#danel: THIS IS THE OPPOSITE OF SELF CARE

[haunting-of]

There were more shadows than usual, for this time of day. They were cast heavy and dark over dumpsters and trash bags, over a few doors with no handles to try, on mediocre lights that weren’t working. Danel glanced over the couple dozen windows, considering climbing some of the fire escapes to check inside.

No... If Jesha wanted to be found, he would have found them by now. He’d been searching for hours, feeling them nearby, but not even catching a glimpse of them. One question was on his mind.

What was Jesha turning into?

They’d been acting strange for a while, and not just their personality. It was the body temperature, the higher intuition, the control of external factors, how they had no need to sleep. 

None of that was a red flag for Danel, that’s just how the body operated when his demon soul was present. He was always just a little bigger than himself. He remembered from when he was human, though.

He remembered humans don’t normally have any of that, just like Jesha didn’t used to.

There was no one else around. No movement in or past the buildings. Ghosts were milling around, cold spots passing up and down the alleyway with whispers filling the air. An abnormally high concentration, indicating either a mass grave beneath his feet, or...

He looked up, between the empty, silent apartment buildings. Or it was above him.

They must still be nearby.

“Okay, so everyone's dead here," Danel started, talking no louder than a conversation. If Jesha wanted to hear, they'd hear. "I'm not judging, I just think it's something we should talk about."

Jesha faced the window and didn’t look at the still-warm body behind them. They didn't consider how they could hear them through the building, or however many storeys up they were. They were paying attention to Danel.

He wanted to talk? Now?

Jesha hadn't replied, but it sounded like someone was listening. Maybe they were in the area. “You have to stop running from me. I'm sorry I lied, but I only wanted to help you. I still only want to help you, Jesha.”

Their nose wrinkled. Since Danel had come out as a demon from hell, they'd had the chance to really reevaluate his personality. There were some things they could accept now.

So was he a demon from hell? Sure. Was he 'alive' before humans were a species? Fine. Was he smart? Looking back, with all the insight he should've had? Rarely.

And maybe he was holding back, keeping his abilities in check before. So what? He... He...

Tch, Jesha clicked their tongue. The ghosts in the room had surrounded them, and were talking too loud for them to think.

Danel jumped at the small sound, far away and behind a wall. A sinking feeling grew in his body as the ghosts in the alleyway began congregating in one spot. Jesha didn't want to be found, but those flocking ghosts made for a dead giveaway.

They were getting way too close to too many ghosts.

From inside, Jesha had fallen to the wall. They could hear Danel trying to break the bricks that separated them over the sound of the dead speaking to them, but the ghosts were starting to drown him out. Shaking, they backed away from the floor and tried to block out the noise with their hands.

Once the ghosts started talking, they just.

Didn’t.

Stop.

He leapt up to the closest fire escape ladder and climbed until he reached the window, going to open it before receiving a cold shock from touching the pane. The ghosts were blocking him out?? Not even this many of them could-

Danel realized what was happening too late.

"Jesha!!" Danel yelled, scaring birds from the rooftops. "Jesha, stop!!"

Jesha was still curled up on the wall, and now the whole room was spinning around them. The wall shook with the rhythm of a heartbeat.

They understood. Danel was scared. He’d actually been scared a lot, always keeping them away from monsters, always trying to hold all his secrets inside. He hadn't been scared of Jesha until now. 

But he didn’t know all the death they could bring. Had he ever noticed the killer incubating inside of them? Their mind was already this diseased, and it took him this long to notice? It took him this long to be afraid?

He should be scared.

The noise of the ghosts in the room weren't so loud now, or maybe they could just hear them better. They slowly uncurled on the wall. Jesha couldn’t help what had seeped in, congealing inside them. Whose fault was that, Danel? Whose fault? Jesha stood.

Danel, he fucked it up. Get away from the ghosts? What about the demon that was fucking latched onto them? Lied, instead of keeping them safe? Attracted more and more ghosts, demons, more and more trouble?

And now Jesha was changed, they decided, getting a little bit colder than before. Listening to the ghosts that were spiralling through the room, they tried their hand at controlling the way they spun.

Success. It looked like Danel wasn't superior anymore. So, fucking right he should be scared, especially since he was still an idiot.

Jesha hadn’t been running from him.

They were chasing Vincent.

[t-lane-writes]

Here’s another update on my progress on The Specters. :)

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Emma’s chapter after her argument with Anaher was a difficult one, and I may have blocked on it a little. She’s chaotic, unpredictable and right now she’s really not in a good place emotionally. She needs guidance and that’s what Anaher was for her for...pfff, many, many years.

I accidentally realized one thing -- the only time he was not near her, since they first met, when she was twelve, was when he went away to take care about his little brother Troy, for about half a year, when she was seventeen. Back then she was really upset about this, she felt he abandoned her, and it caused a huge rift between them for longer than that half-a-year. And here, he’s not paying attention to her and her problems, again because of Troy. Important thing is that she realizes that.

See, Emma is a very self-aware person. There’s her emotions and there is her logical thinking, and they are not aligned. In fact, they often tell her opposite things, and it’s tough being her when she’s caught in between. Anaher and Nersan usually help her navigate that, but at this moment Anaher is focused on his brother and Nersan lost her trust, because of all the secrets he kept from her (which weren’t as serious. it was more a “lie of omission”, than a deliberate, malicious action).

But she came on top, sort of. At least, she made the right decision under the circumstances -- to come back with Anaher to Majid and take Troy with them, because he really needs help. However, that was a logical decision. Her emotions weren’t dealt with at all. They are still in there and she will have to address them at some point.

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Then there was Nersan’s chapter -- two, actually -- and those were surprisingly easy. I had a dialogue for one of them written already, so it was about adding some reactions and thoughts. The other one dealt with a situation I thought so much about before, it almost wrote itself.

Nersan stayed in the Extremists camp with the youngsters, Danel and Jan-Rei, because Danel asked him for help. He’s going to keep an eye on them, and together they have Things(tm) to discover.

He’s also under the influence of his former friends, Wendi and Willem, and Wendi is such a bad seed. Ohhh. I like how I wrote her in this chapter and how I wrote Nersan’s reaction to her. The dread, the creeps. Yeah. Sweet (in a “sour” sense).

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Emma, Anaher and Neve are back in Majid now and Danel and Jan-Rei’s parents, the Bessarions, demand answers. Why didn’t you bring our children back? Huh? HUH?!?!

Emma and Neve are summonned to their boss’s Agatha Itra’s office, by Aneshka Bessarion, and it’s Neve who explains that Danel is an adult and Jan-Rei is an almost adult. And they are protected by Nersan. Aneshka isn’t exactly satisfied by that answer, but then Emma, in her rude manner, tells her to suck it. Well, Emma will Emma. *shrug*

After that, Emma expects Neve to tell Agatha about her encounter with Leanor Bessarion (the relationship to other Bessarions is distant) and what Leanor had told her. As a result, Emma and Neve get a name of a guy they’d met briefly before, who is a University scholar, and who will not, never, ever help them access the documents at the University, that they want to access. Agatha advises them to not ask. To not even try.

Yeah. Like they will listen.

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And that’s where I’m at. It’s a wrap on Chapter #36

@echo-bleu you’re tagged. ;)