#cyblurb

[roley-poley-foley]

been feeling peckish for vampires lately, so here's this

contains vampires, blood drinking, severe sunburn, sex work

Jolly could smell burning flesh. Not simply human flesh on a funeral pyre, but the acrid stench the sun made as it tore into vampire skin. Not an unusual scent to get the occasional whiff of, sometimes clothes weren't as protective as one hoped, but it filled the air and Jolly's nose, dredging up unpleasant memories of the old vampire hunts.

A few of the humans around Jolly waved at the air around them, noses wrinkling. You knew things were bad if even humans could smell it.

Moving with the flow of pavement traffic, Jolly followed the smell. He quickly came to an alley, the sun at his back as he headed down it, towards a lone dumpster. Someone whimpered. The burning smell grew stronger. Jolly peered around the dumpster and, gripping the handle of his parasol tightly, immediately recognised the human he'd met weeks ago.

Jolly's mechanic had a new apprentice, a tall young man with flopping dark hair, round cheeks and a broad, crooked grin. Jolly liked to know the people whose services he paid for by name and Noah had been surprised but polite in introducing himself, assuring Jolly that Kath would still be doing most of his car's service and he'd be lucky if he got to do more than watch, hand her tools and change the oil. He'd seemed satisfied with that lot, eager to learn from a skilled mechanic.

Staring at the wretch huddled in the shadow of a dumpster, Jolly wondered what had happened to that man. The young vampire's eyes were focused on the backs of his trembling, blistered hands, perhaps in too much pain to have noticed Jolly. He wore only a singlet, shorts and shoes, wholly inadequate protection from the spring sun burning behind Jolly; he hadn't known he'd need more than that.

Nobody had told him.

Jolly did his best to push down the rage that wanted to overwhelm him. To abandon a vampire you just sired was deeply irresponsible. If they didn't figure it out and go on a killing spree, they would just get sick. Sick from thirst, sick from hunger when they lost the ability to digest their food, sick from sleep deprivation and fevers and nausea and...

Sobbing, Noah curled into a tight ball.

Jolly crouched in front of him. "Noah?"

Noah didn't seem to hear him.

Delicately, Jolly touched an unburned patch of skin on his arm. "Noah."

Flinching, Noah hit his head against the dumpster.

"Hey, it's okay, I'm gonna help you," Jolly assured him, though he wasn't sure Noah was aware of his words.

Jolly pulled out his phone and called Nick.

"I need a lift," he told him, quickly explaining the situation.

Nick grumbled a little, having been woken ridiculously early in the afternoon, but told Jolly he was on his way.

Next, he texted a few blood donors to see if anyone was available tonight.

Noah had stopped crying and was instead staring listlessly.

"Noah?"

He drunkenly lifted his head to look at Jolly and blinked slowly.

"I'm gonna get you somewhere safe, okay? You're gonna be alright."

Jolly's text tone chimed.

Audrey had responded to ask Jolly when he'd like a visit.

He briefly summarised, telling her to get to his place in about an hour if she was alright with working with freshly-turned vampires and promising that not only was Noah too weak to be a danger to a kitten, Jolly would make absolutely sure that she would be safe.

"I'm getting you food," he told Noah as he waited for her reply, "Real food, that you can actually keep down. I bet you haven't been able to eat lately, huh?"

He didn't look like a mechanic's apprentice anymore.

Nick showed up with his own parasol in one hand and a blanket in the other. "Shit," he commented, peering over his sunglasses at Noah, "Who did this?"

"They better watch their back," Jolly said darkly, "They can't hide from me."

He helped Nick get the blanket around Noah's shoulders to protect him from the sun and together they helped him to his feet and walked him to Nick's car. Given how pliant and incapable he was, Jolly was impressed that Noah had apparently dressed himself and left the house this morning. Maybe the sun had pushed him over the edge, from seriously ill to delirious.

They got a few stares as they took their quarry up to Jolly's apartment.

"We probably look like the world's worst kidnappers right now," Nick commented when they reached Jolly's door.

Jolly huffed a laugh at that. "Hold on, let me get my keys."

Figuring that it would make feeding him easiest, they covered the couch in the living room with a blanket and deposited Noah there.

"Home, sweet home," Nick declared, rubbing his hands as if to clean them, "Need anything else?"

"Not right now, you can get back to sleep," Jolly told him, turning the AC down, "But if you can poke around for me..."

Nick nodded, looking at Noah. "Whoever did this is getting their ass kicked."

He showed himself out as Jolly headed to the bathroom for supplies. Although he knew to be careful and wear sun protection, he kept a few things on hand just in case he got caught out and couldn't feed.

Noah looked a little better when he returned, blinking at the room around him with a furrowed brow.

"Water?" Jolly offered, holding up the glass he'd brought.

Noah opened his mouth to speak, only to start coughing weakly.

Sitting beside him, Jolly waited for the fit to pass before holding the glass to his lips.

Noah lifted his hands to take the glass, but Jolly could feel that he wasn't strong enough to hold it on his own. He instead let Noah guide him to tilt the glass enough to drink.

"I brought ibuprofen. For the pain." He helped Noah take some, giving him more water to swallow it down, then set about rubbing lotion on Noah's burns.

Although Jolly could quickly recover from just about anything with a good feed, young vampires were a different story. Freshly-turned vampires were especially weak, aside from being completely uncharted territory for Jolly. He'd never cared for one before and had himself been turned in a very different world, kept isolated until he was strong enough to protect himself. He hoped that Audrey's blood would help him heal, even this soon after being turned.

Speaking of Audrey...

"I'll be right back," Jolly told Noah as he got up to answer the knock at his door.

"Early call," Audrey greeted.

"Sorry, it's urgent." He stood back to let her in.

"You said you just found him? Alone?"

He shrugged, leading her to the lounge room. "Yep. Newly-turned and abandoned. I met him as a human not long ago."

"Does that happen a lot?"

"Never." He stopped her before they went in, lowering his voice. "Once he's had a feed, do you think you can get him talking? I wanna find out who turned him."

Audrey nodded. "I'll see what I can do."

Noah stared as they came in.

"Noah, this is Audrey," Jolly introduced, taking a seat beside him, "She's a blood donor."

He blinked at Audrey as she sat on his other side.

"Heard you've had a rough day," she said gently, stroking his cheek with a light touch as she draped her other arm over the back of the couch so Jolly could reach it, "Jolly's gonna kiss it better, okay? You just need to open your mouth for him."

Jolly sank his fangs into her arm, blood filling his mouth easily. Noah's own fangs wouldn't develop for a long time yet, leaving him to tear into flesh with rough human teeth. As Jolly's fangs retracted from Audrey's arm, her skin closed back up behind them; he didn't even leave a mark when he fed.

Taking Noah's chin, Jolly turned his head to face him.

"Open your mouth for him, Noah," Audrey prompted.

He looked bewildered, lips parted enough that Jolly could lean in to seal their mouths together, pushing Audrey's blood and his saliva to him. Noah tried to lean back, but Jolly gripped the back of his head, keeping him in place.

Noah didn't put up much of a fight; he froze for a moment, swallowed, then readily drank the remaining blood from Jolly's mouth.

"Good boy," Audrey soothed, kissing the corner of Noah's mouth when he and Jolly parted.

Jolly quickly filled his mouth from her arm again, relieved that Noah was drinking.

"Come on, he's got more for you, look."

Again, Noah needed some guidance to find Jolly's lips, but he eagerly drank once he found them, even licking into his mouth for more. He was too weak to stop Jolly from pulling away, but followed his lips to Audrey's arm closely, as if he was worried he'd lose them.

Although Audrey kept talking to him, telling him he was a good boy and stroking his hair, he lost all interest in her, completely focused on Jolly and the blood he offered. This starved, he must have been running solely on instinct. Jolly didn't even think that he knew that there were sources of blood other than Jolly's mouth.

Which suited Jolly perfectly. He didn't want Noah biting Audrey, but even if he did, his body wasn't developed enough to process blood on its own. He needed Jolly's saliva to help it saturate his body properly, he'd probably have to drain a body to get what Jolly could give him in a couple of mouthfuls.

Of course, Jolly wasn't stopping at a couple. He kept feeding Noah until Audrey's bracelet beeped in warning.

"That's me," Audrey said, looking at it to see her levels, "Thirsty one, huh?"

"I wasn't sure what to do if he was too sick to drink," Jolly replied, "Thank god."

"Think you'll call in someone else?"

"Nah."

Noah looked ready to drink his weight in blood, but Jolly didn't want to overfeed him.

"You need to sleep," Jolly told him firmly, "Give it time to soak in."

He rasped a protest, coughing again.

Audrey rubbed his back, frowning. "You're okay, Jolly's gonna take care of you." She looked at Jolly. "You looking for anything else tonight?"

"I'm good." He stood, heading to the kitchen for the stash of money he kept for home visits. He counted out a few bills and returned, handing them to Audrey. "I'm calling it a full service."

She counted the bills with a frown. "Sure I can't get you off before I go?"

He looked at Noah. He was more relaxed now, head on Audrey's shoulder as he slowly blinked at Jolly.

"I'd feel bad," Audrey told him with a pout, "You did all this work, let me give you a little something."

"Well, when you put it like that..." Jolly smiled, shaking his head. He turned to Noah. "Stay here and get some sleep, okay?"

They settled Noah on the couch and he began to doze off quickly.

"I hope I'll see you again," Audrey told him, ruffling his hair before following Jolly to his bedroom.

Although Jolly didn't get to drink from her this time, he couldn't say that Audrey had nothing else to offer. He'd been seeing her for a few years now and she knew him well, had a way of flipping a switch and becoming the perfect lay for him, calling him sir, pleading, touching him just right. Even a little low on blood, she gave him nothing to complain about and left only his slight thirst unsatisfied, though he at least still had the taste of her blood on his tongue.

They crept into the lounge room, finding Noah sound asleep on the couch. Already, his blisters looked much better.

"New vampire," Audrey whispered when they reached the entryway, "That just hit me."

"Mm. Guess I'll have to introduce him to everyone."

An unpleasant prospect. Jolly wasn't a big participant in larger vampire society, preferring to keep to the small group of trusted friends he'd surrounded himself with. Noah's sire should have had the responsibility of inducting him into their world, but unless they suddenly showed up and said they were very sorry, it probably fell to Jolly.

It was fine, he reasoned. How hard could bringing up a new vampire be?

[screamingwilhelm]

Carrie is going to kill me with compliments and I haven’t even lived a century yet

[screamingwilhelm-archived]

I am a über robot

[peeks into old blog]

Uhhh. Cool?

[a reminder that this blog is now inactive and I am now over HERE!]

[roley-poley-foley]

So about the demon sex thing. It's going Weird, you know how it is with demons

contains demons, witchcraft

As Nick tried to blow out the final candle, he felt a chill run through his body, the kind he'd learned to associate with magical happenings. He paused, looking around, but found nothing out of place, so he tried again. The flame wavered, but didn't die. He blew again, jumping when the other candles he'd blown out sputtered to life all at once.

"You called?"

Nick looked up. Just like that, a demon had appeared in the summoning circle. He was tall and covered in sigils from the neck down, dark horns curling up from his head. His leathery wings fluttered a little as his tail flicked, dark eyes on Nick. Nick had to gaze back or else he'd definitely stare at the demon's dick and balls. He'd been expecting a loincloth, at least.

Nick sat up. "I'm looking for demonic assistance in my practice."

"I can give you that." The demon's gaze wandered over Nick's body. "If you're strong enough."

"I'm ready for your test."

"Really? You're still dressed. Let me see you."

Swallowing, Nick stood. "What do I call you?" he asked as he shed his ritual gown.

"You'll call me... Noah."

Under the gown, Nick wore a crop top and shorts stitched with protective sigils. Noah was still giving him an expectant look, so he pulled off the top.

"Have you worked with other witches?"

"I've been summoned for rituals, but I've never possessed one." His eyes drank in Nick's naked body. "Come into the circle and let me possess you."

Nick stepped in, the soles of his feet tingling.

Noah took his face in his clawed hands and tilted it up, his long tongue pushing between Nick's lips. Nick had a terrible gag reflex, but the demon's tongue didn't trigger it as it slid down his throat, likely searching for the magical point there. Their lips touched, but it wasn't a kiss of any kind, just a result of what Noah was doing. His tongue felt like it waded between every muscle and blood vessel in Nick's neck, slithering around his spine and windpipe before withdrawing.

"Maybe you are strong enough," Noah murmured, "Get on your hands and knees."

Nick sank to his knees, a little apprehensive. He was a wine and dine kind of guy.

"There's lube," Nick told him.

"You don't need it," Noah replied, "This isn't sex."

It was kind of sex.

Noah knelt behind Nick. "We just take forms like this to make it easy on you humans," he continued, "It's a lot more than sex, though."

[roley-poley-foley]

contains: consensual non-consent

"What's that you've got?"

Folio glanced up at Jolly, but kept thrusting. "Found him. I think he's lost. Look."

He grabbed the human by the hair, lifting his head for Jolly to see. He was gagged with a rag and a cheek was covered in dirt and pine needles, but his eyes were warm and gentle.

"Pretty, right?"

"Sure."

Folio dropped him and adjusted his position, fucking harder. The human could do nothing to save his fall as his wrists were bound behind his back.

"Good pussy, too. I think I'm gonna keep him."

Jolly had to admit that his ass looked appetising in Folio's hands.

"Just for yourself?"

"No way, dude," he assured him, "You gotta try this. Nick, too."

He sighed heavily, thrusting faster. The human grunted a little at the rougher treatment, brow furrowed. Before long, Folio was groaning and cumming inside, corrupting the pure creature.

"You guys are good," he murmured, "But human meat hits different."

"I hear that."

He pulled out. "C'mon, your turn."

Jolly started by turning the human onto his back so that he could see his round, pretty face, then tore the hole Folio had made in his trousers larger to examine him.

"Pretty dick," he commented, taking it and tugging down the foreskin.

Shuffling between the human's legs, Jolly lifted his hips and pressed his dick in. His hole welcomed him easily, used as it was, and Jolly set a quick pace that matched his hand on the human's dick.

The human grunted, whined through the gag. He probably hadn't been expecting to get much attention, as hard as he'd gotten under Folio's care, but Jolly liked to play. A warm hole wasn't everything.

The human shifted a little in Jolly's hands, but seemed to be resisting the pleasure, breathing deeply instead of moaning, keeping his legs stiff and tense.

"Come on," Jolly goaded, "Have fun with us. I want you to enjoy this too, you know."

The human tensed as he came, spilling over Jolly's hand.

"Good boy," he praised with a smile, "You don't have to hide how you feel with us."

He kept jerking the human's dick, and he looked up at Jolly with fear, whimpering.

"That's it. Come on."

He felt his legs twitching, then kicking as Jolly overstimulated him. He thrashed, whining and moaning in agony and Jolly had to release his dick to hold him close and keep fucking him.

"Let me help," Folio offered, dropping to his knees and lapping up the human's nectar before taking the dick in his mouth.

The human's hole felt incredible as his body fought to escape their ministrations. Fucking into a sleeve was one thing, but Jolly liked his prey to fight back: if the meat was too stubborn or broken by the others, overstimulating it was a reliable solution.

"You guys torturing puppies or some shit?"

Jolly glanced up at Ruffilo. When had he appeared between the trees? "Something like that. Folio found a new toy. He wants to keep it."

"No pets."

Folio stopped sucking. "It's not a pet if it's useful," he argued.

"It doesn't lay eggs and you can't milk it. It's a pet."

"Jolly milked it pretty good."

Jolly moaned as Folio's mouth returned to the dick and the hole spasmed around him. "Just give it a shot, yeah? This is a good one."

Ruffilo walked over, nudging the human's face with his foot. "You just want it 'cause it's pretty."

"It's a good hole."

"So's Nick."

"He likes what I do to him. And I can't train him."

Folio looked up at him with a mischievous glint in his eye.

Jolly rocked harder into the human. "Fuck."

He came hard, tainting the hole further as it twitched and coaxed more corruption into itself.

Folio pulled off. "Aw, you made him cry."

Tears were indeed streaming down the human's face. He looked deflated, sapped of energy.

Jolly pulled out. "Try him, Nick."

Folio lapped at the human's tears. "You better work, human. Else he might tell us to just kill you."

Ruffilo grabbed him by the scruff of his coat and dragged him to the nearest tree before turning him over. "Hold yourself against the tree."

The human was unsteady on his knees as he got up on his knees, bracing a shoulder against the trunk.

"You're gonna make me cum," Ruffilo told him, "We don't need a useless pet."

The human nodded.

Ruffilo sidled up and pushed in.

The human's movements were awkward and stilted as he fucked himself on the dick, like he hadn't quiet gotten the strength back in his legs. Ruffilo, ever merciless, raised an eyebrow at Folio.

"Give him a minute, we just wore him out."

"So I can't use him after you two? He just gets too loose and lazy?"

The human mumbled, moving faster.

"That's more like it," Ruffilo sighed, "Come on, nice and tight, human."

He let the human please his dick, holding his waist with a loose grip.

Folio reclined on the forest floor beside Jolly to enjoy the show. "Human knows his master when he meets him."

The human looked at them, then fixed his eyes on the ground, cheeks red.

"Aw, don't be embarrassed! It's cute."

"He better know who his master is," Ruffilo commented, gripping his hair and leaning in close, "I'd hate for him to be more trouble than he's worth."

The human shook his head, rolling back against Ruffilo.

"He responds well to threats," Jolly noted.

"You guys overthink," Folio replied.

"You're just happy when you have a warm hole to fuck. Me and Nick have refined tastes."

"He seems like he can sate them," Ruffilo admitted, gripping the human's waist tighter and finally fucking him.

The human had little opportunity to prepare, shoulder bruising against the tree with the force of Ruffilo's thrusts. He grunted and tried to meet them, haphazard and desperate to please his new master.

"He's gonna need to be washed," Jolly said, "Before we bring him inside."

"You just wanna get a better look at him," Folio teased, "Check out the goods."

Maybe. Who could blame him?

"We'll see how much Nick wears him out," Folio suggested.

As if the human had much left in him after being subjected to Jolly and Folio anyway...

By the time Ruffilo stilled, fingers digging into the human's flesh, he looked like those fingers were all that help him upright. Sure enough, as Ruffilo moved back, he fell back onto his heels and started tipping sideways.

Jolly darted forward to catch him and pull the gag from his mouth. "You good?"

"The river's cold," Noah mumbled, gripping Jolly's arm with a shaky hand, "I don't wanna wash."

"That's okay, we'll just go home."

He buried his face in Jolly's neck as Jolly picked him up.

"Playtime's over?" Folio asked as he and Ruffilo got up to follow Jolly, "I guess he's gonna need some cuddlin'."

"Not from you," Ruffilo replied, "You're gonna be busy making dinner. It's still your turn."

[roley-poley-foley]

Nicholas Ruffilo/Noah Sebastian

Contains ghosts, dubious consent, unsafe sex

The snow was falling gently by the time Nick headed home after work, flakes illuminated by warm streetlights. Already, it had thinly coated the footpath, reminding him of icing sugar on a brownie. Distracted as he was by it, he nearly walked right into a tall man with long, dark hair.

"Sorry," he blurted, stepping back. Looking up, he was met with dark, magnetic eyes he couldn't look away from. He was struck by this stranger's beauty and had the sense that he was lucky to have almost bumped into him tonight because it gave him a reason to speak to him.

"I'm cold," the man told him softly, shivering a little despite his huge coat and its fur collar, "Can you take me somewhere warm?"

He wanted something from Nick? Not only that, he wanted something Nick could actually give him?

"Yeah. Yeah, sure, I was just heading home. It's..." Well. It was certainly warmer than outside.

The stranger held out a mittened hand.

Heart soaring, Nick took it and began to lead him. He couldn't help stealing glances at him as they walked. He bet his hair was soft. His skin, too. He wondered how he tasted too.

"This is it," Nick told him as they approached his building.

The stranger said nothing, devastatingly. Nick wanted to hear his gentle voice again. Looking down at their clasped hands, he noticed the tightness of the stranger's grip. He must've been wearing long acrylic nails inside those mittens, because Nick could feel them digging into the back of his hand.

"Can I stay at your apartment for the night?"

All thoughts of the nails evaporated from Nick's mind. "Sure."

They walked up the stairs to the third floor, the elevator being out of service again, and Nick let him in, flipping on the light.

"It's warm in here," the stranger said, releasing Nick's hand.

"Stay as long as you want."

"I bet it's warmer in your bed."

Nick's brain nearly short-circuited, eyes locked on the stranger's hands as he began removing a mitten.

The stranger paused, frowning at Nick.

"Sorry! Yeah, yeah it's warm there." He turned to lead him to his bedroom. "It's through here.

The stranger followed him in, shedding the mittens as he sat on the bed. "Warm me up?"

Nick didn't need to be told twice. He guided the man further up the bed and pushed him down, noticing for the first time that his feet were bare, toes a little blue from the cold. He immediately came up with five things he wanted to do to them, but set those ideas aside. He wanted to see the rest of him first.

The coat was secured shut with loops and buttons, so he started by undoing each of them, the man's eyes never leaving his. Finally he pulled open the coat to reveal a body Nick never wanted to look away from.

His skin looked soft, though so pale it was a little translucent. It was also covered with tattoos that gave Nick a headache when he tried to focus on them, so he instead looked at the stranger's erect dick. Already, he wanted Nick.

Remembering his earlier musings, Nick moved up the bed so that he could reach his lips. He kissed him softly at first, but quickly became desperate to taste more and pushed his tongue between his lips.

The stranger squeaked softly and Nick had to hear that again. He pinched a hard nipple, tugging it, rolling it between his finger tips, making the stranger whine. Every sound sent blood to Nick's dick. He stopped kissing him, pulled his long, smooth legs apart and shoved himself between them.

He paused, gazing down at his hole, pressing it with a thumb pad and feeling it give, knowing with every fibre of his being that it needed him, it existed for him.

He undid his belt and fly and, giving his dick a few tugs, Nick pushed the tip against the hole. It didn't resist. It welcomed him in.

The stranger was oddly cold inside. Not cold enough to kill Nick's boner, but not warm enough to be healthy. He disregarded the health thing and instead felt elated that he wouldn't be hindered in fucking into this body.

"You're so warm," the stranger said softly.

Why waste time? The stranger didn't complain as he fucked him hard, moaning in satisfaction.

Nick bent forward to suck on the nipple he'd been playing with, eager to feel the stiff bud on his tongue. He couldn't resist the allure of the beautiful hair fanning out across the sheets and he took a fistful, relishing the stranger's gasp.

"Do you love me?" Nick asked him as he brutally used that perfect hole.

"Yes," the stranger moaned, "I love you. I need to be yours."

As he grasped at Nick, Nick briefly noticed that he wasn't wearing fake nails after all: they were short and blunt, harmless against Nick's winter jacket.

He reached down to tug at the stranger's dick. "Say you love me again."

"I love you."

Grunting, Nick started to cum, the stranger quickly following. His hole spasmed around Nick as if drinking every drop he had. Nick's hand was covered in cum. He licked it off, figuring he deserved to keep a little of the stranger inside him in return.

Tiredness swept over Nick. He pulled out and collapsed at the stranger's side, heavy limbs unable to stop him from standing and pulling his coat closed. His eyes lost focus as the stranger left, not even leaving him with the sound of his voice.

When Nick woke up, he was hard. He must've been exhausted last night; he'd fallen asleep before he could even finish taking his pants off. And that stranger...

It had been a dream, he quickly realised, turning into his back so that he could jerk off. The more he thought about it, the more nonsensical it became. It was a shame. He would have liked to have gotten that pretty stranger's name, at least.

[roley-poley-foley]

Contains Noah being a brat

"Sir Joakim." The prince gestured around vaguely. "Late is the hour."

He'd spoken six words and already drained Jolly of his remaining patience. It had to be some kind of record.

Jolly straightened up from his bow. "My apologies. The roads from here to the coast are overrun. We responded immediately to your call, but it took us some time to get back."

"Hm. Who trained you to make excuses?"

Jolly wished he could slap the brat. Even his stoic bodyguard, Ruffilo, frowned a little.

"We didn't dally. I would invite you to come out with us and see for yourself, but we needed every man fighting just to stay alive."

Noah's face filled with rage. Nobody needed Jolly to do more than imply; the lazy prince probably couldn't even hold a sword and they all knew it. That kind of weakness may be acceptable up north, but in the cold south, leaders were expected to hold their own when necessary.

It wasn't smart to point it out, though.

"We are here to serve, now," Jolly said, "I'm guessing few will be heading that way until this crisis is resolved anyway."

"Yours was the last company to return," Noah told him, an edge to his tone, "Maybe once the villages around us are secure, we can deal with your problem. You'll attend a briefing tomorrow." He gave a dismissive wave.

Jolly bowed deeply, turned and trudged out of the room. He knew he'd pay for his comment, but for now he was just grateful to finally head down to the barracks to find a soft bed to pass out in.

Although the others were mostly either in bed or quietly readying themselves, Nick seemed to have been waiting for Jolly; he nearly leapt up to greet him as he entered.

"I've made your bed, sir." He pointed to the neatly made bed beside, presumably, his own. "Your clothes are laid out."

Jolly stared at him. "I can't believe I want to knight you. I'm never going to have a squire like you again."

He grinned. "We all need a good night's sleep. Gods know what the prince has in store for us."

They kept their voices low as Jolly headed to his bed, Nick already helping him out of his armour. "Don't be too disappointed, but it might be bad."

"Did you start shit with him already? We just got here!"

Jolly chuckled. "I'm just saying, I'd never let a page of mine behave that way." He groaned and rolled his arms as he was freed from the steel armour. "Fuck, I could sleep for a week."

A few people around them grumbled their agreement; it was early in the night, but the journey had been arduous.

"The pleasure houses are gonna get busy," Folio said with a grin.

[roley-poley-foley]

Contains mentions of sexual assault, unwanted pregnancy, hostage taking, suicidal ideation

"You're gonna fix this," Noah told him.

A chill ran down Nick's spine. "How?"

He couldn't expect Nick to kill it, could he? There was no way Nick could get it out without significant risk to Noah's life and he certainly couldn't do it without leaving a mark, something that would be noticed, something that would tell Nick's father that Noah had cruelly murdered his child, a capital crime.

"You're gonna take me to a witch."

Nick relaxed a little, then processed what Noah had said. "Wait, a witch?"

"Witches take babies."

Nick wanted to stand up, pace, think through this whole situation, but the knife against his throat kept him on the floor. He glanced at the pack Noah had dropped on the floor, wondering how long he'd been planning an escape like this. "What makes you think I can get you to a witch?"

"Sorcerers defect all the time. You have to have met someone when you were training," Noah said, "You're gonna open a portal to them."

The problem was, he did know someone. A few people, in fact, but only one he'd been close enough to to be on speaking terms now.

"I've never been good with portals."

The knife pressed to his throat. "If you can't do this, I'm killing you, your father and myself," he told him lowly, "I'm not having his or anyone else's parasites."

Well, when he put it that way...

"Let me up."

Noah got off of him but kept the knife close to his neck. He wasn't giving him even a moment to ready a defensive spell, not that Nick thought he could do so without hesitation anyway. To attack the sweet omega who'd always known how to make Nick laugh...

"I need to find a seam," he explained, slowly lifting his hands.

"If I feel anything weird-"

"I'm not going to kill you, Noah."

"Why not?" he asked bitterly, "I'm just a vessel. And I'm killing your sibling."

He'd rather have Noah than the child his father had raped into him anyway, but he kept the thought to himself and focused on feeling for a seam in the darkness of his room.

He'd always hated portalling. It felt different for everyone and for him it felt like pushing his fingers into something akin to curdled milk. Warm, wet chunks sickeningly caressed his fingers and palms as he felt for the only thing that could make the experience worse.

"There's nothing here," he told Noah, "I wanna try near the door."

Noah followed closely as Nick pushed his hands through the molasses the air had become. In front of the door, he brushed something that tingled.

"I found something."

"A portal?"

"Give me a minute." Nick breathed in deeply, then pushed his fingers into the spot he'd found.

Finding portal spots was gross. Opening them felt like the flesh was being stripped from his fingers. He was forcing his fingers into a fleshy wall of knives. Icy knives that chilled his bones. With a grunt, he started pulling the portal open. The pain worsened and every instinct demanded that he stop mutilating himself and pull his hands out. He got it a few inches open before a familiar feeling stirred in his gut. He wasn't unused to throwing up after too much portalling.

Breathing through the pain, Nick kept pulling. It wasn't a matter of physical strength, despite how it felt. If he pulled it too fast, he'd just lose his grip on the portal, but keeping his hands in the knives was a test of will every time. His and Noah's lives being on the line made for more interesting motivation than beatings, at least.

"Is that it?" Noah asked.

Nick didn't dare open his mouth to respond, but he gave a quick nod; a ripple was now visible in the air in front of him.

The ripple grew as he shakily pulled the portal open, tinting with darkness. He was aiming for a village in a forest, a place he'd visited just once before and wished he could return to many times since. This late, he wasn't surprised that it was dark there. He hoped Noah would finally grasp the freedom he used to think he could find in that village.

His grip nearly slipped when someone banged at the door.

"Nicholas? What's going on?"

Shit. Of course Cassandra wanted to check in on him now.

"Don't come in!" Nick strained, "I'm sick. It's a sorcerer thing, dangerous to normal people."

"You're sick? Do you need anything?"

"I'll be fine," he promised, "I just need to..." He glanced at his bed, then at the quill and ink on his desk. "Unknot the curtains of the world scrolls. Then I'll feel better and it will be safe to come in. It's super complicated, though."

The portal was nearly big enough to step through; he could see the crescent moon glowing in the sky.

"Well have you seen Noah? I can't find him, he needs his medicine for the baby."

Nick could practically feel Noah seething behind him.

"No! Please, I need to focus."

The door latch rattled. "Are you sure you haven't seen him? They're fragile, you know. They get unstable after their heats."

"After the full week of daily rape?" Noah muttered, "No way."

"Shut up, I need to focus," Nick hissed back, "I haven't seen him since he went out to clean the stables this morning," he called to Cassandra.

The portal was big enough for him now, but Noah could never squeeze through with that pack. Stomach roiling, Nick kept pulling.

"The stables?" Cassandra shouted, rattling the door again.

Fuck. What now?

"I restrict pregnant omegas to inside chores. Why the fuck was he out there? Why didn't you stop him?"

"He told me he was cleaning!" Almost there. "I didn't know he wasn't allowed out! Please, let me finish this. Magic shit's dangerous."

"Why are you doing magic this late? What's going on?"

"It's a sorcerer sickness!"

"Are you lying to me?"

She could at least pretend he was convincing.

"Noah, go," he hissed, "I'll close it after you, just go."

"Can you close it from the other side?"

"What?"

In lieu of an answer, Noah shoved him into the darkness. The relief when his hands lost their grip of the edges of the portal was almost immediate and so intense that he forgot he was falling. The reminder came in the form of his nose hitting the ground with a crunch.

[roley-poley-foley]

Contains demons, broken condoms

Human bodies took some getting used to. Even if one possessed a vacant one, riding it was almost like constantly battling another soul for control anyway. Bodies were beings of their own, sweating, digesting, quivering, all without a word of input from the entity who should be running them. Even humans had to read books to figure out how their own bodies, the very ones they'd been born with, worked, how to better control them, and one would think they'd be the experts.

Nick had been possessing his body for a long time, but it still did so many things he didn't understand. Why was blood rushing in his ears? Why did his stomach churn horribly? Why did his hands feel a little numb as he stared down at the tattered condom they cradled?

He swallowed. "Noah."

"Hm?" Noah frowned back at him, looking worried about him, then his eyes fell to the condom.

Nobody spoke for a moment as realisation slowly dawned.

"Wait." Noah sat bolt upright. "Wait, it..."

"It broke."

"And you came inside me."

Oh to be able to say no. To tell him, It's okay, I pulled out this time, I finished between your thighs, if you shower you'll be fine.

Nick's hands shook. "Do you have enema stuff?"

Very little could be done, Nick knew. Attempting to flush his cum out was truly the most effective option short of killing Noah before it could take since they weren't witch hunters. Still, maybe it would be worth Noah praying a little for forgiveness for his many trespasses against God and pleading for protection from demonic influence.

Noah shut himself into his bathroom, shyness at the wheel even in the face of crisis. Or maybe he just hated Nick now and never wanted to see him again. Still, Nick supposed it was a one man job anyway, though his body was punishing him with a racing heartbeat and shaking hands for his inaction.

He tossed the condom in the trash. Part of him felt like it should be kept as evidence, used to publicly condemn him, and another part wanted the incriminating latex disposed of before anyone could point a finger at him. Nick should run too, while the sole witness was busy. Make his escape before the screaming started, before it finally sank in for Noah.

He couldn't, though. Contrary to popular belief, demons were cursed with conscience too and he couldn't leave Noah to fend for himself if, despite his best attempt at washing it all out, it took.

He was pacing when Noah finally emerged.

"What next?" he asked Nick.

He shouldn't be asking Nick. He shouldn't be asking the nearest defiler of men for advice on keeping his body and soul untainted. He should be tossing him out and telling him to fuck himself with a burning pitchfork.

Nick swallowed. "I guess we get some tests."

"That's it? Enemas and tests?" he asked with a frown as he picked through his clothes for something to wear out to the nearest nocturnal pharmacy.

"Noah..." Nick wanted to throw up, but instead he started gathering his own clothes from the floor. "I'm so sorry."

Noah glanced at him. "Hey, shit happens, right?"

[roley-poley-foley]

How Long Should I Wait To Feel Myself Again?

contains blood

Although there were some sceptics about its existence, everyone had heard of the troll under the Dorgoddedrel bridge. The tales had been around for longer than any alive could remember and although some contradicted with others, they all agreed on one thing: a man-eating troll lived under that bridge.

Along with the tales, there were warnings and advice. The kinds of things one would expect, don’t cross the bridge at night, don’t cross it fewer than two hours after eating meat, don’t bleed on it, if you’re a Kinthist use a different bridge, prepare to answer riddles and have a few of your own handy, bring a toll (dead chickens, virgins, the usual) and, most relevantly to Nick, play music as you crossed. They said that music kept the troll at bay.

Nick played at taverns and inns, usually the Timid Beaver in Dorgod. He’d heard about the music thing, so it shouldn’t have come as a surprise when, one night as he was sitting down for a drink, a couple of Kinthists came to him, told him they’d pay him to escort them across the bridge, showed him a delightfully curvy coin purse. The troll was hideous, of course, and because of that it resented beauty. It feared music, hid from it with both ears covered and Nick’s music was very beautiful.

The next morning, he found himself crossing the Dorgoddedrel bridge, strumming his guitar and singing loudly enough that he was sure he would be heard from the water below. The couple thanked him once they’d put enough trees between them and the river to obscure it from view and he went home a little richer.

Word got around. A few weeks later he escorted some other travellers across that bridge, then a local farmer needed to make a trip to Edrel and back, then he figured that although it was a sweet gig, he couldn’t in good conscience continue to take money from people if part of him felt like he was selling snake oil. Luckily, an opportunity quickly presented itself.

Some Kinthist hunters had gotten unlucky. The quarry hadn’t gone down without a fight. He could walk, but he wasn’t in good shape and they both just wanted to go home, see some Kinthist healers. Nick took them across, but at the other side he told them to go on without him, he’d just head straight home instead of hitting the tavern in Edrel this time.

He walked back about half way across, guitar silent, and took out that hunter’s dirty bandage that he’d swiped when they were preparing for the journey. He looked over the side of the bridge, wondering whether he should drop it into the water or leave it on the cobblestones. Would he be safe? Had his pocket been contaminated with enough blood to make him a target?

“Bard.”

Nick spun, startled to see a muddy figure sitting on the parapet behind him. He dropped the bandage, poised his fingers on the strings, hoping he could repel it if it tried anything.

“You gonna eat that?”

Its voice was rough, a growl. Nick wondered if it was used to speaking.

“The bandage? No, it’s… for you.”

The troll moved quietly. It was huge, but it walked like a human as Nick backed away from it and the bloody bandage, leaving muddy footprints. It crouched, took the bandage and licked the darkest stain.

Nick watched it suck on the bandage for a while, intrigued. Aside from its mouth and an ear, he couldn’t make out any other facial features. Its eyes looked as if they’d been bandaged over and he wondered if that meant it was blind. He couldn’t recall any tales that mentioned blindness.

“So you’re the troll,” Nick said, a little stupidly.

“The troll? Flattering.”

Was it insulted?

“What’s your name?”

It paused, lifting its head. “My name?”

“You’re not just ‘troll,’ right? I’m Nicholas Ruffilo. Or just Nick.”

“Nick.” It didn’t move for a moment. “Could you play another song, Nick?”

He realised he was still pressing the strings down and relaxed his fingers. “You like music?”

He turned his head away. “I don’t get to hear music very much anymore. You play something different every time you cross. There’s another bard who just plays the same thing every time. He sings and plays well, but I like variety.” He licked the bandage. “Could you play the one about the knight and the wisteria?”

“Sure.” Nick adjusted his grip, strummed and began singing.

The troll seemed almost frozen as he listened, not even sucking on the bandage anymore. He didn’t hate music after all; he loved it. Enough to stop eating to listen, apparently. He remained still until the song ended, waiting until the strings had stopped vibrating before shifting.

“Thank you.”

“Any time.”

He put the bloody bandage in his mouth and climbed over the parapet, silently disappearing. When Nick looked over the side, he was nowhere to be seen.

[roley-poley-foley]

Contains werewolves, mentions of imprisonment and starvation

"We need to stop."

Jolly and Nicholas paused and looked back at him over the top of the cart.

He glanced up at Noah, who even now swayed on his feet as he clutched his leather bundle. "You guys can keep going if you want, but I'm waiting for him."

"We wanna get this back to the village before dark," Nicholas said.

Nick nodded. "I know. It's cool." He went to the cart and took some meat. "We'll be fine, go on ahead."

Jolly nodded and they both started pulling the cart again as Nick led Noah off the road, to the large trees he'd spotted. With a huff, he sat down against one.

Noah was slower to sit, more careful in how he lowered himself. His tree had half fallen, giving him more of a recline as he leaned back.

Nick cut the meat he'd taken in half and gave Noah his share. "Take as long as you need. I'll keep watch if you need to sleep."

Noah nodded and started eating, meat in one hand, bundle in the other. He took small bites, taking his time to chew instead of swallowing it down as fast as he could as he had at the keep.

"Do you have somewhere to go?" Nick asked as they ate.

Noah shook his head. "Everyone I know is dead," he rasped quietly.

"You know me."

"I don't think your friends want me around."

He wasn't wrong. He, Nicholas and Jolly had sworn loyalty to each other maybe a dozen years ago, out of the need to be able to trust someone. They knew each other as terrible, selfish people, but they'd learned to entrust their lives to each other anyway. It would be impressive for Noah to be more of a monster than any of them, but they weren't desperate for someone to watch their backs as they slept anymore.

Noah finished his meal in silence and laid back against his tree, gazing around at the forest as his eyelids grew heavy. Nick thought that he might drift off to sleep. Then his brow furrowed, his eyes welled with tears and he started to roughly sob.

Nick sat up, unsure of what to do. "Are you hurt?"

"I thought I was gonna die in there."

Nick deflated a little. "Yeah." It wasn't an unrelatable feeling. "But you didn't. You're out now."

Noah looked at him, ears dipping down. "What am I supposed to do now?"

"You're weak as hell," Nick told him, "You need to rest. And eat again, later. And bathe at the village."

"What then?"

"Shit, I dunno. Figure it out when you get there, you know? You gotta solve the problems you have right now, then you'll have more problems to solve later. If you can't find any, make problems for other people and they'll make some for you."

Noah sniffled. "That's not a plan."

"Who said anything about plans? Now that you don't have a bunch of assholes keeping you alive so they can kill you later, you gotta focus on just making it through the fucking day."

Noah needed to slow down. After Nick freed himself, he'd spent several years thinking of nothing but killing, eating and fucking. Making long-term goals hadn't even occurred to him until he decided he wanted to try out clothing again. He still wasn't one to plan ahead; he'd convinced Nicholas and Jolly to help out a starved werewolf earlier today, in fact.

Noah's tears eventually dried and he indeed fell asleep, still holding onto the leather bundle his hair was wrapped in. Nick wondered what he'd dragged himself and his friends into.

[roley-poley-foley]

have a quick blurb thing

The hospital was quiet. It would be peaceful if not for Nick’s apprehension. He tried not to run; whatever the truth was, it would be the same no matter when he saw it. He only hoped it wasn’t as bad as he’d heard.

Walking into the rest hall, Nick easily spotted the bed he was looking for by the crowd around it. They easily outnumbered everyone else in the room, the healers, the bedridden patients, their visitors and the couple praying to the statue of the Healing God, Eltaor, at the far end of the room.

Nick approached the crowd, the purple-robed Sirens milling around, chattering amongst themselves with frowns and scowls. One kept glancing at the elf seated on the bed with his head in his hands with revulsion, covering her mouth with her sleeve. Someone with a folded purple robe in their hands approached the elf and spoke to him. He dropped his hands, looking crushed even as he accepted the robe.

Calling something about sending a dove somewhere, a Siren near Nick detached herself from the clamour, barely sparing him a glance as she strode to the exit. At her departure, others seemed to pounce on the opportunity to take their leave, giving the seated elf uncomfortable glances as they went. Nick stood aside for them, waiting until they’d mostly cleared out before moving to greet his friend.

“Noah.”

His stomach sank when Noah looked up at him.

His head looked a little lopsided and if Nick’s eyes hadn’t immediately fixed on the place where his left ear used to be, it might have taken him a while to figure out why. His dark hair covered the remaining wound, but the tip of his other ear poking out and made it obvious that something was missing. Nick had heard right after all.

“Hey,” he greeted, “They couldn’t…”

Noah shook his head, briefly giving the grimace of one on the verge of tears. “Nothing they could do.”

If Nick could only get his hands on the humans who’d mutilated his friend…

But they’d already been captured and, if they hadn’t already been slaughtered, were awaiting butchery now.

“You should ask for a bone charm,” Nick suggested, “Shit, you could probably request one from each of those fuckers. People would get it, you know? And your Clan has sway.” It wasn’t really an eye for an eye, but it was something.

Noah frowned at the robe in his hands. “I don’t know, I… I think I…”

“I’m headed to the bathhouse,” Nick said when he apparently couldn’t express his thought, “You busy?”

“Can’t remember the last time I had a bath,” Noah murmured, stroking the robe.

“Probably been weeks, right? Time for some city living, I’d say.”

[roley-poley-foley]

Here are my personal Bad Omens headcanons

This is my impression of what the guys would be like with the reader <3

Contains: vampire omens, reader death, graphic violence, stalking

Nick

He likes thrills. You're aware that he's stalking you long before he makes a move because seeing you getting nervous excites him. Once he does reveal himself, it's just the beginning. He'll push you to the ground, then disappear. You'll get up and start running. He'll break your ribs and leave. You'll keep looking for help. He'll make you bleed but he won't take a bite until you're crying because he likes teasing himself. Finally he'll hold you down and start feeding. You have some fight left so you overpower him, maybe get some hits in and start running again, just to realise that it's all part of his game when he easily catches you again. How many times do you "escape" before you're too dizzy from blood loss to walk?

Nick's a messy eater and you're both covered in your blood by the time you die. He's bitten into every exposed spot he can reach, sometimes just licking at places once or twice before moving on. Hopefully they won't need to identify you by your torn up tattoos.

Jolly

The total opposite of Nick. He'll stalk you, but he'll close in and smash your head against a wall before you sense the danger. You'll probably be dead when he starts feeding. There's no finesse to his technique, if he's lucky you'll just lose consciousness and your beating heart will pour your blood into his mouth. You're a stranger, but he doesn't want you struggling and suffering.

If you're alive, he'll feed from your upper arm because he likes the soft flesh. If you're dead, he'll sit you against a wall and feed from your tummy, let gravity push the blood out.

Nicholas

He doesn't stalk you, you go to him. One way or another, you find yourself in his big, finely decorated house staring at paintings of his dead loved ones. You walk out in one piece so many times that you let yourself think that he's no threat to you, you have a good relationship with him, he likes you too much to kill you. He's got a lot to say about the grief of immortality and you foolishly listen. He never tries to convince anyone to die for him, but somehow he does. You're just another tragedy in his beautifully melancholic story, of course you'll let him consume you. You keep listening to him talk about predators, prey and inevitability while he restrains you. You could have left and never come back, the door isn't locked, but you didn't even try to go.

He likes inner thighs. It's intimate and he doesn't have to look at your face while he betrays you as he was always doomed to. You could kick him off, but you stare at the ceiling and let him feed instead.

Noah

He's similar to Nicholas in that you've known him for a while and you trust him before he makes a move. You're either his romantic type or a close friend. He breaks in one night when you're sleeping. He tries not to wake you up, but you do wake up and try to fight. He says he's sorry and he cares about you but he needs your blood. He keeps apologising the whole time he's killing you and he really is sorry. He breaks his own heart a lot, targeting people he likes.

Favourite place is the chest. He likes that he can savour feedings with the low blood flow. Maybe he'll have a few cheeky cuddles while he's there, the affectionate fuck.

[roley-poley-foley]

Graphic violence, mutilation, cannibalism, werewolves

Jolly pulled his sword out of the last survivor's body with a boot to his chest, lip curling. The fort settled into a deathly silence as he died coughing and crying.

"What about this one?" Nicholas asked.

Jolly looked into the cell he was eyeing. A large, pale figure crouched there, ribs protruding sickeningly.

"Hey!" Nick clapped at the bars of the cell. "You alive in there?"

"Hold on." Jolly went to the small table in the corner of the room.

Atop it was a roll of cloth tied with string. The small paper tag attached to it read werewolf hair. Beside the bundle were more unused tags reading things like werewolf claws, werewolf heart and werewolf hide.

"Cut off one of their arms."

"Don't mind if I do," Nick replied.

Jolly carefully untied the string and unrolled the cloth, finding long black hair in a neat knot. He looked at the wretch in the cell and the messily cropped hair atop its head.

"Gods." Nick stood, holding the arm he'd just severed with his knife in a tight grip.

"You want a minute alone with it, or..." Nicholas said.

Jolly took the arm from Nick before he could get any ideas and tossed it between the bars of the cell door.

The pathetic creature moved faster than Jolly had expected, snatching up the arm and sinking its teeth into the meat.

"Guard dog," Nicholas guessed, "They were starving him into submission."

"More like they didn't have anything to feed him," Jolly replied, "No livestock and nobody's used the roads around here in weeks according to those survivors. Basically since people started disappearing." He watched the beast tear meat from the arm with blunt, human teeth. "I'm guessing they just wanted him to last until the full moon so that they could harvest more parts from him. They have some tags ready on the table."

Nick crouched in front of the cell, somberly staring at the werewolf. "Can we help him?" he asked softly.

"We can't predict what he'll do once he's out."

"Look at him, man, he's not gonna do shit. He's half dead, I can smell it."

"You didn't smell him when we came in," Nicholas pointed out.

"Exactly, his scent is weak. If he had it in him to be a threat it would be strong enough to smell like a challenge."

"You wanna take him back to that village of survivors we just rescued from these raiders and nurse him back to health?"

The werewolf was now watching them with black eyes as it sucked on bloody bones.

"If he can't behave, I'll kill him myself," Nick vowed, "I've heard werewolf hearts taste like the gods made them."

[roley-poley-foley]

"Look at me, princess."

The pup looked up at Jolly, quickly realised what he wanted and let his mouth drop open.

Jolly spat into it. "Good dog."

"Thank you, sir."

[roley-poley-foley]

Contains: death threats

"Genuine question," Noah begun.

Fuck. He was looking at Joakim. Nick shared a glance with Folio, bracing himself.

"Why do you hate us so much?"

"You as in the undead?" Joakim asked.

Noah nodded. "You make being undead sound like some terrible fate, but come on. We can live forever."

"It's wrong," Joakim said simply, "Mortals are meant to die, it gives our lives meaning."

"If you wanna die so bad, I can give you a hand."

"Noah," Nick warned.

"I'll be happy to take you with me."

"Jolly," Folio said sharply. A smile pulled at his lips when he looked back at Nick.

"There's also the whole King of the Dead thing. He's the one who raises most undead, am I wrong."

"He does," Noah confirmed, "What about it?"

"The dead should have no king. They should be free of worldly concerns like that."

"What about your oh-so-righteous king?" Noah asked with an eyeroll, "I'm guessing he could rule the dead, right?"

"No. Nobody should rule us after we die."

Noah sniffed and looked away. "My king is good. I'm honoured to serve him for as long as we both exist."

Joakim scoffed, but paused a moment. "Well. Might as well, right? Not much else to do since he destroyed the world."

"Come on," Folio cut in, "You knight types might not see any purpose outside the King of the Dead, but us normal people have plenty to live for."