#csnt keep not living like this either

[triglycercule]

i have so many completely stupid drafts on here. like wdym triglycercule you think nightmare's gang but its all just a bunch of killer varients is interesting. the gang would completely fall apart like that. "if the mtt had mr beast levels of money how would they spend it" ?????????? NIGHTMARE'S GANG REMINDS YOU OF GRU AND THE GODAMN MINIONS???? FRON DESPICABLE ME?????

and then there's like the 10 different random drafts about how much i love mttpoly and the mtt. and then the random 4 different ones about error and star sanses and cross because i dont even know at this point.

i gotta admit though i kinda cooked with the relative proximity of characters theory. "two or more characters which are depicted together in official/fan works frequently are likely to be good ships." yeah youre right triglycercule its called being a popular ship why the hell do you think its popular if its not good. see now this applies to ALL ships except mttpoly???? mtt are drawn together like 80% of the time and suddenly theyre not a poly 🤨🤨🤨 i say slander because people ship bad sans poly like its water in a desert. this is SLANDER

[gemwolfz]

totals really good visual au and postcanon au, ba 𓅽 yami and akh 𓅜 atem, They are based on simplified versions of ancient egyptian conceptions of the soul but unfortunately i am not well versed enough to explain it personally. and total has not used tumblr in years so it can't explain either. I can throw you the wikipedia page for now also totals rudimentary explanation is somewhere in the live gem reaction tag

actually total offered to write its own explanation so that'll be under the cut along with its art hooray!!!

okay hi so basically:

ygo doesny seem to give a shit about how souls work in egyptian myth but. basically, it would be funny if yami was a ba while appearing to yugi (not while possessing him obv). hes comically small and unintimidating but still a force to be reckoned with. its pretty much just a visual au and im genuinely surprises no ones done it yet?

akh-atem is different, i havent watched dsod yet so maybe that would fuck with canon compliance but. if you dont know, an akh is a complete, elevated soul created by a special union between the ka and the ba. i dont believe everyone in egypt got this treatment (it was a very specific and lengthy process) but atem is a cool guy he deserves it. Mildly fucks with canon but i imagine some of the remaining tomb keepers perform the necessary rituals until the creation of his akh is complete.

though atem was already chilling in the afterlife as a ba, now hes like. one with the gods. a being of pure light with insane amounts of power that can travel between earth and the afterlife (bas can already do this but shhh). what is he going to do with this? probably pay the living he knew a visit. sometimes. domino city is a bit far from egypt and atem is really trying to relax now. still, he is watching over yugi in this state and trying to keep him safe even if yugi has no idea. he can also appear in dreams! and i think he can make himself known when he is visiting earth though 1. he is scary 2. he is selective so he doesnt ever do it unless he has to. i have a scenario in my head where yugi visits atems tomb and tries to give him something (cards maybe) abd then hes like. damn i miss him. and atem flies down from the heavens as bright as the sun and jyst shows up in front of yugi and is like HOLY SHIT YUGI HI and yugi is reasonably horrified at first. luckily being a powerful ascended spirit doesnt change your personality

INFO on the akh design in question:

- i had to make my own buuut it resembles an ibis (has a human head of his likeness too). However akhs can take any form they desire. atem can look like his old self if he wants. you just csnt really fly around like that ykno

- usually, only his two Main Eyes arw open. his forehead eye opens if hes doing some scary magical spirit shit (his other two will be closed).

- his wing eyes only open if he is showing himself to someone (letting them be able to see him, making himself known), or threatening someone (im sure he has his reasons). each individual wing eye produces INSANE amounts of light and when all are open van give him the appearance of being a pure white glowing being. It will also burn your retinas right off. he is one with the sun after all

- atem is human in the afterlife. he only becomes a fucked up shadow bird if he needs to travel down and hang out on earth and stuff

[sugar-omi]

i’m gonna gnaw on ur cove sim xoxo BUT THE SKIN OVERLAY IS FHE GAIA SKINBLEND AND FHE HAIR IS WISTFUL CASTLE MORGYN OMGG

my sim has 2 crotch monsters BUT THEYRE GROWING UP IM SO SAD cove and my mc r the oldest sims in my game IM SO UPSET PLS and dude when i first made cove and my mc in the sims THEY LITERALLT AOULD NOT STOP KISSING LIKE ALL THEY WOILD DO IS KISS AND SMOOCH AND WOULDNT TAKE CARE OF THEMSELVES 💀 and i had to put my sim on birth control CUZ SHE KEPT GETTING PREGNANT I CSNT TAKE 3 KIDS

YESS OMG TY IMMA GO DOWNLOAD THOSE RN 🏃 🏃 🏃

your sim is so freaking cute HONESTLY IM HAPPY MY CROTCH FRUITS ARE GROWING UP BC WE'RE FIGHTING FOR OUR LIVES IN THIS HOUSE BUT MY SIM IS PREG WITH THE 4TH AND FINAL BABY N IM KINDA SAD BC HONESTLY... ALL THESE KIDS ARE SO FUCKING FUNNY BUT I DONT WANT AN ARMY?!!

I love growing together, n how it adds more dimension to the infants especially n the toddlers, n honestly sims in general. but omfg it makes my life more difficult...

bro literally when in my first save w my cove sim. all they did was fuck. pls.... those mfs did NOT SLEEP!!!! ALSO LMAOOO NOT THE BIRTH CONTROL. YKW I THINK ILL DOWNLOAD SLICE OF LIFE OR WICKED WHIMS JUST FOR THAT. EITHER THAT OR TURN DOWN RISKY WOOHOO

I thought 35% was safe. but... they keep hitting that 35% so clearly not.... but tbh this is just confirming to me cove is very virile n can repopulate the earth by himself 💀🤭🤭

[cogbreath]

its very stressful and painful and honest to god heartbreaking when my mom tells me to avoid stepping in when my dad is being abusive bc she's worried he'll get worse towards her if i do . shit got rlly ugly tonight. im very very tired of having to just watch & hear this shit happen. im very tired of having to pretend it doesnt effect me. im tired of being made to stay out of the way im tired of being told to be nice to that man im really so tired. my whole life basically in this house ive had to live like 😐. i dont think either of them really realise how deeply this shit has broken me apart over and over again thru my life. ive been having to be the Neutral Mediator since my childhood with this. its very distressing for a child to have to tell their own mother that this shouldnt be happening. that its not normal.

i dont think any of them understand how often i/my alters think about Ending It For Good. why woildnt i? do you think the way ive grown up makes a person feel like they even have a future at all? especially when as a kid i was afraid he was gonna try that first and kill us both. i have a deep internal thought that i need to do it before he does ir first

my mom is still talking like shes on voard with having him move out of here soon but like. when is soon. soon is coming, right???

i csnt let that not happjen

i will lose it if that plan falls through

i dont rlly have any drugs or anyrhing to ease myself

i dont know what to do

shpuld i just run away?

i dont have anywhere to go. i have no friends no job nothing like that but this is just so painful to deal with. and. honestly. i cant leave her alone with him. i cant. i know my existence and presence does little to acrually help keep things from going worse; but i feel that if i wasnt here, it would get way way worse

my mom has so many breakdowns abt how nobody wnats to save her or help her

i do

i do

but she doesnt want to LET me. i dont know what she wants. i dont know what im supposed to do anymore. ive given all my advice. i tey to listen to her ans let her vent but its not enough i guess

[dballzposting]

I already made a post like this before but it's just that Trunks lives in the city and hes an only child until hes not and hes rich and he has an attitude for very good reason and throughout his life he definitely thinks that he can stand there with his hands in his pockets and exude confidence and that's just the natural order of things. But then Goten comes over with his rural sense of humour which has been slowcooked superbly over his years of backwater isolation and hes so weird and profound that Trunks cannot keep up and whenever he and Goten get together he finds himself either incapacitated on the floor or without a sense of who he is becasue something so not funny is suddenly so so so funny and he just csnt breathe. And that's why Son Goten has earned Trunks's #Respect

[tropicalscream]

got sober weed wore off snd now everything is hitting me all at once like a multi car pile up

my depression, my childhood trauma, my PTSD from so many different goddamn things, my intrusive thoughts, Donk moving far away, my massive touch starvation, the fact that everyone ive ever opened my heart to has either hurt me or left me or both

, rhat im considered a disgusting freak but the whole local trans community, the constant fat phobia, the dysphoria, my chest feels like a icy cavern of frozen barbed wires

no one loves me.or will, im broken, im terrible at everything im an utter failure, im a burden to my roommate, i cant find/keep a job im a disgusting bottle of shit i want to die and cut myself up so fuckin much but get yelled at but no ine wants to helpmme.live i cant even kill myself correctly im so scared and sad and i cant keep living like tjisni csnt keep living but i dint even have the absolute bare minimum of expecting othe rteans ppl to not treat me as bad as actual bigots

i csnt do this I can't do this inwanna stop i wanna stop olease letnit all stop and just fuckin end and die

[pinkadork]

Everytime i tty to keep going and move forward i crumble, fall back, and either cry to sleep or until breathing is hsrd and im lightheaded, like niggs i hate existing atp im never going to be happy im never gonna make him happy or anyone else for that matter. Nigga wanna tell me they understand they sorry and i appreciate the sentiment even if it all feels like bullshit. Everything feels like "just make sure keith doesnt off himself, so i dont feel guilty, or some other irrational bs that logically ik isnt true but me knowing that doesnt stop the feeling. I wanna talk to them like actuslly talk but niggas csnt evem let people know they talk to me still. I fucking dont wanna live anymore. I made everything the way it is, i didnt mean too, it doesnt matter, it happened, and now im gonna be the cutest nigga in a coffin

[d3athm3tal]

Here I am of course. God knows how often this happens. I think it may be the fourth time. I’m taunting myself with certain songs but all they seem to do is distract me. I feel, hollow. I can’t seem to stop crying, either. To be reminded every couple of months off of the person you love so deeply, intensely and fully, dosent feel the same is one thing. But to know people were in on it, to know it was my own doing too. Every night I would desperately beg her not to go anywhere and tell her that I couldn’t live with her. She would console me and tell me she won’t move an inch, and that I’ll always have her. I was terrified to go to her,to go near her because of this. Because of what is happening right now. She’s moved away from me because she has to. Like I told her it would. But no one ever listens to me, I know how this works. My sadness clashed with hers along with some mixed up feelings and a fucked up history- it wasn’t inevitable it would end in disaster. I suffered at night alone as much as I could so she would stay, so I wouldn’t push her away. I probably spared myself sometime even though near the end was cold and unfamiliar. Nothing like us. She terrifies me, and rightly so. She pulls me in and whenever I tried to move back she asked me not to, and I only wanted to move back beaches I didn’t wanna be 6 months in, hopeless. Like right now. I stayed because she thought we could work it out and I did too. We worked it out, we were Skye and Sophie. But you know, fuck her. I bit my tongue and held my breathe at times but I love her, she knows I do. Any normal person would get jealous and confused and possessive. Because she did confuse me, with her late night conversations and beautiful words and reassuring hold. Did she expect me to stay and totally pretend I didn’t feel how I did? I did well seperating it but there’s only so much a human can take. And it wasn’t jealous in the aspect in what most would think. I only got jealous because I knew she would want someone, and she could want someone. She would want any single person on this entire world that isn’t me. And she would get them, because look at her. I got jealous because they had the opportunity to have what I do badly craved, about what consumed my mind and taunted me, they would permanently get something I got a brief taste of which wasn’t even meant for me. I was just on the wrong end of a drunken mistake. I think that’s one of the hardest parts, knowing what I am missing. The laughing and the closeness and just all things her. I don’t think she realises how difficult it’s been all of these months. Swallowing that possessive side of me, tensing my fists because it’s a huge part of me. I envy anyone that is at the disposal of what I need, of what I so desperately fucking need and want. More so when the value and worth is not recognised to the extent it should be. I’ll probably never be okay with it even if I’ve moved on in years to come. I truly dread the day where I find out she feels the same way about someone that I feel about her, my eyes actually stinged writing that. And there’s a stabbing pain in my chest. I don’t even know if she’ll come close to feeling this strongly about anyone, I don’t know if anyone will and if they do good luck to them. I don’t think anyone in this world has ever loved anyone as much as I love her. I can confidently say that. And it’s so much more than romantic feelings, it’s every part and aspect. The friendship, our connection.

You see, every single part of me loves every single part of her. Even the bad parts. My fucked up hear still manages to create something so beautiful, perhaps the only beautiful thing it ever has or will. I would do anything to go back to may. Before your party, before my gaff and Meghans. Take me back to the night we stayed up on FaceTime laughing, when you would annoy me about a secret and we would text soppily until we fell asleep. Until my heart felt content with having YOU in my life. Regardless of feelings. Without knowing the feeling of having you close to me and having your hands against my face, without knowing that you doubted everything for a split second. Just knowing that the split second happened where you didn’t know how you felt happened made a world of different. I wish I didn’t know. Even though it genuinely is nothing and was nothing.

No I’ve changed my mind, take me back to March. Where I was so unsure of where you stood in my mind. When I got a little bit nervous the month previously because the bottle landed on us and you looked beyond perfect and I was nothing. Then when my stare would linger a little longer, when my back hurt from the shaky foldable chairs in the blue lit room as I nervously waited your presence on the stage. I shook my legs as my eyes scanned the many people until they shifted on to you. My heart beating so fast I could barley breathe and my smile stretching over my full face until my head hurt. I was in awe of you clasping that book with your curled blonde hair and that little blue bow sitting perfectly on top. I was happy. I loved you being happy and doing what you love and I just wanted to be near you. I was so excited for your FaceTime that night.

Ive noticed I’m talking directly to you now rather than about you. I guess I always get scared when we’re directly talking about it. I just can’t hear your rejection yet again. Im stuck now you see sophie. Because my soul is clinging to yours with every bit of strength I can muster. My heart knows to be near you, for the good of my heart let me be near you. But for the saving of any pain coming my way to let you go. I know it’s what you want. I am heart broken. I am broke. To have all of those late night FaceTimes ripped from me, to have the one person that phoned me until I answered,that held me til the sobbing stopped, that reassured me until I believed you. You’re palming me off with the rest of the group hug I’ve tried to let them in before and they just go on their way after it. They don’t check up on me, they don’t notice me not eating or sitting with my earphones in, they care when I tell them of course but theyre not you. And that isn’t anything to do with my feelings for you. It’s just about our friendship. Loosing this friendship is the other worst part. You were the closest thing I had to a best friend. God you were. What am I going to do? I feel so lost. I can’t believe this has happened sophie. I thought you were different. And you can justify this all you like but it’s the brutal truth. You let me fall for you but promised me it wouldn’t get in the way, and it did. You told me my sadness wouldn’t come between us and it has. You said we would never move away from one another and we have. You said you wouldn’t hurt me again and you have. You broke every one of your promises. Cover it up however you like. This isn’t fixable anymore. I don’t know what to do because I know this is it. Even if we were to come back into one another’s lives it wouldn’t be the same. Because I won’t be able to trust you with me anymore. You said you would protect me from the pain and the numbness and the voices. That you would destroy them and keep it out but in reality they couldn’t touch me if you were there, they didn’t stand a fucking as long as my fruit bat was there. The only thing you needed to protect me from was yourself and you couldn’t. You couldn’t. So

I am gone sophie. I’m swallowed by this depression that catches me every so often, by this feeling of lost, I don’t know where I’m supposed to be, and I have been consumed by you.

My soul will forever love yours. Romantically, platonically, in any way.

I am so so so sorry it ruined us. You were my anchor but you just sunk with me. You’re really

Gone and I have gone with you. I love you so much. God I do. And I’d fall in love with you all over again. I’d love you in every other life I was in, I’d hurt again all over for you.

I’m so sorry

I’m so sorry

I’m so sorry

Please don’t go I csnt live with out you