#chmergatroyd fanfiction

[sarahjane0886]

A Time to Grow 94

AN: Heyyy all, soo ya know quarantine life means extra time on your hands. I’m working from home and have been trapped in our “office” so that means I'm limited at what I can be doing soooooo guess who gets a random update. I’m hoping to get you all some more if there’s any of you still out there lol! Hopefully you’re all doing good, staying safe and staying home if you can during this crazy time.  I thought maybe we all needed a some fluff and somethings to take our minds off things

Addie - 11

Clara - 5

"Papa?" Clara asked from the backseat of the car as they came home from her gymnastics practice the one day. 

"What's up little one?" Maks asked immediately, hearing the nerves in Clara's voice. 

"I don't want to go to school." She said as her voice cracked. 

"Baby......" Maks said softly. A few weeks ago, they had gone to sign Clara up for kindergarten. She would be going to the same school as Addie. Addie was still there for two more years so they had hoped it would help with the transition for Clara. Clara had been extremely resistant to the idea however. On more than one occasion she had voiced her displeasure at the upcoming change in her life. This however was the first time that she seemed genuinely upset. In the past, she had simply stated that "No, I do not want to go to school." Then she'd move on with things like it hadn't happened. 

"I don't want to not be with you. I don't want to not be with Momma. I don't want to go somewhere without you. Please don't make me papa. Please." She said desperately. Maks looked back in the rearview mirror and could see her starting to panic and meltdown. 

"Sweetheart, can you take a deep breath for me. I'm going to stop and then we can talk okay?" Maks said as he realized they were near the park by their house. 

"No....home....please." She said as she tried to do what Maks had asked. He figured she probably wanted her lovies which were not going to be anywhere if they stopped. 

"Okay, we'll go home. We're almost there. Then we'll talk." He said gently. She nodded her head as the tears kept falling down her cheeks. Her breathing seemed to settle a bit and Maks focused on getting them home. Once they were there, he parked and went around to help her out of the backseat. Instead of jumping out however, she reached for him and wrapped her arms around his neck clinging to him tightly.

"I got you little one." Maks murmured, holding her tightly, he reached in and grabbed her gym bag and slipped it on his arm before heading into the house. 

"Hey....how was....oh did she fall asleep?" Peta asked as she seen Clara attached to Maks like a little monkey. 

"No. Actually...." Maks started but was interrupted by Clara's sob which made Peta look at the two in concern. 

"School." Maks said softly. 

"Ohhh."

"Papa, can we get Whiskers please?" Clara asked through her tears. 

"Alright love, lets go get Whiskers and then we'll head outside. Momma is going to come too okay? So we can all talk." Maks said as he rubbed her back.  

"I'm going to go tell Addie where we'll be. She's working on her English project." Peta said. Addie was taking an accelerated English program so she had a little bit of summer work. Maks nodded and headed towards Clara's room so he could gather her things before he headed out to the swing.

"Hey Buttercup." Peta said sitting down next to the two of them. Maks shifted and Clara slid between her parents. Her tears and sobs continued however as the realization of school had seemed to completely sink in. 

"It's okay baby." Mask whispered softly as they left her get this out. They had learned with both girls that rather than talking them down, they needed to just let them feel what they needed to with the exception of hysterical sobbing. In those cases, they did their best to comfort or soothe. It took a good fifteen minutes before Clara started to settle to where they could talk to her. 

"Are you ready to talk things over with us sweetheart?" Peta asked pressing a kiss to her head once she felt Clara had calmed enough. 

"I guess momma." She said with her lip trembling still. 

"Okay buttercup, so you don't want to go to school." Peta said as she didn't completely catch what had happened when the two came in but she assumed that's what the issue was.

"No. I don't want to be not with you and Papa anymore." She said as she shook at the thought. 

"Baby, I know you're scared, I was too." Peta said as she brushed some of Clara's hair out of her face as Clara pressed as tightly into Maks's shoulder as she could. 

"You was...?" Clara said in complete shock, surely her super momma didn't get scared. 

"I was. I was scared of going to a new place and not knowing anyone and being away from Gigi and Pappy."

"Like me?" 

"Just like you. And you know what buttercup?"

"What?" 

"It's okay to be scared, you know that right?" 

"But I don't like it. It makes my tummy feel funny and sometimes I get wet eyes and then I cry. And I don't want to be scared." Maks could feel her anxiety kicking up again as she explained things to Peta so he shifted her slightly and nestled her better into his arms. He felt her body relax just very very slightly.

"It is a very funny feeling sometimes buttercup but you know what? It just means you're growing up. And sometimes when we grow up we have to do some things that are a little scary at first but then they get less and less scary every time you do it." 

"What if it doesn't?" Clara asked softly. 

"Then we work on it. Do you remember when you were learning your backbend and you were super scared to do it because you didn't like going backwards and not being able to see?" 

"Yeah, I fell all the time cause Miss Natalie said I would panic and freeze and that wasn't good."

"Right! It wasn't. Then what did Miss Natalie do?" 

"She showed me some things to help and then shed spot me and she showed you and Addie how to spot me too so I could practice and get better."

"That's right. And that's what a lot of things will be like as you grow up. They may be scary initially but then as things get going, we'll figure out ways to help and how to make it better." 

"Can you and Addie come spot me in Kindergarten?" Clara asked innocently, making both of her parents grin in response. 

"That won't work this time little one but you do have Addie down the hall from you. So she's in the same place as you, just in different rooms." 

"Oh..."

"Did you know Addie was scared about Kindergarten too?" Peta said remembering Addis's first day. 

"No! Addie loves school!" Clara said in shock. 

"She does now but she was super nervous the first day. She even cried. I'll bet if you asked her about it, she'll explain everything to you so you know what to expect." 

"Will she?" 

"I think so. You want to ask her now?" 

"In a minute. Is it okay if I'm still scared?" Clara said as she curled back into Maks and reached for Peta's hand. 

"It's okay buttercup, you just let Papa or I know what you need okay? I promise we'll keep you safe and we wouldn't send you anywhere that we thought you wouldn't like."

"Momma is right little one. While all little ones have to go to school at some point, Momma and I get to pick where you go and we know you'll like it." 

"Just like when you picked my new gym?" 

"Exactly like that." 

"Oh. Okay." She said nodding her head before becoming quiet. Peta looked at Maks to see if he thought they should keep talking but he shook his head no slightly. He figured she was calm for now, there would be more meltdowns later and they'd have to find other things to talk about to help with the situation. With Addie, they only had issues the first day and then after that when they found out Peta was pregnant. The second time however had nothing to do with her actually going to school but had everything to do with her fear of something physically happening to Peta. 

The three sat on the swing for quite some time letting Clara do what she needed. She stayed curled up with both of her parents just taking in their comfort. After a while Addie came to find them and joined them on the swing. 

"Addie...." Clara said after a little bit of the four sitting there. 

"Yeah Clar?" 

"I'm ascared of school. Momma and Papa said you cried too but now you love it." 

"I did cry on my first day cause I got super nervous but Momma and Papa promised me that I was safe and that I'd like it. And they were right." 

"What happens? Momma and Papa telled me the same thing but my tummy still feels funny and I don't want to go yet. I like being with Momma and Papa and you." 

"I like being with you too but we have to go to school. It's how we learn things. I can tell you all about it though. Kindergarten is super fun. You learn but you play too and you do lots of crafts and sing songs. Wait, who is her teacher? Is it Miss Callie like me?" Addie asked. 

"Yes it's going to be Miss Callie." Maks answered as she shifted Clara some so she could see her sister on the other side of Peta. 

"Oh, good. I had Miss Callie too Clara. She is super super nice and friendly and she makes you feel safe. So before you go for the first day, you'll go visit with Momma and Papa and meet Miss Callie and see everything. She'll show you your seat, your cubby, the room, and everything so that it's not all scary when you go for real the first time. Then on the first day, when you get there, momma and papa will drop you off and then Miss Callie will help you find a friend. That's how me and Grace became friends. Miss Callie thought we'd be good friends and she was very right because we're still friends now. So then every day is pretty much the same, you get there and put your stuff up. You have free play which sometimes is whatever you want and sometimes centers which are cool. Then you have circle time where you learn songs, the days of the week, the date and all this cool stuff, then you get center time where you rotate through different places to play or places to make projects. Then everyone helps cleanup, you have snack time. You do story time and then you learn some things. Then you have either time in the playground or in the gym if it's rainy. Then Momma and Papa come. You have so much fun and it's so busy that it's time to go home before you know it." 

"What if I don't like my friend?" Clara asked pensively as she had listened to everything that her sister had said. 

"Then Miss Callie will help find you a new one. But you all get to play together all the time. Grace and I used to play with Lucy, Michael, Jordan, and Izzie everyday but sometimes we'd all play with the other kids too. Grace just ended up being my best friend." 

"Do I have to play with other people all the time? What if I want to be alone?" Clara asked. Peta knew that was probably an issue, while Clara was an absolute sweetheart and got along with everyone, there were moments when she just needed a break from everyone and would just ask to spend time alone or with Maks or Peta separately. It was like her shyness kicked in and she needed to reset. 

"Then you can do that. They have quiet corners and reading nooks where you can cuddle with a stuffed toy and look at a book or play with something quietly by yourself." 

"Did you do that?" 

"I did sometimes. I liked looking at the books and there was a huge stuffed monkey that I would cuddle with." 

"Oh. Okay." 

"Does that help some?" 

"A little. I'm still scareded." Clara said sheepishly. 

"It's okay Clar. There's two more things that might help some and even if you're still scared it's okay. Momma says we're allowed to be scared but we shouldn't let us stop it from at least trying new things. Right momma?" 

"Right baby." Peta said with a smile. 

"What are the two things?" Clara asked. 

"Well the first thing is that I'll be in the same place as you for this year and next year before I move to the new building. So even though you'll be in your own classroom, you'll still be in the same place as me. Like when we're at home but you're playing in the playroom and I'm practicing dance in the basement." 

"Oh, I like that. What if I need you?" 

"You can ask Miss Callie. You might be able to say hi to me sometimes but since I have to keep learning I won't be able to play but I could probably give you a hug quick." Addie said shrugging her shoulders and looking at Maks and Peta. 

"It's something we can talk to Miss Callie and your teacher about Addie Girl. As long as it's not all the time, it may be okay." Maks said. 

"Okay." 

"What's the other thing Addie?" Clara said as she continued to just take everything in. 

"Umm, wait, let me check and make sure it's real." Addie said realizing that she needed to make sure this would happen too. She leaned up to Peta and whispered in her ear. "Does she get to go on a shopping day like I do when it's school time?" 

"She does, you two can either pick to go together or have your own days." Peta said. 

"Oh good, I'm okay either way. Okay Clara so when it comes school time, you need some things, like a backpack and lunchbox for when you go to the studio after school. Then you need tennis shoes and clothes so Momma and Papa take us on a shopping day and we get to help pick everything out and then we go to dinner somewhere cool and it's a whole day for us. And I just checked with Momma and she said you get to do it too this year and that we can either have our own days or we can do a day together." 

"Ohh, really? Can we do it together?" 

"Yeah. we can do that." Addie said smiling. She had figured that is what her sister would pick. She thought it was pretty cool most times that Clara looked up to her and trusted her so much. Sometimes it was hard but for the most part she loved it and she loved being a big sister. 

"Yay! When do we get to go?" 

"Probably next week. You guys have about 3 weeks before you start. Clara, we have your Meet Miss Callie day in a few days and then maybe we can have the special day right after that." 

"Can we do a countdown?" Clara asked needing to know exactly when everything was happening. She had picked up the joy in the countdowns just as much as her sister had and enjoyed knowing when things were happening. 

"Yeah, we can do that. How about we work on it tonight after we finish dinner?" 

"Okay papa, thank you." 

"You're welcome little one. How do you feel about school now?" 

"Not as scareded as before but still a little bit. It helped talking to everyone. Thank you everybody." She said reaching to hug each of her family members. 

"You're welcome baby and just remember that you can talk to any of us whenever you need if you get scared okay?" 

"Okay." Clara said and with that they headed in to start dinner and then work on the countdown for the start of the school year. The next week passed pretty smoothly with dance and gymnastic practices along with Clara's Meet Miss Callie day. It had went by pretty smoothly with the only exception of Clara refusing to leave Maks and Peta's side. She did talk to Miss Callie and explored with her parents. Miss Callie assured that was fine and that all children adjust differently. They asked about the seeing of Addie if the need arose and she ensured that if at times that Clara needed a hug from her big sister, as long as it wasn't interrupting a lesson or a test, they could accommodate that. Clara seemed to relax a bit as she heard that. Everyone seemed to be a bit calmer after seeing that day go by smoothly. 

That following week was the shopping weekend and Clara was slightly excited but getting more and more anxious as they removed a pencil off the chart each night. The morning of shopping, Peta felt a small body climb into bed with her and snuggle under the blankets. 

"Whatcha doing buttercup?" She asked sleepily once she determined it was Clara. 

"I woke up early and I wanted to cuddle." She said simple as she curled into Peta. 

"Okay, momma likes her cuddles." Peta said snuggling Clara in. She pressed a kiss to her forehead as they laid there. "Are you ready for shopping today?" 

"Yeah, but I wish it wasn't school shopping." She said softly 

"Oh baby, I know you're still scared but I really do promise it's going to be okay." 

"How do you know?" Clara asked her head leaning back to look at her mother. 

"Because you are my brave little girl and you are smart, sweet, and kind and I know that even though it'll be hard and scary at first, you're going to have a great time and make lots of friends and learn lots of things." 

"Do I have to be brave?" 

"Maybe just a little bit but you'll get braver each day you go. Just like with your gymnastics." 

"I hope so." Clara said softly as she curled back into Peta. She became silent and Peta let her be. They had many of these conversations over the past week or so as they got closer. They continued assuring Clara that it was okay to be scared but that it would get better and she'd have a great time. She seemed skeptical at the end of each conversation but calmer at the same time.

"So we usually do breakfast before school shopping. Do you want to pick where we're going?" Peta asked her after they snuggled for a little bit. 

"Umm, can we get smoothie bowls? With blueberries?" Clara asked after thinking for a few minutes. 

"I'm pretty certain we can do that. We can go to Berry Bowl." 

"Ohh! I like Berry Bowl! Is it time yet? I'm excited for my smoothie bowl." Clara said perking up. 

"Well, someone needs a shower and clothes and we have to make sure Papa and Addie are awake." Peta said teasingly as she tickled Clara. 

"I'll go wake up Addie and then get my shower. Will you braid my hair today?" 

"Of course baby, whatever outfit you pick, you need tennis shoes today okay? Or your crocs. We're going to be walking a lot." 

"Okay momma. You're in charge of Papa." Clara said slipping off the bed and skipping out of the room. Peta nearly yelped as Maks pulled her back into him but giggled knowing that he had probably been awake nearly for the whole time but let them have their time. 

"Berry Bowl huh? How did we get kids who request smoothies and healthy things?" 

"Cause we showed them they were delicious." Peta said as she flipped over and cuddled into her husband. He pulled her in tight and they laid there for a second until they heard Clara yell in the hallway. 

"ADDIE IS UP. I'M SHOWERING!" She yelped making her parents laugh. At least if she was still terrified of school, she was excited about shopping. 

An hour and a half later, the family was pulling into Berry Bowl. They headed in and began to look at the menu. Addie hoisted Clara onto her back and they looked through the menu together as they waited in line. 

"Addie, can we share a smoothie with our bowls? Momma, can I get the Nutella bowl?" 

"I'll share one with you. I want the York Classic Bowl if that's okay. Just the kid one, the last time we came here and I got the regular, it was way too much." 

"Do you two know what smoothie to you want to share?" 

"Wanna do the Avocado/Blueberry Bliss, Clar?" 

"Sure. We like that one." 

"Okay, you two want to go find a table and Momma and I will be over after we order?" Maks asked the two. 

"Sure Papa. Come on Clara, we can figure out the shopping plan too and where we're going. Is it okay if we pick two little stores to see if they have deals?" Addie asked. 

"That's fine, you know the usual, Addie. Just a few things at those stores and the majority at the department stores." Peta said. 

"Okay, got it. Can we use your phone to look?" Addie asked. Peta nodded and handed Addie the phone after unlocking it. Addie and Clara went over to find a booth for the family. Clara slid in next to Addie and the two started looking at things on Addie's phone. 

"I can't believe how well they get along still." Peta said as she linked her arm through Maks's as they waited in line. 

"Me too. I mean Val and I had the same age gap and we mostly got along but I feel like that was due to circumstance. And we still fought a lot. Just like meaningless sibling stuff but those two are quite the pair. I'm proud of Addie for being the way she is with Clara. That's for sure. I think that has a lot to do with it honestly." 

"I agree. Clara knows that she can go to Addie at any time and she's there. And I know you were the same with Val and I was the same with Sam but this is different. They've fought like twice in their whole entire sisterhood. I keep waiting for Addie to hit the sassy moody teen years and shut down on Clara but it hasn't happened yet. Hopefully it won't happen."

"I hope not too. But I guess we deal with it as it comes. I feel like so far Addie has been receptive to us catching things and us talking to her." 

"Right, I think us starting with her little has helped with that. There were times when I thought we were explaining too much to her but I feel like she knows we're real and honest and that speaks volumes." Peta said as it was finally their turn and they ordered the family's breakfast. Their conversation halted as they took the order number to the table and joined the girls to continue planning their day. The girls had picked Fashion Island so that Addie could show Clara the carousel and because she was familiar with the stores. They picked to go to Splendid and Peek for Clara with Forever 21 & Abercrombie for Addie. Then they choose Macy's, Kohls, and Nordstrom Rack. Clara and Addie both also had some birthday money and allowance money so they asked to go to Claire's, Bath & Body, and Barnes & Noble. 

They made some progress at both of the girl's shop stores before they headed to Macy’s and that's when Clara decided she wanted Addie and her to get something that matched. 

“Addie, can we get something that matches?” Clara asked as they headed to girls’ section in Macy’s. 

“Clara, that’s not….” Peta started in having a good feeling Addie wasn’t going to want to do that. 

“That’s fine Clar, maybe just one or two things though okay?” Addie shrugged looking at her mother. It wasn’t really that big of deal to match her sister. They had done it numerous times and as long as it wasn’t an everyday thing. 

“Yes! Let’s start looking. We can pick something cool out so it’s not too babyish for you.” 

“Thanks Clara. Here papa, will you hold these please so I can help look too?” Addie said as she passed off the bags on her arms to Maks. 

“You three look, I’m going to run these to the cars.” He pressed a kiss to Peta’s cheek and left the three to look. 

“Clara, look at this! This would be cool with a jean jacket over top and either sandals or flats.” Addie said showing Clara a pleated vertically striped dress with a navy belt in the middle. It was striped with shades of blue and pink.

“I like that! Do they have it in both our sizes? Momma is this okay?” Clara eeped excitedly. 

“If you both like it and we can find it, that looks good to me.” Peta said as she started moving through the rack. 

“Addie look at this one too!” Clara said hold a dark jean dress that also had a belt and buttoned down the middle. “We could wear boots or flats” 

“I like that one too! Let’s get them both and try them on if its okay with Momma.” Addie said looking at Peta who nodded her agreement. Clara ended up finding two more dresses that she was in love with that they gathered for this round of trying on. They decided they’d do the matching outfits first and then once Maks was back, the girls could begin finding some of the things they needed. Peta usually had a list of so many tops, pants, and so on that each girl would need to update their clothing for the year. It was a big trip but typically they only did huge clothing trips once a year and then the girls got some around Christmas as well. 

“Ohh! I love them!” Clara said as they came out of the room in their striped dresses first. Addie nodded her head in agreement as she looked in the mirror checking to make sure it looked okay. 

“Whoa, look at my babies. Those dresses make you both look very grown up.” Maks said appearing next to Peta with two smoothies in his hands. “I brought treats!” 

“Oh! I want some!” Clara said bouncing over to Maks. 

“Not til you are in your clothes little one. I want to see what else you picked out. Are you all done shopping here already?” 

“No way papa! Momma said we’d pick out the sister outfits first and then go back for other things.” 

“Ohh, I see. I understand now. Okay lets see the next outfit.” Maks said twirling her before sending her back in. They spent the next few hours between the shops getting the girls everything they needed including a new backpack for Clara and lunch box and then all their supplies before heading to dinner. Once they got home, everyone dispersed to relax from the long day of shopping. 

“Come in.” Addie yelled hearing a knock on her door. 

“Can I read in here with you?” Clara asked as she leaned against her sister’s door jam already in her pjs holding her lovies and her Kindle. 

“Sure, come here.” Addie said as she slid over to let Clara climb in beside her. Having Clara appear in her room to read wasn’t that out of the ordinary but Addie could see that Clara was still worried about Kindergarten starting next week. Clara settled in next to Addie and got her Junie B. Jones' book started on her kindle as she curled up next to her big sister. Addie waited a few minutes thinking Clara was going to say something but started reading as well when Clara stayed silent. 

“Addie…” Clara said softly finally. 

“Yeah Clar?” 

“What if I’m never not scared?” She said with a shaky voice. “I been tryin to be not scared all day today and I liked shopping and having fun and Miss Callie was nice but I’m still scared.” 

“I promise you won’t be scared forever. It may take a little bit to not be scared but I promise it will be okay. I wasn’t as scared as you before the first day got here but then when it finally did, I got super scared in the car on the way there and I refused to get out. I made Papa carry me in and Sophie went with us too. It took me a long time to tell Momma and Papa goodbye but when I did, Miss Callie introduced me to Grace and then it got better. You might take a little longer for it to feel better but I know it won’t be scary forever. I promise.” 

“Pinky promise?” 

“Pinky promise.” Addie said, offering up her pinky. Clara locked hers with Addie and the two did their secret pinkie promise shake they started about a year ago. 

“Will you go in with me like you said Sophie went in with you?” 

“Yeah I can do that. We’ll probably take you first and then I’ll go down to my room.” 

“Okay, thanks Addie.” Clara whispered softly. 

“Anytime Clar, I’m your big sister. I’ll always be here to help. Here want me to read to you instead of the kindle?” Addie offered. Clara nodded and snuggled into her sister as she began to read. After a little bit Addie felt Clara’s head get heavy on her arm and realized she had fallen asleep. She shifted in the bed pulling Clara over before laying her Kindle down beside them. She curled up on the pillow next to her sister and fell asleep quickly as well. School shopping was extremely exhausting. 

The morning of school, both girls were up early, Addie out of excitement, Clara out of pure fear. Maks made his usual first day of school breakfast which consisted of FunFetti pancakes, fruit salad, and bacon. Clara hardly touched any of her food before Peta gave up and took her to do her hair. 

“How do you want to do your hair buttercup? How about we put your romper on and then you can decide after that.” Peta said as she found the romper Clara had picked to wear the first day. It was navy with butterflies and flowers all over it. Clara had only picked it because it was similar to the dress Addie had planned on wearing today as well. She handed the romper to Clara and helped her get in it before helping her get settled on the counter.

“Okay do you have any ideas?” Peta asked, to which she got a shrug. She figured she wasn’t going to get many answers out of Clara but wanted to try. 

“Curls or no curls?” 

“Curls.” Clara said softly. “You pick.” 

“Okay, let’s see. Here, you put some music on while we do your hair.” Peta said handing Clara her cell phone hoping the distraction would help some. She chose The Greatest Showman soundtrack and just sat there holding the phone while Peta worked on her hair. She curled the bottom and then pulled a few pieces back before intertwining them so that they looked like she had a heart in her hair. 

“All done baby. Here I gave you a heart.” Peta said holding up the mirror so Clara could see what her hair turned out like. 

“Thank you momma.” Clara said softly with a half smile. 

“You’re welcome buttercup, I promise you’re going to like Kindergarten. I’m going to go do Addie’s hair, you can either come with me or go down with Papa. He’s packing Addie’s lunch.” 

“I don’t have to lunch right?” 

“No, you only go for a half day, Papa and I will pick you up before lunch. Some days we will pack you a lunch if you’re going to come to the dance studio after school with us though. That sound okay?” 

“Yeah.” She said reaching for Peta’s hand. She went with Peta to do Addie’s hair and waited quietly as Peta tied Addie’s hair in a similar style minus the need to curl it. Addie was wearing a flowy navy dress with tiny flowers all over it. The dress came with a long tan light sweater that she had on also. 

“Okay, you’re both done. We just have to go get your bags and then we’ll head out.” Peta said after confirming Addie was good with her hair. 

“Can we have a minute?” Addie asked Peta looking at Clara who had stayed silent the entire time. 

“Yeah sure sweet pea, just a few minutes though we do need to go so we have time to take you both.” Addie nodded and Peta left the two alone. Addie led them over to her bed and put Clara up on it so she could see her. 

“So I have something for you. I know this isn’t going to help all the way but at least you’ll have something with you all day to help you feel a little more safe. Turn around.” Addie said as she reached for something off her bedside table. She had decided last night to give Clara one of her necklaces to wear while she was at school in hopes of helping her sister feel a little less alone. 

“Addie.” Clara said as her fingers came up and touched the necklace. “This is your special heart necklace.” 

“I know, I thought it was more important for you to wear it for now. I’m going to let you borrow it until you aren’t so nervous about school. And this way you have my heart, momma’s heart, and papa’s heart with you all the time.” Addie said. The necklace had been one that Addie had actually bought herself and had been a little more on the expensive side for an eleven year old. She had found it the day after her tenth birthday party and fell in love with it. Being that they had just done birthday presents, Maks and Peta told Addie that she'd have to use her own money to get the necklace. 

"Are you sure?" Clara asked in sheer shock as she looked in her sister's dresser mirror. 

"Yeah, I'm positive. I want you to feel safe. Come on now, momma said we have to hurry so I can come to your room too." Addie said holding her hand out for Clara. Clara slid off the bed but instead of taking Addies hand, wrapped her sister up in a tight hug. 

"Thank you." She murmured. 

"You're welcome Clar." Addie said before leading them downstairs. They got some pictures before leaving. Clara remained quiet in the car not really talking to anyone. Once they got to the school, Maks moved to get her out. He went to sit her on the ground but she refused to let go of him. Her grip tightening on his neck.

"Okay, okay, I got you, you cant choke me tho little one. I'll carry you." He could feel her panic fully set in as her body began to shake. He looked at Peta nervously as she gathered Clara's bag and her supply contribution. 

"Its okay Clara." Addie said as she moved next to Maks. Peta came around as well and the group started towards the school. They headed in and made their way to Clara's room where Miss Callie was waiting in the doorway. 

"Addie! Hi! Who are you here with?" The young teacher said even though she already knew the relationship. She seen Clara's death grip on her father so she decided to focus on Addie rather than force herself on Clara. 

"My sister Clara. She's really scared. More scared than I was but I told her you'd keep her safe and make sure she has fun. And I told her I was right down the hall."

"That's right and were gonna find her a buddy just like you with Grace. I actually have another little girl who is pretty scared too. Maybe they can help each other, what do you think?" 

"I think that's good. See Clara I told you she'd help you find a friend."

“Hi Clara, I’m glad to see you today. I can’t wait to have so much fun today.” Miss Callie said. 

“Can I take her to her cubby?” Addie asked looking between her parents and Miss Callie. 

“Sure, she can hang her bag and coat in there.” Miss Callie said. 

“Come with me Clara.” Addie said softly to her sister. Maks went to put her down but she refused to let go of his neck. 

“It’s okay little one, we aren’t leaving. Addie is just taking you to hang up your bag.” Maks said, trying to put her down one more time. She hesitated but then let him put her down but immediately latched onto her sister’s arm before Addie led them away. 

“She’s going to be harder than Addie but I think after some time she’ll be okay.” Callie said looking at the two parents who looked concerned. 

“You’d still call if she’s not okay by 10ish?” Peta asked. 

“Yeah, honestly as long as she’s not hysterical, we’d let her be unless you all voiced otherwise. We’ve found it best to comfort but not focus on the upset. Sometimes when we hone in on that, it just gives them the impression to keep it up and then they’ll get their way. And understand by no means does that mean we’re going to let her sit crying. I just mean if she’s just being quiet and not super interactive we’re not going to call you to come get her. If she’s crying, I’ll keep her with me or one of my helpers will do that.” 

“Okay, I think we’re okay with that. Since she’s the younger one, she’s never really been without either of us and her sister at the same time. Especially with people she doesn’t know. She’s also the softer, quieter, more internal one of the two.” Maks said. 

“I understand that, definitely situations we’ve encountered in the past. We’ll get through this. And like I told Addie, I have another little girl, Lena, who seems to be the same way as her. I think rather than pairing them with a little bit more bold, I’m going to put them together.”

“We did it.” Addie returned with Clara who immediately moved back to Maks and put her hands up. Instead of picking her up, he bent down and let her cuddle into him that way. 

“Okay Little one, Momma and I are going to go, we’re going to take Addie down to her room. We’ll be back in 2 Frozens. You’re going to have a great morning with Miss Callie. She’s got a friend for you to play with, her name is Lena. I heard she’s pretty scared too so maybe you guys can work together to be brave.” Make said giving her a kiss and a tight squeeze before sending her over to Peta despite her death grip on his neck. 

“Alright buttercup, I know you’re scared but I promise Papa and I wouldn’t send you anywhere you wouldn’t have fun just like with gymnastics. You’re gonna have fun with Lena and Miss Callie and you’re going to learn so much like Addie does. I love you baby.” Peta said giving her a hug and kiss before attempting to stand up. Clara however wouldn’t let go. 

“Ill see you later Clara, you’re gonna have fun and remember.” Addie said touching the necklace around Clara’s neck. Clara looked at Addie with her eyes full of tears as they began to slide down her checks. Maks sighed audibly in worry. 

“Come on Clara, I’m going to take you over to meet Lena and then you’ll have a friend. It’s okay I promise. See she’s over there in the cozy corner cause she’s super scared too. She didn’t want her mommy and daddy to leave either.” Clara looked between both of her parents and her sister who all nodded encouragingly before she reached out a trembling hand to Miss Callie. Miss Callie took it and pulled the little girl into her side before she turned them away from the waiting three. Maks led their group away too. 

“What happens if she stays super scared and crying Momma?” Addie asked as they headed down to her room. 

“They’ll call me and papa in about an hour and then we’ll figure out what to do from there.” Peta said. 

“Oh. will they let me help?” 

“I don’t think so sweet pea, I think they want to focus on her getting used to this even if it’s really hard. Seeing you may make it harder on her too. I seen you gave her your necklace to wear. That was sweet of you.” 

“Yeah, I wanted her to have something to keep her feeling safe and knowing we were with her.” 

“Thank you sweet pea, you really are such a great big sister.” 

“Clara!” They heard someone yell before Maks felt a tiny body crash into his legs. He turned around and found Clara clinging to him tightly with tears running down her face. Miss Callie and another little girl were at the end of the hall looking worried. 

“Little one.” Maks said softly. 

“I can’t, I can’t.” She said between sobs as he held onto her father. He picked her up and held her rubbing her back. 

“Shhh, it’s okay, it’s okay.” He said trying to settle her some. “Im going to take her back. Addie are you okay with just Momma for now?” 

“Yeah papa…..” She trailed off watching her sister in concern. 

“It’ll be okay sweet pea.” Peta said softly as she pulled Addie into her side. 

“You have a great first day baby, I can’t wait to hear all about it later okay? I love you.” Maks said as he hugged Addie and pressed a kiss to her head. Peta turned and led them down the hall as Maks went the other way with Clara only causing her sobs to intensify. 

“I’m sorry, I was introducing her to Lena and she took off.” Miss Callie said looking worried. 

“It’s okay, can I have a little bit with her and then I’ll bring her back in?” 

“Sure.” Miss Callie said clearly shook up. She had never had that happen before. He nodded his thanks before walking across the hall and started working on calming his little girl. It took a good five minutes before he got her calm enough to where he could talk to her. 

“Clara, baby, I need you to listen for a minute before we talk about school. I know  you’re scared and you don’t want Momma and I to go but you can’t do that. You can’t run away from Miss Callie. What if Momma and I hadn’t been right there and you’d have gotten lost? Do you know how scary that would be for me and Momma and Miss Callie? We don’t want anything to happen to you. Can you please promise me you won’t do that again?” 

“I promise….” She said as her tears continued to stream down her face but she was no longer sobbing and gasping for breath. 

“Thank you. Now I know you’re scared. I know it. I can see it. I can feel it. If this wasn’t something that we all didn’t have to do, Momma and I wouldn’t make you. But you have to go to school. Addie goes to school, Sophie goes to school, Anya will go to school next year. I went, Momma went. We all have to do it. I can’t take you home baby, you have to try for me. Can you try to be a big brave girl for me?” 

“I….I….I don’t know.” She said as her tears started to fall harder and she fell into Maks’s chest hard. 

“I’m scared too.” A little voice came from beside Maks. Miss Callie and a little girl had appeared at some point and the little girl was looking at Clara with huge concern in her eyes. 

“Sorry I think it distracted her but made her worried too.” Miss Callie said apologetically. 

“It’s okay. See little one, you aren’t the only one cared, errr….umm……” Maks said not sure of the girls name, assuming it was the same one but couldn’t remember what they had said her name was. 

“Lena.” Miss Callie supplied. 

“Lena is scared too. I know you want me or Momma or Addie but do you think you can work with Lena and see if you can try to be not so scared together.” Clara looked at the little girl beside her. She had long dark black hair and was wearing a similar jumper with a Frozen bracelet on. 

“Look you two even match.” Peta said coming up behind them. 

“I’m scared too Clara. We can be scared together.” 

“And I’ll be right there with you too. Maybe you two can even be either my special helper today or help Miss Lindsay. That way you’ll have a big person with you all morning. Would that help?” Miss Callie said softly. Clara shrugged in response. 

“Buttercup, do you think you can try for Papa and me? After school we can maybe go get lunch together and see Anya? That way you’ll have something to look forward to?” Peta said resorting to a bribe. 

“Panera?” Clara asked softly. 

“We can do Panera.” Maks said with a chuckle. 

“I don’t want to but I’ll try.” Clara said reaching for Lena’s hand deciding that maybe sticking with the other little girl was a good idea. 

“I’m so proud of you baby. Momma and I will see you in a little bit.” Maks said kissing her once more before helping her off his knee and letting her go in with Miss Callie and Lena. This time it felt a little better even though it was clearly tense. 

“You okay?” Peta asked Maks. She had been more worried about Addie when they went through this with her but she knew the bond Maks and Clara had was something and knew he’d be extra worried about her. 

“I’ll be better when this day is over. That scared the hell out of me Peta. I didn’t want to leave her here kicking and screaming. That just feels wrong.” 

“I agree. I’m glad the other little girl wanted to come out and help. I hope that works in her favor. I know she’s scared but she’s so sweet and smart as it is. I feel like she’ll love this once she gets past the fear of being away from us.” 

“I agree. Let’s get out of here so we can maybe get the time to pass quick.”

“Okay, I need to call Sharna and make sure she and Anya are available to visit later.” Peta said as she wrapped her arm around her husband's waist and tucked into him giving him a squeeze as they headed out. 

“I didn’t think you have checked before hand.” Maks said laughing at his wife's quick little lie. 

“I didn’t, I don’t think they were doing anything today since Sharna said to have both girls call when they got home to see how their days went. Just a little different take on that.” Peta said once as they got in the car. She called her best friend who said they could even meet them for lunch if they wanted and let the two play for a while after. Peta accepted and said she’d see them at 12:30. She and Maks took care of some office stuff before going to get Clara finally. She was still a ball of nerves but Miss Callie said that she and Lena had played a little bit and participated in circle time. She introduced them to Lena’s parents and they swapped numbers so they could maybe get the girls set up in some play dates to help with their friendship and school fears. Clara refused to really talk about her day so Maks and Peta let her be. She perked up some while playing with Anya but then resumed her quietness once they were home moving between Maks and Peta staying glued to them. There were continued tears at night and in the mornings for the next few weeks but she slowly started to adjust and eventually enjoyed school only to have Christmas break come around and end up back at square one. This time it didn’t take as long for her to adjust and she began to really enjoy school. 

***Done! Okay, so I could have kept going and going with this one. I’ve been working on it for a few days so hopefully those of you that are still here enjoy. I’ll open up requests since it seems like this quarantine thing may last a bit. I can’t promise I’ll get to them all but I’ll do my best. You can request off any of my old stuff (Begin Again, Fix a Heart, Song Requests, Quote Requests, or here in A Time to Grow). Don’t forget to comment and let me know what ya thought! 

[chmergess4ever]

Oh yes. Go for it I definitely like it if there is more chmergatroyd fanfiction blog. The only good I know of at the moment is sarahjane0886 but she's on a social media break now so I've been missing my fix of chmergatroyd fanfiction.

I’ll definitely consider making a blog and writing more fan fiction for them!! Thank you so much for your words! Means so much to me and I;m glad you are liking my fics. For now, I’m writing a story called “The Chermkovskiy’s”. If you want to check that one out, it’s for both Sharna/Val and Maks/Peta. I’m trying to add more and more chmergatroyd in each chapter! 

[lover-dreamer]

Beta Reader

Hi, looking for a beta reader for a chmergatroyd fanfiction, if interested send me a message, the story is in the beginning stages, but I already have the prologue and the first chapter complete.

[socialcyanide]

I don't know if you saw, but there is a video that Peta gets off the stage and hugs a little girl, and val gets off to and kiss the girl's forehead. I would love a fanfic on that happens but the kid being Peta and Maks'

Daddy’s Here

Chmergatroyd

G

“Misha,” Peta said in a sing-song tone, sitting on the living room floor a foot away from her infant son.

Misha, laying on his tummy, let out a string of happy syllables and drooled all over a quilt patterned cloth ball.

“Come on Mish-beese,” Peta sang, enthusiastically clapping her hands. “Crawl to Mommy.”

Misha flailed on his belly and flapped his arms, smiling up at her before getting distracted by a piece of lint on the floor.

“Mishey,” Peta sang as she pried the lint out of Misha’s chubby fist, the infant protesting loudly until she presented him with his ball.

Peta sat back on her heels and watched her son roll onto his back, merrily talking away in a language she didn’t speak. She reached out and caressed his head, sweeping his wispy brown curls out of his eyes. He tilted his face back and smiled up at her, drool pouring over the tiny lumps of baby teeth poking out of his gums. She looked up at the sound of heavy footsteps followed by delighted high-pitched shirking. She gathered Misha in her arms and stood up just as Maks bounded into the room with Nicoletta on his shoulders. Misha waved his arms at his father and let out a loud exclamation of recognition.

“Hey,” Peta said softly, leaning over and gently kissing her husband.

He pressed his forehead against hers and they simply breathed together for a moment; Nicoletta giggling and squirming, Misha bending and twisting towards his father. Maks took Misha and kissed him wetly before lifting him into the air to make him laugh.

“Mish!” Nicoletta cried, throwing her arms up every time her brother soared past her.

He handed the babbling infant back to Peta, reached up for Nicoletta, and set the toddler on her feet. Screaming at top volume, Nicoletta, dressed in a matching pink smock and legging, ran haphazardly around the living room while Maks “chased” her.

“Daddy!” she screamed, excitedly dancing in place before dashing around the room again.

Peta set Misha, in his Dance With Me onesie and striped red and white pants, and on the floor by the sofa and crouched down beside him, watching as he rolled alternately onto his back and his belly. He pulled a stuffed pink rabbit off of the sofa and proceeded to drool all over one of the paws, his prattling muffled behind the soft fabric.

“Catch, Daddy!” Nicoletta said, giggling and jumping up and down.

Maks let out a comical roar and pounced, scooping her up and covering her face with kisses; filling the cozy room with her ecstatic shrieking laughter. Peta softly rubbed Misha’s back while watching Maks play with Nicoletta, her eyes crinkling at the sight of him so happy. He glanced over and caught her eye ; they held each others gaze, silently communicating their shared bliss. The spell was broken by Nicoletta’s tiny growl as she pounced on her father’s back. Maks winked at Peta before wrestling with his daughter.

When a car pulled into the drive Maks, with Nicoletta in his arms, went to the picture window to see who had arrived.

“Look who’s here solnyshko, Auntie Nicole,” he told the toddler as he set her down, her curly blonde pigtails bouncing.

“Aunt ‘cole, Aunt ‘cole,” Nicoletta exclaimed, jumping up and down in excitement.

While Maks went to get the door Nicoletta ran around the room boisterously humming one of the songs from her parents’ latest production. Peta picked Misha up before the toddler had a chance to accidentally step on him and sat down on the sofa. Misha smiled at her through the endless drool and booped his head on her chest. Nicoletta launched herself at her mother’s legs, giving them a hug and beaming up at her.

“Hi baby,” Peta said lifting Nicoletta onto her lap.

The toddler wiggled her way onto the sofa and hugging Peta’s side. Peta reached over and tickled her daughter’s back.

“Are you being a cuddle bug?” she asked.

Nicoletta just smiled and crashed her face against Peta’s side.

“The kids are basically ready,” Maks said, walking back into the living room with Nicole. “Pete and I need some time to get ready though.”

“Whatever you need,” Nicole replied, surveying the serene scene.

“Aunt 'cole,” Nicoletta exclaimed joyously.

She climbed off the sofa and ran over, throwing her arms around the legs of her namesake.

“Hey monkey,” Nicole said, softly rubbing the toddler’s back.

Nicoletta cocked her head to the side and asked, “Stay?”

“Yeah,” Nicole said, smiling at Maks and Peta sharing a quiet, exhausted moment together on the sofa, Misha sitting contentedly between them. “I’m gonna stay with you for mommy and daddy’s show.”

                                          **********

For this being the babies first show, and opening night of a production that Maks and Peta had spent months working on, everything, at first, went surprisingly well. The show was sold out, no one had called in sick, and the pre-show injuries were minimal. The babies had spent almost every day for the last six months in this theater and were as familiar with it as they were with their home. During the rehearsal process Peta had often worn Misha in a baby carrier, keeping him close while she choreographed and practiced dances. Nicoletta liked nothing more than when her father brought her on stage and they danced together. The theater was a safe place for them but all these new people, bustling around, talking and taking pictures, made them uncomfortable and before long both the babies were cranky and fussing. Noting this from the wings of the stage Maks and Peta took turns sitting with them while the other rallied their fellow dancers for opening night. Peta discreetly slipped down and played with the babies for a while before having to hurry into hair and makeup. Then Maks sat on the rug they’d brought from home with both babies in his arms, reading to them while the theater filled up around them.

“Babe,” Peta said softly, appearing on the side of the stage wearing a fluffy gray bathrobe over her costume, her hair neatly coiffed, makeup perfect. “It’s about to start.”

Maks kissed his children and set Misha on the rug.

“More Daddy read,” Nicoletta said, holding a clump of his shirt in a death grip as he tried to get up.

“Not right now, angel,” Maks replied, carefully prying her fingers off his shirt. “Daddy’s gotta go dance.”

“Me dance,” Nicoletta replied, hurrying to follow after him on her chubby little legs.

“Not now princess,” Maks said, bending down to hug her. “We’ll dance later.”

Misha began to cry; Nicole picked up him but he twisted violently away from her, crying harder and reaching for Peta. The crowd cheered as Peta descended the steps of the stage, ignoring their calls for pictures as she made her way over to her family. Maks picked up Nicoletta and handed her to Peta then dashed up the stairs and disappeared behind the curtain. Nicoletta sobbed loudly on her mother’s shoulder.

“Daddy,” she sobbed, reaching toward the stage for him.

With Nicoletta held tightly in one arm, Peta picked up Misha with the other; holding both of her crying children, she was at a loss for what to do.

“They’ll be okay,” Nicole said, gently rubbing the babies backs. “Once the show starts they’ll be fine.”

Peta continued to hold them as they slowly quieted, speaking softly and singing to them until they were at ease. When the lights in the theater dimmed she gave them both a cuddle and handed them back to Nicole; she slipped away quickly, hoping that the stage lights and opening dancers would distract them.

“Mama,” she could hear Nicoletta call out, breaking her heart.

“Maks,” she said quietly, reaching for her husband as soon as she reached the darkened backstage area.

He folded her against him and rocked them together; neither had to say anything, their feelings were exactly the same.

“Babe,” Peta said, drawing her hand languidly across his bare chest. “This isn’t going to work.”

“Give them time,” Maks replied, pressing a kiss to her hand.

“I think time is just going to make it worse,” she replied, pulling a corner of the curtain back.

She sighed and let the curtain fall back into place, her heart breaking again.

“Nicky’s throwing a tantrum,” she said.

“She does that,” Maks replied, gently pulling his wife towards the back wall in an effort to stay out of the way of the dancers making their way to the stage.

“We should get them out of here,” Peta said, wrapping her hand around his bicep.

“Lets just see if this works,” Maks replied, lightly patting her side. “If it doesn’t we’ll try something else.”

She wavered for a moment, wanting so badly to comfort her children.

“Fine,” she replied in surrender.

Maks gave her a squeeze.

“You’d better get ready, mama,” he said as the stage lights went up.

Miraculously the show went off without a hitch. All the new numbers went over well with the audience and the old favorites earned generous cheers and applause. Maks and Peta kept a close eye on their babies from behind the curtain, watching as Misha rubbed his eyes and fell asleep on Nicole’s lap while Nicoletta clapped her hands and pointed out the dancers she recognized.  

“Unky,” Peta saw Nicoletta say when Val took the stage to thunderous applause.

“That’s right,” Nicole said, cuddling Nicoletta.

“You see,” Maks whispered in Peta’s ear, his arms snaking around her. “They’re fine.”

“Alright,” she replied, a grin spreading across her face.

“You ready?” he asked as the number on stage ended.

“To dance with you?” Peta asked, glancing up at him with an enticing smirk. “Always.”

He pressed a long kiss to the side of her face, her fingers traveling up his arm.

“Hey lovebirds,” Val shouted as he dashed off stage. “You’re on.”

Misha stayed asleep during his parents cha cha, Nicoletta clapping and cheering wildly. She tried to wriggle out of Nicole’s arms when their dance ended, confused as to why she wasn’t allowed to go up to them. Maks blew her a kiss as he and Peta ran off stage; giggling, she waved after them until the next number began. They peeked out from behind the curtain during the intermission, trying to ascertain how the babies were doing without them noticing. Misha was awake and drooling on his cardboard picture book while Nicoletta was busy playing peek-a-boo with the person sitting behind her. Heaving a sigh of relief, the anxious parents ran hand in hand to get ready for act two.

The second act was filled with familiar scenes and characters from Swayand Dancing with the Stars and they were lucky enough to have many of the original dancers bringing those well loved routines to life again. When next they stepped on stage, along side Sharna, for the Barr Rumba they tried very hard not to look at the corner of the first row but despite how hard they tried they could still hear their little girl calling, “Mommy, Daddy,” and see her straining to get to them. Maks pulled Peta close as soon as they got off stage, peering through an edge of the curtain at their daughter despondently crying.

“This is hard,” Peta said, training her eyes on her husband.

“You’re telling me,” Maks replied, rubbing his hand up and down her back. “That’s our baby girl.”

“This was a bad idea,” Peta said, watching her daughter sleepily rub her eyes and hiccup through her continued sobs.

“You’re right,” Maks replied, taking a step towards the stage. “Lets go get them.”

“You guys aren’t dressed yet?” Jenna asked, walking casually over. “The final number’s starting.”

They exchanged a defeated glance before dashing off for the world’s quickest fast change.

Nicoletta’s sobs distressed her brother who began to whimper suspiciously, as if he felt that something wasn’t quite right but he couldn’t put his finger on just what. Maks and Peta ran full out to the other side of the stage, buttoning and zipping their costumes as they went and plastered smiles on their faces as they gracefully took the stage. Among the whistles and applause they could hear a wail coming from the corner of the front row. It soared above the music, above the beating of their own hearts, blocking out all else. They performed mechanically, going through the motions of their favorite routine on autopilot, failing to stay focused on the energetic audience in the crowded theater; both babies now sobbing heartily. The moment the dance ended they raced across the stage, with Val right behind, while the rest of the cast began final bows. Nicole let go of Nicoletta who wobbled over to the stairs, sobbing so hard that air barely had a chance to get in her lungs. Peta got to her first, crouching down and pulling the little girl into her arms. She flung her arms around her mother’s neck and held on, tears still pouring down her chubby cheeks. While Maks picked up Misha Val crouched down beside Peta, rubbing Nicoletta’s back and pressing kisses into her messy curls.

“You guys,” Jenna called from the stage. “You were incredible tonight. Come take a bow.”

Peta stood up with Nicoletta in her arms; Val rubbed his niece’s back one more time before jumping back on stage for his characteristicly zealous bows. She waited for Maks to catch up, his hands shielding Misha’s face from cameras and stage lights; together they returned to the stage and took their bows.

Instead of lingering on stage or wandering into the audience to greet their fans Maks and Peta made a beeline for the greenroom before the curtain had even closed. Maks helped Peta with her top and she nursed a fussying Misha; his tiny fist clutching a strand of her hair. Maks sat on the greenroom couch next to her, holding Nicoletta who refused to let go. Every time he so much as moved she screamed, “No leave, Daddy!” at the top of her lungs.

“It’s okay baby,” Peta said, scrunching her free hand on her daughter’s back.

Maks cradled her head, vowing never to let go.

“Daddy’s here.”

[carolynnicole715]

Chmergatroyd Fanfics

These are not my Fanfics, but other incredible Writers. If you know of any others send them to me and I’ll add them to the list. The list will be updated as more fics are posted.

socialcyanide

- It’s Been a Long Day 

- All My Dreams Have Come True

Chmergatroyd (on wattpad)

- Sway

Sunjumper12 (on wattpad)

-Your Heart

- A time to grow

-Positive

- Doctor

Dwtslover613 (on wattpad)

-Fiji

- Happy Birthday (Mak’s Birthday)

-Birthday Surprise (Peta’s Birthday)

-Our Getaway 

-When we’re older

- The Proposal 

- Harsh Words (this should a fun one to be on tumblr) 

- Getting Back Together

- He kissed me 

- Like 2012 again

- Our Little Family

- Ella

- It’s a surprise

Australia is too far away 

- Saying Goodbye

- The long awaited return

- Well now what

- The Parents

When Everything Changes

- The calm before the storm

- Is she okay?

- All mine

- Welcome Home

[sarahjane0886]

Begin Again 12

Chapter 12

"Are you sure you're okay keeping Mav?" Sharna asked as she worked on curling her hair.

"Babe, yes, stop asking me that. He'll be fine. Maks is gonna come over and we're going to do we're going to take them to the park, then dinner and ice cream. He got a new movie. He'll help with bedtime and then once they are asleep, we'll tuck them in. Mav has the mattress in Lottie's room. And if anything happens we'll call you guys. Stop worrying, it's going to be okay."

"I know, I just....I want this to go good."

"And it will. You guys need this. It's going to be good. I promise." Peta said reaching forward and squeezing Sharna's hand.

"I hope, does this look alright?" Sharna said as she finally finished her hair. She turned to look at Peta for approval. Her and Noah were going on their first official date that evening and after, they were going to go back to his house for the night. Peta had said she'd keep Maverick for Noah so he and Sharna could focus on them and do whatever they wanted.

"Gorgeous, Noah is going to love it. Are you still wearing the black dress you picked out?" Peta asked. They had a girls day yesterday and went shopping and primping. It was one of the first times they took Lottie out to do it and she had loved it. Sharna had found a black dress that came to her knees and had a sheer lace overlay over the top. The lace was detailed beautifully. It was fitted through the body while the bottom flared out just slightly. She also had a white and gray one but Peta had picked the black one from the beginning.

"I think so. I gotta do my makeup and throw my bag together and then I'll decide for sure."

"Alright, you want me to stay or you want quiet time?" Peta asked. She knew that sometimes she wanted distraction and sometimes she needed to think.

"No, stay. I just. Yeah, stay. I'm almost done. He should be here in 20 right?" Sharna asked. Noah was picking her up around 4 since he wanted to take her to dinner a little ways out of town and have some fun before they returned to the house for some them time.

"Yeah, in about 20. What are you taking for pajamas?" Peta said with a wink.

"Both?"

"Good thinking, although I'll bet you don't need anything other than that dress."

"P!"

"What, he's an attractive man. You're an attractive lady. That dress is smoking. Enjoy yourself. Have some fun."

"Oh my god, I should have sent you downstairs." Sharna said as her cheeks turned as red as her hair.

"I'm just teasing you. Here, give me your bag, go get dressed." Peta said taking the pile of stuff Sharna already had stacked on the bed. Sharna threw her the bag she was going to use which was actually Peta's and took the dress and headed into the bathroom. Peta packed while Sharna dressed.

"Well?" Sharna said finally appearing in the doorway. Peta turned around and her eyes got wide. "I mean I can wear the other one."

"No, no, no. Babe, you look stunning. Oh my goodness. The dress looked good in the store, but this, with your hair and your shoes. Babe, Noah is going to melt."

"Honestly, you think it's that good? Do you think I need a necklace?" Sharna said checking herself in the mirror. She was suddenly feeling very shy and indecisive. Two things she wasn't used to feeling.

"Babe, what's wrong?" Peta said looking at her best friend. There was something going on in her head and she could see it.

"I don't know, I just, I'm nervous. I want this to be perfect P. I've never been nervous like this before. It's not an oh my god, this might fall to pieces nervous, it's more of a giddy, excited, want this to work perfectly nervous." Sharna said as her hands started to fidget.

"Whoa babe. First breath. Second, i get it. It's actually how I felt when I first started dating Ollie. Everything was heightened. It'll settle. I promise. When you close your eyes, think about what you want out of this. I promise, it'll come to you." Peta said as she held Sharna's hands tightly in her own and squeezed. Sharna's eyes closed and she breathed deep a few times. She concentrated on what she wanted out of tonight and knew that Peta was right. It was different and that's why she was scared. It wasn't cause of Noah, it was becasue it was real.

"Better?" Peta asked after a few minutes.

"Yeah, thanks P."

"Anytime. Now the necklace. I think it could do either way, but it would be a nice touch. I have that kinda tight gold chain so it wouldn't lay on the lace, how about that?"

"Let's try it." Sharna said as she followed Peta to her room. She found the necklace quickly and hooked it on for her friend.

"I like it." Peta said moving so Sharna could see in the mirror.

"Me too." She said as the doorbell rang. Her eyes widened, making Peta laugh.

"Come on babe, let's go get your guy." Sharna nodded and followed Peta down the steps, Maks was working on letting Noah in while he held a giggling Lottie upside down.

"Hey man, the girls are, right here." He said as his eyes widened at Sharna's dress. Even he had to admit that she looked stunning.

"Hey, Shar, honey, you look beautiful." He stammered.

"Flowers." Maverick said as he interrupted the adults and made his way over to Sharna. He held a tiny boquet of daisies for his favorite lady.

"Aww, buddy, are these for me?"

"For my Sha-na." He said with a shy grin. Sharna accepted them and then scooped Maverick up to give him some hugs and kisses.

"Thank you Mav.  I love them."

"Ahem, well hopefully that means you'll love these too." Noah said as he moved to his son and Sharna. He held out a much larger boquet of flowers this time. It included roses, lilies, daisies.

"Noah." She said breathlessly at first. She smiled and went to take them but Maverick was glued to her.

"I can hold them." He said however he leaned close enough to put a simple kiss to her lips. "You do look stunning."

"Thank you." She said smiling happily.

"Are you ready?" He asked.

"Yup. I am. Peta has my bag."

"Here Noah, I'll swap." Peta said taking the flowers from him as well as what she assumed was Maverick's bag while handing him Sharna's. She took Sharna's flowers from Maverick too.

"Alright buddy, are you going to be good for Miss Peta and Uncle Maks?" Noah asked. Maverick however had other ideas.

"No, no weave Sha-na." He said as he wrapped his arms around her neck tightly. Sharna bit her lip. She had been worried about this.

"Buddy, we are going to be back in the morning and remember tomorrow you, are coming with me and daddy for the whole day?" Sharna said as she rubbed his back gently. She swayed slowly.

"But I miss you." He said into her neck.

"I'll miss you too little man but how about when it's bedtime, Uncle Maks or Miss Peta calls us and we can tell you goodnight?"

"Pwomise?" He said almost so softly that she nearly missed it.

"I promise. Pinky." She said holding up her pinky for him and letting him link his with hers. He buried back into her neck for a minute as she cuddled him as well. Then she kissed his cheek before handing him over to Noah. Noah said goodbye to him as well, including the same promises that Sharna had along with a pinky promise as well. Then the two were off leaving, the kids and Maks and Peta alone.

"Okay, whose's ready for our adventure?" Peta asked as she saw Maverick's lip trembling.

"Venture?" He asked curious as Lottie held tight to her hand.

"Yup, we're going to go to a new park and play and have dinner." Maks said.

"It even has a pirate ship!" Peta added.

"Like Tink ship?" Lottie asked immediately. She had seen Peter Pan a few times however was slightly more enthralled with the sassy fairy than she was with the boys.

"Exactly. Just like Tinkerbell's ship."

"Tay, Mav we pay?" Lottie asked holding her hand out to her buddy. He still clung to Maks however still a bit upset that his dad and Sharna had honestly left him.

"It's okay buddy. We're actually going to drive to the park. So we have to go get in the car. And I think Uncle Maks said we might get ice cream later." Peta said as she scooped up Lottie. She caught the little boy's eyes light up as he looked at his uncle. Maks nodded making Maverick smile.

"We have everything already right?" Maks asked Peta.  They had attempted to get everything ready earlier in the day figuring that they may need a quick distraction for Maverick once his two favorite adults left.

"Yup, do you two need to go potty?" Peta said looking at her daughter knowingly. It never failed that as soon as they put her in the car, she'd need to use the bathroom.

"Uh huh." Maverick said as he rested on Maks. He was much calmer now however you could tell that he still wasn't too keen on the situation.

"Alright. That's okay. Little miss you need to go try though." Peta said taking her and headed towards the bathroom. Once she returned they got the kids settled in the car and headed out to the playground. It was about 20 minutes away and they let the kids pick the music which consisted mainly of songs from the latest Disney movies. Once they got there, they got the kids out.

"Whoa, this is much bigger than I remembered. There only used to be the pirate ship thing." Maks said as he helped Peta get both kids out of the car. There were 3 play sets at the park, one of them being the pirate ship set up. The other one was regular while the last one was set up like a castle with the slides coming out of the turrets.

"It is huge. Okay you two, you have to stay with us." Peta said slightly nervous at the space and number of families there.

"Right. you can't run off. We'll make sure you play with everything. You guys can take turns picking." Maks said looking at Peta. He could see her anxiety on her face and knew he was going to need to assist in keeping the kids together.

"What do you two want to do first?" Peta asked praying that they'd say the same thing.

"Ship!!" They both said pointing and she breathed a sigh of relief. They headed toward the ship. Maks stole the backpack from her that had a few water bottles and snacks just incase as well as other things. She tried to keep it but he waved her off easily as he slipped it on. They spent the next hour and a half letting the kids take turns picking activities. Finally it was dinner time.

"More wings!" Lottie fussed as they put the kids in the car.

"We'll come back miss. We'll bring Aunt Sharna and Mr. Noah okay?" Maks said as he buckled her in, making sure that her straps were tight before moving to Maverick.

"Noo." She said as she started to cry. Maverick looked at her and held his hand out to her but she wouldn't take it.

"It's okay buddy. That was sweet of you though. She's just a little sad." Maks explained at the hurt look on Maverick's face.

"Kay." He said softly, grinning as Maks tickled him lightly.

"She's hungry. I think. Or I hope." Peta said as she looked at her daughter who was still sobbing quietly as she reached for the park.

"Me too. We still doing the chicken place for dinner?" Maks asked as he started towards what they had already agreed on.

"Yeah, they both like the chicken so that's easy. And there's that ice cream place beside it."

"Aksssss. Need you." Lottie whimpered from the backseat.

"In a minute sugar. We're almost there." Maks said as he finally caught her eye in the rearview. Peta watched the exchange with a twinge of guilt but relief at the same time. She checked on Maverick who was quietly watching out the window. They finally made it to dinner and Peta let Maks get Lottie while she got Maverick.

"Lottie sad?" Mav asked Peta once she had him in her arms.

"She is. I think she's a little cranky since she's hungry and ready for dinner." Peta said with a wink.

"Unca Maks fix it?" Maverick asked Peta as he watched Maks cuddle Lottie into him. She started to settle once she was in the man's arms.

"It looks like he is." Peta said softly.

"Lottie love Unca Maks?

"She does buddy she does. Just like you love Uncle Maks." She said ruffling his hair before setting him down to walk next to her. The group headed in and they ordered before finding a booth. Lottie refused to leave Maks so Maverick hung out with Peta. He was a bit skeptical at first since he hadn't spent too much time with her since he was always with Sharna whenever he could be. Once they ate, Lottie was a little calmer however Maks did tell Peta she felt warm.

"I hope she's not getting sick." Peta said with a look. She started work next week and Lottie started daycare as well. Peta couldn't send her to daycare sick.

"I hope not too. Do you need to give her anything?"

"Not yet, I'll see how she is at bedtime. She was upset and everything and has stayed tucked into you. Not likely that it's that but I hate giving her things if she doesn't need it."

"Right, I understand. Do you want to skip ice cream and just head home?"

"They are not going to forget ice cream. I think it's fine. We'll just get them home and get them in jammies and do a movie right away if that's okay with you. I know you have Louis and everything so if you need to go to him you can."

"No, it's fine. I had Louis out all morning with Lottie while I  kept her for you. I told you I'd help you tonight. I'm all yours. Err, I mean...you know what I meant." Maks said trying to fix his slip.

"I know. I just I don't want to take you away from anything." She said with a shrug.

"You're not. Let me help, okay?" He said not sure where the sudden bout of stubbornness had come from on Peta's part.

"Okay." She nodded before looting at the kids. "Who's ready for ice cream?"

"Meeee!" They both yelled excitedly. Peta winked at Maks as they gathered the kids and headed to the ice cream shop next door. A half hour later, they were taking two sticky little kids out to the car.

"Looks like we're having bath time before movie time." Peta said with a grin.

"I'd say so." Maks said laughing. He did his best to buckle the kids in without ending up covered as well but it was kind of a lost cause. They headed to Peta's and got the kids ready for bed before settling on the couch to watch a movie. Maverick curled up next to his uncle which set Lottie off almost immediately.

"Nooooo." She wailed from the middle of the living room as she realized Maverick was with Maks.

"What's wrong baby?" Peta said moving to pick her up. She threw herself on the floor however instead and began to scream.

"No. No. No. No." She yelled again and again.

"Baby, Momma can't fix it unless you tell me what's wrong?" Peta said sitting next to her.

"Want Aks....." She finally wailed and Peta put her head back nearly laughing.

"Sweetheart, is that why you're crying?"

"Mav sit aks. Lottie want Aks." She whimpered sadly.

"Baby, you both can sit with Maks. I think Maverick will share, right Mav?" Peta said looking at him.

"I shares Unca Maks with yous Lottie. Come here." He called her. She looked for a second and Peta thought for sure she was going to lose it again at having to share Maks but she went for the two instead. Maks pulled her up and helped her get situated.

"She's still hot." He said softly to Peta.

"I'm gonna go grab Tylenol. I mean I know she's been glued to you lately but that was a bit out of the ordinary for her. Tired or not."

"Okay. I mean maybe it's just teething?" Maks asked with a shrug. He knew and loved Maverick but didn't know what the different ailments could be for the little ones.

"Let's hope. I can't send her to daycare for the first day, sick." She said standing up and walking away. She brought the medicine back and gave it to Lottie. They started the movie and Lottie fell asleep pretty quickly. Maverick however shifted over to Peta and made it to nearly the end of the movie before falling asleep as well.

"Someone forgot about calling Sharna and Daddy." Maks said as they made their way back down the stairwell after tucking the kids in.

"That he did. I'm gonna text them real quick and just let them know he's alright. Irony is Shar will probably worry more than Noah."

"You're not kidding. It's the "new" thing." Maks said air quoting the word new. Peta knew exactly what he meant. Ever since Sharna and Noah had decided they were going to try this thing out, Sharna had developed this extreme mother sense for Maverick. It was adorable at times but you could also tell it was more intense than usual.

"Oh you're right. Are you staying for awhile? Or you leaving me?" Peta asked as she laid her phone down. She had snapped a picture of Mav snuggled into her before they had taken them up which was what she sent Sharna and Noah letting them know that he was safe and happy.

"That's up to you. I don't want to do anything you're not comfortable with." Maks said. He wanted to spend time with her but he also didn't want to be pushy and hurt her in the process.

"Stay. Do you wine? I was going to have a glass." She asked moving to the kitchen.

"I wine, I'll wine with you." He followed her. She handed him the wine and opener while she pulled down two glasses. He served them and then she lead them back into the living room. Tye both settled on the sofa, she on one end and him on the other.

"I know you're going to say to be quiet but thank you for being you with Lottie. I still feel guilty when it comes down to it but I do appreciate it. I know she misses Ollie and misses having that dad figure."

"Well it's not necessary but you're welcome. She makes it easy. She's a sweetheart. You can tell she's had a lot of love and support in her life. I think despite the fact that she's lost that, she's going to be a great kid and she has you to thank for that."

"I can't say I agree but I appreciate the idea. But I feel like you know all this stuff about us because of everything. I want to know more about you. Tell me a Maks story. Tell me about your family." She said as she curled into her end of the sofa.

"What about?" He asked looking at her with a grin.

"I don't know. You pick. Something happy." She said curling her legs under her as well.  

"Alright. Hmm, I don't think I've really talked to you about my brother much have I?"

"Umm, you really only have told me about the studio and that your momma would punish you if you didn't treat a lady right. I don't even know that I knew you had a brother." Peta said was a grin.

"Okay, well that's what we'll go with. There's 6 years between us so it's always been quite the relationship. We shared a bedroom and bunk bed clear up until I was 21. Then I moved out only to start helping with a different studio."

"Wow, so you two are pretty close then?"

"Very. It's been awhile since I've seen him actually. I need to get him to get his butt down here." Maks said.

"Yes you do. Or go to him. What's his name?"

"Valentin."

"Ohh."

"But we call him Val usually. Momma is the only one who says Valentin and that means he's in trouble." Maks said laughing. He paused for a few moments before launching into a story about when Val and him were younger and they had gotten into a mess of trouble. The two were giggling ridiculously by the end of the story. Peta then began to tell a story about her and her brother, Sam, who was still in Australia. Her story was interrupted by a huge crash of thunder.

"Shit, Lottie." Peta said bouncing up. Lottie was full out terrified of thunderstorms. She would panic and shake relentlessly whenever one went down so Peta knew this wasn't going to go over well.

"What?" Maks asked jumping up with her. They were both met with a shrill shriek. Peta took off up the steps with Maks right behind her. By the time he made it to the bedroom, Peta already had Lottie up in her arms swaying her trying to calm her however the little one was having none of it. She wasn't hysterical, Maks could see she was just terrified. Maverick had woken up in the process as well, looking confused as ever and worried about Lottie.

"Unca Aks?" He whispered holding his arms up to his Uncle.

"Come here buddy, it looks like Lottie is afraid of the storm. You think we can help her feel better?" Maks said as Maverick rested his head on his shoulder. While Maverick wasn't terrified of storms he wasn't fond of them either. Maks figured distracting him was the safest best. He nodded his head so Maks moved over to the two ladies.

"It's okay baby, it's just the big booms remember?" Peta said as she swayed slowly rubbing Lottie's back in unison.

"No like, no like, no like." Lottie said miserably. She yelped as another clap echoed through the house a long with a burst of lightening.

"I know sweetheart, I know. You're safe though. Look you have momma, Maverick, and Mr. Maks." Peta said as she tried to settle her some.

"Aks. Keep Lottie safe." Lottie said picking her head up as the tears continued to fall. "And momma, and mav."

"I'm right here miss. You're safe. I promise. We're all safe."

"Hold hers." Lottie said reaching for him.

"Okay, come here baby." Maks said catching her easily. He shifted Maverick slightly guessing he wasn't going to go to Peta at the moment. Lottie buried into his neck but held her hand out for Peta as well.

"Momma, hand." She whimpered as her body shook against Maks.

"I'm right here love. We're all right here." Peta said letting her take her hand. Maverick ended up reaching across Maks and putting his hand on Lottie too. The 4 stood there for awhile as the booms and flashes continued to fill the room.

"It has to stop soon." Maks said looking at Peta.

"She's not going to settle even then. She's going to be glued to one of us for the night." Peta said knowingly. Maks nodded, not necessarily minding but trying to figure out how they were going to work this. He remembered something that he used to do with Val when they were younger and wondered if that would help.

"Do you have extra blankets? Like sheets and that?"

"Umm, yeah. I have a few extra pairs, why?"

"How would you two like to build a fort? We can camp in the living room, that way we all stay together?" Maks asked the two little ones.

"Tent?" Maverick asked knowingly from when Noah and Maks had taken him camping.

"Like a tent buddy."

"K." He nodded his head in agreement. Lottie however just buried further into Maks.

"Mav, can you go with Miss Peta and help her get the blankets? Lottie and I will get pillows and meet you in the living room. P, do you have flashlights?" He asked.

"Yeah, we can grab them too. They are actually in the kitchen. If you wanna grab the pillows out of mine and Sharna's rooms you can. Okay Mav, you ready to help?" Peta said leaning forward to take Maverick. He went with her willingly.

"Okay Miss Lottie, let's get some pillows for us. You want to camp out with me and Momma and Maverick?"

"You no go way." She said as her grip on his neck tightened. He paused his motions for a moment holding her tightly.

"I'm not going anywhere baby. I promise." Maks said pressing a kiss to her head.

"K. Lily and blankie." She pointed. The two lovies had gotten lost in her panic and were laying in her crib.

"Here you go. You hold them tight, okay?" Maks said handing them to her. Then he gathered a few of the pillows in her room, tossing them down the stairs before grabbing another batch from the guest room Sharna was staying in, followed by Peta's as well. He headed down with Lottie and started fixing the furniture so that they could make the fort. Peta and Maverick came in soon after and helped as well. Once everything was arranged they covered the furniture and chucked the pillows under makeshift tent.

"Go ahead buddy." Peta said as Maverick let her put him down and crawled in. She went after him followed by Maks and Lottie who still refused to release her grip on Maks. The storm had stopped by then however her shaking had not.

"Lottie, can you?" Maks said as he tried to get them situated. She tightened her hold on him however and he nearly laughed.

"That's a no." Peta said as she helped Maverick get snuggled into a blanket with his pillow.

"Momma" Lottie mumbled.

"I'm right here baby, I'm tucking in Maverick." Peta said as she got him all settled.

"Hold Lottie too, peas." She said sadly as she held her hand out. Peta looked between Maks and Maverick who was holding Peta's hand as well.

"Umm, Lottie, Momma..."

"Need hers too." Lottie fussed as her eyes filled with tears again.

"Okay, okay baby, I'm coming." Peta said. "I'm assuming you're keeping her for now?"

"Yeah, no use working her up, I'm fine." Maks said.

"Okay, can you get situated and then I'll just...well I'll have to lay next to you. And I'll just bring Maverick with me." Peta said as she surveyed their situation. They were already in tight corners as it was but this was tricky.

"You okay with that?" Maks asked as she shifted down keeping Lottie on him the whole time.

"I have to be. She's going to lose it. And she's not old enough that I can explain it." Peta said as she laid next to Maks before bringing Maverick over. He was basically half asleep so he barely noticed.

"Right." Maks said. Peta kept an eye on Maverick for a second until she was sure he was out before laying on her side facing Maks. Lottie was tucked into his chest with Lily and Blankie in her arms as she gripped Maks's shirt. She held her hand out for Peta who took it. this meant that Peta was resting almost near Maks's shoulder with her hand laying above his heart.

"Close your eyes lovebug. We're all right here." Peta said as she saw Lottie's eyes begin to close. Maks started to rub her back and it wasn't soon before she was out as well.

"You okay?" Maks asked looking at Peta.

"Yeah, I just don't like that I can't fix it when she's scared like that. However she's not really old enough to understand the words to explain it." She said as she shifted around trying to get comfortable.

"You're right. This is all you can do though, let her see she's honestly safe when it happens."

"Yeah." Peta said with a yawn.

"I guess we should try to sleep. There's no telling that there won't be another one." He said with a sigh.

"You're okay with her?" Peta asked.

"Yeah, she's fine."

"Okay." She shifted around a few more times trying to settle and sleep but all of a sudden it was like every bone in her body was pressing into the floor and she couldn't get comfortable. Maks watched her for quite some time trying to decide what to do before he finally decided he was going to do it.

"Come here." He said softly.

"What?" She said alarmed.

"Come here." He said again holding his arm out.

"Maks...." She said as she leaned up and looked at him.

"Nothing fancy, nothing else, just you need to sleep and clearly that's not happening now. If you get over here and it's not okay, we'll figure something else out."

"K." She said before sliding over to him. She rested her head on his shoulder as her arm came up to rest around Lottie. He wrapped his arm around her and settled it on her hip. He waited a few more moments before saying anything.

"You okay?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, goodnight Peta."

"Goodnight Maks." She said. It still took a little bit it wasn't long before sleep won and she drifted off to dreamland along with the other three.

**That's a wrap. Guess who's back! Maybe not permanently or well consistently but a lot of things have settled in life. Some changes may be coming that have been long anticipated and honestly needed. So as long as things continue to progress well, I'll have writing time again. I can't say there will be a schedule or that I'll update once a week but I'll try to not leave you guys again.

Thank you for sticking this out with me. I hope you enjoy this one! Don't forget to like it and let me know what you thought. Love you all!  

[sarahjane0886]

Begin Again 11

Chapter 11

"How would you two like to take Louis for a walk?" Maks asked Lottie and Maverick. The group had just finished dinner and now they were trying to leave Sharna & Noah alone.

"We see the ducks?" Lottie asked.

"I think we might, we'll have to look for them." Maks said as her face lit up.

"I come too?" Maverick asked.

"I think so, huh Lottie?"

"Yes, Mav come with us."

"What about us?" Noah asked.

"Well, how about Maks and I just take the kids?" Peta suggested.

"I, umm, might wanna talk to  you for a bit." Sharna murmured softly. Noah had noticed that she was extremely quiet the entire night. He had planned on trying to talk to her as well but hadn't wanted to push the issue while everyone was around.

"Okay, you good with going with Uncle Maks and Miss Peta, Mav?" He said lifting his arm and letting it rest on Sharna's shoulders.

"Yes, I haves fun." He said coming and hugging Noah's legs, then Sharna's before heading back to Maks and Peta. "Bye daddy, Bye Sha-na."

"Bye buddy, be good." They both said laughing. They got the Lottie & Maverick's shoes on and then headed out, leaving Sharna and Noah alone.

"You okay?" Noah asked once he was certain they were alone.

"Uh huh." Sharna's head shook back and forth as pulled her knees up. He thought she was going to pull away but she tipped into his body, her knees resting on his thighs while her head was on his shoulder.

"You want to talk about it?" He said as his hand dropped to her back and rubbed it softly.

"In a minute." She said softly finally feeling a sense of calm settle over her. She suddenly knew what Peta had meant when she had said to talk to Noah. If Noah could fix it, then it would mean a lot. And this, just having him beside her, was speaking volumes to her.

"Alright." He said as she pulled her in a little closer. He found her hand and squeezed it gently. She closed her eyes and breathed him in while she tried to sort out what she needed to say and do.

"Mav, asked me to not leave him today, and I told him I wouldn't, but I realized I was lying to him. And then all of this suddenly became huge to me."

"Well was he talking about the daycare or was he talking about more?" Noah asked gently, not wanting to discount her feelings or thoughts.

"The daycare, for sure, but at the same time it just clicked for me. I love him Noah. I already love him. And I don't want to leave him. I don't want to leave you."

"Sharna.."

"I know. That's what gets me. It's huge, and it's crazy. I can't just move halfway across the county to potentially date a man that I just met a little over a week ago."

"It's definitely huge, that's for sure."

"Yeah, and then my head spins. There's so many what ifs and what abouts that are mixed in that I just don't know. I don't know what to do. I panic. I feel it coming hard. He fell asleep on me this afternoon when they took their naps. And his arms around my neck, it felt so different. It's like he was afraid to let go. And that's when it really set in. Peta told me to talk to you and see what happened, but I don't even know what to talk about Noah. I don't think this is a fix it situation. I just have to make a decision." She said as she started to pull away from him but stopped realizing she didn't want to move away from his body.

"Hey, look at me for a second. You don't have to move but, just for a minute." He coaxed her. He could feel her hesitation when she started to pull away and quite frankly he didn't want to let her go either. This conversation was filling him with such anxiety as well and having her within reach was settling.

"Better?" She said as she tried to shift up so she could see his face. She couldn't get herself situated though and squirmed around a bit.

"Wait, will you lay down with me?" Noah finally asked realizing that neither of them were comfortable. She nodded and let go of him long enough for him to lay down and then pull her with him. Peta's couch wasn't that big so their bodies were pressed together but their faces were even.

"This I can deal with. Sorry, I just feel safer with you. The pieces that are so scary, seem to be less scary."  She whispered.

"So do I, so don't apologize. You were right, this conversation makes me want to vomit honestly. But I think we need to have it, sooner, rather than later." He said reaching up and tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.

"Why does it make you want to vomit?" She asked as she slithered a little closer to him if that was even possible. She suddenly needed to hear things from his perspective.

"I never thought I would be dealing with this again. When Kinsley left Maverick and I, I swore off women with the exception of those in my family. I promised that I would never let that happen again. I know I talked about this with you some already but I think you need to hear it all. Kinsley and I were together for 6 years. We met at the end of college and got together with the help of a few friends we had in common. From then on out, you might as well of called us Barbie and Ken. We were together always, we were happy, we were in love. I thought she was my forever. We got engaged on the anniversary of our 6th year. The day after was the day she found out she was pregnant. From that point on things changed, she stayed at work later, she kept her distance from me in the house, the closer she got to the end the more closed off she got. We fought some but I tried my hardest to not because I didnt want to work her up. Well one day close to the end of the pregnancy, I got a call from Kinsley's mom, she said that Kinsley had Mav and that she was signing away her rights along with giving back my engagement ring. That was basically it. She didn't clue me in, she didn't let me have my say, she just left us. It was rough. I immediately went to the hospital and the nurses let me see Mav. He was so tiny but so gorgeous that I immediately fell in love. There was no other thought than to raise him myself. Some people asked if I was going to give him up but I couldn't, I wouldn't. He's my world and I wouldn't have it any other way."

"Noah..." Sharna said softly. While he had been talking, his eyes had filled with tears numerous times. He collected himself each time and continued on with explaining to her. She knew it wasn't the whole story but what he had told her was huge.

"But so, that's why, I said no. Never again. But then you came and it was like a moth to a flame almost. But I wasn't getting burnt. And I wasn't panicking. And that may have scared me even more than when I did panic. And then I would remember that you were forever away and leaving in less than 20 days. And then I would think, this is stupid, I'm putting myself at risk of getting hurt and I'm putting Mav at risk of getting hurt but something in me, my gut said, it's gonna be okay."

"And has it been?" She asked softly.

"So far. I'm scared of you leaving, I'm scared of losing this calm you bring me but at the same time, I don't want to let it go." He said. He hesitated for a second but leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers kissing her softly. She returned the kiss and then slithered down and curled into him tightly.

"I'm afraid if I move here that we're going to implode and then I'll look like an idiot." She said into his chest.

"You're not going to look like an idiot. I can't promise that this will be all peaches and cream but I can promise that I won't just give up."

"I wouldn't either. And I wouldn't even think of this if I wasn't serious about it mainly because Maverick is already involved so I wouldn't want to hurt him. I mean I don't want to hurt you either but at the same time, we're adults. We make our own decisions, he's just gonna get caught in the fall if that occurs."

"I agree. And honestly, he's part of why I hesitated so much at first, even those first few days. I knew I liked you. I knew I felt something different that I didn't feel with Kinsley, it was more real, more honest, more concrete. But at the same time, I had Maverick, so I really had to weigh my thoughts and feelings when it came to you both. But there was this nagging feeling in the back of my head that said, it'll be alright."

"I feel that way too. I think my own insecurities take over though and out ride that voice that says this is what is right. Noah, if you'd have asked me a year ago, heck a month ago, if I was ready to settle down with someone who had a kid, I would have laughed in your face. I was always on the go. Traveling for work, going out, having a good time, whatever you thought of I probably did it. I didn't date anyone for long periods of time, no I wasn't out dating everyone but I was careful, I had more friends than I had boyfriends. I kept things platonic because I wasn't ready but just like you said, when I met you, there was something that said, maybe this is what you want. And then more time I spend with you and Maverick and everyone else, the more this feels better than the life I was living. This, right here, this is the life I want. I want to put Maverick to bed and then curl up with you. I want adventures to consist of going to the aquarium or movies. I want to see Maverick enjoy new things. I want to explore things with us as a couple. I want that. Originally I was afraid I wanted something new but yesterday, I had a friend call and ask if I wanted to go down to Puerto Rico when I came back. She had to go for a long weekend and she wanted a buddy to go with her. My immediate thought wasn't my old instinct to say yes, my immediate thought was well if I do go back, I need to be able to talk to Noah and Maverick. I need to figure things out so I can't go. I don't want to go."

"I don't want you to stop living your life for us." Noah said his mind immediately spinning to Kinsley.

"I'm not. I've had more than enough opportunities to live my life. I've had adventures on my own, now I want someone and a family to share them with. I want to share them with you." She said softly.

"So what comes next?" Noah asked accepting her answer. The way that she said it and looked at him at the same time, he knew she was serious. He knew she had thought it through and wasn't just looking for the next big adventure.

"I figure out if I can relocate. Well not if, but I figure out how. There's a lot of stuff that would need to be done. My job, my apartment, my puppies. This isn't going to be quick Noah." She said as she could feel her head begin to spin on a new handful of things.

"I know, but as long as we have something to look forward to, we can do it. There's Facetime, and calls and texting."

"You're sure, this is what you want?" She asked suddenly needed to hear him say that he wanted it. They had talked around it and about it but neither had straightforward said, I want this.

"I want this. I'm sure. Even if it explodes, I want this. We'll never know how great it could be if we don't try. And you want this too right?" He asked as his fingers ran through her hair.

"More than anything, I want this." She said as she finally pulled away and shimmied up the sofa to look at him, she leaned forward, pressing her lips to his as they kissed for quite sometime. There were interrupted but two little voices however.

"Ewwwww! Kissing!" Maverick and Lottie shrieked from the doorway as Maks and Peta looked on.

"What do you mean ewww? We kiss you guys!" Noah said, sitting him and Sharna up and moving to grab the two. he began to tickle them relentlessly as they shrieked in amusement. Peta smiled before looking over at Sharna to see how she was doing.

"You okay?" She mouthed silently. Sharna's head nodded in response before she joined in on the ticklefest too.

*That's a wrap! Next part will be more Chmergs, promise! Enjoy peeps, don't forget to like it up and let me know what you think. This one was a bit shorter but the next part will be a continuation of the night and I kinda want to keep the couples separate. Thanks for all your love and support, love you guys! xoxox

[sarahjane0886]

Begin Again 9

Chapter 9

“Momma, it time to go yet? Wanna see Elsa and Anna.” Lottie said as she bounced in front of her mother later that day. Peta had just gotten her cleaned up from playing out in the yard after her nap and had told her of the plans for the evening. The movie in the park ended up being Frozen 2 which was one of Lottie’s favorites.

“Almost baby, we have to wait for Maverick, Noah and Mr. Maks.” Peta said giggling.

“I take Olaf?” She asked quickly remembering the snowman.

“You can take your Olaf. Your big one or do you want to take your little box and we can put your little Frozen people in it?” Peta suggested. Right after Lottie turned 2 her attention span dwindled greatly. When Ollie was dealing with a lot of doctor’s appointments, sometimes it wasn’t always ideal to have someone watch the little one so Peta had found a lot of the Disney characters in small figurine versions. Lottie became obsessed with them. So on days when Lottie had to go to appointments, Peta would have her pick a handful of figurines and they would put them in a pencil box and take them with them. It had been a lifesaver.

“Little peoples!” She cheered and left Peta in the bedroom.

“Where’s the fire?” Sharna said laughing as she came into the little ones room.

“She’s finding her little Frozen people to take with her. She was going to take her big Olaf but I suggested the people and she decided she liked that instead.”

“Makes sense, both kids can play with it too.” Sharna said.

“Yeah, and I figured, we’re going to have to wait a little bit even with getting dinner so may as well have something to keep them occupied.”

“For sure. Hey, Noah said he always takes pjs for Mav so he said to tell you about taking a set for Lottie. He said he changes him right before the movie starts that way if he falls asleep at the end or on the way back he can just put him in bed.”

“Oh, so Noah told you huh?” Peta said with a smirk as she moved over to Lottie’s dresser and started to rummage around for a set of pajamas.

“Shush. He probably figured that it was quicker than telling Maks to tell you when I’m right here.” Sharna said as her phone buzzed again.

“And what else would he like to tell us?” Peta said with a grin.

“He…nothing.” She said with a look. Lottie came back into the room then, her hands full of her figurines but a tiny pout on her lips.

“What’s wrong baby?” Peta said bending down.

“Sven missing.” She said as her lip started to tremble.

“No no baby, he’s right here remember? You took him to bed with you the other night.” Peta said pointing to the nightstand next to the crib showing Lottie exactly what she was talking about.

“SVEN!” Lottie yelled happily as she scurried over to grab him. She dropped Anna, Elsa, and Olaf in the process but was very happy when she was holding the moose in her hands again.

“You found him, here baby, put them in your box. We’ll put them in your bag okay?” Peta said opening a box for her to put them in.

“Tank you momma. An Na?” Lottie said holding her arms up after she put the characters in the box.

“Come here sugar.” Sharna said picking her up.

“Okay baby, I need you to pick jammies for later. When we get to the movie, we’ll get you all cozy. Kitties or Stripes?” Peta said holding up two pair of pajamas. She had learned awhile back that Lottie did a lot better with things when she knew she had options.

“Kitties, meow!” Lottie said giggling as she pointed to the pajamas with a top with a large cat on it that said these are the cats pajamas. The bottoms were black with different kittens on them.

“Alright love bug, why don’t you play while Aunt Sharna and I finish getting everything together.”

“Tay with An Na?” Lottie asked as she fiddled with Sharna’s sleeve. Sharna shrugged and looked at Peta who shrugged as well.

“You can but it might be boring.” Peta said as she ruffled Lottie’s curls, basically they just needed to put the bag and some blankets in the wagon as well as their jackets. Peta was going to throw a few snacks in as well.

“Stay with me or play sugar?”

“Stay.” She said. Sharna’s phone buzzed again.

“Umm.” She said softly.

“I won’t tease, what did he say?” Peta said knowingly at the look on her best friend’s face. Sharna blushed slightly before reading the text to Peta.

“They sell popcorn and snacks there. Since we’re eating dinner first we won’t need anything big but Mav loves popcorn so I let him get popcorn. I take him juice since they mostly have pop and overpriced water. They sell snow-cones so he usually gets one of those. Mav keeps walking around the house yelling your name. I think he’s excited to see you and maybe..” Sharna blushed a deep red as she stopped reading the text immediately.

“What does it say?!” Peta said reaching quickly for the phone.

“Nothing!”

“That he’s excited to see you too doesn’t it!”  

“Maybe, come on Lottie, let’s go find some blankets, okay?” Sharna said switching Lottie to her other hip and heading out of the room. Peta shook her head and grabbed her phone to text Maks. She told him Noah said he was excited to see Sharna. Maks responded quickly saying that this may be bigger for Noah than he realized.

“Noah and Mav are on their way. They’ll be here in 5.” Sharna said appearing in the doorway. She was carrying two blankets and had one draped over Lottie who was giggling mercilessly at her aunt. She had also picked up Lily and her blankie along the way.

“Oh whoa, let’s go get this stuff in the wagon. You have a jacket?” Peta asked. Despite the fact that it was warmer in Chattanooga, sometimes the night air got relentlessly chilly.

“Yeah, it’s on the sofa. Come Miss Giggles.” Sharna said starting down the stairs tickling Lottie slightly eliciting another round of giggles from the little one. They dragged everything out to the porch where Maks was already waiting. He scooped the blankets from Sharna and settled them in the wagon.

“Noah usually brings Mav’s too. Do you think we’ll need both?” Maks said looking between the girls. Sharna shrugged and passed Lottie over to him who had her arms out for him. She started rambling to him about her Frozen people and Elsa and Anna and Sven.

“Umm, I think it’s probably not a bad idea to just bring both. It gives them each their space especially if they fall asleep there or on the way home.” Peta said as she settled their jackets in and put Lottie’s bag in the front as well.

“Good thinking. See I knew you’d know.” Maks said with a wink.

“Just thinking of how this one would react if she had to share while sleepy.” Peta said shrugging as Noah and Maverick pulled up. As soon as Noah had Maverick out of the car seat he was already bolting across the yard. Maks bent down to catch the little one who ran straight passed him and crashed into Sharna’s legs.

“Hey buddy!” She said scooping him up into her arms. Peta laughed relentlessly and she patted Maks on the back.

“Stole my nephew right out from under my nose. He doesn’t love me anymore.” Maks said in a pitiful teasing tone.

“I wuv you Aks.” Lottie said as she patted his cheek comfortingly.

“Aww, thank you Lottie girl, I love you too.” Maks said as he hugged her.

“See someone loves you.” Peta said with a wink. Sharna and Maverick had walked back over to Noah to help with whatever he needed.

“Well then, we may not have to do too much matchmaker playing with those two.” Maks said looking at Peta who was standing next to him.

“I think they may need the final push but they do seem to be doing quite alright so far.” Peta agreed as they walked back over to the group. Noah was dragging the wagon while Sharna had Maverick settled on her hip.

“Who’s ready for pizza?” Noah asked as he came over.

“Meeeee!” Peta, Maks and Lottie chorused.

“Let’s go then.”

“Alright love bug, let’s get you in the wagon.” Peta said as she reached for Lottie who only tightened her hold on Maks.

“Ride wif Aks peas?” She said curled into him.

“Baby, we have a far walk to the pizza place, we’ll be with Maks alllll night remember?” Peta tried to coerce her.

“Peas.” She said again with a tiny pout.

“Your call.” Maks said letting her know that he was fine carrying her but wasn’t overstepping her decision.

“Lottie you have to ride in the wagon. You can sit with Maks at the dinner and the movie. You have your little toys with you.” Peta said making the final decision. Maks bent down and settled Lottie in the wagon who began to fuss immediately.

“Whoa, hey miss, I’ll pull you okay? And you’ll see me the whole time.” Maks said as he took the wagon handle off of Peta hoping that would help some.

“Just start walking, she’ll settle.” Peta said knowingly. Lottie loved the wagon and riding in it but apparently her Maks love was a little more. She was sure it also didn’t help that it was nearly dinner time. They started slowing leaving Sharna, Noah, and Maverick to follow.

“Okay, you too Mav, wagon time.”

“No!” He said sharply as he gripped Sharna.

“Not you too. Buddy, I know you missed her but she can’t carry you the whole way.” Noah tried to explain.

“Uh huh.” He said in protest.

“Buddy, I’ll pull you just like Maks is pulling Lottie and then you can sit with me at dinner if Daddy says it’s okay alright? I’m with you all night clear up until bedtime.” Sharna explained. Maverick pouted ridiculously but allowed Sharna to put him in the wagon. She moved forward to take the handle from Noah, their hands brushing gently. Sharna felt a shiver run down her spine that she hadn’t felt in a long time. She looked up at him and saw the blush on Noah’s cheeks and knew he had felt it too.

“Ready?” He asked softly. She nodded and they started out. He walked directly beside her quietly for a bit. Their hands bumped into one another a few times before she felt him reach for her fingers. She looked up at him in surprise and he shrugged his shoulders at her.

“You sure?” The little they had talked about his past and everything, she knew he was extremely hesitant to start something with anyone let alone someone who typically lived 2000 miles away.

“Yes and no but more yes.” He said as his fingers slide into hers. She smiled gently and the group headed on. Maks and Peta took note of the new development and shared a look. They decided to keep their mouths shut however and just continued on with finding a seat.

“Sit with Sha’na peas?” Maverick asked as Noah helped him out of the wagon.

“You have to ask her buddy.”

“Sha’na?” Maverick said with a grin.

“Come here little man.” Sharna said scooping him up and tickling him lightly. Noah felt a sense of warmth flow through him that he hadn’t felt in a long time. He could see the happiness on Maverick’s face. It was a different happiness than what was typically there. He knew he needed a female presence in his life other than his grandmother. Sharna was the first person that Noah had seen that he could actually see fitting with them.

“You sure?” Noah asked realizing that in his realization that Sharna had ultimately agreed to keep Mav during dinner.

“Positive.” She said with a smile. The group headed in as the waiter seated them at a booth just off the patio. They quickly turned in their orders and the group headed into discussion about how to fill in Sharna’s last two weeks with the group. They knew the last week was going to be an adjustment for Peta & Lottie so they agreed to help out as much as possible with the transition. While Noah participated in the conversation, he could feel himself withdrawing as he already felt a hint of anxiety at the thought of Sharna leaving. Eventually dinner came and the group ate up before heading over to the park.

“Noah, you show us the best spot.” Sharna said as they arrived. They were about an hour early so there was some families already there but not many. She knew he and Maverick did this occasionally so she knew he’d be the best at picking.

“Let’s go over here by that tree. We can put the wagons against the tree and lean on them if we want. We’re not in the dead center and not too far up so we won’t get stuck.” He decided after looking for a moment. Everyone nodded and followed him. They got their blankets sets up and the kids were playing with Lottie’s figurines and Maverick’s dinosaurs that he brought with them.

“Maks, if it’s okay with you, I think I’m going to sneak away and get Mav’s sno-cone. It’ll be easier to just go get it and come back since he’s busy.”

“That’s fine, I’ll keep an eye on him. P, were you getting Lottie one?”

“I can get it for you babe. Cotton Candy right?” Sharna said attempting to keep her anticipation at bay. She wanted a few moments alone with Noah especially since she had seen him fade in and out of the conversation at dinner. She also felt a sense of panic ever since he held her hand on the walk to dinner.

“Yeah, here I can give you money.” Peta said reaching for her bag.

“I got it.” Sharna said brushing her off. She went to stand and Noah caught her elbow helping to steady her once she was on her feet. She blushed slightly and mouthed a thank you. He nodded and started off the blanket. He nearly turned back to tell Maverick but figured it was safest to just go. He wanted a little time with Sharna as well.

“Here.” He said softly reaching for her hand again. He figured since they were picking their way through families and blankets this was a good idea and he kinda just wanted to feel her hand in his again. She laced their fingers together quickly and smiled at him. He smiled back and they headed over to the rows of food trucks that were set up along the riverbank.

“Whoa, maybe we should have ate dinner here.” Sharna teased seeing all the options.

“Right? Only problem is it’s kind of a mixed batch of things so the kids don’t always like things.”

“Ah makes sense. Oh my lord, there’s three ice trucks.” She said as she marveled at the set up.

“One is kinda ice creamed based, Mav hates it, another is chopped ice, and another is like shaved ice.”

“Where do we go?”

“That one. The shaved ice.”

“You’re joking.” Sharna deadpanned. The line was probably 40 people long.

“Nope, that’s why Maks keeps Mav. It’s always like this. You don’t have to stay if you don’t want. I can get Lottie’s for you.” Noah said softly feeling like he need to give Sharna the out. They headed over to the line and got in place.

“No, no, I wanted to come with you. I’ll keep you company. Unless you want me to go that is.”

“No!” Noah said quickly and then groaned at the reflex. He blushed furiously. “Sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize. If it helps when Maks said you asked us about coming tonight, I yelled I’d go immediately.”

“So you wanted to see me ehh?”

“Well I wanted to see Maverick.” She said with a wink. “And maybe his daddy too.”

“I’ll admit, inviting you guys was kind of a bonus for me, knowing you’d most likely come along.”

“Noah….” Sharna said softly looking at the ground. Suddenly it was like it hit her. What in the world were they doing? She was going back to LA in 2 weeks.

“What’s wrong?” He said squeezing her hand that was still linked in his.

“I….what are we doing?” She said looking up at him finally.

“Honestly, I don’t know. When my ex left me and Mav, I swore off doing anything dating wise ever again. Maks vowed to never push it on me either but that he’d support me regardless. A few of my buddies didn’t see things the way I did and I caved and tried to date twice. Each time I was met with this awful anxiety that it was the most wrong thing I could ever do.”

“And…” She trailed off looking at their hands linked together. She shook them lightly as if he couldn’t see where her eyes had went.

“This feels right. This scares me but not in the way the other things scared me. I can’t promise that I wouldn’t try to push you away at some point or that I know where this is going but I just know that it feels right. This feels right.”

“Okay.” She nodded as if that was all she needed from him.

“Wait, what about you?”

“I like you. A lot. It terrifies me because I know I have to leave in 2 weeks and right now I know I don’t want to. I want to be here and explore this with you, see where it takes us because giving up feels like the worst option ever.”

“Exactly.” He echoed. He was feeling the same way. There was so much concern and worry buzzing in his head but yet at the same exact time, he felt this overwhelming urge to connect with her and explore.

“I just, what happens in two weeks?”

“Can I ask a question? It’s going to be a huge one and I don’t want to put pressure on you but I just want to know something.”

“You can ask me anything, always.” She said.

“Is moving an option?” He said and nearly pulled away from her in sheer anticipation of her answer. It wasn’t going to define anything in his mind in that moment he just wanted to know their options.

“Yes. My job, well it’s replaceable. Half my life is here already with Peta and Lottie. So yeah, moving is and has always been an option.” She said squeezing his hand. Her thumb automatically stroked the back of his hand as she felt his nerves continue to escalate.

"That wasn't an ultimatum , I hope you know. I just, Maks is here. My family is here. This is where Mav has grown up. So it's something that crosses my mind. I just don't want you to think i'm jumping ahead of myself here. I'm just trying to sort everything out." He explained quickly.

"Noah." Sharna said laughing slightly.

"What?" He looked at her strangely.

"Relax. It's okay, I know why you were asking and to be honest, in your position with your history, I'd have asked too."

"Oh. Good. I just, I don't want to pressure you." He said softly as he pulled her hand behind his back before letting go and wrapping his arm around her shoulders.

"You're not." She said letting the answer sink in for both of them. "Now what?"

"Well, you have two weeks left right?"

"Right. I already don't want to leave." She said as she tucked into his body.

"Let's not think about that. We'll just try to spend as much time together as we can. I want to get to know you better and you to know me better. And if you wouldn't mind, I'd like to take you on a date, without Maverick."

"I think I'd like that. A lot actually." She said with a grin as she looked up at him.

"Me too." He said. It was suddenly their turn at the sno-cone counter, they ordered the kids treats before moving to wait for them to be finished. Their hands found their way to each other again as Sharna rested on his arm lightly. She suddenly realized they hadn't talked about something yet.

"Do you think we should keep this to ourselves?" She asked feeling extremely shy in that moment.

"From Maks and Peta?"

"They know, they have been scheming since the aquarium. But I meant the kids, more so Mav....." It was silly but now that they had decided to pursue this, she didn't want to backtrack. Even with something as silly as holding his hand.

"Ummm, no. Well I think we need to just be careful. I don't want to be making out or doing anything like that in front of the kids. Or even Maks and Peta but this, this is okay with me." He said gesturing to their joined hands.

"So if I wanted to sit with you for the movie, that would be okay too?"

"That would be more than okay. I would love it actually." He said squeezing her hand as he heard their orders called. They gathered the treats and headed back to the blanket.

"Daddy! Sha'na! Oah! An Na!" Maverick and Lottie cheered as if they hadn't seen them in quite sometime.

"Whoa, did you miss us? Or did you just want your sno-cones." Noah teased taking Lottie's cone from Sharna so she could sit. Then he handed both to her and settled down next to her.

"Yes, yes!" They both cheered.

"What do you two tell them?" Peta prompted as she knelt up from her place next to Maks and helped the kids get settled before Noah and Sharna passed them their treats. She threw a towel over eat of their laps, winking at Noah when his face looked at her in admiration. He never remembered to bring that for Maverick when they came.

"Tank you!" They both said as they worked on devouring the delicious ice treat. It wasn't too long before they were both drippy sticky messes but they were happy and having fun none the less. When they finished they were going to go clean them up and change them into pajamas.

"Alright buddy, let's go get your jammies on. It's almost Olaf time." Noah said to Maverick.

"You too Lottie girl. Come on." Peta said holding her hands out to Lottie who came to her easily. She was super excited for the movie and somehow knew that pajamas meant Anna and Elsa and Sven would be coming soon.

"I go with Sha'na." Maverick said looking between his dad and Sharna.

"Mav." Noah said softly.

"It's okay, if you don't mind. I can go with P and Lottie." Sharna said.

"Are you positive? He's pretty simple. Just wipe him up and change him. He'll go potty on his own."

"Positive, come on buddy. Let's go get clean and cozy." Sharna said holding her arms out to Maverick who let her scoop him up easily.

"Thank you." Noah said even though Sharna brushed it off. She followed Peta who was weaving her way through the flock of people who had gathered. It looked like all of the Chattanooga was out for the event. They eventually made it through and headed to the bathrooms.

"So, you two look like you're getting cozy." Peta said nudging Sharna's shoulder lightly. The line to the restroom was relatively short but there was one.

"We talked, I'll talk to you about it later though. Not right now." She said looking between the kids.

"Okay, you know I support it though, ship it even." Peta teased.

"Oh my goodness, what am I going to do with you." Sharna laughed.

"Love me. Huh love bug, tell her, she just has to love us."

"Wuv us!" Lottie said to her aunt. Sharna laughed and leaned over to kiss Lottie's cheek. Then she came back and kissed Mavericks as well. He grinned happily and cuddled into her. He was such a sweet boy. Sharna couldn't imagine how someone could just give him up. It was their turn and both girls headed in and got the kids changed, let them go to the bathroom before cleaning them up. They worked their way back to the blankets where Maks and Noah had scored some popcorn and got the kids drinks set up.

"Aks!" Lottie said happily as they returned. She moved and curled up in his lap like she had never been anywhere else.

"Hey there cutie." Maks said tickling her before handing over her drink and popcorn.

"Momma, sit wif us." Lottie said beckoning Peta over. Peta settled next to the two leaving Maverick and Sharna standing still.

"Come here." Noah said patting the space next to him telling Sharna to sit with them like she had mentioned earlier.

"Sit in you lap?" Maverick said to Sharna.

"Sure buddy."

"With daddy?"

"Well I don't think daddy can sit in my lap but we'll be beside him. Sound good?" She said tickling Maverick slightly. He nodded and curled into her once they settled down. Noah handed over Maverick's treats as well before moving his arm back behind Sharna so she was brushing it lightly. She looked up at him with a grin. The movie started then and the group fell silent. About halfway through Sharna shifted a few times and Noah looked down to realize Maverick had fallen asleep on her.

"You can lay him down if you want." Noah said realizing that Maverick's dead weight was probably a bit heavy.

"No, I like holding him. My legs are asleep though." She said softly and he realized she had been trying to move them out from under herself but was failing miserably. He nearly laughed but realized no one around them would probably appreciate it.

"Here, lean back." He said moving so that he was behind her.  He put his legs on either side of her before he leaned her body back against his. With the new position she was able to free her legs from their crossed position. He got ready to move but she curled into him slightly so he stayed exactly where he was for the rest of the movie. Maks and Peta noticed the two but decided to keep things to themselves.  

When the movie ended, they collected everything and made their way back to the houses. Lottie had made it through the whole movie but had fallen asleep on Maks almost as soon as they started walking. He chuckled and just took her blanket from Peta before wrapping it around the little girl and tucking her kitten in with her. Once they got to the house, Sharna opted to help Noah get Maverick in the car while Maks took Lottie in for Peta. Peta could have easily done it but she decided to let Maks do it this time.

"Night buddy." Sharna said softly after they had straped the little one into his seat. She bent in and kissed his forehead. Then she shut the door gently so as not to wake him.

"Thank you." Noah's voice said making her jump.

"For what?" She said turning to look at him.

"For just being so good to him. He loves you already."

"Well, he's the sweetest boy ever. I might love him too." Sharna said with a fond smile.

"I suppose I should let you get in so Peta can lock up huh?" He said reaching for her hand.

"Yeah, and I should let you get him home." Sharna said gesturing towards the car.

"Yeah." He said relenting and pulling her body into his as he wrapped his arms around her pulling her into him.

"Goodnight Noah." She whispered into his chest. He decided he was going to be brave and he pulled back slightly before tipping her chin up slightly. Then he dipped his lips down to hers to meet in a soft gentle kiss.

"Goodnight Sharna. I'll see you tomorrow." He said squeezing her once more before letting her go. She smiled before heading to the house passing Maks on the way. He said goodnight but she was on Cloud 9 and didn't even hear him. She headed into the house and shut the door before leaning against it and letting out a giddy shriek.

"Wine?" Peta said with a knowing smile. Sharna nodded and moved towards her best friend knowing they had a long night of girl talk ahead of them.

**That's a wrap on this one, sorry it took so long but I hope it was worth the wait. It's Shway heavy but I'm kinda in love with writing them. I promise I'll do my best to keep the two balanced. Don't forget to like it up and let me know what you thought! Love you guys. I'm going away for work next week so this could either work in our favor and get you guys lots of stories or make me slack even worse. The first option is more likely however, so hopefully you won't have to wait as long for the next one. Love you guys!

[sarahjane0886]

Breath

“How is it possible that the moment your breath meets mine, my lungs become so clear. It’s as if I had been silent suffocating.” ~ L.R.

“Okay, so let’s go through the first 10 8 counts again, then we’ll stop for today.” Peta said looking at Nick. They had been working on their foxtrot for quite some time now and she could see the frustration and exhaustion wearing on him.

“Sorry, I promise, I’ll get it.” He said looking at her. And he was, he wasn’t failing miserably like he could have been however, he was just struggling with little details and other things like that.

“Don’t be sorry. I get it. It’s understandable. And we’re learning two dances this week. You’ve gotten the Argentine Tango down, now we only have to work on fine tuning all the details. You’re getting it. I promise.”

“I just don’t want to let you down.” He said softly as he looked at her. Peta could feel her heart tighten in her chest as she looked at her partner. He was always so cheery and fun, this was a different side of him and one she was sure people didn’t see frequently.

“Listen to me, nothing at all could make you let me down. You’re trying and that’s all I can ask for. I’ll see if I can brainstorm tonight and figure out some ways to help.” She said with a grin as she hugged him. He squeezed her back and pressed a friendly kiss to her forehead.

“Thanks partner.” He said as he let her go. He moved to his mark and held his hand out to her. They went through the initial part of the dance at least 5 more times, Nick improving each time. Finally a production member came in and told them their time was up for that day.

“You go home and enjoy that little baby of yours.” Nick said as he leaned over to hug Peta as they headed out. She passed along the same condolences to him and sent him on his way. She checked her watch to see when Maks and Vanessa’s rehearsal would be done and realized she had another 2 hours. Rather than waiting, she decided to go home and just sneak in some extra Shai time. She hadn’t realized just how much she would miss the little munchkin while she was away. She had the nanny bring him to her a few times already.

‘Hey babe, I’m heading home to spend some time with Shai. Do you just want to grab us dinner on your way home?’ She sent a text to Maks before heading out of the parking lot. Once she was home, she showered quickly before she sent Cherryl off to get some much needed pamper time. She thought for a moment and then headed outside with Shai. They had a tiny baby pool set up next to the big pool and Shai was absolutely a blast when they let him play in it. The two played until she saw the munchkin getting grumpy. She gathered him up and headed into the house with him.

“Alright bubby, let’s get you changed into dry clothes and we’ll get you a bottle and a nap.” She said as he fussed in her arms at being taken out of his water time. He wailed in her arms the further they walked away from the outside.

“Shhhhh, it’s okay. You’re just sleepy, we can play in the water some more soon bubby.” She soothed as she made her way to his room and got him changed into a dry onesie. Rather than putting him in actual clothes, she just grabbed his favorite blanket and headed down to the kitchen. She grabbed a bottle for the grumpy pants and settled onto the loveseat. Once he had his bottle, his hand wound up into her hair as his eyes immediately started to droop.

“Ohhh, see, I told you, you were just sleepy.” She said as she stroked his cheek as he drifted off. Once he finished his bottle, she shifted and snuggled him in tighter as she closed her eyes as well. Her head began to spin on the remainder of the time she had with Nick and what she needed to do to accomplish everything this week. Since they had two shows, everything was doubled, two dances, two sets of packages, two opening numbers, two costumes, two dress rehearsals, two camera blocking. She felt

“Hey you. There you two are.” Maks said making Peta jump slightly.

“Hey.” She said with a grin as he settled into the couch beside her. She went to move closer to him but he stopped her.

“I think I smell. I didn’t shower yet.” He said laughing at the look on her face.

“I honestly don’t care right now.” She said suddenly wanting his embrace as soon as he was near.

“Babe, give me 5, then I’ll come sit with you two.” He chuckled at her frown. She pouted but leaned up to kiss him before he walked away. He returned less than 10 minutes later with two bottles of water. His hair was damp from the shower.

“This side please.” She said requesting that he sit on the opposite side of her. He gave her a curious look before he settled on the left side of her body. She shifted Shai in her arms making sure not to wake him and then tucked herself into Maks. She pulled her knees up and rested them on his legs. His arm wrapped around her shoulders as she snuggled into his chest. Now that she was situated he realized why she wanted this side. She wouldn’t have been able to do this on the other side with the way Shai had fallen asleep.

“You want to put him in his crib?” He whispered as he pressed a kiss to her head.

“Nope, I’m good.” She murmured back. The two sat for a while just sitting in silence as they let the day fade away.

“You okay?” He asked finally. The two were affectionate at best but this was a bit different tone to her today. She nodded and pressed into him a bit more. He left her be knowing her at this point.

“You know, before you came home, I didn’t even realize how much I wanted you. I didn’t have a bad day or even a rough day but it was a day. And then you came home and sat down next to me and suddenly there was a shift. And it got me thinking, now don’t judge me because I feel like this can either sound deep or crazy. But, how is it possible that the moment your breath meets mine, my lungs become so clear. It’s as if I had been silent suffocating?”

“Babe.” Maks whispered at her statement.

“Honestly though Maks. It’s like you’re my drug. My safe haven. My end all. And I think sometimes I take you for granted but I just want you to know that even if it seems I do, I don’t.” She said getting flustered. Shai must have picked up on it and the little munchkin woke up. He was so thrilled to see both of his parents that their conversation was derailed until later in the evening when the house was quiet and the two were tucked into bed.

“So, earlier….” He said as his hand ran through her hair. She was curled up on his chest with her leg slung over his, her arm across his middle.

“Oh….” She said softly curling into him tighter.

“What was the oh for?” He asked.

“The oh was for, maybe I shouldn’t have said that earlier, it makes me sound needy.”

“Peta Jane. No. It doesn’t. If anything I think that was the most special thing you’ve ever said to me. And to be honest, I think I agree. It’s not like I go away from you and suddenly my world stops but there’s this thing that’s missing and when you’re around suddenly it’s all okay again. Your analogy was perfect. You’re like my inhaler.”

“Babe.” She giggled at his analogy.

“Truth.” He said pulling her up some so he could kiss her. The kiss wasn’t sexual or sensual however it spoke volumes in their conversations that day. The kiss said it all. They were each other’s breaths, each other’s safe havens, and ultimately, each other’s reason.  

*Chmergs! Hope you guys liked it! I’m freaking in loveeee with this quote. Don’t forget to like it up and let me know what you all thought. Love you guys!

I feel like I need to take a poll on what you guys prefer for the next coming weeks. I have some things going on that are going to limit my writing time. I just don’t know where to put it. But options are going to limit updates and I need to know where you guys would rather have updates. Basically, my best friends which include my tiny niece are moving from New York to San Diego and I’m helping them move. So these next three weeks, I’m going to have limited writing time as I’ll be driving cross country with them. I’m trying to decide where to put a poll….what do you all think? Start a new story and ask? Or post an update in all stories and ask…this is confusing. Hahaha, but I want to keep you guys happy so I need to know where to put my words.

[sarahjane0886]

Begin Again 8

Chapter 8

“So do we have a plan for the day? Anything with the guys?” Sharna said from her place on the couch. They had woken up to a particularly cool day in Chattanooga so they were enjoying their coffee from the couch curled up in some blankets. Lottie was tucked between them with her milk and toast.

“Do you want to do something with the guys?” Peta said with a wink.  

“It’s kinda been the theme dork. Not complaining but it’s what we’ve been doing.” Sharna said as she rolled her eyes and deflected the innuendo that Peta had thrown out.

“True, I suppose, but you never ask.” Peta teased a little further. Truth was they had pretty much seen the boys almost every day since Sharna had come to Tennessee. They had the aquarium day, they went to the zoo, and then they had went to Rock falls. Noah was on vacation for that week and the following week so their sudden bout of sightseeing fit perfectly and the kids were enjoying things more since they had each other and the adults.

“Peta Jane. Like you don’t want to see Maks.” Sharna said with a look.

“Aks?” Lottie said looking up between the two in anticipation.

“Maybe baby. I’m sure you’ll see him at some point.” Peta said, knowing it wasn’t really that hard to see the man considering he lived two feet away.

“Tay.” She nodded before curling into her mother and continuing her breakfast.

“Way to go slick. I was just teasing.” Peta said as she was the one giving the look this time.

“Sorry, I guess I should have thought about her before I shot that out.” Sharna said sheepishly.

“Yeah, seriously. I guess I shouldn’t tease you either. But Noah is cute and he clearly likes you.”

“Peta……” Sharna sighed. With all the time the group had spent together, Sharna and Noah got to know each other quick. It had been similar to Peta and Maks but on a different aspect mixed in with the distance. They both seemed to like each other but neither was willing to do anything about it.

“What? I’m just being conservative. It’s the truth and you both have clicked so well. And Maverick adored you right out of the gate. He’s so shy Shar, I was even surprised at how quickly he clicked with you.

“He’s here.” She said plainly as if it answered all the questions.

“So are we. You had to know I’d try to get you here with us, babe. I mean I didn’t expect that to be the reason and I’m not saying it is. But will you just not shut it out?”

“Peta, he has his issues and everything. What if he doesn’t even want that?” Sharna said with a look.

“Whoa wait, that means you would and do want it.”

“Not the point!” Sharna growled out at Peta frustrated.

“Oh but it is. Anyways, and if you know he has issues, that means he’s talked to you about it.” Peta said giving her another look.

“You told me!”

“I told you that Maverick’s mom wasn’t in the picture. I didn’t tell you anything further.

“Whatever, yes, he told me. Well not in detail. I just know that she was a bad person and while he’s sad Mav doesn’t have a mother figure, he’s not super upset that she’s not involved anymore. But you could see it on his face P, she screwed with him big time.”

“That doesn’t mean that it’s not something he wants.”

“Babe, I love you, but I don’t think this is happening. Not even if……” She trailed off realizing she had gone too far.

“Not even if what?” Peta said with wide eyes. There was a knock on the door then that startled all three of the girls.

“Saved by the door.” Sharna said with a smirk.

“Aks!” Lottie said as she stood up on the couch and could see her favorite man in the window.

“Hey, how’s it going? Come in. Ignore the fact that we haven’t gotten dressed yet please.” Peta said waving Maks in as she opened the door.

“It’s early. I didn’t expect you to be dressed honestly but I did have a question.” Maks said scooping Lottie up once he was in the house.

“What’s up?” Peta asked as she leaned against the sofa and watched the two.

“Well, today is my 2 & 3 year old class at the studio. Its ballet fundamentals. Aka 40 minutes of Simon Says mixed with music. And I know Sharna is in town so I figured I’d ask and see if you were okay with me taking this one with me. It would give you guys some girl time alone.” Maks asked.

“Umm, today?” Peta said quietly and when Maks looked at her, he saw her face had gone white as a ghost.

“I mean, you can say no, I just thought maybe she’d like it and it would give you two the….time.” He murmured the last part as Peta walked away from the group. Maks looked at Sharna confused as all get out as well as alarmed.

“She met Ollie when they were in the same ballet class. I’ll be right back, can you keep an eye on this one?” Sharna said ruffling Lottie’s hair.

“Of course.”

“If she’s going what time does she need to be ready?” Sharna asked, not really sure how this conversation was going to go.

“My class is at 9:30. I leave here at 9. So ½ hourish And I have another one right after but its 4-5 year olds so she can stay with me through that one and then I’d bring her back in time for nap.” Maks explained.

“Alright, let me go check on her.” Sharna said leaving Lottie and Maks in the living room. She found her best friend in front of the kitchen sink, gripping the counter so tightly her knuckles were turning white. When she got closer she could see the tears that were slipping down her cheeks as well.

“Babe.” Sharna said softly as she moved next to her and rested her hand on her back.

“I don’t know if I can handle that.” Peta said softly as she didn’t turn her head to look at Sharna.

“Then you don’t have to. You’re allowed to say no P. And you have every reason to this time. That was special to you. To Ollie. So it makes sense.”

“But that’s not fair to her. What if she loves it? What if it’s what she wants to do?” Peta said wiping the tears from her face as she finally turned and looked at her best friend.

“What if she doesn’t? She’s only 2 babe, it’s also not something that you have to figure out now.”

“I just feel like….I don’t even know what the heck I feel. I feel like I’m supposed to do all these things because it’s what’s right but then at the same time. I feel like I can’t stop life. I shouldn’t stop life for her. And if I don’t deal with them now how am I ever going to deal with them? I’m sick of second guessing everything all the time. What I’m feeding her, what I’m dressing her in, whether this move was right or night, letting her get so close to Maks, letting Maks in so much with me. Every single time I turn around my brain is fighting me on everything! And I’m sick of it. I know it’s only been 5 months now but I just. I can’t keep this up.” Peta said as her tears started to fall again harder this time. Sharna pulled her in close and held her tightly not saying a word. They stayed together like that until Peta’s tears calmed and she was just clinging to Sharna.

“Now, I can’t tell you what to do ever but I can tell you one thing. That little girl in there is only doing as good as she is because of you. Yes she’s tiny and when she’s older, she won’t remember much of Ollie but right now she does. She knows that daddy was around and now he’s gone. She knows he went to be an angel from what we’ve told her. That could have easily turned into a huge monumental explosion. But it hasn’t. She has her moments but so does every other two year old in the world. She’s healthy, she’s happy, and she’s loved. That’s all due to you.”

“I wasn’t going to let it be anything but.” Peta murmured.

“But that’s what I’m talking about. Not everyone would say that. Some people would just wallow in their pain. And you’ve had your moments and days but you’ve put her first this whole time. I know it’s going to happen but you have to trust yourself.”

“I’m trying. But that, that in there scares me.” She said pointing to the living room and Sharna knew exactly what she meant. From the moment she had seen Maks with Peta & Lottie, she knew that no matter how much the two denied it, there was something there. There as a spark in the air that she hadn’t even seen with Ollie, which she would never tell Peta that but it was the truth.

“It’s allowed to. Don’t deny yourself that P.”

“Oh, I can’t, it automatically bubbles up like it’s supposed to live within me. I just want to enjoy this. I want to enjoy my daughter being two. I want to enjoy that my best friend is in town. There’s been so much heartache surrounding all of us that I just want it to slow down. I just don’t want to diminish Ollie’s memory or his worth in my life because I’m allowing that in there to happen.”

“I can honestly tell you when you told me about him, really told me about him, I was so thrown off. I never in a million years that you’d have another guy in your life this quickly. And while, I can see there’s something potentially brewing there, I can also tell you that I know that one in there would not in a million years do anything that you weren’t ready for. Even if it meant keeping his feelings to himself for years to come. But babe, Ollie wouldn’t want that for you. He’d want you to move on, to be happy, to live life. That was always his favorite quote, “Live life to the fullest because it only happens once.” I’m not telling you to go in there and proclaim some love for Maks but I’m just saying let what happens happen. Fighting it is only going to make you miserable.”

“And this is why I’ve missed you.” Peta said with a shudder.

“Well I’m here now. “ Sharna said as she leaned back a little and looked her best friend in her face.

“What do I do now?” Peta asked her.

“You do what you think you should do. And you don’t worry about what anyone thinks.” Sharna said as she leaned up and wiped the tears off her cheeks.

“Umm, I don’t want to interrupt but someone wants her mom.” Maks said appearing in the doorway with an upset Lottie. Peta immediately moved over to her daughter and held her arms out.

“Oh, come here love bug, what’s wrong?”

“I think she knew you were upset. I tried to distract her but she wanted you.” Maks explained.

“I’m sorry baby, I’m alright.” Peta said as she cuddled Lottie for a few minutes while the little one buried into her mother’s chest. She settled pretty quickly once she saw that Peta was alright.

“Wuv you momma.” Lottie said after a few minutes.

“I love you too baby. I have a question for you.” Peta said taking a deep breath. She knew immediately what she wanted to do.

“Kestion?” Lottie repeated.

“Yes, baby, a question. You remember how Mommy and Daddy used to dance?”

“Daddy spin Momma pretty.” Lottie said with a smile. When Ollie had gotten the news that he only had about 3-4 weeks left, he decided that he wanted to share as much as possible with Lottie and show her everything that he could about their lives together.  This included how they met which was through their ballet school.

“That’s right, daddy did spin momma pretty. Well Mr. Maks, he helps people learn how to spin pretty and dance and do everything. Not exactly like momma and daddy but so that they learn to dance pretty too.”

“I dance pretty?” Lottie asked giving Peta the perfect opening into the question.

“Well, that’s what Mr. Maks wants to know. He wanted to know if you wanted to go with him to his class. There’s going to be other little ones there like you and he’ll teach you things.”  

“You come?”

“No, you’d go with Mr. Maks, love. And then he’d bring you home after.” Peta said gently. Lottie hadn’t been away from Peta much especially since Ollie had left them.

“There’s lots of little girls in the class, Lottie. And I’ll be there with you too.” Maks interjected.

“And if you go and you get super sad and need Momma, Mr. Maks can call and I’ll come get you.”

“Lily come with me.” Lottie said more as a statement rather than a question. Peta looked at Maks for confirmation on that. She wasn’t sure of rules and such.

“Lily can come.” Maks said.

“Tay, I go.” Lottie said as she held her hands out to Maks like that was the final aspect of the conversation.

“Hold up baby. We gotta get you dressed first. You gonna go with Mr. Maks in your pajamas?”

“Nooooo!” Lottie giggled.

“Here, come with me sweet girl, we’ll get you dressed and your hair pulled up. Maks, does she need anything specific?”

“Just shorts and a t-shirt. She can wear tennis shoes. Most of the kids ditch them for just socks or bare feet but that can be her choice.” Maks said as Sharna took Lottie out of the kitchen to get her ready.

“Sorry about that.” Peta said sheepishly as she looked at Maks guiltily. She edged closer to him suddenly wanting his comfort despite the turmoil going on in her head.

“It’s alright. Are you okay?” Maks asked holding his arm out. He had seen her shift closer and closer as things went on.

“Yes and no. I just, that’s how Ollie and I met. We were both in the same ballet company. We had grown up in the same company and got close right before college. And it expanded from there. He was always my partner. And I want her to experience dance, I just think knowing it was with you and all of a sudden threw me off.” Peta said as she moved into his embrace and leaned into his hug.

“I don’t have to take her P. I had no idea. But I don’t want you to think I was imposing.” Maks said immediately.

“No, I know you didn’t. And honestly if she’s going to learn and it’s not even saying she is. It’s just something fun and different for her. But if she’s going to experience it, I would rather it be with someone she feels safe with. And she feels safe with you.”

“Well I appreciate that. And it means a lot. But are you sure?”

“Positive. Sharna reminded me of something Ollie used to tell us all the time. And it reminded me that living in the grief of his death is not something that he’d want us to do. Honor and cherish his memory yes, but hold back no. She needs to get this chance and this experience.”

“Alright, well if you change your mind you let me know.” He said before letting the room fall quiet as he held her until they heard footsteps on the stairs.

“Momma! Aks! An Na gived me a bun!” Lottie said excitedly as she came downstairs looking cute as ever. Sharna had found a t-shit that was more form fitting and a pair of black cloth shorts. She had her little tennis shoes on with her hair swept back into a bun.

“You look adorable baby!” Peta said scooping her daughter back up.

“Tank you! I ready to dance now!” She said as she held Lily on her hip.

“Here, I threw a change of clothes and B-L-A-N-K-Y in here.” Sharna said handing Maks the bag.

“Thanks Shar.” They both said at the same time before everyone laughed.

“Alright love bug, you be a good girl for Mr. Maks. And you tell him if you’re sad okay?” Peta said as she snuggled Lottie for a few moments before she handed her to Maks.

“You ready Lottie?” Maks asked as he gathered her things in his arm. Her car seat still lived in his car. Peta was going to have to do something about that when she started work and needed to take Lottie to daycare.

“Yes, bye momma. Bye An Na.” Lottie said blowing kisses.

“Bye baby. Bye Sweet Girl.” They both said.

“I’ll text you if something happens and well actually I’ll text you the studio address just so you have it. Otherwise we will be back at noon, okay?” Maks asked looking directly at Peta, trying to see if she was hesitating.

“Alright, thank you. I’ll keep my phone on. Call if you or she needs me please?

“We will. Enjoy your Sharna time. You deserve it.” Maks said as Peta walked them out.

“Thank you. Behave baby. I’ll see you later.” Peta said once more, leaning to kiss Lottie’s cheek once more. The two headed out and she shut the door before turning and leaning against it as she put her head in her hands.

“Want to talk about it?”

“What about the fact that I’m a hot mess? About the fact that I lost my husband 4 months ago to pancreatic cancer, I moved across the country because I couldn’t deal with all the memories, and when I move I move next to a man that I feel just as safe or safer than I ever did with Ollie? Or about the fact that I just had a meltdown, and then let him hold me to settle me? No, I really don’t want to talk about it. I know it’s wrong. And maybe I should be a recluse for another year. But right now, I know I love Ollie, I will always love Ollie and he will always be the love of my life. But at the same time I have Lottie here, and I need to be the best person that I can be for her and maybe that is letting someone in as a friend, who potentially when I’m ready, may turn into more. But at this moment, is solely a friend.”

“Go get dressed, it’s pedicure time. You need girl time. And time to shut all this down.” Sharna said seeing the upset look on Peta’s face.

“Bu….oh…okay.” Peta said as her body dropped in defeat and she headed toward the stairs.

“Wait, babe.” Sharna said grabbing her hand.

“Yeah?”

“I agree with you. I agree with you whole heartedly. I may end up being the only person who does but I agree with you. And I’ll always be here for you and have your back, no matter what.”

“Thank you.” Peta said as tears filled her eyes again.

“Anytime, I love you.” Sharna said with a squeeze before letting her go again. The girls headed up and got ready before heading out. They spent the morning getting pampered and just enjoying some real down time together which slowly began to even things out. They finally headed back home after picking lunch up for all 4 of them, Lottie and Maks included.

“Momma! We back!” Lottie’s little voice called as her and Maks came in the door. She was bouncing in front of him as she held his hand and dragged him along.

“Out back baby.” Peta yelled. She and Sharna had set up their Chipotle lunch on a blanket like a picnic.

“Momma!” Lottie cheered as she let go of Maks’s hand and tackled her mother’s body.

“Hi baby, I missed you. Did you have fun?” Peta said as she held her daughter tightly.

“I miss you too but I have so much funs!” Lottie said happily.

“Oh I’m so glad to hear that! What did you do?” Peta said moving and settling Lottie in her lap. Maks stood behind the two watching the interaction. Sharna was across the blanket watching as well.

“We stwetched. And we played Simon. And Hokey. And we danced. And we…Oh. I forget. Aks? Elp pease?”

“We cooled down?” Maks asked trying to figure out what she was missing.

“Yeah! I bees a flower momma.” Lottie said with so much excitement that Peta couldn’t help but grin as well.

“Wow, I’ll bet you were the prettiest flower ever. Did you tell Mr. Maks thank you?” Peta asked as she played with Lottie’s hair.

“Tank you Aks! I go gin?” She said as she stood up and reached her arms up to hug him.

“We’ll have to ask momma but I think you can go again.” Maks chuckled as he hugged her back.

“K. Go see momma gin now pease.” Lottie said happily as she squirmed for a second. Maks set her down on the floor and she scrambled back over to Peta settling in her lap.

“You can sit Maks. We got lunch for everyone.” Peta said laughing at his hesitation. She knew it was because she freaked out earlier and he was worried but she was okay now. Still second guessing every single thing that she could but at the same time, she was okay.

“Oh, yes. Thanks. Sorry. I knew that.” He laughed and settled on the blanket. Peta had texted to get his order earlier so he knew lunch would be there. The group ate and then Lottie turned and curled up into her mother and fell asleep while the adults continued on. Maks was standing up getting ready to head home when he got a text from Noah.

“Oh, hey, Noah says the movie in the park tonight is the new Disney movie. He was going to take Maverick and he wanted to see if any of us wanted to go? He was going to get dinner at the pizza place we ate at that first night Peta.” Maks explained.

“I’ll go.” Sharna said immediately making both Maks and Peta look at her. She realized that she answered so quickly and her face turned about the color of her hair as she put her head down and laughed.

“Alright, so Sharna is in. I think us two are good to go as well. I’m sure Lottie would love that. She’s my little movie buddy when she isn’t on the go.”

“Okay, we can walk if that’s okay with you two. I’ll tell Noah to meet us here if that’s alright?”

“Perfect, we’ll see you guys later. I’m gonna get this one in and lay her down. She should nap a little longer if she’s not on me.” Peta said standing up and heading in. Maks got ready to leave as well but hesitated and turned back around to Sharna who was folding the blanket.

“He likes you. I know it goes without saying but he’s been through a lot. And he likes you. You’re the first person I can honestly say he really likes. I’m not saying that to pressure you or make you do anything you don’t want to or feel but just know that he likes you as well. And this is new for him. So he may not be the slickest at it or as open as a regular person would be.”

*That’s a wrap. This update was supposed to be lots of Shway but the whole Chmergs/dancing stuff kind of wrote itself and umm hello, who doesn’t think a tiny Lottie in a little bun wouldn’t be the cutest thing ever! Sorry this was a bit later than planned. My birthday is coming up so I have vacation time all around. While that usually means I say I want to write, it also means that I spend lots of time with family & friends and sometimes it doesn’t happen. I promise I will try to at least get you an update or something while I’m away. Love you guys! Don’t forget to like this one up and let me know what you think!

[sarahjane0886]

Begin Again 7

Chapter 7

"Lottie, sugar, it's time to wake up baby." Sharna said as she rubbed her favorite nieces back trying to wake the little one up. She had gotten in the previous evening super late and had asked if she could surprise her niece.

"No." Lottie grumbled as she turned away from her aunt and snuggled into her pillow while pulling Lily in tighter.

"So Aunt Sharna is going to have to play all by herself." Sharna said with a tiny giggle as she kept rubbing Lottie's back. This caught the little one's attention and she flipped over quickly.

"An Na?!" She said with wide eyes before shrieking happily.

"Hi sugar." Sharna said scooping her up and kissing her cheeks up and down making her giggle relentlessly.

"Someone excited to see her aunt I see." Peta said from the doorway as she watched the two. The site made her heart swell and calm at the same time. Having her best friend around for the next three weeks was definitely going to make life easier.

"Momma! An Na is here!" Lottie said with so much excitement that it was contagious.

"I see that baby. She's going to be with us for a bunch of days." Peta said as she scooped her daughter to give her some good morning snuggles and loves. Lottie accepted them happily before holding her arms back out to Sharna.

"Go pay An Na?"

"How about we get you some breakfast first sugar."

"You make me toast?"

"I can do that, is Momma allowed to come with us?" Sharna asked laughing.

"Yes, come Momma, peas." Lottie said waving for her mother.

"I'm coming sweetheart, oh wait, momma's phone is ringing, Shar you okay while I take this?" Peta said looking at her phone and realizing it was Maks. He never called so she was alarmed at first but figured she better answer.

"Yeah, go babe, we're good, right munchkin?" Sharna said tickling Lottie again as they headed into the kitchen leaving Peta in the living room.

"Hey, what's up?" Peta said into the phone.

"Hey, a couple things but I wanted to make sure Sharna got in last night and there were no incidents with the key." Maks's voice came across the line.

"Yes, dad, we're all safe. Key is back in the house and Sharna made it here safely." Sharna's flight had got in at 1 am and she refused to let Peta bring Lottie out at that hour. She was going to take an Uber and everything was going to be good. This however meant Peta had to leave a key outside for Sharna which Maks was not thrilled about. He argued with Peta for hours about how unsafe it was. He relented only when Peta said he could hide it and that it wouldn't happen again. He then made her go and get 3 copies made. One for Sharna to keep, one for his house just in case, and one spare to keep at her house.

"Not nice, I don't want anything to happen to you two." He huffed.

"I'm sorry, I won't tease anymore. But we're all good, I promise. Now what's up?"

"Well, you can say no."

"Oh boy, conversations that start out like that are always fun."

"No, this is a good one. So Noah always takes a few days off work here and there and takes Mav to the aquarium and to the zoo and that. They call them animal days. He usually tells me when he's going but he apparently forgot. He called this morning and asked me to invite you guys. Now I know Sharna just got in so she's probably exhausted so you guys don't have to go. I let him know Sharna was here and he said the more the merrier."

"That actually sounds fun. I had kinda nothing planned today for Sharna so she could catch up on life but I can ask her and leave it up to her. What time does he want us to be there?"

"He gets there for opening which is 9. So I'd say we'd have to leave here around 8:30 which is in 45 minutes."

"Wait, you're going?"

"Well, I'm tempted to say no now but yes, I am. I always go."

"That's not what I meant, I'm sorry. I just meant that it sounded like it was a Noah/Maverick thing." Peta explained feeling sheepish.

"It's okay, I should have said it. It's just usually implied that whenever these two do something, I'm involved. But I was going to offer to drive if that's not awkward for Sharna if you wanna go. Less cars will be easier."

"I'll talk to her. Can I text you?"

"Of course. Oh and usually we do dinner out after. There's a handful of kid friendly places down there a few with jungle gym stuff for the kids. And we take snacks and maybe grab popcorn at the aquarium."

"Alright, let me talk to Sharna and I'll text you. I'll try to let you know in the next 5." Peta said waiting for Maks to agree before ending the call. She headed into the kitchen where she found her daughter and best friend basically covered in the toast crumbs.

"Everything okay?" Sharna asked as she moved to dust herself off while Lottie finished her toast.

"Yeah, Maks wanted to make sure no one snuck into the house last night and to invite us to the aquarium with him and Noah & Maverick."

"Aks! See him momma? And Ewis?" Lottie asked nearly abandoning her toast eating.

"Maybe baby, we gotta see yet."

"Awww. I wanna see him." Lottie pouted. Peta sighed and shook her head letting her daughter be.

"So Shar, I'm kind of leaving this up to you. By no means do we have to go especially because you were traveling all night long. I actually had a quiet movie day sort of planned. So we can totally do that. I don't want to drag you out there with them just because they invited us. And if it's something you want to see we can always go at a different time."

"P, Babe, relax. We can go. It's silly to not. I'm here for 3 weeks, 2 of which you aren't working, we have lots of time for quiet days."

"Are you positive?"

"Positive, plus I want to meet these people who are taking care of my girls. Gotta make sure Aunt & Bestie approve."

"Sharna, behave."

"What? I'm allowed to interrogate your new friends." She said with a huff.

"Whatever, just don't imply anything that isn't there. There's nothing there." Peta said making her best friend's eyebrows go up. Peta moved forward to scoop up Lottie and changed the subject. "Hey baby, how would you like to go see fishies with Mr. Maks, Mr. Noah, and Maverick?"

"Fishies! And An Na? And Aks? And Momma? And eveeyone?" She said with huge eyes and such excitement that she couldn't contain herself.

"Yup, everyone." Peta said laughing as she tickled the little one.

"Yes, yes! Peas! An Na, help me get dressed?"

"I can do that sugar. Here, come here."

"Ok, I'm gonna text Maks and let him know we're good. Shar, are you okay riding with him?" Peta asked realizing she forgot to ask Sharna that important question.

"Yup, not a problem. Less cars are easier. And he seems nice. We'll be good." Sharna said easily before heading into Lottie's room to help her get dress. The three spent the next 30 minutes getting ready and packing a supply bag before heading to the porch to wait for Maks.

"Who is ready to see some fishies?" Maks asked as he appeared on his porch turning back to lock the door.

"Aks! Down peas?!" Lottie squirmed in her aunt's arms. Sharna put her down and left her scurry over to the dark haired man crossing the yards.

"You weren't kidding when you said she was enthralled." Sharna muttered. Peta had brought her up to date on Lottie's obsession with Maks so that her friend was prepared. She had also told her about her meltdown and their agreement. While Sharna hadn't been in the presence of the two yet, she agreed with what Peta had come up with. She figured it was a good way to play it safe and keep a support system. And it sounded like Maks was a good support system in any sense.

"Yeah, you just wait til she wants to nap on him." Peta said with a half grin as she led her friend across the yard. "Maks, this is Sharna. Sharna, this is Maks."

"It's nice to meet you Sharna. How was your flight?"

"Good, long, I was glad to be here. It's nice to met you as well."

"Na see fishes, Aks." Lottie explained as she looked between her aunt and new favorite person.

"Sharna's going to see the fishes! Are you excited? I love your outfit." Maks said tickling her slightly making her giggle. Sharna had helped her find a very appropriate aquarium outfit. Her top was a white tank top that said "Mermaids wish upon a starfish." She had on bright baby blue colored shorts with pink starfish all over them.

"Yes, yes."

"What do you say love?" Peta prompted her.

"Tank you." She blushed and got shy as she buried into his neck. He pressed a kiss to her head like it was normal. Peta caught it and it threw her off. It was the first time he had done that. Normally he just cuddled her and rubbed her back. Not that it wasn't okay but it was just new.

"Do you think we need her stroller?" Peta asked.

"I don't think so. Since it's a weekday, it shouldn't be too crowded Most of the exhibits are going to be ones where even though she could just look, she may want to explore."

"I'm more worried about her getting tired and wanting carried."

"I think there's enough of us that can handle her. Noah usually kinda sets a rest time aside and Mav has fallen asleep a time or two but then we just wait out him waking up."

"Alright, if you say so." Peta said with a smirk. Maks shook his head and they all headed to his car. The ride to the aquarium was filled with easy chatter. Sharna sat in the back at Lottie's request while Maks and Peta sat up front. Maks explained some of the perks and things they could do while they were there. Once they parked they went on a mission to find Noah & Maverick.

"Hey guys, I already got the tickets so we're good to go in. You must be Sharna. Hi, I'm Noah and this here is Maverick. He's pretty shy, so don't be upset if you get the brush off at first."  

"Nice to meet you Noah. And hi Maverick. Aren't you handsome?" Sharna said as everyone watched in slight shock as Maverick looked at the lady and then smiled softly.

"Hi, thank you." He whispered.

"You're so welcome. Are you ready to see the fishies? I know Lottie is excited about the otters. What's your favorite?"

"Rays. I touch em." He said with a bigger grin.

"No way! That's scary! You touch the sting rays?" Sharna said in shock making the little boy giggle.

"No scary, they splash. Daddy get wet." Maverick said continuing to giggle.

"He got wet?"

"Yeah, the little bugger decided that he liked Maverick so much that he was going to put on a show. Needless to say, I was in the soak zone when I wasn't even aware there was a soak zone." Noah said dryly.

"Oh it was hilarious. I think I have pictures on my facebook. And a video. Oh yes, i do. I was videoing because Mav was so excited and the sting ray was having a blast. Noah's face is priceless." Maks inserted.

"You're holding him this time." Noah said with a grin.

"Sharna, you touch sting rays?" Maverick asked Sharna curiously.

"What if I'm afraid?" She asked getting another grin from him.

"I hold yous hand. You be brave." Maverick said proudly.

"Okay, as long as you hold my hand I'll do it." Sharna said holding her hand out to shake on it. The two made their deal and then the group decided where they wanted to go first. They figured they'd start with the river side of things and then move towards the ocean, stopping somewhere in between for a snack/rest break.

"Alright, Mav, you want to stay up or you want to walk?" Noah asked when they got inside.

"Walk." He requested.

"Okay, remember the rules, you have to hold a big person's hand.

"Sharna?" He asked curiously looking between his dad and the red head.

"You want to hold Sharna's hand?" Noah repeated thrown off for a second. He was usually a straight up daddy's boy with the exception of Uncle Maks. Maverick nodded at his dad's question. "You can, but you have to ask her if that's okay?"

"Sharna?" Maverick said as he pressed into Noah's neck. This time the question was directed at the red head.

"I can hold your hand buddy." Sharna said holding out her arms and helping him stand. Then she took his hand and his grin got even bigger.

"Okay Miss Lottie, same rules. If you want to walk, you have to hold a big person's hand, okay?" Peta said looking at her daughter from her perch on Maks's shoulders.

"I tay." She said with a giggle as Maks tipped her backwards. Peta nodded and the group set off. They worked their way through the river portion looking at all the wildlife and animals before they were almost through the entire exhibit. They were just finishing up in the butterfly garden when Noah suggested it be snack time. Peta readily agreed seeing the look on Lottie's face, a break and some fuel would do the kids good. Maverick however did not agree in the least.

"No stop! See rays!" He said as he threw himself down and sat at Sharna's feet. All four adults as well as Lottie looked at him in shock. The kids had been standing with Sharna who managed to catch a butterfly so they were investigating. Lottie watched for a second before moving over to Maks.

"Up peas?" She said holding her arms up to the man. He nodded and scooped her up as she buried into his neck. Peta could see the sleepiness wearing on her.

"You okay if I walk her?" Maks asked knowing at this point Lottie's sleepy face. She squirmed around on his chest finding her way to where she liked to be.

"As long as you don't mind. I have Lily and blankie in here." Ever since her meltdown, Peta hadn't fought too hard whenever Lottie wanted Maks or when Maks offered to help. It took some of her anxiety with the situation away. It seemed the less she fought, the better it was.

"I don't. Here miss, here's Lily and Blankie, let's go get some air and walk a bit. I'll meet you back at the tables where we usually snack." Maks said more towards Peta. She nodded and pressed a kiss to Lottie's cheek before turning her attention to Maverick's current meltdown on the floor. He was currently clinging to Sharna's leg while Noah tried to talk to him. He looked like a little monkey attached to her best friend. If it wasn't for the situation of the meltdown she'd have probably laughed.

"Maverick. We can go home." Noah finally threatened only making the little boy cry harder. Sharna closed her eyes and counted to three before saying a silent prayer that she wasn't overstepping.

"Can I try?" Sharna asked softly looking at Noah. He looked up at her with a defeated look and shook his head.

"Hey Mav, buddy. Can you look at me for a second?" Sharna said bending down as best as she could while he griped her leg. He shook his head hard for a second and she ran her fingers through his hair. She felt him calm down slightly and decided to just keep up with the motion. After a few minutes, he stopped sobbing.

"Forget the ray. Mav no see them."

"Oh buddy. Come here." Sharna said slipping her hands under his arms. She scooped him up and left him wrap around her body. "We're not going to forget your sting rays. Daddy just wanted you to get some snacks in you so you're ready to be big and strong when you help me be brave. Remember? You're still going to help me be brave right?"

"No forget?" He whispered still clinging to her neck.

"No, we won't forget them. I promise."

"Pinky?" He asked, relaxing his one arm's grip from her body.

"Pinky." She said locking pinky's with him. He let go of her finger and just curled into her neck as his fingers laced into her ponytail.

"Uh, umm, thank you." Noah said nervously. It was clear that he wasn't really sure how to go about dealing with that situation.

"No problem. We went through alot with Lottie and Ollie. Sometimes she just needed someone different to hear her out. It's no big deal really." Sharna said giving Peta the come help me eye.

"She's right. I feel like these two are at that age right now where it's just needing to know that they are being heard. And they know we are hearing them but they are learning that sometimes we still don't allow them to get away with things. I don't know...they are 2. And trust me, there were many times when I thought my only option was to sit on the floor next to Lottie and have the same temper tantrum. And then Sharna would step in and suddenly she was calm. The first few times I was convinced I was a bad mom but then I just realized that sometimes they need to know others are there too."

"Ha, I just told that to Maks the other day. Guess I should listen to my own words. Speaking of where is he?"

"And Lottie?" Sharna added.

"She had the sleepy look and she curled into him so he took her to walk. He said to tell you he'd meet us at the tables. My bet is that when he comes back, she's out. She probably won't nap long but she needed it. She tried to stay up last night waiting for Sharna. Exhaustion won at about 10."

"She loves him." Noah said matter of factly.

"She does." Peta nodded as she looked back into the butterfly garden.

"Alright, let's go to these tables before Maks and Lottie beat us there." Sharna said breaking the awkwardness.

"Here Mav, can you come with me now?" Noah said holding this arms out to his son.

"No, stay with Sharna." He said as his grip tightened on her.

"Mav..."

"He's okay Noah. We're just going outside, he can stay with me." Sharna said gently. Noah nodded and sighed before turning to lead the group out.

"He's falling asleep." Peta whispered.

"Now I know how Maks feels." Sharna returned as she shifted Maverick slightly and tucked him into her better. She moved her one hand to rub his back. Peta gave her a look but didn't say anything. They found the tables and Maks and Lottie. Peta was right and her daughter was out on her current favorite sleeping place.

"You want me to take her?" Peta said, feeling required to offer. Maks gave her a look that clearly said I don't even know why you ask before he settled into a seat and adjusted the little girl against him.

"Noah, I think he's out." Sharna said feeling Maverick's dead weight sink into her.

"And that would be a yes. Thank you again. I can take him now if you want."

"I'm okay keeping him actually. I've kinda missed holding that one and we can see just how that's going right now." Sharna said tossing her head towards Maks and Lottie.

"Hey, I'm sorry. I'm new." He said in surrender making the group chuckle. They turned their conversation to some easier topics before Peta remembered she wanted to talk to Noah about Maverick's daycare. It had been something that she and Sharna were going to accomplish while she was there however, now that they knew Noah and Maverick, she figured she may try to get them in there. Lottie may do better having a buddy she knew. Surprisingly the group got along well. At one point Sharna and Noah were involved in a conversation when Maks leaned over and whispered in Peta's ear.

"He likes her. He's awkward as all get out but he likes her." Maks whispered. Peta had noticed it too. The longer they sat and the more comfortable the conversation was, the more Noah loosened up. And actually Peta noticed the same in Sharna. She leaned in closer to him instinctively, and she smiled more towards him.

"She likes him too." Peta agreed nodding her head toward Sharna's current giggle.

"This oughtta be interesting. He hasn't dated anyone since. But I think it's past time."

"He'd be safe with her. MInus the distance, I know my best friend, she wouldn't hurt him unless it was warranted. And it would take a lot for it to be warranted in her book."

"He'd be good to her too if it matters."

"He better be. I'll have ass kicking to do. Maybe we can get my bestie out here." Peta said with a wink.

"Guess we have three weeks to play matchmaker. Sound like fun?" Maks said holding his hand out for Peta to shake.

"What are you two conspiring over there?" Noah asked seeing Peta shake hands with Maks.

"Just a bet on which kid was waking up first." Peta said blowing off the question before starting another subject of things to do with Sharna while she was there. The group returned to talking easily while they waited for the little ones to wake up while Maks and Peta both starting their matchmaking plans in their head.

**Okay folks, so I this is going to shift into kind of a Chmergs/Shway deal. It'll be mainly Chmergs with hints of Shway. I want to explore both sides of new relationships and dealing with that. Hope you enjoyed this one. I'm hoping to have the next Chmergess (Fix A Heart) chapter up in a few days. Summer is busy peeps, super busy. And then Wattpad eating my updates do not help. Don't forget to like this up and let me know what you thought in the comments. Love you allll! Thanks for dealing with my droughts all the time. It means the world. :)

[sarahjane0886]

Begin Again 4

Chapter 4

“Hey babe, sorry it’s taken so long, how is it going?” Sharna asked her best friend of 15 years.

“It’s going. I just, it’s a lot. But we’re settling in. It rained the past two days straight and without a car, I wasn’t really about to go anywhere. But that means I did get mostly everything unpacked. Now it’s just organizing, decorating, and getting the big stuff upstairs.”

“When does your car come again? That has to be awful for the both of you. Wait back up how is my favorite munchkin?”

“Slightly a hot mess but good all at the same time. She’s just either content or clingy which makes sense. She’s doing amazing though honestly. I expected a lot more meltdowns.” Peta said as she curled into the corner of the sofa.

“Good, good. What’s she doing now?”

“Sleeping.” After shopping and lunch, Maks convinced Peta to let him keep Lottie in the yard so she could put away the groceries. Then they had gone with Maks and Louis for the evening walk, stopping at the park for a little bit. Maks showed Peta a sandwich shop and they grabbed dinner there. Lottie fell asleep on Maks on the way back home again. So Peta had tucked her into her bed before grabbing a glass of lemonade and curling up on the couch. That had been when Sharna picked the perfect time to call.

“Aww crap, I keep forgetting this time difference thing.”

“Yeah, that alone is going to take some getting used to.” Peta laughed.

“So how’s the neighborhood?”

“It’s good. It’s beautiful. There’s a park a few blocks from here with a pond and ducks. Then from the park it’s about another 2 blocks to get to the downtown area where there’s a lot of restaurants and little shops. We’re kind of in the perfect area.”

“That’s great. And does Lottie love the swing set?”

“Uhh, yes. She would live out there if I would let her.”

“I don’t doubt this, that girl and her swings. Back to the car though, when does it come?”

“Friday morning, so we have about 2 days.”

“That has to be horrible? What are you guys eating? And you said it’s been raining right? How are you getting anywhere?” Sharna said concerned.

“Well they have this thing here, Dinner Delivered. And basically it’s every restaurant in the area and you just order and someone brings it to you. We’ve done a lot of that, however our neighbor took us grocery shopping today.”

“Wait, excuse me? You got in the car with a random woman? Peta Jane Kingston!”

“Umm….it was a man.” Peta mumbled.

“What the heck? Are you serious? What were you thinking? You can’t be serious. I mean I know a lot of stuff has gone down but to be so reckless. And Lottie, you put Lottie in a car with a random strange man. What in……” Sharna yelled again and again.

“Stop. First off, you don’t get to talk to me that way. Second off, you have no idea what’s going on, you’re assuming everything. And third off, even if that’s what I was choosing to do, you’re not my mother, or my father, or my husband. You’re my best friend so slow your roll.” Peta interjected clearly over the entire situation. She had been hesitant with everything about Maks from the beginning just because of the history.

“You’re right. I’m sorry. I just, I was worried. Can you explain please?” Sharna said with a sigh.

“It’s okay. I, yeah, I can explain. I just, I’m lost here too.”

“I’m sorry babe. I wish I was there.” Sharna said hearing the tone in her friend’s voice.

“Me too but we’ll figure it out. Anyways, so you know about the swing set, so the first day, Lottie wanted to play on the swing set. So we’re out there playing and the neighbor has a puppy. It’s a chocolate lab which is adorable to begin with but Lottie saw the puppy and wanted to see him. Our yards are separated by a half fence so she tried to bolt. I grabbed her in an attempt to stop her because I wasn’t sure what the puppy would do and well that’s sketchy. She full out lost it. So the owner appears and says if it’s okay she can pet him. His name is Maks. So Lottie pets the puppy, whose name is Louis by the way. Well then I tell her we need to go because we’re awkwardly standing in the yard. She flipped out again. So he says that he and Louis walk every evening and they usually go down by a park. He invited us. So with that she settled enough for me to get her in and start working on unpacking.”

“So I’m assuming you went?”

“We did. Lottie about had a conniption because I didn’t want to go. And you know I don’t frequently give into her but at the same time…”

“You just moved, she lost her dad, and she’s little.”

“Right. And she was cooped up in the house all day watching “Mawee” on the iPad.”

“Oh her and that cat.”

“Seriously. But so we went for the walk. When Maks found out we hadn’t ate, he showed me the downtown strip, which by the way is super cute and fun. There was a pizza shop that we stopped at but it was late so after Lottie ate, she was tired. She asked for Maks.”

“Wait excuse me? She hasn’t gone down for anyone but you since Ollie went into the hospital. I mean after she’d cry herself to sleep those days I kept her she’d go for me. But so she wanted this random stranger.”

“Yeah, I know. I didn’t say anything that night because I thought maybe it was a fluke. He was new, he got her pizza, helped her feed ducks, let her play with his puppy so she was kind of mesmerized. But…”

“But what babe?”

“Well, we had breakfast on the porch this morning. And when she saw Louis, she wanted to see him and Maks. Well Maks came and met me at the fence so he could get her and after she had seen Louis and Maks and I were discussing shopping, she just curled up on him and snuggled. It was so sweet but Shar…I just…”

“I’m sorry babe.”

“I know she’s missing that. She still asks to tell Ollie goodnight and she talks about him but I think she’s just missing a daddy figure. She was his world.”

“She was. I mean, so this Maks guy doesn’t sound half bad but how is this on you?”

“Rough. I miss Ollie but there’s this instinct to trust him and let him help. Just like today. I mean yeah we could have waited for groceries but it was nice knowing I had support. I know I have you and all our parents but someone here.”

“I get that. I’ve been worried about you having no one. Not that I think you can’t do it but its hard.”

“Yeah, well, apparently though I’m not ready to have someone. I had a panic attack at the grocery store.”

“Because it was like normal life?” Sharna said knowingly.

“Exactly. Maks took over though. He got me water and then distracted me. We took Lottie to the park across the street and he played with her while I collected myself. Then Lottie slept on him again. Just like she’d sleep on Ollie.” Peta said softly.

“Oh P.” Sharna said gently feeling horrible that she yelled about this initially. She had no idea what was going on and it was the exact opposite of what she had assumed.

“Yeah, I just, I don’t know Shar.” She said as she felt her tears fill up her throat.

“I’m coming to visit in a few weeks.” Sharna reminded her. She knew it wasn’t a fix but it was a way to help out. It was going to be the week before and the week of that Peta started back to work. They were going to find childcare for Lottie and just enjoy some girl time.

“I miss you.” Peta said as the tears slipped out.

“I miss you too babe. It’ll get easier I promise. This is a good thing remember. No memories or haunting thoughts. You get a fresh start.”

“Maybe this wasn’t what I needed. Maybe I needed to fight my fears head on.”

“You won’t know until you try love. You’ve only been there officially for 4 days. Give it time. The first bit is always the hardest. Look at how long it took us to adapt to coming to the states.”

“We had each other though.”

“We still do, it’s just a bit different.”

“It sucks.” Peta said as she wiped her tears and chuckled.

“It does. But we’ll figure it out, we always do.”

“What do I do about Maks?” Peta said as she tucked into the couch.

“What do you want to do about Maks?”

“I don’t know. I really don’t. I feel like I need to let Lottie have that. I feel like I need to accept his support which he has been great about as well as respecting boundaries and knowing when to push like today with the panic attack. But at the same time I feel like I’m betraying Ollie and his memory.”

“But what would Ollie want. He’d want you to be happy Peta. He’d want you to eventually move on. Find someone to be there for Lottie. Find someone for you. He wouldn’t want you to be alone forever.”

“I’m not dating this guy Sharna.” Peta said sharply.

“Whoa, I didn’t say for you to date him. I just said for you to not so much as focus on whether you’re betraying Ollie. He wouldn’t want that for you. He’d want you to move on, just like we said. He’d want you to be happy. So what makes you happy?”

“Having my husband back.” Peta said as the tears started again.

“Oh babe.” Sharna said falling silent as she let her best friend get this out. She knew for a fact that she was holding it together solely for the sake of Lottie so when she hit this wall, she’d just let her be and be there for her.

“I’m sorry.” Peta finally murmured after a good 5 minutes of tears and sniffling.

“No babe, no. You need this and you know I’m here for you. I just wish I could fix it all but I know we can’t so I’m just here for whatever and whenever you need.”

“I love you. Tell me about LA. I need distracted.” Peta said softly. Sharna granted her wish and shifted to the new conversation and began telling her about the latest in LA and what was going on. Eventually the two ended the call. Peta had intended on getting ready for bed, however she was just too antsy so she grabbed a blanket and went to the swing. She curled up in the corner and just stared into the night air. She sat there as the tears started again. She let them fall this time as she watched the stars and had a mini conversation with Ollie in her mind. She told him about the move, Lottie, and then after some consideration she told him and Maks.

“I don’t know what to do babe. I feel like even being his friend is betraying you. But Lottie loves him and he makes me feel safe. I’m not ready for anything more than a friendship though. I don’t think he’d expect anything else but still.” She said falling silent. She wasn’t sure where her brain was. She had only known Maks for a total of 4 days, but she had felt this immediate connection to him. She felt safe and she had only felt that once before, with Ollie. She had dated numerous other people but this level was different.

“Louis! It’s bedtime!” Peta heard Maks’s voice which startled her. She jumped and made the swing shake in result.

“Oh my god, Peta, I’m sorry.” Maks said as he looked over and saw her sitting there on the swing.

“It’s okay. You didn’t know.” She said attempting to clear the frog in her throat from her tears.

“Are you okay?” He asked catching her tone and voice.

“I umm, yeah. It’s just been one of those days.” She said as she immediately berated herself for admitting that to him.

“From the shopping trip?” He asked as she moved closer to the edge of his porch.

“That and just everything. It’s okay though. I’ll be okay.” She said with a weak smile trying to show him that she really was okay.

“Well, just in case, you know where to find me.” He said gently catching that she was trying to get away from the current conversation.

“Thank you.” She said softly as she looked out into the yard again.

“Hey, so real quick, when I was helping with Lottie today, I couldn’t help but notice that it looks like you have some things that need to move that are pretty heavy. Would you be okay if I came over to help with those?”

“Maks…..” Peta said with a chuckle. She wasn’t really sure where this man came from but he was making it super hard to push him away.

“What?! You can’t live with dressers in your living room.” He said laughing.

“Fine, but you’ll at least let me get you dinner for helping. You’ve done enough for the both of us. I need to repay you.” She finally relented.

“Peta, you don’t need to repay me.”

“Maksssss!” She said sharply in a tone that said it wasn’t up for discussion.

“Did you just mom voice me?”

“Yes, now you either help and dinner or no help and no dinner. Either or, your choice.” She said giving him a look that he could barely make out in the dark.

“Fine. Dinner. But..”

“No buts.” She interjected.

“I was going to ask that I’m around when they drop your car off.”

“Why are you going to yell?”

“Yes and no. I think they need to hear again just what they put you through. So I would like to be around just in case they give you a hard time.”

“It’s not this drivers fault.” She argued.

“I know but he works for the company. He can at least relay the message. I won’t be mean. I promise.” He said. He wasn’t sure where his sudden need to protect this new lady and her daughter in his life came from but he knew he needed to do what he needed to do. He was protective and nice in general because that’s the way he was raised, however, this was above what he would normally do.

“Fine. They are supposed to deliver Friday around 12. Don’t you work, ever?” She said.

“Yeah, I do. However since the studio is kind of mine, it comes with some perks. Not that I blow it off but I can delegate when needed.”

“Maks…wait do you have a middle name?” She said laughing at her question.

“You’ll hate it. You’ll never be able to say it.” He teased.

“Try me.”

“Well first off my first name is Maksim. And my middle name is Aleksanderovich.” He said as he seen her mouth drop open.

“What in the world! Maksim Alesandrosh?” She said giggling at the way it came out.

“It’s Russian Ukrainian. But no, that was kinda close. It’s Alexander – o –vich” He said sounding it out.

“Alex – ander – o –vish.” She repeated with more a s at the end.

“It’s more of a c like in sandwich but close enough. I will say that’s pretty impressive.”

“Thank you. Now back to what I was doing Maksim Alexander – o – vich! You can’t make people work more hours just because you’re helping me.” She said with the mom look again.

“I’m not! Geesh. It’s just my paper work and stuff. My classes are little ones like I told you so they are usually early in the mornings. They work best when they are first awake and happy. Then I ship them off for naptime with their parents all worn out and cranky.”

“That’s not nice. Not nice at all. Next time Lottie is crabby and whiny, I’ll ship her to visit you.”

“I wouldn’t mind that at all. I’m quite fond of that little girl.”

“And she of you already. Thank you for being so good with her. I think she needs it with Ollie gone.” Peta said softly trailing off.

“Hey, Peta, look at me.” He said catching the tone.

“Yeah?”

“No one will ever replace Ollie, I can promise you that. But I’m more than happy to step up and help her and you whenever you need.” He said with a small reassuring small.

“Thank you. I can’t promise that more of what happened earlier won’t happen again, but I do appreciate what you’re doing.” She said.

“Anytime miss. I suppose I’ll let you go get some sleep. I’ll bet your tiny miss is going to be up early just ready and raring to go.”

“Oh, you’re not a kidding. She’s on the go from start til finish.”

“That’s the best way for a little one.”

“Okay, the next time she’s up from 6 am til 10 pm with no nap, I’ll ship her over with you and Louis.” Peta said with that same look from before.

“You just let me know.” Maks said with a smirk.

“I hate you right now.” She said as she realized that wasn’t going to work. He already adored the little one.

“No you don’t. That wouldn’t be nice.”

“Whatever, it’s bedtime.” She said standing up and gathering her blanket and Kleenex that had fallen to the floor.

“Alright Miss Peta. Go to sleep. I’ll see you tomorrow I’m sure. You let me know when you want to do the stuff. And actually I can have my friend Noah come help. He may just have to bring his little one with him, is that okay?”

“Maks! You’re not roping someone else into this.”

“It’ll give Lottie a friend. His son is 2 years too. He’s a single dad.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“No, well the mother was never in the picture. I mean she carried the baby but signed all the rights away immediately.”

“Wow. That’s horrible. I can’t imagine.” She said with a frown.

“I can’t either. And Maverick is such a sweetheart. I just, I can’t. I mean I’m partially glad she’s out of the picture. She put him through the ringer but still. That’s a horrible thing to do to a child.”

“It is. I mean, I know that’s what Lottie has to deal with but her situation wasn’t because of a choice. It was just a result of the world.

“Exactly. It doesn’t make it better but on some level, it’s less of a horrible thing almost. In some twisted sense.” Maks said as he trailed off.

“Yeah….well if you think he’d want to come over that’s fine. But not because I can’t help. Only because I’m sure Lottie would enjoy having a buddy for a while.” Peta said with a grin imagining Lottie and a little boy chasing each other around the yard.

“Alright, are you okay with Saturday? Noah works during the week.”

“Yeah that’s fine.”

“Okay, I’ll let him know. Maybe once we get everything situated for you, we can take them to the park or something. The ducks should really be out then. And Mav loves Louis. That is as long as you guys aren’t doing anything.”

“Umm, what would you think we’re doing?” Peta asked with a smirk.

“I don’t know! I didn’t want to presume! And you said you transferred here. I didn’t know when that happened.” He rambled clearly flustered.

“Three weeks. They gave me a month to get situated on top of everything else. It was Ollie’s company too so they’ve been quite helpful.”

“I’m glad to hear that. Well….” He said trailing off not sure how to fix that.

“No, I understand what you meant. I’m glad too. But Saturday sounds good. And we can play the park by ear depending on how the kids get along and naps and stuff.”

“Sounds good. Okay, goodnight Miss Peta.” Maks said with a  wave as he whistled for Louis.

“Goodnight Maksim.” She said softly with a smile. She watched his figure retreat into the house before looking up at the sky again. It seemed like for a few seconds that the sky got brighter before dimming out again.

“That’s your answer huh babe. Let him help. I will. I just need to do it at my pace. I love you Oliver. And I miss you more every single day.” She pressed her lips to her fingers before blowing the kiss into the air. She headed up to bed, checking on Lottie on her way who was snuggled into her blankets with her kitten tucked into her arm, before she curled up herself. It took a while to decompress but she eventually fell into a fitful sleep.

**Okay so this doesn't compare to the awesomeness that was our lives this weekend with our babies. I still can't with so much. I'm not sure about the rest of you all but I can't believe i'm still breathing! Anyway, since we went from Chmergs overload to steep decline in our goodies, here's a new piece to this story. I hope you guys like it. Don't forget to like it up and let me know what you thought in the comments. Love you all!

[sarahjane0886]

Begin Again 3

Chapter 3

The two days following the excursion to the park and pizza shop were filled with rain. This resulted in no outside time as well as no shopping or anything for Peta and Lottie. The was a hang up with Peta's car so they still didn't have travel means. She could have continued to Uber however she wasn't too thrilled about putting Lottie in the car time and time again without a proper seat. Plus this had given her time to get a lot of the unpacking done. Now it was mainly odds and ends, decorating, and some of the big things.

"Momma, momma! I is up!" Lottie called from her bedroom that morning. Peta smiled softly and crawled out of bed to go get her daughter. Lottie still slept in a crib because she had a habit of being an explorer. The crib tended to make that a little less of a possibility. As long as Peta got her quickly that is.

"Good morning baby, did you have good sleeps?" Peta said as she scooped her baby out of the crib. Lottie burrowed into her mother's chest. She was a cuddly little girl especially when she just woke up.

"Mmhmm, sunny?" She said as she pointed out the window to where the sky was finally blue and the rain had ceased.

"It is sunny sweetheart. I think today we may have to go for a walk. Let's go potty and then we can have breakfast first." Peta said taking Lottie to the bathroom and helping her handle everything. Then they headed downstairs to find breakfast.

"Momma, toast?" Lottie asked. It was usually her favorite breakfast however since they had moved, she hadn't really had the opportunity to have it.

"Umm, we still don't have toast baby. I think we're going to find a store today. At least so we can get some groceries. We can take your wagon." Peta explained praying that would distract her enough from her breakfast desires.

"Park?" She asked.

"We can stop at the park." Peta confirmed.

"Yayay!" Lottie cheered.

"How about I get your cereal and we can go sit on the swing?" Peta suggested.

"You push me?"

“Well, how about we sit on the big swing and then after we get dressed, Momma will push you on your swing?” Peta suggested.

“Tay.” She nodded as she rested her head back on Peta’s shoulder while she played with Lily’s ear. Peta gathered the breakfast supplies before heading to the porch with the munchkin. She settled her in her lap before giving her the cereal and juice. They sat there quietly as they enjoyed the morning air.

“Momma, finished.” Lottie said after she had finished her cereal.

“Good job baby, do you want more?” Peta asked.

“No. All good.” She said smiling before cuddling into Peta. Peta had figured she would be ready to move at that point so she enjoyed the cuddles.

“I love you sugar.” Peta said kissing her head.

“Wuv you too momma.” Lottie said back.

“Maybe we’ll get you a treat at the store today since you’ve been such a big girl.”

“Lollipop?”

“I think we can do that. Maybe you can get some popsicles too?” Peta suggested as she prayed that there was an actual store close, even if it was a bit more expensive. She’d just get a few things until her car came in two days.

“Ohhh, yes! Puppy! Ewis! Aks! See them!” Lottie cheered as she heard Louis’s barks as he skipped out of the house. It looked like they had a doggie door over there because other than Louis there was no movement.

“Baby, I don’t know that….”

“Hey you two, are you thoroughly soaked from all that rain?” Maks said appearing on his porch.

“Aks!!! See him!” Lottie yelped happily as she squirmed out of Peta’s arms.

“Whoa baby, hang on, you can’t get to Mr. Maks.” Peta said scrambling to catch the sleeper clad toddler who yelled in displeasure at being stopped.

“Do you…” Maks looked at her with wide eyes. He had been moving to go closer to his neighbor’s porch.

“She’s not dressed. Neither am I.” Peta said sheepishly.

“Well, you’re wearing clothes. I can come closer if you’re okay with it.”

“I mean, you don’t have to.”

“Maybe I wanted to see her too.” Maks said with a shrug.

“Maks….” Peta muttered as she shook her head. He chuckled and shrugged his shoulders. She moved to the fence line, careful to stay on the paved ground near her porch.

“Aks!” Lottie said flinging her arms over the fence as he easily caught her. She cuddled into him making Peta cringe.

“Hi Miss Lottie, did you miss me?” Maks asked as he held her. He mouthed sorry to Peta as he saw the look cross her face.

“Ess, lots.” She said as she held tight to him.

“That’s because there was a lot of rain huh?”

“Yeah, no toast.” Lottie said making Peta crack up finally.

“What?” Maks said laughing.

“You’re still stuck on that toast huh?” Peta said laughing. “Her favorite breakfast is toast but I haven’t had a chance to go get us any. She asked for toast this morning but I had to sell her on cereal. I told her we’d walk to the store later. Well if I can find a store.”

“You are going to have a car right?” Maks questioned.

“Yeah, mine is on it’s way. There was just a hang up so it's arriving a few days later than planned."

“Peta! You’ve been here for 3 days already. What kind of hang up is that! That’s not okay.” Maks said as his protective side busted out.

“Whoa, it’s okay. I already fought with them.”

“And you’re getting money back?”

“A voucher.” She said with a teasing look in her eyes.

“What?! For what?! Are you….you’re teasing right?” He said finally catching the glow in her eyes. Lottie realized that she was no longer participating in the conversation and curled into Maks. He automatically began to sway with her as he rubbed her back. Peta caught it as well and felt the usual twinge in her belly.

“Yes, I’m teasing. They knocked half the cost off. It was their mistake with scheduling for drivers. So after I yelled for about 5 minutes that they were stranding me and my child without means of transportation for the next week, they discounted half the price.”

“Good. It should be free. How have you been getting around?”

“Uber. Well initially that is. After we got to the house, I haven’t gone anywhere because I don’t like putting her in the Uber without the car seat. While we were at the hotel the first 2 days, it wasn’t an option but now…”

“So you haven’t been able to get groceries this whole time?” Maks said as it all clicked as to why toast was such an issue this morning.

“No, it’s not a big deal. I mean it’s been raining and we have had some stuff. We just got well versed in some of the take out places.”

“Peta.” He said with a look.

“What? What else would you have liked me to do?”

“I…well I don’t know. But I can take you for groceries.” He said.

“Maks, no. I can’t have you do that, You already showed us the park and took us for pizza. And we can walk to the grocery store and get some things. Then when my car comes, I’ll just do a big trip.”

“Peta, I have to go anyways. I was actually planning on going today since it stopped raining.”

“I can’t ask you to do that.”

“You’re not asking, I’m offering.”

“Maks.”

“Peta.” He countered back.

“She’s a handful at the grocery story.”

“Exactly, so you mean to tell me you wouldn’t rather have an extra set of hands.” He said with a look.

“I mean….” She stuttered as the twinge continued in her belly but her head told her to go with it.

“I’m assuming you have a car seat here already from the plane?”

“Yes.”

“Alright, show me where it is. I can hook it in and then whenever you’re ready we can go.”

“You’re not going to give in on this are you?”

“No, like I said last night, I feel the need to be around you and help you out. You need to know the layout of the area anyways and I’m more than happy to help. And like you said she’s a handful at the store so an extra set of hands will help. And my parents raised me to help out and be polite to everyone who was around. My mom would kill me if she knew I wasn’t at least offering to help.”

“So you offer all new neighbors rides to the grocery store?”

“Noooo.” He said laughing.

“I need to make a list. I suppose I should get what we’ll need.”

“You should, that way it’s out of the way.” He said.

“I told her we’d go to the park.”

“You guys can walk with me and Louis later.”

“You’re going to fix everything I throw at you huh?”

“Yup. Let me help Peta.”

“Why?”

“Because, I told you, I feel the need too and I want to. Please just let me. You need someone on your side in a brand new area. Especially because it's only you two.”

“Fine. I need to make the list and we both need to get dressed.” She said finally giving in.

“An hour?” He asked.

“Probably, maybe an hour and a half.”

“Okay, where’s the carseat? I can put it in and then you can let me know when you’re ready.”

“It’s inside the front door. Meet me on the porch, I think I just learned to not fight with you on this.”

“Good job. I’ll keep this one.” He said as he and Lottie headed to the end of the fence line and moved to the front porch. Peta appeared soon after with the car seat.

“Do you need help?”

“Nope, my best friend has a little one and I’ve helped with him a lot. So I’m good. Here Lottie, I’ll see you in a little bit.”

“Aks go bye bye?” She asked as her lip trembled.

“Just for a little bit. I have to go get clean so I can go shopping with you and Momma.”

“Lollipop?” She asked.

“Yes, baby, Maks is going to go with us to get your lollipop. We have to get you dressed though, okay?”

“Tay, Lily come too?” She asked.

“Yup, Lily can come too.” Peta said laughing as Lottie cheered in excitement. She let Peta take her off of Maks and they headed in. Peta got them ready before starting to make her list. As she kept going, she realized just how long it was and all the little things she was going to need. She started to highlight different things. Things she could get later when she had her car. Finally she was done and ready to go.

“Wait, how do I tell him we’re ready….” She wondered aloud just as there was a knock on the door.

“Aks!” Lottie cheered from her spot on the couch with the iPad. Peta had set her up with a cartoon while she made the list.

“Come in.” Peta said as she realized her question was answered.

“Sorry, I just realized that we hadn’t picked a time. If you’re not ready, I can come back.”

“No it’s fine, I actually just finished. I was in the same boat as you. I just need to throw a couple things into the diaper bag.”

“Want me to put her in the car?”

“I need her to go to the bathroom first, come here baby, then you can go with Mr. Maks and get in the car.” Peta said taking Lottie away leaving Maks in the living room. He looked around and realized that she had accomplished most of the unpacking so far. However there were some items that looked to be kinda heavy. He figured he would offer to help her with those as well. He couldn’t shake the idea that he just wanted to be near the two. He did realize that her losing her husband was not something that he could take over. He needed to not overwhelm her but he could still be a friend.

“Aks!” Lottie yelled as she ran into the living room with her arms up. He easily intercepted the tiny munchkin settling her on his hip.

“Do we have Lily?” He asked. He had quickly learned that they didn't go anywhere without the stuffed kitten.

“Couch.” She said pointing to where she had been originally sitting. He moved them over and found the kitten, handing it to her. Then he took them out and got her strapped into the car seat, listening to her rambles the entire time. Peta came out soon after and slide into the front seat after he held the door open for her.

Once they arrived at the store, Peta collected Lottie while Maks got a cart. She got Lottie situated and they headed in. Suddenly, Peta got an intense feeling of déjà vu. She stopped dead in the doorway with Maks walking directly into her back.

“Hey, you okay?” He asked gently.

“I….” She trailed off as she squeezed her eyes shut trying to stop the memories. This was all too real with Maks being with her and Lottie. It was just like Ollie but with a different person. She suddenly wasn’t sure if she could do this.

“Breathe. I’m going to move us out of the way.” He said gently as he placed his hand on the small of her back and guided them over out of the way.

“It’s just like, it’s too much the same.” She muttered.

“With your husband.” Maks asked pulling his hand back.

“Yes. I…I can’t I don’t know that I can do this.” She rambled.

“Okay, wait, let’s take a second. You have to get groceries. And we’re here. What would help? Don’t answer that. Just breathe.”

“Okay.” She nodded.

“Here, I’m going to get you a water. You okay with Lottie?”

“Yeah, she’s fine. You don’t…” She trailed off seeing that he was already gone when she said she was okay with her baby. She nearly laughed at that concept. If he would have seen her some of these times, he would honestly question her ability to be okay with Lottie.

"Here." He said thrusting a bottle of water towards her. She took a couple sips and her hand found it's way to her necklace around her neck. Ollie had given it to her the night before they had gotten married and now it never came off her neck.

"Momma?" Lottie asked nervously at seeing her upset.

"It's okay baby." Peta said softly as she worked on settling herself for Lottie.

"Let's pause on the store." Maks suggested. "There's a park across the street, Lottie can play, you can collect your thoughts."

"Okay." Peta nodded giving Maks a good indication of just how shook up she was. He took the cart from her and put it back before guiding them out of the grocery store. He then led them over to the park across the street and they got Lottie set up in a swing.

"You can sit, I'll push her." Maks said.

"No, I'm better right here." She said as she stood beside the two. Maks kept pushing Lottie while Peta stayed close. Maks respected her silence as they stayed there. Eventually Lottie wanted to try out the slide and the see saw. Finally they convinced her to explore in the sandbox area for awhile.

"We shopped together every week. It was our Saturday afternoon adventure. Ollie, Lottie, and me. We'd go out to the pond, then to lunch, then to the grocery store. Ollie would always get Lottie a little treat at the end of each shopping adventure. We had to stop when he got sicker so it's been probably 5 months since we shopped together. And then you being there with Lottie and I. It was was just like a full blown case of deja vu." She explained.

"I'm sorry." He said softly.

"Not your fault. You've only been trying to help. I just don't know how I'm going to handle it all. Clearly today is a good indication of that."

"You do know there's not an expected way to react." He said softly as he looked at her out of the corner of his eye.

"I know, I just. I have Lottie and I just need to give a good example of how to handle things." She argued.

"Which I agree, but you fighting and pushing everything aside, won't help you in the long run and it won't help Lottie." He said gently.

"I have to be strong for her."

"You do. I agree. She's little. She doesn't know what's going on. All she knows is she's in a new place with new people and someone who was always there isn't anymore. It's a lot but that also doesn't mean you can't heal or figure things out either."

"I can't fix these things for her."

"You can't."

"Well then what am I supposed to do?"

"Make the adjustment as easy as you can. Don't be afraid to ask for help. It's most likely right next door."

"Maks, I've known you for a total of maybe 4 days. Why is it that you're the one who is helping me?"

"I don't know. I just know it feels right. I'm not trying to take his place Peta. I just want to help. You're here. You're alone. And you're hurting. Just be willing to let in help sometimes. I'm not saying drop your guards and let it all loose. I'm just saying to breath when you need and don't put too much pressure on yourself."

"Thank you." She murmured.

"Anytime. I'm serious. I'm right next door. An ear, a ride, advice, whatever, you know how to find me." He repeated the words he had said last night.

"I appreciate it." She said as they both feel silent again.

"You ready to try this grocery thing again?"

"Yeah, we're going to have to bribe the little sand monster." Peta said with a chuckle.

"I think I can handle that." Maks said as he leaned down. "Lottie, are you ready to go get your lollipop?"

"Ohh! Yes!" She said bouncing up from her mound of sand and scurrying over to Peta and Maks.

"Come on sand monkey." Peta said bending down to dust her off before scooping her up. Lottie laid her head on Peta's shoulder as she cuddled close.

"Ohh, is someone sleepy already?" Peta asked her baby.

"No! Lollipop!" She yelled before catching sight of Maks. "Aks!"

"Ohh, I gotcha miss." Maks said catching the little one. She squirmed a bit before getting settled against his chest, tucked under his chin. Her one arm held Lily while the other played with Maks's shirt sleeve.

"That's how she slept on Ollie." Peta murmured as her eyes filled with tears.

"I can move her." Maks said seeing the affect this was having on Peta.

"No, she's safe there. She may fall asleep on you though."

"That's okay. She's tiny."  

"I don't know how smart or safe it is but she's clearly filling some of the void in her life at missing her dad with you. I don't know how to stop it or fix it but I do appreciate what you've done so far. This could all backfire in my face at some point but for now, I'll enjoy the sight of her so quiet and content on someone other that me. Both of our parents stayed for a month after Ollie passed. She refused to sleep with any of them. And now she's requested you twice."  Peta said softly as she watched the two. She decided she was done with the conversation and headed toward the store. Maks watched her for a second before he followed her to finish their shopping mission.

**Guys, guys, you've gotten two updates in less than 4 days! It's a record for me lately! I hope you loved this one too. Don't forget to like it up and let me know what you thought! : ) Love you all!

[sarahjane0886]

Begin Again 1

"Momma, I pay outside?" Charlotte asked her mother with a tiny grin. She held her arms up for Peta to lift her up into the air. They had just finished breakfast in the new house and Peta had planned on setting Lottie up with some toys while she started to unpack.

"Umm, do you think....."

"No pay outside?" Lottie's lip trembled as she immediately saw her mother's hesitation. Peta groaned as she looked around the house. There were boxes everywhere, stacked to the ceiling in some places. She had made sure that Lottie's bed and blankets were set up before doing hers as well. The rest she had left to this morning which meant breakfast had been dry cereal with apple juice that Peta had picked up last night.

"Don't cry baby, we can go outside for a little bit but then Mommy needs you to play inside so I can find your toys, okay?" Peta said hoping that the appeal of toys would help the thought of not getting full outside time.

"Pay on wings?" She asked hopefully.

"I need to check them but yes." Peta said laughing as Charlotte cheered. Peta had managed to locate a house that had a swing set still in the backyard. When she had spoken with the previous owners, they had said that they had the play set for their children but when they needed to move at least minute, they had ultimately abandoned the play set. Peta was thrilled at that concept considering that it would give Lottie somewhere to play during the day and burn off some of her two year old energy.

"I neeeeed Lily." She said as she squirmed out of her mother's arms to find the stuffed cat. Oliver had given that cat to Charlotte when she had been born. Peta remembered her husband's excitement when he found what he deemed as the softest kitty in the whole world. As soon as she knew to associate the kitten with comfort, Lily rarely left Charlotte's side. And now it was the only thing she had left of her father.

"You ready baby?" Peta asked as Charlotte came back holding the gray kitten tightly.

"Yes, yes!" She said holding her arms up. Peta laughed and scooped the little one up. They headed outside and Peta smiled softly at what was their new backyard. It was one of the only saving grace's she had with this whole experience. The patio was cemented with a table and area for cooking which then bled out into a beautiful backyard with two trees on either side. The swing set sat in the center and it included 2 swings, a monkey bar, and two slides. Peta had barely kept Lottie within the house when she saw her set up.

"Alright sweetheart. Let mommy make sure everything is safe before we start playing, okay?" Peta said as they started out. She was never so thankful for the little girl in her arms. She probably would not have ever made it this far without this driving force to keep going.

"Tay. I esplore?" She asked looking at the flowers and pebbles around the base of the trees.

"You can look, but not in your mouth." Peta reminded as she set Lottie down on the grass. Her current fascination was testing everything to see how it tasted.

"Tay." She toddled away from Peta over to the rock pile. Lily gripped in her grasp as she bent down and began to explore the rocks there while Peta watched on for a few moments. She inspected the swing set making sure it looked to be safe and in working order before calling Charlotte over and helping her get settled in the swing. She fixed Lily in with her just like she liked before she took her place behind her and started to push her. Lottie's giggles filled the air as she sailed back and forth. Swinging had always been one of her favorite things and at their home in LA, they had a swing set similar to this one. Lottie would have spent all day every day in the swing had Peta and Ollie let her.

"Alright, how about you try the slide?" Peta suggested after a good 15 minutes of swinging. Lottie crinkled her nose and looked between Peta and the slides.

"You elp me?" She asked Peta.

"Of course baby and you can swing some more before we go in, okay?"

"Tay." She agreed nodding. She let Peta scoop her out of the swing and then started to toddle over to the slide however her concentration was broken when a puppy next door burst into the neighboring backyard. They were separated by a half wire fence.

"Whoa, stay here baby." Peta said as Lottie immediately headed for the puppy.

"I see puppy Momma!" She said excitedly as she continued her pursuit only to be halted by her mother's arms.

"You have to be careful Lottie. The puppy could bite." Peta admonished gently.

"Puppy! Puppy!" She muttered as her eyes filled with tears making Peta groan.

"Shhh, I know sweetheart, we just have to be careful. I'll let you look at the puppy but you can't scare him, then that wouldn't be nice would it?"

"I nice to puppy." She whimpered still stretching her arm out. Peta attempted to turn them away to see if she could get her to calm down after a few moments however that was pointless as Lottie continued to twist and turn as she tried to get to the puppy who was now watching curiously at the commotion going on in the next yard.

"I'm sorry baby, you have to be careful with the puppy though sometimes they can be not so nice."

"I sees the puppy." She sobbed as she attempted to squirm out of her mother's arms.

"Not right now Lottie." Peta said shifting her body in an attempt to distract her daughter.

Yessss, yessss, peas! Peas Momma!" She continued to sob. Peta sighed this was not the way she wanted to spend their first day at the house.

"I....excuse me?" A male voice came from behind the two making Peta jump and Lottie bury her face into her mother's neck. Her wails turned to silent sobs.

"Yes?" Peta said sharper then intended.

"I'm sorry. I'm your neighbor and I heard she wanted to meet Louis. I didn't mean to scare you. I just thought I could help some." He said holding his hands up in surrender.

"I...I'm sorry. You don't have to apologize. It's our first day here and yeah...thank you. I'm Peta and this is Charlotte but we, err, I usually call her Lottie." She said extending her hand. She figured if this was going to be her neighbor then she needed to be polite.

"Nice to meet you. I'm Maks or well Maksim but everyone calls me Maks. And this here, this is Louis. He's just a puppy, only 3 months. How old are you Miss Charlotte?" Maks said as he scooped up the frisky puppy.

"Can you tell Mr. Maks how old you are baby?"

"Puppy." She muttered peeking out as a Maks caught her bright blue eyes which did not match her mother's at all.

"Well, after you tell him how old you are, maybe you can ask if you can meet the puppy." Peta coaxed.

"Two." She said holding two fingers up against Peta's shirt as she stayed tucked into her mother.

"Whoa, two! That's cool. So I hear you want to meet Louis? Would you like to pet him? He's very soft. You just have to be gentle."

"Momma?"

"Go ahead sweetheart, just be easy, like with the flowers." Peta reminded her. Charlotte nodded and held her hand out while Maks turned Louis so she could pet his back. He wiggled in his owner's arms and managed to sneak a lick in causing Charlotte to giggle.

"He give me kisses momma!" She said as she continued to pet the puppy.

"I see that sweetheart that must mean he likes you." Peta said smiling at her.

"I pay wif him?" Lottie said hopefully.

"Baby, we have to go inside remember, we need to find your toys. I'm sure Mr. Maks will let you see Louis another day." Peta said gently.

"Noooooo. I no want my toys. I wanna pay with Louis." She said as her tears started to fall again. Maks looked on at the two with an apologetic look on his face. For some reason he already felt connected to the beautiful blonde.

"Shhh, I know baby I know. It's been a rough few weeks." Peta said as she snuggled her daughter in tighter as she sobbed full force.

"Puppy, pay...." She wailed not even listening to Peta. Maks watched for a few minutes debating if he could intervene or not. He didn't want to step on toes considering he only met the lady and little one a few minutes ago.

"It's alright. We'll get to play with the puppy sweetheart, just not..."

"Can I?" Maks whispered as he finally decided he was going to intervene. Peta looked at him with questioning eyes but finally nodded her head. Not that she was fond of giving into Lottie, the little one had been through a lot already in her little life.

"Mr. Maks wants to talk to you baby." Peta said however Lottie still continued to sob for a few more minutes before she finally calmed down a little bit. The threesome just standing there in the yard with Louis looking on in confusion.

"Aks?" She said through her hiccups as she looked at the man.

"I usually take Louis for a walk after dinner. Maybe you and Momma would want to come with me? That way you can help Momma find your toys and then you can still play with Louis today. We go by the water and sometimes Louis likes to try to jump in and splash." Maks said trying to entice her. He was being quite presumptuous considering he just signed Peta up for an evening with him. Her eyes got wide realizing what he had done and he immediately felt bad.

"And I figured I could show you some of the things in the neighborhood. There's a few places that you may want to see so you know where they are. I didn't mean to overstep."

"It's okay. I appreciate the gesture and we honestly don't know anyone so yeah..." She said trailing off.

"Birdies?" Lottie interjected.

"There are some ducks there but not usually at night. On the weekends I take him in the afternoon and we see ducks." Maks explained.

"Feed birdies with daddy?" Lottie said looking at her mom. Peta realized what she was thinking of. Towards the end, when Ollie had gotten really sick, there hadn't been too much he could do but he had wanted to do as much with Charlotte as he could so they would do picnics at different parks around their house. Many times their activity would consist of feeding the ducks.

"Yeah baby, that's what you did with daddy. We really need to go work on finding your toys though sweetheart." Peta said suddenly flustered. Maks caught her past tense of the word and knew he may have overstepped. He felt the sudden need to apologize and try to fix things.

"I'm sorry." He said softly.

"No..."

"I'm sorry." He repeated trying to show her he was sincere.

"It's fine...you..." She said trying to figure out how to fix it.

"Walk puppy?" Lottie asked watching the exchange between the two.

"Maybe. We'll see. Tell Mr. Maks thank you." Peta told Charlotte.

"Tank youu." She said as she watched Louis wistfully.

"I usually go around 6, if you want. If not, I understand and I'm sorry again." He said as he scooped Louis up for Lottie to pet once more.

"I...we'll see. I just have a lot of unpacking to do." She said waving off his apology. This also wasn't a lie considering that the majority of her house was covered in boxes.

"I understand. I'll see you around. Bye Lottie." He said shaking her hand making her giggle. The two separated ways and Peta carried Lottie into the house. She set her down once they were inside and let her run into the living room while she sunk back against the kitchen door as tears started to fall down her cheeks. She wasn't sure why she was crying other than the fact that she was missing her husband. She also was confused at the fact that she was immediately felt safe with Maks around. She had only had that happen one time in her life and it was when she met Ollie. She couldn't even fathom what that meant and knew that she couldn't. Not when it hadn't even been 6 months since he had left them. She took a few deep breaths as she focused on the fact that Lottie was close by and she needed to be there for her.

"Momma?" Lottie's tiny voice said.

"Come here love bug." She said holding her arms out. Lottie toddled over and curled up against her mother.

"You kay?" She asked making Peta's heart break that much more.

"Momma's okay baby. Momma just misses daddy."

"Miss Daddy too. We read?" Lottie asked as she twirled Peta's hair.

"We can read for a little bit and then I'll let you watch a show on the iPad while I look for toys okay?"

"Mawree?" She asked. She had fallen into a kick of being in love with any and all Disney movies however her favorite was the Aristocats, she would watch the movie on repeat if Peta would let her.

"You can watch Marie sweetheart." Peta said with a grin. She stood up scooping Charlotte with her as they headed into the living room where Peta tucked them into the corner of the couch so they could read for a bit. The quiet time gave Peta some time to reboot her brain and by the time it was Marie time, she was calmer and ready to work. She got Lottie set up before deciding to just go box by box and pray she could accomplish something. She decided to push the walk with Maks and Louis out of her brain for then and see where she got with her unpacking. And based on the fact of Lottie remembering which was hit or miss with the little one. She wasn't sure which option she preferred either. Reminding herself to not focus on that, she opened the first box with was full of dishes and set to work.

**Okay loves, so here is the first part to this story. It's going to be slow starting as I build things so I apologize. Also once I get going the chapters will be longer I promise. Don't forget to let me know what you thought and to like it up. I still intend to base going forward on everyone's feedback. Thank you all for the support and for waiting out my dry spell. I promise I'm working on the Chmergess update next. Love you all!

[sarahjane0886]

Begin Again 2

2. "Woof, woof."  The sound of the dog barking startled Peta from her current state. After setting Lottie up, She had gotten into unpacking mode and had been able to empty about 10 boxes. Their living room was starting to look less like a warehouse and more like a home.  "Momma! See puppy!" Lottie said as she abandoned her cartoon and ran to the door.  "Baby, we can't go see the puppy." Peta said as she looked down at herself and realized just how gross she was. And on top of that she wasn't sure she could spend time with Maks without that feeling coming back again.  "Momma! Yessssss!" She said as her lip started to tremble immediately. Peta groaned and looked at the window. Not that she gave into Charlotte all the time however in the span of the past 3 months, she had lost her father, her grandparents went away, and now they moved away from everything that was familiar to her. Peta was trying to compensate in some areas especially while they both adjusted to the move. She had additionally played quite well all afternoon while Peta emptied box after box of their lives.  "Baby, can't we go see the puppy another day? We'll get pizza and you and momma can have a cuddle night?"  "No, puppy, woof." She said pouting as she leaned against the screen door not even looking back at Peta.  "What if we just go say hi?" Peta attempted to compromise even though she knew this was going to be pointless. Charlotte was smart but she was still just two. She couldn't expect her to grasp the "just say hi" thing.  "Walk, puppy, ducks." Lottie said with her hands on her hips. Peta groaned internally. She knew that stance, it was her own stance. It was her don't push me on this stance. "Come on." Peta said scooping her up. She partially prayed that Maks and Louis were already past where they could go with them however she could still hear Louis so she knew that wasn't going to be the case.  "Hi you two." Maks said as soon as they came out of the house.  "Aks! Ewis!" Lottie clapped in excitement. Her mood immediately changing. She squirmed to get out of Peta's arms. She put her down since Maks was at the end of the front yard. She instinctively knew that he wouldn't let her go any further. Not that Lottie would go further since her end game was right there.  "Hi Miss Charlotte." Maks said bending down to greet her. Louis helped as well by greeting Lottie with kisses and puppy licks.  "Ewwwww!" She shrieked in giggles as she scurried back to Peta. "Save me momma!"  "I gotcha sweetheart. I'll save you." Peta scooped her up and held her close as Lottie giggled and buried into her mother's neck peeking out at Maks in the meantime. After a few moments she squirmed to be back down on the ground which Peta granted.  "No licks." Charlotte said holding her hand out to Louis, who immediately tried to lick her. She huffed and pulled her hand back.  "He just thinks you taste good." Maks teased.  "Feed ducks?" Lottie asked immediately changing the subject.  "Are you and momma coming on our walk?" Maks asked looking at Peta.  "Well, I'm pretty sure I'm going to have a temper tantrum on my hands if I tell her no." Peta said softly not completely looking at Maks.  "You may need shoes first...." Maks teased trying to settle her some. He could tell she wasn't too keen on the walk idea. Peta looked at him perplexed but then realized that neither of them were wearing shoes. She groaned for what felt like the 100th time in the past five minutes. "Lottie baby, can you come with Momma to get shoes, then we'll walk?"  "Tay with Ewwis?" She asked sweetly.  "Baby, I can't leave you out here." Peta said.  "I can....if you're...." Maks stumbled through his words as watched his new neighbor. Peta looked between the two of them almost realizing that although she had only known this man for less than 8 hours, she needed to trust him if even just a little bit to assist her. She didn't know anyone else here and support would come in handy eventually.  "Lottie, you stay right here with Mr. Maks. And you listen."  "Tay momma. Lily too?" Lottie asked moving a little closer to Maks.  "I'll get Lily...and a....crap, dinner." Peta said groaning.  "Do you guys do P-I-Z-Z-A?"  "We do, I'm allergic to nuts though so I have to be careful with that."  "Well if it's alright, if you guys did come with me, I was planning on offering to show you around the town a bit. I usually stay away from the main strip but we can walk down to the river and then come back that way so you can see what's around. And there's a parlor on our way that does amazing pies and they are allergy sensitive." Maks rambled slightly.  "We can't take over your whole night."  "You're not, trust me. It's just me and Louis. And we actually didn't, or well I didn't, eat dinner yet either. So it's nothing to stop. They actually have a little patio where we can sit."  "What about Louis?"  "The town is quite pet friendly. He'll be fine to sit with us on the patio."  "Are you sure?" Peta asked skeptically.  "Positive. Go, shoes and Lily? I'll keep an eye on her."  Maks said nodding to Lottie who was giggling as she kept trying to sneak in pets to Louis while attempting to avoid his tongue.  "Thank you. I'll be quick." Peta said before shooting into the house. She grabbed shoes for both of them and managed to locate the backpack they had used on the plane. She threw in a jacket, Lottie's blanket, some snacks and a water bottle. She wiped her arms, legs, and face off before changing out of the dirty, dusty shirt she had been unpacking in. She grabbed the iPad on the way out and shoved that in the bag as well.  "Momma!" Lottie said excitedly as she saw her mother. Peta grinned at the two year old. She was so happy and full of excitement.  "Hi baby, did you listen to Mr. Maks?"  "Yes she did. She even helped me hold Louis's leash." Maks said with a wink. Peta sat down and put Lottie's shoes on before standing up and taking her hand.  "Ready." She said softly, her eyes catching Maks's.  "We don't have to go." He said seeing the hesitation in her. He didn't know her story or what was going on but he felt compelled to protect her and the little pipsqueak between them. Even if that meant giving up time with them.  "No, we do. She'll lose it if we don't. I don't spoil her but.....well........." Peta trailed off. She didn't want Maks to thing that she cowered to the two year olds every request. "I get it. You're in the midst of a move, I would do the same thing. And some things aren't worth fighting."  "Right." Peta said as they started off. The walk was initially quiet with the exception of Lottie's ramblings between the two about all the things she was seeing.  "So where did you guys move from? Wait, I just want to put it out there that anything I ask or say, you can tell me to stop. I just figure if we're neighbors we might as well be there for each other but I also understand if you don't want that. Or well not there for each other. That sounds presumptuous but friends. Acquaintances. Whatever. Do you get what I'm saying?" He was met with the sound of Peta's giggles which were like music to his ears.  "I get it. And I agree. Trust me though, you'll know if I don't want to answer something. I'm quite stubborn, fair warning." Peta said with a small grin.  "Me too. We'll be good friends then. At least we'll both understand the other's view. But so where did you move from?"  "California." Peta said quietly.  "Whoa. That's far, how did you end up here?"  "Well, I needed the distance. Somewhere new for the both of us. And the company that I work for, has a branch out here so they agreed to transfer me and it was a done deal. They actually helped me find the house and helped with relocation costs."  "What do you do?"  "I'm in accounts receivable for a shipping company that does shipping for different countries."  "Fancy. Although that doesn't seem like you. I feel like you'd be more of an active person."  "Well, I....nevermind." She trailed off and Maks got the hint that she was over her side of sharing. He wanted to respect that.  "Lottie, we're almost to the park. You ready to see if we can find ducks?" Maks asked.  "I thought there weren't...." Peta trailed off.  "There usually isn't but sometimes they are far out in the lake. I figure at best we can see them. She may not be able to feed them today though."  "Oh, that makes sense. Wait, we don't..."  "They have feeder stations with bird food. I figured if there were some there, we could just use that. Most people who live here take bread or crackers but they do have the feeder option there."  "Oh. Okay. You got this all figured out." Peta stated sheepishly.  "We walk every night. As long as I've been here and well as long as I've had him. So, not to be presumptuous but you both are always welcome. Saturdays and Sundays I do tend to go earlier in the day which is when the ducks are close." Maks explained watching her out of the corner of his eye. "Thank you. I don't know how it will work when I start working but I'm sure Lottie would love doing this sometimes."  "Anytime." Maks said smiling as they entered the park.  "Ducks?" Lottie asked looking up at Maks.  "We have to go by the water. They might be far away though okay?"  "No feed?"  "We'll see. We may just have to tell them hi."  "Pet baby ducks?" She asked and Peta knew what she was thinking of.  "Uhh....." Maks trailed off looking at Peta for assistance.  "There was a duck family near the pond where we lived. My husband would take her all the time to feed them. At one point there was 6 ducklings and they were so used to us that they would come right over to her and she could pet them. I think she's asking if there will be babies here. Right Lottie, you want to know if you'll see baby ducks?"  "Yes. See babies." She said stopping and holding her hands up for Peta who scooped her up and settled her on her hip.  "I don't know if there are babies here are not miss. We'll have to look. I know there's big ducks and then geese sometimes." Maks explained as they made it to the water.  "Ducks!" Lottie yelled quickly startling both Peta and Maks. They both looked and near the edge of the water, there were about 6 ducks standing there. There weren't any babies however, Maks was just shocked that there were actual ducks there.  "That is the ducks sugar." Peta said smiling at Lottie's excitement.  "Aks! Ducks!" Lottie said reaching for him, throwing both him and Peta off for a second. Maks easily accepted Lottie and Peta took over Louis's leash.  "Let's go get you some duck food. If that's okay with Momma?" Maks said looking at Peta to see if that was okay.  "Yeah, here, you said you need quarters?" Peta said reaching for the backpack.  "My treat. It's my fault you're here and I have a good feeling you're going to be here way more frequently. The feeder is right there, we'll be right back." Maks said pointing to the bubble gum machine looking contraption and scurrying off before Peta could protest.  "Louis, do you like ducks?" Peta muttered to the dog as he tried to get closer to the water. Maks and Lottie returned quickly, Maks with a cup full of bird food and Lottie with the biggest grin ever.  "Momma! Feed Ducks!" She said clapping. Maks chuckled and nodded for Peta to follow the two.  "You are going to feed the ducks baby. Be easy remember?" Peta reminded as she and Louis followed behind.  "Kayyyy. Aks help me!" She said looking at Maks and Peta could already see the bond that was already forming on Lottie's end. Ever since Ollie passed, she hadn't had much male presence in her life. However, prior to his passing, she had spent countless hours with her father. Then after Ollie passed both Peta's parents and Ollie's parents had stuck around to help for a month. Lottie had gotten lots of grandfather time too. Peta knew even at her young age, she was already needing to fill that missing father void especially because she didn't know why exactly she no longer had that.  "I'll help you little miss." He said with a grin checking back to Peta to make sure it was okay. He could sense that this could potentially be a problem area with Lottie gluing to him however he still felt this normalcy with the situation. Peta nodded her head letting him know it was okay. They spent the next 45 minutes  feeding the ducks and letting Lottie and Louis run around and burn off some steam. Maks showed Peta where the playground was for the future if she ever brought Lottie alone.  "Momma." Lottie whined as she appeared next to Peta's feet. She and Louis had been running around and playing while Maks and Peta watched on.  "What's wrong baby? Are you hungry?" Peta said knowingly. She leaned down and scooped her munchkin up. She saw that it was 7:16 which was quite past their normal dinner time. "Do we want to head to pizza?" Maks said calling Louis over to him.  "Yeah, she's probably starving. We snacked on some stuff however it's way past when we usually eat dinner. "It's actually really close and they are really quick." Maks said as he snapped Louis's leash on and they headed out. Peta managed to distract Lottie as they walked by showing her all the shops and people walking on the streets. There was also a lot of art and decor to look at. Little Maks listened with admiration at what a good mother she was. Once they arrived at the pizza place, he went up and ordered after discussing with Peta. She kept Lottie and Louis with her. Maks came back with a number and drinks.  "Here baby, here's your milk." Peta said handing Lottie the milk that Maks had brought back. Lottie took it gratefully and settled back into her mother as she waited for her dinner. They had argued again over who was paying for dinner. Maks won the argument saying that it was basically like his casserole dish to his new neighbor. Peta eventually relented but mainly because Lottie was getting hangry and she didn't want to be dealing with her temper tantrum in the midst of the restaurant.  "They said less than 10 minutes." He said pouring Louis some water in a dish he had pulled out of his pocket. Peta looked at him strangely. "It's a portable bowl. Basically folds up and smushes."  "Oh. I've never....but you were right, they are fast."  "Yeah, and delicious. It's been my favorite since I've been here."  "How long have you been here?"  "2 years."  "And what brought you here?" Peta said as the pizza arrived. She got Lottie's pizza cut up into bite sized pieces with some salt cheese before she helped her get situated and started on her own slice. "Well, my family owns dance studios and we opened one down here. We went through 3 managers before deciding we just needed a family member to stay there for awhile and manage things until we got their feet off the ground. My brother was at the start of his career and so I was the one nominated. It was only supposed to be here for 6 months until we got some good management in and got things flowing however it's been 2 years and I'm still here."  "Why?" Peta asked perplexed.  "I don't know, I just kind of fell in love with the area and culture. I go to visit my parents usually twice a year and then my brother as well."  "Interesting. What kind of studio do you have?"  "Our initial theme was ballroom for adults however recently we've started adding children's classes as well as minimal ballet and tap. Ballroom is the main focus though."  "Ohh, I honestly wouldn't have pegged you for a dancer. I'm assuming if you help manage a dance studio that you dance."  "I do, I've been in quite the number of competitions and yeah.... How about you? Have you ever danced?" Peta instantly froze and her face went white. Her brain started to fly on what needed to come out of her mouth. Lottie however distracted the whole situation by letting out a disgruntled whine.  "What's wrong baby?" Peta said looking at her daughter. She realized she had finished off her pizza so before she turned her around she wiped her face and hands quickly, earning her a second whine. Peta turned her into her so that she could talk to her. "Aks, want aks." She whimpered as she rubbed her eyes. She twisted against Peta trying to turn to look at Maks. Peta caught the eye rub and knew what the majority of the issue was. "Someone is sleepy I see. Baby, Mr. Maks is eating his pizza like you were, why don't you snuggle with Momma?" Peta tried to suggest.  "No, aks, Lottie want aks."  "I can take her Peta, I don't mind." Maks said softly.  "I...." Peta hesitated again. She couldn't throw her child at the random neighbor even though they had spent a lot of time together that day. Her child who was currently a hot mess as well. "Akssss." She fussed again.  "Come here Lottie." Maks said seeing Peta's struggle at just passing her child off to him. Once she was in Maks's arms, she buried into his chest and settled some.  "Lily." She mumbled into his chest as she got situated. "She's going to fall asleep on you." Peta said softly as she found the stuffed kitten in the bag as well as Lottie's blanket. She passed the objects over to Maks. He gave Lottie the kitten and then wrapped the blanket around her shoulders. His hand mindlessly rubbed her back. "Honestly, I don't mind. As long as you're okay with it. I grew up around a lot of children and I helped as much as I could. I actually miss this feeling to be honest. And when I teach at the studio I usually do the minis. She's good, I promise, like I said, as long as you're okay with it."  "I think she misses her dad." Peta said looking out into the street.  "Can I.......?" Maks asked unsure if he could step that far into the boundaries.  "He passed away about 3 months ago. 97 days to be exact." She whispered as her eyes filled with tears.  "I'm sorry." Maks said softly as he rested his hand on hers. She however jumped and moved her hand away as quickly as she could.  "I....I'm sorry." She muttered once she realized what she had done.  "No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have touched you. It's obviously still really fresh." Maks said gently as Lottie  took that final deep breath and snuggled into Maks. She was officially out.  "It is. I just, yeah."  "Do you want to go?" Maks gestured towards the table since they had clearly stopped eating in the midst of everything.  "Yeah, I should get her into bed. I know this whole experience has been a lot on her. I need to work into getting back into her routine." "She seems to have a great mother though. I know from experience routine is important but the mother thing and solid base, that's pretty high on the list." Maks said gently as he stood up easily to not wake up Lottie.  "I'm trying. We've had some support up until recently but they all had to return to their lives and homes, understandably."  "I think you're doing a great job. And I know you're here and new and all of  this is overwhelming. But I hope you know that I'm just right next door if you need anything. I won't overstep or be demanding but you can just know I'm here."  "You don't even know me." Peta said softly as they started their walk. She had taken Louis's leash and the bag since he had her daughter.  "I don't, and you could be the exact opposite of any person that I would usually associate with but I can't explain it. I feel the need to....not so much as protect or help you but just to be there. And not in anyway more than friends. And I know that's probably more than you can handle right now but so I just want you to know I'm here. I'm sure there's going to be times when you don't know where things are or just need an ear. Just don't hesitate to reach out. And not because you aren't competent but just because I know it's overwhelming. And it's just you and Lottie here and sometimes you need more than 2 year old rambling."  "Maks....." She trailed off as they arrived at their houses.  "I'm sorry. That was a lot and it's your first day here. You haven't known me for more than 12 hours and yeah. I just, just know I'm here. And I'm not a creeper or a murder or any of the above."  "Don't those people always say they aren't those people?" Peta said with a partial smirk.  "Ummm, I guess so." He said with a grin.  "Exactly. But thank you. I do appreciate it. I can't promise that I'll follow through namely because I'm slightly stubborn and just kind of a hot mess lately but I'll try to remember it." She said with a gentle grin as she watched him.  "That's all I ask. And I have a good feeling, this one will remind you of where the doggy and aks lives." Maks said as Lottie shifted into him.  "You're good with her. Thank you for that. I can take her now. I have a feeling you are correct though, she's attached to you both quickly." Peta said as the two switched Lottie into Peta's arms. Maks followed her up the stairs to help her with the door.  "She's easy to handle. She's a sweetheart. I meant it when I said you're doing a great job with her. I haven't been around her that much but kids her age can't fake a personality much." Maks said.  "Thank you, that means a lot. Honestly. And thank you for earlier or well all of today. For both of us. It's nice to know we do have someone nice on our side."  "You definitely do. Like I said, anytime, I'm right there." "Thank you. Goodnight Maks."  "Goodnight Peta."  **That's a wrap on this update. Probably moved a little quicker than normal life but have you ever met someone and just knew that they were safe and you could trust them and they were put there for a reason in your life. That's kind of what I want to go for with this, in a Nicholas Sparks style. I hope you all enjoyed this! Don't forget to like it up and let me know what you thought in the comments.  Also, I know I keep promising I'm going to get my stuff together and write more and it keeps not happening but I promise it will. I'm getting there. Family life and obligations are slowing down and I'll have more time to do some writing. Thank you for holding this out for me.

[sarahjane0886]

Begin Again - Teaser

"So what brings a nice lady like you and this precious angel to Chattanooga so late at night?" "New beginnings. We're moving here and the moving van is on it's way. Our flight was delayed." "Well, sounds like you've gotten off to a bit of a rough start." "You could say that." "Well, this is a nice city. And the people are nice. Very welcoming and helpful. Once you get settled, I'm sure things will get better. And worst case, you have that little one there to keep your spirits up." "Oh, for sure. She's my saving grace." "I wouldn't doubt that for a second. We're here. I'll get your suitcase though. You have your hands full with that one." "Thank you." Peta said softly as she shifted her daughter in her arms and got out of the car. "You have a good night ma'am. I hope things get smoother for you." The Uber driver said as he pulled the suitcase out of the trunk. He pulled the handle up and smiled gently. His eyes twinkled with his smile reminding Peta slightly of what one would envision Santa would look like. "Thank you. You have a good night as well." Peta smiled in return before heading into the hotel. She checked in and dismissed the desk clerk's offer for help to her room. If anything these past 3 months had taught her that she needed to learn how to do things on her own. She headed to their room for the next 3 nights and got ready to put Charlotte into the bed. "Momma..." A tiny voice murmured as Peta tucked Charlotte into the covers. She reached for her baby's blanket and made sure it was within reach. "Shhh Lottie, you're safe. Momma's right here. I'll lay down with you soon." Peta said gently as she ran her fingers through the little girls dark black locks. "Lily?" She whined gently searching for her tiny stuffed cat from her father. "She's right here baby. Shh, go back to sleep, sweet heart." Peta said handing the little girl the stuffed animal. Once she had the blanket and kitten in her grasp, her eyes closed and she drifted back off. Peta stayed close for a little while longer before heading to shower quickly. She knew that once Charlotte woke the next morning, it would be a busy day so she needed to take this time now while she had it. She stood under the heat of the spray as her evening ritual took over and sobs racked her body. "Oh Ollie, why....why? Oh how I miss you." She said as she sank to the floor of the shower letting the tears stream down her cheeks. Like always she let the tears fall in the safety of the shower, away from the world, and away from Charlotte. Once she calmed down, she finished her shower and grabbed an old t-shirt and shorts before brushing her teeth. That was when she heard her daughter's whimpers again. "Momma, Momma, Momma." The little one sobbed. Peta appeared quickly and scooped her baby up into her arms. Charlotte's arms went around her mother's neck as her tears hit Peta's collar bone. "Ohhh baby, I'm right here. Shhh, I have you, you're safe. I know we're in a new place and it's scary but I promise, Momma's here. I'll keep you safe." Peta said as she swayed them back and forth. Eventually Charlotte's sobs died off and Peta thought she was asleep. She started to move back over to the bed when she was interrupted. "Tell daddy Night?" Her tiny voice said ruining those thoughts. "Baby, you told him goodnight already." Peta explained. "Again? Peas?" "Alrighty, hang on." Peta said as she pressed her lips to her daughter's hair. She walked over to the window and pulled back the curtains. She shifted Charlotte so she could see out the window. "Go ahead baby." "Night daddy. Love you." She said before blowing a kiss toward the stars making Peta's eyes fill with tears. "Daddy loves you too princess. Always and forever." Peta said as she felt Charlotte start to drift. She moved them over to the bed and laid down allowing Charlotte to stay tucked into her body. She said her own good nights before drifting off to sleep with a silent prayer that some how, things would start to get easier. **Okay loves, this is up to you. I can keep going or ditch it. I have some ideas with this but I'll only continue if you all want me too. It's going to be alternate universe for our faves with some givens tied in. Like it up, let me know what you think, and we'll see how it goes! Love you all!