#choi jnhong

[coffee-for-himchan]

Open The Door, Baby (Zelo) // “With You” series, pt.6

Sixth part of the winter-themed 6 scenario series called “With You”. Featuring a broken promise, and arguments caused by stress and worn out emotions. As well as freezing outside when he wasn’t allowed to come in.

Summary: He had promised to come. You had turned everyone else down, you had made time for him, made plans.. And he carelessly cancelled. He told you off and left you alone, not giving it a second thought. And after he’d realized his mistake, it was seemingly too late - less than 24 hours left until the 24th, and half the planet, trust issues and two broken hearts in between you two. And a door.

(A/N) Last (and imo the most or second most emotional) part of this series! Thank you to everyone who read the series, and I want to say I had a great time writing these!

Part 1 (Himchan) // Part 2 (Yongguk) // Part 3 (Jongup) // Part 4 (Daehyun) // Part 5 (Youngjae) // Part 6 (Junhong)

He stumbled along the familiar streets, suitcase in hand and a mind full of worries. There was no guarantee of you being home, yet he hoped you were.

You'd stated a thousand times you didn't have anyone to spend this day with. Anyone besides him, that is, and he had messed it all up. 

He recalled the recent phone conversations that came about at the worst possible times. He had been irritated out of his mind previously to one of those, and only afterwards figured he might've sounded too harsh while talking to you.

"Are you coming home for Christmas?"

He knew you meant him coming to you, because a past time favorite of his had been calling you his home. And the cheer in your voice could be sensed from miles away - from half the world away, in fact. Because that's exactly how much distance parted you.

"Yes, I believe we'll get some free days here. I'll go to see family then," he said in a harsher tone, taking it literally despite knowing you meant something else.

And with that, you didn't mention it that evening anymore. You didn't mention anything at all, in fact. Another two minutes of non-triggering conversation, and you hung the phone up, telling him you had things to do. Things that, in reality, didn't exist - you simply didn't want to pick a fight with him, which his irritation was ultimately leading to.

And the next time he questioned about it, he figured he had messed up big time.

"How's it back home?" he chuckled as he heard your "hi" on the other end of the line seconds ago, and awaited the regular. "Thanks, I'm fine", "Good, now that you called" or anything else that was extremely cheesy. Yet he only heard a quiet, "I don't know, I'm not at your home. But you can always go and check yourself," in return.

This had ultimately lead to a series of arguments. A series of fights he wanted to forget now as his feet and lungs screamed at him to give him some rest, yet he refused to let them get it as he ran further down the street, snowflakes awkwardly tangling in his hair and his widely open long coat not doing it's job of warming him properly.

He still had miles to run. And about twenty minutes left.

"But you promised you'd come."

Had he? Hell, life had been so hectic he couldn't remember promising it. He could barely spare you any thoughts at all. And in his exhausted state, he thought it was alright. He thought it was alright to forget about you for weeks.

"Had I?"

"Yes, you have. You've been babbling about it non-stop since two months ago.”

Ah, yes. Now he recalled the conversation that had started it all. That facetime when he'd sat on the kitchen floor for a whole three hours, simply talking to you because you priority when it came to choosing over talking to you and sleeping. And he’d promised a bunch of stuff he didn't intend to do anymore.

"I don't remember," he said casually, unaware of your already brimming tears that threatened to spill at every given moment.

".. Junhong-ah."

He was listening non-carefully, and when only beeps could be heard on the other end of the line, he figured he might've heard your final words to him wrong.

"You don't care anymore, Junhong-ah, do you?"

Did he?

He remembered telling the guys how he would go see family on the holidays, and remembered getting curious and puzzled stares.

"Will (Y/N) fly here as well?"

"Not really.. We're spending Christmas apart," he answered, earning even more confused stares.

"Why are you all looking at me so weird-"

"I thought you promised her to go and visit. Like ten times at least, or so I heard. And by the looks of it, she was really looking forwards to it.."

His mother told him the same.

"But weren't you going to see (Y/N)?" she asked, and made his blood boil a little. What did she know? She hadn't even seen you in real life at all, yet had always been supportive of your relationship with Junhong because of how fondly he always talked about you, and how nice you came off as in video chats and phone conversations.

"Am I not allowed to stay home for once? I am tired of flying here and there all the time, spending so much time away from here," he pouted, and it was understandable. Yet everyone around him told him he should've taken a different approach to the situation.

Especially Daehyun, after he had overheard one of your last phone conversations in the practice room.

"Okay, you win," Junhong said in an annoyed tone, sitting in the practice room floor and having you on video chat, the phone on full volume as he hadn't noticed his hyung peeking from out of the door and thought he was all by himself.

"I win what?"

"I guess I'm coming to see you," he said and waved it off immediately,  his annoyance and how blankly and emotionless he said it making your smile turn sloppy, and eventually disappear as a whole.

"It's not like you have to-"

"Oh no, don't even intend to start with this. I really wanted to stay here, but everyone keeps bugging me to go because I've promised and not fulfilling my promises apparently makes me look like an asshole," he talked calmly about this, and even for Daehyun with his non-20/20 vision it wasn't hard to see tears brimming at your eyes from the distance he was at.

"And I am so tired of these accusations, god. I figured I'd just go so they'll stay silent and I’ll get my much needed home alone time later-"

"Get fucking lost."

He looked taken aback, and furrowed his eyebrows at the phone screen.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Get. Fucking. Lost. Don't even dare flying here, because I won't let you in and you'll be able to experience the wonderful feeling of freezing out in the streets alone-"

"Could you not swear at me-"

"Could you not interrupt!?" he saw the tears now, and was a little taken aback by how he had been blind to them previously. But in all honesty, he hadn't even been looking at the screen this whole time. He'd been tying his shoelaces and staring off into the distance instead.

"You don't have to do me a favor by coming by. You don't have to come and ruin the already ruined holidays with your presence. It's not like I cancelled on my family vacation because I thought you would come by, and we could spend some time together. It’s not like I put you first because I missed you more than anyone, and turned so many important people down to hopefully see you smile at me when you arrive, because you’d missed me just as much-"

"Jeez, stop this. I've already agreed to do as you desired, so stop screeching at me and accept it. I’ll try to smile in return too, if you want it-"

"Don you dare show up at my door. You don't care about me anymore," and with that, you cut the conversation short, disconnecting and leaving him to sit seemingly alone.

"Oh, hey Daehyun hyung," Junhong greeted calmly as Daehyun came into the room, walking past to get his phone that he'd left on the table which was what he originally came to do.

"Shut it," he answered just as calmly, making Junhong sigh in irritation.

"What did I do to you now, hmm? Why is everyone being so mean and irritated, and directing it all towards me-"

"You really are an asshole, you know?" Daehyun stopped in front of him, giving him a harsh glance, "I don't know what had come over you recently. You really used to be the sweetest, but now your non-grown up brain had seemingly decided that it would be cool to play mean and ignore and offend all who matter the most-"

"If you're talking about (Y/N), cut it. She's been causing enough issues around here lately."

Daehyun stared in disbelief, and his hands that he'd clenched into fists made it seem as if he was ready to give a reassuring, hard hit to Junhong's face.

"You're the real issue here," he leaned in, and spat it into his face, "You're the one tearing her beautiful hear apart. She's giving you all she has, and you're being nothing but a cause of tears. You don’t deserve her."

And with that, not paying attention to any of Junhong's accusations and remarks he spat in return, he left, closing the door after himself with a loud thud.

That evening Daehyun considered a lot, and figured it was alright to call you, since you were close friends.

"Hey, sweetheart," he cooed in his most melodic voice as he saw your almost dried up tears on his phone screen. "Almost" being the keyword.

"(Y/N), don't cry over it-"

"But, like, what am I supposed to do instead?" you kept sniffing, and he got comfortable on his bed, preparing for a rather long conversation.

"I don't know why he's being this way," Daehyun said calmly and reassuringly, seeing as he had all of your attention wrapped around his finger, "But, just for your info, you're not the only one he's been talking to this way. All of us seem to be of some type of blame in his eyes, and we have no clue what triggered it and how to revert him back to normal."

"But, like.." he saw you trying to collect your words in between quiet sobs, and waited patiently, "I-i.. I'm t-trying hard to s-show him I care, b-but.. I don't know. He k-keeps pushing me away recently, and.."

".. To be honest, I'm j-just waiting for him to break things o-off with me already. B-because I love him too much do so it m-myself, but I'm t-tired of his on and off mood and tired of b-being the one to blame for his s-swinging mood and misfortunes."

And despite his heart clenching, Daehyun understood it all too good. There was no need to stay in a toxic relationship, as it didn't bring what a relationship was supposed to bring - happiness and a feeling of support. It only brought pain and self-loathing.

It was still a week till Christmas, and during all of B.A.P's promotions - the shows, the interviews and everything - only then they could be seen as the cheerful and happy six-piece that they originally were. After the cameras and lights were off though, they quickly turned to be “five plus one add-on” that didn’t really fit, partially because he didn’t want to, and partially because the other five gave him silent treatment.

"I won't go to schedules if you keep treating me this way," Junhong threatened, genuinely aware his absence will decrease their stage performance and presence, and might even put a hole in the interviews.

"Then don't," he stared in disbelief at Youngjae's answer, and was at loss of words, "You're not irreplaceable. We can do without you for a while."

He knew his hyungs loved him. They had practically raised and shaped him, but now, for some reason, they were all turning away from him, acting cold and ignoring him. And he suddenly noticed how hard it was to manage like that.

"What have I done to get treated this way?" he asked Bang in a rather frustrated tone once, and only regretted his manner of talking and his wording when he saw Bang's stern face.

"You get what you ask for," he simply answered, and passed by.

Did he really get what he had bargained for?

Junhong came home that day, kicking off his shoes and falling back in his bed. Mochii was the only one to greet him properly, and he smiled at the little dog cuddling up to him and demanding to be pet.

"At least you don't hate me," he chuckled and laid there, considering of what to do.

After all that had happened, he felt so.. So alone. And he really felt like he needed company now beyond anytime else, yet there he was. Abandoned by all but his dog, as he'd seemingly hurt everyone.

And at that moment, he wanted to call you.

He wanted to hear your cheerful voice on the other end of the line, telling him all would eventually be fine. Telling him that whatever he was going through, you were there for him. And would always be.

Yet when he recalled your recent arguments, he stopped before he'd fully taken his phone out of his pocket. You wouldn't talk to him either now, so he discarded of the idea, and simply lied there in hopes of falling asleep, yet his mind was against him as well. Running circles and only letting him sleep when it was 5 AM already, still dressed in the clothes he'd gone out in and not even covered by a blanket.

Days kept passing like a countdown, and with every day it seemed to be harder and harder to manage. He'd cut back on the careless and meaningless replies, and his teammates had softened up to him a little actually. All aside Daehyun.

"Who's the person you want to be most like, out of you?" was a question in an interview once, and after pointing to one another and laughing it out, Daehyun opened his mouth once more.

"I know that out of five, I would least want to be Junhong."

"Why so?" the interviewer chuckled, and Junhong's life flashed in front of his eyes. Whatever Daehyun had to say, it wasn't going to be good.

"He has this habit of acting truly mean and harmful at times. We don't know what triggers it, but he suddenly becomes very egoistic and hurts people by it," he chuckled, and Junhong was taken aback when the rest chuckled too. Not defending him and simply agreeing.

"No, I'm not-"

"Should I remind you? Or should I do it off-broadcast, maybe?" Daehyun suddenly snapped at him, and to save the happy aura and conversation, Youngjae threw in a lame joke, making everyone direct their attention to him rather than to Daehyun and laugh it off.

Yet Daehyun's stare lingered locked together with Junhong's for a little longer, his face screaming, "Pay for what you'd done now. They should know how you're not all sugar, spice and everything nice."

"Whatever Daehyun was talking about, Junhongie must've fucked up big time," he read the few tweets that evening, all said by people who had watched that interview.

"I sense dramarama #DaeRoastingZelo"

"Looks like sweet maknae did something wrong. Let's hope it's nothing and he'll be forgiven."

Yet another load of tweets had him really on the edge, feeling triggered.

"Dae should step off and cut him some slack. He ain't doing anything bad."

"Everyone makes mistakes. Leave him to sort his himself, jeez."

It was a 50/50 situation, with a lot of people being on Junhong's side. But since everyone in real life who was aware of the whole story had taken the side that was against him, he started questioning his choices. Feeling bad for having people’s support even though they didn’t know how many wrong things he’d truly done.

And realized he'd really been acting mean all along.

"Daehyun hyung," he called that evening, surprised that Daehyun had picked up at all.

"What do you want-"

"Can we meet?" Junhong simply questioned, and found himself nervously biting his nails as he waited for a reply.

"Look, I just got done with the musical, and I'm very tired. And sleep sounds like a fun activity to do now-"

"Please," he pleaded, pausing a little before continuing, "I really need advice on how to fix my mistakes. And you're the one who could help me the most."

"I have to admit, if it wouldn't be for her sake, I would've stayed home," Daehyun announced as he sat across Junhong at the 24 hour cafe they had agreed to meet in, taking off his cap and neatly placing it next to himself in the table. Junhong gulped a little, seeing as Daehyun already knew where this conversation would lead off to without having been given any detail previously.

"So you figured what's the matter already?"

"I'm glad you're finally paying attention to it and snapping back to reality. But if you throw out another disrespectful and stupid view of yours, I'm leaving without additional comments and remarks. You really outdid yourself here, Junhong-ah. Even I feel bad, and I rarely do in the past time," Daehyun looked him dead in the eyes, and suddenly got all wary as he saw the look displayed on his face.

"Junhong-ah, are you.."

“.. No,” he turned, trying to hold it in first, yet failing and letting a sleeve run over his eyes to wipe the tears off.

“Okay, you finally broke down. I guess it’s time to be nice again,” Daehyun sighed, and waited for Junhong to collect himself enough to talk.

“Hyung, I don’t know what’s going on,” he simply looked at Daehyun as he nodded, as if telling him to continue.

“For how long have I been like this?”

“For a while already. I could count back, but that would make you even more devastated, so let’s spare it now,” the sentence didn’t help Junhong at all, yet he knew he wanted to continue. He had to.

“Like.. Ahh..” he was trying to find the right words, yet couldn’t.

“Take your time to formulate it. I’ll wait.”

And he indeed needed a while, until he stopped thinking and it all simply poured out of him like a waterfall.

He talked on about how he’d been feeling recently. How he had struggles seeing the point in continuing to go on the way he did, and how that made him act rather harshly. He told Daehyun about his lack of motivation, his issues with himself and the fact he would find himself rather unhappy about uncertain things all the time. 

He told how he really saw no reason for you to like him as much as you did, and how, somehow, that had turned him to act the way he did. He felt non-deserving of your love, because he wasn’t able to return just as much because of work, stress and recent emotional instability. And that made him reject all of your affection and attention, cutting it short by harshness. That made him turn you down so you wouldn’t shower him in affection anymore, because he felt like crying every time you did so. He had nothing to return, not because he didn’t love you. Because he wasn’t emotionally able to at that point.

“Oh god, it sounds so stupid now when I say it like that, but.. It’s how it was,” he wrapped up his little monologue, seeing no emotion in Daehyun’s eyes whatsoever. And he stayed silent, simply waiting. Waiting for agreement or getting called stupid and non-deserving, because that’s how he truly felt.

“So you love her?”

“I mean, is that even a question.. Yes.. A lot.”

“Then how the hell could’ve you done this-”

“I don’t know, okay!? All I know is that tomorrow is the 24th, all plane tickets are sold out and she won’t answer me. Hell, I wouldn’t be surprised if she blocked me.." he said, and hung hid head down low, tears brimming at his eyes again.

"Bad luck, right?”

“Hey, my whole life is hanging on a thin line here, and you can only say this much!?”

"It’s your own fault,” Daehyun shrugged, and Junhong had no other choice than to agree, “But hey, I guess we can try to fix it somehow.”

And there he was. Three blocks away from your apartment complex, feeling like passing out from all the running and the cold, yet continuing to head into your direction nonetheless. Having flown with the last available flight, having with the collective help of all the guys gotten his hands on the last available ticket. Having repressed screams of agony as the flight got delayed, an hour first, then two, upon finally taking off four and a half hours late. Having emotionally tired himself out of his mind, as he had finally realized somehow.

What if you actually wouldn’t open the door? You had all the reasons.

“Where is he,” your voice sounded stern, and Daehyun was taken aback by it, gulping down the piece of cookie he had just bitten into and clearing his throat, almost dropping his phone meanwhile in the process.

“Who are you talking about-”

“Junhong. Where is Junhong?”

“How should I know?” he said with a nervous chuckle, trying to take a sip of his drink but almost spilling it, and putting it back down, “I’ve been kinda giving him the silent treatment until he reverts back to normal-”

“Cut it, I won’t forgive you if you lie to me now, and I know you’re lying,” he sighed at the tone you used, and ran a hand through his hair, “He’s been all of a sudden blowing my phone up since yesterday. I have 52 missed calls from him, not talking about texts or anything else. What is he doing and where is he-”

“On his way to you,” Daehyun finally let it out and sighed in unison with you.

“I won’t let him in. He can take a flight back or something. Find a hotel. I won’t let him come in here, he’d ruined all already and I don’t need more pain-”

“To be honest, I totally understand. And I’m not telling you to give him a chance or anything. But he’d spilled a thing or two to me recently, and that changed the situation a little. Maybe, if not tonight, then another night - you could listen to all he has to say. Just maybe.”

And when you hung up the phone, you finally heard it. Knocking on your door.

“(Y/N)!!”

Hearing his voice in real life, after all of the fights and time spent apart, made you want to cry your eyes out. You tried to ignore his desperate calls and knocks, being genuinely grateful that you only lived in a two-story building, and, as far as you knew, all families and people from your staircase had gone off to celebrate somewhere else, and there was no one to hear or see him.

“(Y/N), please tell me you’re there!!”

You looked at the clock, and sighed. 23.58. Even when he had finally showed up, he was too late. Which, once again, made it seem like he didn’t care.

“(Y/N), please!! Let me in!”

You cautiously came to the door, and pulled yourself together to say only one simple sentence.

“Get fucking lost.”

His cries and screams continued, and you figured he was aware that you were standing at the other side of the door and listening to them all. To the sharp inhales, and the whimpers and broken cries he let out every now and then. To the knocks that had the door shaking, and to his desperate tries to get you to talk to him.

“(Y/N), I know you’re there. Please answer.”

“You don’t even have to let me in, just talk to me, please. Oh, please, I have so many things to say to you..”

And as you figured you had nothing to tell him in return, tears started falling at a rapid pace, and your back hit the door, your frame sliding to the floor as your body got submerged into quiet, uncontrollable sobs.

“(Y/N), I swear. I was supposed to be here hours ago, but my flight got delayed.”

“I know I am an idiot and an asshole for all I did. I know I should’ve gotten over myself sooner. I know I am the worst for only figuring I had to come yesterday night. I’m.. Oh god, I’m such a fucking failure. And I’m so sorry for all..”

You heard his cries getting weaker, and at some point you felt a thud as his whole frame hit the door, and you figured he had slid down to cry on the ground with his back against the door the same way you had a while ago on the other side of the door.

“I’ll stay here,” he muttered quietly, taking another sharp inhale, “I’ll stay here, (Y/N). With you, because that’s where I want to be. No hard feelings if you see me out here tomorrow morning, okay? I always sleep long and soundly after crying for hours. Just push my frame aside and ignore it, okay? I know I deserve it.”

And as your tears were still falling to the ground, you figured he was crying in the same way and position on the other side of the door, with it being the only thing that parted you from him. But you had promised to not let him in. He broke your heart and didn’t deserve it.

You’d actually fallen asleep there, and only woke up when in was around 5 AM. Dizzy at first, you tried to recall why you were in such a position at the door, and as you remembered, cold chills ran down your spine.

God, you hoped he had gone away. It was the end of December, after all, and spending a night in the staircase, accompanied by the fact some neighborhood kids had smashed in one of the staircase windows just a few days ago and it still wasn’t fixed, was what made you worry about him. It was so, so cold there, you were certain. He would definitely get sick after this, and you feared for how bad it would be.

“I’ll stay here, (Y/N). With you, because that’s where I want to be.”

Despite all, you couldn’t leave him out there. He was yours, and if he had come here and had done all of that, he had his reasons. Those reasons being feeling the need to tell you that he was aware of being an asshole, and was sorry for all he’d done. He was sorry for ruining your Christmas, and sorry for making it a permanent memory that would haunt you for years during festive season.

You stood up, carefully unlocking the door. As you tried to push it open, you felt something preventing you from doing so. Yup, he was still there.

Carefully, you managed to push it just open enough for you to sneak out. In the unlit staircase, with only the moon shining through the smashed in window, his frame was close to unnoticeable.

You shivered immediately. It was freezing out there, and his barely-visible-in-the-moonlight lips indicated it all - they had turned a blue-purple color, and his whole body seemed to be three shades paler than you recalled.

Switching on the light, you looked over his broken, curled up frame. He was shivering even in his sleep, and the sigh made you cry. What had you done?

“Junhong-ah,” you said quietly, trying to shake him awake. His brows furrowed, and in a worn out, half-conscious state he opened his heavy eyelids a little, trying to focus on the concerned eyes that were staring into his. He realized only after a significant amount of time, and broke into a barely-there, pained smile.

“(Y-Y/N)..”

“Come here, Junhong-ah,” you figured there was no time to make small talk. He was barely able to function.

You arms wrapped around his frame carefully, and you cooed at him to stand up. It took you two a solid minute to get into standing position, with him almost falling back as a violent sneeze came his way. His whole weight wasn’t something you thought you could handle, yet you had to, as he was barely dragging himself and basically leaned all of him onto you. You’d never seen him this week, but as his body pressed against yous, trying to find support in your much smaller frame, you realized how truly much he was shaking. From all the cold and the violent emotions.

“You’re so w-warm, (Y/N)..”

You left him and his fogged mind no time to come up with any other sentences, and tugged him inside. He felt violent shivers going all through his body as he entered the relatively warm space, and held onto you for dear life.

“I-i’ve ruined it.. (Y/N).. I’m so s-sorry-”

“I know, Junhong-ah. Now, please, don’t apologize. Come along,” you asked him as nicely as possible, seating him down on the bed as you went to pick up his suitcase from outside and locked the door, walking back to where he was.

He had curled up on your bed, and you worked around him as if he was a little child. Fishing tons of warm sweaters out of his suitcase, and pulling two of those on him. Getting him out of all of the cold outerwear gently and helping him dress in everything warm and dry. His stream of apologies never stopped, and all you could do was respond to him, telling him it was alright. You had heard him. You knew he was sorry.

You had forgiven him.

You held his frame close as you cuddled his body up with three blankets and yourself, letting him press his face against your chest as your arms were around him, feeling his violent shivers turning into smaller ones, until they disappeared completely, and he fell back asleep, squirming and turning every now and then but being gently held in place by you.

“Junhong-ah..”

He was awoken by a familiar voice the next morning, or rather day, as it was a little past twelve already when you shook him awake. You couldn’t wait any longer. You had to make sure he was alright.

“Mhmm..” he shifted and turned, feeling a wave of coldness going through his bones that made him flinch.

“How do you feel, Junhong-ah?” he heard your voice from above, and thought he was still outside of your door, dreaming. So he kept his eyes shut to make this dream last longer.

“A little c-chilly,” he answered, sneezing twice right after and sniffing once, “I think I-i’m sick..”

“It’s my fault.”

He realized he was too comfortable to be outside, and that, despite his body’s light shivers, he wasn’t covered in icy clothing anymore. His eyes slowly opened, and he was met with your crying face, your hands travelling up to cup his face as you felt all the guilt of the world on your shoulders and inside your chest.

“I should’ve let you in,” he felt a hot tear of yours landing on his cheek, “Yet I didn’t. And if I wouldn’t had been so full of myself, none of this would’ve happened-”

“You’re not to blame. You did as told, and I was the one breaking my promises,” he answered, seeing as you chuckled.

“I checked the clock. It was 23.58 when you came here, so technically you still made it in time for Christmas evening,” he chuckled along, feeling tears brimming at his eyes as well.

“Yeah, I made us spend Christmas each cuddled up at our own side of the same door, crying and feeling horrible. What a nice boyfriend I am.”

And he really felt like he didn’t deserve it when you lied on top of him, nuzzling your face in the crook of his neck. He really felt like he wasn’t worthy of holding you the way he did, but it all felt so damn right.

And it was a clear start of sorting your issues. Issues he’d made unintentionally, and regretted like absolutely nothing else in his lifetime.

He kept wandering around with a huge, fuzzy blanket for the whole day, his rather cute sneezes filling up the air, until you got a hold of him every now and then and guided him to bed, as if he was a lost puppy. A fever was the next thing to come, and you watched over him carefully, taking good care of the damage you were still certain you had caused, but he said it was his own fault.

It was a long night. Tons of sneezing, even more of blowing his nose. A lot of temperature and cold sweat, as well as nightmares from it and medication to keep him in a somewhat okay state. Yet he didn’t seem to mind, and simply lovingly watched as you ran back and forth, watching over him as if he was a little kid.

It was the next day you figured you should bring him to a doctor. So drugging him up and taking him along to your doctor, you sat carefully, listening to all the given instructions on how to take care of him. After all the check-ups, it seemed to be nothing but a rather serious cold. Still, he was told to be cautious. Having stayed out in the cold for so long after running miles, being a horrible mixture of horribly hot and sweaty under the coat and cold on the outside, had sure taken it’s toll, and there was still possibility it could evolve into something bigger and worse.

Yet by New Year’s Eve, he was somewhat alright already.

“You really didn’t let him in?”

“What was I supposed to do, Dae? You told me yourself to do as I felt like-”

“Okay, agreed. But, like, is he even alive after that?”

“Of course, idiot. As alive as ever. Doing three things non-stop - hugging, sneezing and apologizing.”

“Yep, sounds like him. Thanks for putting the right screws back into his head.”

During his whole stay he indeed continued on apologizing, yet he spilled it all only that evening in similar fashion like he spilled it to Daehyun, just less teary-eyed and more confident in receiving forgiveness.

His puppy eyes and sorry voice were enough to convince you he really was at his lowest point, and you moved from spot, walking up to him and wrapping him up in an embrace.

“You really are such a pain, Junhong-ah. You had me feeling bad for weeks.”

“Gonna add that to the list of reasons to hate myself, just wait a sec-”

“Please don’t,” you looked up to him, biting your lip and figuring it was a bad idea, yet you wanted to do it nonetheless.

“Goddamnit, I hope you’re not contagious.”

And with that, you rose to your tippy toes and kissed him, receiving a rather surprised and squirming reaction at first.

“Hey, what if I a-hmm-” he figured he wasn’t allowed to speak, because you could care less. And for a moment he allowed it to happen, as your kiss was the warmest thing that you’d tried to warm him up with yet. It was so familiar, something he figured he could hold onto. So welcoming, and always there for him and only him. A sensation he knew better than anything else, and could recall and recognize wherever and whenever. Yet after that moment of pleasure and total lack of straight thinking had passed, he pulled away unwillingly, chuckling at your protests but not letting you at his mouth once again.

“Do you really want to get sick?”

“Now that I think of it, no. Not at all.”

“Then we shouldn’t risk it. But yeah. I’ve missed you tons as well.”

And that night, as you figured you wouldn’t go out just yet, because Junhong was still half-sick and you really wanted him to get better soon, you had a nice little dinner at home, and slow-danced while laughing at each other into the new year.

Sleep had completely taken over him by 3 AM, and you traced his cheek, listening to his quiet snoring and staring down at his face of an angel.

“I’ll stay here, (Y/N). With you, because that’s where I want to be.”

“You really should,” you whispered rather to yourself, recalling this statement of his that had struck you and had stayed in your memory for longer, “You really should, Junhong-ah.”

“And I shall stay too. With you, my baby.”