#cock and spirk

[firstofficerkittycat]

trans kirk to me means spock excitedly telling him how many decimal points his dick has grown since they last fucked (yesterday)

[die-young-and-destitute]

tried to say "Kirk and Spock" to my dad but failed massively and went "spirk and cock" to which my dad gave me the most spockish eyebrow raise ever and now everytime I talk about star trek he laughs at me

[serious-goose]

ah yes my favorite og ship... spork and cock

[helpmebbg]

me, about to bring up spock in a conversation: ok you got this his name is spock first officer spock commander spOCK do not mispronounce his name again i swear

me: so yknow that episode where spirk-

[show-stoppin-enby]

I cannot BELIEVE the media lesson we’ve just had. Sir decided to spend the last 10 minutes introducing us to theorist Henry Jenkins, who talks about Fandom, an area in which I am familiar, believe it or not.

There is nothing quite like having a man old enough to be your grandfather try to walk you through the concept of slash fiction using Spirk as an example. He’s not a trekkie, he just knows that it’s popular and therefore relatable to the Youth.

He showed us some brilliant fanart of Spider-Man. And the 10th Doctor in Princess Leia’s bikini. And mpreg Spirk. Again, to my knowledge, he is not in fandom, these are just images he found on the internet.

[pathetic-gamer]

devastating! local man meant to say spock and kirk, said spirk and cock instead

[spacelazarwolf]

I saw a photo of kirk and spock and thought to myself "ah yes, spirk and cock" and didn't bat an eye so I felt the need to tell you immediately

i am so glad you did god bless spirk and cock.

[jennelikejennay]

If you're not one of my Spirk friends, hide your eyes 🫣

The rest of you, it's Vulcan biology time. I want your opinion on Spock's cock. The cock of Spock, as it were.

When considering how Vulcan genitals are arranged, most fic authors pick one of these three options: either it's very like human junk but green/ double ridged/ self-lubricating/ all of the above; or it hides in a sheath when not in use and gives you an exciting surprise later; or there are some kind of auxiliary tentacles called fra'als which join in the fun, often also including a sheath for handy storage. Only once did I see a fic that was none of those. Villi were involved and I can't picture what it was supposed to look like at all.

So I'm asking: using whatever metric you like (sexiest, most biologically interesting, most plausible, etc)...

[inthuu]

i guess we can all be sad that their name is Spirk and not Cock

[angelphilic]

cock and spirk...starship enterprise....

[transsexualbloodlust]

spirk and cock

[twinkboimler]

Writing Patterns

Rules: list the first line of your last 10 (posted) fics and see if there's a pattern!

Thanks @m-b-w for the tag!

Leonard figures that it’s just going to be one of those weeks after he burns his toast for the third morning in a row. (Place Your Hand In Mine, AOS, mckirk)

There was only so long a man could keep quiet when a tongue like Jim Kirk’s was lapping enthusiastically at the head of his cock. (Desk Job, AOS, mckirk)

Jim can’t remember the last time he chose to return to his childhood home. (Just Relax, AOS, spirk)

Jim yawned as he walked out of a meeting at Headquarters. (office hours, TOS/TOS Movies, spirk)

Leonard had already come once. (ruined, TOS/TOS Movies, spones)

Jim steps off the transporter platform, squinting against the afternoon sun as he tries to spot the rest of his senior staff in the crowd of people milling about at Starfleet Headquarters. (will my heart be broken (when the night meets the morning sun), AOS, spirk)

McCoy had insisted that they spend shore leave together, which was how Spock found himself alone with McCoy in a cabin in Rabun Gap, Georgia in the middle of winter. (tight-knit, TOS, spones)

It had taken two long, awkward conversations and an entire bottle of Andorian ale, but by the end of it, Jim, Bones, and Spock had figured out that what they really wanted, had wanted for years, was each other. (calling home, TOS/TOS Movies, mcspirk)

“This will help keep you warm.” (yet to be discovered, TOS/TOS Movies, mcspirk)

It isn’t the first time the Enterprise has visited a planet that embraces hedonistic behaviors, and if Leonard’s being honest, he hadn’t expected that to be a common occurrence when he first signed up for Starfleet. (Observations, AOS, mckirk)

Well, these sure were smuttier than I was expecting. Sorry about the whiplash from 1 to 2 lmao

Tagging: @strangenewwords, @ncc1701ohno, @antspaul, @ladywaffles, @gunstreet, and @spirkme915

[themarvelliteraryuniverse]

What if they kissed? [For Beast/Sabretooth.]

Send "What if they kissed?"

He tries everything. Well, except for bodily harm, which he has to admit is a lot harder than he thought it'd be. He needs Hank to talk, he needs Hank to be his in with the goody-two-fucks.

Victor paces around his kitchen, tonguing the inside of his cheek. Thinking. Planning. Then he has one. One that is crazy and he's not all convinced he can stomach it. But... well. Part of being a good predator is being patient. And this would test his patience to no fucking end.

He returns to Hank with a glass of top shelf whiskey and just taps it to his shoulder before he climbs, unceremoniously, over the back of the couch to sit down. He drinks himself, not really listening to whatever the fuck Hank was talking about with star ships or star wars or cocks a spirks.

Finally, he's had enough and reaches out to grab the back of the guys head. His hand fists in knots of blue and forces his head back as he leans closer and kisses him. It's different, it's weird.

But, all in all, not bad.

He lets him go as soon as he grabs him, then stands to get more to drink.

"Now shut the fuck up, or I'll put something else in yer mouth, got it?"

[adrienmelon]

I submit to you: Words That Could Be Vulcan Names And It Wouldn’t Even Be A Stretch

Glock

Shrek

Cock

Spook

Lasik

Spank

Twink

Sock

Spirk (see what I did there)

Chuck

Thank you for coming to my 3am Ted Talk.

[sitzfleischh]

Shoutout to Heather just now who tried to say Kirk Spock and instead said

"Spirk Cock...Hm... Well, need I say more?"

[diplonimbodocus]

omg i just read your aos lee spock fic and it was SO CUTE!!! if you ever have the time or interest, do you think you could do one with tos spock? maybe with some spirk there ? No pressure ofc!!!

Hello thank you so much!!! Honestly you don't know what that means to me! I'm so glad you enjoyed it!! I have written you another little one featuring our wonderful tos boys, and I want to thank you for the ask because I've never written for these two before and it was a really good experience! Sorry it took so long, I just wanted to have it finished before I answered! Thank you again and love to you <3

Here it is~

"And he was so stubborn - well, you know what he's like - that I just had to do something about it. I lunged for him, and it's been the longest time, but he actually fell to the floor, laughing." Jim chuckled, as the lift slid, whirring sleekly between floors. "I really shouldn't be telling you this, he'd kill me."

"Laughing, captain?" Spock questioned with a straight face, the slightest cock to one eyebrow.

"Really, Spock. I'd bet you can hardly imagine our good doctor cracking a smile, never mind a laugh," Jim grinned, laughing more.

"Why laughing, captain?" Completely glossing over the latter remark, Spock remained curious.

Jim started as if to reply in humour before stopping short and turning to his Vulcan friend with a look of curiosity himself.

"Well - laughing, Spock. He was laughing because I tickled him, that's why."

The eyebrow came back down surprisingly fast.

"Ah yes. That most human of phenomena," Spock said, clasping his hands behind his back.

"Well it's not just human, Spock - all kinds of Earth animals are prone to it. But yes, I'll give you it is a bit unusu-" and at this moment, Jim looked at his friend anew. "Are you telling me Vulcans don't have this?"

"Would you be surprised, captain?" Spock answered, eyes on the elevator floor.

"Yes, I suppose not..." Jim looked pensive, and then the doors opened.

The two men walked along the corridor, eventually coming to the captain's quarters. The doors whisked open to let them enter.

Once inside, Kirk paced near the small desk area.

"Now Spock, with regards to the last mission, I think we really need to get our reports coherent to each other before we submit to Starfleet."

"Agreed. I can give you a detailed overview-"

Jim suddenly interrupted. "I'm sorry Spock, I just - is there really no tickling on Vulcan? Not even the children?"

Spock thought for a moment before he answered. "It is... abnormal."

"A-HA! So there is ticklishness in vulcans then?"

"... somewhat, yes."

"So it's the children? And you, what - grow out of it?"

"Vulcan children are born much like human children - they have many of the same traits. However we are raised and trained very differently. We learn to process all physical sensations, logically, from a very young age. Most parents, as I'm sure will be obvious, do not indulge in the practice. It is, illogical."

Jim's face fell. But then, "most parents?" He looked up with a glint in his eye. "What about yours?"

Spock locked eyes with his captain, one eyebrow cocked in a way that gave Jim a distinct feeling that he was in some way being defied.

"I had a vulcan father, and a human mother. My parents were not 'most parents.'"

"So you have experienced it! Something in that really - well - really tickles me, I have to say!" Jim's face gleamed as he laughed.

Spock stood uncomfortably quiet, seeming to deliberate.

"Cheer up, Spock, I won't keep pestering you. At least you've grown out of it!"

Jim clapped his friend on the arm jovially, but the vulcan continued to focus thoughtfully at a point on the ground, as if thinking about something.

And then the penny dropped. Vulcans cannot lie.

"Or have you?"

Spock must have heard the change in the captain's voice, as his eyes bounced up to meet Jim's with a deep and guarded look.

"Are you ticklish, Spock?" Jim grinned.

"Decline to answer," Spock replied.

"Don't pinch me - that's an order, Mr. Spock."

"Do you intend to abuse your power as captain of this vessel, undoubtedly loosing your rank and career in Starfleet, simply to test your hypothesis, captain?"

"If that's what it takes to get you laughing, Mr. Spock."

This game of cat and mouse continued, the two taking a waltz of slow and careful steps around the room, ever just out of reach of one another.

Jim's face was enthused and predatory, a look often seen when faced with a challenge. Spock's was unreadable, his feeling unknowable, save only for the fact that he could easily have called everything off had he really wanted to.

Jim, sensing his chance, lunged. Spock, as always, had reflexes finely-trained, and jumped backwards to dodge the grasping fist, however Jim, anticipating this, went in after with a second arm. He caught a fistfull of his regulation uniform in his fingers, and yanked the taller man firmly towards himself.

Caught off guard, Spock stumbled forward, right into his captain's open-armed grasp. There was a beat in which Spock did nothing.

"We're about to find out if you really are still ticklish, Mr. Spock," Jim said, and clawed at his friend's stomach.

Immediately Spock went stiff, stood upright and then crashed backwards onto his ass, looking dazed. He curled around the fingers currently trying to tear into his soft front flesh, twisting a little this way and then that way with each wiggle of the digits.

Jim could not keep the smile from his face. Spock was squirming! He continued pinching at the first officer's stomach as well as throwing some in sporadically to the sides.

Spock had begun to shudder, his eyes clamped shut with the ghost of a smile tugging there and at his lips. Just when matters couldn't get worse, Jim suddenly used both hands to attack.

"Hahah!" Spock let slip a surprised laugh.

Everything stopped, and Jim took a moment to stare at his friend in wonder and delight, before saying carefully, "Spock?"

Spock remained unmoved from his position, eyes shut, body curled and statue-still, a half-smile still visible. He seemed unwilling to comment.

"Not got anything to say?"

Nothing.

"Oh..." Jim said, though his tone was still playful. "I guess not. Suppose you'd rather do something else instead? Like this!"

Jim dug in again with new vigour, this time pinching all along Spock's sides, and the vulcan was on the floor, turning from side to side with the widest smile imaginable, but he kept his mouth shut.

"Oh come on, Spock! Where's that laughter? I know you have it in you," Jim teased, grinning all the while.

Spock suddenly shook his head, the first he'd responded to any of this.

"No? You're not gonna let me hear it?" Jim took little pinches at his tummy again.

Spock shook his head again, convulsing.

"That's too bad. Guess I'll just have to continue."

By now Jim was straddling his first officer, using gentle pinches all over his upper body, but when he kneaded his fingertips into his lowest ribs, Spock practically leapt off the ground, and finally Jim found that laughter.

"C-captahahain!" He pleaded.

"Bad spot, Spock?"

"Ahah ahah hahahahaha!"

"I'm going to take that for a yes," Jim smiled triumphantly, kneading in even deeper, and Spock was beside himself. "Now that wasn't so hard, was it?"

Spock's hands had come down to wrap firmly around Jim's wrists, but so far had done nothing else.

"Remember your orders, officer," Jim put on his captain's voice through the hilarity.

At this, Spock seemed to deflate, arms and shoulders going limp as his hands loosened their grip and fell away. 

"I'm impressed, Mr. Spock! But let's see how long you can hold out doing that."

Jim kept massaging those low ribs with his thumbs, using the other fingers to scratch at the sides, catching other ribs higher up. Spock acted as if electrocuted, his spasms unable to save him from the ticklish onslaught. His laughter had started deep but was getting higher.

Suddenly, Jims fingertips were moving down, exploring that expanse of waist that had come exposed during the struggling. His short nails scratched against the flat plain and Spock hit the roof.

"Hahaha!! N-no, captahahain!!" He bucked, only really succeeding in throwing himself further into the attack.

"Oh? Is it particularly bad here?" Jim grinned, giving it an extra good scratch, Spock pushing into it and shaking his head simultaneously.

"S-skihihin! Skihihin!!"

Jim looked down, and for the first time considered the skin-to-skin contact.

"Do you want me to stop?" He withdrew immediately, worried he might have gone too far.

Spock heaved some breaths, unable to engage right away. After a moment, he opened his eyes and looked directly into Jim's gaze. He looked there for a time, unreadable, and then, unbelievably, cocked an eyebrow and said, "captain, don't presume to think you have broken me. I assure you, it would take much more than anything you could provide to do so."

Jim's mouth fell open as he grasped for a response, but he quickly recovered enough to beam back at his first officer.

"You said, "no, stop", your words!"

"A reflex reaction, and unfortunate," replied Spock, as if he hadn't just a moment ago been completely undone.

Jim stammered, dumbfounded. "And what's all this about skin? I don't understand you."

"Ah. That. I..." And finally Spock was showing some shyness. "It opens a slight telepathic connection."

Jim beamed with the dawning realisation. "Ahhh, I see... And that makes it worse?"

Spock said nothing for a moment, and Jim now noticed the slightest of greenish colouration in his cheeks.

"I'm afraid nothing could be worse than your attempts to get more than a surface-level, knee-jerk reaction from me."

"My attempts?" Jim asked delicately, whether curious or offended, it was hard to tell. "Are you telling me my tickles didn't tickle enough?"

Spock simply tilted his head as if to agree, and that said it all. "I believe the earth-phrase says, 'if the shoe fits'."

Jim snapped his mouth shut and switched to his captain face.

"Where was that spot again... Oh, here," and he locked eyes with Spock as he touched his fingers onto the bare skin. "You'll regret that, Spock, I promise you. Can you feel what I'm thinking? Can you see it?"

Spock said nothing, but the nervous look behind his eyes, the green in his cheeks and the tension like electricity radiating through his skin let Jim know the message was getting through.

"Are you ready to give me some more of those wonderful reflex reactions?"

Laughter filled the room once more as Jim got to work, undoing his vulcan.