#choi seungcheol fanfic | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

yoongiseesawmp3 · 1 year

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get you (f) - seungcheol

summary: neighbor!seungcheol. you’ve just moved into your first solo apartment, and seungcheol just so happens to live across the hall. he’s only being neighborly when he offers to help you bring some furniture in. it’s not his fault you think he might be the most handsome and kind man on earth. what could go wrong?

word count: 8.9k (part one/?)

warnings: afab reader (some gendered terms), cussing?

masterlist

you’re all for being an independent woman. you are! you pride yourself on it, actually. you were the kid that taught yourself how to tie your shoes. if you had problems with homework you figured it out. you got yourself through undergrad and grad school on your own, and you’ve never relied on a partner to take care of you.

you also assured friends and family you’d be able to move the last pieces of furniture into your new apartment alone. up until now, this whole independent thing has worked for you, but in this moment? you need help.

it’s your huffing and puffing trying to get your couch through your apartment door that makes seungcheol open his in curiosity. he knew someone would be moving in soon, so he had kept an eye out for the new neighbor, purely out of nosiness. when he realized it was you though? suddenly his interest was piqued. he watches on as you struggle and push your couch to no avail, and when you get so frustrated that you kick it’s leg and hurt yourself, seungcheol can’t help but laugh. this alerts you to his presence and you jump slightly before whirling around to see exactly what you need: a big beefy man. who has a really cute smile, you note, but you shake that off to focus on the task at hand.

“uh, hi,” you say sheepishly. “was i being too loud? i’m sorry.”

“no, you’re good,” seungcheol smiles. “it wasn’t too loud, it just sounded like someone in distress so i came out to check. do you need a hand?”

“god, please,” you sigh as you step aside and seungcheol walks up, eyeing the situation. “i’m y/n by the way.”

“seungcheol,” he says, offering you his hand. you bite back a smile as you shake his hand, noticing how warm and soft it is. and big, too. “do you have any pets?”

“um, a dog, why?” you reply, confused.

“will it try to bolt if i pull the couch back out?” he asks, looking over to you. “i think we need to pull this out and angle it different, it’s getting caught on something in your apartment.”

“damn,” you whisper. “it’s probably my dresser, it also was too big and heavy for me to move by myself, so i got it as far into my living room as possible.”

“i’ll pull the couch out and go in first then,” he offers. “i can move it out of the way and help from there.”

“sounds good,” you respond, moving to grab onto the couch and help him pull. he politely waves you off though, and with one good tug he has the couch all the way out into the hallway. seungcheol shuffles around it quickly, and you just watch on in surprise, shocked that he could do that so easily. getting the couch that far through the door took you about ten minutes, and he just undid it in two seconds. once he’s inside your apartment you hear a grunt, and you shout out “don’t scratch the floor please!” as he starts moving the dresser. his head pops back into your doorway a few seconds later, no sign of exertion on his face. either you were just really weak, or this guy is a demigod. that’s the only way to explain his crazy strength.

“so i think we should turn it like this,” seungcheol demonstrates with his hands. “and then we should be able to carry it in no problem.”

“ok, cool,” you say, reaching down to grab your end of the couch. seungcheol counts you off, and you lift the couch so much easier with his help. he backs you into the room slowly as you guide him to where you want the couch. you both lower it down carefully, and then step back to admire your hard work before turning to your helper. “perfect! thank you so much, seungcheol, really. you didn’t have to do this.”

“i don’t mind,” he shrugs, looking at you carefully. you almost wonder if there’s a bunch of sweat on your face to make him stare like that, but he breaks the staredown and looks around. “you sure you have a dog? i don’t hear or see one.”

“he’s probably afraid of all this noise, he’s kind of a baby.”

“what’s his name?” seungcheol asks.

“fred,” you tell him, and he looks at you questioningly. “after my favorite harry potter character.”

“cute,” he smiles, then he calls out, “fred? fred! c’mere buddy!” you hear the familiar sound of your best friend clomping down the hall, and seungcheol’s face breaks out into the biggest smile you’ve ever seen. fred gets excited at the sight of another man in the house, and promptly tackles seungcheol back into the couch you so carefully placed. you watch on with your own smile as seungcheol plays with fred, and he looks up to you and says, “i love this guy. can i have him?”

“only on the days he gets on my nerves,” you joke. “otherwise he’s mine.”

“aw, you get on mommy’s nerves?” seungcheol coos, playing with fred’s ears. “i don’t believe that, you’re a little angel.”

“there’s nothing little about him,” you laugh, crossing the room to find fred’s new bone. he perks up as you toss it to the other side of the couch for him, and he finally jumps off of seungcheol. “now’s your chance to escape, quick, before he notices!”

“what if i didn’t want to leave,” he pouts, and something about the way he looks at you again has your heart beating faster. the sound of fred’s chomping makes you both chuckle though, and seungcheol ruffles his head before standing. “i guess i should though. anything else you need moved before i go? where’s that dresser gonna end up?”

“oh, um, my room,” you start to say, “but i can get it, you don’t-”

“show me the way,” he says simply, picking the dresser up on his own.

“you’re not human,” you tell him, and he laughs. “seriously, do you deadlift cars? how are you this strong.”

“i’m not that strong baby,” he says, “because if i stand here any longer my arms will start shaking. show me where to put this please.”

“this way,” you say, turning quickly so he doesn’t see the blush creeping up your cheeks. you lead him to your room, and show him where to put the dresser. granted, he doesn’t really need that direction considering every other part of your room is covered with bookshelves.

“well aren’t we hooked on phonics,” he teases, admiring all your shelves of neatly stacked books as he backs out of your room, turning to look at you. “you unpacked your books first, but your mattress just has a sleeping bag on it?”

“i had more book boxes than anything else,” you shrug. “if i unpacked those first that’s a bulk of the work. it made sense to me.”

“no, it’s smart,” he nods. “you must be really smart too, since you read so much.”

“eh, mostly i just read for the pictures.”

that gets a genuine laugh out of seungcheol, and you watch with stars in your eyes as his gummy smile shows itself again. he walks over to fred, petting him one last time, before facing you again.

“well, if you need anything else, you know where to find me,” he says with finality. “it was nice meeting you y/n.”

“you too seungcheol.”

“actually, you can call me cheol,” he says. “i like that better.”

“oh, ok,” you reply. “thanks cheol. i owe you cookies or something.”

“with extra chocolate chips?” he tries, and you smile.

“well now, to get that you’d have to help me move my kitchen table later,” you joke, and he nods.

“alright, just come get me when you’re ready,” he says seriously, and you shake your head.

“you’re very nice, seungcheol, i hope you know that,” you tell him, and his heart warms at your words.

“thank you,” he smiles softly. “see you around?”

“yeah, you’ve gotta come back for your cookies,” you say, and he nods before walking to your door and letting himself out. he waves goodbye and closes the door softly behind him, leaving you with a racing heart, and you’re not sure why.

a couple days later, you’re puttering around cleaning your kitchen while you wait for your friend vernon to arrive. he was bringing dinner before you went out to a movie with some of your other friends from college, and you were excited to show him your first adult apartment. you’ve been through a lot of big life things with each other, so this is just another happy one to add to the list. right on time, there’s a knock at your door and you slide across the hardwood floor to open it. except, when you open the door, it’s not vernon staring back at you. it’s seungcheol.

“hi,” you say breathlessly, the slide move you did across your apartment feeling silly now. “what’s up?”

“going out?” he asks, not subtly checking you out. “you look nice.”

“oh, um, kinda?” you reply. “i’m going to a movie with some friends from college, then they’re coming here for drinks after.”

“sounds like fun,” he smiles, nodding. “well, i just came over to give you this,” he explains, holding up a package that looks like it’s addressed to you. “it was at my door instead of yours, and i brought it in on accident. sorry about that.”

“oh, thanks,” you tell him as you take the box. “i actually haven’t been home all day, so i’m glad you grabbed it. my last place was full of mail stealers so i’m a little paranoid about leaving my stuff for too long.”

“man, some people really suck,” seungcheol says, and you nod in agreement. “i’m happy to hold onto anything that gets delivered when you’re not here though, i’ve been working from home a lot lately so i don’t mind.”

“are you sure? i don’t want to be a bother-”

“y/n, please, let me be a good neighbor,” cheol laughs, and you give in without a fight.

“alright,” you sigh. “i’ll do the same for you. but..”

“what now?” he groans playfully, and you push his arm lightly, making him smile more.

“i uh, i think i might need your number? you know, to tell you when there’s something here that you need to pick up,” you say, and you don’t miss the way his face lights up. he takes his phone out and hands it to you, a new contact card already open. you save yourself as your name and your apartment number, and cheol nods in approval when you hand his phone back.

“ok, well, as always, nice to see you y/n,” he starts, and the sound of footsteps coming down the hall pulls both your attention. you smile as your eyes fall on vernon, and your nose picks up the smell of your favorite mexican place coming from the food in his arms. what surprises you is what happens next. “vernon? what are you doing here?”

“visiting y/n,” he says with a nod in your direction. “what are you doing here man? you live here?”

“yeah, across the hall,” cheol replies, and vernon smiles politely.

“finally got tired of your big life across the country?” he teases, and cheol blushes.

“yeah, more like it got tired of me,” he responds. “i wasn’t really cut out for that kind of stuff.”

“understandable,” vernon nods, finally looking over to you. “did you just meet him y/n?”

“yeah, he was the neighbor i told you about,” you say, and seungcheol is eager to know what you could’ve been talking about to make him come up. “the one with superhuman strength.” ah, he thinks. you were just talking about him helping you. what he doesn’t know, and what you hope vernon doesn’t mention, is how you also mentioned he might be the most handsome man you’ve ever laid eyes on.

“thanks for doing that, man,” vernon says. “kept me from having to come over here and risk pulling my back out.”

“yeah because you’re so delicate,” you joke, and vernon nods seriously.

“well, good to see you man,” cheol starts, “but i’ll let you get ready for that movie-”

“you should come with us,” vernon offers, and you whip your head to look at him. he looks at you challengingly, but you keep your mouth shut, not daring to look at seungcheol. “you might know some of the friends we’re meeting up with, i bet they’d want to see you and catch up.”

“you sure?” cheol asks, looking between you both. vernon tries to send you a message with his eyes, and you take a breath before replying.

“yeah, you should join us,” you agree. “by the looks of it vernon got us enough food to feed a family, so i’m sure we’ll need help with these tacos. and the movie should be fun too.”

“what are you seeing?” cheol asks.

“puss in boots,” you and vernon reply together, and cheol starts to laugh but then he realizes you weren’t joking.

“you’re serious?”

“as a heart attack,” you reply, and he smiles. “still wanna come?”

“yeah, let me just put my good sweatpants on,” he jokes, and you step aside to let vernon in finally.

“alright, we’ll get the food ready,” you tell him. “i’ll leave the door unlocked, just come on over.” you wave off both their complaints that you live alone, you shouldn’t be so comfortable leaving the door unlocked, blah blah blah, but you break it up with a smile and close the door quickly as vernon starts piling food on your coffee table. then, you hiss at him, “what was that?!”

“i just invited your crush to hang out with us,” he says in his signature nonchalant way. “you’re welcome.”

“yeah, but now i’m gonna be on edge the whole time, i wanted to relax tonight,” you whine as you join him on the couch, ears catching the slow pitter patter of fred waking up from a nap somewhere down the hall. vernon reaches out to pet him as he speaks.

“i don’t know, you looked pretty comfortable around him when i walked up,” he smiles slyly, giving you a side eye as he focuses on messing with your dog.

“i hate you.”

“no you don’t,” he says, tossing you a bag of tortilla chips. “now eat your food.”

when seungcheol came back over, you had an easy time chatting and eating, just joking around like you’d all been friends forever. you found out the lore behind the two men meeting each other, and why it’s been a while since they’ve seen each other. vernon had a music production class with cheol when he was still undecided at school and he took whatever classes he wanted. you knew that’s how he met mingyu and wonwoo, but you never knew of seungcheol until now. you also learned that the reason he was left out of vernon’s backstory is that cheol transferred about a year later, wanting to go to a school with a better music program. he told you shyly that he tried making it on his own as a rapper, but that was apparently the life that didn’t agree with him. he moved back here about six months ago, wanting to be back around friends and family. now he’s getting his master’s in business and doing music lessons and other odd jobs on the side to pay for everything.

you feel yourself falling deeper and deeper as you learn more about him, each story or interaction more endearing than the last. too soon for your liking, you realize it’s almost time for the movie, and you rush to clean up but seungcheol offers to do it for you. he and vernon take care of the food while you take fred out one last time, and when you come back it looks like you walked in on a tense conversation. vernon is hiding a smile though, and seungcheol’s cheeks are bright red, so you decide to ask about it later. you check that they’re both ready to go, and they nod. as you’re locking up, vernon hangs back while cheol goes toward the elevator.

“yeah, he likes you,” vernon whispers, almost making you jump.

“what?” you whisper shout back, but he’s already walking down the hall and asking cheol about how he likes living here. you’re left with a lot of questions as you join them, but you’ll have to get your answers later. vernon offers to drive, which you jokingly tell cheol isn’t that much of a kind offer, but you both take it anyway. cheol lets you take shotgun, and he sits behind vernon so he can steal glances at you without either you or vernon noticing. vernon sees it though as he checks the rearview mirror, and he just smiles to himself at the budding romance between two of his best friends. this will be a fun night.

at the movie theatre you meet up with some of your other friends, mingyu and wonwoo smiling widely when they see seungcheol walking closely behind you and vernon. you find your friend tahi, who the boys left in line to have a little reunion with cheol. they’re happily taking while tahi eyes you cautiously, and you have to ask why she’s looking at you like that.

“who’s the eye candy?” she teases, and you roll your eyes.

“my neighbor,” you reply. “vernon knows him, so he invited him. his name is seungcheol. he’s...”

“cute?” tahi offers, and you scoff. “you think he’s cute.”

“how’s wonwoo?” you counter, and she blushes.

“touché.”

the boys come back to the line for tickets then, wonwoo taking his place incredibly close to tahi and seungcheol standing incredibly close to you. you and tahi share a look, as if telling each other “see?” but you don’t say anything. the line moves quickly, and the ticket attendant doesn’t bat an eye at all these adults asking for tickets to puss in boots. when it gets to you, cheol swoops in and asks for two tickets, quieting your protests with a simple shake of his head.

“stop doing that,” you pout slightly as you walk with cheol and vernon into the building.

“doing what?” cheol asks, looking at you strangely. “i’m not doing anything.”

“you’re being too nice,” you almost whine. “you’ve helped me with furniture, saved my mail, bought my movie ticket, i feel like i’m not doing anything for you in return.”

“then i guess you just gotta catch up baby,” he smirks, walking ahead of you to join mingyu in ordering the biggest bucket of popcorn you’ve ever seen. you’re all going to share, as per usual, but you get two buckets: one with just butter and one that you add a disgusting amount of candy to. tonight the candy of choice is those cookie dough monstrosities, and seungcheol makes a face as he watches mingyu dump two boxes into a perfectly good pile of popcorn. “why the hell are you doing that dude?”

“salty and sweet,” vernon replies. “best of both worlds.”

“that’s nasty,” seungcheol gags, watching as you and mingyu both take healthy tastes of your concoction.

“i almost think it needs more candy,” you say as you stare down into the popcorn, and wonwoo holds up an extra box.

“i got it,” he says. “if we don’t need it then me and tahi can split it.” you send her another glance, and she just smiles at you in response.

“come on, let’s go before the good seats are taken,” vernon says, and you all agree, grabbing all of your goodies and heading to the theatre.

unsurprisingly, there’s a lot of kids. but there’s also a lot of adults too, and you’re thankfully able to find a full row sans toddlers at the back of the room. you like sitting off to the side, as silly as it may be, because you feel like the sound isn’t as head shatteringly loud if you’re sitting next to a wall. that means there’s only one open seat beside you, and vernon quickly takes it, considering he’s been your movie buddy for five plus years now. you watch as cheol makes it up the steps and looks at you, then vernon. is that disappointment in his eyes? whatever it is, it passes quickly, and then he moves down the row to sit in between vernon and mingyu, which means he gets to be in the middle of popcorn passing. he makes a face each time you and vernon ask for the candy bucket, and you eventually get tired of it.

“seungcheol, would you just try it and get over yourself?” you whisper-hiss, and he looks at you kinda shocked before he dips his hand in and takes a bite. you watch on proudly as he tries to fight a smile that proves he was wrong to judge, and instead he just shrugs and says, “it’s not that bad i guess.”

“you’re annoying,” you chuckle, reaching over vernon to grab the bucket.

“do you two need to be left alone?” vernon jokes quietly in your ear, and you’re thankful for the low lighting so he can’t see your blush.

“you’re annoying too, he’s not special.”

“hm,” vernon hums.

“what?”

“nothing,” vernon shrugs, the opening credits starting to play.

“vernon you better not be planning anything-”

“sh, y/n please, the movie’s starting,” he says smugly, and you just whine into his shoulder before sitting back up to focus on the screen. you don’t notice seungcheol watching on, stewing in silence as he wonders just how close you and vernon really are.

see, when you took fred out back at your apartment, cheol and vernon had a very interesting conversation. vernon was basically playing protective best friend while seungcheol tried to feel out your relationship with vernon. vernon was trying to make it clear if cheol messed around with you he’d be toast, but cheol took that as vernon being a jealous boyfriend. he wasn’t sure you were together though, because if you had been dating vernon, he should’ve been there to help you move in. otherwise he’s a shitty boyfriend. since then, cheol has been carefully toeing the line trying to figure out where he stands, but he feels pretty confident you might like him back, especially when he catches you staring after he laughs a little too loud at one of the silly jokes. and again just because. he only noticed because cheol spends the entire time with half his attention on screen and half on you. you coo adorably every time perrito does or says anything, and it sends his heart into overdrive watching you smile like that. he catches himself thinking how he’d like to be the reason for that smile, and to shake him from his thoughts he tries focusing back on the movie.

at the end, you all agree to still come back to your place for drinks and so the guys can be nice little gentlemen and help you with a couple things. you and tahi agree to supervise, and you separate to your different cars and head back. in the car cheol considers telling you he might turn in once you make it to your building, but you twist around in your seat and say, “cheol, i have beer and i think some tequila at my house to drink, plus like, coffee and tea, but is there anything you want specifically? we can stop and get it before we get home.”

“no, beer’s fine,” he smiles, happy that you want him to stay. the three of you walk together back to your apartment, and vernon offers to take fred out before the others arrive, leaving you and cheol alone in your kitchen. you’re taking out the drinks, cheol trying (and failing) to ignore the way your ass fills out your pants as you bend down. “hey, y/n?” he asks, and your attention turns to him. “can i ask what’s going on between you and vernon?”

“what do you mean?” you ask in return. “he’s my best friend.”

“yeah, but like, just your best friend?” cheol asks. “you’re not...together, or anything, are you?”

“ew, god no,” you reply. “i mean, i love the guy, but we’d kill each other. we’re just friends.”

“ok,” cheol nods, and you watch him carefully.

“why were you so curious?” you ask, and he avoids your eyes. “you couldn’t be...jealous, could you?”

thankfully for seungcheol, the doorbell rings signifying your friends’ arrival, and you shout to them that it’s open. once again giving cheol a reason to lecture you on the importance of locking your door. his complaints are ignored due to mingyu and tahi admiring your new digs, wonwoo nodding approvingly in the background. you pass drinks around, and you fall into comfortable conversation, showing them around. vernon comes back with fred, and mingyu is immediately on the ground with him. you swear mingyu just comes over to see him, and you watch on and laugh as fred loses his tiny little mind over seeing the man sized version of himself. everyone finds a seat in the living room then, tahi and wonwoo occupying most of your tiny sofa with just enough room for vernon to squeeze in on the end. you take the armchair, honestly your favorite spot in the house because it’s so comfy, and that leaves seungcheol awkwardly standing at the entryway to your kitchen.

“stop being weird,” you tell him, patting the spot next to you. “come sit, there’s enough room.” cheol silently takes your offer, sliding in next to you with ease. you listen on as the boys catch up some more, learning more about cheol through the stories they tell. pretty soon you need another drink, and you softly ask cheol if he wants anything else. he nods, and you get up to grab two more beers, offering his out to him as you come back into the room. you take your seat again, and cheol absentmindedly drapes his arm across the back of the chair, his hand landing on your shoulder in the process. vernon is watching like a hawk, silently begging you to make eye contact with him but you know you’d be a blushing mess so you just watch as fred disses mingyu for tahi, smiling as he pouts on the floor. without a distraction, mingyu spins around to face you, smirking when he sees you so comfy with cheol.

“so y/n,” he starts, and your heart drops to your stomach, thinking he’s going to comment on cheol’s arm around you. once the teasing starts it won’t stop, and you don’t want your friends to embarrass cheol (and risk him moving). “you told me i had to be your handyman tonight?”

“hey, i thought that was my job,” cheol complains, his cherry red lips making the perfect pout that you want so badly to kiss. “you didn’t like my work so you asked somebody else?”

“no, you’re the muscle,” you assure him. “gyu owes me from a dare he never paid up on, so he has to go fix the showerhead in my bathroom. he’s the only person i know who’s tall enough to reach it anyway.”

“he’s not that much taller than me,” cheol grumbles.

“oh, so you want to do it?” you ask him, and he quickly shakes his head. you laugh and look back to mingyu, a knowing smirk on his face. “c’mon, i’ve got the new one in the hallway.”

while you’re gone with gyu, tahi and wonwoo get to work too. tahi remembered you saying you had a lot of dishes to unpack, so wonwoo unboxes everything while tahi washes them. vernon joins to dry everything and put it away, being the most familiar where you like everything to go considering wherever you live is basically his second home. that leaves seungcheol alone in the living room, feeling kind of left out. he goes to find you, really ready to tell you he’s heading to bed this time, but he hears a bit of conversation between you and mingyu that has him stopped in the hallway.

“he’s a really good guy,” mingyu says. “and you look cute together.”

“stop,” you tell him, and he giggles. “careful, you’re gonna fall.”

“i’m just saying, if you’re ready to date again, seungcheol’s not a bad guy to start with,” mingyu keeps going. “way better than the lame guys you usually go out with.”

“gee, thanks.”

“you agree with me though, otherwise you’d be defending them,” mingyu says. then a beat of silence, and, “there. it should be good, wanna try it?”

that’s when seungcheol decides to pop into the doorway, scaring the shit out of you as you turn the shower on, completely spraying mingyu with water. you and cheol look at each other in shock as gyu shrieks in the background, and you rush to turn the water off before falling into a fit of giggles with seungcheol.

“this is NOT funny,” mingyu seethes. “i’m going home.”

“mingyu, no, stay,” you cry between laughs, watching as he stomps into the hallway calling for wonwoo. you and seungcheol share another set of laughs before going back out, and you thank your friends for their help while they all get ready to leave. it’s late anyway, and you can tell tahi was about to crash any minute. vernon says goodbye to fred before he says goodbye to you, and mingyu leaves without saying anything at all, making you fight back giggles again. before you know it, it’s just you and seungcheol alone in your apartment.

“uh, guess i should go too,” he starts to say, but at the same time you talk over him, saying, “i think i’ve got one more beer, wanna share it?”

“oh,” you say in unison, and you smile shyly before trying again.

“i mean, it’s late, so i understand if you wanna go-”

“i can stay,” he says quickly, then adds, “a little longer. i can stay a little longer.”

“ok,” you smile again. “meet you on the balcony?”

you grab the last beer from your fridge while seungcheol opens the door leading to your secluded balcony, nothing but boxes piled on your outdoor furniture, so he just leans against the railing and admires the view. you join him soon after, fred following in your footsteps to lay at your feet between you and seungcheol. he reaches down to give fred a pet as you take the first swig, and when cheol stands back up you hand him the drink.

“can i ask you something?” you start, and he nods, encouraging you to go on. “since you were so concerned about me and vernon earlier. i uh, just wanna know, i guess, um. are you single?” you fumble out, and seungcheol watches you fondly.

“yep,” he says with a pop on the p. “very single.”

“cool,” you nod.

“cool?” cheol laughs, and you blush, not meeting his gaze. “can i ask something else?”

“shoot.”

“i heard mingyu saying something about you only dating losers?” cheol asks, and you bark out a laugh at the unexpected question, almost choking grossly on the sip you just took.

“fuck, sorry, i didn’t know you heard that,” you laugh nervously, and when cheol just stares at you waiting for a reply, you explain. “i mean, they weren’t losers. they were nice, i just haven’t had the best luck with guys lately. i think it hit a new low when i realized a playlist one guy made me had been deleted, and that made me sadder than it probably should have.”

“he made you a playlist?” cheol asks, and you nod.

“yeah, and me being hopeful, i was like aw, it has some of my favorite songs, must be fate,” you pretend to sigh romantically, remembering the butterflies it gave you at the time. “he named it y/n too, so i guess i expected him to..keep it? i don’t know, but it made me sad when i noticed it was gone.” you look up and find seungcheol staring back at you thoughtfully, and suddenly you’re embarrassed. “god, i probably overshared, didn’t i? sorry.”

“no, it’s ok,” he says softly, his hand incredibly close to yours on the railing. “what kinda music are you into anyway?” and that sends you both into a frenzy, discussing favorite artists and new releases, the beer quickly finished and your hands slowly getting closer and closer on the railing until cheol finds himself playing with your fingers as you talk about a new daniel caesar song. you stop mid sentence, noticing how cheol’s attention has shifted.

“seungcheol,” you quietly call his name, and his eyes find yours lazily, not wanting to leave the sight of your hand in his. you give his hand a squeeze, and that seems to pull him out of his daze. “it’s late, we should probably-”

“can i kiss you?” he asks suddenly, and you find yourself nodding before you can even process the question. his hand leaves yours, instead making its way up your arm to hold you delicately by the neck, angling your chin up slightly so he can slot his lips over yours. you feel sparks flying across your chest, your heart beating a mile a minute at the feeling of his plush lips pecking over yours. you sigh into the kiss, childishly wanting to kick your foot up like in the movies. your hands hold onto his shoulders tightly, and you whine when seungcheol pulls away, smiling at you with his whole face. “g’night doll,” then one more kiss that you still chase, and then he makes his way back to your front door, making sure to flip the bottom lock before he leaves.

you stand there fazed for a while, your heart finally settling back to a normal pace when fred nudges your hand, whining to tell you he’s ready for bed. you fall asleep thinking of seungcheol, and the next day he’s the first person you think of when you wake up. the sound of your phone buzzing by your head is what pulls you from your sleep, and in your groggy state you look to see who it’s from and find yourself donning a dopey smile when you realize it’s seungcheol. you unlock your phone quickly, finding his message and letting out a small gasp when you see what he’s sent you. no words, just a link to a playlist titled “y/n <3″ full of just about every single song you talked about last night, with what you bet are recommendations from cheol sprinkled in. suddenly the tiredness is cleared from your mind, and you hop out of bed with a pep in your step as you press play and start your day.

it’s been too long since you last saw seungcheol.

well, in reality it’s only been a couple days. but after that kiss? even just a few hours is too long for your liking. it’s not that either of you is avoiding the other, no. you may or may not jump up and peek through the peephole when you think cheol is coming and going, just to see that it’s one of your other nearby neighbors. and he may or may not try to head to the gym at the same time he assumes you leave for work. but so far you’ve both been missing each other. it’s not until the middle of the week that you get your first seungcheol sighting.

your friend jen is coming over after work, so you left the office a little early to tidy up since she hasn’t seen the new place. you’re in the middle of folding blankets when there’s a frantic knock at your door, and when you open it she launches herself inside.

“hey! cute place,” she starts, barely giving it a glance around. then, staring dead into your eyes, “please tell me the sexy guy across the hall is the one tahi told me you’re in love with.”

“he’s not sexy-”

“but you’re not denying you’re in love with him,” jen catches, and you roll your eyes.

“we kissed once, that’s not love,” you explain. “more like infatuation. but whatever.”

“oh so you’re infatuated huh?” she teases. “good for you, like i said, he’s sexy. with those strong arms, his glasses-”

“he was wearing glasses?” you ask, maybe a bit too eagerly.

“yeah, he was all dressed up,” she replies. “he was leaving, but it looked like he didn’t have time to change from his work clothes.”

“hm,” you think silently, trying not to imagine a bespectacled cheol in a suit. “whatever, we haven’t seen each other in a couple days so whatever it was is probably over.”

“i don’t know,” jen hums. “when he heard someone at your door i swear he leapt out into the hallway, and he looked mighty disappointed that it was me and not you.”

“you’re lying.”

“impossible, i can’t lie.”

“whatever. do you want food?” you ask, heading to your kitchen. “i’ve got cookies i wanna make too, so you better be hungry.”

“always.”

you’ll never admit this to jen, but the cookies were for cheol. you’ve been meaning to thank him for being so...neighborly, and you were so busy with the move and settling in that it kept slipping your mind. cooking for jen was actually the first time you’ve made anything at this place, so you took advantage of your time in the kitchen and made a hearty batch of chocolate chip cookies. once jen was tired of your food and your company, she left (with cookies in her pockets, you could tell), so you were finally able to go share the rest with cheol. except...you caught yourself checking your reflection by the door, wondering if you looked too tired, maybe you should do it tomorrow. or should you change? is this too casual, your favorite sleep shirt and sweats?

no, you shake your head, clearing your thoughts. you’ve got to just go do it. go across the hall, knock, drop the cookies off, goodbye. easy as that. you take a deep breath and then cross the hall, already smiling. cheol opens the door after one knock, and you suddenly wished you had changed.

cheol is stood before you, with his glasses on, yes. which look devilishly handsome on their own, but that’s coupled with a nice dress shirt, unbuttoned at the collar and sleeves rolled up his strong arms. your eyes can’t help but wander further, admiring the way his thighs fill out his dark slacks. cheol clears his throat to bring your attention back up, and you find him smirking when you finally make eye contact again.

“hey darling,” he says, politely checking you out as well. you’re not as dressy as he is, but to him you’re just as mesmirizing. you look adorable, and cheol has to stop himself from reaching out and tugging on the hem of your oversized shirt.

“these are for you,” you squeak out, handing him the plate of warm cookies. he takes them gratefully, albeit a little confused, but he smiles as your fingers brush his.

“what are you doing?”

“catching up,” you reply, and seungcheol looks taken aback for just a moment. you smile at him and start to wave, turning back to your apartment with a short, “bye!” but cheol reaches out and grabs your hand, stopping you.

“what are you doing now?” he asks, and you give him a puzzled look.

“i already told you, i’m catching up to all of your good deeds,” you explain. “and now that i’ve done that, i’m gonna go lay down, i put a lot of love into those cookies, mister. it’s exhausting work.”

“no,” he laughs. “i mean. are you doing anything right now? do you want to..come in?”

“oh, um, i,” you stutter, seungcheol watching you intently. “i should probably go lock my door.”

“you do that,” he nods. “i’ll get some milk for these and we can share.”

you quickly run back over to your place, looking frantically for your keys. fred watches you from afar, totally judging you. you shush him, as if he could say anything, and then you delicately close your door and lock it behind you. seungcheol’s kept his cracked, so you just let yourself in, and you take a deep breath upon entering. it smells so...so manly, and fresh, like...like cheol.

you look around slowly, wanting to take in every detail. his apartment is dark, lit only by a couple lamps, and there’s a large couch looming in front of you. you admire all the leather and wood detailing he’s decorated with, noting the bookshelf by the door and smiling when you see some familiar spines. seungcheol emerges from what must be the kitchen, cookies on the coffee table already and two glasses of milk in his hands.

“you look good,” he says, nodding toward the couch as a sign for you to join him.

“what, in my pajames? please-”

“no, i mean here. you look good here,” he says suavely, and you blush deep and bright red.

“you look good too,” you tell him. “you fill out the seat of those pants pretty nice.”

“did you just say i have a nice ass?” he gasps in mock surprise, handing you your glass. “i can’t believe you’ve just been hanging around me for the goods.”

“oh please, like i haven’t caught you staring at mine,” you say as you reach for a cookie. you watch as cheol dunks his first, taking a healthy bite, and he literally moans at the taste. you hope he doesn’t notice you shifting in your seat.

“god, y/n, these are amazing,” he says, looking at you quickly before he finishes the cookie in two more bites and reaches for another.

“damn,” you whistle. “i’ve never seen someone so eager about my food.”

“hm, well, if you ever need the vote of confidence you know where i live,” he says, mouth so full of cookies that a few crumbs fall to his shirt. you don’t want the chocolate to stain the nice white fabric so you reach over and wipe it off for him, not missing the firm feeling of his chest below your hand. he’s still, watching your every move as you sit back on the couch, suddenly embarrassed by your own boldness. your hand tingles in your lap, and you take a bite of your own cookie to take your mind off of it.

you fall into easy conversation with him, talking about your days. he had to teach a class tonight, which you’ve just learned is part of how he pays for his master’s program. that’s why he was so dressed up. you tell him about jen coming over, and he doesn’t tell you that he could hear you both talking about how sexy he was as he came back to his apartment to find his forgotten phone. soon enough, the cookies are gone and the candle cheol had lit is starting to flicker out. you yawn, stretching slightly, and look around for a clock.

“it’s late,” cheol says, noticing your wandering eyes. “you probably need to go check on fred.”

“oh yeah,” you yawn again. “i need to walk him one more time before bed.”

“really? right now?” cheol asks, and you nod. “it’s too dark out for you to go on your own, let me do it.”

“cheol, no-”

“no buts,” he says as he stands and pulls you up with him. “i’m doing it. now come on.”

“but-”

“ah!”

“no, seriously,” you whine as you make it across the hall. “i just thought i had paid you back and now here you are doing me another favor.”

“stop thinking of them as favors,” cheol groans, and you turn to look at him. “what? don’t look at me like you don’t know i like you.”

“wow, uh, i mean, i did know, but-”

“then let me do nice things for you, y/n,” he says, pulling your hands into his. his thumb rubs over your knuckles as he continues to speak. “i like doing this kind of stuff for you, and i am not expecting anything in return. so just accept it, darling.”

“okay,” you meekly reply, and he kisses the top of your head before pulling back from you completely.

“now, if you wanted to make me those cookies again though, i wouldn’t complain...”

you fall into an easy routine the next few days, finally feeling settled in your new place. your friends visit constantly (which is how you like it). fred has a favorite walking path, and you see cheol just about every day even if it’s little interactions. you leave for work and cheol just so happens to be checking his mail at the same time, so he escorts you to the bus stop outside. somedays you claim you need more salt for your dinner, or bring over more things you’ve cooked claiming you made too much. there’s no clandestine meetings on your balcony or hang outs on his couch, but you look forward to each day wondering how and when you’ll see seungcheol next.

today though, you’ve been busy. you’re looking for a new job and your boss doesn’t know, so you had to rush around to an interview before work and another one right after. when you got home, it looked like cheol’s apartment was dark, and you were so tired there was no way you could fake a food emergency just to see him. simply knocking on his door, or texting him to say hi, didn’t cross your mind either, but hey, you were exhausted.

that’s why, when vernon texts and asks if you want to go to dinner, you jump at the chance to buy food instead of cooking for yourself. you ask when and where and who, and he responds one of your favorite restaurants in an hour, but he’s not sure who else is coming yet. that usually means it’ll just be you and him, which you’re more than fine with. vernon cleanly ruins that dream though when he texts back, “you should ask seungcheol, actually.”

“no,” you reply, going back to scrolling on your phone. you groan when vernon calls you instead of texting, but you answer anyway. “no,” you repeat. “he’s a big boy, he can eat on his own.”

“if you don’t ask him i will,” vernon says, and you can tell he’s smiling.

“please don’t,” you whine. “why don’t you just want to hang out with me? i’m not fun enough for you anymore?”

“no, you’re still fun-”

“thank you-”

“but,” he emphasizes. “watching you lose it in real time around cheol is more fun for me. so i think you should ask him.”

“you’re despicable,” you groan, sitting up on your bed already messing with your bedhead before you go across the hall.

“don’t use words i don’t know,” he jokes. “go get em, tiger. i’ll text you when i’m on my way to the restaurant.”

“fine,” you sigh. “wear shin guards, because i will be kicking you under the table in retaliation.”

“play footsie with cheol, not me,” vernon teases, and you groan again.

“i’m hanging up.”

“see you,” he says, and then you toss your phone down on your bed. you shuffle out of your room, fred trailing behind you. once you get to your front door, you take a breath before opening it. you crack it slightly so fred won’t escape, then make the short few steps to cheol’s door. you knock quietly, almost hoping if you’re quiet enough he won’t hear you. but, of course, he jumps up at the sound, door swinging open in seconds.

“before you ask, now i’m out of salt because someone can’t seem to remember it at the store,” he says with a smug smile. “so come up with something else, babe.”

“do you wanna go to dinner?” you ask, and that catches him off guard. his face wavers, only slightly, because he’s trying not to smile so wide that his head cracks open. his pause makes you nervous, afraid he might mistake what you’re asking, so you scramble to explain, “with uh, with me and maybe the guys and some of my friends? i probably should have started with that.”

“oh,” he says, deflated. he really wanted it to be just the two of you. “sure. now?”

“um, how about in an hour?” you say, and he nods. “it’s the indian place across from the record store downtown.”

“i love that place,” cheol smiles.

“which one?”

“both,” he shrugs. he can tell you’re about to turn back to your apartment, but he says quickly, “um, i’m kinda bored, actually, so do you mind if i change and then just come over?”

“no?” you reply, sounding unsure.

“really?” he asks, “you sound...concerned by that. we don’t need supervision to hang out on our own, darling.”

“i know that,” you scoff. “i just. didn’t expect you to ask.”

“i’ve missed you,” he shrugs, and you feel your heart leap into your throat. “so is that a yes?”

“yeah,” you reply with a nod, “i’ll walk fred while-” as you talk, you turn to look at the little man himself, and you both notice fred’s beady little eyes watching you from the crack in the door. you bust out laughing, and cheol joins you after admiring the sound of your giggles.

“what’s he doing there?” cheol asks, taking a breath.

“he’s supervising,” you joke.

“ha ha,” cheol replies. “go walk your weird dog. i’ll be over in a minute.”

you come back from taking fred out and find cheol leaned against your door, dressed casually in jeans and a big hoodie, and those damn glasses perched on his pretty face. you blush just at the sight of him, and have to shake it off before you approach him. he looks up at the sound of you and fred, smiling brightly at the two of you. he smiles even wider when, simultaneously, you and fred perk up at the sight of him. you silently open the door, and cheol motions for you to go first. you undo fred’s leash, smirking when you catch cheol watching. once fred is free, he grabs a toy and heads to his victim, tail wagging so hard it could set him into orbit. cheol plays with him happily, and you watch on with a warm feeling growing in your chest.

“i’ll be back,” you say finally, and cheol waves you off, distracted by fred’s excitement. you listen fondly as they play, and silently stress trying to figure out what to wear that looks cute but not like you’re trying too hard. reluctantly, you settle on a similar outfit to cheol, but instead you go for jeans, a comfy t shirt, and then a zip up to fight the cold. you’re checking that you have everything you need when your phone buzzing on your bed reminds you of its presence. you see it’s a text from vernon, and you want to punch him once you read it.

“ready?” cheol asks, a sweet smile on his face when you come back out. the sight of him, so comfortable on your couch, hand absentmindedly twirling fred’s ear as he’s curled up next to cheol, almost makes you forget the rage running through you for your best friend.

“i’m gonna fight vernon,” you tell him, and cheol gets defensive quick.

“why, what’d he do? should i talk to him?”

“no,” you groan. slumping against the wall as you text frantically. “he just said no one else wanted to go, so now he’s not coming.” you finish sending an essay of a text to vernon, realizing cheol hasn’t replied yet. you look up to find him staring back at you, a satisfied smile on his face. “what?”

“you know,” he starts casually, standing up and walking toward you. “if you wanted to go out with me you could’ve just asked.”

“i, if i wa..what?” you ask, still processing as cheol gets closer and closer, almost caging you in against the wall behind you. he smirks down at you as it clicks. “oh my god, no, vernon really did ask- i can show you the texts!”

“sure baby,” he coos, lips perfectly pouted at you. “i believe you. i’m just saying. for next time.”

“next time?” you ask. “aren’t we confident.”

“mhm,” he smiles, hands landing softly on your shoulders. “now, let’s go eat, yeah? then i can take you to the record store after,” he says, pulling you off the wall and leading you to the door. “there’s an album i want you to listen to...” and you keep listening, but your mind trails off, first thinking about how you’re gonna sock vernon the next time you see him, but then the warm feeling in your chest comes back and you realize: you’re going on a date with cheol.

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ressonancee · 8 months

Text

TRACK N02. KAMIKAZE - CHOI SEUNGCHEOL

I love the beginnin', the moonlight is callin' I know we'll go up, but we'll end up freefallin' You mind if I need to come kamikaze, crash into your way?

✷ wordcount: 7.734 ✷ genre: angst, break-up, smut

✷ This work is a part of "The Loviest Time Universe" - A collection of stories inspired by Carly Rae Jepsen's album

✷ Thea's note: hi everyone this is finally out - the first installment of the loveliest time, hehe. But first let me say a few thank yous. To @ssinboo for giving this a read since the first draft and enduring my thoughts on Discord 24/7. A thank you to @dalamjisung for reading this when i thought this was too sad and nobody would read this. And a special thanks to @toruro mika you are the kindest, thank you for reassuring me when I thought this sucked and was too depressing <3 , and for beta-reading ♥ I hope you all enjoy this (even if it hurts) also seungcheol-enjoyers i am very very sorry. Kkuma 2nd appearance.

I saw you in the deep end A shipwreck underwater And I know I shouldn't want that

Loving Seungcheol was not an easy task, and you learned it in the hardest way possible.

Loving Seungcheol seemed easy. He crashed into your life - loudly, fast. Often, you thought about it like a car crash in a movie scene - the part when everything gets upside down, and even the glass pieces flying around look kinda magical.

But you guess, after a while, the movie scene was just a little bit too loud and possibly a security hazard for everyone involved.

A part of you really wanted to give your all, to sacrifice, to just give a little bit more of yourself to make it work, but lately, you have been so fucking tired and so alone that you don’t even have the strength to try anymore.

You loved everything about Seungcheol, you loved his laugh, you loved the way that Seungcheol made everyone feel cared for, you loved how he treated you and you loved how he loved you, and knowing all that made everything worse.

But Seungcheol had that power - he made sure to make you fall in love all over again every time he had a chance. And everything would be okay after a few hours in the same space as him, you would feel loved, he would smile, he would embrace you and everything would just feel right.

The problem was that lately, Seungcheol didn't have the time to make you fall in love with him.

If you thought about it, you couldn't even pinpoint the last time you saw Seungcheol. You know he dropped by before going overseas for his tour - four months long tour, for a quick fuck but before that you can't really remember because he was already busy with a comeback and rehearsal.

And you tried your best to keep it cool, and you tried your best to deal with it on your own - Seungcheol was a constant topic in your therapy, and you tried to understand - of course his life is more glamorous than yours, of course he has the chance to go to all those beautiful places you can only see in pictures, of course it was work.

And you tried to bite your tongue and think how much of his life he had to give up in order to be where he is now. And it is his dream, his youth, his life really - so you can't make Seungcheol choose.

You know all that.

And you try to use your brain instead of your heart. But when Seungcheol is in the same country as you, in the same time zone, and still has a problem reaching up, it still has a problem finding more than a 30-minute time slot, you know what you need to do.

You need to let him go.

It is a Monday when Cheol arrives on your doorstep, you let him in and everything seems so normal - the majority of times you two hang out was in your house, not a lot of dating outside, not a lot of going out with your boyfriend enjoying the city.

You tried to brush it off and pretend you didn't care Seungcheol didn't have a normal life, so you two could have brunch on a sunday or a stroll in the nearest mall.

"Hey baby I was thinking of ordering from that chinese restaurant god I am craving the food," Seungcheol says, crashing on your sofa like it is his own house, and it settles on you that it is almost like his second house, a hideaway, every time he had a problem he would just crash on your place. He had the keys, why didn't he open the door? Why were you always doing the job? Letting him in, let him crash into your life? Why couldn't you crash into his and set things on fire? "Baby? Are you listening?" Seungcheol calls, but you know he doesn't really care because his eyes are glued to his phone.

"Cheol I need your attention for a minute," you say, looking at him, trying your best to keep it straight, to not fall on the ground and cry.

"Okay okay just let me answer a few more texts. We are scheduling the next varieties right now so everything is a bit crazy," your boyfriend says, still not paying attention. And you ask yourself - has it always been like that?

Did Seungcheol always come into your life, create havoc, crush everything on his point of view, take everything he could get his hands on and everything you could give him to not give five minutes of his time in return?

"Seungcheol I really need you to put your phone down," you say again and you are so pathetic that you feel the tears rolling down your cheeks, your voice cracking up - and that's what calls Seungcheol's attention, eyes big on surprise.

"Love, are you okay? What happened?" he asks and now that you have his attention, his phone is screen down on your sofa, his eyes on you, you feel all certainty leaving your body because you miss him so much and he looks so tired your heart almost breaks because you feel like to Seungcheol you are just another thing he needs to take care of, to handle, to adjust in his crazy hours.

You feel like you are a plate spinning in the little stick, and you are about to fall down because Seungcheol forgot that he needs to spin you around.

"I'm really sorry, I-" you hiccup, and god you feel so fucking silly.

"Baby what is going on?" Seungcheol's voice is low when he tries to wrap his arms around you, scared when you don't let him do it. "Baby you are worrying me," he says again when he watches you take steps away from him.

"You don't need to worry, everything is fine."

"Clearly everything is not fine, I am back after ages, and my girlfriend is crying in the living room," he says god you wish you could get angry and pick a fight with Seungcheol but you feel so tired, you feel so exhausted.

"I-" you try to start, but you feel your legs buckle and your heartbreak. "I think we should break up."

"What?" Seungcheol because that is the only thing he can say. Seungcheol feels like he is inside a car crash like he is the one getting upside down. He feels so blindsided by your decision, did... Did you find someone when he was away, or did you just fall out of love?

"I think we should break up," you say it again, more to yourself than to him, like you are making up your own mind.

"Can-" Seungcheol paces around, he actually feels his throat close and his tongue feels like sandpaper around the roof of his mouth, he can't even bring himself to actually look at you. But he finally does, seeing you sitting on the floor, back against a wall, hands holding your own hand, elbows on your knee, and you just feel so different. Seungcheol can't actually pinpoint what seems different, but you are, and you look so tired, what the fuck happened, how could he not see this coming? "Can I ask why?"

And you scoff, Seungcheol can see your whole body moving. Everything is so clear to you and so hazed to Seungcheol is like you two are in different directions speaking through a tin can telephone.

"I don't think this is working for me I-" you try to start, trying to dry your tears with the sleeve of your shirt.

"Did you find someone else?" Seungcheol blurts out.

"What?" You ask in actual disbelief, did he-

"Are you in love with someone else?" He says it again and you can wrap your mind around it, what he wants to mean with those silly accusations.

"Thats-"

"That's ok, I can take it, you can be honest with me," Seungcheol says again, trying to brace himself for the impact, preparing himself to hear the eyes falling out of your lips.

"You know what's funny?" You say without a hint of humor in your voice, "You actually prefer that wouldn't you? You would actually prefer the idea of being cheated on, of me being guilty of falling in love with someone else than to acknowledge that may be-" you hiccup, and try to breathe even though you can't do it through your nose, "that may be I am ending things with you because i can't deal with the shit show that is your life anymore, that I can't take being a second option anymore because your life is so fucking good that only someone crazy wouldn't want to share it with you." You pick yourself up, and you feel so angry, you feel so disrespected. You look at him, and god, even though you love him you know Seungcheol can't give you what you want, he can't give you coffee dates, he can't give you holidays, he can't give you the certainty of Valentine's days and birthdays. And even though you love him, even though you gave everything you could, even though you spent months and months on videocalls or just texts, even though you felt so fucking happy when he was by your side even though it meant a delivery and a night in, he is implying that you could cheat on him, like you could find someone like you are not broken enough to think that you could never love someone again like you love him. "Guess what Cheol, you don't share anything. You just take and take until the person doesn't have any more to give you"

And he stays silent like he doesn't have anything to say. Like he is trying to understand the situation, those hazy moments after the crash when you try to make yourself come back to reality.

"I am sorry I am really tired if you could-" you start, walking to your door.

"Do you-" Seungcheol starts and when he looks at you can see the tears around his eyes and you want to take everything back, you want to say you are sorry, you want to say it was just you're feeling lonely but now he is back, now everything is okay, you can deal with going to every working related dinner or party alone and lie when people ask why your boyfriend never comes. "Do you think I could do something different?"

"No," you say voice small, looking everywhere just so you can avoid Cheol's eyes. "I really love you, I love you so fucking much, I just can't deal with your life, I just can't deal with the loneliness that comes when you go MIA between shows because you are tired, I just can't deal with whole weeks gone just because you guys are working on a new album, and I can't deal having a boyfriend only inside the walls of my apartment, it hurts so fucking much Cheol and I just have nothing else to give you." you catch your breath, and you smell his perfume, and everything looks so out of place, how can a heartbreak make you nauseated, make you feel physically ill? "And even though I love you, I wish I could bring myself to ask for it, to make you give me what I want, but I know you and I know I can't ask you for that, and I know you enough to know that if I ask for it maybe I won't get what I want in return because you can't give what I want.

When Seungcheol leaves the only thing you do is cry. Like a child, on your bed, in a fetal position, hiccuping every few minutes. You cry so much that you fall asleep while doing it. In the morning when your alarm goes off, you can feel a headache. You think you will need a lot more than a painkiller. But you pick yourself up, and go to work and you regret it. You regret it when you see a fucking bus with Seungcheol's face plastered on it - his birthday is in three weeks. You regret it when you see it again on the subway, and when you open social media the news around his new album is across it - you think you need to delete every account Seungcheol related.

You also regret when you see Mingyu's name on your phone screen. But when Mingyu calls you for the third time you know something must be wrong.

"Hello?"

"Hey can you- ok guys shut up, hi hmm” He says in a lower voice, “can you tell Seungcheol to hurry up he is a bit late we have scheduled in like 30-ish," He says across the line.

"Hm, Mingyu I really can't do that." You say almost laughing because his friends don’t call you ever, you have Mingyu’s number registered because once Seungcheol had a dead phone and he asked Mingyu to tell you he was arriving late - that’s when Seungcheol still cared you think, after that he just arrived late without telling you his schedule was running late.

"No really like it is a really important schedule."

"Mingyu Seungcheol is not with me right now you should call him-"

"Is he not? I mean he slept with you, right? Did he leave your house already?"

"No, he didn't sleep at my place last night-"

"No?" Mingyu asks and the line is dead silent before you pick yourself up and have the courage to tell you.

"Mingyu we broke up yesterday," You say in the lowest register ever, the last thing you wanted was Karen from the sales department eavesdropping on your conversation and asking if you needed a girl time.

"Why did you break up with him?" He asks and that makes your head spin a little, how did he know?

"Mingyu that's-" you breathe loudly, you want to smash the phone against the nearest surface, but you need patience, and to be honest Mingyu didn’t do anything for you to be rude, yes, you are angry but it is not Mingyu’s fault, "That's really personal I'm sorry"

"Ok, sorry, yeah I overstepped for sure," you can hear the faint voices in the background, "Do you think you know a place he could've gone to?"

"No, I really don't, I am sorry, just" your bite your tongue because you think that’s overstepping too, but you say nonetheless, "Just give me a heads up if you guys find him or if I need to worry ok?"

"Yeah, yeah."

And against everything - your rational mind and your broken heart, you call Seungcheol, because he still comes first, his well-being and state. Even if he is not picking Mingyu's call that stills a part of you that says that you are special enough to him that he may answer your calls. He doesn't. But you don't even have time to worry because Mingyu sends you a message saying that Seungcheol just showed up and he is fine.

And the reality of it crushes you. You are not the person that Seungcheol will pick up when everyone calls him, you are not the exception anymore.

What really hurts is when you think that maybe you never were.

And the feeling makes you so physically ill that when you knock on your chief's door to say you are going back home because you feel unwell and gonna try to work remotely he just says you can take a day off because you are clearly looking like a fucking truck hit you.

The first few days make you wish Seungcheol was right. You cry so much you feel dehydrated and have a non-stop headache. So you wish he was right, you wish you did cheat on him, you wish you ended things because you fell. in love with somebody else.

You don't delete his messages but you do archive the conversation because every time you open the app it is just there and the want to hover it, to go back, to look at it, to have Seungcheol back in your life is so big you ask yourself how can you carry such a burden.

When you reach the 7 days you feel like somehow you can breathe again, now crying only 25% of the time. It's painful how you get back into your routine very quickly, it makes you feel that Seungcheol was not a big part of it. The main thing you do is to just keep your phone away, check less social media - the last time his face popped up and you almost yetted the phone.

On week two you do all the things that you wanted to do with Seungcheol, alone or with other people. You go to the new corner cafe with a book and order a lot of sweet treats. You go to the movies after a day of work because why not. You drive yourself to the beach, and even though it’s not really summer, the weather is nice enough. In a way you think you are a masochist, experiencing all of those things and reminiscing of what could be if Seungcheol was by your side. But every time you come home and your empty place greets you with the memory of Seungcheol and his belongings you think that masochism would be locking yourself up in a place where Seungcheol was most present in your life.

Week three is a living hell. It's Seungcheol's birthday and you catch yourself entering a store just because something nice enough to be his present caught your attention. When you pick up your phone to ask him if he prefers leather or wool the reality crashes into you. It makes your world spin a little, and everything is in slow motion when you go back home.

It doesn't help that you still have a pair of shoes, some shirts, a few pieces of jewelry, and even toiletries that don't belong to you in your own house. You feel stupid when you cry, but you pick everything up and put everything in a box - but you still don't have the strength to contact Seungcheol and say that he needs to pick up his things in order to move on.

I'm just here for the weekend A wordless kind of offer And I'm hoping that you saw that

After a month you stop crying.

Even though you don't keep tabs in a tracker you know every month that passes by, and Seungcheol's box turns into a decorative item by your door.

In a way, everything you know about Seungcheol is stored in the back of your mind, and sometimes it comes back to your conscious mind like an intrusive thought.

To be honest, Seungcheol still pops up daily in your life, his voice plays in the nice book store, his face shows up in the make-up store and now he is the face of your favorite lip balm, he shows up in the tv and again in the subway, he shows up in the news and in your favorite variety show - the first time you don't actually binge watch. You know when Seungcheol is blond and when he is not, you know when his hair is long or shorter. And even if you don't want to, you keep tabs on him.

But in reality, you can deal with it, you can deal with Seungcheol's absence when he doesn't come back to make you fall in love with him.

And it gets easier.

Or you get used to not having Seungcheol in your life, seeing him from afar, or not seeing him at all. After 3 months you think to yourself that for the first time, you feel like a human again. Like your feet are back on the ground. You can walk without crunches for the first time after breaking both legs.

When it hits the six-month mark you think it is okay to remember, it is okay to think about it, it was a milestone after all. When you think about buying a cake for the one-year mark you think that maybe that's not normal.

But maybe that’s the path of healing, the ups, and downs of it, healing is not linear - you think that you saw an Instagram post about it. And you just accept it, you don’t fight anymore about how you remember Seungcheol in the silliest things, when you look at something on the street, or when you start binge-watching a new tv show. But sometimes you also don’t remember him, sometimes you can go a few days without conjuring him in your mind - but you always end up losing the game when you think to yourself how you did not think about him.

'Cause I see you I fall back into the feeling like we've just begun Tell me, ooh Are you tired of being alone? You're not the only one

When you see Seungcheol, two years later, you just laugh and take a sip of your drink. It is really crazy how Seungcheol's absence makes you forget that one of your closest friends knew Seungcheol - he was the reason why you two met in the first place.

And yet you feel surprised to see Seungcheol in the same space as you after a while. And god why do your legs buckle and why is he so good-looking?

At the same time you want to turn and run, you are so freaking obsessed with seeing Seungcheol with your own two eyes after such a long time. God. You need a drink, you need a glass of the most powerful poison, you need courage and you need strength.

But before you can turn Seungcheol has his eye on you.

And you want to run and scream when you see him walking into you.

"Hey," Seungcheol says and he too looks like he is fine with everything, and you think if it has always been like that if Seungcheol almost didn’t get a scratch when you always left with a broken heart and broken bones "I-" Seungcheol laughs. "This is weird."

"Yeah," you say drinking the rest of your drink in one gulp "They didn't tell me you were coming so-"

"Do we need to continue doing that?" Seungcheol asks and you can feel your head tilting like a damn dog, and Seungcheol's tint smile across his face confirms your suspicion- he always thought it was endearing. "Avoid each other I mean," he clarifies.

And you want to say yes because you feel so weak on your knees. You feel like you are getting pulled - physical traction makes you throw away all that you learned in the past year, making you forget how difficult it was, how painful.

"I don't know, it is not the ideal but what is the other option?" You ask and don't even wait for Seungcheol to answer you when you look around - you need another drink, you are not doing this sober, you feel yourself close to tears and you can't cry sober - drunk you at least have an excuse to bawl everything out.

"Not hating each other?" Seungcheol scoffs, and you do the same.

"Sometimes I think about how we spent four years together," you say, going to the bar with Seungcheol by your side, you order a mojito while Seungcheol just brushes the guy off. Seungcheol is so close that you can feel your brain start malfunctioning.

"Come on, I swear I didn't try to pick a fight if you want I can go I already said my wishes to the host so-"

"Is not that," You feel so fucking frustrated, you can feel your heart in your throat. "I just-" You breathe loudly, maybe you should let him enjoy the party and go - he was the one that didn't show up in two consecutive years. "Look this is not the time or the place for us to have this conversation but the point is I never hated you - I never could, and to be honest never wanted."

Seungcheol just looks at you, his eyes big and mouth agape.

And you wish you could hate him because it would be easier. And because if you hated him you wouldn't question yourself if it was the right decision, if you hated him you wouldn't be thinking about letting Seungcheol back in your life.

"Hey, hey-" you hear Seungcheol's voice behind you.

Fuck you forgot the uber, so you do your best to ignore Seungcheol and pick up your cell phone, trying to open the app fast enough just so a car teleports in the street.

"Come on I can take you home," He says and you want to laugh really, what the fuck is on his mind.

"And would I say yes to that?"

"Look," Seungcheol’s hand goes through his hair and you know he is frustrated, and a part of you relishes that, in the way that you still know him even after more than 24 months apart, "I don't know how you are doing, and this can be me being fucking egotistical, but I have been thinking you hate me for two years, so if here is not the place then we can find a place, I would say my place but that would make me sound like a jerk so-"

"Cheol," you almost beg.

"I really just want to understand what happened, fuck-" And when you look again you see Seungcheol in such a different light, he is so tired, he looks so exhausted, he looks older, but not just older he looks jaded, "It is been plaguing my mind since we broke up I can't fuck wrap my head around-"

"Your house then."

"Ok, ok. Just so you know I have a dog." Seungcheol says while guiding you to his car and you just feel a pang in your chest because you know how he went on and on about how he wanted a dog, how you two could get a dog, how if he wasn't so busy, and far away half of the time you two should get a dog.

And God you feel so sad, you can actually feel everything building up inside your body, you can feel it in your throat.

You heard and heard about the dog and you were not there, and that’s all you can think about the entire trip to Seungcheol’s house.

"This is Kkuma," Seungcheol says holding the dog up, when he sees that you are not in the mood to greet the cute creature he gives up. "Is this a mistake?"

"Probably," you say, looking at his living room - god when you two dated he didn’t have his own house. How much did you miss? How many milestones in his life were you not a part of?

"I-" Seungcheol starts, making you look at him, "I just thought we could go back to good terms you know, I've been keeping tabs on you," and you don’t know why but you feel so angry, you feel like there is something growing under your skin you can’t quite name it. "Don't look at me like that, I wanted to know how you were, how you've been doing, and when I asked about you this last time he said I could show up so I thought you knew"

"I didn't"

"Yeah, I'm sorry," he says, rubbing his palm against his pants in an attempt to dry it. "I mean for today and for everything I guess, I wasn't the best back then. I just thought-"

"What do you want from me Cheol?" You ask for the first time looking at Cheol's eyes, looking for the truth in it, searching for every little detail you can catch to make it make sense, but that just makes you crumble like a sandcastle against a wave, "I've been trying so hard- god"

"Hey, hey-" Seungcheol's hand close around your wrist, his fingers in contrast with your skin. "Don't cry please, don't cry, I always hated when you cried, hated every time I saw you in tears because of me." He says while getting closer to you, which just makes you cry a little bit more.

"I am so sorry, this was a bad idea, I can take you home if you want to," Seungcheol says with his arms around you - and god, you should've braced yourself from the impact, but you didn't and Seungcheol was just crashing into your life again.

"Yeah, and I was crazy enough to say yes to you," you say against Seungcheol's embrace and you are surprised when he picks up your muffled sounds.

"Why did you, say yes I mean" Seungcheol making space to look down at you.

"You know why Cheol," you say rolling your eyes at him.

"It's the same for me too, I guess," Seungcheol says tucking your hair behind your ears, "Maybe that's why I went after you today, fuck, that's why I talked to you really-" his lips find your forehead, and you can feel your heart in throat. You feel like your lungs are about to collapse, you can't breathe, "when I saw you I just-" He smells your hair like he used to do, his hand on your neck, his thumb caressing your jaw. "it just felt like nothing had changed"

I know it sounds fatal, I know we made fires The ending's real clear and it won't take us higher Tonight, I might need to come kamikaze Crash into your way (Kamikaze, kamikaze)

You know Seungcheol, you can tell, you can anticipate every step. With Seungcheol it is like you have the ability to see the future in your lids. With Seungcheol even when he crashes and burns makes you think to yourself that you can take the fire against your skin.

And you miss the feeling - to be understood even when you don't have words, when the silence speaks for you when Seungcheol just knows what you need before you ask for it. That's why you broke things up, you think, maybe you felt the most loved when Seungcheol would anticipate every and each one of your needs, and the moment he stopped you felt so unseen.

When Seungcheol's lips find your cheeks, just below your eyes, you can hear the sound of your heart-shattering. Your hands tighten against his sides.

"I missed you," Seungcheol says, his forehead resting against yours. "I missed this, missed us."

"Cheol," you beg because it is the only thing you can do, the only thing you can master.

"Let me take care of you," You can feel the way his hand goes to your nape, making you shiver, "Let me make you happy."

You just nod, because that's what you want. You want it so much that you could change the earth's axis, you could change the future and the past for it. And when you feel Seungcheol's lips against yours you think that ending the world would seem like an easy task if it was to achieve Seungcheol's love, to have his touch against your skin every day.

When you wrap your arms around Seungcheol's neck you know you are done for - you know you fell in love all over again.

And you do it because it is him, because it is Seungcheol, and he is the only one who could break your heart.

"You will, won't you?" Seungcheol says mouth against your jaw, hand still against your nape holding you in place, "Let me love you?"

"Don't say things like that," you whisper, tugging on Seungcheol's shirt.

"Why baby?" He says kissing your jaw, his hand caressing your cheek, "god, I missed this," Seungcheol says when his breath in on your neck, rubbing his nose on it. "missed how you smell," his hand holds your waist and you feel so glad because you almost melting, "missing the way you taste," he says when his tongue laps at your skin, giving you a small kiss on the kneck.

The only thing you can do is try to anchor yourself, one hand splayed against Seungcheol's back and another one tugging at his hair. Seungcheol's hand goes around you, caging you against his body, his hands finding the hem of your shirt and putting it under your shirt.

And it is just so much, the way his hands feel hot against your back, keeping you upright. The way his lips feel against your skin, wet, across your cleavage. The way that his body feels hard against yours.

It's just so much. To have all that again, you almost forget how to breathe.

Seungcheol is so big - physically yes, but his whole existence is so big, it makes you feel suffocated. Seungcheol is so big that you question yourself how you used to fit him in your heart.

But you choose not to think about it, not know. You call his name while tugging his hair, blindly searching his mouth. And you focus on Seungcheol, the way that his tongue feels against yours, the way that he holds you, the way that you feel how hard he is against your hips.

"Let me," Seungcheol whisper against your mouth before his hand found the back of your thighs and picks your up - and you do the only thing you can do, letting out a surprised noise and hugging Seungcheol. And you can feel how Seungcheol's smiles spread against the skin of your chest.

"Don't laugh," you try to scold him, hand tugging his hair again - when he let his hair gets so long? It was a newfound joy for you.

"-m not laughing," you hear Seungcheol say against your skin, his fingers dipping in the skin of your ass.

When your back hits the mattress, you feel like you can breathe again for the first time, Seungcheol's body away from yours. Until his hand is back on your hips, making your heart skip a beat and your lungs collapse.

"You are so pretty," he says when his hands travel up against your body, lifting your shirt, Seungcheol's lips find the skin of your stomach, his hand pressing on your ribcage. Seungcheol looks at you, his tongue on your skin, linking a strip of it.

The thing about Seungcheol is that he still remembers. He still knows what makes you melt, makes you hot, makes you whimper. And he does it so right that makes your head spin.

Seungcheol lifts your shirt up, pooling it against your neck. "Fuck-" Seungcheol starts again and you ask yourself how he doesn't feel tongue-tied like you, "so pretty like this," his digits touch your chest when the lace of your bra ends, and it is just so faint, you lift your chest searching for his touch.

"Can I?" Seungcheol asks and you don't even know what he wants but you are nodding. He tugs on your bra, letting your boobs free. His forefinger and his middle finger find your nipple, tugging at it lightly, making you whimper. "Always loved how you are so fucking sensitive," he coos.

Seungcheol's lips find your skin again, and the way he kisses the underside of your boob is so soft and so tender that makes your head spin a little. Seungcheol lowers his body against yours, making you open your legs a little to make space for him between them.

Seungcheol kisses your sternum at the same time that his hands wrapped around your throat, he doesn't put pressure on it. But the mere fact that his hand is splayed on your windpipe makes you lose it, make you whimper. "God, missed this too, the way you sound"

"Cheol," you want to complain but you can't because Seungcheol just licks one of your nipples, his free hand holding you in place for him to latch on it. You don't even know what to do - it is just too much, the feel of Seungcheol's hands on your body, of his mouth against your skin.

When his mouth leaves your nipple with a low pop, his mouth doesn't leave your skin. "Don't worry babe gonna give it to you," you hear his voice low and muffled, "Gonna give you everything."

"Want you-" you say tugging at his shirt. And you feel so hot all over, you ask yourself how did you survive without his touch for so long, how did you survive with your skin against yours.

"I know, I know” Seungcheol coos and you just melt against the hand he places against your face, when he kisses you again you know you are doomed. “Just let me eat you first," he says putting his lips just below your ear, his body heavy and hot against you, "Missed your pussy too, missed everything."

"Don't talk like that," you beg and you don't hear it, but you feel the way that Seungcheol's body reverberates with a chuckle - and you take the opportunity to tug at your own shirt and bra.

"I know you like it," Seungcheol says opening the button of your pants and tugging at each leg.

"I don't anymore," you say just because you feel like you need to pick a fight really. To look like it is harder to rip you apart at the seams, to make Seungcheol think it is not that easy to wreck you.

To make Seungcheol think it's harder to have you again.

"I know you do," Seungcheol says lifting your leg and kissing your ankle, and you feel if it's not normal to feel so much. "I can see you do still like it." Seungcheol's voice drops and you can see his eyes on your pussy, his knuckle pressing on it over your panties, you can see how wet it feels, and god you feel so ashamed because you want it so much, and because Seungcheol knows.

You can feel how red your skin is. Seungcheol lies between your legs. He rearranges your position, opening more your legs, putting one of your thighs on his shoulder. "Don't need to lie to me," He says before slowly biting on the meat of your thigh, his hands holding you in place when you buckle.

Seungcheol kisses your pussy over your panties and you bite on your tongue, you hold yourself back. "God, I even miss the way you smell," Seungcheol says and you feel faint - and you tug at the sheet almost crying, almost begging.

But before you say anything you feel him tugging at your panties and you don't move, you just let Seungcheol move your body to his pleasure, taking your panties off but putting your legs the same way as before.

You feel Seungcheol digits against your folds and you bite your tongue again - trying to hold back. But when his thumb presses on your clit you can't resist calling his name. "Shh, it's okay baby," Seungcheol says before his tongue is on you, making your head spin.

You ask yourself again how you survived without him.

Because with Seungcheol was just so easy.

Seungcheol doesn't ask what you like he already knows.

Seungcheol knows how to pin your hips down, with his hand splayed, because you like how strong he is. Seungcheol knows how to lick your folds, how to suck on your clit, how to tease you with his fingers.

"Can you-" you try to ask for it, but when you look down between your legs you see Seungcheol looking at you, seeking your reactions, trying to catch every little detail, and before you can ask again Seungcheol is nodding against your pussy, mouth not leaving it for a second even thoughyou are bucking your hips.

And then you feel his fingers against your entrance. And it is Seungcheol he knows how you like it, but he knows too much, he teases you first, just the knuckle against your hole.

"Seungcheol, please," you ask again, accepting that you lost the war, accepting that you can't pretend anymore because you know Seungcheol will only give you when you ask for it.

But you asked for it so he gives to you.

He starts fucking you slowly with his fingers, his tongue never leaving your clit.

You feel like you are going insane, it's just too much - his hand’s strong grounding your hips, the way that his mouth closes against your clit, the way that his fingers enter you, the way his eyes never leave yours.

And before you can say anything you are cumming against his tongue, Seungcheol laps at it like he wants to feel your taste on his tongue, like he wants every drop of it.

"Always loved your mouth." You say before Seungcheol kisses you and you can taste yourself on his tongue.

Seungcheol lifts his body, kneeling on the mattress, and finally takes his shirt off, "wait," you call for him, and you look at him. And god he is so fucking pretty all over. He always has been. You touch him, hands against his stomach, and you wish you can make him feel like he does to you.

You sit on the bed, Seungcheol's position making him taller than you, but it is not a problem when the difference makes it easier to kiss his pecs. And Seungcheol holds the back of your neck, his eyes again, never leaving you, making sure he sees every tiny fraction of every little touch.

You don't know if you actually forgot, or, if you just locked the memories away in a tiny part of your brain, but when you see Seungcheol so pilant against your touch - against one of your hands on his stomach, the other touching his pecs and mouth sucking at his skins it is like it's unlock something on you.

"Did you miss it?" You ask hand working on Cheol's pants, palming him in the process.

"Hun?" He asks voice low, like he didn't catch the meaning behind the question.

"The way I make you feel," you answer, hand underneath his underwear, touching his hard dick. "Did you miss it?" You ask again, looking Seungcheol in the eyes.

"So fucking much," he answers and you can see how his body reacts to every single touch you give him, you lower Seungcheol's underwear, just enough so his cock springs free - red and leaking, and God you wish you could forget how many time Seungcheol split you open with his dick, but you can't, you think you remember each and every time, "Thought about it every day."

"Can you fuck me?" You ask Seungcheol, fingers wrapped around his dick, pumping him slowly, thumb rubbing against his tip, and you can see his body twitch, but Seungcheol just lets you do whatever you want with him.

"How do you want me?" he asks.

"You know how," you say it because it is true. Seungcheol knows how to eat you, how to fuck you, how to split you open, he knows how to make you feel good, and how to make you cry.

"Come on," He says hand on your shoulder making you lay down again, and you whine because the action made you set his dick free "You asked me to fuck you" his hands wrap around your leg and make your body turn to the side.

And it is just so hot, how Seungcheol can manhandle you, can make you turn and move, but still cave into every and each one of your whims. You ask and he answers it. You ask him to jump and he asks how high.

Seungcheol lays on the bed, his front pressed against your back, his strong arms around you, his lips against your neck, his dick against your ass.

Your mind goes back to how big Seungcheol is, how he doesn't let space for anyone else.

But you come back to reality when you feel Seungcheol's dick going against your pussy. Seungcheol mumbles against the skin of your shoulder, but you are so gone that you don't actually pay attention to it.

When Seungcheol starts fucking you you are halfway there. You hold Seungcheol's arms, your nails marking his skin. "You take me so fucking well," Seungcheol says before his teeth find the flesh of your shoulder. "Do you need-" You don't let him finish, tugging at his hair, searching for his mouth - and the kiss is messy and sloppy, and when Seungcheol's fingers find your pussy again you just moan on his mouth.

"Are you-" Seungcheol asks, and you know what he wants to say in the way his hips fall in rhythm the way his other hand tightens against your ass, the way with every stroke he goes deeper and deeper. And you nod because it is the truth, you are so close to it that you feel like your bones are melting.

And you just let it hit you, let the wave of the orgasm wash over your body. And you know Seungcheol is close by the way he pants against your neck, by the way, his strong hands hold your thigh - until you feel him cum on you.

You can feel your heart beating against your chest. You can feel the way Seungcheol's dick slips off you, and the way your back feels sweaty against his chest. You squirm a little trying to put some distance between your bodies.

"Stay," Seungcheol murmurs against your shoulder while enveloping you in his embrace, tugging you closer and you do. You stay because Seungcheol still makes you fall in love with him every single chance he gets, but your mind is still wrapped around the feeling that maybe, you two, are not meant to be, one of the lovers that could be so fucking beautiful and that marked your life, that is a before Seungcheol and after Seungcheol in your life.

But, deep down you know, that you just got tired of asking for more.

Now you don't want a lover that you need to ask for it - even though you know Seungcheol would never say no to you, but for once, you think that you want someone who gives to you without being asked for.

I love the beginning, the moonlight is calling I know we'll go up but we'll end up freefalling

456 notes · View notes

nonuwhore · 7 months

Note

Le, você pode fazer um com o Cheol+26+37

Parabéns pelos 1 ano de blog <3

GRANDE EVENTO DE 1 ANO DE ANIVERSÁRIO DO NONUWHORE!!!! 🥳🥳🥳

26. "Seja uma boa garota e abra bem as suas pernas pra mim." + 37. "Me ensina o que fazer." contém: prequel desse pedido feito pela @hyuckhoon; a leitora e seungcheol estão em um relacionamento; menção a crimes cometidos, morte e uso de armas de fogo; smut: oral (masculino); facefucking; oral fixation; masturbação (f); contagem de palavras: 2,3k nota da autora: a continuação do ladrão de carros!seungcheol está entre nós! muito obrigada pelo pedido e pela paciência pra entrega meu amor, espero que curta o resultado. 💖

A primeira vez que você engatilhou uma arma foi com Seungcheol. Você seguiu seu irmão para uma daquelas reuniões nas garagens velhas do subúrbio e ele foi obrigado a deixar você ficar. Ele e Seungcheol bebiam com outros caras da gangue enquanto tinham cada um uma garota no colo. Sua ideia era estar no lugar dela, mas ele mal tinha te olhando desde a sua chegada, então sentada do outro lado do cômodo feito de lata, velho e abafado, você esperou enquanto também bebia, tentando espantar o tédio.

Depois, você andou pelos cantos do lugar olhando as peças espalhadas no chão e nas bandeja perto dos capôs abertos dos carros, tentando lembrar o nome de cada uma desde a última vez que seu pai tinha te ensinado. Encontrou, entretanto, algo que era cotidiano, mas não era ferramenta ou componente de nenhum veículo. Segurou o metal entre os dedos deslizando as pontas pelas arestas frias de metal, seu dedo adentrou o círculo e você imaginou como seria apertar o botão.

"Tá tentando explodir a própria cabeça hoje?", sua primeira reação foi largar a arma. Seungcheol te leu de cima a baixo e a segurou nas mãos, conferindo se estava engatilhada ou não. "Você já usou uma dessas?"

"Não…", e um sentimento de inferioridade te preencheu. Essa informação só corroborava a imagem infantil que ele tinha de você, agora além de não te ver como nada além de uma menina, ele também não te respeitaria como aliada.

Suas mãos, que se seguravam uma as outras, foram tomadas por ele. Você o encarou automaticamente e percebeu enquanto você desfilava pela garagem procurando encrenca ele tinha tirado a regata suja de graxa e agora vestia apenas a calça jeans larga presa por um cinto velho, revelando uma boa parte da cueca branca. Você encarou o abdômen que transpirava enquanto vocês conversavam, a barriga traçando a linha até a virilha e o peito largo e de mamilos baixos, demorando mais do deveria, mas sem forças para se corrigir.

No final ele só tentava abrir espaço para encaixar a arma na sua mão da maneira adequada. "Segura direto. Com força, isso. Firme", ele te instruiu, deixando de te tocar. As mãos foram para a cintura fiscalizando o jeito que você se posicionava. Balançou a cabeça negativamente. "Se você não segurar com força antes de estourar sua cabeça ela vai estourar seu ombro. Tenta mirar. Não, não coloca na frente do seu olho, ‘tá maluca? Aponta e estica os braços pra frente!"

A cena era ridícula, porque em nenhum momento você teve a intenção de parecer boba ou indefesa, você queria mostrar que conseguia, sabia que ele te admiraria por isso, mas você simplesmente não tinha jeito. Abaixou a arma, a apontando para o chão, e respirou fundo. "Me ensina o que fazer."

Ele parecia irritado, mais que o normal. Seungcheol era emotivo, mesmo que isso fosse contraditório para a imagem dele e principalmente para o meio onde cresceu. Que ele tinha um temperamento difícil você já sabia, o humor dele ia de zero a cem muito rápido, mas geralmente ele não expressava esse lado perto de você, só ouviu falar sobre essa parte dele, na sua frente ele era sempre o mais despido de qualquer sentimento. Você gostava de imaginar que ele se escondia.

Puxando seu braço com uma força que talvez não tivesse notado, ele encostou suas costas no peito desnudo. Você sentiu o suor colando na sua pele e o cheiro másculo e agridoce que sempre imaginara que ele teria, obrigando-se a conter um sorriso mesmo que a vontade fosse quase insuportável. Agarrou suas mãos que seguravam a arma e apontou para o pôster na parede, encaixando a cabeça ao lado da sua, posicionando a boca tão próxima a sua orelha, mas sem tocá-la. O hálito quente quase derreteu seu corpo todo.

“Você não pode ter medo dela nem de quem estiver na mira dela. Você não pode vacilar, entendeu?”, era primeira vez que você notava um tom hesitante na voz dele. Você finalmente estava conhecendo o Seungcheol emocional de quem todos falavam e estava amando cada segundo. “Espero que você nunca precise usar, mas se precisar… ” ele se separou de você, tirando a pistola da sua mão e jogando sem paciência na mesa de metal, chamando a atenção do grupo do outro lado do ambiente.

Você pegou a arma no movimento seguinte, engatilhou a bala e fez menção em atirar na porta fechada da garagem, mas com a mesma agilidade Seungcheol segurou o cano e a atirou de você mais uma vez. “Para. Você não precisa me provar nada. Guarda essa bala pra quando precisar de verdade”, o olhar dele era tão sério quanto no dia que encontraram o corpo do irmão dele no cais. Os lábios colados um no outro indicava a falta de paciência e te dizia que ele queria continuar aquela conversa, que ele tinha mais a dizer e não era pouco.

“Desculpa”

“Não precisa, não precisa disso…”, ele balançou a mão e fechou os olhos por um segundo, como se quisesse apagar uma imagem da própria cabeça, “Só… Não se meta em uma situação onde você vai precisar usar essa arma, ‘tá bom? Se não eu vou ter que usar a minha”, disse te dando as costas e saindo pela porta, observado pelos amigos que chiaram em desaprovação e depois voltaram a beber como se nada tivesse acontecido. Você ficou ali, extasiada, desejando ler qual expressão o rosto dele estava escondendo naquele momento.

Você acordou do sonho que recuperou aquela memória. Seus músculos doloridos da noite anterior e da cama incrivelmente desconfortável te lembraram onde você estava e, mesmo com certo esforço, seus olhos não se abriram completamente, incomodados com os raios de sol. Você levantou a cabeça e viu Seungcheol abrir a porta com dois copos de café nas mãos. Ele usava exatamente a mesma roupa do seu sonho, nesse caso nenhuma roupa na parte acima da cintura, e você sorriu com a visão, escondendo o rosto quando ele te viu acordada. Sorriu de volta, um sorriso reservado, mas essencialmente satisfeito.

Fechou os olhos de novo, se espreguiçando debaixo das cobertas e sentindo Seungcheol engatinhar em cima de você, alcançando seu rosto em um silêncio sereno. O nariz foi ao seu pescoço, inalando o cheiro devagar e estalando um beijo rápido, para logo em seguida levantar-se e sentar na beira da cama.

“Onde você ‘tá indo?”, você reclamou, manhosa, tentando segurar o braço dele.

“Tomar meu café, você devia fazer o mesmo”, te respondeu com o tom sério de sempre. Ele bebeu do copo olhando para janela extensa do loft mal cuidado, compenetrado, como se fizesse cálculos complicados enquanto aproveitava o gosto, e provavelmente estava.

Você se levantou e se debruçou sobre as costas dele, circulando os braços pelo pescoço e dizendo um “bom dia” baixo no ouvido, que segurou sua mão e te respondeu no mesmo tom. Você distribuiu alguns beijos na pele da nuca e dos ombros, o ouvindo rir contido e soltar um “tsc”, sabendo onde aquilo levaria. Se levantou rápido da cama, animada, e ajoelhou-se na frente dele, a mão esperta desafivelando o cinto e abrindo o zíper. Seungcheol te deu espaço para fazer o trabalho, matando a bebida em um gole e se permitindo concentrar na imagem de você aos pés dele, puxando a calça e a cueca até os tornozelos. Respirou fundo quando sentiu sua mão envolver a extensão do membro já meio duro e com o dedão acariciou sua boca, passeando com a digital pelo lábio inferior, sentindo a maciez que logo o encontraria. Você abocanhou o dedo, chupando enquanto o encarava gemendo. Depois, segurou a mão e colocando a língua para fora, segurou o dedo indicador e do meio na boca, os babando propositalmente e permitindo que Seungcheol brincasse com a cavidade, indo até a garganta, como fazia quando os colocava dentro sua entrada apertada.

Tomou a própria mão de volta e passou a bombear o pau quase completamente ereto, inspirado pela expressão mais devassa e faminta vinda de você. Trouxe seu rosto para mais perto e deixou você deslizar cada bochecha pela pele quente e veiuda.

“Você foi assim buscar café?”, perguntou antes de passar a selar beijos delicados na extensão, indo até a cabecinha inchada.

“Assim como?”

“Assim, pelado”

Ele riu, segurando os lábios gordinhos entre o dente, já embevecido pela luxúria, imaginando o que faria com sua boca. “Alguém roubou minha camiseta, não tive outra opção…”, ele apontou para o seu corpo com o queixo, mostrando que você vestia a regata dele.

Você sussurrou algo sobre não haver nenhuma outra peça de roupa na casa e continuou: “Elas ficaram te olhando, não ficaram?”, perguntou sabendo a resposta. Não poder contar as pessoas, pelo menos por enquanto, sobre o relacionamento de você era um porre, principalmente porque Seungcheol era Seungcheol e no lugar nas mulheres que frequentavam a vizinhança você também não pensaria duas vezes em se oferecer para ele, como já tinha feito muitas vezes.

“Olharam”, respondeu, não te oferecendo mais nenhuma informação, dando espaço para sua imaginação trabalhar, sabendo que isso te deixaria mais acesa do que qualquer outra descrição. Segurou, então, a base do falo e deslizou pela boca babada, te assistindo chupar a ponta de leve e depois escorregar a língua por toda a dimensão. Ele sabia bem que você estava devolvendo a provocação e adorava quando você era tão filha da puta quanto ele. Os olhos se levantaram, desentendidos, e Seungcheol te encarava com toda a paciência do mundo. “Que isso, meu bem, tu sabe que pra mim só tem você…”, te explicou com o tom suave e ameno que esse sempre usava nesses momentos enquanto acariciava sua bochecha e prendia seu cabelo atrás da orelha. “Vai, coloca tudo…”, pede, franco, e você obedece, mesmo que um pouco relutante sobre as palavras dele. O membro toca o fundo da sua garganta, te fazendo sentir o gosto salgado e a mão dele se tornar mais firme na sua nunca. Você o olha de baixo, a cabeça jogada para trás e as íris reviradas de prazer. Empurra o rosto na direção da virilha, prendendo a cabecinha inchada e mostrando que ele poderia afundar-se mais, se quisesse. Seungcheol entende a mensagem, segurando sua cabeça com as duas mãos e movimentando a cintura para frente algumas vezes, grunhindo toda vez que sua língua e garganta se contraiam, o sufocando.

Se retirou de você, com o rosto seguro pelas mãos e o filete de baba escorrendo pelos cantos da boca, e a beijou, os lábios e cada pedacinho do seu rosto, sussurrando desculpas e agradecimentos. Se afundou de novo, encontrando o fundo de novo e se sustentando ali, absorvendo as vibrações que seu gemido provocavam e te libertando em seguida. Os dedos limpam os líquidos que descem e o nariz afagava o seu. “Você é tão boa pra mim, do jeitinho que eu gosto”, e puxou para os braços dele, abraçando sua cintura, mordendo sua boca, misturando as salivas, apreciando cada um dos detalhes de olhos bem abertos enquanto te via transcender nas mãos dele.

Te colocou de costas para ele, como naquele dia, anos atrás. "Seja uma boa garota e abra bem as suas pernas pra mim", pediu, separando as coxas e deslizando sua calçinha para o lado com os dedos que antes foram provados por você, tendo acesso as dobras da sua intimidade. A sensibilidade dessa parte, que já pulsava há um tempo, negligenciada, te fez perder o controle do próprio corpo, o deixando ser tomado por Seungcheol. Com um cotovelo ele te mantinha exposta e com a outra mão continuava a te estimular, brincando com o ponto delicado, desenhando círculos e mais círculos enquanto eventualmente usava as digitais para massagear também a sua entrada.

Beijava seu pescoço e a região da sua orelha, beijos doces e de uma ternura que Seungcheol guardava quase sempre para quando vocês estavam assim, longe do mundo. “Minha princesa…”, sussurrou, olhando por cima do seu corpo os líquidos escorrendo por toda sua intimidade que pulsava de vez em quando, “Você só fica toda molinha assim pra mim, não é?”, perguntou e você balançou a cabeça prontamente, gemendo enquanto assistia os dedos grossos aumentarem a velocidade da fricção, “Logo todo mundo vai saber que você é minha… E eu sou só seu, te juro”, e mordeu sua orelha, a puxando demoradamente, juntando todos os dedos e os deslocando de um lado para outro, acelerado. A última ação que você conseguiu tomar antes de chegar a um orgasmo profundo e aflitivo, soltando um lamurio grave, foi segurar-se nos antebraços de Seungcheol. Ele te confortou e elogiou enquanto você atravessava a onde de prazer com mais beijos e murmúrios de voz baixa, garantindo que você era a coisa mais linda que ele já teve.

Ameaçou tirar sua peça íntima quando ouviu alguém espancar a porta sem piedade. Mais murros foram desferidos seguidos de vozes que ambos escutaram. Seungcheol pulou da cama, fechando o cinto e tirando uma arma escondida no colchão. Engatilhou a bala e andou até o final do cômodo, confirmando pelo olho mágico que os caras de quem ele e seu irmão tinham roubado o comboio na semana passada estavam ali, armados e nem um pouco amistosos. “Caralho… Se esconde debaixo da cama, agora. E não fala nenhum-”, mas quando ele te olhou, você tinha a pistola que ele havia te presenteado anos antes carregada e apontada para a porta, esperando um sinal. “‘Tá maluca?! Vai pra debaixo da cama!”, te alertou, te ameaçando com a expressão mais assustadora e assustada que você já tinha visto.

Seu olhar, ao contrário, era seguro e calmo. Você tinha guardado esse tiro, como ele pediu, e estava pronta para usar. “Eu disse que eu ‘tô do seu lado, não disse? Agora abre essa porra.”

Seu namorado te conhecia o suficiente para saber que você tinha cruzado uma linha que nem mesmo ele conseguiria te fazer recuar. Respirou fundo, resignado, e cedeu, abrindo a porta de uma vez e atirando em direção ao chão para assustar os homens, te garantindo mais tempo. A primeira vez que você disparou uma arma foi com Seungcheol.

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milfgyuu · 1 year

Text

Matilda Pairing: Choi Seungcheol x Fem!Reader Series: SVT x Harry’s House Tags: 1.8k, Wedding!AU, Angst, Comfort, Found Family. Summary: “You can let it go. You can throw a party full of everyone you know. You can start a family who will always show you love. You don't have to be sorry, no.”

Warnings: re-opened emotional wounds, family/childhood trauma, abandonment, bad parents, lots of tears both happy and sad. The underlying reasons for sadness are rough, but there is a lot of love and healing in this piece.

“Cheol…”

Jeonghan’s voice is tight, throat constricted with emotion and both Seungcheol and Joshua look at him in the mirror’s reflection already wary of what he’s about to say. Joshua finishes fixing Seungcheol’s tie and he lays a hand on his shoulder. “Superstitions be damned,” he sighs, “She needs you more than anyone else right now.”

Seungcheol thanks his groomsmen and quietly exits the suite. The partners of his friends, your bridesmaids, are filtering out as he nears, all giving him a heartfelt nod or pat on the arm. He takes a deep breath, pushing back his anger, and opens the door of your suite.

You’re sitting in front of the vanity, face hidden in your hands, your dress still hanging in the corner of the room, untouched. He can see your shoulders shaking, hears your broken cries and the effort of trying to stuff them down and drown them out. He steps closer and tugs at the sleeves of his suit jacket. Not wanting to frighten you, he speaks up just enough to let you know he’s here.

“Sweetheart…”

You turn around in a shock. “Hey,” you quickly wipe your face, “Y-you’re not supposed to see me before the wedding. It’s bad luck…”

Seungcheol only smiles at you and open his arms, “Come here.��

His voice is so gentle and the choked back tears fall anew as you throw yourself against his chest and wrap your arms around him, locking your fingers at his back as though it would keep him tethered to you. That was never a genuine fear with Cheol, though. He was by your side through thick and thin and had never once pushed you away or left you behind.

Unlike your biological family. As cold and detached as the term itself.

“I shouldn’t have invited them,” you sob into his shirt, “I knew they wouldn’t show up even though they made me feel guilty but I held out hope for it anyway and I feel stupid for hurting like this. I’m too old to be this naïve.”

He hushes you, kissing your hair. “You’re blaming yourself again,” he whispers, cupping your face to look at him, “You’re not naïve to seek comfort from the people who are supposed to love you and you’re also not responsible for their poor choices. You don’t have to keep trying to to please them or prove yourself worthy of love.”

“I t-tried so hard to be a good daughter,” your voice cracks, “And I know that they have put this strain on our relationship but…they’re my parents. It’s so hard to let go and convince myself it’s ok. If I let go completely, doesn’t that make me a failure?”

Seungcheol shakes his head adamantly, “Absolutely not. You don’t owe anyone an apology,” his thumbs stroke your cheeks, “You moved out, your worked your ass off, put yourself through school, made friends who love and adore you…”

Your lips twitch into a small smile, “I found you.”

He grins, “You found me,” he whispers just before his lips meet yours for a tender kiss.

Choi Seungcheol had begun filling a huge whole in your heart the very moment you met him four years ago. He loved you unconditionally. Loved you on your best and worst days. He’d been there time and time again when you broke down and gave your family another chance only for them to disappoint you as usual. He was by your side when your mother cut you down and berated you for being selfish and unfeeling. Held you close to his chest all through the night while you sobbed and reminded you that none of it was even true.

He’d brought you home to his family. He’d made the effort to meet your friends and introduced you to his own, a crowd you allowed yourself to trust and care about immensely. If there was one thing Cheol would always prioritize it was keeping you surrounded in a community of love and support.

“Listen to me,” he peers into your eyes, “Everyone here loves you so much - they chose us and we chose them. No obligation, no blood ties - they are here because they want to be. You’ve grown up and made a family all of your own and you don’t have to ever feel guilty for moving on with your life and surrounding yourself with the people who care about you.”

“You’ll never let me wallow in self-pity, will you?”

Seungcheol smiles and kisses your forehead, “Never alone, but especially not on our wedding day. We have everyone we need here with us to celebrate. No need for tears today, baby.”

“I love you,” you whisper, the tension in your shoulders melting, your fingers unlocking. You know he’s not going anywhere. Not now, not ever. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too,” he whispers back, dipping his head and kissing you until there is a light knock at the door.

You both turn around and Seungcheol’s mother pops her head in politely, “Hi, sweetheart. I’m sorry to interrupt, but I was hoping, if it’s not too much to ask, that I could help you get ready?” her eyes water and she takes a moment to collect herself, “Every girl deserves to have her mother at her side on such a big day and It would be an honor…”

“Oh,” your lips dip into a frown as tears spring to your eyes once more and your arms slip from around Cheol so you can walk over to your mother-in-law who embraces you, kissing your hair tenderly. “It would mean the world to me.”

She pulls back to wipe your cheeks. “I won’t have my daughter crying on her wedding day either.”

Another knock at the door sounds and it’s Seungcheol’s father. His mother opens the door and he clears his throat, averting his eyes in the other direction, “Is ah, everyone decent?”

He’s met with a chuckle and deems it safe to look inside, his chest cracking at the sight of tears in your eyes. He takes up one of your hands and squeezes gently, smiling with so much fondness that you crumble under the weight of it.

“I wasn’t sure of a right time to give you this, but I figured now is as good a time as any,” he says with a chuckle and then pulls a jewelry box from his coat, “These belonged to my grandmother. They were worn on her wedding day and have since been worn by my mother, my wife, and now that I am being blessed with a daughter, I’d like to gift them…to you.”

He opens the box and there sit a silver necklace with baby blue diamonds and a matching pair of earrings. Cheol’s mother squeezes your shoulders from behind, “Something old and blue for you to pass down to your daughter one day.”

You look at both of them, lip quivering and break into a watery smile. “Thank you for being so gracious,” your eyes glance over to meet Cheol’s who’s hastily wiping away his own tears, “I wish I’d had parents like you growing up, but I’m so grateful to have you now. I hadn’t realized how much I would gain when I fell in love with your son and I’m so thankful for all of you.”

“You never have to thank us for loving you, sweetheart,” his mother says, “You are an incredibly loveable person and we’re delighted to be your family. So is everybody else out there filling up on hors de ovures.”

“I suppose that means we should get the show on the road,” you grin, dabbing at your eyes, “I should probably fix my make up and get dressed.”

“I’ll go fetch the stylists and your bridesmaids,” she says, “I’ll be right back,” she is almost out the door and then spins around, “Choi Seungcheol go straighten your suit and get your boys in order, you’ve seen enough of your bride before the wedding already.”

Cheol laughs. You’re never too old to be admonished by your mother apparently. Even on your wedding day.

He leans in and steals one more quick kiss, “I’ll see you out there.” A wink and then he’s gone.

Cheol’s father is about to leave as well when you catch his hand and he turns in surprise.

“W-would you…walk me down the aisle?”

Mr. Choi was a big, burley man - the strong and usually silent type. And his eyes glistened as soon as the question left your lips, a hopeful ring in your voice.

“Nothing would make me happier,” he smiles and you chuckle, handing him a tissue as Cheol’s mother returns with your stylists and your bridesmaids in tow, “I’m looking forward to it.”

Once the door to your bridal suite closes, there is a flurry of motion with the stylist fixing your hair and touching up your make-up. Your bridesmaids finish getting themselves ready and you all fall into a fit of giggles as they help you get into your wedding dress and veil. Your beloved bonus mom securing your necklace and earrings with a proud look.

And then it’s time.

Everyone disperses as they are called one by one to walk down the aisle and you hope your photographer catches every bit of it. Cheol and his mother go down first. Then it’s Jeonghan and his wife, two of your greatest friends in the world. Joshua and his fiancé, whom you’ve known since your waitressing days. Then it’s Wonwoo’s son, your trusted little ring bearer followed by his best friend, Mingyu’s sweet daughter, who you actually catch sight of, stuffing her little hands into the basket of flowers before tossing them up into the air.

Then it’s quiet, and the music changes tempo.

You look to your right and there stands Seungcheol’s father, offering his arm out to you with a watery smile. You go to him, linking arms and taking a big deep breath. He pats your hand and whispers, “You look beautiful. My son is a very lucky man.”

You chuckle, eyes watering at his reassuring smile and you make your way down the aisle together. You’d imagined your eyes would be focused straight ahead out of sheer nerves but you look around in awe at all of your guests. Your friends, co-workers, neighbors, some extended family you hadn’t expected to show up, and then your eyes fall on him.

The moment your eyes meet, Seungcheol’s lip quivers and he’s overcome with emotion.

This man, your one true love, had given you so much and still promised you more. He’d vowed to remain at your side and navigate life together on bended knee and you trusted him with your very soul. You near the end of the aisle and your future husband steps forward just as his father, hands you off with a soft kiss to each of your cheeks.

Under the altar, hand in hand with your soulmate in front of a family of your very own creation, one that had always shown you love, you exchange your vows sealing those promises with a kiss as everyone erupts with joy.

Cheol holds you close, smiling against your cheek as everyone celebrates your union and you know for certain that you’d never need to fear feeling lonely or unloved ever again.

Thanks for reading! 💖

SVT M.List | Main M.List

→ Please do NOT copy, repost, or translate, any of my works here on tumblr or on any other platforms! All stories are copyrighted, Milfgyuu, 2019. ©️

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papermatisse · 6 months

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Security Blanket || C.SC

† genre: horror

† word count: 2k

† warnings: demon, sleep paralysis, fear, idk

† synopsis: when all else fails, your blanket will always serve as your shield from the outside world.

† (a/n): this one is based entirely off of the Magnus Archives episode Tucked In, which has imprinted upon me and haunted me ever since! it is terrifying! you guys should listen to it/read the transcript, it's great :)

† taglist: @scuzmunkie @hipsdofangirl @hydroyaksha

anthology | main masterlist

(y/n) had always had a rough time winding down for sleep. The clock would roll well into the witching hour and she'd still be wide awake, staring at the ceiling with a distant and desperate stare, as if hoping the white void of her ceiling above would eventually lull her to sleep itself. Though it never did.

Perhaps it was the anxiety of her life gradually accumulating within her, but the sleep paralysis seemed to make the nights infinitely more agonizing for her. She wouldn't even recall going to sleep in the first place before the next thing you know, there's a shadowy figure lurking in the corners of her room.

Tired and mentally drained, her only solution to the matter was to lift the blanket up above her head and block out the hallucinations. And somehow, it not only worked, but it managed to put her to sleep just seconds later.

And so it became a ritual almost. She'd lay there flat on her back, waiting as the night stretched on with seemingly no end, and soon enough, the amorphous darkness which occupied the crevices of her room would reappear again, and she'd bury herself into her blankets and fall asleep shortly afterwards.

It was strange, but it was enough to satiate her otherwise sleep deprived mind.

Though as the nights progressed, (y/n) began noticing shifts out of the corner of her. The darkness that had once sat idly on the outskirts of her room began to twitch, sporadic and unpredictable, initially minute tremors that she could barely detect through the spare moonlight streaming through her window, but it was there nevertheless.

Soon, the twitching became more apparent, more like pulses than anything else. The dark mass wriggled like a living creature, and at times she couldn't take her eyes off of whatever it seemed to be doing.

Gradually, the shadows began to condense into one, compressing itself into seemingly a defined silhouette of a man, curled into the corner, yet still fidgeting as it had when it was shapeless.

One of the nights she merely watched it was the first night it seemed to notice her. Its neck snapped up and presumably stared back, and though it remained faceless, she could feel its gaze upon her. As per usual, she retreated into the sanctity of her sheets, tugging the comforter well over her head as she curled into herself and fell asleep.

The next time (y/n) looked to the corner of her room, the creature was already staring back at her once more, a black chasm of nothingness observing her where she lay. She remained frozen for a moment, watching the edges of its form seem to shift and blur. She stared back, fascinated by it as it was with her. Though the longer she stared, the more she could make out its features. As if forcing her eyes to grow accustomed to the sheet of darkness which seemed to enshroud the thing.

Through the haze of murk, (y/n) could make out a nose, the first distinction to catch her eye. Then a pair of lips, corners downturned into a permanent scowl. Dark hair that fell lazily atop its head. And then eyes. Eyes which pierced through the darkness of her room and penetrated directly into her being. Black vats of inky darkness that absorbed any light that dared cross its threshold. Its gaze was unyielding, boring into her, unblinking, as if attempting by all means to infiltrate her very soul.

The full appearance of what had been stalking her for so many nights now suddenly manifested before her, and the sight of it made things feel so much more real. It put into perspective just how comfortable she had gotten in a situation that cried for interference. The shadows still clung to his figure, dark tendrils writhing about and stretching to encompass that entire sector of her room. Yet even with the imposing nebulous stature of the creature as a whole, that maddening gaze of his that stared at her with this frenzied fervor rooted her in her place. It was as if she couldn't tear her eyes from him, whether it be from morbid curiosity of what linger beneath or from the utter fear of a predator lurking before her.

(y/n) felt her heart drop when he shifted from where he sat, eyes still steadily trained on her as he moved onto his hands and knees. Her breathing stuttered, hands twitching at the seams of her blanket, eyes unblinking as she nervously awaited his next move. He began creeping towards, stretching out one hand and dragging himself closer to her, crawling towards the bed with his ceaseless stare unchanging.

Fear riddled her being that night, and she quickly retracted her sights from him in lieu of the blanket which had always protected her from these apparitions of her subconscious.

The following nights were much the same, except the creature continued to morph into a clearer and clearer likeness of a man, which only served to further petrify her every time she'd blink and he'd suddenly be there, staring, waiting. At this point with the sheer terror accumulating gradually in her system, wearing her out until she was riddled with nerves on the precipice of self destruction, she was understandably mortified beyond belief. Though what seemed to only further her downfall was the fact that the creature drew closer and closer to her every night.

Some nights it'd sit there, watching with those obsidian eyes that just seemed… far too aware of something. An awareness that transcended that of her own mortal consciousness. Probing. Analyzing. Instilling this primal terror in her with its malefic presence that tainted (y/n) with its unbound knowledge, untethered from the planes of reality she was grounded upon. Though that staring varied in duration, interrupted by this sudden and frenzied crawling.

Initially, there were slow and purposeful attempts to near her, as if a predator deliberately nearing its prey in hopes of not being spotted. With every passing night, and with every evacuation into her blanket, his approaches grew more frantic. Sitting there for what seemed like hours staring, and then without any sort of warning, he'd launch himself forward, clawing his way to her as if his life depended on it. She'd hear the scuffle of his body being dragged across the carpet, hear his unhinged huffs of breath, drawing closer and closer.

Though like clockwork, when she'd bury herself into her blankets, it all seemed to stop. That palpable dread which lingered in the air would dissipate, as would the heaviness of his gaze upon her and the anxiety inducing sounds of his breathing rapidly nearing. The stillness of the night returned to its original state, and the dangers beyond her security blanket seemingly vanished.

Seemingly.

As she lay there one night, eyes listlessly tracing nonexistent shapes into the ceiling, she waited for her nightly visitor's reckoning. Utterly dead to the world, heavy lids begging to be closed even if they'd be met with restless sleep for the entire night, she lay expectantly for the usual regimen she had found herself sinking into.

She blinked. And blinked. And blinked. And after the umpteenth blink, in the peripheral of her vision, she saw him once more. Crouched upon himself, hunched over onto his haunches, leaning the rest of his weight upon his knuckles. As clear an image of a man as he has ever been, yet still bearing that malevolent aura that reminded her of the macabre thread which separated reality from pure nightmare.

His fixated gaze was shorter this time around, almost immediately leaping into his attempt at getting to her. And like every other night, she responded by burrowing into her blanket. Except this time, nothing seemed to change.

She could still feel that vulnerable sensation of being under his careful watch. She could still feel the oppressive weight of the room whenever he lurks nearby. And rather than the blanket offering its usual sense of security as it usually does, she instead felt entrapped in a cage of her own creation.

Warily, she dared a glance beyond the blanket—the first time she ever braves the outside world after the initial retreat. And though she had felt nothing had changed, that if she checked the area she'd only be met with the sight of the creature continuing to crawl her way, she was instead greeted by a completely empty room. As if she had nothing to worry about in the first place. As if her survival instincts were merely skewed from the many nights of being alert.

Cautiously, she took a gander about the room. The corner where he resided was empty, almost this cavernous emptiness like something was missing. The shadows which emanated from his body were gone, and the room felt obscenely large in his absence.

(y/n) didn't understand any of this. Why was her body so convinced that something was amiss in the room instead of feeling the relief that the intrusion was merely gone?

Her fists clenched at the sheets, heart rate accelerating and breaths becoming shallow. Something in her refused to accept whatever conclusion her eyes seemed to make, rejecting the facade of safety that was bestowed upon her.

Just as she was about to raise the sheets once more, to shield herself again from the nightmares of her room, a movement caught her eye, prompting her to drop the blanket and check.

A pair of obsidian eyes. Staring. Watching. At the very foot of her bed.

A scream ripped from her throat as she threw the blanket over her, grasping at the seams and ensuring no part of her body was revealed to the outside. She waited with bated breath, body trembling with remnants of that image ingrained in her mind. The image of his dark and sinister glare steadily trained on her.

She first heard indistinct shuffling. And then she heard a creak. The familiar groan of wood wailing from the old joints of her bed frame. And then she felt it. A pressure on the spot of the bed beside her right calf, and then another on the left side. It climbed up her body—beside her thighs, and then her hips, and then her stomach, before finally resting on either side of her head. All the while, a weight seemed to travel its way up simultaneously, covering her body entirely with its mass. And once it was right above her, in a way that her body lay completely under its expanse, it pressed down upon her. The sheer heaviness forced a gasp out of her as she attempted desperately to remain still, to preserve any form of anonymity she could in this situation.

(y/n) could feel his chest against her own, rising and lowering with each labored breath, spiraling her into this existential dread that left her completely and utterly immobilized. The suffocating grip of sleep paralysis seemed to finally have its grasp upon her, forcing her into this reluctant state of captivity within her own body. The malevolent presence continued to pin her where she lay, like a boulder upon her feeble form weighed down like lead.

His breathing traveled up towards her face, a perverse whisper against her skin as it penetrated the shroud she was buried under. Panic surged within her, straining against the paralysis as her primal instincts began to kick in, yet she remained unresponsive, with only the hot tears streaming down her face to serve as a reminder of her still living and breathing state.

(y/n) closed her eyes, willing herself to break free from this wretched state, but the pressure on her chest only intensified. The breathing had finally stopped at the shell of her ear, her own breaths growing shallow and strained as the air within her blanket grew thin. The room seemed to close in around her, more than it had already at this point. And then suddenly, a voice penetrated the maelstrom of fear flooding her system.

"The blanket never did anything."

† (a/n): tbh idk if I'm allowed to literally copy an entire Magnus Archives episode verbatim, but yk, still fun and groovy

† (a/n): not literally verbatim but damn I did copy

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nixtape-foryou · 3 months

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✿ SHOP ALLIUMS

The allium flower's globe-like blooms, which are composed of numerous florets, represent the power found in unity and collective action. It reminds us that great accomplishments arise when we come together. Allium's symbolism goes beyond its visual appeal, emphasizing the connection between strength, unity, and collaboration.

LIMITED STOCK - VENDORS NEEDED

Bouquets = Series | Stems = Oneshots | Seeds = Drabbles | In Shipment = Ongoing

STEMS

Lover by starlightxsvt (15.3k) || Sugar Daddy AU || The worst first meeting and then an uncanny proposition is enough to cause trouble for you. you fall for a man who doesn't seem all that keen on returning your feelings.

Remind Me by milfgyuu (2.7k) || Humor || You’ve had a little too much to drink at your sister’s wedding and can’t understand how or why Choi Seungcheol of all people is assigned to babysit you.

I Dare You by chocosvt (4.3k) || College AU, Crush to Lovers || Your longtime campus crush just received an interesting dare: to ask you out on a date. while the circumstances are questionable, you aren’t going to decline. maybe this is your ticket to romance.

Gryffindor Captain by http-mianhae (17.1k) || Hogwarts AU, Crush to Lovers || Being head-over-heels for the Gryffindor captain is harder than it seems, especially when everyone knows about your little crush on Seungcheol and he takes it lightly. Until when you’re partnered up and forced to be in each other’s lives on a daily basis, that’s when things take a bit of a turn

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kiestrokes · 7 months

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✨WIP Game✨

Post the names of all the files in your wip folder regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous they are. Let people send you an ask with any title that most intrigues them and then post a little snippet of it or tell them something about it! And then tag as many people as you have wips.

Tagged by the lovely @seokjinger-ale I am also a slow writer, thanks to the chaos that is my life currently. So uhhh, don't judge the pile too hard. I had emptied out most of my wips, but my personal chaos demon @minttangerines filled it right back up 😘

Geonbae Pt. 2 NSFW part of the Dirty Little Secrets au fuckboy!Park Jimin

Say My Name NSFW fratboy!Song Mingi

Netflix & Kill NSFW croptop!Choi San

Halazia NSFW Bouncy MV au brothers biker bestie!Park Seonghwa x OC!Kang Yeosol

double take NSFW idol!Choi Minho

Rock with you NSFW bf!Choi Seungcheol

muse NSFW reworking idol tbd

MUSCLE MEMORY NSFW fwb!reader x boxer!Jeon Jungkook ft. boxer!Seo Changbin

pink skies SFW boyfriend!Song Mingi x reader x ex!Park Jimin

Blue Summer SFW OT8!ATEEZ

Baby, I'm a shadow of you NSFW ex!Jeon Jungkook & ex BF's bestie! Kim Mingyu

no one like me tbd ace rockstar!Kim Hongjoong

Cyberpunk NSFW bodyguard!Song Mingi

Ditto Pt.2 SFW Kim Seokjin

Domestic Idol NSFW escort service x idol au, there are two wips in this series so far: Son Hyunwoo Bang Chan (RIP my drift partner @chans-room)

Life Finds a Way SFW Jurassic Park crack fic with hybrid Jeon Jungkook OT7!BTS

nostalgia NSFW Lim Jaebeom

Residual Adoration SFW memxmem: Seo Changbin x Hwang Hyunjin

Accismus NSFW modern royalty, arrange marriage au Kang Yeosang

Fear NSFW Bang Chan

Paradigm tbd carnival au OT8!ATEEZ x OT8!SKZ

Sanguine NSFW little red riding hood au alpha!Yuta Nakamoto x beta!Mark Lee x red!OC

Bisexual!WooSan NSFW bi bestie!Jung Wooyoung x Reader x neighbor!Choi San

Untitled Halloween MinChan NSFW boyfriend!Bang Chan x Reader x dom!Lee Minho

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honeyhotteoks · 5 months

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always only you (c.sc)

summary: the date was terrible, awful even, but you just can't call your brother to pick you up. you have to call his best friend instead.

note: hi um....... i'm back and a seventeen stan now????? don't worry, i'm still working on ateez fic, but s.coups has taken hold of my brain and i needed to get this one out there so..... pls enjoy

warnings: non idol!seungcheol, fem!reader, older brother mingyu, seungcheol is mingyus bff, reader is called a sl*t in a mean way by her shitty date, v protective cheol, reckless driving, unprotected sex (wrap it up dont be like them), reader is curvy and descriptors like full, thick, etc. are used throughout, makeouts, grinding, cheol is obsessed with pussy, i mean fr he's a bonafide wap enjoyer, an oral aficionado of the wettest kind, anyways there's oral sex f receiving, hand stuff, rough fingering, rough but passionate sex, use of baby and princess, creampies b/c lbr he's gotta, anyways they're obsessed with each other

pairings: s.coups x reader

genre: smut and more smut, childhood friends to lovers

word count: 14.2K

It was a bad date.

Not the worst date you’ve ever had, granted, but still pretty up there in terms of terrible. He left an hour ago, the minute you interrupted his monologue to tell him that you were pretty sure things weren’t going to work out. You’ve never had someone leave in the middle of a date before, but then again, you’ve never actually told someone the date was bad in the middle either.

Not being able to find the right guy is starting to feel embarrassing. It’s been years since your last relationship and months since you even had a second date. Naively, you had had such a good feeling about tonight and having to be proven wrong at breakneck speed before you even got your entrees feels like some kind of poetic karma for something you must have done. You just wish for once you had kept your mouth shut, but your good feeling had been infectious and your excitement about the date bubbled up out of you to your friends and your coworkers.

You just wish you never told Mingyu.

I have a really good feeling about him. That’s what you told your brother on the phone a few hours ago. We’ve been talking for a few weeks, I think you’ll really like him.

Stupid.

You should have known he was on the rebound from the suspiciously large gap in photos on his Instagram. You should have known he was just trying to sleep with you from the minute he commented on your dress, from the way he touched your shoulder for too long for the first hug. You should have known on top of all of that that he would be boring from his joking non-answer when you asked about his most recent read. Sometimes it takes all of those things wrapped up tightly together and shoved directly in your face from across a dining room table to know for sure.

You just wish you never said a word to Mingyu. You don’t want to see that look in his eyes when you tell him he wasn’t the right guy. His eyes always go soft, mouth downturned, and it kills you every time because he means it when he says - You’ll find the right guy soon, anyone would be crazy to not love you.

Tonight you really don’t want pity, you don’t think you can handle it.

“Are you ready for the check?” The server’s voice snaps you right out of your thoughts and you look up at his sympathetic smile.

“Sorry,” You manage, “yes,”

“No rush,” He lies, immediately producing the leather billfold and sliding it across the tablecloth.

The floor doesn’t start to drop out from beneath you until you open it, despite having to sit here and eat your pasta alone. This place is expensive, more expensive than you thought.

Your eyes run through the bill. Four cocktails, two appetizers, two entrees, one slice of cherry cheesecake. The bills your date left on the table just barely covers three cocktails. You can’t afford this. The prices here were probably nothing for your date given how much he talked about his extremely smart investing strategies, but not for you.

You do fast math, panic math.

After paying the bill you’ll have 9,600 won in your debit account. You get paid tomorrow so it’s not the scariest number you’ve ever seen in your account, but it’s definitely not enough for a taxi home.

Your stomach churns.

You pay the bill quickly, quietly, the server’s hovering presence by your shoulder enough to tell you there is in fact a considerable rush. Your card is returned to you in moments, and he places a brown paper bag in front of you, “There’s an extra slice of cheesecake in there for you,” he says, “I’m sorry about your date.”

He’s gone before you can say thank you.

You suppose you can’t really sit inside anymore if you’ve paid the bill and you’re holding a to-go bag, so you step out into the chilly night air. It’s been raining lately, but barely. It’s been cloudy more than anything, and yet here you are walking outside into the cold night air and a late autumn storm of icy rain.

Your date was a special kind of bastard for leaving you stranded a half hour from your apartment in a storm like this.

The comments he made about you, about your dress and the way it fits flick through your mind and your jaw draws tightly shut. If you had had the wherewithal in that moment to slap him or toss a glass of water in his face you would have, but instead you sat frozen with your stomach in knots.

It takes you one flash of rage to scroll through your phone and delete the three dating apps installed, and then you open up your contacts and scroll for your brother’s name. He doesn’t live too far from here, and you know he’s probably out with some of his friends, but if you’re lucky maybe he’s close by. Your finger hovers over Mingyu’s contact, but you can't quite make the call.

You’re twenty-six, you should be grown up enough to get home by yourself after a bad date and not have to call him to rescue you. Embarrassment floods you, the idea of admitting you can’t afford the taxi tonight just sinks into your bones. You love your brother so much, but the idea of seeing him look at you the way he sometimes does and then slip money into your purse for you to find at home makes you want to cry. You’d call him and you’d tell him you’re returning it and he’d play dumb - What money, y/n? I didn’t put that there, maybe it’s like when you find 50,000 won in your old jeans?

No, you can’t call him. You can’t go over to his lovely little apartment with his absolutely lovely fiance and cry about the sorry state of your romantic life. Nothing about that will make you feel better in this moment, absolutely nothing.

You scroll away from his contact and you think about anyone else you could call, but there’s only one person who keeps coming to mind. There’s no way he’ll pick up, not when he sees your number on his phone, not after the way you’ve treated him for the past year, but his apartment really isn’t that far from here and if he doesn’t hate your guts you know he’ll at least give you a ride.

The rain picks up, pelting you hard enough that you have to duck back under the measly lip of the restaurants roof for what cover it provides, and you don’t realize you’re well and truly crying until your cheeks feel warm and wet and you can’t get a full breath, but here you are. Stranded alone, broke, and loveless in an apparently ill fitting dress, and there’s only one person’s voice you want to hear even if it’s just his stupid voicemail box.

Tears hiccup out of you as you dial, cold fingers shaking as you try to press the numbers you’ve had memorized by heart since you were thirteen and got your first cell phone.

The phone rings twice before he answers, “Hey, you,”

The easy sound of his voice makes your tears come faster. Your breath hitches in your chest, “Cheol?”

“y/n?” His voice shifts, “Are you crying?”

“I’m,” You hiccup again, “I’m sorry,”

“Hey,” He tries again, “y/n, is that you?”

“I messed up,” Your head is starting to throb and you press your eyes closed, leaning back against the cold wall of the restaurant and hiding as much of your body under the overhang of the roof as possible, “I’m sorry to call,”

“That’s okay,” Seungcheol says, his voice sounding strained, “what happened, princess?”

He hasn’t called you that in years, not since you were fifteen and carrying a torch for him. Not since you made Mingyu tell him to stop.

“C-can you come get me?” You wish you could just stop crying.

“Tell me where you are,” He answers immediately, and despite the rain you hear the sound of his car keys.

You give him the name of the restaurant, the closest cross streets, all blubbered out between fat tears and rain drops.

“That’s…” He sounds distant suddenly and then his voice reconnects, “twenty minutes, okay? I’ll be there in twenty minutes, princess, just take a deep breath,”

You drag in a shaky breath, “Cheol,” you scrub the tears from under your eyes, “I’m sorry, I didn’t know who else to call,”

“Me,” He says, his car starting up in the background, “you always call me if you need me,”

You haven’t seen him in almost a year, barely talked to him outside of sending reactions to each other's Instagram stories, but he’s coming.

The way you fell away from him was gradual at first, and then an intentional self preservationist wall. Mingyu had introduced his best friend to a girl, and despite your high school crush being supposedly dead and buried, you weren’t prepared for what Choi Seungcheol in love would look like. You started being busier and busier until his calls went unanswered and then eventually his calls just stopped altogether. Mingyu told you later that the relationship didn’t last, but the damage was done and in the end it was just easier not to reach out first.

You can’t believe he picked up the phone and you can’t believe the first thing he heard from you in a year was hysterical crying. Taking a set of deep, steadying breaths you wipe away the wetness from your cheeks. Your date had hurt your feelings, but you only let it last for a minute. You wouldn’t let a man with such a fragile ego get into your head, and besides, you’ve always liked this dress.

Seungcheol makes it to you in fifteen minutes flat. He’s broken at least six traffic laws to get to you, including running a solidly red, redlight, but he really doesn’t care.

He’s seen you cry before, plenty of times. When you skinned your knee at seven or that time he and Mingyu played a prank when you were eleven, tricking you into thinking you were home alone on Halloween night. He’s seen you cry at movies and at videos of puppies and the sound of moving music, and he remembers your eyes full of glassy tears watching Mingyu graduate college. He remembers the sound of it when your grandmother died when you were nineteen, the way your shoulders shook and your breath wheezed as you hid your face tightly in your brother's chest while he looked on feeling so, so helpless.

Seungcheol remembers all of it, but he’s never heard you sound like you did tonight.

Mingyu had said you had a date. Earlier in Seungcheol’s night at a bar not far from his apartment, his best friend mentioned it off hand. Mingyu said it like an afterthought as he answered one of your texts. Seungcheol tried not to notice the way his hand tightened on his beer can, enough to make the aluminum crack inwards on itself where his thumb dug into the cool metal. He tried not to think too much about what that meant, just like he’s been trying not to think too much about you at all lately.

Now his mind is racing, threading the pieces together as the wet road whips by. The threadiness of your voice turns synonymous with panic in his mind and now all he can think about is how he’ll find you when he gets there. He goes over the facts he knows while he stops behind a small block of traffic, his knuckles white as he grips the wheel.

A date, a bad date, a date you needed a ride away from. The kind of date you couldn’t tell your brother about, when he knows that Mingyu is always your first call. As the traffic disperses he presses the gas pedal and weaves around the slower cars, images flickering in his mind’s eye. A faceless man looking at you, making you uncomfortable, pressing into your space. His mind loops on the image of an unwanted kiss, of pushy hands finding their way under your blouse.

By the time he’s skidding into the parking lot of the restaurant his hands are shaking and he’s ready to kill.

When he sees you, wet and shivering on the sidewalk, he nearly falls out of the car trying to get to you. He leaves the key in the ignition, the door flung wide open with warmth pouring out into the chilly night air.

He looks flustered, rumpled like he was having a quiet night in. Heavy gray sweatpants that hang just right on his hips and an oversized white shirt. He’s wearing socks and slides and the second you see him it dawns on you that when you called him you must have sounded hysterical because he didn’t even try to dress for the icy weather.

“You look terrible,” You clap a hand over your lips to stop yourself from laughing, and you can’t believe that’s the first thing you manage to say to him after a year. You hate yourself for having no filter, no off switch, no ability to just be normal and say thank you for coming all this way.

His expression runs from panic to confusion in a split second, “What?”

“Fuck,” You laugh, shaking your head, “no, sorry, you look good, but it’s raining like hell, get in the car,”

He blinks, “y/n,”

“Come on,” You duck out from beneath the measly roof overhang and dart towards the passenger side door, “it’s freezing, I’ll explain in the car,”

Your dress is wet, but not soaked through, so you hope you won’t do any damage to his seats as you slide into the warmth of his car and shut the door. It takes him at least thirty seconds to follow you, but through his confusion at your reaction you bet he finally registers the cold wetness of his socks and it snaps him back to reality.

He leaves the car in park and turns his body to you.

You owe him an explanation, especially given the way you cried on the phone to him twenty minutes ago, but all you can think right now is that it’s really, really nice to see his face again. His hair has gotten longer, shaggier and curled a little at the neck and it might just be the fit of his shirt, but he looks broader. It’s only been a year, but he looks so much more like a man now. All you can manage is, “Hey, Cheol,”

“Hey,” He answers, shifting himself further in the seat so that he’s almost twisted up sideways, one leg tucked up to accommodate the position.

The front of his shirt is damp with rain and clinging a bit to his chest and you look down. You really do not need to be having these kinds of thoughts about him again, it’s only been a minute, ninety seconds at the most.

“y/n,” He says, his voice slow and soft, “what happened?”

Shame floods you, heating your cheeks red.

He stretches a hand across the center console, but he stops halfway, his fingers closing into a loose fist, “You know you can tell me anything, right?”

“I know,”

“I won’t tell Gyu,” He offers quietly, “just tell me what happened, and I promise, I’ll take care of it.”

Oh.

Your head snaps up at his serious tone, “Nothing happened, I’m fine,”

He looks more confused than before if that’s even possible, and you can practically see him working out his next words.

“Cheol,” You shake your head, “I’m serious, I’m completely fine, I just needed a ride,”

“You were crying,” He says, not a question but a fact.

“I know,” You sigh.

“You were crying like something happened,” He draws his arm back and runs a hand through his damp hair, “and you called me?”

“I know,” You repeat, “it was a bad date, but that’s all it was. He ditched me without a ride though and I just,”

Seungcheol’s lips close at your words as he waits for you to finish.

“The thought of calling Mingyu and telling him about this just,” You clear your throat to push back a little bubble of emotion, “yeah, I couldn’t do that,”

“Oh,” His voice drops, and Seungcheol shifts in his seat, throwing the car into drive, “got it.”

“No, Cheol,” You shake your head, “that’s not what I meant,”

“It’s fine,” He peels out of the parking lot, “I’ll drive you home.”

He’s angry, pissed at you in that way he gets pissed. Tightened jaw, heavy sighs, his knee bouncing in irritation. If you give it five minutes he’ll tell you what’s bothering him, he’ll say it in a fast rush like he’s more disappointed than mad. You have to let him come to you when he’s like this, no amount of trying to explain will fix it, so you wait.

The drive is silent, and you fight the urge to jump in with directions when he approaches each light and turn. He knows where your apartment is, he helped you move in four years ago when you graduated college. Mingyu and his friends lifting box after box and telling you to just relax and let the professionals handle it. You smile at the memory.

He stays quiet until he turns off the major road and down the side streets that will take you to your apartment, but finally he says, “You can’t just call me like that and expect me to drop everything when you have a bad date,”

“Were you busy?” You didn’t think so judging by the state of his clothes, but it’s not out of the realm of possibility. He could have had friends over, maybe a girl. You wonder idly if he’s seeing someone.

“That’s not the point,” He glances at you, “and you know it.”

“I’m sorry,” You tell him, and you mean it, “I really didn’t know who to call, and I just,”

“What, y/n?” He pushes a little.

“I just don’t want to tell Mingyu about the date,” You confess, “and I didn’t mean to call you and be such a mess, the date really was bad and I was feeling sorry for myself, and I didn’t have enough money to get home,”

“What?” He swivels his head to the side for a moment and then refocuses on the road.

“I would have called a taxi,” You explain, “but my fucking date left and didn’t pay after we ordered all this food and it was more than I was planning for,”

“He didn’t pay?” He sounds disgusted and you smile.

“No,” You tell him, “but in fairness, I did tell him in the middle of the date it wasn’t going to work out,”

He laughs sharply, and you know he’s still irritated but at least he’s listening, “That bad?”

“Yeah,” You sigh, “but it is what it is,”

He glances over to you again, “So he walked out?”

“Basically,” You nod, “he said what he needed to say, dropped twenty-thousand won on the table like that was going to cover anything and walked out. At least now I know he was an asshole, I’m not missing out on anything,”

“What did he say to you?” His voice pops up an octave.

You’d really rather not tell him, you’d be fine burying the comment he made deep down inside never to be unpacked again. You shake your head, “It’s fine,”

“It doesn’t seem fine,” He starts, but you smoothly cut back in.

“I just didn’t want Gyu to feel bad for me I guess, he knew I was looking forward to the date, and having to call for a ride like this, I don’t know. I was embarrassed,” You explain.

“I still don’t understand why you called me, though,” He admits, and you can still feel the tension in him even though the conversation has been ebbing and flowing, “I’m not your brother.”

Irritation sparks in you at the comment, “I know you’re not,” you turn to him, “but we’re friends, aren’t we?”

“Friends call each other,” He says simply, “don’t they?”

You let his comment sit in the air between you for a moment, and then you sigh, “Yeah, they do. I’m sorry I disappeared on you like that,”

“I tried calling,” He says softly, “but you were always busy,”

“I know,” You breathe.

He drives further, slower now and safer that you’re in the car, and you can see him thinking through your words. Finally he slides his hand across the center console with his palm turned up, offering you his hand, “y/n,” he says, “are you doing okay? With money, I mean, after what you said?”

“I’m good,” You tell him, “it was just shitty timing,”

“If you need anything,” He squeezes your hand as you slide your palm across his, “I’m here, we don’t have to say anything to,”

“I’m okay,” You assure him, “but thank you, seriously,”

He nods, accepting your words, but then he asks something harder, “What did that guy say to you, y/n? I know you, you weren’t crying like that over not being able to get a taxi,”

You sigh, leaning back in the passenger seat, “Can I ask you to let it go?”

“You can ask,” He shrugs, “but so can I.”

You sit quietly, looking at your entwined hands resting on your knee. His thumb strokes over your knuckles slowly.

“Fine,” You murmur, “he said he didn’t want to date me anyways, he just came to sleep with me,”

His hand tightens on yours.

“And if I wasn’t going to fuck him,” You do your best to clean up some of the language he used when he got up from the table, “I shouldn’t have dressed like a slut,”

You leave out the part that really cut deep, the part that made the more form fitting dress you chose go from sexy to something sour.

“Give me this asshole’s name,” Seungcheol skids to a stop a little too harshly at the next traffic light and turns to you.

“No,” You shake your head, “I’m fine now, it just stung,”

His lips close in a tight line and then he sighs, “I’m so sorry someone said that to you,”

“Don’t apologize, Cheol,” You squeeze his hand, “you didn’t say it.”

“I know, but still,” He holds your gaze, “it was mean, and you deserve much better from a guy you’re seeing, and you don’t look like, or I mean, you aren’t a,”

You smile as he stumbles over his words and someone behind him gently honks the horn enough to let him know the light has gone green.

He jolts and refocuses on the road, clearing his throat, “What I’m trying to say is that you look nice, pretty. The dress is good, and you, um, you don’t look,”

“Thank you,” You cut him off, trying to save him from swallowing his own tongue out of embarrassment, and you ignore the way your stomach flipped over on itself hearing Seungcheol call you pretty.

“Yeah,” He swallows, slowing down to make the final turn onto your little block, “you know what I mean,”

“Mhm,” You laugh, breaking down any lingering tension, “Cheol, are you a little disappointed you didn’t get to punch my date? Is that it?”

“Shut up,” He sighs.

“Aw,” You smile as he pulls into a space by your apartment, “You were worried about me?”

He rolls his eyes as he kills the ignition, “You were hysterical,” he says, “what was I supposed to think?”

“Don’t worry,” You smile as he throws open the driver’s side door, “I think it’s kind of sweet that you went all knight and shining armor on me,”

His lip twitches, “Don’t make fun,” he says, “I thought something bad happened to you,”

“Nothing bad happened to me,” You find yourself assuring him again even though he already knows this, and you twist the moment back to a joke as quickly as you can, “unless you count listening to a guy talk about his ex for twenty minutes,”

He grimaces, “Ugh,”

“Exactly,”

“Actually, you know what,” He grins, “you’re right, that is a terrible date and you were right to call me,”

He’s out of the car and crossing to your door and relief floods your chest. Just like that, you’re back to normal.

Seungcheol pulls open your door to let you out and says, “Do you have a towel or something?”

“You want to come up?”

“If you don’t mind,”

“You just swooped in and saved my night, Coups, of course I don’t mind.” He smiles at the nickname, the one mostly used by his friend group and coined by Seungcheol himself during their short lived Soundcloud music career freshman year of college. The nickname stuck, but you and Mingyu knew him before and you’ve both always, always called him Seungcheol.

He ducks his head, smiles, and follows you up the stairs and into your apartment just like old times.

It’s a little strange seeing him like this after so much time has passed, but no matter what has happened in your life, even when your childhood little crush on him was making your nights sleepless, he’s always been there. He’s been a constant in your life since you could form memories, and when you really think about it, you’ve never not known Seungcheol. Suddenly seeing him in your living room feels right, and it makes you wonder why you couldn’t pick up the phone and say something real to him this past year.

“It looks good in here,” He offers, toeing off his slides in the entryway and stepping into your little living room, “it looks like you,”

“Thanks,” You’re pretty sure the floor of your bedroom is still covered in clothes from earlier, but he’s not going to see that and you’re just glad you didn’t let that chaos spillover out here.

“So,” He clears his throat lightly.

“Towel,” You jump, “right, hold on,”

You disappear down the hall and Seungcheol’s chest goes fluttering fast. He doesn’t need a towel, he doesn’t need anything except a pair of dry socks and his own bed, and he can’t figure out for the life of him why he gave into the little voice that told him to come upstairs. You’ve made it pretty clear over the past year or so that you’ve grown up, you’ve made your own group of friends outside of him and your brother and the guys. He doesn’t need to be here, you don’t need him anymore, you just needed a ride.

But he’s missed you a little. A lot if he’s being honest with himself. Sometimes he finds himself asking Mingyu about you, hoping you might drop by while he’s at his best friend’s place. Your name on his phone screen earlier in the night had stopped his heart cold. He couldn’t imagine why you were calling and not just texting, and he picked up the phone so fast he thought he might have fucked it up and accidentally pressed end. He tried to sound casual, normal, but his heart was pounding.

Standing in your living room he feels out of place, like a forgotten childhood relic unboxed in the middle of a new home. He doesn’t know which seat to sit in, he doesn’t have his spot on your couch here like he did at your old place. He doesn’t know where you keep your glasses or which remote would switch on the television. He doesn’t know which book you’ve been reading from the little stack on the table or the name of the place you’ve been working, and there’s a man’s jacket hanging on the wall in the hallway that he doesn’t recognize. He hopes it’s Mingyu’s.

He doesn’t know why he’s here. He should leave. He should go.

“Okay,” Your voice comes back, and he tears his eyes away from the little details of your life he doesn’t recognize to look back at you, “I’ve got a towel, socks, and I bet I have a sweatshirt of Gyu’s around here if you’re cold,”

“I’m good,” He recovers, taking the dry items from your hands.

Your fingers brush along his as you pass everything off and your stomach jumps.

“Come in,” You wave him in, “I’ll make some coffee or something and then I need to change,”

“You should get a warm shower,” He says abruptly, “you’ll catch a cold,”

“I’m fine,” You shake your head, “I wasn’t out there for too long,”

“I’ll make the coffee then, you need to get out of that wet dress,” He shoos you away and points to your kitchen, “I assume you have a normal coffee machine and not some fancy Italian thing?”

“I think you’ll be fine,” You smile, “I’ll just be a second,”

He nods, and you dart back down the hallway to your bedroom.

It takes you three minutes to change into something comfortable and clean and then kick all of your scattered clothes into the closet and shut the door. You run a brush through your tangled hair from the rain, and you almost forget that your childhood crush is walking freely around your apartment, but then you hear his laugh and you melt into the wall behind you. You missed the sound of it so much, and if you don’t get a handle on this right now you’re going to go out there and make a fool of yourself.

But then he laughs again.

You smile as you come back out into the living room, leaving your good sense behind in the bathroom, “What’s so funny?”

“I haven’t seen these in years,” He grins, and as you come around the corner you realize he’s looking at the photos you have framed and sitting in various spots on your bookshelf.

“Oh,” You smile, seeing the one he’s holding and studying, “yeah,”

“This one,” He tips the frame so you can see the picture, but you already know which one, Mingyu and Seungcheol in their first year of college stand in the center of the frame, Wonwoo, Jeonghan, Dokyeom, and Hoshi with their arms thrown around each other on either side. You are crouching in the center with Jeonghan’s little sister, both of you holding out a peace sign.

“Isn’t this the night we went to that haunted theme park?” Seungcheol asks with a smile.

“Yeah,” You take the photo back from him and look it over for a moment, “in Daegu,”

He nods, “I remember,”

“Yeah,” You place the photo back in it’s assigned spot and turn towards the kitchen, “I just remember you and DK scaring the living shit out of me,”

“God,” He runs a hand through his hair, “we did, I felt so bad about that after,”

“Mm,” You laugh.

“Gyu reamed us out for it later,” He follows you into the kitchen and watches as you pour two cups of freshly brewed coffee.

“He never told me that,” Your eyes perk up in surprise.

“He said,” Seungcheol straightens himself up to his full height and lets his face go passive for his impression, “‘If you ever make my sister cry like that again, you’ll be sorry,’”

“Sorry?” You laugh, “Mingyu wouldn’t know how to make someone sorry if his life depended on it,”

“I don’t know,” He shrugs, relaxing his shoulders and reaching for his cup, “it seemed pretty clear he wasn’t fucking around, we took him seriously,”

“Wow,” You lean against the counter, “that’s actually kind of sweet,”

“He’s always been protective of you,” Seungcheol points out, “even now, he’ll talk about you and I can see it,”

“I’m not a kid anymore, though,” You bristle a little.

“He knows that,” Seungcheol shakes his head, “he just worries, you know, it’s his nature,”

“Yeah,” You nod, taking a long sip of your coffee, “I know,”

Seungcheol hovers, not finding a place to lean or to sit in the unfamiliar place, and finally he just asks the question that’s been on his mind for the past twenty minutes, “Is that why you didn’t call him? He worries too much?”

“I guess a little,” You move past him and back into the living room, “come sit down, you’re making me nervous,”

He blushes and every little emotion you’ve ever had for him comes thundering back in your chest. There are at least three places for him to sit that aren’t directly next to you on the couch, but he ignores every one of them and sits next to you, barely a foot away, and turns towards you so he can put all his focus on you.

“So,” He prompts you, “come on, it’s just me,”

Talking to him was always easy, always. Even in the throes of your infatuation you were able to hold a conversation with him, sometimes a long one out on the balcony of your parent’s house. It’s almost irritating how quickly that familiarity and comfort comes back.

“I just feel like I’ve been really fucking this whole dating thing up,” You confess, “and Mingyu’s been… well you know him, he’s like the number one hype man for me making all my dreams come true, and being ten out of ten happy,”

“Yeah,” He nods, but lets you continue.

“But I just haven’t been able to make it work with anyone in a while,” You bite down the reason why in the back of your brain, “and every time I tell him about a bad date he just looks sadder and sadder for me,”

“Mm,” He nods, sympathetic, “I know exactly what you mean.”

“I’m so glad you picked up, honestly,” You glance down at the edge of your cup, “you’ve never treated me like that, and I just… I guess I needed a friend and not my brother tonight,”

He hesitates, but then his hand comes to rest on your knee and he gives you a squeeze, “I get it,” he says, “but, honestly it seems like you’re putting a lot of pressure on yourself,”

“I know, but,” You sigh, your words dying out as you focus on his lingering hand on your knee.

“What’s so important about getting a guy right now?” He asks, and you almost laugh at the absurdity of this man asking you that question.

“Cheol,” You shift on the couch to reposition, pulling back your knee from his touch so you can face him and admit this without being dizzier than you are about his presence, “I don’t know, exactly, but… don’t you feel like living alone is kind of fucking lonely sometimes?”

His eyes flick over you and then he nods.

The words keep coming as much as you don’t want them to now that you’ve started telling someone, telling him the truth of it and you grimace as you admit it, “The sick part is that I think it’s me. Tonight was the exception, he was a dick, but most of these guys are nice. They’re nice, they’re respectful, they seem to be interested in me, but none of them are what I want, none of them are,”

You have to stop. You have to get off this topic and off this train before you say something really and truly stupid and burn this newly restored friendship down to ash.

“Having high standards isn’t a bad thing,” He offers, “and Gyu sets the bar high for how you should treat a woman, I mean,”

“You think I’m talking about Mingyu?” You laugh sharply.

“He’s the best guy I know,” He starts to say and then the wheels start turning.

It happens fast, your absolute lightning quick strike to the match, but your poor decision making usually goes something like this. It makes you mad at first, his constant reference to your perfect brother, but then it all makes sense. Seungcheol really has no idea how you feel about him, as a person or otherwise. It doesn’t enter his brain that the guy who set your standards for men so high might be him, even after he drove illegally fast on wet roads just to come get you because he heard you cry. Up until the last year of your life where you tried to install some distance, he was always there. He was always your first call, always your last call too, and you could never really see anyone else while he was towering right in front of you. He’s never let you down and he doesn’t even know it.

“I can’t believe you,” The words slip out, and then you’re kissing him.

He takes a sharp inhale of breath at the way you collapse onto him, holding yourself up with one hand on his chest and the other on his neck, and his mouth is so warm. You press the first kiss tentatively, and then the second a little more insistently, and then you realize he hasn’t moved an inch and isn’t kissing you back in the least.

You fly backwards, your hand over your mouth, “Oh, god, I’m so sorry,”

He clears his throat and shifts, shaking his head, “It’s fine, don’t worry about it,”

“I can’t believe I just did that,” You blush scarlet, “I’m a mess, I’m so, so sorry, Cheol,”

“Really,” He avoids your eyes, “it’s fine, it was an emotional night, and you just said it yourself, living alone is lonely. We’re good,”

“I didn’t kiss you because I was sad,” You run a hand through your hair and slump back on the couch, “I kissed you because you were being a dumb ass,”

“I feel like you’re insulting me a lot tonight considering I just drove across town for you,” He’s not angry, not really, but he doesn’t let you off so easily, he never has.

“I kissed you because you’re the best guy I know,” You counter his words back, “and I’m sick of you always putting yourself down when-”

He yanks you forwards by your wrist, and this kiss is what you’ll count forever as the first one. He drags your body forwards as he leans back against the couch and kisses you hard, his tongue dipping past your lips this time, his breath mingling with yours.

You shift for better purchase, your chest and his flush together, and you moan softly against his lips when his hand slips lower on your waist.

He breaks the kiss, his forehead leaning against yours, “What the fuck are we doing?”

“I think they call it making out,” You manage, your heart beating fast like a bird.

“Jesus,” He shakes his head, “what are we doing?”

“Cheol,” You start, but he kisses you again, hungrier and hotter as he pulls you in.

You pant against his mouth, your brain exploding into little fireworks as his hands start to wander, and then he groans, “You feel so good,”

This is going somewhere fast, and with your hands twisted in the fabric of his t-shirt you swing your leg over his hips and let him wrap his arms around you.

“We should slow down,” You find yourself mumbling against his mouth, “but I don’t want to, I want you,”

He nods against you, his hands squeezing your thighs where they rest on either side of him, “I want you too,”

“We should talk more,” You manage as his kisses travel over your jaw.

“Later?” He asks, his hands dragging you closer, “God, that dress,”

“Yeah?” You’re breathless already.

“If I knew you were going to kiss me I would have peeled it off you,” He pants.

A moan gets caught in your throat, your hips jerking, nipples hardening against his chest as you throw yourself into another kiss.

“God,” He shivers.

“Cheol stay,” You can talk later, he’s absolutely right, and you beg him not to go between kisses, “please stay,”

Logic starts to pump through him at the implications of that, so much more than kissing comes with staying for the night and he starts to shake his head, but at the way you’re touching him he can’t quite tear his hands away.

“I should go home,” He murmurs against your mouth, fingers slipping underneath the hem of your t-shirt, “you’ve been drinking,”

“I had two drinks,” You connect your lips with his again, tongue dipping into his mouth, “like three hours ago,”

“Still,” He kisses you again despite his words, his hand now flat against the small of your back.

“I’m not drunk,” You pull yourself closer using his shoulders, “if you don’t want to kiss me, don’t kiss me, but don’t use that as an excuse,”

“I should go home,” He repeats, like saying it out loud might make his body follow his brain, but it doesn’t. All he does is tug you closer, your legs now fully splayed around his hips as he leans back against the couch and groans against your mouth.

“I should,” He starts again, whispered thoughts against your lips, but you push back from his chest and break your mouths apart.

“If you want to go so bad, go,” You pull your arms away from him, crossing them under your chest to hold yourself steady. Your nails press pinpricks into your palms.

“This isn’t about what I want,” His eyes soften in that tender way you love, and his hand cups your waist, thumb brushing a line over the deep curve of your hip.

“Why wouldn’t this be about what you want?” You press him, “Or about what I want?”

“Mingyu is my best friend,” He says, his mouth drawn into a sullen line, “and I never want to do anything that betrays his trust or hurts him in any way,”

“I’m not asking you to,” Your voice is small.

“Just,” He sighs, his head tipping backwards against the cushions and his hands slipping to rest over your thighs, “tell me something, okay? Be honest,”

“Okay,”

“Do you want me because you’re lonely and I’m here,” He asks, his eyes locked to the ceiling, “or do you want me because you want me?”

Your arms fall slack and you open your mouth to respond but he presses forwards.

“Because if this is a one time thing to make us both feel better,” He shakes his head, “I can’t do that, I have to go home.”

“Cheol,” You murmur, but he doesn’t lift his head. You reach for him, brushing a hand along his cheek and drawing his gaze back down from the ceiling to your face, “Seungcheol, look at me,”

“Yeah,” He finally follows your gaze.

“I love my brother, but this isn’t about him,” You tell him clearly, and you watch his lips part so he can cut in but you shake your head, “it isn’t. This is about us, and I’ve had a crush on you since I was fucking thirteen,”

He blinks, a grin breaking across his face, “You have?”

“Yeah,” You shuffle closer on his lap, “why do you think I disappeared? You started dating that girl and I just… it wasn’t my place to say anything, it’s not like you were mine, but,”

He brushes the hair back from your cheek as he nods, “It hurts to see the person you want with someone else,”

“Yeah,”

“And you wanted me?”

You nod, stroking his neck where your hand rests, “I just needed some space after that, I thought I could move on,”

“I know the feeling,” He smiles, his thumb tender against your jaw, “believe me,”

“I do,” You nod, “so believe me when I tell you I’ve wanted you for a long time and I don’t just want the one night,”

He sits frozen, his eyes studying your expression, and then he’s moving. Seungcheol pulls you down to meet his mouth again, hands roughly threading into your hair and gripping your hip as he tugs your bodies flush together. He kisses like you hope he fucks, passionate and a little messy, like his need to be inside you and consumed by you is more important than any vanity.

“God,” He groans against your mouth, “he’s going to kill me,”

“Probably,” You huff a laugh against his lips, rolling your hips forwards to slot your bodies together tightly, and at the feeling of his hardening cock pressed against your sex you can’t help the breathy moan that slips out.

He drops his hands to your hips, coaxing you into rolling them again as he presses upwards and you follow his guidance with ease. He curses softly and you roll your hips again, “Oh, fuck my fucking life,” he groans, kissing his way down your throat, “he’ll kill me, but you’re worth it,”

“I better be,” You tease him, tugging gently on his hair as he licks a stripe along your throat.

“Oh, you are,” He shifts back up to kiss your lips again, his mouth pillowy soft and hot against yours, “and I love Gyu, but,”

“Seungcheol,” You push on his shoulders.

His rarely used full name gets his attention and he leans back just enough to see your face, “What’s wrong?”

“Can you please stop talking about my brother while you’re trying to fuck me?” You can hear the whine in your own voice, “I need you right now, we’ll deal with him later,”

“Sorry, sorry,” He smiles, “of course, come here,”

You melt into him as he gathers you closer, his warm, rough hands finding new expanses of skin to touch and it’s strange but delicious to know that there are still brand new things you can learn about a person even after knowing them all your life. He gets soft beneath you like butter when you touch his ears, audibly groans when you grind against him, and gets breathier every time you kiss his neck. He’s not afraid to make little noises in your ear, to curse when you do something right or softly beg you to do something again.

With his mouth on yours and his hands exploring you, you’re just a shaky wet mess in his arms and he doesn’t even fully realize it yet, still so focused on studying your body with his lips, his tongue.

“Ch-Cheol,” You whine as his teeth nip at your pulsepoint, “baby,”

His hands tighten, sliding to cup your backside through the thin fabric of your lounge pants, “Say that again,”

“Baby?”

He exhales hot air across your neck and chest, “God, I like that,”

“You hate pet names,” You sigh, remembering how his nose always crinkled in an uncomfortable scrunch when he heard people getting too coupley.

“No, I don’t,” His hand slides up, tucks under the waistband of your pants, and slides back down to feel your skin, “I hate cringey shit. You calling me ‘baby’ while you’re grinding on my dick isn’t cringey, it’s fucking hot,”

“Ah,” You tug his hair just a little, rolling your hips again, “yeah? Like this?”

His hips jolt up, pressing his cock against your clothed mound and he groans, “Say it,” he nips at your neck again and then pushes you backwards so that you’re sitting up straddling his lap, “and let me see you,”

For a brief flickering second you feel shy, another stark moment of awareness that the man between your thighs is Mingyu’s best friend, but it flashes away the minute you see his smile. He’s looking up at you like you invented the sun and you think it just might make you dizzy enough to say yes to anything he could ever ask of you.

“God,” His eyes rake over you, “you’re so fucking pretty,”

Blush creeps up your chest, “Yeah, baby?”

He swallows hard, his hands coasting up your arms and his eyes coming to rest on the heavy swell of your chest, “The prettiest.” His fingers tuck underneath the straps of your tank top and your bralette and he glances up to your face, “Can I see?”

“Please,” You whisper.

He moves slowly, peeling down the straps from each of your shoulders first, letting the thin fabric of your tank top droop down your arms until he’s left with just the stretchy elastic of your black bralette. His fingers trace your curves, the pad of his thumb ghosting over one of your hardening nipples until it pushes into a firm peak under the fabric.

“Cheol, please,” If he doesn’t touch you soon you’re going to be a squirming mess.

“Relax,” He toys with the strap, “we’ve got all night,”

You gasp as he dips forwards, peeling the front of your top down entirely until your breasts spill out of the elastic fabric. His lips connect with your skin, tongue exploring intimate parts of you in ways you’ve never experienced quite like this with anyone else.

“These,” He cups your full breasts in his hands, kissing along each swell, “are perfect, princess,”

You shiver at that, whining in his grip as he traces his tongue down and ghosts it close to your nipple, but you smile and manage, “I really took you for an ass man,”

“I’m an everything man where you’re concerned,” He flicks his tongue experimentally across the hardened bud and hums softly when you jolt in his arms, “so excuse me if I have to slow down and show my appreciation,”

This crush is going to kill you, that’s the thought that gets instantly banished from your brain the second Seungcheol wraps his lips around one nipple while his fingers pinch the other, setting a steady pace of sucking and teasing that is sure to leave pleasured little bruises.

“Oh,” You grip his shoulders, “oh, Jesus, Cheol,”

“Feel good, baby?” He switches sides smoothly and sucks again.

A jolt of pleasure rocks from your chest to your untouched clit and you rock down, trying desperately to press your aching center against anything for a little friction.

“Yeah?” He prompts you gently.

“So, so good,” You nod, rolling again, “but I need more, please,”

He nods against your chest, pressing one more kiss to your breastbone before he says, “y/n, I don’t want to move too fast or anything, we’ll do whatever you want, but,”

“But what?” You’re about a second from pushing his hand into your underwear yourself.

“Can I eat you out?”

Your stomach flips, “Oh, fuck yes,”

You’re on your back practically the second you give him permission. He holds you tight to his chest as he pushes himself up off the couch and flips you around, dropping you back onto the cushions and tugging at your clothes. Normally you’d be a little self conscious, especially in the brighter light of your living room and not the dim strategic lightning of your bedroom, but Seungcheol keeps looking at every inch of your body like he’s starving for it, groaning in pleasure at every inch of you that gets revealed, and you’re starting to think he really does like everything about you.

You help push off your pants with shaky hands, but let him loop his thumbs under the thin straps of your underwear and tug those free, a slick wet patch in the middle where you’ve been soaking through the cotton for the past half hour. You help him with your top, until finally you’re completely bare and he’s pushing you to lie back onto the extended length of the chaise while he falls to his knees before you.

“Wow,” He breathes, his hands running along your thighs, “just… wow,”

“Stop,” You can’t stop the blush now, and you fight the urge to reach for a blanket or cross your arms over yourself at his exacting gaze.

“Nope,” He dips his hands to your inner thighs and pushes your legs apart little by little, “I’m going to enjoy every bit of this,”

“Now you’re just trying to embarrass me,” You smile.

His tongue darts out to wet hips lips and he shakes his head, “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted this,”

Your stomach churns, flipping nervously as he looks at you so earnestly.

“I’m serious,” He kisses your knee as he opens one of your legs wider, “I’ve thought about this a thousand times, but you’re so much better than my imagination,”

“Cheol,” You whisper tightly.

“Mm,” He sighs as he tips your hips back, maneuvering your legs wide and open now and shifting your hips to the very edge of the couch so he can tuck smoothly between your open legs, “I wonder if you taste as sweet as I imagined too,”

Your fingers grip down on the cushions, your heart hammering in your chest.

“Look at you,” He sighs pleasantly, his fingers ghosting along the edge of your lower lips, “is all this for me, baby?”

“Uh-huh,” Your breath hitches as his finger just barely touches your seam.

“You got this wet just from grinding on my lap?” He smiles, his teeth catching his thick bottom lip.

“Cheol,” It’s all you can manage, you really didn’t know he was like this.

His eyes soften up though at the sound of his name on your lips, and he kisses your thigh tenderly before looking back up to you, “Doing good? Okay?”

“Mhm,” You’re fine, you are, except you think you might come the second he touches you and you’re a little terrified at just how intense he is from minute one.

“y/n,” He squeezes you a little.

“I’m good,” You breathe, “I promise,”

“Okay,” He kisses your skin again and nods, “just relax, okay?”

“I’m relaxed,” You answer too quickly and one of his eyebrows goes high.

“Mhm,” He eases up on his knees a little to see your face better and smooths his hand from your leg to your hip to your stomach, “what’s going on?”

“This is just a little surreal,” You admit, “isn’t it?”

“Yeah,” He releases your legs and shifts up so he can lean over your body, catching your mouth again in a soft kiss, “it is, but do you trust me?”

“Of course,” You kiss him back.

“Then you should know,” He nuzzles your nose with his, “that all I want to do right now is make you come on my face until you can’t think, and after that if you still want to take this further we can, but baby, I really don’t care what we do tonight. I just want to be with you,”

Your mouth runs dry, and you can feel your core throbbing hard between your legs, your heart fluttering fast.

“So, please, can I make you come?” He smiles, pressing another quick kiss to your lips, “I think you want me to,”

“Yes,” The nervous knots in your stomach release, “please, Coups,”

His nose scrunches as he laughs, kissing his way down your chest, “It’s Coups now?”

“Cheol,” You whine, “you’re stalling,”

“It’s called foreplay,” He licks a firm line between your breasts and moves lower, “have you not been getting fucked right, princess?”

“F-fuck,” Your back arches as his lips travel down over your belly, eyes slipping closed, “Seungcheol,”

He shakes his head, his hair brushing against your skin, “No more baby?” He makes a sulky noise with his tongue against the back of his teeth, “Come on princess, call me baby,”

Your mind is spinning, and you gasp sharply as his fingers finally slide through your wet slit and land at the apex, pressing deliciously down over your throbbing clit, “Ch-Cheol, fuck, oh fuck, baby,”

“There she is,” He groans, and as his fingers fall away and his lips take their place. He licks a deep stripe through your folds and groans, spreading your legs open wide with his hands anchored on the backs of your thighs, “You’re perfect,”

You moan as he sucks the tender bud of your clit into his mouth.

“I’m going to do this everyday,” He pants, licking another stripe, exploring every inch of your cunt with his tongue, “you’ll be my dessert every night,”

“Ah,” Your head rocks back as pleasure lights up your spine, “baby,”

“Mm,” He groans into your core, burying his face against you and alternating perfectly between sharp sucks and flicks of his tongue.

You are moving fast, from nothing to desperate something in the span of a couple of hours, but honestly you’ve never felt safer and better and more held than this. His hands roam your body, seeking every soft place he can grab and squeeze and hold onto, and you just know the bruises on your hips will be worth it when he finally fucks you.

“Come on,” He tips your hips back to get better access, wrapping his arms around your thick thighs, “don’t be shy,”

“Oh, shit,” Your hand flies down to grip his hair and anchor your position as he manhandles you, your other hand gripping the cushions, “just like that,”

He sucks harder and flicks the tip of his tongue against your bud again, quickening his pace and listening carefully for your sounds to know what you need. Looking down between your legs you can barely believe the sight, but there he is, Choi Seungcheol with his face glistening. His lips are puffy and red, his eyes hooded, and he grins when he sees you watching before nodding just a little and redoubling his efforts.

Your legs are trembling now, the start of your orgasm building up through the base of your spine and flooding warmth into your belly, and if he wasn’t holding you so tightly you’re sure you’d snap.

“Baby,” You whine, your voice sounding not quite your own as heat floods in your chest, “oh, God, please don’t stop,”

He sucks hard, shifting to kiss your core and push the tender muscle of his tongue inside you, “I’ve got you,” he pants as he works his tongue faster, “I’ve got you,”

He’s a mess, wet with slick across cheeks and sweat on his brow, and you think for a split second you might actually be in love with this man already, no one has ever, ever treated your body quite like this. As he shifts to tease your clit again, building the pleasure up and up higher, you grip down on his hair harder.

“I’m,” You stammer out, your back arching and your mouth falling slack, “I’m gonna,”

He nods into you but doesn’t stop the pace of his tongue one bit.

“I’m,” You gasp again, “coming, fuck, I’m coming,”

It hits you all at once, punctuated with his sharp suck to your clit and your legs snap shut around his head, your body wrenching sideways as the wave takes you from conscious to that hazy middle space of pleasure. You can barely breathe, you can't even think, all you can do is feel pulse after pulse of pleasure.

“Fuck,” He curses, and your brain connects enough to realize your legs are still snapped tightly shut around his ears but you can’t get your body to respond, “yeah, fuck, there you go,”

Everything you are is trembling in his hands.

“I could fucking die happy,” He says, shifting to nip your plush thigh with his teeth, his hands gripping down on your curves, “right here between your legs,”

You make a sound, you think, and he chuckles against your skin.

“Mm-mm,” He sighs pleasantly, his hands running from your thighs to your hips and down to cup your backside, “you’re fucking gorgeous, y/n, I love every fucking inch of you,”

“Y-yeah?” Your eyes flutter open.

“Mhm,” He flicks his tongue over your clit once more, eliciting a deep shudder from your hips before he says, “I can’t wait to fuck you,”

Your legs start to relax, and you look down, “Then fuck me,”

“I want another first,” He shakes his head, “please, let me make you come again, sweetheart,”

“Oh,” You shiver as he kisses your slit again, letting his tongue linger, “fuck,”

He sighs, “This pussy,”

“Cheol,” You blush hard.

“I would do anything,” He smiles, flicking your clit again with his tongue, “for this perfect fucking pussy,”

“Anything?”

He goes still between your legs and then he nods, wetting his lips with his tongue, pressing a kiss to your quivering cunt, and looking up over your body to meet your eyes, “Anything.”

“Will you come up here?” You reach for him, “Will you hold me?”

He eases your legs down off his shoulders and shifts up, “Yeah, of course,”

“Will you,” You nearly come again just at the sight of a sizeable wet spot on his sweats, and you tug at his shirt to try and silently communicate your need, “I want to touch you too,”

“Mhm,” He stands up, shucking off his clothes as quickly as he can, and when he pushes down his boxer briefs your muscles clench.

When you were younger, a teenager inexperienced with sex and boys, you imagined his cock. You saw the faint outline of it once through a pair of athletic shorts and you wondered what he might look like naked. You wondered if you would like his body. You wondered if he would like yours too. You can’t really remember what you imagined Seungcheol’s cock to look like, but you know this is better. It’s long, but not too long, like the guys who can’t fit it in all the way without smashing painfully into your cervix, but it’s thick. His cock is heavy, deserving of the word, and perfectly straight until the very end where it curls up towards his abdomen.

You want him inside you so badly you could cry.

“You okay?” He says as he slides up the couch next to you, your naked hip against his.

“A little nervous,” You admit quietly, turning towards him on the cushions and drawing him closer with your hand on his shoulder.

“Me too,” He says softly, maneuvering until one arm is wrapped around your back and your head is pillowed on his other, your chests flush against each other, his cock trapped between your stomachs.

“God,” You shift closer to him, tangling your legs together, “you’re so hard,”

He nods, sighing at the way your skin drags against his, “You’re making me insane,”

“Good,” You smile, finding his lips with yours, tasting yourself on him and dipping your tongue into his mouth as you deepen the kiss.

He groans against you, and you snake a hand between your bodies to wrap around his aching cock. “Oh, fuck,” he curses as you pump your hand up and down his shaft, “easy, it’s been a while,”

“Yeah?” You soften your grip a little, rolling your hand at the tip and feeling precum bead up and smear on your belly, “Saving yourself for me, baby?”

He moans softly, his eyes rolling shut, “You’d like that wouldn’t you?”

“Maybe,” You kiss the corner of his mouth and pump his cock a little harder.

“L-let me touch you,” He pants, his hand pushing your hips back just enough so that he can fit a hand in between your thighs, “can I touch you?”

It’s dizzying how much he begs to pleasure you, and you’re starting to think maybe this is part of what he needs, but you’re still new to each other’s bodies and learning and you suppose you’ll have time to figure all of this out. It’s not just a one night thing.

“Touch me,” You open your legs for him and he immediately slides his fingers down your slit to your aching entrance.

“Don’t stop,” He urges you and you realize at the feeling of his fingers you stopped pumping your hand.

You smile, kissing him again and finding a new pace with a stroke of your hand and a roll of your wrist, “You feel so good, baby,”

“So do you,” He pants, and then he pushes two fingers inside your slick walls.

You choke out a wine, pushing your hips forwards into his hand so he can go deeper.

“God,” He holds you firm with his other hand, “you’re too tight,”

“Too tight?” You huff, still working your hand over his cock, “never gotten that complaint before,”

“Not a complaint, princess,” He teases, drawing his fingers out of your channel before thrusting back inside, “but I need to prep you a little, I don’t want to hurt you,”

Your muscles clench down around his fingers.

He laughs softly, “Oh, yeah, babygirl? You want me inside?”

You nod, a whine trapped on your lips, “Cheol, please,”

“Shh, shh,” He shifts, effectively sliding down the couch a little more while you slide up, and he rests his head on your shoulder and adjusts the angle of his arm so he can pump his fingers in and out of your channel at a steadier pace. He watches the way his fingers disappear inside you with rapt attention, cursing when he feels you grip down on him, “You want to come again?”

“P-please,” You’re doing your best to keep working your hand, but at the way his fingers are curled inside you and pressing rhythmically against your sweet spot you think you’re about to see stars again.

“Fuck, baby,” He sighs, “you’re so sexy,”

All you can do is moan, grip down on his shoulder and let him have you.

When he pushes in a third finger to stretch you, you gasp tightly at the sensation, the pleasure rocketing up your back and making your brain buzz.

“Are you close?” He pumps his hand harder, finding your nearby nipple with his tongue and your body arches again.

“Close,” You pant, your legs widening as you try to brace yourself, your hand falling away from his cock and gripping down on his thigh as the rolling wave of your orgasm starts to wash up over you.

“Come for me,” He’s gripping you hard, like you belong to him and he wants only to please you, and his words combined with the way his hands lay on you leaves you coming apart at the seams.

The sound of it is obscene, wet and filthy and pornagraphic and you’ve never in your life had sex with someone for the first time and had it be anything close to perfect. Your bodies want each other with such need. It's entirely outside your conscious brain, and you think if he can love your body like this then maybe he can love all the other parts of you, and you never want to let him go.

Your orgasm hits you harder than the first, locking your body up in spasmodic elation, and he curls around you when you twist to make sure he works you through the crest of it, his hand only slowing down when the pulses of pleasure start to ease.

When you come back to earth, you’re pressed face down onto the couch instead of up, your cheek against the cool fabric below you. Seungcheol is wrapped around your body like he’s glued to your back, and you feel his soft breath against your cheek and shoulder, his easy kisses on whatever part of you he can reach. His hand is still tucked underneath you and between your legs, cupping your cunt warmly and just holding you as you come down.

“Cheol?” You murmur, your brain almost a little foggy at the heady feeling of two full body orgasms.

“Hey, there you are,” He kisses you again, “feeling okay?”

“Mm,” You nod, “so, so good,”

He smiles, “Yeah? Did I get you?”

You laugh against the cushions, shaking your head, “Babe, I just came so hard I blacked out,” your body stretches, pressing your core into the cup of his hand, “you definitely got me,”

“Mm,” He rocks his hand and you sigh a little overstimulated sound, “should we stop here?”

He doesn’t know, you realize it suddenly, he has no idea how badly you want him. He’s been so focused on your body, your pleasure, your wants, but you can see it now in the hesitation in voice that he still doesn’t know for sure if you want to be here with him or if you just wanted someone.

He’s been touching you like it might be the only time, his only chance to have you and hold you in his arms. Didn’t he believe you when you said it wasn’t one night?

“Seungcheol,” You wriggle in his arms, “baby,”

“What’s wrong?” He gives you the space to roll and you twist against him.

You see his eyes when you turn, like he’s waiting for something and you curse yourself inside for not telling him like he was telling you. You smile, pushing his shoulder until he’s flat on his back, “What’s wrong is that you’re not inside me,”

“O-oh,” He gasps as you hook a leg over his hips and straddle him, your body hovering over his prone cock.

“Mhm,” You drop your body over him, your slick slit nestling directly over his cock, “but I’ve been so selfish,”

He shakes his head to protest but you lay your fingers over his lips to stop him.

“I want you, Cheol,” You drag your hips and find the head of his cock so you can dip and press it against your entrance, “so fucking much,”

He’s breathing heavy against your hand, your eyes locked on eachother.

“Do you understand what I’m saying?” You stay steady above him.

He nods, just a little.

“I’ve never wanted anybody like I want you,” You tell him, “never,”

His lip quirks a little, a small smile as he presses a kiss to your fingers, “I’m all yours,” he whispers.

You sink your hips back in one smooth flush motion, taking him inside you to the hilt without warning, and his head falls back as he moans. He’s stretching you out wide and full, his thick cock pushing into every spot inside you that you didn’t know could feel like this.

“Oh my fuck,” Your body moves on it’s own, rocking your hips in a circle to take him deeper and roll your clit across his pubic bone, “Cheol, Cheol,”

He blinks hard, finding your eyes at the sound of his voice, “Yeah?”

You feel strangely like you might cry at the rush of endorphins, and you roll your hips again, whining out a need, “Hold me, please? Please, touch me,”

Seungcheol softens, his hands unclench on the cushions below him and he coasts his warm hands over your thighs, your hips, up and down your sides, “I’m right here,” he murmurs.

You relish in the feeling of it, and you direct them from their wandering comfort to a landing place on your hips, the perfect soft place for him to grip in with his fingers and keep you steady while you work him. He follows your lead, watching you above him with no hesitation, and his mouth falls slack when he watches you get your position right on your knees and lift up to draw his cock out of your warm, wet channel.

“y/n,” He pants tightly.

You sink back down hard and he groans, cursing and no doubt leaving a pretty bouquet of bruises where his fingers press down.

“Your cock,” You moan as you bounce again, finding a steady rhythm, “you feel so perfect,”

“Yeah?” He bounces you, teeth clenched as he tries not to come too early.

“Made for me,” You grind down and jolt against the pleasure, “never felt something this good,”

He groans, a hot pant of breath and then he stutters his hips upwards, “D-don’t, I’ll come,”

“Good,” You sink down and back up, feeling him stretch you open again and again.

“Come here,” He reaches up for you, tugging you down by your neck to get you close and you can feel him suddenly reposition and change the angle, take back control as he pins you to his chest and pumps his hips.

The way his cock punches into you, curved and pressing directly into your g-spot, makes you choke out a moan and dig your nails into his chest.

“Say you love my cock,” He pants suddenly in your ear, “if it feels so good, say it, tell me,”

You moan sharply, “I fucking love your cock,”

“Fuck yes,” His hand claps down on your ass and grips you tight as his hips piston upwards.

“Ah, ah,” Your legs are trembling again, “I can’t,”

“Yes, you can,” He pants, “I want to feel you come on my cock, babygirl, squeeze me,”

Your eyes slam shut.

“So fucking tight,” He breathes, “so wet,”

“For you,” You choke out and hips stutter.

“Oh, f-fuck,” He pushes up hard, but instead of thrusting he locks his hips there with your bodies pressed flush together and at the sound of his sudden moan, the way his hands lock tight on your body, the way warmth floods your belly, you know he’s coming.

Your brain somersaults and you rock your hips, trying to keep catching the friction against your clit to help push you over the edge, “Ah,” you whine, “no, please,”

He doesn’t go anywhere though, he just presses his hips up to keep giving you the pressure you need and holds your hips down with his broad hands, and you hear him hiss at the overstimulation but he groans and manages, “Come baby, you’re so close, there you go, there you go,”

You’re saying something, but you can’t really hear it. All you can feel is the bubble about to burst inside you as you drag yourself fast and frantic against his body. You’re needy and seconds away, falling into trembles again.

“So beautiful,” He mumbles, dragging your mouth up to his and locking you in a heady kiss.

“Cheol!” You squeak against him, body cracking apart into shakes as you come, probably louder than you wanted to as you fall into the sweet space between his neck and shoulder.

“I’ve got you,” His softening cock slides out as you come, but he slides a hand between your thighs and rubs fast circles on your swollen clit, “fuck, look at you, god, you’re such a mess,”

Your brain is dizzy as he talks you through the edges of your orgasm.

“So wet,” He bites down softly on your shoulder, “soaked for me and full of my cum, fuck,”

As you collapse on his chest, your orgasm receding, his hand slows, but his fingers stay slipped between your folds in the messy mixture of your slick wetness and his release. You are a mess, but he seems to like it and if you’re benign honest so do you.

“I’m so,” You breathe out, shaky and exhausted, “god, I don’t know,”

“Mhm,” He sighs, and finally he slides his fingers out of you to rest on your hip, his other hand stroking a line up and down your back while you recover together.

You need to get up, run to the bathroom and get the shower started, but you’re boneless and floating and he’s just the perfect temperature, so for a little while you don’t move.

When he shifts his hips under yours to readjust your eyes pop open and you start to move, “Am I hurting you?”

“Shh,” He wraps his arms around you and gathers you tight to his chest, “don’t you dare go anywhere,”

“Yeah?”

“You’re perfect,” He repeats and you smile against his skin, “next time I want you sitting on my face,”

You laugh against him, “Next time?”

He’s quiet, his fingers still dragging up and down your spine, “If you want,”

You shift up in his arms, settling on his chest so that you can see his face, “So much,”

He cups your cheek, brushing his thumb along your face, as he smiles, “I missed you, you know,”

Tears prick at the back of your eyes and your throat goes thick, and you don’t trust your voice but you nod and press your lips to his, “I missed you too, all the time,”

He gives you a moment, just staying calm and kind with his hands, and then he leans up to capture your lips once more, this kiss so much softer and more familiar from the frantic emotion a few minutes ago. His kisses travel from your lips to your forehead and then he smooths back the tangled mess of your hair, “We should get cleaned up,” he murmurs, “how are you feeling?”

“Like I might not ever walk again,” You joke wryly.

“I didn't hurt you, did I?” He leans to look you over, “I got a little carried away,”

You shake your head, “No, I’m perfect, I promise,”

“We didn’t talk much beforehand,” He notes, brushing his palm over the swell of your hip, dipping at your hip crease, and tracing up over again at the curve of your thigh, “I just want to be sure you’re feeling okay with everything,”

“I’d tell you if I wasn’t,” You press, “you know I would,”

“Good,” He sighs.

You stretch on top of him, your knees aching from your curled position and you smile, “You want to get a shower? We can share the hot water,”

“You’re insatiable,” He quirks an eyebrow at you.

“Not for sex,” You slap his chest lightly as you climb off him, wincing at the sudden stretch of your knees, “I can barely move,”

“I like a challenge,” He sighs, rolling off the chaise and stretching long and you catch yourself watching the strong flex of his back, the cut of his shoulders, the curve of his ass and his muscular thighs.

Maybe you could rally.

Seungcheol turns and his eyes flick over your body too, “Yeah,” he nods, “I think I can get one more out of you,”

“My shower is shockingly small, so,” You reach for him, guiding him down the hall with you, “we’ll see,”

“I said I like a challenge,” He shrugs, and all of a sudden you can’t stop laughing.

Your shower is small, but in the end it doesn’t matter. Seungcheol ends up crouched on his knees anyways, with one of your legs hitched over his shoulder while he takes his sweet time with his tongue bringing you up to your softest, easiest orgasm of the night. You trade lazy kisses in the warmth after, the suds long gone and your fingers pruned by the time you fall into bed.

You don’t have to ask him to stay, he just does. You talk for as long as you can keep your eyes open, stories of years ago when you saw him almost every single day. You whisper late into the night, until finally he falls asleep first, his head lolled to the side, but his hand still wrapped tightly around yours.

You tumble into sleep right alongside him, his skin smelling of sweet peach and nectarine.

In the morning, you wake up to something cold suddenly pressed to your cheek and you start to stitch together the world around you in quick threads.

“Kkuma,” Seungcheol’s voice reaches you first, a hushed whisper as he tries to get his dog’s attention, “come here girl, let her sleep,”

You groan a little, and you realize the something cold was Kkuma’s very wet nose against your cheek. Instead of listening to Seungcheol, she presses her nose to you again and follows it up with a lick, her panting excitement pushing you from laying on your side to your back as she collapses over your chest.

“Kkuma!” He exclaims quietly, “down girl!”

Your eyes start to pop open, and this time you see his dog’s fluffy white face inches from your own, delighted that you’re awake.

“Kkuma,” He tries to drop his voice to a lower tone to get her attention.

“It’s okay,” You yawn, reaching up to scratch Kkuma behind the ears, “I’m awake now,”

“I’m sorry,” Seungcheol moves into your bedroom, and you can see he’s fully dressed and has been for some time, “I didn’t think she would just jump on you like that,”

Your brain is still a little sluggish and you rub your hand over your face, “Did you go home?”

He grins and nods at your sleepy question, the answer obvious from the dog on your chest, “Yeah, I needed to run home and take her for a walk, I hope you don’t mind I let myself back in,”

“Not at all,” You smile up at him, “I’m just sad you’re not in the cuddle pile,”

“We can fix that,” He tosses his beanie on your nightstand and then holds up a little carrier containing two coffees and a few little pastry bags, “and I bring gifts,”

“From that place by your apartment?” You brighten, recognizing the stamped logos on the cups.

“Mhm,” He passes over your cup, “sugar, no cream,”

“You remembered,” You push yourself up in bed, Kkuma adjusting herself to snuggle into your side, and accept the cup, “thank you,”

He lays his heavy denim jacket on the chair by your dresser and slips back into bed with you, dragging the covers back over both your legs, “Of course, I did, not that much could have changed in a year, right?”

“Mm-mm,” Your legs slide together as you tuck under his arm and settle back into his chest.

His fingers play with the ends of your hair while he sips his coffee, and then he sighs, “y/n,”

Your stomach freezes and you wonder if you’re about to get let down easy. If waking up in the morning cleared his head, if a text from Mingyu changed his mind, if on the trip back to his place he worked out the right way to break your heart, if he practiced it out loud in his car with the dog.

“What’s up?” You say, hoping you sound far more casual than you feel.

“About Gyu,” He exhales heavy, his coffee leaning against his thigh as he gathers his words, “listen,”

“Don’t,” You murmur, pressing your eyes closed, “please don’t go,”

“Go?” He asks.

“I’ll tell him, and I know he’ll be fine after the shock wears off,” You twist in the bed to look up at him, “please just stay, last night was… Cheol, please just think about this,”

His brows knit together tight in confusion and he sets his coffee on your bedside table to free up his hand and brush it along your cheek, “I was going to say, about Gyu, I’m meeting him for lunch at two. I’d like to tell him about us today,”

“You what,” You blink.

“I’d like to tell him that I picked you up after your date,” He says, “and that we got to talking, and that we kissed,”

You can almost see Mingyu’s wide puppy eyes as he realizes where the story is going to go.

“And that I asked you out on a date,” Seungcheol finishes, “and he’s going to ask me a lot of other questions which I definitely am not going to answer, except one thing,”

You swallow nervously, your coffee almost tipping to the side forgotten in your hands until he plucks it up and sets it to the side.

“He’s going to ask me if I’m serious about you,” He says calmly, like you’ve discussed this before, “and I’m going to say yes, but that’s the kind of thing you should know before your brother does.”

“You’re serious about me,” You say it back, your heart picking up as the words come off your tongue.

“Yes,” He nods, unequivocal, “and I hope you feel the same way because before I drive across town and tell my best friend I’m in love with his sister, I just need to know if you feel even a tenth of that,”

Your heart should be pounding, your stomach fluttering, your body flooding with emotion at the casual confession, but all you feel is calm. Mingyu told you once that life would fall into place, you just never thought you’d have that realization while it was happening around you.

You try to keep a straight face when you say, “There’s only one problem,”

“Okay,” He says, but you watch his hand fidget in his lap.

“You never actually asked me out on a date,” You point out with a smile, “and I don’t want to lie to Mingyu about anything,”

He grins, his tongue dragging against one side of his teeth as he shakes his head in disbelief, “You’re right,” he says, “that’s my mistake, will you go out with me?”

“I’d love to,” You lean into him so you can press a quick kiss to his lips and take his hand in yours, lacing his anxiously twitching fingers with yours to hold him steady, “and if Gyu gives you any lip about this,” you kiss him again, “tell him I’m in love with his best friend,”

“You are?” His fingers tighten on your hand.

“Mhm,” You suddenly can’t keep your lips away from his, “and you tell him that if he does anything to ruin this, that I’ll make him sorry,”

“Now that,” He laughs, “that I believe,”

You pull him down to you and your body without another word, and with a hushed apology he pushes Kkuma off the bed so he can splay you out in the middle of the mattress. He takes you fast, hurried and full of need now that you have so much time ahead of you for slow. For now, you have a lot of catching up to do.

When you finally make it out of bed the coffee is cold and Seungcheol is late for lunch.

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