#charmed review

[alexandraprivet]

Barbie: Princess Charm School (2011) + letterboxd reviews

[fxnfiction]

presenting: my 2023 year of reading queer literature (part 1).

next few months focus will be on sapphic books, so swing over some recommendations!

enjoy my funky commentary, im in a weird mood. all my opinions!

[kala-basaa]

It’s SDJ merch review time! ❤️💛💙

The lovely @o0-marsarts-0o does it again with some very pretty acrylic charms~ 😌✨

These charms went for pre-order last month in her Ko-Fi shop, marsartstwitter! ☕

If you haven’t already, go ahead and give both her Twitter + Ko-fi a follow! 💕

These charms are sturdy, very colorful, and each guy has a different gold-colored clasp shape! ⭐❤️

Everything came in nicely packaged with not a hint of damage so I get to enjoy them in their perfection~ ☺️💕

The backstage pass charm is something I’ve been eyeing for a long while and it’s just as cool as I thought it would be! 🙌

The details are lovely and the way it looks in the light makes me kick my feet a lil’ hehe~ 🤭✨

Also, cute freebies!! I got some more rainbow charms (with straps this time!) that are going to go pretty much everywhere~ 😌✨ 

And the holo sticker is such a nice little treat! 🍬 

The cowboy hats everyone’s been getting? Well, it belongs to Peepy now. Yeeyee 🤠

It’s clear that so much love and attention went into these charms and the little gifts that came along with it 🧡

Please, please go and support Mars through their Ko-fi if you can (she deserves it!) ☕🫶

[goldensunset]

everyone told me she was terrifying but they didn’t tell me she was so cool and nice

[palmtreepalmtree]

Alright, here it is, the totally unasked for review of Irish Wish from a woman who does not have the time to be doing it but can't stop thinking about it SO HERE WE ARE.

The Worst Movie on Netflix right now is Lindsay Lohan in Irish Wish.

Alright, so if you don't know the premise, I will recap for you. Lindsay plays Maddie, a book editor who has edited a bestselling novel on behalf of this uber wealthy and allegedly Irish dude Paul Kennedy who is a bestseller (whether he was a bestseller before or after Maddie helped him on this, his second book, is unclear, but I refuse to debate it). She has a huge adult lady girl crush on this man, but has not told him yet.

Our movie, such as it is, begins at his book launch where Maddie is girding her loins to try to tell him how she feels---and instead he winds up vibing with her gal pal Emma. FAST FORWARD and Emma and Paul are getting married. And Maddie is miserable and still pining. So she manages to make a wish to a wish-granting (Catholic?*) Saint Bridget that she wishes she were marrying Paul instead. AND THEN HIJINKS ENSUE.

Here's the CRAZY thing -- that there is a world-altering wish granted by some random Irishy fairy/saint is the least logically offensive thing to happen in this insane, inhuman, bizarre series of events that we're calling a "movie."

I mean less than 5 minutes into the movie, Maddie is having a speakerphone conversation with her mom in the bathroom of the book launch where she is openly speaking about her feelings for Paul.

What is she a boomer!? BUT ALSO you hope your mom in fucking IOWA (Jane Seymour, cashing checks) has not told anyone about your feelings for Paul that you are discussing on SPEAKERPHONE in the bathroom AT PAUL'S BOOK LAUNCH!?

Not two seconds later, a pair of extras leave the bathroom stalls and exit the bathroom behind her. And she doesn't react in any concerned way. She does not react at all. Is she not worried about who just overheard her? Is she not embarrassed? Maybe these are friends of Paul who would be interested to know that his Editor has a crush on him!? We are in fact at his book launch!? This is a startlingly weird lack of reaction! Like......... we are less than 5 minutes into this movie and I am already wondering where basic human logic just went. WAS THERE NOT A SINGLE HUMAN PERSON ON SET OR IN THE EDITING ROOM WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A PROBLEM!?

Alright, somehow, I have to get further into this movie than 3 minutes and 55 seconds.

So Maddie's gearing up to tell Paul her feelings and as soon as he sees her, he says he wants to talk to her about something important. And when they sit down together, he takes her by the hand, gazes deeply into her eyes with the sincere, smoldering look above, and says this: I feel like it's time we take our relationship to the next level. And she lights up. CAUSE THIS IS HER MOMENT AND SHE DIDN'T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING OR RISK ANYTHING! But then Paul just asks her to work with him on his next book. And she is devastated.

But here's the thing. WHO FUCKING SAYS THAT!? What man does that? THAT IS A TRASH MAN, MADDIE! He is obviously manipulating her to get what he wants. GET OUT OF THERE, MADDIE! GET OUT OF THERE!

The thing is the movie does not reckon or deal with this moment at all (because it is not a movie it is just a semblance of scenes). When the movie fasts forward and Paul is marrying Emma, we're meant to believe that Maddie is still friends with him, works with him, and admires him. The MOVIE ITSELF never questions this---is Paul a sincere authentic dude who was just oblivious to how he was coming over? Or was he screwing her over!?

I don't need a fucking idiotic Saltburn-style reveal, but the movie should have a fucking opinion about this and it should be reflected in it. It should be there in the mise-en-scene, the costuming, the subtext, SOMEWHERE. But this is not a movie, it is just a semblance of scenes.

I have written many words, and I am 7 minutes into the movie. So I am going to take a break and come back to his.

============= LUNCH BREAK ============

Alright, look, there are about 90 more minutes left in this movie and there are just dozens and dozens more moments like this where people do things and say things that just defy logic or are otherwise untreated and unacknowledged by the narrative. Parts of this movie approximate real life, but they don't come near it.

Rachel Handler over at Vulture does a granular breakdown (and still misses things cause omg this movie is a mess!) that you can check out here. She suggests that this movie could only have been written by AI. I get where she's coming from.

So much of this movie includes rom-com tropes like it's ticking off boxes rather than adding value to the overall story. For example, Maddie is repeatedly portrayed as a klutz---tripping over things, nearly breaking things. Why? I'm too tired to even be mad about this. Just.... why?!

The common wisdom is that gorgeous actresses need to be more relatable to audiences and making them klutzy is an easy shorthand for relatability.

The thing is this trope---and so many rom-com tropes---are deeply offensive to the women who make up much of the target audience. I mean JFC, gorgeous women can be single! For so.many.reasons. And I don't know about you, but I don't need an absurd narrative justification for why that might be that diminishes the main character and makes her look silly.

I mean, I'm a fuckup, but I don't get into a tug-of-war battle at the airport over luggage. (wtf, why didn't she just look at the fucking bag tag? This is insane behavior! Is this a sad little attempt at humor!? Barely 11 minutes into the movie now!).

The theme of this movie, to the extent there is one, (TO THE EXTENT THIS IS A MOVIE AT ALL) is that Maddie needs to learn to speak up for herself to get the things she actually wants. But she spends half the movie saying MY MOM WILL FIX IT! Just wait until my mom gets here!

Again, how is this a likeable or interesting character trait? It's one thing for a character to need to speak up for themselves. But there is something remarkably juvenile about a character who repeatedly says her mom will fix it.

In her review, Handler notes how unbelievably sexless this movie is and I 100% agree and noticed it immediately. To the extent that Maddie suddenly wakes up in the exact world she wants, she is remarkably embarrassed about getting the thing---THE MAN---she wants. She seems obviously afraid to kiss him, and "accidentally" (massive side-eye) kicks the shit out of him when she finds him in her bed.

It's like the movie doesn't want her to want anything. While simultaneously telling us she doesn't ask for the things she wants.

By the way, this is an insane contrast to the recent Netflix movie Players in which Gina Rodriguez spends the whole movie asking for the things she wants, pursuing it, and getting it. Fuck yeah, Gina.

I'm not saying a movie has to be sexual to be romantic or to work or anything like that. I'm saying don't be so fucking coy about it that you're inadvertently telling women that sex is NOT a part of love or that you're telling women they should be ashamed of desiring someone emotionally and physically. That's fucking ridiculous puritan SHIT.

Alright, this is the rare review that I have not thoughtfully organized in humorous stages. There's really just too much here to mine. There are the absurd accents that Seamas O'Reilly noted and understands much better than me in his review for the Irish Examiner here.

He also noted the uncanny valley of the location that feels totally phony the whole way through. And probably for good reason. I mean, first of all, we're supposed to believe that this candy pink dock is a real fucking place in Ireland??????

(Allegedly the lake is real, but fuck me I hope the dock is fake!!)

And honestly, of course it's fucking FAKE. Not sure if you can see the planter of flowers that are supposed to be just wild in the landscape, but I sure could.

But you don't really need evidence to tell you that everything about this movie is a contrived, fake, phony mess.

And here, ultimately is the problem.

Irish Wish is an objectively bad movie. I mean, I don't really care that there are always going to be tons of people whining about how 'it's a fun movie!' and 'it's just not that deep!' Like FUCK OFF. HAVE SOME FUCKING STANDARDS IN YOUR LIFE. It's a bad movie.

But there's almost zero way for this to impact Netflix's assessment of what works and what doesn't on their network and what they should invest in moving forward.

According to some sources, Players (a perfectly fine, predictable movie with good actors, okay writing, and actual production values) had 16.3 million views on the first week. Irish Wish had 19.5 million. Netflix has no way to determine whether one is of better quality than the other. It rewards the shitty writing, shitty production, equally, if not more.

I didn't get so mad after watching Irish Wish that I canceled my subscription. No, I just recognized that, 'oh hey, Physical 100 has a new season out next week.' So I just waited for that and watched the next thing on Netflix.

Sigh. And honestly, Irish Wish is so bad it's kind of fucking hilarious to watch, so maybe that's worth something here. Hard to argue with that.

I don't want to declare a genre dead, but we're running so hard in the wrong direction in the world of rom-com, that it's becoming painful to love these movies. It doesn't help that critics constantly give low ratings to rom-coms because of their predictability instead of understanding that being predictable is an essential part of the genre. But there's still a stark difference between Players and Irish Wish and I don't think that's properly reflected in a 4% audience score differential on Rotten Tomatoes. Like... what are we even doing here guys!? HAVE SOME STANDARDS, I AM BEGGING YOU.

But I do love this genre. I really do. I love these movies. I don't know what it's going to take to save them. But I can tell you one thing.

We can't count on Lindsay Lohan doing it for us.

*I am not getting into the religious implications here cause I'm an atheist Jew, so leave me out of this.

[captainbrookeworm]

The 'In Stars and Time' Experience So Far

Act 1: This story is utterly delightful! :D

Act 2: Oh. This bitch got hands.

Act 3: OH. THIS BITCH GOT H A N D S.

I am suddenly very afraid of what the rest of this game is going to do to me.

Thanks to @ampersandthewiz for forcing me to play, the sadist.

That being said, everyone go play it immediately its only like $20 go play now

[wolfythewitch]

Me and phlpost we are having disagreements we are having discourse

[cossmicssoph]

Funny story I actually just made this post on my original account but my finger slipped and I deleted everything I ever did, created, liked, reblogged, existed for, etc. So here I am, accidentally logged into my mystery account I forgot about.

I am here to start a book blog! For the summer? For the year?? For the ever?! Yes. I’m so excited.

Here are some books I’ll be reading in the next few weeks

Dark Rise- I have started this book first and im so excited to get into it. I heard from reviews that it has a cliffhanger. So I figured that I would read it right away, mourn the cliffhanger, and then jump into more books as I wait for the sequel to come out. Good plan?

The Charm Offensive- I have heard many nice things about this book! The thing that caught my attention was talk about how the characters have good development with their emotions and handling traumas? I really enjoy character development like that. (I just finished reading the Simon Snow Trilogy and also Boyfriend Material. All of these books had pretty emotionally vulnerable characters which is awesome to see!)

The Cruel Prince- This is me falling to my knees for the hype. (I would say booktok but I don’t have one of those) I’m excited for this one because of the quotes and fan art I’ve seen from the fandom. I’m always down for some fae fantasy and a badass female lead. I hope that’s what I’m getting from it.

The Priory of the Orange Tree- This book was recommended to me by a friend and I can’t wait to start it! (700+ pages? Yes please) I know the least about this book out of this list but am excited to jump into the world. I hear that it’s sapphic and a wonderful story, we love that!

I’ll be posting updates and reviews as I make my way through this list. Feel free to tag along or to leave some recommendations. :)

Let’s hope I don’t slip and delete this tumblr account. Ha. Ha.

[fire-breathing-pain-in-the-neck]

You guys…I just made an insane discovery.

We all know the Makeup Revolution Shrek collection, but did we know:

We got the cherry lipgloss 😭

[seagullcharmer]

practice!

[itsbrucey]

HI BESTIE GUESS WHAT I JUST FINISHED WATCHING (IT WAS BIGTOP BURGER OF COURSE IT WAS BIGTOP BURGER HOLY SHIT WHY THE FUCK DID I NOT TRY TO GET INTO THIS SOONER HOLY SHIT)

My brain chemistry was rewritten 3 years ago and I’m glad to have ruined yours as well. Lets spread this disease……together.

NO BUT FR?? IM SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT. PLEASE ALSO TELL ME ALL YOUR THOUGHTS ON IT ( and also hey. Bigtop burger DnDads au?? You in? /hj)

I haven’t seen the newest S2 upload which I know has new content and I’m just. So. Over the moon. And also scared bc whenever I talk about Bigtop Burger there always seems to be new content drops??? Ian Worthikids is watching me and takes pleasure in my torment.

THIS IS ALSO ANOTHER CHANCE FOR ME TO GRAB YOU. AND EVERYONE ELSE TO SAY. PLEASE LISTEN TO THE FULL MUSIC IN THE SHOW AND WORTHIKIDS’ OTHER STUFF. HES AN INSANELY TALENTED MUSICIAN AND ANIMATOR AND I THINK BIGTOP BURGER WOULDNT BE HALF THE SHOW IT IS WITHOUT THE LOVINGLY MADE SOUNDTRACK. FRIENDS IN LOW PLACES JUST GOT A REPRISE AND IT FUCKS SO HARD. THANK YOU EVERYBODY, GOOD NIGHT!!!!!!!!

[uncanny-tranny]

It's always tempting to debate bigots about their bigotry, but honestly the best thing you can do is often to directly help those affected by said bigotry.

Bigotry doesn't exist to be debated. People who are bigots do not care about debate - they care about humiliating their opponents. You cannot outsmart somebody who doesn't give a flying fuck about their position being incorrect. You will be playing a completely different game by trying to debate somebody out of their bigotry.

The best thing you can do is to show up for the marginalized. Check in on them, talk to them, and engage with them as people. Ask them if they would like help and then respect their answer to the best of your capabilities. Oftentimes, that will be sufficient enough and will go a long way.

[cheapgirlyfinds]

Choco banana keychain/charm 🍌

[charmsandtealeaves]

2023 Year In Review

I first did this post last year after getting back into the swing of fandom and thought it would be cool to see what a difference another year has made. This year saw the creation of the @jilymicrofics & @jilymicro-oops blogs respectively, which will have their own review post in due course. Looking back I once again managed more than I thought I did this year.

Let's start with some AO3 Stats:

User Subscriptions: 103 Kudos: 2,732 Comment Threads: 781 Bookmarks: 594 Subscriptions: 315 Word Count: 267,425

All of which had a significant increase compared to last year which makes me a little giddy!

Now it's time for an AO3/Tumblr Breakdown:

Jilychallenges: My goal for this year was to complete every @jilychallenge month this year, and I did! (I'll link a proper master post here later.)

January, Firsts & New Beginnings: One and One is Two February, Butterfly Moments: Feelings Keep Running the Red March, Soul Mates: Ties That Bind April, Letters, Notes & Texting: Meet Me At The River May, Mothers Day: Mothers Day Mix-up June, Winter: Ice Breaker (@jamesunderwater collaboration!) July, Summer: Midnight Dip August, Movies & TV Quotes: A Reason To Fight September, Back To School: Sugar Quills November, Nostalgic Tropes: The Exchange Principle December, Holiday Calendar: Mistletoe Mishaps

@jilytoberfest: I didn't contribute to this as much as I wanted to this year 😢

Discord G & M Jilyexpress Trains, M Tumblr Jilyexpress Train Masquerade Event: Laundry Day Romcom Event: Love Birds

Jilymicrofics Prompted Fics:

Snap One Time Thing (and its sequel: No Such Thing) Runner's Stitch Summer Rain How Times Have Changed The Entire February Prompt List Behind The Tapestries Gift Exchange Event, for @startanewdream: The Owl and the Pussy Cat Mystery Microfic May Event: Darkest Before Dawn Early Mornings

@mppmaraudergirl's Blackevans BFF Week

Detention With a Difference Padfoot's Nose Knows Something Black and Blue

Collaborative Projects:

Stripped Back To Basics, with @athenasparrow Ice Breaker, with @jamesunderwater

Completed One-Shots:

Supreme Pizza With Extra Mushrooms Rose Tinted Glasses Lily Evans Doesn't Believe In I Love You's Evans Guide To Quidditch (and Seducing James Potter)

Completed Multi-Chapters:

Brown Boots & Breakfast Bagels Revenge Tastes Sweeter, a gift for @joyseuphoria Call Me By Name & Incoming (The CMBN Universe)

Ongoing Multi- Chapters:

Wake Me Up (When September Ends) A big thank you to @annabtg for helping me edit this fic!

Goals for 2024:

Finish Wake Me Up (When September Ends)

Another year of jilymicrofics + their events

As many jilychallenges as I can feasibly manage

Work on + publish some other backburner WIPs

~ Ray

[neonliminality]

I FINALLY got the hillbillies back.

[shikai-the-storyteller]

I think it is EXTREMELY cute that Pac hides whenever he's embarrassed. If he's embarrassed he'll either hide his face in his hands and completely disappears off camera or his character will run to a completely different room and he'll hide his face in his hands.