#cleft chins psychotic rage and cyborg hands

[anghraine]

I’ve been thinking about why “Luke could even see the good in Vader” bothers me, although it seems basically true on the face of it.

I think it’s because the phrasing roots what happens in Luke’s character, with Anakin only relevant as a metric of just how far Luke’s (alleged) optimism goes. Anakin’s almost an afterthought here; the suggestion is that Luke can see the good in almost anyone, even Vader. And ... not really?

He says over and over in ROTJ that he won’t kill Anakin because a) Anakin is his father and b) he, Luke, can sense the good in him through the Force. He’s not sensing it through basic optimism about people in general; he’s sensing Anakin’s true self through their very real psychic bond.

And that’s lost when it’s reduced to Luke being so forgiving and sunny and optimistic that his goodness can even encompass Vader—Luke’s polar opposite in this formulation, rather than the father he loves, and intensely identifies with throughout the entirety of the OT. His high point as a character lies not in disassociating himself from Anakin, but in embracing his legacy even as he makes a different choice.

There is a lot more going on than Anakin as simply the marker of how far Luke’s good nature can take him. And personally, I don’t think it’s that Luke can even see the good in as faulty a person as Anakin. It’s that Luke can particularly see the good in Anakin, through their personal connection as people, as Jedi, and as father and son.

[idiosyncraticrednebula]

LOL, IIRC I think the #cleft chins cyborg hands & psychotic rage tag originally came from anghraine way back in the day. I'm just a sponge who absorbs & preserves iconic tags, my actual wit could never

Looool nevertheless I still love the tags you leave under a lot of posts. They are so much fun to read!! and yes they are pretty iconic™ Don’t underestimate yourself, you’re probably much more wity than I could ever hope to be :P 

[anghraine]

Some Skywalker quotes I enjoyed from the SW marathon:

1.

Leia to Anakin: Only you could be so bold. (ANH)

(uh huh)

2.

Anakin to Grievous: You’re shorter than I expected. (ROTS)

Leia to Tarkin: I recognized your foul stench when I was brought on board. (ANH)

3.

Luke: It just isn’t fair. (ANH)

Anakin: He just doesn’t understand! It’s not fair! (AOTC)

4.

Luke to Han: Between his howling and your blasting everything in sight, it’s a wonder the whole station doesn’t know we’re here! (ANH)

Leia to Han: Put that thing away! You’re going to get us all killed! (ANH)

5.

Leia to Han: You needn’t worry about your reward. If money is all that you love, then that’s what you’ll receive! (ANH)

Luke to Han: Well, take care of yourself, Han. I guess that’s what you’re best at, isn’t it? (ANH)

6.

Luke to Han: I knew you’d come back! I just knew it! (ANH)

Leia to Han: I knew there was more to you than money! (ANH)

7.

Anakin to Ozzel: You have failed me for the last time, Admiral. (ESB)

Luke to Jabba: That’s the last mistake you’ll ever make. (ROTJ)

8.

Anakin to Padmé: I saw my mother. I saw her as clearly as I see you now. She is suffering, Padmé. She is in pain ... I must go. I have to help her! (AOTC)

Luke to Yoda: Han! Leia! ... I saw a city in the clouds ... they were in pain. ...I’ve got to go to them. (ESB)

9.

Anakin: Don’t make me destroy you. (ESB)

Luke: You can profit by this or be destroyed. (ROTJ)

10.

Anakin about Padmé: It’s impossible! No!!! (ROTS)

Luke to Anakin: That’s impossible! ... No!!! (ESB)

11.

Anakin to Obi-Wan: You underestimate my power. (ROTS)

Luke to Jabba: I warn you not to underestimate my powers. (ROTJ)

12.

Anakin: You’re asking me to do something against the Jedi Code. (ROTS)

Luke: I am a Jedi, like my father before me. (ROTJ)

13.

Anakin to Shmi: Hang on. I’m going to get you out of here. (AOTC)

Luke to Anakin: You’re coming with me ... Father, I won’t leave you. (ROTJ)

14.

Shmi to Anakin: I’m so glad to see you, Ani. Now, I am complete. (AOTC)

Anakin to Luke: Just for once, let me look on you with my own eyes. (ROTJ)

[anghraine]

Do you you still take Star war prompt? Anakin is the son of the Force. Which can be considered some sort of powerful eldritch entity. So the Skywalkers are one too. Including all those disturbing and horrifying things that come with them.

I’m always happy to talk about SW!

I would say that there are a lot of ways to interpret Anakin’s exact relationship to the Force/conception, and it’s possible to fairly interpret it differently. I mean, I think things like “Shmi was lying” are taking the cheap way out, but other than that.

Personally, I do headcanon that Anakin is effectively the son of the Force and that it creates a slightly ... off strain in him and his descendants. (I recently-ish wrote this into a fic!) I also headcanon that this was part of why Padmé was so drained by her pregnancy.

That said, I don’t see the Force as a negative power in the universe overall, so I don’t think it makes them act in disturbing and horrifying ways (Exhibit A: Leia), though it’s one of the many factors at play in their heads (it’s not like Leia is wholly normal).

If you look at Anakin, say, there’s a lot going on with him that isn’t directly related to the Force (slavery, the increasing incompetence/corruption of the world around him, torture/murder of his mother, secret marriage etc). At the same time, the Force is definitely a major factor in his state of mind and inclinations and decisions. And when we hear about—and see—Luke’s quality of Anakin-ness despite him never knowing Anakin until adulthood, and his literal psychic bond with Anakin (which Leia doesn’t have), I think it’s possible to see that as a manifestation of that weird strain being strongly passed down. 

I once saw a manip that overlaid that quote about Targaryens onto them, and I think it’s somewhat apropos? They basically come in “truly great” or “disaster area” (or both) and I think it’s fair to see that as partly to do with their otherworldly origins—though, as I said, not the only possible reading.

Overall ... my friend @lotesseflower made an icon that pretty much represents my view:

[anghraine]

I once had a therapist who had me take the Enneagram, which was ... weird, but it’s a fun system for thinking about fictional characters. I’ve been primarily using it to get original characters clear in my mind, but now it’s like ... what about our faves?

Say, Darcy for me: I could see a few others, but I’m inclined to go for Type One, with features of both the healthy and unhealthy aspects:

Extremely principled, always want to be fair, objective, and ethical: truth and justice primary values. Sense of responsibility, personal integrity, and of having a higher purpose

Highly dogmatic, self-righteous, intolerant, and inflexible. Begin dealing in absolutes: they alone know "The Truth." Everyone else is wrong: very severe in judgments, while rationalizing own actions

He has a weak Two wing (they can be “overbearing, patronizing, presumptuous” while Nine is reallyyy not him), but by the end, he mostly lands at just a solid healthy One:

Conscientious with strong personal convictions: they have an intense sense of right and wrong, personal, religious, and moral values. Wish to be rational, reasonable, self-disciplined, mature, moderate.

[anghraine]

⭐⭐⭐ :)

Three stars! Well, then.

#1: from the words are all escaping (Tumblr / AO3)

Even in bed, they slept tangled up instead of sticking to the careful distance they once maintained. They’d been too starved and nervous to dare more, at first. But when they had nightmares, or worked themselves into dead exhaustion, or got sedated for some reason or another, Cassian would curl himself about her, and Jyn started to feel cold and uneasy when he didn’t. She didn’t say so; that stayed the same. Instead, she yanked him hard enough that he ended up sprawled over half her body, face against her shoulder and arm braced over her waist. They both laughed, but they did sleep that way more often than not, mostly because Jyn rested better with an arm over his unguarded head or back, and Cassian with her heart beating against him.

Huh, never realized this paragraph was that long. Anyway:

I am (obviously) a total sucker for the bed-sharing fanon, and since the now you’re the future series (/Script AU) is kind of the core post-Scarif storyline for me, I definitely wanted it there. And I wanted touch starvation alongside it, because it’s pretty probable, but I wanted it to be deeper than just saying the phrase.

And I always see them as a bit codependent (especially in this universe), so I tend to like the idea of not just sharing the bed but wrapping themselves up in each other. And I wanted to highlight that as a character thing—have it not just mentioned in passing but to go over its evolution and their reasons for it.

But I can’t say it wasn’t mostly influenced by @sempaiko​’s lovely picture here.

#2 from First Impressions (Tumblr | AO3)

And of this place, I might have been master. With these rooms, I might now have been familiarly acquainted. Henry looked around in a sort of daze. Instead of viewing them as a stranger, I might have rejoiced in them as my own, and welcomed to them my uncle and aunt. But no—he caught himself—I should have had to force her to invite them.

This passage existed in my head from very early—before I really even started brainstorming in earnest. It was one of the things that made me want to write it, actually, because FI is partly my gay love letter to Darcy, but partly playing around with gender roles and expectations. I retold the story as much like the original as I could specifically so the changes due to gender would jump out. And this was definitely one of the main ones for me.

In the original, of course, Elizabeth thinks that she would not be allowed to invite them and her family would be lost to her. And she thinks that because she still thinks Darcy is a controlling, bad-tempered asshole in his domestic capacity, as well as merely snobbish—that’s why Mrs Reynolds’s testimony matters so much. Some of that is there with Henry’s view of Catherine.

But the idea of Henry meekly accepting Catherine’s dictates (even if coming from the same fundamental inclinations on her side) was ludicrous. They’re his family; of course he’d insist on them being invited to Pemberley, whatever Catherine privately thought about it.

Understandable as that might be, though, the shifting framework of power and control made this straightforward reversal of the original passage pretty nasty to me. Forcing Catherine to do anything is a pretty repugnant thought—even something she should do. And I wanted it to be a little chilling in that way. 

#3: The Jedi and the Sith Lord (Tumblr | AO3)

Spoilers for … idk, anyone who might read my f!Luke series but hasn’t gotten to this?

It’s the third part of the series, which has mostly followed canon in plot. However, at the end of the second, Vader convinced Lucy to surrender and go into carbon freeze as the price of Leia et al’s lives. They are now en route to his castle.

The girl couldn’t be expected to see reason, not yet; she couldn’t be permitted to remain with her Rebel friends; she certainly couldn’t be left to the tender mercies of the Emperor. It’d been all Vader could do to convince him that a daughter might be of any use at all. At the slightest inconvenience, Palpatine would end her life and her great potential.

No, there had only been one alternative. She must be kept here, within his own stronghold on Vjun, safe from the rest of the galaxy, and under his control.

He would have liked to test her, but his first priority had to be capturing her, and that accomplished, transporting her to Bast Castle, out of sight of the Emperor. 

So. I wrote the end of the second fic in a rush (to meet the deadline for the exchange it was part of), which is … probably apparent. In particular, I didn’t really develop the rationale for the twist ending of The Imperial Menace, and that’s what I was trying to do here.

The thing is, I usually prefer to accept and confront aspects of canon I don’t like rather than headcanoning them away. So the premise of the Lucyverse (beyond f!Luke) is that the extreme male domination of the OT (+RO, later) reflects a very real male domination in the GFFA, especially in the Empire. 

That has to square with the PT, where we did see a lot more women, but it wasn’t difficult; the whole idea of the OT is that things have gone drastically downhill with the rise of the Empire. A new government sweeping away the moderate achievements of the previous one was not difficult to imagine, even back then. And it seemed most likely that a drastic shift in policy would come from the top down. 

So the change operated on the assumption that Palpatine is profoundly misogynistic, while Anakin/Vader thinks it’s one of the many ways in which Palpatine is wasteful and inadequate. And that’s what’s going on in his head now—he would have preferred an elaborate trial, but his main goal was removing Lucy from both the Rebellion and the Empire until he could turn her to the Dark Side. 

And take over the galaxy as father and daughter, obviously.

[anghraine]

fic masterlist, ranked by kudos:

3. but thou didst not leave his soul in hell (AO3 | Tumblr | Dreamwidth)

— “But Thou Didst Not Leave His Soul in Hell” by George Frideric Handel

The one where Vader seriously considers Luke’s proposal on the second Death Star.

(Star Wars || Anakin Skywalker and Luke Skywalker || ROTJ AU || T)

[anghraine]

Sometimes I wonder how the Luke-is-completely-Soft-and-Pure people miss the symbolism of Luke's duel with Vader on Dagobah, where the mask pops open and it has Luke's face

Well, anon, a prophetic vision of his face inside of his father’s helmet clearly suggests that Luke is just an innately incorruptible replica of his mother!

[anghraine]

I’ve gotten a bunch of new followers recently and I’m not sure why—but regardless, hi!

Run-down: my name is Elizabeth and I’m a 30-odd, US American PhD student. I study 16th-, 17th-, and 18th-century British literature, primarily 18th. I also kind of hate academia at this point, lol, so you’ll see a lot of complaining about it unless you block #ivory tower blogging.

I talk reasonably often about mental issues; I have autism, bipolar II, and anxiety, and my general tag is #rare breed of attack unicorn.

I write original fic in addition to fanfic and angst about it; the tag is #original fic rambles, and vaguer stuff is just #writing. Rambling about my fanfic is under #fic talk.

My main fandoms and other tags include:

- Austen—mainly P&P the book. The tag is #austen blogging. I usually tag by character, and also tag #lady anne blogging for Darcy stanning and otp of otps for Darcy/Elizabeth. Wank is under #austen fanwank. I dislike the 1995 P&P, and grumbling about it is under #pride and prejudice 1995.

- Tolkien—his writings only. My faves are Gondor (#ondonórë blogging) and the Stewards (#húrinionath), and I (predictably) have a towering resentment of the films’ treatment of them, though I can admit they’re good in some other ways (tag: #lord of the rings movies). The main tags are #legendarium blogging and #legendarium fanwank. I also have strong feelings about Númenor and am firmly pro-Faithful (#númenórë, #team faithful). My main ships are Faramir/Éowyn (#otp: and the sun shone), Faramir/Aragorn (#otp: love was kindled), Andreth/Aegnor (#otp: nirnaeth arnoediad), and Aegnor/Andreth/Finrod (ot3: await us there). My favourite character is Faramir and my Faramir-centric tag is #jewel of the seashore. The Amazon prequel is under #tv: lotr.

- Star Wars films—I don’t like them all, but I like a lot of them, and find them all interesting in some capacity or another. The main tag is #star wars and the wank tag is #sw fanwank. I’m not a fan of expanded universes & grumping about SW’s in particular is under #sweu critical. I think the ST is okayish and tag it as #tfa for ts. I’m largely here for Anakin and Luke (#cleft chins psychotic rage and cyborg hands), Luke and Leia (#the skywalker twins), Anakin and Luke and Leia (#the skywalkers), and Jyn/Cassian (#otp: welcome home). Also, I have the main SW tag and assorted others blocked for my peace of mind, so I’ll only see SW posts if I’m tagged in them.

- ATLA/LOK—I like them both! My main tags are #avatar: the last airbender and #avatar: the legend of korra, with wank for both under #lok fanwank (I was in LOK fandom first). My favourite characters from LOK are Korra, Noatak/Amon, Tarrlok, and Kuvira, all tagged by name (#noatak for Noatak). My favourite relationships are Korra/Kuvira (#otp: i see myself in you) and Noatak and Tarrlok’s (#the bloodbending brothers). Zuko is my fave from ATLA, but I like nearly all the main cast. I vaguely ship Taang and Zukaang, but not enough to talk about them much. I have a lot blocked, so again, probably won’t see posts unless I’m tagged.

- I don’t talk about it very much any more, but my favourite show is probably The Borgias. Whenever I do post/reblog Content, it’s under #political shenanigans and codependent siblings. Historical Borgias content is under #magnificent bastards of the vatican.

- More general wank is #general fanwank and particularly inane posts are under #deep blogging.

[anghraine]

I’ve gotten some 25 followers in the last few days and have no idea why, so ... um, hi? Anyway, a general overview of The Blog:

My name is Elizabeth, and I’m a suffering PhD student who occasionally writes fanfic/ original fic/meta on the side. I’m also in my thirties and got into fandom around 2003 via livejournal and forums, so ... I don’t mind young people following me, but I’m an adult and I think of my audience as adults. I tend towards a) determinedly enthusiastic or b) grumpy and salty, with little in between. 

I’m mainly a Star Wars/Austen/Tolkien/ATLA+LOK fan, among other things. I should probably say that for me, SW = the films, Austen = her writing, Tolkien = his writing, ATLA+LOK = the shows, and I reallyyyy don’t care for “well, actually, in the expanded universe” and the like. Otherwise, (civil) comments and asks are fine!

Tags for all this stuff:

General self-explanatory organization: #anghraine babbles, #anghraine whines, #anghraine’s meta, #anghraine rants, #anghraine’s fic, #anghraine’s blogkeeping. Replies to people are under #respuestas.

I tag specific fanfic posts by their titles, though I have a few tags for more general verses (#lucy skywalker for my f!Luke Skywalker universe, #pemberley and such for my canon-compliant P&P fic, etc). Discussions of fic rather than fic posts themselves are under #fic talk. Original fic angst etc is under #original fic rambles.

SW: general tag is #star wars (you can probably see that I’m a very original person), while the tag for wank is #sw fanwank. The only ship I really care about at this point is Jyn/Cassian from Rogue One: #otp: welcome home. Apart from them, I’m mostly interested in Luke and Leia (#the skywalker twins), Anakin and Luke (#cleft chins psychotic rage and cyborg hands), and all three (#the skywalkers).

Austen: general tag is #austen blogging and the grumpy tag is #austen fanwank. I tag the adaptations by date, but am aggressively indifferent to nearly all of them. Like a lot of people, I mostly care about Elizabeth (#elizabeth bennet), Darcy (#fitzwilliam darcy in general and #lady anne blogging for extra stanning), and Darcy/Elizabeth (#otp of otps).

Tolkien: general tag is #legendarium blogging and the wank tag is #legendarium fanwank. I’m primarily a LOTR fan and specifically a Gondor fan (#ondonórë blogging) and Stewardist fan (#húrinionath). My favourite character is Faramir (#faramir, #jewel of the seashore). My main Tolkien ships are Aragorn/Faramir (#otp: love was kindled), Faramir/Éowyn (#otp: and the sun shone), and Andreth/Aegnor (#otp: nirnaeth arnoediad), with a side of Finrod/Andreth/Aegnor (#ot3: await us there).

ATLA/LOK: general tags are #avatar: the last airbender and #avatar: the legend of korra. The wank tag for both is #lok fanwank (I was in LOK fandom first). I like a lot of ships, but the one I have the most ~emotions about is Korra/Kuvira: #otp: i see myself in you. I also have very strong feelings about Noatak/Amon and Tarrlok (#the bloodbending brothers). For ATLA, I like Toph/Aang and Zuko/Aang, but don’t really have strong feelings about any of the ships—I just love the show.

Non-fandom specific grumbling/wank: #general fanwank.

Academia stuff: #ivory tower blogging.

Lesbian stuff: #a treeful of monkeys on nitrous oxide.

Brain stuff (I’m bipolar, autistic, and have anxiety): #rare breed of attack unicorn.

General shallowness: #deep blogging.

I have a few sideblogs. The main one is cesarborjas, for Borgias stuff (exclusively The Borgias + history), but I also have hurinionath, for Stewardist stuff, andreth-and-aegnor for Andreth/Aegnor stuff, and andacielos, for Skywalker stuff.

I have other standardized tags, so just let me know if you want to know other ones! Anyway, welcome :)

[anghraine]

I’ve gotten a bunch of new followers over the last ... day and a half for no discernible reason, so:

Hi! I’m Elizabeth, and I’m mostly into Austen (especially Darcy/Elizabeth), Tolkien (especially Gondor), and Star Wars (especially Skywalkers + Jyn/Cassian), with the occasional detour into other fandoms.

I’m also a PhD student, so sometimes fandom is my getaway and I’m very ... present, sometimes I’m up to my ears in research, and either way, I often flit around as time/energy allows.

I tag pretty faithfully: the main ones are #austen blogging, #legendarium blogging, and #star wars (with #austen fanwank, #legendarium fanwank, #sw fanwank, and #general fanwank for more ~controversial material). 

For my faves: my Darcy stanning tag is #lady anne blogging and my Gondor tag is #ondonórë blogging, with my specific stanning of the Stewards under #húrinionath; my Skywalker tag is #the skywalkers when a bunch of them are involved, #the skywalker twins for Luke and Leia content, and #cleft chins psychotic rage and cyborg hands for Anakin and Luke.

I like the SW sequel trilogy, including TLJ, and most of their characters, but I try to tag all related content under #tfa for ts for those who don’t.

I tag random shit I say as #anghraine babbles, particularly grumbly posts as #anghraine whines or #anghraine rants, and more serious meta as (wait for it) #anghraine’s meta. Academia-related stuff is under #ivory tower blogging. My fic is under #anghraine’s fic, and talking about fic is under #fic talk. Replies are #respuestas, meme responses are #meme prattle, and general shallowness is #deep blogging.

Some ships: 

Darcy/Elizabeth (#otp of otps)

Jyn/Cassian (#otp: welcome home)

Faramir/Éowyn (#otp: and the sun shone) and Faramir/Aragorn (#otp: love was kindled)

Andreth/Aegnor (#otp: nirnaeth arnoediad), Andreth/Finrod (otp: between thee and me) and Finrod/Andreth/Aegnor (#ot3: await us there)

Korra/Kuvira (#otp: i see myself in you)

Cesare/Lucrezia (#otp: you cannot kiss your reflection)

Fanny Price/Mary Crawford (#otp: a kind of fascination)

Luke/Han/Leia (ot3: group hugs)

Harry/Luna (#harry x luna)

Laura/Carmilla (#otp: through death and after)

Finn/Rey and Finn/Rose (#otp: what are surnames and #finn x rose)

I have other tags, so feel free to ask if you want to know about any others!

[anghraine]

I, uh ... whoa. 

Thank you, everyone. I’m not really sure what you’re all doing here (lol, except the ones who have joined me to cry over Rogue One) but I appreciate it!

If you’re new in these parts, a quick run-down:

Elizabeth

30

US American. I live near Portland, Oregon, and grew up on the northwest tip of Washington. ¡Viva Cascadia!

Progressive / feminist / firm Democrat.

Queer (ace lesbian), white (Greek/Irish/English), gender is ???? but I roll with woman (she/her), autistic, bipolar, etc.

I have a BA and an MA in English literature and perpetually exist in some form of grad school hell.

I like Tolkien, Austen, Star Wars, The Borgias, and Avatar (among other things, but those are the big ones) with a particular soft spot for angry/abrasive main characters, tormented villains, and combinations of both. Also, character parallels!

I dislike the LOTR films, the 1995 P&P, Tom Fontana’s Borgia, antis, and tie-in materials. (Please feel very free not to talk to me about the EU.)

Overview of The System (aka my immensely creative tags):

personal or fandom chatter that falls short of meta: #anghraine babbles 

replies to other people: #respuestas

replies to compliments in particular: #nice things people say to me

meta: #anghraine’s meta (with #not my meta for meta I like but didn’t write)

fic: #anghraine’s fic

recs: #anghraine’s recs

grumping: #anghraine rants

petulant complaining: #anghraine whines

blog stuff: #anghraine’s blogkeeping

gifs: #gifset for ts

music: #my little piano: music is magic

things that amuse me: #a thing of beauty is a joy forever

language: #linguistic stuff

grad school: #anghraine goes to grad school

my undying love for my home: #cascadia ftw

the sea: #eärnilmë (and occasionally #aldilmë for trees)

Greek-American shit: #ellinoamerikana blogging

mental illness stuff: #rare breed of attack unicorn

sexuality stuff: #a treeful of monkeys on nitrous oxide

birthday things: #beware the ides of march

politics: #politics for ts and (in most cases) #us politics for ts

I’ll make a fandom-specific tag masterpost at some point, but some relationships I care about:

Elizabeth Bennet/Fitzwilliam Darcy: #otp of otps

Jyn Erso/Cassian Andor: #otp: welcome home

Luke and Leia: #the skywalker twins

Anakin and Luke: #cleft chins psychotic rage and cyborg hands

Cesare Borgia/Lucrezia Borgia: #otp: you cannot kiss your reflection (also tagged with #incest for ts)

Rey/Finn: #otp: what are surnames

Noatak and Tarrlok: #the bloodbending brothers

Korra/Kuvira: #otp: i see myself in you

Aegnor/Andreth: #otp: nirnaeth arnoediad

Faramir/Aragorn: #otp: love was kindled

Fanny Price/Mary Crawford: #otp: a kind of fascination

Faramir/Éowyn: #otp: and the sun shone

Carmilla/Laura: #otp: through death and after

[anghraine]

“but thou didst not leave his soul in hell” - fic

As far as I can tell, I never got around to posting my most popular SW fic over here. Whoops? Anyway, written years ago at LJ for the prompt we would all be fools to pray for justice. 

fandom: Star Wars

stuff that happens: Luke and Vader’s conversation at Endor goes a little differently.

characters: Luke Skywalker, Anakin Skywalker (appearing as Darth Vader)

length: 841 words

warnings: Vader? 

Palpatine had sensed Luke as a vague disturbance in the Force. Vader, though, sensed not a ripple but a presence, burning high above the ordinary hum of galactic life. Soon enough, the sense of his son's existence became a sense of Luke, himself, emerging from the chaos of the Force. By Hoth, that personality had taken on a distinct shape. From this distance, Vader could not read his son's thoughts, and he could not say he knew him particularly well. But he knew him. He knew that Luke's service to the Rebellion was fueled more by attachment to his friends than youthful principles, just as— Luke was driven by loyalty. If his friends were endangered, he would risk anything for them. Very well. Later, as he left Bespin, Vader managed to reach out to Luke, his son's brief reply echoing oddly in his mind. He could sense Luke more clearly than ever—and then he receded into the far reaches of space. Yet in the months that followed, Vader felt his son's presence growing not only stronger but closer, Luke's mind reaching towards him and then swinging away, into a morass of bewildered confusion. It was probable that Luke had become almost as familiar with Vader's mind as Vader was with Luke's. Now, Vader glanced at his son, strolling fearlessly beside him. He mentally upgraded the odds to “almost certain.” They'd only met once, and now it seemed more than theft—a twisted miscarriage of nature. “Come with me,” Luke said. He looked little like the boy he had been at Cloud City, still less like his mother, yet for a moment, Vader could not help but see her face superimposed over Luke’s scarred one, hear her begging, Come away with me. Help me raise our child. He had failed her. She had died—not at his hand, Palpatine had obviously lied about that, but Vader had not saved her, and others had snatched their child out of her dead arms. He had failed her in this, too—what was likely the last request she had ever made of him. “Obi-Wan,” he said, “once thought as you do.” “Obi-Wan.” Luke tilted his head to the side, considering his lightsaber in Vader’s hand. “Really?” No. No, he would never have given up his weapon. It was Padmé who showed up unarmed. “Search your feelings, Father. I feel the conflict within you,” Padmé’s son was saying, as Obi-Wan had not, as Padmé herself had never had the power to. Almost, he said, there is no conflict. But Luke would know it for a lie. He simply didn’t realize that there were points beyond which one could never turn back. Even if it were possible to break Palpatine’s grip—even if there were any point to abandoning the Dark Side—Vader could never leave the Empire for the justice of an unforgiving galaxy. Luke’s rebellion would ask no questions, offer only a swift death, and perhaps he deserved no better. You have come too late for me, child. “We can leave,” Luke was saying, urgency running beneath his level tone. “Even you cannot think your Rebel friends—” Vader stopped, looking at Luke’s strained face. He could see his own beneath the reconstructed bones, even more easily than Padmé’s, hear his own desperation in Luke’s voice. Not the desperation of join me, but of I can’t let her die. Luke had said nothing about leaving for the Rebellion. He had not even pressed him very hard to leave the Emperor or the Dark Side. And not far away, a Rebel fleet had gathered. Still more Rebels had slipped onto the surface of the moon. Luke was not merely making some misguided attempt to save Vader's soul. He was trying to get him off the Death Star. Trying to save his life. “Of course you couldn’t go to the Rebellion,” Luke said, a little impatiently. Yet he had given every indication that he meant Vader to go with him. “You intend to leave the Rebellion.” “I have already left the Rebellion,” said Luke, “by coming here. Father, if we get off the Death Star, we’ll be fine. We can go home. I hate it, but it’s easy to hide there—two more cyborgs won’t be anything unusual. We can figure out what to do after that.” “Tatooine?” Vader suspected that even his crimes were nothing to those of half the population of their home planet. Few hoped for justice there, and none expected it. There were masters still on Tatooine, but none of them his own. No Palpatine—at least for a time, if he did not die today. The Empire but a distant rumour. His child who had shown not the slightest trace of obedience, just the unconditional loyalty Vader had always given but rarely received. There would be nothing there, except him, and his son, and a planet full of slavers. I dreamed I freed the slaves. Vader waved his hands at Luke’s shackles and tossed his lightsaber at him. “Follow me,” he said.