#cuddles on the road let’s go steal shit from a dragon

[melhekhelmurkun]

Can I PLEASE just be held gently and tenderly by a muscular person >:(

[songofclarity]

For a character who was the catalyst for all the events of the novel WRH got way too little attention and show time in the novel heck we don't even get a face off between him and the protagonists. To me if JGS was a pig in a golden pigsty, JGY a sneaky fox, and XY a rabid dog, then WRH was a mighty dragon. He had all the makings of an amazing villain but that potential was wasted and imo that is one of mdzs' greatest flaws

Mighty dragon Wen RuoHan is so true, Anon!

The spoiled pig in the golden pigsty came out on top after the Sunshot Campaign. He had all the money, a beautiful family, and an intact sect, and yet he wanted all the power left in Wen RuoHan’s wake--as if the world hadn’t fought for three years to get rid of the original.

The treacherous snake who cuddled up to others to steal their warmth and yet bit to kill at the first sign of movement. He acted like that warmth was his due and he had no choice but to bite. Surely the actions of others would either do him harm or leave him cold! He tricked Wen RuoHan into believing their scales meant they were similar, but he only ever dreamed of being a pig in that golden pigsty. (There is a connotation of mischief and charm with “sneaky fox” that does not fit Jin GuangYao in my mind lol)

The rabid dog who was used to being beaten and yet would accept a warm bed and a dish of food from any kind hand. He won’t bite the hand that feeds him but he will absolutely maul anyone who threatens that warm bed and new home he found--or anyone who looks like an easy target for some fun and games.

And then there is the mighty dragon!

I've been trying to respond to this ask for a few days because I agree and yet I also kind of disagree on that last point. I find it hard to say Wen RuoHan’s potential was wasted because it’s his potential to do harm that kept the Sunshot Campaign alive but also his lesser-discussed potential to be influenced towards doing good that could have prevented a lot of grief. Although he didn’t get a lot of page time, his importance to the story is practically on par with Wei WuXian himself and he continues to exist as a specter of evil even after he is dead.

This quote comes to mind during empathy:

On Koi Tower, people came and went. Before Nie MingJue's high viewpoint, the crowd parted again and again, with both sides nodding at him in respect, calling him "ChiFeng-Zun." Wei WuXian thought, Such a show of extravagance is going to reach even the heavens. All these people both fear and respect Nie MingJue. There's quite a few people who fear me, though not a lot who respect me. (Ch. 49 ERS)

One of the major conflicts in MDZS is based on one question: who gets to be the next Wen RuoHan after the Sunshot Campaign? And the sane answer is that it should be nobody. The Sects are independent entities who should take care of themselves and work in cooperation without controlling each other. The Wen Sect was never actually in charge of the other sects so it’s quite twisted for the Chief Cultivator position to be created in the wake of Wen RuoHan’s death. Wen RuoHan is still a catalyst for events even after he is murdered!

More so, when people were saying they hoped Wen Qing would one day take over as Sect Leader Wen because she had a normal way of doing things, it’s because Wen RuoHan calling the former Sect Leader Nie over to passive-aggressively slap his saber a few times and tell him it is a good saber is just bizarre. Of course Wen Qing’s ways of doing things are normal!

Compare Wen Qing being angry:

"If you really are grateful then put in some effort! What [the] hell kind of medicine did you just make? Brew it again!" (Ch. 60 ERS)

To Wen RuoHan:

And, thus, Wen RuoHan wasn't pleased anymore...

Wen RuoHan laughed after he heard. “Are you sure about that? Well, I want to see.” (Ch. 49, ERS)

But back to the scene at Koi Tower, it’s funny that the one closest to becoming Wen RuoHan is quite possibly Nie MingJue, the one now respected and feared, the one who fought the most against Jin GuangShan creating the Chief Cultivator seat. Why did Jin GuangShan create the Chief Cultivator seat? Because no one was ever going to respect him or to listen to him, much less respect him and fear his power to let him do whatever he pleased. But even then, Nie MingJue had to travel to Koi Tower to point Baxia while he made his demands. Jin GuangShan and Jin GuangYao had to murder and lie and scheme to get what they wanted. Wei WuXian had to figuratively set himself on fire. Wen RuoHan simply had to call his target of his ire over and he came, and then he let fate run its course.

Wei WuXian, Nie MingJue, Jin GuangShan, Jin GuangYao--none of them ever held even a fraction of the power wielded by Wen RuoHan. A power shown when Lan XiChen and a bunch of other juniors looked at the waterborne abyss and didn’t even dare to speak the name of the Qishan Wen aloud. Our spoiled pig and even rabid dog look to demonic cultivation to gain that fear element since they lack the wow factors of a powerful cultivator. Wei WuXian and Nie MingJue end up dead because a spoiled pig and a treacherous snake want their golden pigsty to go uncontested.

So it’s hard to speak of Wen RuoHan not meeting his potential when all the Sects left in his wake never achieve a fraction of what Wen RuoHan had. And even then, at no point in the story does Wen RuoHan ever wake up in the morning and pick murder, although the same cannot be said for the likes of Wen Chao, Jin GuangYao, Xue Yang, and even Wei WuXian.

So what I’m getting at here is that despite Wen RuoHan’s lack of appearances, we learn a lot about him through other characters trying to either work for or against him or emulate him. And he does face off against one of our protagonists: Nie MingJue! Although that we don’t get to see their first fight in Yangquan when Nie MingJue was fresh is truly frustrating!

Because even though we do get a Wen RuoHan face-off with a protagonist, it’s his assassination that gets all the attention--and it’s because Nie MingJue avoids talking about traumatic experiences and Jin GuangYao already got what he wanted from that event. The mural at Koi Tower immortalizing the assassination of Wen RuoHan is a snapshot of the heroic Jin GuangYao taking out the Big Bad in a glorious moment. It was also, however, a huge red flag that Jin GuangYao is willing to murder someone who gave him respect, protection, and empowerment so long as he could use their blood to pave his road ahead.

I do have to wonder on the degree of Wen RuoHan’s villainy when he didn’t even bother to take the life of his son’s killer and he passed on the opportunity to torture him, too. But no one in the story talks about Wen RuoHan as a person. They talk about Sect Leader Wen as a symbol, and he becomes a symbol of evil.

Everyone becomes so focused on Wen RuoHan as the Big Bad that for all the crimes the spoiled pig and the treacherous snake perpetrate, the majority of the cultivation world responds with, “If this [evil act and/or abuse of power] was done by the Wen Sect, we would be really concerned. Since the people doing it are not-Wens, it can’t be evil and thus we can allow it to happen.”

And thus the Jin get away with doing a lot of evil. Lan XiChen can look at Jin GuangYao and say, “he has his reasons,” because Lan XiChen has been victimized by the Wens and Jin GuangYao murdered Wen RuoHan so surely there is a divide there between good and evil, right and wrong. This is a very convenient way for letting the Jin get away with doing a lot of bad things! Wei WuXian rescuing the Wen Remants, meanwhile, places him conveniently within the Wen-Sect-Is-Bad camp, and we all know how that goes.

So I do agree that Wen RuoHan had all the potential to become a great villain, not just because he has all the power and followers that let him do whatever he wanted but also because the cultivation world sold us the story of him being a monstrous villain who loved blood and torture. But when the other sects create an uprising against the Wen Sect and label it the Sunshot Campaign, not once does Wen RuoHan try to subdue them. Not once does Wen RuoHan ever turn to violence and punishment or slaughter. He had the potential to be a great villain and stomp on all of them! But he doesn’t.

And I don’t think that’s because his potential went unmet. That’s just his character. He is an antagonist with the potential to become a great villain and yet he stays his hand. His power instead draws villains to him like flies to honey. There’s a reason people wear their time spent as a guest cultivator of the Wen Sect with pride! Wen RuoHan is good to his Sect. The perks and benefits cannot be matched.

But it’s not only the dregs of society that come to the Wen Sect and abuse its power. Wen RuoHan has three morally distinct people closest to him that reveal that he has the potential to be well-rounded:

Wen Qing: speaks her mind, a doctor, refuses to kill, intelligent, talented in the liberal arts, accompanies Wen RuoHan to discussion conferences, pays her debts, won’t die for the main branch which is just an alternative of her don’t-kill policy which is don’t-die-for-stupid-shit-customs policy

Wen ZhuLiu: loyal to a fault, dedicated, obedient, was told to protect Wen Chao and does his job incredibly well because this is how he pays his debt to Wen RuoHan for saving him, doesn’t do anything unnecessary, doesn’t speak unnecessary words

Meng Yao: loyal only to himself at the end of the day, prideful, hardworking, scheming, ambitious, supports petty revenge, pro-murder, stabs as a warning, will sell you to satan for one corn chip, does not acknowledge owing debts to anyone but has the receipts on what others owe him

All three characters are respected for their talents and effectively do as Wen RuoHan tells them. Wen Qing leaves for the Yiling Supervisory Office and takes her rational mind with her. Wen ZhuLiu leaves to protect Wen Chao and leaves Wen RuoHan undefended. Meng Yao makes himself useful in Nightless City and thus stays closest to Wen RuoHan’s side. So who is the one speaking in Wen RuoHan’s ear the most? The one saying murder is OK so take revenge.

And even then Wen RuoHan still doesn’t take his revenge, I’m just saying.

But what I’m trying to get at on this scenic route is that Wen RuoHan is left with all this wonderful potential for a reason. Not only do we see his potential but other characters see it, too. His potential is turned into someone else’s profit. Nie MingJue claims that Wen Qing should have spoken up more, which implies Wen RuoHan has the potential for change or even to do good. The majority, however,  persist on not just his potential but his status as a great evil. The characters in the story make Wen RuoHan into the penultimate evil by a post-war consensuses. With that, the ceiling is pushed so high that other evils are able to bloom in the glass house they’ve made.

“Whatever we do can never be as bad as what Wen RuoHan and the Wen Sect did,” the cultivation world says as they let a mass murderer run rampant, as people are used for demonic cultivation test subjects, as prisoners of war are beaten and killed, as a dozen women are raped and murdered for petty revenge, as brother betrays brother, as a father murders his innocent son for political gain, as juniors are kidnapped and used as bait...

So absolutely Wen RuoHan was a catalyst for many events because people either wanted to be him, have him in their fighting corner, or kill him. He perpetuated events by wanting to correct the cultivation world as he saw fit by indoctrinating juniors in the Wen Sect ways or by setting up supervisory offices to prevent rebellious behavior. He delegated these tasks which put people in positions of power that they only saw fit to abuse.

But Wen RuoHan’s potential to be a great villain competes with his inherent lack of interest in causing death and destruction. I think that makes him not just a compelling antagonist compared to all the others but a fascinating character in general. Considering MDZS gets praised for all its morally grey characters, I don’t think Wen RuoHan should be left out of the conversation.

[vohalika]

hello, this is random but.. could u please tell me some of your fav things about vex? i don't often see people who Really Like Vex and we need more of that

Well, well, well, anon.

I have literally no idea how long it has been since you asked this of me, but rest assured I have not forgotten! Well, okay, I had for a while, then I saw it again and was like “oh, right, huh… And would you look at that, I’m about 100 posts away from 100,000… Wouldn’t that be a good one…”

So. Here we are! An unstructured rambling of all the reasons I really, really love Vex, somewhere between superficial and embarrasingly personal, to celebrate this arbitrary number of things I have spread around on this hell site.

Okay, first of all, the only thing Laura had to say to Kit Buss for the official art was “make her hot”. That is a Statement. And boy did Kit and also everyone deliver on that.

Like seriously. I didn’t use to be a fan of feathers in hair or white armor, but good god does she make it work.

Hey, I said this was going to be extremely superficial

Another thing I really didn’t use to like, twins. Overdone and usually poorly executed. But our girl made a Point out of being as different from her twin as she could be while at the same time being completely believable siblings.

I swear to god I’ll do my absolute best to mention Vax as little as possible. This is not about him.

Third thing I really couldn’t stand! The one, usually female, team member with a pet! Closely related to the one with the nature powers! I don’t know, these just always rubbed me the wrong way in media before, probably because I also never really cared for shows or movies about animals. Fight me.

And yet here she is, and she is not the “won’t somebody think of the children animals!” type of gal and Trinket is amazing and it still ties into her personality on a larger scale without being preachy.

I have a fourth thing. I also really don’t care for elves, ever. Everybody hates them. And then she turns around and makes me cry about the elf thing. Good god.

Yes, watching the first episode way back when was an uphill battle. There’s a reason I started with episode 69 and then watched the rest.

Nice.

Vex has the best worst sense of humor. No, really. I’m not even talking about that time she made a comment about the boy with the shot off fingers not having much of a future as a musician. But I’m also talking about that. And that time Scanlan tried having a meaningful monologue about having a daughter now. “I’ve defined most of my life by the people I slept with, and now…” - “Well, technically, this is still kinda defined by that.”

(Shoutout to Percy “I was just thinking that”)

Also, “We don’t do anything with dignity”, “I only serve gods with big dicks”, “You might live forever, but you will still be fucking ugly”? Girl is iconic, even if her sense if humor is usually pretty inappropriate for the given situation, she just can’t help it. I relate.

On a related note, it is so easy to play a similar archetype and have her just be this always dignified and above the humor kind of stuck-up. It’s basically how most people would have written her (and a certain someone did). But not our girl, oh no.

Also, I recently made a post about this, but we really, really don’t talk enough about how she’s just the leader of the party. She is. No, really, lower your bitch sticks, y’all. She’s the one to talk to the most NPCs, she’s the one to usually say go, and everyone just naturally adheres to her. It’s never forced, it’s never an “I, as the leader” moment, and she doesn’t try to wrestle her way into the role. It’s just what happens naturally.

Which also means she’s good at stepping back and letting other people shine for a bit. But still, Vex is the reason they didn’t just flounder around like a chicken without its head after Scanlan left. Laura was late to two sessions in campaign one; the first one was already in an extended battle scene, and the other was literally spent in a bedroom in hell waitinig for Vex to tell them what to do.

This is why scholars are generally of the opinion that Vex is the only Top in VM. And also what intellectuals refer to as Big Dick Energy.

Let’s talk about what the assholes call Greed. Yes, Vex is, out of all of them, the most pre-occupied with gold and loot. But she NEVER hoards anything for herself, never spends any of her own gold on herself even until the timeskip, leave alone the party funds.

She looks out for the interests of the group, makes sure they get the best possible deals and are paid what they are owed. And she’s the only one to ever worry about money, too, whereas everyone else never bothers to think about it. Hence why her and Vax split the cost of paying their staff after the party spent all the funds early on.

Look, I find her worries very indicative of growing up in poverty with her mom, than surrounded by rich and important people but locked out of the loop, and then poor and on the road again with Vax. I find it very relatable, and everyone who claims that looking out for the financial well-being of the party is “greedy” is lucky enough to never have had to worry about eating next month while also making rent.

There’s Safety In A Fist Full Of Diamonds, okay?

No really I need y’all to read that and send it to the annoying bitches who complain.

Vex is literally never stingy when it comes to helping people with the money she made sure they have. Remember how she didn’t even flinch at spending a five digit number to free angel boy slaves?

WHICH LEADS ME TO ANOTHER POINT. Vex. Vex has a serious hoarding problem. But not when it comes to money of earthly possessions. No. When it comes to PICKING UP STRAYS.

It’s how she got Trinket.

It’s how she got the angel babies.

It’s what she tries to do with the grey render baby.

It’s what she suggested they do with the dragon eggs in the Raishan fight

(LET! VEX! HAVE! PET! DRAGONS!)

IT HOW SHE GOT HER OWN GODDAMN HUSBAND OKAY.

I have no idea how she hasn’t adopted her own zoo by the time VM forms. Though I can totally see her opening orphanages in Whitestone, both for people and animals and creatures of all kinds, really.

Remember when she was the only one to protest the punching of a spectral ghost cow?

The hardships of her youth made her, yes, very afraid of being out of money, but also made her compassionate as fuck. She’s always down with helping people even if there’s little to no coin in it, okay? Stop overlooking that, assholes.

SPEAKING OF COMPASSION. Remember what her original beef with the Vasselheim potion seller was? That he took advantage of Grog being intellectually challenged. Which is what he did! Blatantly so! And he wasn’t the least bit sorry about it!

I mean, I bet he is by now, but, you know. Karma.

When Laura says Vex just wanted justice and then everyone else escalated that scene she is goddamn right, rewatch your own footage Matthew.

Oh god do I have to talk about broomgate now. I don’t want to talk about broomgate.

OKAY

Broomgate is literally the only time in the entire series that Vex ever takes something for herself. Was it the morally right thing to do? Maybe not. Though to keep in mind that a) Hardwick is a piece of shit, b) they literally met Gern when he had the skeletons of Kiki’s dead civilization dancing for him; Vax shanked Nothics for less, c) and this was hot off the heels of fighting a necromancer in the last big arc, too, d) they were on a mission to kill dragons. That fly. With no method of flying for the majority of the party. Vex always intended to use the broom for that purpose, so you could make the legal argument of commandeering it instead of stealing, and, finally, e) SHE HAD JUST FUCKING DIED

Why do we never talk about that

Other characters get cut all the slack for what they do after just dying

Other characters get cut all the slack when they steal from other guests

Other characters get cut all the slack when they withhold loot for the party

Other characters DIDN’T GET AN ALIGNMENT DROP FOR DOING WORSE SHIT THAN THIS

WHY ARE WE STILL TALKING ABOUT BROOMGATE

WHY WAS BROOMGATE EVER EVEN A THING

okay

okay

MOVING ON

Hey, while we’re at dying. Remember how Vex spent the day after she, literally, died, trying to make sure the person who was to blame for her death was okay? She did that. And Percy was uncomfortable with it, visibly so, but also too guilty to call her out here.

And no one. NO ONE. EVER. Bothered to check in on how she felt after dying.

Vax made it all about the sacrifice he made, Percy felt too guilty, NO ONE ELSE CARED.

And what does she do? Soldier on. Try and cheer Vax up and support him in any way she can.

Honestly, learning the Raven Queen book by heart and then telling him that being the champion of a god is really fucking cool? Relatable. Relatable as fuck. You go girl.

And TO THIS DAY. ACROSS TWO CAMPAIGNS. Vex has been the only one. THE ONLY ONE. To EVER check up on someone after they died. Jester might eventually be the second one, but, you know. I am a big advocate for post-death and just post-big-battle-in-general aftercare cuddle piles or whatever. Someone tell the cast to implement that immediately.

And while we’re at death, let’s talk about THE DARKNESS

There are dark facets to her character. Vex never makes her own issues everyone else’s problem and they go largely unadressed, but they’re there.

Saundor brought up the story about how she got Trinket and had to kill for the first time while doing so.

(Sidenote: Saundor doing more research into her character than an actual writer is extremely telling.)

That was definitely traumatic for a young girl and I don’t mean to dismiss that, but that’s also the part I can understand Vax dismissing when they talk about it later on. They do kill a lot of people after that and this was self-defense, so hey, okay. Fine.

HOWEVER

That short story was indicative of many other things that torment Vex. Mostly her low sense of self-worth.

Like, her entire inner monologue is centered around how stupid she was for getting into this situation in the first place (= for being taken advantage of by criminals at the tender age of probably like 15), and how this would never have happened to Vax, who was away in the city to take care of them.

And we see that low sense of self-worth bleeding into Vex’s character throughout the campaign. That’s part of the reason why she spends the day after her first death making sure everyone else is okay. That’s also part of the reason she blames herself for Scanlan leaving and acts like she’s completely fine when he returns just so he’ll stay.

Honestly that short story is so insightful and explains so much about her, I don’t know how anyone could claim to have any grasp on her character without reading it.

(Also, Laura should write more, she’s talented)

Now a significant part of her self-worth issues obviously also ties back into her time at Syngorn. I can just hear people getting out their tiny violins, oh, waaah, she wasn’t one of the rich, cool kids in elf school, poor her.

But that’s not entirely it?

Like, just that is already plenty to fuck a person up. I’ve been there, too.

But let’s just say the fact that her dad was also cold towards them and acted like they were unworthy is a BIG part of what fucked her up. Call it daddy issues if you feel like being dismissive about a genuinely traumatizing upbringing, but that’s how it is.

And don’t get me wrong, if this were the traumatic childhood olympics, it’s not exactly up there and relatively tame for the background of a character in a fantasy story, but it is very true to life and extremely relatable, and Laura just executes it so well. So, so well.

That’s part of what makes the entire stretch of Feywild episodes so great. From what we see of Vax’s reaction later on, Percy is the only person she ever talked to about this - or at least the only one who ever listened - and he immediately got it. And instead of yelling at her about how amazing she is, he did something to make her feel better about herself. Without making it about himself, by the way.

I enjoy a fake married plotline as much as the next gal, but Percy giving her a title she’d have to earn by her own merits is soooo much more meaningful than just putting a fake ring on her, okay?

Yes, at the end of the day, this is basically a Cinderella fantasy. So what? No, really. One of the best things about Vex and her arc is that it validates feeling upset about not measuring up in superficial, material ways. And it validates getting your come-uppance. These are, as mentioned above, experiences that can really mess with a person, but we’re usually supposed to be above it all because money and titles don’t make you happy.

Also something only people who never struggled financially can say/believe unironically and without specifying.

Hell, that’s about 70% of the reason I’m considering getting a Ph.D. if I happen to get the grades.

I’m also not a big fan of the term daddy issues, but I can’t deny that this is a thing here

not the thing they went into the Feywild for, buuuut

ahem

So. Remember when Laura said during the campaign wrap up that Vex thought of Scanlan as a father figure and everyone was like whaaaaat? And I was like ahahahaha, I knew it.

This is so tragic, really. Because she tried so hard so many times to help Scanlan and be nice to him and he just brushed her off. And then she’s the one who volunteers to spend the night all by herself in some dirty pub far, far away after opening up to his daughter about her own issues to bring him back alive, and then gets yelled at, and never apologized to.

And then he comes back and tries to erase her memory and not only is that never even brought up, she also just doesn’t even think she might be owed an apology because a) she still blames herself for him leaving because, you know, they never really talked out what happened there and b) she’s just too happy for at least that father figure returning to them to make much of a fuss about it, and Percy, bless his heart, TRIES, but it’ll take a few more years of marriage to talk through all of her issues

And like. I am not wild about anything that happens after episode 99. If I’m known for anything in this fandom on this platform it’s probably for that time I was really into the Ioun discourse, which I still stand by, btw. And I personally would have preferred for Vex to maybe get someone like Sehanine as her patron, as fitting as giving her yet another unworthy and disapproving father figure in her life might be

But there is also something somewhat gratifying about everyone talking about how great she is. And she had been sort of working for Pelor before that. Also, the headcanons about her having sun spots or starting to glow when she gets emotional after this are amazing.

So I made my peace with that. She deserves better, but hey, she always does.

She is so smart. So extremely smart. People roll their eyes at her battle plans and say it’s all Travis feeding Laura information, but Travis fed her nothing that time she schmoozed up to the Briarwoods while also making herself appear extremely superficial and unthreatening. Honestly. That dinner scene? Prime Vex. Amazing Vex.

Her battle plans are also so good. Pokeball-ing Grog out of the kill box? Using the Goristro against Vorugal to save the party a trip into the abyss? The only plan of Vox Machina that ever worked out basically perfectly? Amazing. And even IF Travis told Laura these ideas, that means literally nothing in relation to how smart Vex is.

And btw I don’t believe that for a second. People just aren’t good with acknowledging that sometimes, D&D playing women might actually have good ideas.

And she just is so street smart. With her skills, her battle plans, and just her way of handling people. There’s a reason she is the natural leader when it’s not someone’s turn in the spotlight at the time.

Like, the two things holding her back were that her class was extremely underwhelming, so much so that it got completely revamped in the Unearthed Arcana to make up for how bad it was in the PHB, and the fact that she just. Has, what. 1.5 episodes of her own storyline? Even Pike got 2. It’s amazing that I can even say this much about her with how little narrative focus she got throughout the series. And most of what she did was literally due to Percy using his plot clout and putting a foot in the door to force her into the spotlight.

Speaking of which. Percy’s best quality, next to being self-aware of how fucked up he is and actively trying to do better and be kept in check, is how he realizes Vex is the coolest, smartest, most amazing person around and treats her accordingly. The way she deserves to be treated.

Oh hey I mentioned to get this far without even mentioning the romance arc. And oh my god THE ROMANCE ARC. The pining. The slow burn. And the fact that we actually saw them together and later married for like 35 episodes. They were so good for each other.

And yes, PERCY WAS GOOD FOR HER. And Vex was not his therapist and manic pixie dream girl. None of that bullshit here. Percy was already firmly on the path to being better before he even considered that crush he has had on her for forever to turn into something more.

And by he was good for her I mean that he actually UNDERSTOOD her and where she was coming from. Refer again to the titling issue, where Vax is just confused and kind of pissed, Percy got it. And that’s important.

Something I have not made a post about so far, by the way, is also something people have called problematic and co-dependant is how Percy shares his darker impulses with Vex in hopes she’ll talk him out of it. Which she does, and it’s never hard, but that also means so much to her? Because he involves her and tells her exactly what is going on with him and values her opinion? And that is just exactly what she needs? And they’re so good? THEY’RE SO GOOD.

WHEN DOES YOUR OTP EVER

HE COULDN’T HAVE ASKED FOR A BETTER DREAM

This is more on Laura, admittedly, but also, it was just so great to see her unapologetically pursuing this romance? There’s a place at the table for a 72 episode slow burn, and she’s gonna go for it, and there’s nothing any of the dudebros who are just here for the fighting can do about it.

And also Vex is just so unapologetically sexual at the same time. From episode 1 onwards, really, and in general and just limited to Percy. And no one ever treats that as weird or bad or anything. It’s just who she is and that’s great.

And she fought. So hard. For that happy ending of hers. Kicking and screaming, against the world and against Taliesin’s determination that Percy is irredeemable and not capable of getting a happy ending. Defy that auctorial intent, my girl. You deserve it.

Seriously. Seeing her get that happy ending against all odds was unfathomably gratifying and validating and I’ve never connected to any single character or narrative at large for that matter this much and this intimately, and considering how I came across this story at one of the darkest times in my life, I probably never will feel so strongly connected to anything ever again.

Which is probably for the best, but hey. 

Aaaand there you go. An almost unstructured, epically long list of reasons I love Vex. Dammit, I talked about other characters way more than I intended, buuuut hey. That’s how it goes when you’ve got an ensemble piece, they’re all kinda interwoven.

Thank you this wonderful ask, anon, and reason to celebrate my 100,000th post on this site in style.

[sleepless-in-starbucks]

Also Roceit for the ship thing pls

Took me longer to get to this than I wanted but here we go-

Nose/forehead kisses: Roman! He loves to surprise his snek bf by stealing his hat and replacing it with a flurry of kisses.

Gets jealous the most: They both can get very jealous if we’re being honest, but I think I’mma say Roman. Deceit likes to be charming and sly with everyone but Roman just want those charms turned on him. He has before and will again just randomly pick up his Snek when he’s trying to interact with others and run away with him.

Picks the other up from the bar when they’re drunk: Deceit’s got this fun job. Roman’s a singing, nonsensical karaoke drunk to boot, so Deceit gets to lug Roman home while he just wants to shamble and sing Disney at the top of his lungs (he pretends to be annoyed, but he really isn’t)

Takes care of on sick days: I have to say Roman, mostly because his bedside manner is better for it. Deceit’s style is ‘I will help you while mocking you lovingly the entire time.’ Roman’s more ‘I will SLAY your cold in whatever manner I must including cuddling you despite the fact it’ll make me sick’

Drags the other person out to the water on beach days: Roman’s dragging Deceit in. Deceit just wants to nestle into the burning sand and pretend to tan, but Roman refuses to let him live this life.

Unprompted massages: Once more, we have Roman. It’s very romantic, you know, to randomly slide behind your partner and massage away all their tension. Plus, Deceit becomes a very happy snek.

Drives v rides shotgun: Roman falls into the category of ‘yeah he can drive but it’s better he does not’ like Patton, though Roman is not as safe as Patton. Deceit is almost always the driver, because he understands the rules of the road darnit, unlike a certain prince

Brings the other lunch to work: Deceit! Roman can be a tad forgetful when he gets a creative spark, or even just when he’s interested in literally anything that isn’t his food, and Deceit almost always finds a very sparkly bag sitting, forgotten, in the fridge. Deceit doesn’t mind bringing them to him though- it’s better than Roman starving after all

Better parental relationship: Oh, I’ve got to say Roman for this one! I can just imagine him hoisting their kids onto his shoulders, running around and slaying Dragon Witches (often played by a bemused Deceit) with vigor and excitement. He’d be a great parent tbh.

Non sexual role-play: Roman’s got an over-active imagination and he has a strong tendency to just want to be a PRINCE. Deceit normally counters him acting like a real prince with talk about the corruption in his kingdom and its set-up. They get into a lot of very in-depth political talks about complete fiction

Drunk dancer: Don’t be surprised when I say Roman. He drinks the drink he dances the dance and Deceit watches the entire thing torn between shaking his head and laughing.

Still cries watching the Titanic: Roman is a lovely mix between Patton’s ‘how could Rose let him die?!?!’ and Remy’s ‘that ass!! it deserved to live!!!’ Deceit doesn’t understand Roman’s response, all he knows is that when he points out it’s all fictional anyways it just upsets Roman more, so he mostly just hugs his boyfriend and pats his head and pretends this isn’t a little ridiculous

Believes in couple’s costumes: Roman, the actor, of course he believes in couple’s costumes! He thinks they’re cute and sweet and amazing! Deceit thinks they’re stupid and cliched. He still ends up going with whatever Roman picks seven out of ten times though. What can he say? Sometimes this is love.

Breaks the expensive gift rule during Christmas: Roman’s too extra to be confined by silly things like price limits. If he wants to buy Deceit an expensive cape or flashy jewelry than DAMNIT he’s going to buy Deceit an expensive cape and flashy jewelry! 

Makes the other eat breakfast: It’s a sad day when Deceit, the liar, always ends up as the responsible one, but Roman would rather traverse the Imagination all day than do silly things like take a break or eat. Deceit has before and will again chased Roman through the monster-filled forests just to get him a damn apple to munch.

Remembering anniversaries: This would be Deceit! For all his pretending to not care, Deceit never has and never will forget an anniversary. They mean too much to him, and even if it is a little silly (their love remains regardless of how long they had admitted that love after all) he knows it means a lot to Roman, and he’s willing to put up with it for himRoman, on the other hand, is terrible at remembering anniversaries, but he is GREAT at cobbling it together- Deceit surprises him to anniversary breakfast, Roman has a brief ‘oh shit’ moment, and one hour later he’s got a surprise so incredible it almost feels like he didn’t put it together that same day.

Brings up having kids- Following my ‘Roman’s an amazing parent’ agenda, I have to say Roman would. He doesn’t want to pressure Deceit or anything, but they should talk about it, and- well he just really wants them, alright? They’re cute and energetic and they like his silly games!

[dreamsanddreams88]

We bought chickens AND bunnies at the same time, really hectic,I was tryna cuddle the bunnies but they would bite sometimes. At one point, in AC origins game trying to hide in a house full of Roman ppl from one of the phylakites that was killing everyone indiscriminately, very scary. I was female character, did the cool thing where i cut ropes on a chandelier and rode the other rope up onto something, one handed. Then i was in airport with alex, we had gone to Japan but then I got freaked out cuz of Corona and we both forgot towear masks

I was in a thrift store and didnt like any of the stuff I grabbed so I went to put it back n leave cuz I was only on lunch break anyway, the shop girl made snide remark about my hair needing to be dyed? She was like, thanks for coming in, come back when ur hair doesnt suck or something. I said fuck you and your orange hair, cuz it was dyed red and faded, but I stuttered n she made fun of it. But then she followed me cuz we all had to go to some meeting? N she was a little nicer. Sat at these tables waiting for alex, we were about to see a show with a drag queen. It was in a mall or something

Was at west again but getting lost, then was back in 4th grade maybe? Looking for new class? Then I was starting to date alex but someone else like jenna was in the room with us, he was spooning me but trying to be secret, jenna thought we were fucking, also I took a shower w him but needed another one, I had taken like 3 showers that day. I was staying w my family somewhere in hotel maybe. Then saw this girl I thought maybe was his ex katie, creeped on her instagram she actually was mixed black girl w blonde hair, was cheerleader n basketball player, really badass and mean. Brian lemaster was in there somewhere. Ar some point I started drinking juice boxes filled with milk before remebering I was lactose intolerant

Dreamed I was signing up for a matchmaking service to get married? It was via snail mail, and it was all girls who were mostly indian I think, or maybe bosnian. One girl was named Imina and sent me some of my writing that she edited, I found it very snooty and rude. Also had accepted someone else before seeing I had a letter from her. Also something with different video games that were scary, but all took place in the same house. One was 5 nights at freddy's themed, one was victorian ghosts, etc.

Was going on charter bus with work and other ppl, were leaving my old house. Kept forgetting my earbuds, went back in to see maids deep cleaning the whole place. Bus went out into cold winter wilderness? I made friends w bus driver, guy looked like william h Macy a little bit. Then i was Rey, kylo ren had captured me and was gonna make me squirt bleach into my eyes so I'd be blind, fought him off and escaped thru the back of a cupboard. He was on island surrounded by stormy sea, freezing cold, and big blocks of calcium formations kept crumbling into it. Force ghost Luke Skywalker appeared to me to tell me death was real but I could escape. Then I was with jenna or sarah, went to hotel looking 4 my parents, nice old ladies were telling me they saw my lost mittens or something? I brushed them off super rude

Was in big house with mafia family. Lots of cars n helicopters falling out of sky, crashing thru glass ceilings. Trying to leave the house, calling business guy when a car falls on him owned by one of the mafia guys. Smthn with a chef from the house, hes really strict when teaching kids how to cook, indian food cant have lemon juice in it? I was licking the glaze off raw chicken and salmon

Was in Laos in war zone, Belgians were bombing the shit out of it and these rare plants called dragon plants were burning, it was way sad. Then it was xmas at parents house but also dads bday, had to help mom take down all xmas decor temporarily until we could open dads presents. Also I didnt trim my zucchini plants and one was like 12 feet tall. Then at work taking break on some huge metal train. Also something about being in some state or royal building, running or hiding from someone

Was with alex in old doornbos house, he was asking me who was in my "network" meaning who had I slept with. I said a bunch of people and he got mad, I was high and tried to explain it was in the past not current. Then I was in theater at the high school across the road, had an improv scene with abby thomas but hadn't rehearsed at all. Went to rehearsal, everybody from hs was there, dawson was teacher, saw shelby drive past. Then smthn about walking bay in the mountains, were super high up in the snow and saw other ppl walking dogs

Something about having traded bodies with ian brauer when we were younger? Or not even traded, I had somehow accidentally possessed him and then had to go to school and pretend like I was him, and then only when I concentrated really hard I went back to my own body which was passed out on the floor of my room.

In a school, had brought imhotep back 2 life n he brought back his gf so we tried running and hiding. Then he was darth Vader and he caught me. Then dream about being on wild ferris wheel kinda ride with mom and Lauren who was sometimes aunt ellen, then in a family of talking dolphins whose step mom was a whale, the dad was joking about how him and the mom might perish at the bottom of the ocean. Then something about a demon possessed lady

Scary dream 1st where I was out walking at night in the forest, looked kinda like lower area of ECOS. The light in a street lamp didnt work, had to use flashlight. Alex showed up with bay who was now a white shih tzu, a frat guy in skeleton costume ran over to scare us. Then I lived in this village/tribe, everyone had hotel rooms kinda. I was back in town going to everyone's rooms, my mom had a room next to mine but she was gone somewhere. Then we were playing guitars, I picked up someones weird acoustic base to try and play. Then I got invite from JC, him and his friends were having a joint wedding in 2026, invite looked like DND character sheet. I was in the forest when scary evil ash cloud exploded out from the ground, kinda like in neverending story or moana. Ran back to village and was safe inside this like, sacred circle? It meant that I was actually the next in line to be the tribal chief. The tribe purposely kept everyone's parentage a secret so it was like the whole village was our parents, but this meant my dad was this one rando young guy who wasnt even the chief? Anyway he hugged me and it was emotional. It meant I had this prophetic duty to defeat these creepy evil eels like in the little mermaid. The water/ocean was this weird quad, with each quadrant being a different depth and color blue. I had to scuba dive to the bottom on a certain date to fight them, matthew/mikey was gonna hold my breathing tubes or something? If I tugged twice he could pull me back up.

In world where mr bean guy was a king n had lots of bodyguards, he was taking on corrupt religious mormon police like in Utah who rode camels and abducted like 500 people for slavery.

Had private teacher lady for something, 8 of us. I couldnt concentrate on test. She gave me spare key to let her dog out, i go in her house and the skylights are open and room full of snow. Then she has dinner party with me, snape, Adonis, michelle/jenn, and a doctor. Ends in screaming match, I'm mad cuz Michelle keeps flirting w Adonis by dropping shit on purpose and making him pick them up. Then I go to doc about weird vaginal discharge and being depressed, hes kind of a quack and doesnt help or listen. Then I was trying to get job at restaurant but all the servers had been at the party and thought I was crazy. Also smthn bout seeing a concert and shawn goggins was in it, jc and elliot were there and I started laughing at him about how that was a girl he cheated on me with but she turned out to be a trans man so he had sex with a dude

I was in world like video game level, in a class w people. Started in weird castle that had secret passages, and then onto these floating balloons above black holes. Tried to jump from one to the other without falling, very scary. Then with alex in a hallway, waiting for some event to start. We climbed up to ledge where there was like a gem/ring stockpile, I started stealing them. Mcgonagall was there and saw us, I was too afraid of heights to climb down. Then event was starting but it was some creepy cult wearing animal masks, I had to pretend like I knew what was happening

[summerseachild]

Summersea’s GoT Season 5 2019 Rewatch

We’ve reached the season that made me rage-quit a show that had once been my absolute favorite back in May of 2015! That means I’ve seen about half of these once four years ago. So... here we go. 

5x01

1. WHY is Maggy the Frog sexy?

2. WHY is there no mention of the valonqar? Were they already planning Bran? Did they not think we could handle a word in another language? WHAT?

3. That scene with Jaime and Cersei at Tywin’s body hurts but SHE KIND OF HAS A POINT ABOUT JAIME KIND OF ACCIDENTALLY BEING A TEENY BIT RESPONSIBLE THO (on the other hand how could he have knoooooown Tyrion was going to KILL DAD?)

4. So... Varys is an immigrant who cares more about Westeros than most people born there, yes?

5. That poor Unsullied JUST WANTED TO CUDDLE

6. Missandei being to shy to say something to the tune of “whatever it is you can do I’d like to do it with you” to Grey Worm is... impossibly sweet.

7. HOW DID ALLISER LIVE THROUGH THAT? Slynt living is also not fair. What a waste of space.

8. Stannis’ offer to the wildlings is fair... underestimating how unlikely Mance is to kneel, but fair.

9. Brienne is MEAN to Pod here! I guess the losing Arya thing broke her a bit.

10. UGH SANSA RODE RIGHT BY THEM

11. Lancel’s actor BEEFED UP WOW

12. Margaery trying to watch out for her brother... what a good sister.

13. Daario 2 has a cute butt

14. Remember when Drogon got loose and Dany was worried that there was an ENTIRE DRAGON JUST FLYING AROUND SOMEWHERE?

15. Mance Rayder was a good person who cares about the Wildlings. All of them.

16. Jon putting that arrow into Mance’s heart while he was burning endeared Jon to me quite a lot.

5x02

1. Braavos is SO PRETTY! And the house of Black and White... so simple and stark. I love the architecture.

2. SHIPS THAT PASS IN THE FUCKING NIGHT?? Oh wait Podrick knows what Sansa looks like! What a sweet and useful boy.

3. Jeez Brienne intense much? Don’t frighten the girl.

4. “Why don’t you stay?  It’s dangerous on the road” is Littlefinger speak for “I am going to kill you in your sleep” and BRIENNE KNOWS IT.

5. So I wonder who in Dorne thought it was a good idea to send Myrcella’s necklace.

6. Jeez Cersei what do you want from Jaime? You wouldn’t LET HIM be a father to the kids.

7. Jaime offering to GO GET HER... and with Bronn! LANNISTER AND BRONN ROAD TRIP PART 2 HERE WE COME.

8. Today the part of Elia I will be played Doran and the part of Arianne will be played by Elia. it’s very confusing.

9. Doran’s casting is still SO GOOD.

10. ELIA DO NOT MAKE CERSEI RIGHT ABOUT HER LINE “EVERYWHERE IN THE WORLD THEY HURT LITTLE GIRLS” 

11. I remember so little of Dany’s story from this part... Mossador seems cool but is he secretly loyal to the sons of the Harpy??? I remember something about her being ambushed? (I was right about the ambush, wrong about Mossador he was always loyal to Dany in his way.)

12. Barristan dropping some truth about the Mad King = GOOD

13. Varys being like DRINK LESS TYRION

14. Qyburn is more useful than ten Pycelles.

15. AND FUCK YOU TOO UNCLE KEVAN

16. Shireen teaching Gilly to read is SO CUTE. And... Greyscale can be cured? The spread arrested? I thought Shireen just had a very slow moving case. How is she CURED?

17. Lyanna’s response to Stannis... your favs could never

18. His face when Stannis asks Jon if he wants to be legitimized is like ????

19. No one likes you Janos sit down

20. Sam’s speech for Jon... what impeccable delivery. Making them laugh at Slynt, making them remember how badass Jon is... smart boy.

21. Good to see you again Jaqen-no-one!

22. Why so PUBLIC with Mossador’s execution? What kind of idiocy is this READ THE ROOM DANY. And execute him QUIETLY as your advisers probably told you was a good idea.

23. Drogon’s like “wow this roof looks nice oh hai mom”

5x03

1. That interior of the house of black and white with the pool and all of the gods... so cool and creepy

2. HOW OLD IS TOMMEN ANYWAY?? What a sweet kid though.

3. The Queen off continues... and Margaery shoots herself in the foot. That was CERSEI TRYING TO BE NICE FOR HER SON’S SAKE. And you can SEE the moment Cersei’s like FUCK THIS IT’S WAR

4. OMG pooR traumatized Theon and EW flayed men

5. RIDE THE OTHER WAY SANSA

6. Littlefinger has clearly not met Ramsay fucking Snow. Otherwise nothing he says to Sansa here makes sense.

7. At least they had the decency to admit that Brienne had been nasty to Pod and have them actually start to develop a sweet friendship. And Brienne tells him the story of the ball and Renly :(

8. I like that we’re getting some Jon and Davos interaction. So much good hearted gruffness in one place!

9. Sansa’s arrival at Winterfell just... no

10. TAKE LORD JANOS OUTSIDE YES THIS WAS SO LONG COMING

11. Ok that scene with the high septon and the prostitutes in the costumes of the Seven was kind of hysterical

12. Stay away from the high sparrow Cersei my love...

13. Wow, Jonathan Pryce, how did they get you for this? You’re better than this nonsense but getting to see you and Lena in a scene together is a gift.

14. Ok I jumped at Gregor rattling around on the table

15. So... Littlefinger hadn’t heard much about Ramsay, and the bastard is on his best behavior when LF comes to Winterfell. That answers some questions

16. Holy crap Tyrion is a child playing with the windows that roll up and down.

17. We get to see Volantis???? Coooool!

18. What is a red priestess doing preaching that Dany is the savior? Do they each have their own pet theories about who AA is?

19. Tyrion is terribly good at getting kidnapped.

5x04: Jaime and Bronn go to Dorne and there are some people pretending to be the Sand Snakes

1. The theme of this ep so far is “Lannister brothers on ships”

2. Jorah stealing the boat and throwing silver on the poor dude 😂

3. I... think I might not have seen this episode because I have NO MEMORY of that scene where Jaime tells Bronn he’s going to kill Tyrion if he ever sees him again. My heart.💔 (I found my tumblr archive form May of 2015, and I definitely HAD seen it. I think my brain just protected me from remembering this because it hurt too much. 

4. I want a million reaction gifs of Qyburn being done or clearly having Thoughts Not Expressed

5. Do you know WHY the Faith Militant was disbanded Cersei my love? Cersei who is the mother of three of her brother’s children? BECAUSE THE FAITH HAD ISSUES WITH THE ALL THE TARGARYEN INCEST. What in ALL SEVEN HELLS possessed you to rearm them that kind of power?

6. I still HATE that the show makes the Faith SO MUCH MORE HOMOPHOBIC than it is in the books.

7. I’m going full on Lannister here because me reaction to Margaery bursting in on Tommen was BACK OFF, TYRELL.

8. LEAVE. TOMMEN. THE FUCK. ALONE. (Sparrows, Tyrells, EVERYONE.)

9. Jon writing to the Boltons for men even though he HATES THEM says a lot about him.

10. Mel just does a whole lot of sex magic doesn’t she...

11. I LOVE that we get a scene between just Stannis and Shireen where it’s obvious he loves her. And it makes me hate what happens later even more.

12. Sansa honoring Lyanna in the crypts is sweet. And LITTLEFINGER is the one who tells her the story of Lyanna and Rhaegar at Harrenhal?

13. Also how is Littlefinger assuming Sansa SURVIVES Stannis taking Winterfell from the Boltons?

14. EW HE KISSES HER AGAIN GROSS GROSS GROSS

15. I DEFINITELY HAVE NOT SEEN THIS. (Narrator’s voice: But she had)  I would have remembered Jaime saying he wanted to die in the arms of the woman he loves. (Narrator’s voice: But she didn’t, which didn’t bother her as much as it might have. It was like getting to see shippy scenes for the first time all over again.) 

16. THAT ONE SHOULD BE SLOW ENOUGH 😂 ILU BRONN

17. Jaime being obsessed with not starting a war makes sense because he ALREADY DID IT ONCE AND THIS TIME DAD IS DEAD.

18. And on the other hand Elia wanting to START A WAR I AM SO ANGRY

19. Obarra getting tell the story about the spear is cool though

20. BUT WHERE IS ARIANNE? STILL ANGRY.

21. Poor not drunk as he would like to be Tyrion. He’s quick though with recognizing Jorah.

22. I’m trying to imagine younger Barristan protecting his idiot prince who liked singing in public and it’s kind of fun

23. Well this is clearly a trap. Also that many unsullied should have been able to WIPE THE FLOOR with those sons of the Harpy even in close quarters.

24. Barristan Selmy: WHAT A BADASS. He’ll be missed.

5x05: And now my watch was ended because D and D did something awful in the next episode. 

As I mentioned before, after I rewatched the whole season, I went back to my archive and found the last post where I talked about watching GoT when it aired first run, and it was about this episode. I just read it again for the first time and MY FEELINGS HAVE NOT CHANGED on many points. 

1. Letting Viserion and Rhaegar eat that Meereenese noble is something Aerys would have done and doesn’t make them love her any more likely to behave.

2. So... who is writing Maester Aemon about Dany?

3. Jon Snow, Breaker of Chains? I like that he frees Tormund and gives him reasons to follow him but lets the choice be his.

4. Grammar stickler Stannis is always good for a laugh.

5. Wait wait... Brienne was close enough to Winterfell to SEE IT OUT THE WINDOW??? What in all Seven Hells?

6. We needed a scene of Myranda and Ramsay talking about Sansa like I needed a dagger in the eye

7. Ok ok cool parallel of Sansa standing at the base of the tower looking a lot like Cat.

8. Holy shit did Sansa not know Theon was there before Myranda showed her???

9. Ramsay playing mind games with Theon making him think he’s going to hurt him... yikes

10. And forcing the two of them to interact in ways that he could control and make awful was... kind of smart

11. No Walda should not be telling people she’s pregnant... but how could she know that Ramsay was a danger to her unborn child? She seems a trusting sort.

12. Sam insisting that Gilly knows valuable things too is... so pure

13. This rewatch is turning me into a rampant Missandei/ Grey Worm shipper and I like it.

14. Dany’s outfit when she goes to see Hizdar in prison looks very Star Wars to me.

15. Jorah and Tyrion sailing through the Doom is still the DUMBEST shit.

16. The old city looks neat though. And that’s a fun poem.

17. AND A WHOLE ENTIRE DRAGON (are dragons homing pigeons?)

18. Tyrion’s face when he sees that dragon is still so great

19. STONE ZOMBIES ARE CREEPY and now Jorah has greyscale.

5x06: I want to just watch this episode and get it out of the way and at the exact same moment I NEVER WANT TO WATCH IT EVER. It’s Schroedinger’s Episode.

I know this is the episode with THAT SCENE. The reason that I finally stopped watching. Let’s just assume I’m going to be angry but also probably very affected by performances and extremely upset.

1. In the House Of Black and White, a curious child adores an open door....

2. Arya doesn’t hate the Hound. That she still does is a lie she tells to herself, and I THINK THAT’S INTERESTING. 

3. Well of course Jorah wouldn’t know about his dad’s death... :(

4. holy shit Arya making up lies on the spot to comfort that sick little girl before helping her KILL HERSELF

5. That is some SERIOUS MAGIC SHIT GOING ON with all those faces. That scene is exactly as creepy as it needs to be

6. Tyrion has some points about Dany having Targaryen crazy in her dna and how she hasn’t spent a day in Westeros...

7. Well... Tyrion found some people who think his cock is as magical as he does. To bad they want to sell it unattached.

8. Cersei is working out of Tywin’s office. Love it.

9. Wow Petyr... that’s a play for power. He gets the North, he gets Sansa...

10. Trystane Martell is SO CUTE. And I miss Aimee as Myrcella.

11. I LIKE TO IMPROVISE?? Like Indy??? Jfc Jaime

12. Wtf even was all that nonsense in the water gardens other than some cool fight choreography. (Have I mentioned how pretty the Water Gardens are? SO PRETTY.) 

13. The parallels between Cersei and Olenna and Tywin and Olenna in that office.... right down to the Lannister writing to make Olenna wait... fascinating.

14. Cersei did NOT expect the Sparrows to trot out Olyvar. Did she? She genuinely seemed surprised when he walked into the room.

15. Olenna thinks it’s Cersei’s fault anyway and that’s what matters.

16. Sansa’s dress is pretty and the Weirwood is pretty and everything else is awful and there was NO NEED FOR THAT SCENE. It didn’t tell us ANYTHING NEW ABOUT RAMSAY and what he’s capable of or shed any new light on Sansa or Theon it’s just gratuitous rape and psychological torture porn and it’s just gross.

5x07

1. Maester Aemon holding little Sam is the most precious thing. He will be missed. “Egg I dreamed I was old” 😢

2. Oof. That first scene in this ep between Sansa and Theon is ROUGH. She is so desperate and he is so brainwashed and the fact that she can be furious at him one moment and reminding him who he is the next... my heart was not meant to take this.

3. Is this scene supposed to mirror Sansa and Joffrey on the wall? IT IS only with more sophisticated mind games.

4. WHY ARE YOU POKING HIM ABOUT WALDA’S BABY SANSA DO YOU WANT ALL OF YOU TO DIE

5. Stannis being like THIS IS OUT LAST CHANCE TO MARCH SOUTH AND NOT BE STUCK AT THE WALL. But... don’t people bop up there all the time after this? D and D probs forgot. 

6. So... Ghost has just decided he likes Sam and Gilly? He has good taste in people.

7. Dany is with Daario for a LONG time. I hadn’t realized how drawn out their thing was.

8. I AM A QUEEN NOT A BUTCHER no Dany you’re a bbq-er. Sigh. 

9. Tommen being helpless breaks my heart a bit. And that scene between him and Cersei is... devastating.

10. Myrcella is Sansa part 2... pretty and naive and at the mercy of the adults around her

11. what is the point of sand snake boobs here

12. How did I not know that Jorah ended up in the fighting pits?

13. Tyrion is a gift indeed.

14. Fucking puritans I cannot stand them (ask me about how I cursed Oliver Cromwell’s name in England a lot.)

15. I cannot wait to see Cersei keep her promise to that Septa. I do not think that was what I was supposed to take away from Cersei getting thrown in that cell but I’m over here like PAY THAT DEBT MY BEAUTIFUL GOLDEN QUEEN 👑

5x08

1. Tyrion’s intro to Dany about why he’s valuable makes me so angry. Not because I think it’s badly written, but because Tyrion tells her true things that she apparently didn’t internalize about devotion and wisdom.

2. Poor scaly Jorah... tossed out of Meereen.

3. Religious people who try to starve and torture confessions out of those they think have sinned need to DIE IN A FIRE. I am so done with the Faith.

4. Arya “Lanna” selling oysters is cool and all but now I want oysters.

5. Qyburn is a darling atheist and Cersei’s best ally in that place.

6. I HATE SANSA TELLING THEON SHE WOULD DO TO HIM WHAT RAMSAY DID I don’t care that she doesn’t know the extent of what Ramsay did to him it makes her look cruel and the VIEWERS KNOW and UGH GROSS 

7. Holy shit Sansa didn’t know Bran and Rickon were alive.

8. Theon insisting he’s Reek 💔💔💔

9. Tyrion and Dany’s interactions have got my attention. I’m cautiously here for them.

10. Do we know how things are going over in Slaver’s Bay by the end? Does anyone care?

11. Yes but Dany THE WHEEL HAS A PURPOSE. What do you propose to replace it with?

12. The question Olly brings up of “why ally with the people who slaughtered peaceful farmers? What keeps them from killing people on our side of the wall?” Is a good one, and I wish we’d gotten to see Jon argue sensibly for his solution more.

13. Wow did Tormund just kill Rattleshirt?

14. The leaders of the free folk are an interesting group. What is the woman’s name I wonder? Also I hate spiders but WHY DID WE NOT GET ICE SPIDERS.

15. Tormund gets it and likes Jon. It’s kind of sweet.

16. So... I’m calling that cool wildling leader woman isn’t going to last the episode. Ladies without names don’t get to bond with their kids that much if they’re going to live. <--It’s an awful burden being right all the time. 

17. Shit these wights are a lot more active than the old ones

18. Jon and the Night’s watch and the wildlings fighting alongside each other to give people time 👍

19. VALYRIAN STEEL BITCHES

20. Of course she died because women are soft hearted and can’t deal with zombie kids.

21. Jon and the night king having an epic stare off before he raised the dead was kind of cool tho. Also I think Wun Wun the giant is nine kinds of awesome.

5x09: In which I am probably about to lose all respect I ever had for Stannis Baratheon.

1. So I forgot about Ramsay and thought Mel was lighting fires with her mind 🔥

2. Did... Alliser just give Jon a complement? A backhanded one?

3. Omg Stannis is GETTING DAVOS OUT OF THE WAY for what he plans to do YOU BASTARD YOU KNEW DAVOS WOULD STOP YOU.

4. Ok Show Ellaria pouring out wine rather than drinking with a Lannister is fun but NOT HER.

5. Also wherever they filmed that scene with Doran is SO BEAUTIFUL.

6. Meryn Trant is ON HER LIST AND RIGHT THERE

7. And he’s a fucking pedophile ew. Kill him good, Arya.

8. A girl thinks she just lied to Jaqen without him noticing.

9. You know who’s responsible for Oberyn’s death? OBERYN who volunteered and THE MOUNTAIN who killed him. Not Jaime or Tywin or ANYONE BUT THOSE TWO and anyone who actually saw it happen should KNOW THAT, ELLARIA

10. FEEL BAD WHEN SHIREEN ASKS TO HELP, STANNIS. that’s right feel bad

11. I can’t believe NONE OF THEM in that Baratheon army stopped Mel from BURNING A CHILD. Bystander effect?

12. Too little too late Selyse.

13. As of right now, he loses any moral superiority he ever had and I can’t wait to see Brienne shish kabob him

14. Jorah what is the PURPOSE of getting yourself in front of her at the pits?? (Dany’s dragon collar is badass tho)

15. And all of a sudden sons of the Harpy, who were apparently hiding those masks like guy fawkes masks at a protest...

16. TYRION SAVED MISSANDEI YES GOOD also that shot of Dany taking Missandei’s hand gave me feelings

17. LEAVE MY MOM ALONE AND ALSO I AM HUNGRY: Drogon pretty much

18. Ok DANY FLYING OFF WAS COOL.

5x10 I have SO MUCH WINE READY

1. The armchair theologian in me has questions about the reality of the lord of light given the timing of the snow melting enough that Stannis can movie his army. (My wife thinks Mel did some serious blood magic in this case that may or may not have involved any actual divine intervention)

2. FEEL BAD STANNIS YOU MADE CHOICES

3. I would feel worse for Selyse if she hadn’t been horrid to Shireen every single other second.

4. Yay they figured the Valyrian steel swords work. Sam is smart.

5. Jon’s “congrats on the sex, friend” face is priceless

6. Wow the sellswords took ALL THE HORSES. This means Stannis Baratheon, claimant to the throne, is WALKING.

7. YES SANSA PICK THAT LOCK

8. Wow that’s gonna be a masacre. Yikes. I’d call Stannis brave for standing and fighting but he probs knew he had no chance of surrender with the Boltons.

9. UGH SHE LIT THE CANDLE AND BRIENNE ISN’T THERE TO SEE IT

10. I don’t know what Brienne is going to say when she kills Stannis but I would like to suggest “Renly Baratheon sends his regards”

11. Ok that was much more honorable.

12. Me to Ramsay: 🎶 “You’re going to get eaten by dogs AND I’M NOT SORRY.” 🎶 (my sis in law snorted from the other room at that)

13. No one told me Theon kills Myranda for Sansa yes good

14. THEY FLEW

15. Arya killing Meryn Trant is a special kind of horrifying I’m just bloodthirsty enough to cheer for.

16. Wait wait she just STOLE A FACE? It works for her without any permission?

17. Oh ok I see that wasn’t creepy at all.

18. ...and Ellaria just literally gave Myrcella the kiss of death what

19. THE BAD PUSSY LINE GAVE MY WIFE A HEADACHE I AM NOT KIDDING

20. Jaime trying to be dad and bonding with Myrcella (or trying to) is SO CUTE and the look on his face when she says SHE IS GLAD HE’S HER DAD AND SHE HUGS HIM KILL ME NOW

21. I can hear book Ellaria screaming from here. And I just killed about half a glass of wine for Myrcella.

22. Of course Tyrion speaks Valyrian that’s darling

23. The meeting of the “Find Dany Committee” is fascinating. Daario is kind of in control here??? But what he suggests makes sense???

24. What an adorable triumvirate of Tyrion, Missandei, and Grey Worm!

25. VARYS! Hiiiii! Tyrion is going to need you I have a feeling.

26. Aww look at Drogon’s little dragon nest poor wounded thing.

27. Now... was this Khalasar just passing by? Did they see the dragon and come to see what was up?

28. SAY CONFESS ONE MORE TIME BITCH

29. A girl lies well. Good one Cersei.

30. AND HAIR GROWS BACK. (She doesn’t get to say it here but I was screaming it internally) I kind of can’t wait for her to wildfire the lot of them. The Faith and the high sparrow and all of the self righteous assholes can go fuck themselves

31. SOMEONE GIVE HER A CLOAK

32. THANK YOU QYBURN. When the necromancer is the most welcome sight ever... things have taken an odd turn (seriously though the genuine care he seems to have for her is touching???)

33. DOES DAVOS KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO SHIREEN Must not because Mel would be dead right now

34. Happy Ides of Winter Jon

35. Congrats dudes you killed a kid (ok fine a man) that was better than all of you

36. Glasses of wine consumed: Two BIG ones.