there but also an incredible rigidity. they can’t fight for them. THEY CAN’T FIGHT FOR THEM. it’s not a realistic option and they both hurt. and they both love each other. it’s evident in how they act and what they say and what they don’t say and in what they do (plus the deleted scenes, i need a director’s cut!!!). birdy loves jiahan but instead of choosing to fight for them to be together like jiahan wants he instead pushes them both to fit the standard of who they’re supposed to be. and that’s as valid of a decision as jiahan’s and THAT’S WHAT MAKES IT HURT SO BAD. 

even after trying to push away jiahan away continuously, he still evidently likes him being close and loves him. the scene on the cliff side, he lets them have this joy and he lets jiahan kiss him but right afterwards he draws the line again. this is birdy specifically loving this man but he has decided what would be best for him and knows pushing jiahan is the only way he will back off, because jiahan was ready to try. he’s cruel in the way he abruptly and completely rejected jiahan but also kind and benevolent in his intentions with it. and the phone booth scene, the last contact before endless separation, the absolute pain that emits from both of them. they both know birdy’s situation doesn’t fulfill him, and they deeply love and ache for each other, but all they can do is listen to this song, which is essentially jiahan telling birdy that he still deeply loves him and doesn’t regret it, is still waiting on him, and doesn’t even blame him for his decision, he just hurts because he WAS ready to completely give up on everything to be with birdy. and birdy wasn’t, and now he’s alone. and birdy is as well. but he chose this, because what choice did this man really have. 

and god when they meet again. i love the time skip. the whole atmosphere breathes freedom and easiness. being allowed!! they’re allowed. they see each other for the first time in a queer bar, and just that tells us how far they’ve both come, casually visiting such a place, and it tells us how far the world has come, making space for them two, finally. coming to see their former teacher’s grave half across the world. a man who tried his best to guide these children with what he was taught while also allowing them more freedom and understanding than anyone else, while also stifling this part of himself he saw in them because that’s what he thought was right. i’m glad he left the church and found someone, in the end.

when birdy tells jiahan he really loved him. there is a weight in those words of everything that happened and the decades in between them. there is also the motion of breathing out, of hearing that said on the street in the night, but not hiding, not anymore. and there is a sense of injustice in it for jiahan, of only hearing it now, of only being sure after so many years, after he’s been through so much. after a life time of being alone.

and god, what makes me cry the most is them getting to carefully know each other again, to go over their wrongs and their past, but also this hesitant sense of playfulness and happiness. of easy joy. they’re allowed now!! they can!! and birdy, after a wife and a kid, he’s here now. still somewhat hesitant but he is ready. 

and i can’t blame birdy, of a child who was afraid and dismissive because he was scared and saw it as the only option of getting jiahan to back off. and i don’t blame him for not wanting to fight such a huge fight. the whole movie carries this sense of hurt, of lost time and bitterness, of helplessness and the quiet violence, but also this slight relief, the final possibility of all that changing and having changed. they’re clumsy in the possibility that they can, now. jiahan definitely, i think. and i think birdy is ashamed somewhat, still holding himself back, but there’s just this sense of definiteness that they WILL now. 

[yanqings]

My only deduction which I’ve previously said is that 1) he chose to have that engraved as a sign that jiahan changed his life and was the one to guide him and not the other way around and 2) only jiahan and now father oliver (probably, as well as his partner) knew the real person the song was dedicated to, and it was a way to be truthful of who he was, if only to a few people. But those people are the ones that mattered to him, so who cares about the rest?

it could also just be an easter egg of sorts but everything that the director did in this movie was purposeful so it isn’t best to assume it’s there just to be clever

[esportsrush-blog]

The International 2018

Post URL - https://esportsrush.com/the-international-2018/

The International 2018

The International starts on Tuesday, 14th August 2018 and ends on Sunday, 26th August 2018. The tournament will be held in Canada for the first time. As it finds it's new home in the Rogers Arena in Vancouver, Canada

The Direct Invites

Virtus.Pro

Roman RAMZES666 Kushnarev

Vladimir No[o]ne Minenko

Pavel 9pasha Khvastunov

Vladimir RodjER Nikogosyan

Alexei Solo Berezin

Team Liquid

Lasse MATUMBAMAN Urpalainen

Amer Miracle- Al-Barkawi

Ivan Borislavov MinD_ContRoL Ivanov

Maroun GH Merhej

Kuro KuroKy Salehi Takhasomi

Team Secret

Marcus Ace Hoelgaard

Yeik MidOne Nai Zheng

Adrian Fata Trinks

Yazied YapzOr Jaradat

Clement Puppey Ivanov

PSG.LGD

Wang Ame Chunyu

Lu Somnus 'Maybe Yao

Yang Chalice Shenyi

Xu fy Linsen

Yap Jian xNova Wei

Mineski-Dota

Chai Mushi Yee Fung

Kam Moon  Boon Seng

Daryl iceiceice Koh Pei Xiang

Anucha Jabz Jirawong

Michael ninjaboogie Ross Jr.

Vici Gaming

Zhang Paparazi Chengjun

Zeng Ori Jiaoyang

Ren eLeVeN Yangwei

Zhang LaNm Zhicheng

Lu Fenrir Chao

Team Newbee

Xu Moogy Han

Song Sccc Chun

Damien kpii Chok

Hu Kaka Liangzhi

Zeng Faith Hongda

VGJ.Thunder

Liu Sylar Jiajun

Liu Freeze Chang

Zhou Yang Haiyang

Pan Fade Yi

Leong ddc Fat-meng

The Qualified Teams

Europe - OG

Anathan ana Pham

Topias Topson Taavitsainen

Sébastien 7ckngMad Debs

Jesse JerAx Vainikka

Johan N0tail Sundstein

CIS - Winstrike

Airat Silent Gaziev

Bogdan Iceberg Vasilenko

Alexey nongrataVasilev

Aleksander Nofear Churochkin

Andrey ALWAYSWANNAFLY Bondarenko

China

Team Serenity

Jin zhizhizhi Zhiyi

Zhang Zyd Quanda

Zhao XinQ Zixing

Xiong Pyw Jiahan

Xiao XCJ Chaojian

Invictus Gaming

Sun Agressif Zheng

Lin Xxs Jing

Sun Srf Runfa

Ye BoBoKa Zhibiao

Fu Q Bin

Southeast Asia

Fnatic Dota

Jacky EternaLEnVy Mao

Abed Abed Yusop

Saahil UNiVeRsE Arora

Djardel DJ Mampusti

Johan pieliedie Åström

TNC Predator

Marc Polo Raven Fausto

Armel Armel Tabios

Samson SamH Hidalgo

Timothy TIMS Randrup

Carlo Kuku Palad

North America

VGJ.Storm

Yawar YawaR Hassan

Roman Resolut1on Fominok

Jingjun Sneyking Wu

Arif MSS Anwar

Avery SVG Silverman

Evil Geniuses

Artour Arteezy Babaev

Sumail SumaiL Hassan

Gustav S4 Magnusson

Andreas Cr1t- Nielsen

Tal Fly Aizik

OpTic Gaming

Per Olsson Pajkatt Lille

Quinn CCnC Callahan

Neta 33 Shapira

Ludwig zai Wahlberg

Peter ppd Dager

South America - Pain Gaming

    William hFn Medeiros

Aliwi w33 Omar

Otavio tavo Gabriel

Danylo Kingrd Nascimento

Heitor Duster Pereira

You can track the current Prize Pool for The International 8 Here, it continues to grow as you read.      

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