#cuz its my bday in a week and like I have 3 exams

[mrkcore]

𝐓𝐀𝐋𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐎 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐎𝐎𝐍 - 𝐡.𝐫𝐣

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: huang renjun x reader

𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬: fairy(faerie)!renjun, human!reader, academia aesthetic, royalcore, medieval setting

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: you meet renjun one night. from that time on, you wait patiently for him every night.

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: fluff, angst

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠(𝐬): none

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 2k

𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐨: talking to the moon - bruno mars

𝐚/𝐧: renjun fic because it’s his bday :3 (i researched a lot about faeries and fairies, but none of them fit the concept i planned, so i kinda just merged some stuff i saw, so this probably isn’t the most accurate, and it is fiction so yeah) i tried to be a lot more descriptive in this one (cuz i’m really bad at that), so pls gimme feedback that would really be appreciated tyvm <3

a part of @nakamotocore​​‘s cliffhanger collab!

(comment here to be added to the taglist!)

another day has come to the end. you’re finally back in your room, sitting at your desk, trying to finish the work you didn’t finish from your classes.

you sigh. even after lighting all of the candles in your room, you’re still feeling unmotivated to continue your language work.

so you pull up your mythology textbook, and take a sneak peek at tomorrow’s topic: fairies.

“fairy, also spelled faerie or faery, a mythical being of folklore and romance usually having magic powers and dwelling on earth in close relationship with humans. it can appear as a dwarf creature typically having green clothes and hair, living underground or in stone heaps, and characteristically exercising magic powers to benevolent ends; as a diminutive sprite commonly in the shape of a delicate, beautiful, ageless winged creature dressed in diaphanous white clothing, inhabiting fairyland, but making usually well-intentioned intervention in personal human affairs; or as a tiny, mischievous, and protective creature generally associated with a household hearth.”

reading on, you’re slowly feeling your eyes droop, tiredness flooding your system. before you know it, your eyes close and bring you to a quiet slumber.

something is tickling your nose, and more is tickling your arm as well. 

did you forget to close your window? or is it the dust from your shelves coming to haunt you for not dusting them for over a month?

you get up drowsily, trying to find the source of the disruption.

your candles are still lit, but it’s still dark outside, so it’s probably not morning yet. you turn around to grab the shawl you discarded on your bed, and put it on.

you reach out to close your window, but to your surprise, there’s a boy. sitting on the ledge of your window. 

and he has wings, sparkling transparent wings.

you’re in awe. from this angle, the moonlight shines just right for his beautiful wings to glisten as they flutter. 

you don’t realize, but you’re slowly walking towards him. your body gravitating towards the strange but stunning creature. 

he hears the floorboard creaking underneath your feet, and turns around to look at you.

you’re shocked by his appearance. 

he’s heavenly. his round, gentle doe eyes are iridescent, sparking while he’s staring at you. dainty, plump, parted lips, and a button nose. you’ve never seen anyone’s features as pretty as his. 

“oh, you are awake now.” his mouth turns upwards into a smile. you’re baffled. “i hope i was not the cause that woke you, how did you rest?”

the creature turns around and flies right next to you. you instinctively sit down on your bed, and he follows suit. 

“i-, i slept well?” you answered hesitantly. you check your watch discreetly, displaying the time, 1:35 am. the boy–or being, sitting besides you catches the action, and leans in to view the interesting gadget. 

he scares you a little bit, and you quickly scramble to put it back into your pocket. he looks at you with great curiosity.

you wonder if he’s ever been in contact with humans before.

“so uh, what is your name?” you try to strike up a conversation now that you know he is able to speak. 

“i do not really have one, but you can call me renjun.” he beams. “and you? what should i call a beautiful lady like yourself?”

you’re blushing with how polite, charming, and poised he is.

“my name is y/n.”

and that’s where it all began. 

renjun came to your window every night when the moon comes at its brightest. it became part of your routine, and thankfully you didn’t have a roommate, so you stay up every night just talking to him.

for some reason, your lack of sleep did not affect you as much as you thought it would. the headmaster, teachers, maids, they always told students to get a full night’s rest so you’d be at your fullest learning capacity. but you’ve never felt better. you never asked what renjun was, it never came up during your late night discussions. you knew from his appearance that he was somewhat like a fairy, but you never asked him about anything, even though you were always curious. 

renjun’s sudden arrival into your life made you feel so bubbly and warm every single day. all of the girls in your class have noticed, so has your homeroom professor. 

“y/n! y/n!” they called to you during lunch break the day after your first encounter with renjun. “you seem so happy today even though we had an exam, what are you smiling so brightly about?”

you wanted to keep him as your little secret. so you just smugly smirked at them.

“none of your business.” you bite back before turning around to walk away.

they all squealed. 

“it’s a boy!”

“definitely a boy.”

“nothing else would be as exciting!”

whispers went around the classroom, and the girls were happily gossiping amongst themselves. your teacher even giggled a bit when she thought the class wasn’t looking. your classmates ask every single day, but you don’t cave. still pleased with the spectacle you’ve stirred up.

but it’s true, you’ve been much happier. strolling the school grounds with a skip in your step, a cheerful mood during class every day, and finishing your homework (renjun insists you do it before he visits so you are free to talk).

you’re so excited for your late night chats with him that you rush to your room to finish your work for the day. surprising all of your teachers of your newfound burst of productiveness.

you feel over the moon.

until he disappeared.

renjun stopped showing up at your window one day, out of the blue. no explanation, no nothing. it’s not like you had any other form of communication with him. so he completely went off the grid. leaving you by yourself.

for the first week, you didn’t accept that he just left. so like usual, you patiently waited for his arrival with the moon shining brightly.

but he never came. for weeks and weeks, you’d wait to no avail of his presence. 

you know he’s somewhere out there. somewhere far away. you want him back. 

your neighbours think you’re crazy. 

sitting at your open window, staring at the moon, and barely getting any sleep.

but they don’t understand. 

no one had ever listened to you as attentively as he did. no one cared to listen to you talk about your hopes and dreams, how your day went, what colour you found the prettiest (if you were wondering, it is green, renjun’s wings are a pretty light green), what pastries you enjoyed stuffing yourself with, your comfort book, no one. 

he’s all you have.

so like a hopeless, smitten, lovestruck girl, you sat quietly with the cold breeze blowing into your room at night from your window.

weeks go by, and you’re still waiting for his visits. at night, when the stars light up your room, you sit by yourself, talking to the moon. trying to get to him, in hopes he’s on the other side, talking to you too.

you’re feeling like you’re famous, the talk of the town.

your bright spirit you had before was gone, and you kept your head down at day. 

everyone was talking about how you got dumped, or got your heart broken by the boy you were head-over-heels for. they say you’ve gone mad; yeah, you’ve gone mad.

but they don’t know what you know.

‘cause when the sun goes down, someone’s talking back.

around 3 months later, you’re sitting at your desk, finishing work. you look up, and suddenly, the moon starts lighting up brighter, flashing.

you’re in disbelief, did the moon just, blink at you? 

then, a shadow of a figure with wings appears, and waves at you. 

that familiar figure, renjun.

was this renjun reassuring you that he hasn’t abandoned you? 

this ignites that spark inside of you. not thinking rationally anymore, no longer somber, you instantly get up to scramble to the window to sit down.

while you’re speaking, the moon blinks, as if he’s talking back.

so again, at night, when the stars light up your room, you sit by yourself, talking to the moon. trying to get to him.

until that stops too. 

the moon stops responding to you. no signs of anyone, and the moon looks more dull than before.

you wonder to yourself, “am i a fool, who sits alone, talking to the moon?”

you still stay up to mindlessly talk to the moon, in hopes he’s on the other side, talking to you too. does he ever hear you calling? ‘cause every night, you’re talking to the moon, still trying to get to him.

then, one night, you fall asleep again. 

trying to study for your project, your mythology textbook is still open. you don’t mean to, but school has been tiring, and you couldn’t help it.

but you wake up to the familiar tingling sensation on your arm. you open your eyes, and see renjun’s gaze on you. head rested on his hands, with his arms on your desk.

is this a dream? you feel faint. is this really happening? was he really in front of you? 

your eyes roam renjun’s face desperately. his eyes, his hair, his moles, his nose, those kissable lips. all the same like you remember.

“you’re awake.” he says. “i’m sorry i was gone for so long, i had some complications and was unable to travel.” 

renjun smiles, apologetically.

“i’ve missed you, sweetheart. how have you been?” 

your eyes zoom in on his lips.

“kiss me.” you blurt out before you can stop yourself. renjun seems surprised as well.

“sweetheart, are you sure you want th–” 

before he even finishes, you crash your lips onto his. 

they’re as soft as you imagined. his lips taste sweet, like the nectar of the beautiful flowers in your school gardens. 

he deepens the kiss, and you let him. feeling over the moon.

when the both of you pull away, things go back to normal. renjun is diligently listening to your rambles, and you’ve never felt better.

when the moon starts to disappear, you realize it’s time for him to go.

“you should probably go home.” you said, sadly. “you said you had some important things to do, so i must not distract you from your work.”

“oh sweetheart,” renjun chuckles. “but i’m already home.” he says with a eerie smile that makes you stop.

“pardon me?” you reply, slightly terrified by his change in tone.

“you heard me little human,” he licks his lips menacingly. you flinch when his hand travels up to your face to caress your cheek. “i’m already home.”

tears are flooding your eyes as renjun’s fingers grow longer into claws and he wraps them around your airway.

“you humans think you can just come into our homes and destroy our land, families, our lives.” he growls. “YOU TOOK EVERYTHING AWAY FROM US.” 

renjun screams, his hand forcing you to look at him. his eyes are no longer the soft doe ones you knew, filled with rage and hurt as he poured his emotions onto you.

“now we’re taking it back.” he snickers. “this stupid building you built upon our old home, it will be gone.”

his hand squeezes tighter on your neck and you’re quickly losing consciousness.

“and we’re starting with you.” renjun taunts, his normal hand coming up to your face to caress it again. 

“it’s a shame thought,” he shrugs, seemingly defeated. “i kinda liked you.”

he drops you on the floor, and you’re gone. 

tears still flowing out of your eyes as renjun walks out of your room.

“unlike the fairies, faeries are considered to be evil, horrid, and mischievous creatures. the faeries are evil, unfriendly, and cruel spirits. the faeries are a bit dangerous also. humanity destroying most of their lives, they seek revenge to take back what once was theirs.”

©mrkcore, 2021.

[hazeshi]

My life in a nutshell

So my cousin who also is my best friend reall,y the only who knew about my meds , had a psychotic episode 3 weeks ago . It was so bad that he had to be interned now he’s feeling better but he isn’t allowed outside yet but He starting to feel better I think. I’ve been having a hard time cuz it all started like a week before my exams and I really cant stop thinking about him . As a matter of fact I learned about the gravity of his mental state right before a bday dinner I was invited to , I literally had a panick attack in the restaurant luckily the other guests were late but it freaked me out. I didn’t have any xanax on me and I kept fidgeting the whole time . I’m still on my meds but I didnt find a psychiatrist yet . Since the parents of my cousin were so against meds and really freaked out about the whole situation, I felt obligated to come out and tell them about my issues . Now I’m lost , scared to death for my cousin and I cant even talk to anyone about this . I tried talking to my best friend but I feel like she don’t really care we’ve grown apart lately and she doesn’t know a thing about my mental health state . I’m ranting and I don’t even know what I’m saying. I just need someone to talk to or cry with . My mind is in a constant chaos and my emotions are on rollercoaster too. The serotonin I’m getting is the only thing keepin me up right now . The funny thing is If you knew me irl you ll see a funny and pretty looking girl with tons of friends . But I only feel safe talking anonymously on a blog . Its fucked up

[qtlitoang3l]

2018 .

another year down .. it went by very fast didnt it ? time is going by even faster .

2017 was a year full of roller coasters .. a lot of ups , but equally as many downs . i usually reflect my year in Dec/Jan so here it goes . January: I started school again . BIG step , considering i was out for 2 years before then . i remember how excited yet nervous i was . im so glad i did it . It was also the month that my good friend from high school , Brandon , told me that he was getting deployed (he’s in the army) in Feb . i was scared , but all i could do was pray for him to come back home alive . he came back home last month (Dec 2017) safe and sound . i thanked God for watching over him . unfortunately , a few days later , my dad got a heart attack .. now THAT was the scariest moment of my life . i still remember that day very clearly . it haunts me every time . ill never forget the sight of my dad holding his chest , sliding down the couch , and grabbed my hand for his life , grasping for breathe . after 3 days being in the hospital , he was discharged with meds and a new plan for his diet . my mom was by herself at work so my siblings and i had to go out to help while my dad was in the hospital . i knew how scared she gets when shes by herself . my dad and i werent on good terms for a year until this moment happened . i guess we both realized that life is so short and that anything could happen in a second . more importantly , im so glad he’s okay til this day . On a happier note , that was also the month that i purchased my first firearm ! so bad ass right ? The beginning of the year was rough , but it got better ! February: Had dinner with Brandon and Aimee b4 he got deployed . Again , i prayed for his safety . I went to a concert (william singe and alex aiono) , which was so fun . Not much happened that month . Had a valentine’s day dinner with the girls and with an old friend . 

March: this month was important because thats when i found that my sister was having a boy!! amazing news right ? and i could finally be an aunt ! I also watched the Lion King on broadway . i think thats a pretty cool thing to mention , right ? it was such a good show !

April: Finals month ... ugh . also my bday month .. didnt do anything cuz all my finals were on the week of my bday . Got my car fixed that month too after that bad car accident . ugh . May: went to a friend’s dowry , did my first 5K bubble run , went to a house warming party , picked up my mom from her 2 week vacation . she deserved it . Did i mention it was the first semester that i start a nursing course ? nerve-wracking!! 

June: My sister’s baby shower . SO FUN ! i decorated everything and bought this beautiful cake . everything was obviously blue :) i also remember having A LOT of exams back to back . not fun at all .

July: My nephew was born .. it was the best day ever . it changed my life . i am an auntie !! he made everyone so happy and everyone was so happy to see him . it was nice to see my whole family together and happy . I also went to a really fun wedding that month . 

August: After a brutal semester and final , I WENT TO LA !! its been forever since ive been on vacation !! i prefer to go with friends , but i went with my siblings . ups and down on that trip and wouldnt wanna travel again with them unless my parents were there . lesson learned and long story . still have pictures that i havent posted from that trip !

September: went to birthday dinners , a wedding , apartment warmings , a “bachelor” party (lol) and started school again . This was also the month that one of the doctors at DH passed away from breast cancer . it was a very gloomy time for my coworkers . i wasnt at work when everyone found out , but ive heard about it . everyone didnt want to work . the atmosphere completely changed . I went to her funeral , but only the beginning part . instead of being sad , we celebrated her life as a doctor and her passion for her career . it was a sad time and the world lost such a talented person . RIP Dr. Stanfield. at the end of the month my friend dan got married at city hall , which was everything he wanted . didnt have to spend a lot of money at all ! October: My friend threw a huge house party for his birthday . parties are not like they use to be . but because most of the ppl there were older , there wasnt much drinking or playing games , which was the sucky part . no one really wanted to do anything . not sure why , but it is what it is . Also did a photoshoot that month , which i havent done in a long time . forgot how much fun it was .

November: Ughhhh drama month out of all the other months , only because this girl is totally obsessed with her ex and hes literally the only thing she talks about . basically we went to the club and she KNEW he was gonna be there yet she decided to come with us . okay . she sees him , starts freaking out , gets all dramatic like “OMG he totally saw me” type of dramatic . it actually went as far as “i could get him kicked out RIGHT NOW if i wanted . i KNOW the bouncers here , dont test me” yeup .. DRAMA . it was entertaining at the same time . my mistake was that she could handle herself . no , she was totally sloppy and even fell.. in front of her ex .. nbd -.- GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER . i stopped hanging out with her .. i couldnt handle it the negative vibes . she came to the thanksgiving party the week after and of course she brought that weekend back and started venting about how she saw her ex and shit . i honestly didnt care . Anyways , thanksgiving with the sister’s in laws was alright . there was some questionable food that i had no idea what the mom was cooking though .. it was some weird things .

December: went to a holiday party , met and saw some friends . it was a good time ! that was also the month that i thought i was gonna fail but ended up passing in the end . THANK GOD . the whole week after the final , i literally went out every day to go drink . you can tell how much stress i was under . lol . i noticed that i was getting a cough , so i cooled down on the drinking after that week . figured i should take care of myself right ? i watched a cirque du soleil show . fantastic as usual . My friend duy asked me to part of this pageant because there was not enough girls .. hmm ... well i didnt wanna just compete because there werent a lot of girls .. so he sat me down and literally gave me a power point show as to why i should join . LOL . i appreciated the time and effort , so id do it for a friend in need . it’ll be fun ! maybe not intense as miss massachusetts but it’ll be a good experience . a big accomplishment that month was when i went snowboarding for the first time in my life !! omg it was so much more fun that i thought it was ! i was hesitant to go because my student that passed away from a snowboarding accident (RIP) , but i couldnt be afraid forever .. it was for him :)

And nooow .. we are in January !! crazy how much has happened in a year .. my resolution this year , besides spending time with my brother , is be more carefree and not care what other ppl think . i think i need to focus on being happy instead of trying to please others . i was told by someone .. that i should be myself more and ppl will see how fun/funny i am . haha , maybe i should ! i will def try . ive kept my guard up for a long time around a lot of ppl and i know ill regret it 50 years from now when im old . im gonna wish i was myself more .

as for you .. yes you .. you know exactly who you are .. i left a section specifically for you . its been a while .. a long while actually . you may or may not still read my .. “journal” .. i might just be writing this for no one to read and now one will ever see , but i guess ill never know . and its okay . even though youre not here anymore and you may not ever be anymore , im living my life the best way that i can , going through life like i never knew you . has it been hard ? yes . am i forgetting our memories ? .. i might have .. i mightve even forgotten what you look like . i dont go on your social media and you are prob doing the same . i think of you from time and time , but not in the way that you think . in a way that i hope you are doing well and only sending you positive vibes . i still pray for you and ask you to be watched over . anyways . i know youre mad .. and i understand . you’ll always have a hold of me .. but eventually .. i have to let that go .. or at least i have to learn how to . i miss our friendship , but i guess if i care about you that much .. i cant be selfish anymore . and i promise that after this , i wont be writing about you anymore .. it’ll all just disappear eventually .. my wish to you is to find happiness . i hope you can promise me that .. take care of yourself .