#crownedcorrespondance

[pissylittlebirdboy]

Your daughter did zomething.

Take a wild guezz.

- @lower-management

Abby told me.

Give me your finest nightmare fuel, doc, I’m feeling fancy!

[pissylittlebirdboy]

Uhm hey dad, I‘m here to safe you…. Are you alright?

something smoldered from within the house. it was a smoking demon, vaguely peacock shaped and fluffy, picking at its legs. it was slightly larger than a goose and didn’t seem to notice the little duck.

it then heard the voice. its head jerked up, searching for the source. it saw a vaguely yellow shape and screeched at it.

[pissylittlebirdboy]

they appear. Even if you don't see them at first it's quite obvious, as with them a strong sound of buzzing appears as well. They seem in a good mood, which probably isn't good seeing as they're holding one of Ulysses' feathers, freshly blinded.

Hello there.

he nearly jumps out of his skin his tail shoots open, it’s eyes darting around frantic. his back is turned to the demon. maybe it’s just another figment of his imagination?

he looked through one of the eyes on his tail.

fuck.

he turned around slowly, wincing as he did. his knee was still broken, after all, even though it hid under the baggy clothes he would’ve once scoffed at and allotted to be only for low class peasants. he forced himself to take a deep breath and smooth out his very much ruffled feathers. his main eyes, freshly with bags, assessed the situation. he finally caught sight of the feather.

his head crest flattened against his head as the unmistakable look of both a child who knew they’d done something and must now face consequence and, if one squinted, pure, A-grade terror.

f u c k.

he took another shaky big breath and tried to scrape together some semblance of composure.

…hey.

//kfp2 reference omg!!!!!!

[pissylittlebirdboy]

Hello Ulysseus….

Like I heard you are home again…

my name isn’t Roman. It’s just Ulysses.

yes, Ellie?

[pissylittlebirdboy]

*they appeared, wings out and spread upen, mouth in a grin. They put their hand out towards the thing which was supposed to be Ulysses*

Hello there. Calm. You zshall be forgiven for breaking the bindz of our deal.

his senses clear out. he can smell smells, hear sounds. he stops writhing, his vision clears. his body stops flaring.

he sees his Lord.

his body flares again. he makes a low clicking sound. he’s in a very primitive state of mind, fueled by fear.

[pissylittlebirdboy]

And don't think I forgot. Unluckily for you, I never forget.

believe me, I know. thanks for the fly swarm nightmares for the past few weeks, though. really loving the five hours of sleep a week in addition to the broken knee. thanks to mikey for that one.

I need to go destroy things. fuck fuck fuck FUCK FUC

[pissylittlebirdboy]

I waz wondering, what would happen if I were to deztroy one of yer little featherz? Would it hurt ya?

not a bit. they’re like hair or nails. tugging on them when they’re connected to my body hurts, but destroying them doesn’t. nice try.

the best I can do when they’re disconnected is see out of em. I take a peek on occasion. Right now, they’re in a desk next to some moldy cheese, a pair of smashed sunglasses, and… a long white flight feather. like the ones used for quills. that’s… weird. none of my business if you have a thing for higher beings though.

[pissylittlebirdboy]

*Ulysses started to feel something moving in his throat, then, suddenly, it completely closed up, amd when he tried speeking only a faint buzz came out.*

he groaned internally. this was of course accompanied by the cold sweat that came with a sudden, horrible realization. fuck, fuck fuck fuck fuck. why now? surely none of his companions understood sign language, nor would Ellie. fuck.

[pissylittlebirdboy]

BIRD FRIEND! _(:3 」∠)_

Are you awake? I missed being in your presence for short amounts of time! You wouldn't believe all of the crackers you didn't get to eat! I have a whole stack of orange juice you didn't drink! ヽ(°〇°)ﾉ

*they grabbed a box full of orange juice, cracker packets and.. rainbow sprinkles?*

I saved everything you didn't eat or drink! It's not like I had much of a choice anyway, it's incredible how much entertainment you can find in chucking stuff into boxes during house arrest! In fact, there is a whole box with furniture in it! (o＾▽＾o)

You know, I made two entire new friends while you were "honk shi mimimi-ing"! (It's supposed to mean sleeping) One of them put me under house arrest, but they're forgiven! And the other is really cool! And he gave me a latin nickname! I like latin! ∑d(°∀°d)

I appreciate you… so much, and that’s nice, but please stop talking and get me a bowl to throw up in. I feel nauseous and I think the flies are exploring again.

[pissylittlebirdboy]

Perhaps this delicious oatmilk latte with almond syrup from @pret-a-metatron might change your mind about killing me?

Though we've never met, we have somehow gotten off on the wrong foot. But I'm sure we can remedy that with chinwag over coffee, like civilized beings.

I can smell out drugs, you know. so if that is anything but coffee, you will be receiving a polite talons-to-the-face, in response.

Unfortunately, I am a sucker for sweets. I will be taking the coffee. I will not be taking your name off my enemy list. Try harder.

And don’t ever say ‘chinwag’ again. It makes you sound like more of a wrinkled old cunt than you already are.

[pissylittlebirdboy]

I muzt have forgotten, but when did I give you permizsion to zend mezsagez and zigning them in my name? You could cauze a war.

I assumed you were on board. Also, I never wrote your name, and you never told me not do anything. Nobody really knows what the emojis mean. You can’t get mad at me for breaking a rule that was never set.

[pissylittlebirdboy]

You... uh... still alive over there, bud?

wheeze

everyteing hurts and I have no autoeney control

I crave death

[pissylittlebirdboy]

You might wanna get your little duckling before she makes a deal with Beelzebub

What.

[pissylittlebirdboy]

I‘m scared of @the-metatron. He said smth like that no one older than 5 is safe from him :( I din‘t even know how old I am

I think you’re probably seven or eight. However, you’re a duck, and you’re also one of mine, so he will be getting a sword-shaped piece of my mind if he tries making a move on you.

[pissylittlebirdboy]

ATTENTION ALL FREAKS

it’s me.

For whoever’s sake, we will not hurt any of the good angels. We will probably sit them in a cozy book nook with lots of yummy things and many baby ducks. Calm your asses.

@the-archangel-squad @the-metatron @sandalphonsgoldteeth @uriel-on-ice @michaelwiththegoodhair @theangel-aziraphale @urielwiththegoodhair @the-angel-muriel

in regards to any and all Morningstars and/or Abby, please notify us if you want your Angel/s put in the book nook and if they have any snack requests.

please note that the book book will contain a yuan-ti (@youroneandonlysnakelady) and her mothfolk girlfriend (@ittybittymothgf), as a precaution.

[pissylittlebirdboy]

*they appear, holding one of Ulysses' feathers in their hand*

Perhapz you didn't think you'd zee me thiz zoon, did you? But don't worry, I'll make it quick. After all, I got placezz to be.

he jumped, the weapon he’d been sharpening clattering to the floor. He took a breath and regained his composure, though the distrust (read: fear) in his eyes never faded. after a brief bow, he sat and looked up at his lord. ugh. just thinking about the word put a bad taste in his mouth.

what is my task, my- eugh* lord.

* weird throat cough noise, almost a wretch