#coincided with my cptsd manifesting in crippling depression‚ triggering my bipolar
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I think sometimes you just have to make peace with the fact that your actual hobby is collecting books. And that that's okay.
#i used to devour eight books a week up until I was about 22#i couldn't fathom leaving anything in the house unread#then it's like my brain maxed out#coincided with my cptsd manifesting in crippling depression‚ triggering my bipolar#and hitting that mid-20s adhd wall where all your coping mechanisms fall apart#it's just been getting worse ever since#i can no longer read anything but fanfic#i was able to make a great headway through alexis hall's work but then I fell into a hyperfixation again so#bye bye everything else#i couldn't read comics even when I was back to hyperfixating on comics#i can't absorb things and when I do I can't hold them in my head#i used to be able to pull out entire passages of my favourite books from memory#now I can barely remember what happened in them#sometimes i wonder whether it even mattered that i used to be such a voracious reader#sure it gave me writing skills but i was never able to do much with them because of the complete mental and physical breakdown#and people young enough to be my kids write better than I ever did#i still have the thirst and hunger for knowledge and stories#but no capacity for it at all#books#reading#just adhd things#actually adhd#burnout#book collection#knee of huss
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