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dorothygale123 · 6 months

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Dragons.

Big, scaly, powerful and can eat you up, they're not exactly the kinds of beings you want to piss off, yet in the tale we're looking at today some idiots managed to do that in the worst way possible.

The story today has a few different names and versions, even appearing twice in my book. When I came upon the second instance, I literally had to do a double take because hadn't I read this before???? There are some differences, but the major plot beats are the same so we'll go over those first before looking at specifics.

A young man named Liu Yi is walking home from the capital after an exam when he spots a very pretty and very distressed young lady herding sheep by the road. Being a decent person, he goes over and asks her what's wrong at which point she reveals that she's actually a princess, the daughter of the dragon king, who'd recently moved in with her in laws after she got married. Unfortunately, her husband and his family are huge jerks and also idiots, because they thought it would be a good idea to abuse and mistreat the beloved child of the dragon king.

The girl says she has no way of telling her father what's happening to her and asks the man to pass on a letter for her to her family in Lake Dongting. Liu Yi of course agrees and delivers the letter. The dragon king let's him in, reads it, and is understandably furious. Though as mad as he is, he makes sure to tell everyone to keep quiet or else his brother Chiantang would hear and freak out.

Chiantang immediately hears about it and freaks out. Good work team.

See, Chiantang is basically on parol after causing some massive flooding due to his temper so he's supposed to keep his head down, but he also dotes on his niece like crazy and learning about her abuse sends him into a rage where he forgets that he's he's still on Heaven's sh*t list and just flies over to the house of idiots and kills everyone he can find, earning each of them a Darwin Award. Thankfully, the current emperor decides this outburst was justified and also he doesn't feel like dealing with it, so all Chiantang gets is a stern 'don't do that again.' He then takes his niece and goes home.

At said home, Liu Yi is still there because Chiantang decimated that entire clan in a few hours. They throw a party, and during the drinking Chiantang says it would be a great idea for the young man to marry the princess, but he declines and goes back to his village to eventually marry someone else.....

OR SO HE THINKS! For you see, his bride was actually the dragon princess in disguise because she really did want to marry him for saving her. It takes a while for her to come clean about this, but once she does they get over it, move into her parents' house and live happy immortal lives together.

There are a few small differences, for example one story had the man going back after passing his exam while the other had him failing, and one of them actually gets widowed twice before the dragon princess sneaks off to marry him. This indicates that this is a very popular story with a lot of regional variants, though I can't say I think the stories I read were different enough to have separate entries in the same book. Like, at least Shen I and Hou Yi had major differences, but here? The biggest differences are in the spelling, and I'm not getting on that soapbox again. What do you think?

Sh*tpost Masterlist

#mythology sh*tposting #chinese mythology #mythology #dragons #chinese dragons #dragon king #dragon princess #dragon princess divorce #seriously why did her in laws think abusing her was a good idea #they deserved what they got #darwin awards for everybody

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a-local-idiots-shitpost · 7 months

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Lucifer with a Changeling!Mc

this piece belongs to this and has 1034 Words

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he hoped that the Human exchange student would be less troublesome than his Brothers but not only did they cause more trouble than all of his Brothers combined in such a short while, they also managed to wrap everybody around their grimy little fingers (him included but he´s the one who got them so he makes and exception) and to top it all of they aren´t even a Human, no as it turns out they got bamboozled by a Changeling without them even meaning to

Lucifer doesn´t know what this means for the Exchange Program because technically they aren´t a Human but he wants to know more than anything is why they didn´t tell anybody at all, worst of all when he tried to bring it up all he got was a “I thought everybody already knew about it” and if he didn´t like them he would have gladly strung them up from the ceiling

I mean he could still do it when they continue to ignore him when he asks why they immediately assumed that´s something him and his Brothers would believe when they were literally called exclusively Human at the beginning and before they captured everybodies hearts but no according to them it was obvious we thought they were a Changeling

they are so stupid he doesn´t know if he should punch or kiss them sometimes, most of the time… okay all of the time, they always end up getting roped into one of his Brothers or Diavolo´s frankly idiotic plans and always manage to weasel their way out of trouble by being as adorable as they physically can be and the worst it always works no matter who they use it on, like the situation they are in now Lucifer has to help them bury a body because a Demon thaught it would be a smart idea to make fun of them and Lucifer wouldn´t say the Demon deserves the Darwin award but not only are they the first person ever to get a pact from his and his Brothers, are a good friend of Diavolo´s, the apprentice to the most powerful Human sorcerer but every and he means every Demon knows they are very easy to anger and even easier to want to kill somebody, quiet frankly he´s surprised the Demon ever managed to live that long

“sooo want to talk about something? because you look like you want to blow that corpse up” they decided to stick their shovel into the ground and looked at him, he hopes they are just acting stupid and didn´t forget about his want for an explanation about the whole Changeling thing “yes I do want to talk about something, did you forgot about our whole discussion about you being a Changeling”

“I thought we were done with it? I think I explained it perfectly”

“screaming “surprise I always was a Changeling” is something I would hardly call a perfect explanation”

“in my eyes it was perfect” and there is the urge to punch and kiss this stubborn idiot again “let me guess you want to punch and kiss me again? i´m warning you about the punching part you saw what happened with the guy right there” they pointed at the remains of the Demon they were planning to bury with their shit eating grin that´s plastered on their face 24/7 but he knows they would never intentionally hurt them just as they know he would never do the same but this doesn´t stop from joking about it, he gave them a fond smile “oh really? I remember the last time you said this I easily subdued you, you barely even had a chance to react and now your threatening me? It almost sounds like you want a repeat of last time”

this got a small chuckle out of them “alright Gramps how about it after we buried that dude we can try again loser has to do whatever the winner wants” he frowned at their use of the nickname, due to his hobbies they love to call Lucifer either Old Man, Gramps or any variety they can think of he knows they are just a little shit that loves to mess with people but he won´t let them get away like this without answering his questions “your arrogance is quiet amusing truly but until you answer me I won´t go along with, we both know who win anyway” they pouted “fine I though the Supernatural could notice other Supernatural creatures, happy? I though all of you guys just played along with me being a Human”

“and why would you say that?” they looked at him with a blank look, this slightly worries Lucifer and hopes it actually wasn´t a real problem and them just being lazy like always “Barbatos knew I was a Changeling and said I shouldn´t tell Diavolo” this surprised but at the same time it didn´t, he wonders how Diavolo couldn´t because he usually picks up on such things rather quickly, even more so if he spends extended periods of time with a person but he didn´t expect Barbatos to keep it a secret from Diavolo though maybe he just didn´t want him to feel like the Exchange Program was set up to fail

“happy? because it´s looking like rain and I´m not looking forward to have my flesh melting of because of the Acid rain again” they grimaced “once was bad enough, why didn´t any of you warn me that can happen” he gave them an unamused look “weren´t you the one that because this is “Hell” nothing would surprise you” they threw up their arms “yeah but I still would have liked a warning”

Lucifer picked up his shovel and gave them theirs “well then you should spend less time chatting and more time digging” he gave them a short kiss “maybe you should have just called me, Cerberus would have gladly eaten that fool”

“yeah would have been better…” well at least they´ll know what to do for next time, the time saved they could join him on a factory tour he did hear there was on a Demonus factory he would love to take part in

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me fanfiction #obey me fic #obey me fanfic #obey me lucifer x reader #obey me lucifer x mc #lucifer avatar of pride #obey me lucifer

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trendingviral2videos · 5 months

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The Eric P Show Episode 1 #comedy #funny #humor