#classy chaos in a tux

[husk-says-no]

[[ Hey, page owner here! My birthday was on Monday, and I wanted to share this awesome birthday commission I got from one of my favorite artists, Zammy Blehc.

https://bsky.app/profile/zammyblehc.bsky.social

I’m seriously obsessed with how it turned out—look at my boy Husk, livin’ it up for yours truly hehe ]]

[blueberrybirdsworld]

Collision 4/20

Summary:

Lando always had a type : blonde, models, not ready to settle down. Yet once he met her, all his world is changed and he slowly start to realises maybe he was wrong all this time.

It's a prequel story of The Cat Distribution System, on how Lando Norris fall in love with Ariana. Could be read seperatly.

Pairing : lando norris x original female character

Genre : SMAU, Fluff, slow burn, enventual smut and angst

Warning : none

CHAPTER 4 : SMAU

Serie Masterlist

@landonorris

Life lately: city nights, soft lights, slow things 🎼

@pietra you forgot “dragged to the ballet and actually kinda loved it” 😌🩰

@maxfewtrell he's lying. man was into act II don't let him pretend otherwise

@carlossainz55 slow things? who is this poetic new version of you

@formula1fashion slide 4… tux?? okay classy king

@curiouscatfan is that a program for The Nutcracker? 👀

@slowcircuits love this whole soft mood. winter season lando is ✨

@arianariverria

Opening night in Royal Opera still lingers in my limbs. Thank you to the ones who made it feel like gold 🩰🤍

@ballerinasoflondon You were luminous on stage

@velvetdanse this is what grace looks like

@stagequietly saw you last night — truly breathtaking 🩰

@quietballetgirl this bouquet is straight out of a novel. you’re magic.

@balletfansunited whoever gave you those flowers has taste 😍

Instagram Story – @pietra

@f1casuals not pietra casually giving us ballet night with the lads content 😭 I love it here

@ballerinasonthegrid wait was doing Lando and Max at The Nutcracker??

@fashionf1blog tbh obsessed with this whole aesthetic

@quietobserver32 Lando looked like the adoptive son of Max and Pietra

@f1winterwatch #LandoNorris seen by fans at the Royal Opera House in London for opening night of The Nutcracker during winter break. Dressed in full tux and accompanied by close friend Max Fewtrell and Pietra Pilao, the McLaren driver was photographed looking very out of his usual element.

Fans were quick to clock the ballet program in hand — and even quicker to spiral. Sources say he stayed through the full performance and went to the after show gala, according to Max’s own comments he was “weirdly into Act II.” 👀.

@f1girlie lando norris watching ballet in a tux… literally what dimension is this

@chaoticgrid so we all agree this is Pietra’s doing right??

@curiouspitlane "weirdly into Act II" IS THE FUNNIEST THING I’VE EVER READ

@formulafits not me falling in love with winter opera lando. he’s just like a victorian novel character now

@gridgossipgirl he’s not suddenly into ballet y’all 😂 he prob just got roped in by max and pietra

@f1curiosity don’t forget it was donors night at the Royal Opera… PR move?? 👀

@midfielddreams let’s be real: this is 100% media team damage control for the party boy Lando headlines

@offtrackantics tbh i wouldn’t be shocked if McLaren told him to show face and act classy for once lol

@slowburnsundays he looked good. that’s all i’m taking from this. tux Lando supremacy

@gridoverdramatic we’ve gone from ibiza yachts to ballet in a month 😭 PR team is working overtime

@f1goat not buying the “soft boy era” spin yet. we’ve seen the club videos. we remember.

@quietlyofftrack maybe he was just trying to support pietra. like. sometimes guys do wholesome things to balance the chaos

@fansofthegrid i know everyone’s like “image change!!!” but honestly?? maybe he just likes dressing up and sitting down for 2 hours

Texts messages :

Unknown Number hi so, this might be weird unless it’s not? I don’t know

Ariana Who is this?

Unknown Number right, yeah sorry it’s Lando from the other night I get your number trough the dancers contact list I hope it's okay, I swear I’m not weird

Ariana …Norris?

Lando yes, that one Formula One guy bad-at-tuxedos guy

Ariana I remember You weren’t that bad at tuxedos

Lando 😅 thanks I practiced standing still in a mirror beforehand

Ariana Impressive. So, what’s this text about?

Lando right, yeah ok so this isn’t like a thing like it’s not a date not that I wouldn’t, I mean it could be not that it has to be I just thought—

Ariana Breathe.

Lando okay resetting hi again

Ariana Hello again.

Lando I wanted to see if you might want to come to this gathering thing, not like a wild party or anything just friends, pizza, blankets, probably candles Pietra said something about fairy lights and “safe vibes”

Ariana That’s… quite the pitch

Lando I panicked halfway through and committed to the bit

Ariana I could tell So you’re inviting me to a not-a-party?

Lando yes, very chill Max is hosting and Pietra’s coming no pressure at all, if you hate it you can pretend you weren’t even there

Ariana Are you always this nervous when texting?

Lando only when the person I’m texting is kind of intimidating and elegant and casually tore my ego in half at a club once

Ariana Fair And do you usually invite said people to pizza nights?

Lando no, this is a new thing trying something different slower quieter less… tequila and regrettable decisions

Ariana I appreciate that Maybe

Lando maybe yes or maybe “I’ll disappear for three months and never answer again”?

Ariana Maybe yes if I’m not busy and if the playlist isn’t terrible

Lando Max made the playlist so yes it’s terrible but we can change it if you come

Ariana Tempting

Lando pls come I already told Pietra I invited you and she’s going to mock me forever if you don’t

Ariana Send the address I’ll think about it

Lando [📍Shared Location] okay sent thank you for being gentle with how awkward I am I swear I’m cooler in person actually no, that’s probably a lie

Ariana It’s fine I don’t like cool people anyway

Lando 😳 I’ll take that as a win

Taglist : @angelluv16, @httpsxnox, @anunstablefangirl, @chocolatemagazinecupcake, @mayax2o07, @freyathehuntress, @verogonewild, @esw1012

Let me know if you wanted to be added to the taglist !

[vagrantblvrd]

I don’t remember where I heard/saw this? But Geoff knowing how to sew/making his own clothes = Geoff the tailor AU. (With a side of Battle Buddies.)

Because reasons.

Also because reasons, Ramwood.

But like.

Ryan coming into Geoff’s shop for a fitting because his BFF Jeremy is getting married.

Jeremy’s deliriously, sickeningly happy with his husband to be. Ryan’s all jokingly grumpy mcgrump about it because could they please, please, please not talk about how ~perfect your man is and how his eyes are like jewels, or sparkling orbs or whatever nonsense you’re spewing today?

We’re meant to be killing a Very Bad Man, Jeremy. Please focus.

But really, he’s just as happy for Jeremy and has totally ~secretly vetted Jeremy’s husband to be even though they work with him and he’s got top security clearance and it’s really Ryan being an overprotective dork. (I don’t know who Jeremy’s husband to be is in this - Gavin? Michael? Some other lucky/unlucky bastard. Possibly both, who knows.)

Someone gives Jeremy the card to Geoff’s little shop, tells him he’ll get a great discount for Jeremy and his groomsmen if they say the card giver sent them.

Jeremy was originally mean to go along wit Ryan to his fitting, but there was a last minute schedule change.

Which, fine, okay.

Plans change.

Ryan can do this!

He’s a highly skilled special ops/sekrit agent man!

Being fitted for a tux has got to be way easier than sneaking into another country to quietly (well, the mission briefing said quietly, reality turned out to far different) assassinate a druglord-turned-dictator, right?

...Maybe.

But then, okay.

Then he goes in and the shop is nothing like he was expecting.

Something along the lines of what you’d see in movies and on television, right? All classy decor and fancy as hell. Understated everything and the kind of place rich people love to go because Classy. (Kind of place his parents dragged him to as a kid for all kind of things and he wanted Jeremy along for moral support because ugh, memories.)

This place?

Nice decor, sure.

It’s just.

It’s not stuffy. (Not stuffy or pretentious like the places his parents dragged him to as a kid and it’s just an overall pleasant surprise.)

There’s music playing quietly, some band he’s never head of which isn’t a surprise, really. But! He gets the feeling even Jeremy would be hard-pressed to name them.

Potted plants and the lighting is just right to set him at ease. Not glaringly bright like a box store or too dark like certain stores in the mall. Framed posters on the wall - they seem classy enough at first glance, right? Tasteful frames and lovely artwork and all that. 

But as he hits the little silver bell on the counter to alert the shop owner he’s there, he gets curious. Takes a closer look and laughs in surprise because the one behind the counter is a goddamned movie poster.

One of those vintage style ones for some classic movie, and the others around the shop are for other movies and bands and the like.

Little splashes of color and personality are dotted around the shop too, have him wondering what the hell kind of place this is, and then the shop owner walks out of the back.

Kind of looks like a crazy you’d run into the street, except for the nice suit and shoes and so on. (Maybe the hair is just some fancy hairstyle Ryan’s not cool enough to get. That whole deliberately messy look some people go wild over.)

The guy looks mildly annoyed not to see someone - Ryan’s wandered away from the counter, half-hidden by display mannequins as he examines the framed art hanging up. (And it is art, no matter what people like his parents would have to say about the subject matter.)

“Uh, hi?” Ryan says, sheepish about getting distracted as he goes over to where the shop owner is standing. “I had an appointment for a fitting today at two?”

The guy cocks his head as he gives Ryan this slow once-over.

“Haywood?” he asks, deep in thought.

Ryan nods, they do the whole handshake bit.

“For the Dooley wedding, yes.” A pause, as Ryan gets his brain into proper working order because the shop owner has the most vivid blue eyes. “Jack recommended your shop?”

At the mention of Jack’s name the shop owner’s lips twitch into this smirk.

“HE did, did he?” he asks, and something about it comes off as ominous.

“...Yes?” Ryan answers, not really sure what he’s in for here, and also wishing Jeremy was there.

As backup.

Against a tailor.

There’s a long pause, the shop owner regarding Ryan like he’s sizing him up, and then he laughs. Goes from suspicious to friendly and welcoming in the blink of an eye, smile on his face that looks like it could spell trouble if Ryan’s not careful. (Jeremy’s always saying he isn’t, so…)

“Well, any friend of Jack’s is a friend of mine,” the shop owner says.

That’s...okay. Good to know???

The guy introduces himself as Geoff, and leads Ryan to the back to the fitting area and they go about things as you do in a tailor’s shop. (I don’t know what goes on in one personally, but I imagine dark magics must be involved somehow???)

Anyway.

There’s idle chitchat that relaxes Ryan, has him not so uptight at being at a tailor’s on his own.

But that’s kind of worse in a way, because he’s noticing how the wild jumble of Geoff’s hair works for him, not to mention the beard.

Also, okay.

The tattoos are interesting, and Ryan keeps finding his attention drawn to the ones on Geoff’s hands.

Just.

Literally cannot stop himself from looking, feels himself blushing when Geoff catches him at it. This wry twist to his lips as he spins some story about ~youthful indiscretions and rebellion and whatever else about how he got them.

This pause, tension to his shoulders, set of his jaw that wasn’t there before.

“What about you? Have any tattoos?”

Ryan blinks, not sure what’s caused the guarded tone in Geoff’s voice.

“Uh, one,” he admits, a bit sheepishly.

He’s never really been someone who wanted tattoos of his own, but then he got partnered with Jeremy, and Ryan’s kind of an idiot.

(The two of them celebrating the fact that they somehow (miraculously!!1!) survived a particularly dangerous mission and Jeremy more than a little drunk when he came up with the idea of matching tattoos.

Sketched out a design for the “Battle Buddies” on a bar napkin and shoved it at Ryan who was impressed in spite of himself. A little messy because Jeremy and drunk and bar napkin?

But the basic design was something he could maybe live with as a tattoo.

Told Jeremy to wait until he wasn’t halfway to blackout drunk to pith the idea again, and thought that would be the last of it, you know. Idea lost to murky fog of alcohol and whatnot, but then Jeremy comes to him a week later, presents one of his sketchbooks with a proper drawing this time. Clean lines and bold design and Jeremy wheedling, so you know.

Tattoo.)

Geoff looks surprised at that admission, so Ryan tells him the whole story and Geoff’s laughing by the end of it because actually getting the damn thing was An Ordeal.

“Hey, c’mon,” Ryan says, something light in his chest at Geoff’s laugh – goddamn sunshine - and oh, oh, he’s headed for trouble here. “It’s not that awful, okay.”

But it kind of is, because assholes looking for revenge on the Battle Buddies from a previous mission and a good portion of the city in chaos and having to find a new tattoo artist. (Jeremy’s favorite guy being apologetic about it, but seriously Jeremy. There’s only so many times his insurance will cover the cost for repairs when it suddenly explodes, think of his premiums.)

Geoff loses that tight, pinched look to his face and this time when he catches Ryan staring at his hands he just waggles his eyebrows and makes terrible joke and it’s okay.

(Geoff also totally laughs when he catches a glimpse of Ryan’s tattoo at some point, and Ryan is like “Hey, now,” with this dumb little smile.)

And like.

Of course Ryan has to go back a few more time for additional fittings and Geoff is always delighted to see him.

Worries a bit when Ryan comes in looking like shit after a mission – all bruised and battered, even if he’s cleaned up. (“You should have seen the other guy, Geoff.��)

(Jeremy finally freeing up time to offer to go along with Ryan for one of them and Ryan telling him it’s not necessary and Jeremy being confused until he spots the tell-tale signs of Ryan with a big ol’ crush,and then it’s gentle teasing because it’s freaking adorable is what it is.)

And then!

Some situation in which baddies track the Battle Buddies down to their personal lives and Ryan terrified for Geoff, right? (They’re not a Thing, but the baddies know he’s been going to Geoff’s shop a lot – look, fittings, okay. Rough business. Or something, Whatever.)

Rushes to get there after fighting off some baddies who got to him at his place, and find -

“Uh...”

Geoff, standing over a body with a gun and this hard-eyed look to him.

Not the sassy, snarky motherfucker Ryan’s totally head over heels for who makes dumb jokes and gives Ryan this look until he laughs at him. This guy who listens to punk rock music and mocks Ryan for being a complete dork. Someone with an amazing laugh and just makes Ryan indescribably happy being around.

“Hey, give me a hand, there’s another one in the back.”

Ryan just ??? as he follows Geoff – glances down to look at the very dead baddie and is even more ??? - because what is going on???

Finds Geoff trying to move another very dead baddie because apparently there’s a hidden trap door or whatever that leads down to what looks like a bunker of some sort? Weapons locker and body armor and what the fuck is going on???

Geoff catching the dumbfounded look on Ryan’s face and sighing.

“Didn’t Jack tell you? We used to work together.”

Jack, as in the guy who basically runs the agency he and Jeremy work for. Quiet and competent and all these rumors about his old partner before the guy retired. Some bullshit about getting into a fight with Burnie over something and quitting over it.

(Rumors say there was more to it, conspiracies and Jack’s old partner working behind the scenes with Burnie and his people to expose it and deciding he'd had enough of the life when it as all over and done with even though Burnie offered to reinstate him and so on.

Just...didn’t like the lies and shit that went with it, and started up some little business of his own somewhere.

Kept in contact with Jack and Burnie, sent them tacky postcards when he went on vacation or Christmas Ryan would see in their offices every so often. Had a barbecue every one in a while for the old guard, that kind of thing.)

Ryan staring at Geoff as he gears up, clearly knows what he’s about as he does. Quick and efficient and Ryan finds himself staring at the tattoos on Geoff’s hands again, right.

Only this time there are guns and ammunition and knives in them instead of the tape measure or pins or the battered little notebook and pen he likes to use to mark down measurements.

(Ryan is a little embarrassed at how hot he finds it all, okay.)

Geoff catches him looking – of course he does – and the smirk he gives Ryan is all sharp and knowing and oh, fucking hell, has Ryan really been that obvious?

“Hey, you want to, I don’t know. Grab a fucking coffee or something when this is over?” Geoff asks, this slight edge of nervousness to his words that jolts Ryan out of mindlessly staring at him.

“I...uh,” Ryan is totally not panicking, no. “Yeah, sure?”

Winces at the way Geoff’s smile fades because Ryan is a disaster, but then there’s a crashing noise upstairs and more baddies to deal with.

Geoff scowling and muttering about just getting the place remodeled as he storms up the ladder, Ryan hurrying after him and oh what the fuck has he gotten himself into now???

Shenanigans as they fight off the baddies and meet up with Jeremy to figure things out and awkward flirting.

And then!

When everything’s over and done with, and Ryan and Geoff are in medical waiting to have their flesh wounds and the like treated -

“I - “ Ryan clears his throat when Geoff look up at him, ache in his chest at the slump to Geoff’s shoulders.

Because awkward flirting, sure, but also Ryan processing Things.

“There’s this place downtown that has great coffee,” he offers, sure Geoff’s going to turn him down. “If you want to go there sometime. With me. On a date.”

(Just to be clear, you know. Ryan would absolutely die if there was a misunderstanding now.)

Geoff blinks at him, and it’s got this sad panda effect with the soot smudges on his face and bits of dried mud and blood.

“What?”

(Okay, yes, there were a few explosions here and there and they may have been a wee bit too close to them. Temporary deafness and the like.)

Ryan laughs and tries again. Rips off a bit of the paper on the examining table-thing and writes it down before balling it up and throwing it to Geoff. (His knee’s a little messed up, makes it hard to walk. Because reasons.)

Geoff sputter and shooting him a glare before he opens the crumples paper ball up and then he just...stares at it for a long, long moment.

Nothing giving away what he’s thinking and Ryan dying inside because his knee, okay. Makes it real fucking hard for him to run away to find a corner to die of embarrassment in if he got things wrong? (Really, unbelievably wrong?)

And then Geoff looks up, crooked little grin/smirk on his face.

“You’re lucky you’re pretty,” he says, and then because he has to know Ryan has no idea what that even means in relation to anything. “Yes, you idiot. I’d love to get coffee. With you. As a date.”

Ryan blushing like a moron as Geoff laughs at him, and that’s about the time the doctor gets there and yells at Ryan for being an idiot and Geoff, Geoff, you should fucking know better you asshole.

Jack laughs at Ryan for forever about falling in love with Geoff, because oh, Ryan, you poor bastard. (But also Shovel Talks him, so there’s that.)

Jeremy laughs himself sick when he realizes why Ryan insisted he could handle his fitting appointments on his own, but thanks, buddy! (There are, of course, dirty jokes about it always.)

Geoff is just amazed at how dumb Ryan is, because oh my God, man. Seriously? (Look. Ryan’s smart, but also real dumb.)

Also, they do get that coffee and Geoff is Ryan’s date to Jeremy’s wedding.

...And then a few years down the road when Ryan and Geoff decide they might as well fuckin’ get married they go on a Quest to find a suitable tailor. (Geoff insists he shouldn’t have to do it because it’s his own fucking wedding, what the hell are you on about, Ryan?)