#cykas part 32

[jisunwithtaeandkookie]

Can You Keep A Secret? Pt.32

Summary: Your close friend Taehyung, shares a secret with you, a big secret: You have had a crush on Jimin for the past 6 years. But what he doesn’t know is that you have done something bigger than that, something that could destroy many people’s lives in seconds. That is a secret for you to keep. But something even bigger is floating in the air: what you have done could destroy BTS’s friendship forever…but that is a secret even you don’t know yourself.

Pairing : Reader × Jimin/Taehyung ft. Other Members

Genre : Angst

Word Count : 2.2k

Two parts of the same city. Two people, still as time itself, as the shocking truth unfolded itself in front of them. He moved. I stood still.

“What are you yelling for?” Jungkook’s face peeked through the door which he had slammed minutes ago. His eyes flinched a little when he saw Taehyung’s expression before coming back to normal.

“Jungkook! This note…!” Tae ran up to him, who was still in the doorway. He was breathing heavily as his hand which held the paper trembled. Jungkook only glanced briefly in its direction. “You know, you shouldn’t give a suicide note to someone beforehand hyung,” he said casually, leaning on the doorframe as he crossed his arms in a relaxed manner.

“Jungkook…” Taehyung’s eyes seemed to be pleading for something.

“Not that I’m gonna stop you though, go ahead.” Jungkook shrugged nonchalantly, looking directly at him. Tae winced, as an unbearable pain seemed to be tugging at him.

“She loves me, Jungkook.”

Jungkook stood up straight, looking at Tae with an unusual gentleness in his eyes. In the perfect silence that surrounded the atmosphere, all of the pain and the longing was clearly audible in Tae’s voice.

“She loves me, Jungkook.”

“It’s about time you realised it, hyung.”

“She…loves…me…Jungkook.”

“Mhm.”

“She loves me, Jungkook.”

“How many more times are you gonna say that?”

Tae looked up, as a tear fell down his cheek. He had a look in his eyes that chilled Jungkook, same as eight months ago, but different. He looked back briefly at the table clock – still around half an hour until she had to go.

“I’m not letting her go anywhere.”

“..Huh?” It took Jungkook a few seconds to realize what Tae had said, and by that time he was already almost out the door. He collected himself, shaking his head to release all the emotions welling up inside him before running after him.

“What?” Tae said, looking down at his left wrist which Jungkook was holding firmly. “You can’t leave,” He said with an unusual expression on his face.

Tae looked at Jungkook for a moment, and then back down at the wrist which he was holding. In the next second, he broke his hand free in a swift motion and ran out the door.

“Hyung, stop-” Slam.

“Damn this guy,” Jungkook muttered.

Taehyung ran out of the house with an unexplainable power surging inside him. She had loved him. She had always loved him. That was what she had wanted to tell him when she had come to his place. Not the news that she was leaving the city. The goal was never that. She had been hoping that he would stop her from leaving. That he would tell her he still loved her. Because she still loved him. She never saw anyone else. In her eyes, he was the one- forever and only.

How could you do this, Y/N? How….after all the times I have hurt you, ridiculed you, slammed the door on your face, told you to go away millions of times….how can you still manage to do this? Everyone hates me…Jungkook, Jimin hyung, everyone..hates me…even I hate myself for being such a coward, for being such an asshole to you, for giving you pain because I was the one who misunderstood you…how do you do this, Y/N?

How do you still love me? Why…do you still love me? How dare you, Y/N? How dare you keep shining like the sun in my darkening life? How….why…why? You are….such an idiot!

Precious. She was precious to him. Right now, all that he knew was that she was the most precious in the world to him, and he did not want to let her go.

He had been wrong. He had been wrong about everything. From the very beginning. He was wrong about being scared that she would reject him if he confessed to her, he was wrong about her intentions when she was with Jimin, and he was wrong about her choosing someone, anyone, other than himself. She had loved him. She had always loved him.

And right now, as he ran through the streets, panting heavily, the tears streaming down his face left no room for one to wonder how much she meant to him.

Everything was whizzing by him. Everything stood silent around me.

“Jimin…why…?” I whispered, looking straight ahead. My nose was getting tingly; I was looking straight ahead but nothing really existed at the place where my eyes were focused on.

Jimin sighed softly, then stood up. “Y/N, I….please-”

“No,” I whispered again, taking a step back. I tried to look at him but my eyes were getting blurry with tears. “No…Jimin…why…?”

Jimin gulped. Balling his hands into fists, he looked down, trying to blink away the intense emotions welling up in his eyes.

“Jimin…I have to go…I can’t…” I whispered, again. I didn’t speak, I didn’t want to speak, I couldn’t speak.

“I am not forcing you, Y/N. You are free to do whatever you like.” I heard his small voice.

I couldn’t see him. Tears were flooding my eyes, and I could only do so much to not break down. A constant ringing was piercing my ears, breaking my everything into pieces.

“I am telling you this, Y/N. You can’t just go like this. If I have ever even meant anything to you, you can’t just leave.”

“Jimin…” I whispered so softly that no one could hear. Not even I could hear anything that I had to say. “Tae..” My lips, my heart uttered that word, but no sound came out this time.

Jimin unclenched his fists, and looked up. After a long moment, he extended his right hand towards me.

“Take my hand, and tell me where you want to go.”

I looked up at his words. I still couldn’t see him, and I wanted to. I wanted to know what he was thinking, I wanted to know what to do. I started sobbing, and didn’t even realize when I did. I was tired of everything. My hands trembled; I wanted to move them but couldn’t.

“Leave the city, or come with me. Take my hand, it’s your call, Y/N, but no matter what, you have to take my hand.” He whispered, and I tried to look at him again. This time, I saw a small smile on his face. Not like his usual one. Not like the Jimin one. He seemed as if he had no strength left, and the smile was sad, so sad…like he had lost a war with someone.

“I will always be with you, Y/N.” He kept smiling softly as a tear quietly rolled down his cheek.

In a flash, I realized what I wanted to do, and I extended my hand towards his already extended one.

“Hyung, would you stop?” Jungkook yelled, grabbing Tae from behind by his collar moments before he was about to enter her door. How the hell did you catch up to me, he wanted to ask, but didn’t; he already knew the answer. “Let me go already!” Instead, he yelled profusely, and pushed him back. Jungkook lost his balance but managed to not fall, and Tae opened the door to her house.

“She…is gone.”

The house was empty. Nothing remained in the empty room where he stood, except a faint scent of her in the air which indicated that she was here moments ago. That he had lost her by a small margin.

“I can’t believe it.” He whispered.

Jungkook came behind him, and looked quizzically at the empty room. “Hyung…I told you to stop.” He said in a soft voice, holding his stomach, tired from all the running.

Tae couldn’t feel the tiredness. He couldn’t feel anything. She…was gone?

His hands clenched into fists, and then they trembled and unclenched. A crumbled piece of paper fell down from his hands. Jungkook bent down to pick it up as Tae turned back robotically and started to walk away from the house slowly.

“Hyung, you..” Jungkook trailed off as he saw Tae walk away. Everything was just as he wanted it to be, but it hurt.

It hurt.

It hurts.

It hurts me, Y/N.

Where are you? Why did you leave me?

You loved me, right?

That was what you wrote, right?

So why did you run away? Like me?

You loved me, right?

So why did you run away?

“Tae, I am writing this letter to tell you that I am not running away. Actually….scratch that. I don’t know why I am writing this letter. Heck, I don’t even know if you will read it or not. Maybe you’ll tear it up and throw it in a trash can, or burn it up like in the movies, you know? Haha, scratch that too, actually. You won’t. I know you won’t. Because…Tae, I know you have a good heart. I know you’re over me, but I also know that you used to love me. I am not saying that I know it all. I don’t know anything. I don’t know what you’re going through at this moment. I see an undeniable pain in your eyes, and every time you turn your face away from me, I feel that you are hiding something that is eating away at your soul for some reason. I don’t know what that reason is, but I want to know. Or at least, wanted to. I wanted to do a lot of things actually, Tae. I wanted to go to that park with you again…to see you making that cutely annoyed face when I bought that sugar-free drink. To watch movies with you, to do window shopping, to walk with you under the moonlight, to sit with you on the beach under the starry sky and listen to you talk about your dreams and desires. And when you changed, I wanted to know why. I wanted to help you. I wanted to share your pain, because it hurt me seeing you suffer alone. You were pushing me away. Possibly because you don’t want anything to do with me anymore. You’d be right. I don’t have any authority over you. You said no to me despite knowing that I chose you, and I respect your decision. It was probably because I don’t deserve you. And I understand. That is why I am leaving. And I am leaving happily, Tae. I have no regrets, nor do I resent you in any way. Maybe my being in front of you was hurting you. And I understand. I am not running away, Tae. I am leaving because I love you.”

You said you loved me, Y/N.

So why? Why? Why, when I had just started to have faith in you, only to realize that I trusted you since forever….why did you turn your back on me then? Turning the back on people and running away was my thing. Something that I hated about me. Something that kept me away from you for so long. Something that hurt you, that hurt me, Y/N. You were supposed to be the key to my salvation.

“You were supposed to save me, Y/N.” He whispered. He had stopped walking a long time ago, it was just the tears that hadn’t stopped. And now he stood in the middle of the road, looking up at the sky.

“Why did you leave me? Why did you…”

His legs gave away, and he sat down on the road, looking down. He felt alone. In the big city, between thousands of people, he felt alone. He felt as if he had lost something invaluable.

“Why did I let you go???”

No one answered. The knot in his chest got tighter, and no one was there to understand his unspoken words anymore.

“I am sorry…!” That was all he could say before he broke down sobbing on the concrete path. The tears streamed down mercilessly, and he felt a piercing pain in his heart.

“I am sorry, Y/N. I am so sorry. I let you go. I let you go yet again. You were always there for me, and I couldn’t even get past my fears to see that you were. Even though…even…though…you said you loved me a million times, I just…misunderstood you. And now when I know everything, you are just….gone, and I can’t….I can’t tell you anything anymore. I am so sorry, Y/N. I am so sorry…!”

Jungkook stood silently at the doorstep of her house, looking painfully at Tae. Tears made way through his eyes onto his face, but he didn’t move. He couldn’t; Tae wouldn’t listen to anything anymore.

“Where did you go, Y/N? Why did you go? I am so sorry, Y/N. I am so sorry I hurt you. Please come back.” His tearful voice pierced Jungkook’s ears and he shivered, for there was so much pain in it that it was unbearable for him to even listen to it.

“Please come back, Y/N, please. I promise I will not hurt you ever again. I will protect you from…from everything that might hurt you. Don’t leave me…please come back, Y/N, please, please!”

…..

…..Please....Y/N....

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…..Please...

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.....

.....

.....

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“…I am right here, Tae.”

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Can You Keep A Secret? Pt.32

Part 31///Part 32///Part 33

SERIES MASTERLIST

Hey, guys!! Long time no see. So here is the newest update after a whole century (I'm so sorry ><). I only hope you guys just have a good time while giving it a read, and I'll be happy. If you have anything to ask me or tell me anything about anything you want to, ask me and if you want to talk (bcz we're all feeling alone these days in quarantine aren't we?) you can always, always DM me and let's chat!!! Make sure you take care of yourself, too, okay? Stay updated, and happy reading!!