#debating posting this or not .. ... ... ... augh. if you see this i have been convinced to post this :')

[neptunesailing]

this is what i meant by 'back on my shit again' btw. d20 fantasy high has taken over my mind. do you forgive me

[mewtonian-physics]

Ranking MGS canon ships anon again, and yes you're spot on! Do not hold back, the world needs to know the truth (especially about the Raiden ships)

after an ungodly amount of time: HERE YOU GO ANON

19: Volgin/EVA

I refuse to post an image. I know I normally include images in posts like this but I don't want to look at that guy. Worst relationship in the entire series it's barely even a relationship at all and I wish it wasn't. I don't even want to describe the shit that goes on here. Poor EVA. Augh.

18: Volgin/Raikov

'Why is this so far down the list?' BECAUSE VOLGIN IS INVOLVED. I will never rank a relationship involving him in any way positively because I simply do not trust him to actually treat ANYONE well. God he creeps me out so bad. It may not be confirmed canon that this is an unhealthy relationship but you can't convince me that it isn't, because again. Volgin is involved. And I don't trust like that. Ever.

Also, go look at The Photograph (if you can stomach it). You know the one. Go look at it. The director's commentary says 'look at them smiling' but I only see one smile there. If anyone else can find the second one then please do let me know but I have traced the angle of his mouth and everything and it is distinctly curved downward, also he looks like he hasn't slept in a week. Please get this man some help. No more knocking him out and shoving him in lockers let's just get him some fucking help.

17. Strangelove/Huey

NIGHTMARE TOWN? NIGHTMARE TOWN???????? HELL ON EARTH AND PAIN AND SUFFERING AND AGONY????????????? FIRST OF ALL THAT IS A WHOLE LESBIAN WHY ARE THEY EVEN MARRIED. Secondly oh my god this is so fucked up. Literally what the fuck is wrong with Huey? 'Oh yeah please go out with me so I can marry you and then USE OUR CHILD AS A TEST SUBJECT AND FUCKING MURDER YOU WHILE I'M AT IT.' Sure. Okay. The only reason this isn't at the bottom of the list is because Volgin exists. He messes with the grading curve.

16. Raiden/Rose

Oh you knew this one was going to be low on the list. You knew it would be. This relationship is fucking horrifying and it's equally horrifying that I've actually been vagueposted about for disliking it with the implication that my criticism of it stems from misogyny and not, y'know, the fact that Rose literally lied to and manipulated Raiden for two years and then tried to play the victim and claim it was fine because she loved him and then DIDN'T CHANGE AFTERWARDS. I would probably have a very different view of this relationship if she hadn't immediately turned around and started lying to him and manipulating him AGAIN. She spends two whole games doing this, people. I don't know why anyone thinks this relationship is a good idea. Raiden needs a divorce, stat.

15. (One-sided) Emma/Otacon

Ugh ugh ugh I don't want to talk about this one. It's not as low on the list as it could be on account of how it isn't like, actively abusive, but also it's. Well you all know what it is. I don't want to talk about it.

14. (One-sided) Mistral/Armstrong

I have nothing to say about this one, really. One fucked up person having a thing for another fucked up person who literally never even mentions that she exists. Woohoo.

13. (One-sided) Dolzaev/Mistral

Yeah I don't really have much to say about this one either. Very nothing relationship. I just don't like the people in it.

12. EVA/Big Boss

I just don't like this one. Started off bad and ended up bad and didn't have a whole lot of good stuff in between. Also I'm worried about EVA's ability to even have a normal relationship with a man considering how she talks about men and women.

11. (One-sided) Otacon/Sniper Wolf

Ah, Wolf. The first victim of the Otacon Curse. We hardly knew ye. I don't have a lot to say here.

10. (One-sided) EVA/The Boss

I guess you could debate the canonicity of this one but come on man. Come on. Big Boss can't be the only one with a harem.

9. (One-sided) Strangelove/The Boss

Okay, it's not impossible that this wasn't one-sided, but we'll never know that now, will we? What we did get was kind of sweet, either way.

8. Vamp/Scott Dolph

'This is such a nothing relationship,' you might say. 'Why is it so high on the list?' Well. 1: it was actually reciprocal 2: this one is higher on the list in terms of how PURELY ICONIC it is. Can we get a cheer for canon bi representation? Can we get a cheer for a character being textually confirmed to be bisexual and previously in a relationship with another man? Let's fucking go! Victory!

7. Otacon/Naomi

Even I can't explain why this one is so high. I think it might just be the part where she says he has beautiful eyes. I don't know why that affects me so much. [gestures frantically] He stopped wearing glasses over it! What the hell!

6. Quiet/Venom

There was potential. But it was Metal Gear Solid V, so that potential was squandered. Still, we could have had something.

5. Meryl/Johnny

This one's also pretty nothing but I think about the fact that Meryl rejected his proposal just to turn around and propose herself all the time. Awesome. I love Meryl so much. (Also, it's one of the healthiest relationships in the series, so... win!)

4. Big Boss/Kaz

THE BOX, OKAY? THE BOX. YOU KNOW THE ONE. I KNOW YOU KNOW IT. AND THE SHOWER FIGHT? THEY DID NOT DO ALL THAT JUST TO NOT GET IN THE TOP FIVE. Wow, these two have literally so much going on all at once. Wow.

3. Big Boss/Ocelot

Possibly the most iconic relationship in the series. Fucked up, but iconic. Ocelot got one (1) gay crush and almost destroyed the world over it. Now that's dedication right there.

2. Venom/Kaz

Have you seen them interact? They may not be having shower fights or 'quality time' in the box but there's something there that's just... I don't know, man. It's sweet. Bit fucked up, as most relationships in this series are, but sweet.

1. The Boss/The Sorrow

That's right, folks. Today, straight people have rights.

Look, this relationship destroys me. It just destroys me. They loved each other!!! The fact that the Sorrow found out one of them had to die and just went 'okay, I'll let you kill me' torments me. He could have fought back and tried to kill her instead but he DIDN'T. He literally sacrificed himself for her and their child and I think about it so much. 'The spirit of the warrior will always be with you.' AUGH.

Also the fact that when it rains the Boss asks if he's there... oh my god. Ohhhhhhhh my god. I am incapable of being normal about this.