#chuck niles

[fitsofgloom]

"Look, what kind of a creep joint is this?!"

[dirtyoldmanhole]

hit 13k on the gunter x fcorrin slow burn \o/

my god, writing corrin and gunter having to go up to leo's desk to break the news of "~their personal decision~" (aka hooking up), and then niles crashing the party with the SMUGGEST grin (he knows) (leo also already knows through him) is SO MUCH FUN

edit, fuck it, here's the unedited scene. :D

In another world, Gunter would have been happy to serve the little blonde prince.

For all of his deliberately veiled darkness that he shared with iago's mages, the princeling's eyes were wide and bright with clarity and the awareness of what it took for decency to survive in the too-cruel world. it was reassuring, to such an old knight, that someone so full of youth would also not be disheartened at what it took to retain such goodness in the world. Or be too averse to the sordid methods that it took -- blood would always be paid one way or another.

As it was, his soul was already purchased by others. Not for the first times, with the princeling's intent looks at him, he wondered if Prince Leo knew more than his lover did.

"Sit down, please. Tea?"

Gunter saw Corrin struggle with the barest imperceptible grin in the corners of her mouth. He nudged her bare foot with his boot.

"No thank you, Brother, this should be short." She took a breath, steeling herself like girding herself for battle. "This will be quick, but important, and we think you might already be aware, of - um."

Gods, she was adorable. And he would also need to work on her directness.

"-A personal decision, my lord." He added diplomatically with an inclined nod of respect.

Leo glanced briskly between the two of them, like he had a foul headache, and that he would like nothing more than to be elsewhere.

"Yes, I'm unfortunately aware. And?"

Corrin made a strangled little noise.

"And?!"

"What Master Leo is saying, hello to you two, by the way - is nothing escapes his attention through the likes of such dastardly rouges as myself and his retainers."

Niles, god damn him, was leaning against a column behind the princeling's desk with the smuggest shit-eating grin that Gunter had ever seen the brat have.

Hmph.

"Princess, you have exotic tastes to be sure, but rest assured my Prince already knew after our chats. Really, I could have saved you lovebirds a walk."

"… I need a moment."

"As amusing as all of this is," the utter sarcasm that dripped out of Leo's cutting words were truly impressive, for somebody so perfectly poised with a delicate teacup in his hand. "Please tell me that you have considered the political ramifications of such a … ill advised decision. We are at war, and while everyone's attention is turned elsewhere, they will not be distracted for long."

"We will cross that bridge when we get there." Corrin cut in with renewed confidence. Despite the ribbing, her eyes shown with steadiness.

"Brother, just like what we have done with every other decision that you and I also have made in the last weeks that would have been unthinkable a season ago ... please trust me, and us, with the same trust you have graciously given me all these times."

That's my girl. It was all Gunter could do not to beam with pride at her.

[professuntothelord]

i really would 250k word a post finale fix it with doom patrol. i truly would

[kimwexlers-brownhair]

Hot take: Jimmy and Chuck is the far more toxic and drama version of Frasier and Niles. They probably should never see each other again but they can’t help themselves.

Bahaha yes!! Holy cow, how have I never thought of that? Jimmy is a little more like Martin than Niles in tastes (drinking a bottle of beer while Chuck and Rebecca have glasses of wine), and there is that sense Chuck thinks Jimmy's a bit of a rube. So basically, BCS is like Frasier if Frasier's brother was a Niles/Marty combo, with both parents dead, and with all their brotherly hijinks ending in tragedy.

[jhl1031973]

Even Superheroes Face Challenges

You Can Read About Them In BACK ISSUE #146

I tend to be my own worst critic. However, I am extremely proud of my 25th article for BACK ISSUE, which came out Wednesday in issue #146.

"Everyday Challenges: Bronze Age Superheroes With Disabilities" looks at Daredevil, Professor Xavier, DOOM PATROL'S Chief, THE NEW TEEN TITAN'S Jericho and Barbara Gordon/Oracle as they face life head on without limitations. All this, and a look at real life heroes Lou Ferrigno and the late Christopher Reeve. Get your print and digital copies here, and leave a comment by clicking the "Ask Me Anything" button or mail me here or here. I wish to thank my beautiful and amazing wife Laura and our family of cats, dogs and humans for their infinite love and patience, J.M. DeMatteis, Chris Claremont, Marv Wolfman and Chuck Dixon for their quotes in the article, editor Michael Eury and TwoMorrows Publisher John Morrow for giving me the opportunity to discuss a subject so important to me.

Take care of yourselves, folks. Until next time, I wish you...

All The Best, James Heath Lantz

[mychameleondays]

George Harrison with Eric Clapton And Band: Live In Japan

double

Dark Horse/Warner Bros. 7599-26964-1

Released: 13 July 1992

[longliverockback]

George Harrison Live in Japan 1992 Dark Horse ————————————————— Tracks CD One: 01. I Want to Tell You 02. Old Brown Shoe 03. Taxman 04. Give Me Love (Give Me Peace on Earth) 05. If I Needed Someone 06. Something 07. What Is Life 08. Dark Horse 09. Piggies 10. Got My Mind Set on You

Tracks CD Two: 01. Cloud Nine 02. Here Comes the Sun  03. My Sweet Lord 04. All Those Years Ago 05. Cheer Down 06. Devil’s Radio 07. Isn’t It a Pity 08. While My Guitar Gently Weeps 09. Roll over Beethoven —————————————————

Eric Clapton

Ray Cooper

Nathan East

Steve Ferrone 

George Harrison

Katie Kissoon 

Chuck Leavell

Andy Fairweather Low

Tessa Niles

Greg Phillinganes

* Long Live Rock Archive

[constant-and-immovable]

Please tell me your serious thoughts on the Peter Pan crocodile!!

OH BOY. Alright. Okay. Hmmm

So there's a whole lot that I really can't disclose onto what I'm doing with it in The Novel because it plays a significant role in the prequel or sequel I'll tell my publisher I'm willing to write when they inevitably demand another installment, HOWEVER for the function of it as it exists within the story itself....

if I was directing a film or movie of it, I would want to keep it within semi-plausible parameters, but not make it a prehistoric croc.

It's a solid choice! To go with a living fossil like Sarcosuchus or Deinosuchus, because it's "real," but honestly...it's somehow less plausible than one that has simply managed to get to a fuck-off-big size.

Because yeah! I wouldn't want to be ANYWHERE near this thing!!! But I also don't think a kid chucking a hand in the water is going to be enough to bait one this size unless there's already blood/gore/bodies in the water that he's snapping at. True, this is not a story where logic prevails (hi, the acids in the guts of even a modern croc tend to destroy metals: jewelry, pieces of traps, animal tags, etc have all been found in them but VERY damaged/worn down. A clock is nothing, forget how you would hear it tick, it's just. anyway), however I'm not personally a fan of the "Somehow This Dinosaur Survived" genre of beasties, not when there are more things in heaven and in the earth.

SO.

Beyond the clock and the size, there is ...really nothing abnormal about it. The crocodile exhibits pretty standard behavior for a saltwater crocodile, the largest modern species (12-16ft is most common but some absolute monsters have measured in at nearly 20ft, and stories are everywhere about a mythic 25 ft)

If you grew up in the 1990s, you probably remember this guy wrangling them for tracking purposes. You can also see here what I was saying earlier: yes, they have an INSANE bite force, but their jaws aren't that tough otherwise--some rope, even around a big guy, is plenty to make the teeth less a concern. Then you just have to worry about their tails: solid muscle, which can propel them out of water like so:

Maybe he would have some more sympathy for the captain, given that he's also missing his right arm. If you've ever seen pictures of salties before, you've probably seen this one, or other pictures of him. This here is Brutus. He was, as of this image, estimated to be over 60 years old (!!!) and one of the largest living wild crocs. He's thought to have lost his arm to a bull shark when he was younger.

Bull sharks and salties do semi-frequently prey on each other: they both cross territories, though the sharks are primarily oceanic, and satlies (despite their names) are more common in rivers and brackish water. The reason they're called salties is that unlike most crocs, they CAN survive in saltwater. Again, we have a check in the box for old Tick-Tock, given that it seems to go inland on the island with some frequency.

If you've never seen a croc come out of the water before, it's Unnerving as hell. Watch any doc on the Nile, and you've seen a Nile croc (we'll get back to these) seemingly come out of nowhere and chomp onto a gazelle, but with salties it's somehow worse. The water just goes...still when they're gone. Like they were never there to start with.

Going off the book/play, a saltwater crocodile seems to be the most obvious, but again, we're running into size limitations. Reptiles never stop growing, and they certainly don't age the same way a mammal would, but they still do seem to have a lifespan under 100, and rarely break that 20ft limitation (with males typically getting larger than females of similar ages). It wouldn't be genetic impossibility to have one that had something going on in its DNA that made it BIG, at least not as unlikely as seeing a survivor from millions of years ago.

Plus, I do not care for the fact that the croc in the 2023 version seemed to eat anything that moved. It kind of defeats the purpose that this thing is after Hook specifically. And guess what? That's not impossible.

My only thing is...salties are my favorite, they're not related to dinosaurs but you look at this thing and the awe...

Look at him. He's a fucking dinosaur. The croc in the play/book/a film adaptation should, much like the ship, make you immediatley go "CROCODILE!" ...sleek, dangerous, fast, green, with fang like teeth. My brain always makes a crocodile green, and they're really not. None of them are. American alligators, the ones most prevalent in zoos when I was growing up in the US, are more often dark grey or even black looking in the water.

So that brings me back to this guy:

(that's a fish in its mouth, this individual is of a sane size)

The Nile crocodile. Confirmed man-eaters as well (I don't think I mentioned that, but salties are known man-eaters, there are some gnarly, tragic stories out there to complete with the grosses of shark attacks. Do not recommend research in this area), they're more known for this than their salty cousins. How much more well known?

Well. This guy is the responsible for more human deaths than we can even keep track of due to the remote locales they live. While I hate the idea of any wild animal being held up as villain, it's bonkers to me that we fear sharks as society rather than crocs since...Niles alone take down hundreds of people per year, instead of the 5-25 by all shark species combined.

True, they're freshwater beasties, but they can live in MILDLY brackish water. Its not something an animal can readily adapt to within its own life, but give a few generations to the ones that are currently invasive in Florida may eventually be able to cross to the Caribbean Islands.

They also have, and you can kind of see this in the skull structure, even weaker muscles for opening the jaws than salties.

You can put your hands around this thing's jaws (DO NOT. RECOMMEND.) and hold them shut.

More points in his box: Nile crocs had a uniquely nasty reputation in England following the Battle of the Nile in 1798, where crocs came rushing towards the violence and were picking off drowning and injured soldiers and eating bodies as they hit the water.

It was such a horrific sight that Nelson was presented with a gift sword that had one of the coolest design I've ever seen, though wildly impractical:

fabulous. look at that smile.

Anyway, the Nile Crocodile was the 'Jaws' of the mental menagerie of the Victorians. Barrie would have, when picturing a crocodile, very likely have been imagining one of these simply from how they became the stand-in for crocodilia in public consciousness.

Now it does lose some points not just for the saltwater issues, but because they only hit get around 15 ft, and Barrie's monster was big enough to eat a man whole even with some difficulty. In his notes for a silent film, he intended this be be shown on camera and it was frankly more traumatic than the 2003 film ending, of a mere snap of the jaws.

Side note: the 2003 crocodile is still under 30 ft, as is the 1953 one, it's just the skull/mouth proportions that make them seem MUCH bigger. Just like with sharks, the jaws of even a 20ft individual are going to be a LOT smaller than most people imagine.

The 2003 one works well enough, despite not seeing it very much (I have a WHOLE other essay on that--most of the set/props of the film we only get in small glimpses, giving it a dream/memory like quality where you fill in the blanks of a lot of what you think you're seeing. the croc included) but I kind of hate it's cartoony face:

Genuinely, what the fuck is this thing even supposed to be. I appreciate that it looks almost demonic, an exaggeration of a crocodile--just as the ship was an exaggeration of a pirate ship, everything on the 2003 Neverland was taken to story-book extremes, making it seem all the more like a dream/tied to the imaginations of the kids.

MEANWHILE...Their concept art was better; this thing at least looks more like a croc than...whatever that thing was.

And of course the 1953 one is goofy, the entire movie was...well. Cartoony. The SyFy crocodiles fail to really drive home the scariest part of them, that they're intelligent enough to stalk an individual to the death, same as the 2023 one did: despite the whole "no one is safe from this thing" element that should raise the stakes, its just...not the same. [Though I HAVE seen an adaptation where the crocodile was after everyone but Peter and his friends, since it was HIS PET...the whole adaptation kept trying to keep the show from being too scary but ended up being one of the most disturbing Peters I'd ever seen].

All in all, despite the fact that I firmly believe a monster-sized Nile was the original vision, I'd be going with a salty, but the first time we see it, it would be covered in a slick of algae or weeds, giving it the green look everyone always pictures/draws/designs:

this isn't Brutus, but the guy on the left has a damaged right paw too--it's actually a fairly common sight on larger crocs, to see missing paws/damaged limbs from their various encounters with other predators, trespassing crocs, or boats/traps.

I had also put some thought into the possibility of a Cuban crocodile, American crocodile, and the Orinoco crocodile--the last of which may have once had expanded territory into the Caribbean, and historically had sailors claiming to see 20ft ones, although they typically measure smaller (and lighter) than salties today, under 15 ft.

Still, all this is irrelevant because peak character design for Tick Tock has already been reached:

I still haven't seen the movie, and I don't give a damn that this stupid thing was designed to sell toys, I have one that lives on my work desk and my evidence for why he's the superior Tick Tock is simply that he is the Bestest Boy.

(concept art by Sona Sargsyan, I didn't see a credit anywhere for the concept art/promo image of the 2003 one)

Look at him. If this thing gave me those eyes and asked for a snack I'd start cutting off pieces of the captain myself. I mean not really, that's a bit bloody but you get the idea.

[xjustakay]

(8/7) prompt: stimulate — 718 words (cheeky and ridiculous domestic boyfriends) @jegulus-microfic

Regulus appreciates the fact that Remus helped him get a job at the coffee shop after leaving home, really. It just so happens that said job has made him very aware of the fact that he has zero patience for stupid people. And, Jesus fucking Christ, do stupid people love their coffee. It’s been a long shift, to say the least, so he’s in a bit of a mood by the time he’s arriving home at his and James’ flat.

James greets him brightly, even goes so far as to click off whatever he’s been watching on the TV to give him his full attention. It’s the little things James does that always do the most to progressively lighten Regulus’ mood. It doesn’t work right away, though.

He grumbles his own unhappy greeting in return as he kicks off his shoes. He stomps to the laundry closet to chuck his dirty apron in the washing machine before finally returning to the living room where James waits on the couch. No stranger to these bouts of bitchiness from him, James smiles gently, dark brows lifted over his glasses.

“Bad day?” He asks.

Regulus scoffs before dropping gracelessly onto the couch, all lazy limbs and an agitated furrow in his brow. He lets James pull him by the hips, situating with his legs stretched out across James’ lap while he faces him, one of James’ arms curled around him. James turns to press a kiss against Regulus’ covered shoulder; a silent encouragement, a wordless comfort.

“I feel like I’ve lost fucking braincells today.” Regulus rolls his eyes with a huff. “Tell me something interesting about your day, I need more stimulating conversation.”

James grins crookedly, a dangerous glint in his hazel eyes as he leans in closer, drags his nose along the line of Regulus’ jaw. “I mean, I could stimulate you differently, if you like, love.”

Immediately, Regulus scowls, presses his palm directly into James’ face, knocking his glasses askew, and shoves him backward. “You actually just said that to me, like in all seriousness right now.”

James fully cackles at him and, despite his lingering annoyance, Regulus cannot deny how much his laugh remains one of his favorite sounds in the world. 

“It was just a suggestion,” James notes, head tilted against the back couch cushions to gaze adoringly up at him.

“You sound like a twat,” Regulus replies.

“Ooh, haven’t been called a twat in a while.” A smirk remains on James’ face as he takes to rubbing along Regulus’ lower back.

“Yes, well, I’m branching out on my insults for you.” Regulus flicks him gently in the center of his chest, earning a hummed out chuckle.

“Look at that, your brain cells are working just fine, after all.”

“Can’t say the same for yours.”

“Actually, my brain cells are concocting marvelous images at present.” James’ gaze drags downward obviously; slow along Regulus’ chest, lingering at his waist and lap, flickering over his outstretched legs. He bites at his lip as his focus shifts back up, eyes darkened notably.

Regulus snorts quietly, but it’s turned a little breathless. “You’re an idiot.”

“So you don’t want me to blow you, is what you’re saying?” James challenges.

“I have never been less attracted to you in my life right now after that line, so.” What a blatant fucking lie.

Hardly a day has gone by that Regulus hasn’t been turned completely inside out by his desire for James. James knows it, too. He’s completely unfazed by the biting remark and all its insincerity.

“How is the water in Egypt?” James lifts his eyebrows, meeting Regulus’ deadpan stare with far too much amusement. “Get it, because you’re in da Nile?”

Regulus blinks at him.

“Like denial, you know?”

Before Regulus can help it, the corners of his mouth twitch upward, a huff of a laugh escaping him. “God, I can’t believe I have sex with you.”

“Mm, worse yet, you love me, too.” James slides a hand up the line of Regulus’ spine, guides him to lean into him so that he can tilt up and press a slow, lingering kiss to his lips. Right against Regulus’ mouth, James murmurs, “Real tough spot for you, eh?”

But honestly, it’s the best ‘tough spot’ Regulus could ever find himself in.

[murasakiyugata]

Been thinking about what Wrightworth would be like as a Chuck Tingle book. This is what I've come up with:

Pounded in the Butt by My Rival Attorney Who Is Also a 20-Foot-Tall Mythological Fire Bird

Niles Worthedging is a ruthless prosecutor who has never lost a case.  That is, until he goes up against the new defense attorney in town – who also happens to be a 20-foot-tall bird monster once thought only to exist in legend.  It seems that no matter how many times Niles shoots down this foul fowl’s objections, the avian attorney will rise from the ashes and win another Not Guilty verdict.

What’s worse, since this creature is constantly engulfed in flames, there's an ever-present threat that he will unwittingly set a fire in the courthouse – and in Niles’ pants.  Burdened with unnecessary feelings, Niles must figure out what it truly means to be a gay prosecutor.

Will the warmth of their new romance be enough to melt Niles’ ice-cold heart?  Or will their relationship be too hot to handle?

This erotic tale features sizzling bird monster on prosecutor action, outdated autopsy reports, and accidental arson.

[honestlytastygayasstrash]

my fictional band JFKFC's biggest influences

(they are ranked from biggest to smallest but the ones at the bottom are still very important)

Bob Dylan

The Beatles

The Jimi Hendrix Experience

Aretha Franklin

Chuck Berry

Buddy Holly

Elvis Presley

Led Zeppelin

Carl Perkins

Little Richard

Fats Domino

Gene Vincent

Lonnie Donegan

Phil Spector

Ravi Shankar

Roy Orbison

The Isley Brothers

The Everly Brothers

Arthur Alexander

Eddie Cochran

Smokey Robinson

Larry Williams

The Shirelles

The Supremes

Little Willie John

The Marvelettes

The Shadows

Bill Haley

Buck Owens

Jerry Lee Lewis

Johnny Kidd & The Pirates

Bo Diddley

The Band

King Curtis

Carole King

Slim Whitman

Billie Holiday

Clara Ward

Dinah Washington

Mahalia Jackson

Ruth Brown

Sam Cooke

Sarah Vaughan

Big Maybelle

Sister Rosetta Tharpe

Willie Mae Ford Smith

Wynona Carr

Bessie Smith

Dorothy Love Coates

Ella Fitzgerald

Esther Phillips

James Cleveland

Johnny Ace

LaVern Baker

Ma Rainey

Nat King Cole

Nina Simone

Arizona Dranes

Blind Lemon Jefferson

Dave Van Ronk

Hank Williams

Rev. Gary Davis

Woody Guthrie

Allen Ginsberg

Bill Monroe

Blind Willie McTell

Cisco Houston

Hary Smith

Jimmie Rodgers

Leadbelly

Johnny Cash

Little Richard

Mississippi John Hurt

Odessa

Pete Seeger

Ramblin’ Jack Elliott

Bascom Lamar Lunsford

Clarence Ashley

Dock Boggs

Jesse Fuller

Robert Johnson

John Jacob Niles

Lefty Frizzell

The Carter Family

Victoria Spivey

Alan Lomax

Doc Primus

Doc Watson

Mississippi Sheiks

The Weavers

Roscoe Holcomb

George Gershwin

Percy Mayfield

Blind Boy Fuller

Josephine Baker

Frank Hutchison

Ewan MacColl

Billy Lee Riley

B.B. King

John Coltrane

The Yardbirds

Little Richard

Howlin’ Wolf

Muddy Waters

Cream

T-Bone Walker

The Impressions

Buddy Guy

Elmore James

Freddie King

Hubert Sumlin

Little Walter

Jimmy Reed

Lonnie Mack

Albert Collins

Bobby Womack

Curtis Mayfield

Earl Hooker

Esquerita

Johnny “Guitar” Watson

Ike Turner

Charley Patton

James Brown

Johnny Jenkins

Randy Hansen

Charlie Christian

Moby Grape

Fairport Convention

Otis Rush

Sonny Boy Williamson II

Willie Dixon

Anne Briggs

Bert Jansch

John Renbourn

The Creation

The Rolling Stones

Blind Willie Johnson

Davy Graham

Fleetwood Mac

James Cotton

Johnny Burnette

Memphis Minnie

Small Faces

Jake Holmes

Spirit

Tim Rose

Vanilla Fudge

[raedear]

if the past teaches us anything this "an au i won't write" is a dangerous game for you rae but ok I will play. joenicky modern au where they meet on a holiday trip by an accident and fall in love but also it is a murder mystery

stop I know, high risk high reward let's go

SO this would be a murder mystery where Nicky is accused of murder and he does have an alibi, only his alibi was Joe and what they got up to in Nicky's hotel room but OH NO when he woke up Joe was gone and now people are accusing him of murder and he doesn't even know who the victim is, is Joe dead??? Nicky never got his full name???? Joseph Keane could be him???? They don't have enough to arrest him yet but they're closing in-

and then from there it's a caper as everyone tries to either prove or disprove that Nicky is the murderer of a victim they're not even sure of. The evidence seems flimsy but a lot of people are convinced they saw Nicky do something to someone who then turned up dead, someone who might be Joe. Nicky, Quynh and Nile are increasingly freaking out and trying to plan whether fleeing or solving the murder is the better plan.

(Joe actually just split from Nicky's room because he forgot he agreed to go on a dawn hike with Andy and she wouldn't hesitate to drag him from Nicky's bed if he didn't get out of it first. He wanted to leave a note but he couldn't find a pen and Nicky's phone was dead so he couldn't get his number. He DID leave a message with the front desk for Nicky but all Nicky got from that was a phone call at 6am saying "had a great time, catch you later hot sauce" [for an artist Joe's handwriting leaves a lot to be desired])

Eventually in an AHA moment inspector Merrick (ACAB) will be like, MURDERER! YOU KILLED JOSEPH KEANE AT MIDNIGHT, ADMIT IT or whatever and Joe will wander in with Andy just in time still in their hiking gear like wtf he had me on my back at that time, do you want to see the bruises on my hips, they're sick. CCTV will also confirm Joe and Nicky got too close on the dancefloor in the restaurant and got politely chucked out at 23:15, got Inappropriately gropey in the lift at 23:26, and then fell over together in the hallway outside Nicky's room trying to kiss and open the door at the same time. Then no one leaves until Joe comes running out at 5:47am.

Keane actually fell off the dock, rip, the murder accusation thing was actually Merrick just trying to be a bastard. Nicky and Keane had a mostly polite disagreement over buffet line etiquette the morning prior ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[termiteterraceclub]

Termite Terrace Club - October 19th

1935 - Little Dutch Plate - Dir. Friz Freleng

1935 - Hollywood Capers - Dir. Jack King

1946 - The Mouse-merized Cat - Dir. Robert McKimson

1963 - Mad as a Mars Hare - Dir. Chuck Jones

TV

1990 - Tiny Toon Adventures Season 1: “Buster and The Wolverine”

1991 - Taz-Mania: “Woeful Wolf”

1993 - Animaniacs Season 1: “Disasterpiece Theatre” / “Hercule Yakko” / “Home on De-Nile” / “A Midsummer Night’s Dream”

1996 - “Papers for Papa” / “Amazing Gladiators” / “Pinky and the Ralph” / Flavio Commercials.

1997 - Pinky and the Brain Season 3: “A Pinky and the Brain Halloween”

[astrabear]

my labor, and my leisure too (pt. 3)

The final installment! Even longer than the second one! At some point I'll clean it all up and chuck it on Ao3. (Where, FYI, it will be tagged as "creator chose not to use archive warnings".)

part 1 here part 2 here

*******

It was one of the toughest weeks she could remember, partly because they all seemed to be working at cross purposes. Some of them were trying to refine the current plan while others were trying to find any reason to abandon it. No one wanted to admit that a decision had been made, while at the same time wanting to spend as much time with Nicky and Joe as they could. Joe and Nicky, in turn, seemed torn between wanting time alone together and wanting to maintain their usual routine. It was, unsurprisingly, impossible to say goodbye while also acting as though everything was normal.

Nile woke up each morning feeling nauseated and numb. It all felt unreal, like there was a glitchy forcefield between her and her surroundings. No one slept or ate enough. They needed to be in top condition; there were too many ways this could go wrong, and she couldn’t bear the thought of… of whatever happened, being for nothing. She tried to set a good example, and she could see that Nicky and Joe were trying too, but there was a limit to how much any of them could choke down their food or hide their exhaustion.

Gert cornered her after a few days of this. “I thought we were going to keep talking,” they said angrily. “I thought it wasn’t settled yet. Everyone is sure acting like it’s been settled.”

Nile was too tired and heartsick to be diplomatic. “Sure, we can talk. What do you have to say that hasn’t already been said? Have you managed to find some ingenious plan that we previously overlooked? Or maybe you’ve got something that will convince the two of them that their lives are worth more than however many thousands of people will be helped by this?” What the hell, Freeman, they’re not even sixty years old yet, what are you doing? Pull yourself together.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “That came out worse than I meant it to. But it’s true – we’ve got to give them a reason.”

“How’s this for a reason? We get to make choices too. It isn’t just up to them. We can choose not to go along. We can scrap the mission ourselves.”

It was a thought Nile’d had herself more than once, so she knew how to respond. “Okay. Do you think their lives are worth more than all those thousands of people?” She wanted to say yes. Yes, they are worth all that and more. Yes, I would gladly trade thousands of strangers whose faces I’ll never see for my two oldest friends. Gert’s eyes blazed, and she knew they wanted to say it too.

Neither of them did. The fire in Gert’s eyes died out, and they looked away.

“I get it,” Nile said as comfortingly as she could, “I really do. I was about your age when Andromache died.”

“But that was years. Decades. Right? You didn’t just…” they waved their hand vaguely. Send her off to die.

“Decades, yeah. Decades of worrying about her, wondering each time if that job would be the last. Practicing more field medicine than I ever expected to learn. Watching over her in hospital rooms. She wasn’t interested in retirement either.”

“So was it…worse like that? Compared to now, I mean. Or better?”

There wasn’t a lot that Nile remembered from back then. Impressions, feelings. A few still images, a handful of memories seared into her brain with holovid clarity. Smiles and laughter and tears and blood.

She sighed. “I don’t think it works like that.”

“No,” said Gert. “I guess it doesn’t.”

...

By the time of their scheduled update meeting at the end of the week, they were all running on empty. All of them but Jerrah had gathered in the briefing room, and Nile couldn’t bring herself to either page him over the comms system or start the meeting without him. The other four shuffled awkwardly, waiting for someone to do or say something. Nile just stared at her hands. She felt heavy, as though someone had cranked up the artificial gravity too high. Even raising her eyes to look around the room was too much.

At last, Lijie cleared her throat and said, “We’ve been going through the notes and things. Gert and I. And we uh… we haven’t found – “

Jerrah stumbled into the room, out of breath. “Hey, sorry I’m late. But I have an idea.”

...

They missed their window, but the asteroid’s path gave them another one a few months later. Nicky and Joe fretted at the delay, but to Nile it looked like they were sleeping and eating better. It was a relief to see that they were not so set on martyrdom that they’d object to slowing down a mission that had already stretched out so long.

Jerrah kept them all too busy to brood anyway. By the time the next window approached, Joe and Nicky had armor that provided more protection, with less weight and stiffness, than Nile had ever programmed into her simulations. She couldn’t get him to admit it, but she was pretty sure that he had invented an entirely new material to do it. It could, possibly, help them survive the explosion.

Especially in combination with the miniature gravity modulators he embedded in their boots. They weren’t very strong, and they’d run out of power quickly. But a few minutes of lower gravity to help them run faster might get them far enough from the blast to make a difference. A few minutes of higher gravity after the blast might keep them on or near the ground until the atmospheric dome reformed and the artificial gravity came back on. The auto-pressurization function already in their helmets might keep them alive during that time too.

Maybe. Possibly.

Nile got Jerrah alone once - after Nicky twisted his ankle training with the boots and spent the rest of the day complaining about how long the muscle knitter took to work - to ask if all this new equipment lowered the risk enough that someone who was still healing could set up the explosives after all.

He looked at her solemnly and asked, “How low would the risk have to be, for you to send one of us in to do it?” She thought about spinning off into space, never slowing, never found. Quỳnh had said she’d felt her lungs fill with water with each revival, so did that mean coming back to life with one breath of air already inside? Would your lungs explode immediately each time, once the helmet system gave out? Or would you have a whole 15 seconds to contemplate your situation before the hypoxia knocked you out? She knew the odds of passing near enough to something large enough to have gravity were so low as to be basically zero, but if you did…? What if you got burned up by a star, or incinerated falling through a planet’s atmosphere? What if you regenerated on a planet that couldn’t support life? What if…?

Jerrah must have seen all that in her face. He nodded his understanding. “Not that low. Not nearly that low. This isn’t a guarantee of anything. Or even much of a probability, if I’m honest. It’s just a…”

“A hope?”

“Or a wish. I’m sorry.”

She squeezed his arm reassuringly. “Don’t be sorry. It’s more than we had before.”

She turned to walk away, but he called her back. “Nile. Don’t tell them.”

“I won’t. I’m pretty sure they already know.”

...

The security system didn’t extend to the edge of the atmospheric dome; it didn’t need to. The sensor buoys would detect anything approaching the asteroid anyway. Except, as the team had worked out, when the alignment of the buoys was just right relative to the other asteroids in the belt, a small enough object (such as their shuttle) transmitting the right kind of energy pulse (they’d retrofitted an emergency beacon months ago) could follow a very narrow and intricate course (painstakingly programmed by Nicky and Lijie) and land in one particular spot, just a few degrees of the dome’s circumference. And it would not be detected.

The shuttle flight was less excruciating than Nile had expected. There wasn’t as much banter as usual, but there was some. What there was not, was the suffocating dread of that first week. They’d had a nice dinner the night before that was very pointedly not a goodbye party or an anticipatory wake, although there had been a lot more hugging and hand-holding and significant looks than their dinners generally included. Everyone looked tired (but not exhausted) and determined. And if, whenever they weren’t too busy, Nicky and Joe held hands so tightly their knuckles turned white… well, Nile would deny disproportionately assigning them tasks that didn’t require both hands.

The only small hiccup came when they landed and everyone scrambled into their gear. Joe and Nicky hung back a little, moving slowly. Oh, she thought, gloves and helmets. Of course. She herded the others out of the shuttle to give them some privacy. From the corner of her eye she saw them lean their foreheads together, and she hurriedly shut the hatch behind her. She didn’t need to see how they spent the last moments in which they could touch each other.

Once they were in formation with the others, they were as focused and ready as they'd ever been. Joe and Nicky, side by side, she thought, with all their friends around them. How they've always been, how they want it to always be. She took point and settled herself firmly in her body, in the present moment. For more than two millennia, if there was a job in front of Nile Freeman, Nile Freeman did that job.

She allowed herself one last moment to think, you never know, if immortality is real then anything is possible. Sometimes the universe is kind. But if there has to be an ending, I guess this one's not so bad.

Then Jerrah’s tablet beeped, signaling that the security system had gone offline. She unholstered her sidearm and started walking, knowing they'd all follow. "All right, people. Let's do some good."

[soulmusicsongs]

Funky Drums in 30 tracks

The drum breaks from Funky Drummer by James Brown, Amen, Brother by the Winstons and Synthetic Substitution by Melvin Bliss are possibly three of the most sampled drum tracks ever. But there are more soul songs that have great funky drum openings, catchy intros and killer drum breaks.

African Jive (Moto) - Dick Khoza (Chapita, 1976)

Baby Don’t Cry - The Third Guitar Featuring Eddie Holloway (Baby Don’t Cry / Don’t Take Your Love From Me, 1968)

Bailemos El Bump - Leopardo (Bailemos El Bump / Súper Mandíbulas, 1975)

City Sounds - Daly-Wilson Big Band Featuring Kerrie Biddell (The Exciting Daly-Wilson Big Band, 1972)

Corruption Is The Thing - Creations Unlimited (Corruption Is The Thing / Chrystal Illusion, 1972)

Crumbs Off The Table - The Young Disciples & Co. (Crumbs Off The Table / Girls, Girls, Girls, 1968)

Drum Diddley - Alan Moorhouse And His Bond Street Brigade (Alan Moorhouse And His Bond Street Brigade 1972)

Funky Fever - Jay Mitchell (Impartiality, 1975) - Bahamas

Gimme, Gimme - Tony Gregory And Family Child (One More Time, 1973)

Great Stone Bottle - Ronnie Kole Trio (New Orleans… Today, 1971)

Ham Hocks And Beans - Part 1 - Chuck Womack and The Sweet Souls ‎(Ham Hocks And Beans - Part 1 / Ham Hocks And Beans - Part 2, 1970)

I Wouldn’t Change A Thing - Coke Escovedo (Comin’ At Ya!, 1976)

The Jed Clampett - The Sister And Brothers (The Jed Clampett - Part 1 / The Jed Clampett - Part 2, 1970)

Katty's Thing - Anthony Butler And The Invaders (The Chokin' Kind / Katty's Thing, 1969)

Let's Go To Randstad - Rogier Van Otterloo (Let's Go To Randstad / Randstad Reflection, 1974)

Love Is Good - C.L. Blast (Two Time One Is Two / Love Is Good, 1970)

Mo-Funk - Vern Blair Debate (Mo-Funk / Foxy Lady, 1977)

Ne Noya - Cos-Ber-Zam (Ne Nyoa / Cicavi Nye, 1973)

Nile Waves - The Scorpions & Saif Abu Bakr (Jazz, 1980)

Paradise - Bobby Franklin's Insanity (Paradise / Our Theme, 1969)

Phenomena Theme - In Search Of Orchestra ‎(In Search Of..., 1977)

Plea To The People - Curry (Plea To The People / The Beauty Of You, 1971)

Sascha - The Hot Sound Of Mauritius (The Hot Sound Of Mauritius Is “Sega Music”, 1977)

Smash - Damn Sam The Miracle Man and The Soul Congregation (Damn Sam The Miracle Man And The Soul Congregation, 1970)

Sunday Drivin' - Dominic Frontiere (On Any Sunday, 1971)

Superstition - Blooblo (Reggae Party Time, 1973)

Toda La Juventud - Maggie Carlés Y Luis Nodal Y Los Magnéticos (Maggie Carlés Y Luis Nodal Y Los Magnéticos, 1976)

Uela Uela - Charly Antolini's Power Dozen (Atomic Drums, 1972)

Until You Were Gone - Leon’s Creation (This Is The Beginning, 1970)

Viva Tirado - The Exciters (Conozco A Los Dos, 1971)

More Funky Drums

Funky Drums in 20 tracks

Funky Drums: 25 drum intro’s and breaks

Steel Drum Soul  

Funky Drums: 30 drum intro’s and breaksFunky Drums: 25 drum intro’s and breaks

Funky Drums: 100 Tracks with the best Drum Intros and Breaks

[chrisryanspeaks]

Beyond the Rodeo: Beyoncé's Cowboy Carter Unveils a New Frontier in Music

Rating 8/10 - GREAT Album Beyoncé's new album, Cowboy Carter, marks a significant evolution in her illustrious career, blending a rich tapestry of musical genres with country music at its core. Over five years in the making, Beyoncé embarked on the project in 2019, finding creative fervor during the COVID-19 pandemic. This album, which is a part of a trilogy aimed at exploring the Black roots of various musical genres, follows Renaissance (2022), a celebration of house and disco music. One of Beyoncé's inspirations for Cowboy Carter comes from the history of Black cowboys, an aspect of Western history and culture she felt was overlooked and deserved to be highlighted. This theme resonates with her personal experiences growing up in Houston and attending the Houston rodeo, reflecting a desire to reclaim and celebrate the place of Black performers in the narrative of the American West. Musically, Cowboy Carter is a country album that intricately weaves in elements of blues, soul, rock, R&B, zydeco, folk, bluegrass, opera, go-go, flamenco, and fado, showcasing Beyoncé's ability to blend genres seamlessly. The album also features a unique concept where it's presented as a broadcast from a fictional Texas radio station, with country legends like Dolly Parton, Linda Martell, and Willie Nelson acting as radio DJs. This innovative approach is complemented by collaborations with a range of artists, including rising country musicians and established stars like Stevie Wonder, Nile Rodgers, and Jon Batiste. One of the album's standout moments includes a cover of The Beatles “Blackbird” and Dolly Parton's "Jolene," a song Parton herself expressed a desire to hear Beyoncé perform. The inclusion of this cover, alongside original tracks that pay homage to the likes of Linda Martell, signifies Beyoncé's respect and acknowledgment of country music's heritage and its diverse influences. In terms of promotion, the album was teased during Super Bowl LVIII in a commercial that played with the idea of breaking the internet with increasingly extravagant stunts, culminating in the announcement of new music. This was followed by a visually striking teaser video directed by Nadia Lee Cohen, which paid homage to Paris, Texas and featured Chuck Berry's "Maybellene." Beyoncé has described Cowboy Carter as not just a country album but a "Beyoncé album," underscoring her intent to challenge genre limitations and create a body of work that transcends traditional musical boundaries. This ambition is reflected in the album's cyclical structure, echoing the endless loop of storytelling found in James Joyce's Finnegans Wake, and in Beyoncé's dedication to using her music to unite people and amplify important voices in musical history​. Check out “Blackbird” below: Read the full article