#dadbastianneededadvice

[cangrellesteponme]

NOVEMBER 3RD - NEEDED ADVICE

(read this on AO3 here)

dadbastian week day six! the penultimate entry, already?

this one is... there is not much going on. one of my sillier renditions of sebastian being an idiot in agni's vicinity, essentially.

in which sebastian asks a good friend for help when his young master gives him the cold shoulder.

enjoy!

When his friend opens the door, Sebastian doesn’t give himself any time to back out of this — it is not quite a matter of life or death, but being inherently exempt from both, he feels that the situation is dire enough to warrant the same kind of attention.

“Mr. Agni, I need your help.”

“Mr. Sebastian, is it nice to see you… alone? How unusual. Is your young master—”

“He is well,” Sebastian immediately cuts in. “I… have been dismissed for the day.”

Agni stares at him in disbelief, but after a few seconds — long enough for Sebastian to feel uncomfortably seen, scrutinised, and dissected — he seems to accept it as the truth it is.

“…I assume this has something to do with your visit, then.”

No time like the present. “He is terribly mad at me.”

The following silence is awkward in a way that forces Sebastian to interpret it as a call for further explanation.

“And this wouldn’t usually be a problem, especially since he doesn’t ask anything of me that interferes with my duties as his butler, or the oaths that bind me to him.”

Silence, again. Sebastian thinks Agni looks very unimpressed with the formal, impersonal phrasing he chose, so he adapts.

“…But I don’t like it.”

This is going to be difficult, Agni thinks. Though he holds a particular fondness for his friend, the theatrics of his constant bickering with the earl are migraine-inducing on a good day. It has only gotten worse as he has grown warmer and more affectionate towards the boy — which is going about as well as it possibly can, so terribly. 

Not for the first time since he met him, Agni wishes Sebastian could be less obtuse.

“The first step to redeem yourself in his eyes is quite simple, my friend.”

Silence stretches between them as Sebastian merely watches Agni realise very few things are quite simple when it comes to his… social relations. To his credit, he does get back on track quite fast.

“If you’ve truly done wrong, then an apology is in order. Reassure him of your intent to do better in the future, and hopefully he will believe and forgive you.”

“I have already tried that, actually.”

“Ah. I must say I’m glad to see so much personal growth, even if it apparently hasn’t gone too well?”

“He refuses to hear a single word from me, and insists on having me dismissed as soon as the bare minimum of my work is done.”

Sebastian does not want to think about what he must look like right now, defeated and resigned by a moody child’s refusal to talk. Part of him knows it is understandable to feel this way, as this is not any child, but one he would almost dare to consider his, but most of his thoughts revolve around the sheer ridicule of the situation.

Agni gives him an undoubtedly pitying look and Sebastian feels a bit like a wounded, confused animal. Something small, with a fast heartbeat. The thought gives a warm tinge to his embarrassment.

“What you need is a peace offering,” Agni eventually says, in that light and clear tone of his that means he wants Sebastian to listen and learn. “Of course you’ll run into closed doors if you make no effort to open them.”

“…Are you recommending bribery, of all things? I thought I’d never see the day.”

“Not bribery, no, it’s… extending an olive branch, of sorts,” Agni corrects, though he looks somewhat flustered at the accusation. “The ideal branch being something that he likes, but cannot have without you providing.”

“There is not much he can get without me, really.” Surprisingly easy. Do all emotional problems come with odd but simple solutions?

“...Right. One of these days, you and I are going to have a talk about that.”

As that sounds particularly unpleasant, Sebastian immediately starts coming up with ideas instead.

Eventually, they come to agree that Sebastian should bake whatever sugary monstrosity his young master likes the most. Agni watches with no small amusement as Sebastian stands, and almost reaches for his coat, but seems to remember something. After blinking slowly at the clock for a few seconds, he turns back to Agni, looking most contrite.

“I am also essentially banned from the manor for the next… six hours, still.”

Agni sighs. How does such a small child hold grudges so fiercely?

He truly considers ignoring his own morals and being unhelpful for the sake of having a peaceful day. However, his exasperation is far outweighed by his fondness and sympathy for his friend, who is in clear need of a helping hand — despite his… rather intense love for cats, Sebastian reminds Agni of a dog left in the rain on most days. So, he decides to provide.

“…You may stay and use the kitchen here, if you’d like.”

As Sebastian returns to the manor, his steps are light with the feeling of a job well done.

Even though the “cake” would be better described as a condensed block of all kinds of chocolate, he knows it is to the earl’s taste — as in, too sweet to be reasonable — and will please him greatly.

When, at last, nothing but a door stands between him and his young master, he can’t help but think of the incredible irony of feeding delicacies to the boy who essentially is his very own chocolate cake. It is a ridiculous thought. Perhaps the hunger is getting to his head.

(It would be more accurate to say it has been getting to his head for more than a handful of years now, and these days he can’t quite distinguish the ache of hunger pains from his newfound yearning. Not that it will matter, in the end.)

Sebastian cautiously knocks. No answer.

“I’ve come with cake. Your favourite, specifically.”

“...Come in.”

Naturally, the child is still mad despite the cake, as these things take time. However, the offering is enough for Sebastian to be given back the right to stay by his side as usual, and that is more than enough.

The relief he feels makes Sebastian understand his boy’s love for all things sweet.

[blackbutlerfandomnerddomain]

Pride, Identity, and Advice (Dadbastian Days 1,2,5,6)

“Young Master, why are you up?”

The butler got used to everything the manor has to offer. The cracks on the stone walls, the plants that grow and overgrow like a human connection, the way the rain falls on the windows during the storms and gentle weather change, the many attackers who come by to try and ruin the manor in some way, the faces in and out of the doors often. But he was never used to seeing his Young Master, now in his teens, awake in the dead of night with a melancholy look on his face. Ciel glanced up to his butler in black as he stood by the rain-covered window of his bedchambers, a blanket barely wrapped over his shoulders like a cap as his bare feet were flat on the wooden flooring.

The sounds of sniffles and the sight of tears still linger a foreign thing to Sebastian even after so many years living among the mortals and humans, yet still now it creates cracks in his beating drum of an organ when seeing the tears on pale cheeks. What hurt his chest more was the sight of his master wiping his face in a hurry with blanket covered hands. “I’m just checking how bad the storm is. Goodnight Sebastian.” Ciel then hurries away before his butler could ask him any more questions on the night’s adventure.

—

“My my, you’ve grown to be quite a handsome young man My Lord.” “Why hello young man, are you here to pick up an order?” “You’re growing up to be a strong man, boy, you can get married soon.” “Such a kind boy, your future bride must be so lucky.”

All day was busy with the master and butler duo going around London for errands, getting mail, getting some new tea leaves of Ciel’s choosing, picking up some new seeds for the seasons’ changes, and finally a visit to Nina Hopkins’ shop to pick new clothes. Throughout the day, Sebastian kept looking at his little Lord and kept seeing this sunken and tired expression on his face, black gloved hands always clasping and rubbing against the material over his pale flesh.

As the two walk their way into the lovely tailor shop in town, the scent of candle light on oils and various fabrics filling their senses, they are imminently greeted by the woman in question who hurries over down the stairs to the two. “Good afternoon My Lord!” Cried Nina, brown eyes eager and glittering as the usual draw of amusement meets excitement. “Good afternoon Miss Hopkins. You seem excited.” Said Sebastian with a small smile, honestly enjoying the tailor’s passion for her profession ever since he helped the pair with costumes for their musical theater project they shared. They still aren’t quite there to be the friends he would say. Nina smiled wide and straightened her back in pride, “Of course!” She cheered, “I always love to work with the Earl! Measuring him and designing the most perfect outfits are pure excitement, especially since I’m here witnessing the glorious slot of time of when a boy becomes a man!” She practically squealed out the last part as she did a small dramatic spin of her heels, earning some amusement in Sebastian. The woman clapped her hands together when she turned to the small Lord with a beaming smile, “Now then, shall we take you recent measurements, My Lord?” She pauses when noticing Ciel is looking off to the side, speaking a touch louder now, “Ahem.” Ciel’s shoulders tense as he whirled his head to her and blinked rapidly, imminently collecting himself with an assuring smile, “O-Oh I apologize, yes we shall.”

As the two walked to the fitting room, Sebastian glanced to where his master could be looking at only to see the photos of wedding gowns Nina has made over the years.

—

Sebastian pondered as he sliced the lamb he has in front of him. His master just has been acting weird, it’s almost too questionable with the recent events. He’s used to the thought of “Oh humans are just different” but rarely has that come up due to thoughts of Ciel. Maybe it’s puberty? Could he perhaps be upset about something? Did he maybe have a fight with his twin? So many possibilities that he can’t quite pick and naw on properly.

A small squirt of meat snaps him out of his drowning thoughts, he glances down to the lamb meat before him. In a strange way, seeing the cut lamb reminded him a bit of his master… The pale skin bruised and bitten up as if eaten alive, The sad swollen eyes of misery staring at everyone blankly, The dark wool of hair on top his head with any signs of horns not yet peeking or perhaps cut off, The black coated hooves that ache and numb from many fights and giving ups.

The demon realizes at that thought he’s more so thinking of the night they met… When that Earl was this scared sad child filled with trauma and guilt of a thing he couldn’t have control over nor had the option of what would happen that week… That boy starved and hurting… Sebastian, over the many many years he’s been on this plane of life and death, is used to many forms of humanity being far more cruel than demons can ever be. He got used to those terrible actions on people, on children who people preach and pray should never be harmed in any way only to turn their back when the child needs help most. Yet, he never actually saw the effects of the aftermath of such slaughter and cruelty…

“The meat will spoil if you stare at it too long, Mr Sebastian.”

The butler’s head jerked up fast and hard, almost throwing him in a rough dizzy, and slowly a smile stretched on his lips as his red eyes showed a small twinkle of warmth. “I didn’t hear you enter, Mr Agni.” A bandaged hand touched the shoulder of the demon as the man in green stood beside him, gray eyes warm and softened like melting chocolates as he looked to his butler companion. “What is on your mind, my friend?” Asked him with a small head tilt. Sebastian sighed softly and began to move his hand about to care for the meat to prepare for dinner, his words sliding out easily like a flowing water fountain, “It is my Young Master. He has been acting differently than usual. Wandering the manor at night, growing sadder and sadder with each passing second, spacing out at the strangests of times. And yet I cannot at all figure out how to ease his worried heart and soul. Somehow this feels… far different than I am used to.” Agni listened calmly before giving a thought, “Perhaps you should have a conversation with him. He may be secretly yearning for someone to come talk to him about what is weighing his mind, as I have sensed with you Mr Sebastian.” Sebastian chuckled some, “You don’t need to be so formal with me, Mr Agni. I will take your advice nicely though, but I do fear he won’t answer honestly…” “He will. Your bond is far stronger than anything I have ever seen Sebastian, you both can easily sense when the other is needing care as proven so many times of you to him and him to you, like when you were required to rest of the ship incident.” The butlers look at each other and smile, small giggles exciting lips as they recall the leaving of such a “vacation” only to come back bloody and bruised and scary stories to come with.

Blond hair peeks out the door frame of the kitchen door as Baldroy looks in, his blue eyes scanning the area curiously. “What got you in a giggling mood?” “Oh, just…memories.”

Sebastian looked to his side, only to see it empty but still warm as if a body was there just a few seconds ago. A bitter coldness filled his chest as he took in a shaky breath and a calmer sigh out. He turned to the chef and smiled, “May I help you with something, Mr Baldroy?” Baldroy shook his head and sputtered, “I… was just wondering if I can help with anything…” “Well don’t just stand there, come on in, Mr Baldroy.”

—

The butler walked down the dark halls of the manor until he arrived at the bedchamber door of the Earl of Phantomhive. Quietly, he enters and sees the lad already dressed for bed and reading, albeit a slight mess much like his life during that damn circus case. “My Young Master, have you decided I am not needed to assist you?” Sebastian said in a joking manner, only to gain silence and avoided day clashing colored eyes back. 

With a sigh and sat at the foot of the bed and turned to the teen, dragging his tongue to lick his dry lips as he chose his words carefully. Finally, after mentally rereading his script of the conversation, he spoke out his query, “Young Master, I have noticed your behavior has been… odd as of late. Is something eating away at you?” Ciel turned away from him. “Don’t be silly, of course no–” “Young Master,” The master turned and looked at his butler, surprised by the sudden stern voice as if a father was scolding a child gently. “I swore to you I would never lie,” The butler continued, “And I would like you to be honest with me, just for tonight. I will rephrase my question; What is eating away at you?”

He took a mental notice of Ciel’s pale lips trembling some and how his hands tighten at the book in his hands. Finally, after what felt like weeks and months of waiting, the Earl sighed and actually settled in his spot on the bed though his eyes haven’t yet reached the older. 

“Have you… ever felt like you were… going crazy Sebastian?”

For the first time, the words threw the demon in confusion and curiosity.

“Excuse me, what do you mean, My Lord?” Ciel huffed, a weak smile cracked on his face, “Of course, what a silly question. You’re a demon after all, you don’t even know the true pain of insanity…” Sebastian took more mental notes as he examined his master’s emotionally weak state, “Do you feel that way, My Lord? That you’re in insanity?” The Earl paused, that’s when Sebastian became aware he hit the nail on the head. “My Lord,” Sebastian started, easing his voice in a soothing calming manner, but was interrupted by Ciel’s sudden emotional words, “Don’t say you understand what I feel! How could you possibly understand this… this… this insane emotional hurricane that bubbles under my skin? To understand the burning feeling of them still lingering? The blood that can never be seen or unwashed under my nails? You don’t! You don’t understand these thoughts that haunt me! Their voices that taunt me! Telling me I can’t feel angered by my past if my heart fluttered at someone of the same sex as me, or if I adore the strong will of a woman outside my line of sight… The constant thoughts and strangling pains when I hear the foul words of everyone around me, telling me how much of a man I should be… The most perfect English gentleman… That I need to wed to a woman or else I’m not lovable… Knowing if I refuse somehow I’ll… I’d…” 

As he watched his small shoulders raise and fall in soft wheezes, the butler in black thought hard of his words. Yes, what he said is true… He’ll never understand these feelings. The feelings society pushed into him that clashed terribly with such strong emotions. 

Sebastian reached out and placed a hand on the Earl’s head who, like a rabbit being pet, the smaller pushed into the palm seeking comfort. Wheezing breaths leaving pale yet bitten lips as paler cheeks are already staining with tears and emotional flush. “What’s wrong with me Sebastian…? I’m losing my mind… I must be… Having such thoughts and feelings–” The butler stopped his master’s words with stern yet gentle words of his own, “There is nothing wrong with you My Lord. The minds of society around you are wrong.” Sebastian carefully took the Lord’s face into his hands and wiped away the tears the best he could, heat breaking at that pained look on his small face, “They tell you since the day you were born what life you should have merely based off their own beliefs without knowing a thing about you and how you feel about them planing the play of life of you. If it were me, I would be more than eager to tell you if you want to kiss a boy, go for it. If you want to wear gowns, then just do it. If you want to scream at Christ and the Lord for not answering your eager prayers, I’ll scream with you in glee. No one should be entitled to tell you how you should feel… Not after I’ve seen how much you dug your own way out of Hell.”

The teen’s shaky breath was his only reply back. Not until their arms fell forward as the Earl’s head landed on Sebastian’s chest as he hiccups and sobs away. Sebastian, with even more ache against his chest, wrapped his arms carefully around the smaller figure, gloved hands rubbing soft circles around his head and back that shake and bob with each cry. “I’m very proud of you, My Lord, you should be proud of the person you grew to be…”

—

After that night of the Lord crying himself to sleep in the demon’s arms, Sebastian made quick work of making sure his master was comfortable and not stressed out about everything. He handled the stuff connected to the Funtom Company. He made sure the manor and estate were good and clean. He explained to the servants very simply and easy to understand that their master is feeling blue as of late and to politely refrain from calling him things like “Mister” or “Sir”  but not start calling him “Miss” or “Lady” as that’s not what the master wants either and treat him as they treated him prior. He made his master his favorite treats for the day. He called Nina and informed him of small changes of the wardrobe designs to fit more comfortably for his master’s true nature. He even contacted the Trancy Manor and Blavat, two places of people he despises, if the teens under their care can be so kind to visit for the day. After all, if he can’t ease the worries of his master after battling with his own identity and self worth due to society’s harsh rules and the trauma of his past, what kind of butler would he be?

Sebastian watched as the afternoon slowly shifted to night as his master, now dressed in an outfit that’s best fitted in the term of androgyny, enjoying a simple game of Old Maid with the blond Lord of Trancy and brunette circus performer of the stars. In a blink he sees the small child that stood before soiled with blood and ruins and tears, sunken sad eyes staring at him with no light to be seen. 

Blinking again, he sees the picture again now, seeing the light that not only fills the blue eye of his master, but around him.

Yeeeaaaah, lowkey inspired by this song

I missed the previous prompts so I had them planned for yesterday since my head was empty on that prompt, then I saw today's prompt and went, "well this fits" so here we are!

This is for the @dadbastianweek2023 thingy which is very nice lol I grew to like some of your's headcanon of nonbinary OCiel Phantomhive (he/they) so thanks yall for that Edit: I decided to make this yet ANOTHER long story for another prompt, it's already angsty let me have this!

[kuroshitakemushrooms]

dadbastian week day 6 & 7:

NEEDED ADVICE/SETTING SUN

me when i finish my last piece for @dadbastianweek2023 half an hour before day 7 ends (i did not have time to do two pieces sooooooo you get one that's a bit longer eheh)

fun fact of the day: kuro II is the only anime in this series i've seen :] i read all the manga, but i just haven't been able to watch the anime ¯\_(ツ)_/¯