#definitely told us that sora DOES NOT like this situation and he would be willing to do anything to bring roxas back

[storm-driver]

from here

[0w0tsuki]

My take for the Main Theme of SDRA2

I know I said I wanted to talk about Syobai or trans Yuri first but I feel like in order to write my future kinda long post analysis essays I will first need to talk about this. Because it ties into a lot of how I view the characters designs.

And the thing I need to talk about is the themes that are the driving message. Dr1 had hope vs despair, Dr2 had the future, and Drv3 had Doubt vs Belief and Logic vs Emotion. But as SDRA2 is want to do it does the same but with a bizzar twist. Instead of sending a message it instead sends a question. "What makes you...you?". The equivalent of this is asked in the Mastermind Mikado's only FTE and he proposes a couple answers, though they will not be all of the answers look into this post. The answers I will be looking into are your genetics, your memories, your surroundings, the people close to you, fate, and finally yourself. And these answers are shown throughout the individual stories of each of the characters.

Let's begin with the initial 3 Mikado mentions in the FTE. Genetics, memory, and surroundings. The odd one out is has the most obvious correlation. Now I say genetics but it's more or so your body. But Mikado uses genetics as a reference for the Okononji twins, who have genetically the exact same bodies but are two and complete different people. Now with this is where we get to the faults in the logic of the Mastermind. He uses this example as a reason to discard the idea. To him it's plain and simple that your body does not affect who you are a person but it does. Just not to the extent that satisfies him. No matter how many times your memories are reset or your surroundings are changed there are just some things that will remain with you as a person because your just BUILT that way. But what little idea could an AI have of how the body effects you when he has none.

With the odd one out of the bunch out of the way let's get into what I believe are two sides of the same coin. Memories and Surroundings combine together to make a greater core theme of "The Past" in a way to spiritually Mirror the main game it's based off of whose main theme was the future. Memories I believe are a more solid form of how the past effects you as a person. They are specific. Things that your mind is able to pull up for you. Positive life changing experiences or in the case of our characters trauma. Mikado also dismisses the because as in the case of the former answer, it does not personally effect him. Mikado is an AI created to be an exact replica of the real version. Even his memory was deleted he would remain the same person. It's why Mikado's "backstory" are played by a robot Yomouri. A robot aproxamation of someone you know who's dead gives backstory on the motivations on a man who's dead and this info is actually if I'm correct doesn't even come up in the trial. And then he destroys because the backstory of the man who created him has no effect in his master plan.

Instead he suggests his answer. Your surroundings. Surroundings are morso how your past affects you in way you don't remember. Things that just sort of happen over the day to day and imprint themselves onto you. The things you do without thinking because that's the way you were raised. And with this we can begin to understand his thought on his own identity but also for creating the killing game. You see Mikado the AI had a completely different surrounding than the real one. A digital one. One no human could not experience. This is why I think while linuj said that the real Mikado would have gone down the same path that AI Mikado goes out of his way to make himself look so different. I also believe they have different end goals. Mainly because AI Mikado specifically destroyed and made irrelevant any motivation would have for seeking out Usturo. Now maybe one the the Mikado stans who have watched chapter 0 ten times over can extrapolate what the original's end goal might have been but that's not who were here for. What was Mikado's plan? It's one of two parts. First is to create the surroundings that led to "creating Utsuro" in the first game. Create a killing game, have each trial vaugly keep some of the elements as the representatives in the original killing game, and have a Yuki stand-in to experience it and ba da bing ba da boom. You got yourself an Utsuro....ok let's get into the secret ingredient that makes all this work.

FATE! The divine will of the cosmos! DESTINY!!! Or in the context of this story a plot device known as "The luck of the Heavens". Now I would kind of get into the mechanics of the luck but it was done some wack and contradictory bullshit. I'm at this point it just does whatever it wants. Because sometimes its working against his will but still pull of some crazy bullshit to fulfill the dying wish of his. And Mikado is kinda banking on the Ultimate luck to make everything just work? Like him being brought back is a good thing as the luck has thought in the past then the mere act at an attempt of resurrection should work. It's why he always says "The Outcome has Already been Decided" because even though he's not aware Sora posseses the luck he will believe it's still working in his favor. Funnily enough it works not out of Utsuro's will to live but out of Akane's desire to be with Utsuro. That horny fuck is still working her magic even when removed of her memories. You see I believe the way Akane received the luck from Utsuro is because he wished "that she would find someone who loved her in her next life and not someone like him". And now here she is in this new life. But now the luck is in possession of Akane the idea of someone to love her was different. The luck of the heavens was now following two different wills for the same goal. This is why we have Yuki, the one who will eventually become Utsuro, the one who Akane desires most. And also why we have Yoruko, Utsuro's last will, someone for Akane in her new life as Sora, someone who Sora latches onto not because she was saved from any pit of despair but out of the genuine kindness and caring she gave to her. Yes I'm going to say it. Soruko is the entire reason for the killing game but I will get more into that in my Soruko essay.

But while we are talking about Utsuro let's talk a bit about how we let others define ourself. This one affects more on an individual level than it does a narrative level so I'm just going to list some examples. Akane let's her obsession with Utsuro define her. Nikei let's his hatred of Mikado define him to the point where his little void card focused rather than it did his actual trauma that led to him becoming a void like it did with the others. You learn that in her past Yoruko changed a lot of how she looked and lived in order to get closer to one person. Sora is affected in many ways affected by Akane. Someone who is like with the twins the same as her but not her. A wholey different person that lives on through her. All of the voids let their desire to see Utsuro define them.

And we get to our final answer. And remember none of these are to be the definite answer but all of these inform who you are. But the final most powerful thing is what Yoruko beats into Sora's head in chapter 5. You. It's a little bit cheesy but no one is better at knowing or defining yourself than you. Sure your past can affect you but you can understand it as a part of yourself and something you can live with rather than letting it overcome you. That yeah she does share the same body and past as Akane but she does not have to let that define who she is but she can decide that for herself.

And that's one of the things I like about the ending when you look past some of the more wack shit. It wasn't a good or a bad ending. It was just an ending, a mixed bag of tragedies and the good things we have left. Yeah the masterminds dead but so is everyone else who died. Sora is trapped in the program but hey! Try is working on getting out. Because life is just like that. The happen to you good or bad, they affect you but ultimately time passes and your story continues. I think it's why Sora told everyone to "live" as her parting words. Because yeah the situation sucks but they are now on the other end of the tunnel so the best thing they can do is to live on.

But yeah anyways those are my takeaway of a bunch of ideas I had bopping around in my head. If it's a little incoherent I'm sorry I kinda free wrote this while high. Hope this all makes somewhat sense and I'm not just talking out of my ass.

[nadziejastar]

Axel’s Moral Relativism

“No apology?” He with the red hair—Axel stood up, his mouth turned down at the corners, and looked down at Roxas who still sat in bed.

“I shouldn’t have to. The one showing up all of a sudden when others are waking up is in the wrong.”

“Is that how to treat a best friend on coming back from completing a long mission!”

“I don’t recall becoming your best friend.”

Roxas got off the bed, and, ignoring Axel, turned his back and put on a black coat.

This is a passage from the short story called “Roxas: Somewhere in Time”. It was included with KH2FM+ and details a little bit of how Roxas and Axel got along together in the organization. Xion wasn’t included for obvious reasons. I got the sense that Nomura took Roxas in a slightly different direction to make him more like Ventus in Days.

Roxas was a little more cynical and introspective in this short story compared to Days. But one thing remained the same. From the very beginning, Roxas was never meant to feel as strongly about being “best friends” as Axel did in KH2. He felt like Axel was being a bit pushy about that label and given their circumstances, I’d say he was completely justified in feeling that way.

Axel said ‘best friend’. But that’s only playing at being human; it’s a relationship that we, Nobodies without hearts, aren’t supposed to have. But, within the organization, I’ve become especially close to Axel—no, it’s a fact without mistake that we are closer than the other members, and I don’t really know how that relationship should be expressed.

And that was their relationship in a nutshell. They were especially close and had a very important relationship, but they still weren’t really best friends. I know I’ve talked about this before, but it ties into this subject. I’ve heard a lot of people say that they didn’t like 358/2 Days because of the constant “best friends” talk and because Axel seemed like a goody-two-shoes big brother, instead of the hardcore assassin he acted like in CoM. They couldn’t reconcile those two different portrayals.

Yes, “best friends” was mentioned over and over. Way more than with SRK or TAV. Compared to them, RAX didn’t even know each other for that long. It was supposed to feel forced. But, I don’t think that was a bad thing or that it lessened the importance of their bond. To the contrary, I actually thought their relationship was a lot MORE meaningful because they weren’t really Axel’s best friends. As an assassin, Axel had a very skewed sense of morality. And that’s what this post will be about.

“What are you trying to do? Are you thinking to use Naminé as a shield? That little girl doesn’t mean anything to me. I’ll just destroy her along with you. Get ready, Marluxia!” fired Axel, readying his chakrams.

Peculiar or not, she’s got nothing to do with me, or the Organization… I don’t think. It’s fine to destroy things that are in the way.

I definitely think Axel was always willing to do the dirty work for Saïx because he thought of Isa as his best friend. He never really cared about the morality of what he was doing. All that mattered was that he was doing it for the sake of his best friend. 

Day 74: Xion's Face

Author: Axel

Honestly, I never got why Roxas was so crazy about Xion. I know they both joined up around the same time, and they're both rookies, but how do you get so close to somebody who hides their face all the time? Well, I saw it today. All of a sudden, No. XIV up and takes off...her hood. Xion is a girl, and she looks just like Naminé.

Roxas and Xion became his “best friends” because that changed when he met them. Especially after Castle Oblivion. Roxas was Sora’s Nobody and Xion looked just like Naminé. It made him question everything about the way he had been living.

“Your best friend?” Roxas shook his head furiously and grabbed Axel’s cloak. “Best friends are supposed to be honest with each other!”

He’s angry, Axel thought clearly. It really does make it seem like he has a heart. But if that’s all I can think of when he’s this upset, I really must not have one.

It’s important to emphasize that although Axel’s relationship with Roxas was pretty one-sided in KH2, it was kind of the opposite in Days. Roxas liked the idea of being best friends with him and Xion. Their relationship didn’t fall apart because Roxas was indifferent to their friendship. Axel did a lot of things to alienate Roxas after telling him they were best friends. Roxas felt betrayed. Axel did what he thought was the best thing for everyone’s sake. But Roxas was unable to understand that because Axel had a much less idealistic outlook on life than he did.

Still gripping Axel’s collar, Roxas shook his head with the emphatic refusal of a little kid. “No, you didn’t…” But he sounded uncertain as he said it, and his voice shrank even more. “We’re supposed to be best friends.”

Axel brushed Roxas’s hands from his collar. “This isn’t about friendship.”

Roxas raised his head. The glare in his blue eyes was sharp as a knife. Axel had never seen that from him before. His chest twinged, just a bit. He let out another sigh. “Listen, if that’s all, I gotta go.”

Roxas wilted again, and something in his expression weakened Axel’s resolve slightly.

I did it with the best of intentions, that’s all. For Roxas’ sake, for Xion’s sake, for the Organization’s sake---and for Isa’s sake. But more than anything, for my own sake.

He turned away from Roxas and made himself walk away.

Axel’s innocence had already been shattered a long time ago. He was used to dealing with the darker side of life. Due to his traumatic past, he had an amazing ability to emotionally detach himself from any given situation. It was a form of self-preservation.

After he left Roxas, Axel’s distracted wandering through the hallways came to a stop when he saw someone else.

He was probably waiting for me. Standing there against the wall with his arms folded was once my best friend—Saïx didn’t take his eyes off the ground to look at Axel.

“…You’re sure this is for the best?”

“Everything is back to normal. Of course this is for the best, isn’t it?”

The reason I’m unable to answer Saïx is probably because I depend on him, thought Axel.

“Xemnas has also been irritated at the recent changes in plan. Everything has to go back to normal, for the sake of our goal too… Lea.”

But from Roxas’s point of view, Axel seemed cold and heartless. He always said that Nobodies had no hearts and that they couldn’t feel things like fear or love. Naturally, Roxas thought he didn’t value their friendship as much as he did. And Axel did hide all of his true feelings, so I can’t blame Roxas for feeling that way. 

But while Axel pushed Roxas further away, he really wanted to do what was best for him. He wanted to spare Roxas the pain that he went through. And at the same time, he was dealing with his inner conflict over his relationship with Saïx. He had a hard time coping with the huge rift between how he remembered their past compared to what he saw in the present. He had nobody to confide in about this.

“Come on, don’t look shocked,” Axel went on. “You already know you’re a replica. A puppet whose original purpose was to duplicate Roxas’s powers. If he’s getting weaker, and you’re getting stronger, maybe you’re taking a little more than you oughta be.”

He didn’t gloss over anything. Confronted with the plain truth, she looked away.

Right. I’m a puppet. Organization XIII built me. A doll to copy Roxas’s powers. But still…that’s not all I am. Axel doesn’t know the whole story. And maybe I don’t, either. What other secrets are hidden inside me?

“…What should I do, then?” she mumbled at the floor. She didn’t have the answer.

“I can’t make that decision. You’re no puppet in my book.” Axel took hold of her shoulders, and she turned up to him again. There was sincerity in his eyes and kindness. “You’re my best friend. Mine and Roxas’s. Got it memorized?”

Axel told Xion they were best friends, but at that point, he still thought it was better for her to not exist. He said they were best friends for her sake. And perhaps to assuage some of the guilt he felt over what he was planning to do, which she was oblivious to. Axel had no real advice for her. He didn’t expect her to exist for much longer and left it up to her to decide what to do. He felt bad about it, but he truly thought it was for the best that she disappear.

“Are you talking about destroying her?” Axel made no reply.

“Answer me!” he screamed, kicking the wall.

Axel still spoke quietly. “If somebody doesn’t, then you…won’t be you anymore.”

“I’ll always be me! Your best friend—just like Xion!”

But Axel shook his head. “Roxas—you’re missing the bigger picture.”

“Ugh, forget this.” Roxas kicked the wall again for good measure and started walking away. There was no point talking to Axel anymore. The Winner stick was still in his pocket. So much for giving it to Axel.

“Roxas!�� He didn’t look back. He didn’t want to hear what anyone had to say anymore.

He kept all of this from Roxas. He knew he would never accept that his best friend needed to be destroyed for his own good. So he took the burden on himself to do it, knowingly destroying their friendship in the process.

Roxas no longer knew what to say to either of them. Why had Axel attacked Xion like that? He’d been for real. Serious enough that he almost seemed about to take her down for good. The thought made Roxas nervous. Axel wasn’t saying anything to him, either.

At first Axel took a rather pragmatic approach to the situation with Xion. He wasn’t happy about it and it wasn’t an easy decision or anything. But he did attack her and bring her back, with the intention of her being destroyed. Even when he fought her, he was ready to take her out permanently if it came to that. He didn’t like it, but he was able to set aside his feelings and do what he thought he had to do. He only changed his mind at the very end.

I don’t have a single friend in this place. All these people on my side—and his and the organization’s… But I don’t know if I can say that we’re really on the same side. I’m alone here.

Nostalgia… And memory. We are the ones who lost their hearts—the ones who are no one. Nobodies. Not light nor darkness—we live in the twilight.

Axel stopped outside the crystal ball room and took a deep breath.

Why are we here? What are we doing? No—why am I here?

Axel’s actions definitely demonstrated that he viewed Isa as his best friend above anyone else. He questioned why he was still in the organization after he killed Vexen.

It’s just like that back is rejecting me. And I’m realizing that my memories of the past are too different from the thoughts I’m having now.

Why the hell am I here? I don’t really know any more. What the hell do I want to do?

And he questioned it when Saïx said the organization didn’t need both Roxas and Xion. Saïx did not act like Axel’s friend, let alone his best friend. He was totally cold and often very cruel to to him. Axel felt rejected and alone when talking to Saïx. But he chose to stay in the organization. If he really wanted to, he could have left. But he never did.  

“The time has come for us to move, it seems—”

Axel frowned at Xemnas’ words.

What if—I’d stopped Roxas properly, that time? If I’d told Roxas the entire secret, would it have turned out like this? But, I couldn’t betray the organization.

No—to be honest, I’ve already betrayed the organization. In that castle, I was the one who let Riku and Naminé meet, which made a big mess for the organization.

But, I didn’t complete the betrayal. I’m still uncertain. From the time I met my best friend Roxas, from the time spent in Castle Oblivion, I’ve continued to struggle with doubts.

Why am I here? What do I want? How can I become whole again?

Even now, he wasn’t sure.

After Xion disappeared, Roxas was the only one who helped Axel feel less lonely in the organization. But when Roxas left, he was still conflicted. It’s not that he was afraid to go against the organization. He just didn’t know what he truly wanted to do in order to be whole.

Today I have to destroy Roxas. I cannot betray the organization.

From the little shelf at his bedside, Axel took a white envelope, and looked at it vaguely for a while. Putting it in his pocket, Axel got up off the bed and left the room.

Maybe, this is the last time I’ll see Saïx, too. Thinking, Axel looked at the seated Saïx’s back.

“We’ve known each other for a pretty long time, haven’t we?” Ignoring Axel’s words, Saïx continued typing on the keyboard.

“Say something. Have you even thought that maybe I can’t erase Roxas?” Axel said, in a playful tone, and Saïx finally looked up. “It’ll be all right. ‘Cause I’m tough.”

“Saying stupid things,” said Saïx, smiling for just a second at Axel, puffing out his chest.

In the end, he decided he had to destroy Roxas. He joked about destroying Roxas. That’s how desperately he wanted to emotionally connect with Saïx, like when they were kids. I definitely could never see him joking about destroying Saïx to Roxas. 

“I’m goooing.” Waving to Saïx, Axel disappeared.

The instant he transferred over, he closed his eyes for a moment at the dazzling sunset streaming through. Then he turned around dramatically, and confirmed it was Roxas.

“Look at what it’s come to,” Axel said. “I’ve been given some pretty nasty orders…to destroy you if you refuse to come back with me.”

I don’t think Axel truly thought it was funny, but I do think that he has been through so much trauma that he felt emotionally disconnected from everything, and developed a dark sense of humor. Immediately after that exchange, he appeared in front of Roxas and told him he was given the icky orders to destroy him.

Can I destroy Roxas? Probably not. But I know what I can’t do. Xemnas and Saïx probably knew that as well. Maybe we can disappear together from here and go somewhere.

And Axel genuinely wasn’t sure if he would be able to do it or not. He didn’t want to do it, and ultimately wasn’t able to, but he still came pretty close. He only changed his mind at the last minute, like with Xion. He was playing around with the idea that they could disappear together, but he only brought it up jokingly. After that, he tried to go back to the organization.

“No one would miss me,” I retorted, and started to walk away.

“That’s not true…,” Axel mumbled. “I would.” At the time, I pretended not to hear him. We Nobodies have no hearts. How would we be able to “miss” someone? But now, I understand how he felt.

Roxas flung Axel back with the Keyblades so that he fell to his knees. Roxas couldn’t bring himself to deal the final blow. 

“Axel…”

That’s right—we were the only pair of best friends in the organization.

I got the sense that Axel was so convinced he didn’t have a heart because of all the things he had done as a Nobody. He was truly disgusted with himself after fighting Roxas. He said that Roxas had a next life because he was a sweet, innocent kid. He looked surprised that Roxas responded seriously to his suggestion to meet again in the next life, especially after what he just did to him. Roxas still cared about him and had sympathy for him.

“Axel…” The hostility had vanished from Roxas’ eyes.

I can’t find the spirit to fight this Roxas anymore. Here–there’s nothing to do but to fade away.

“Let’s meet again in the next life.” At those words spoken with just a hint of a smile, Roxas nodded quietly.

“Yeah. I’ll be waiting.” There was something funny about Roxas’s serious answer, and Axel laughed.

“Silly… you’d have a next life, but…” Axel said to Roxas–and his figure disappeared in the darkness of a portal he’d opened behind him.

Axel was aware that he just tried to murder that pure-hearted kid who once called him his best friend. Of course Axel thought he had no heart or a next life. He didn’t stop fighting Roxas because they were best friends. He stopped because he realized that he wasn’t Lea anymore. He no longer recognized himself and he was deeply ashamed.

“What were you trying to do?” Sora asked. For a moment, Axel didn’t reply. He kept staring into space as he did. 

“…I wanted to see Roxas. He…was the only one I liked. When I was with him…he made me feel…like I had a heart…” Axel closed his eyes.

Somehow, he had the feeling that Roxas was close. Terribly close. Right beside him.

“I feel it…with you, too…” Then Axel weakly shook his head and returned his attention to Sora. “Kairi’s in the castle dungeon. Now go.”

Roxas and Sora made Axel feel like he had a heart, not because they were his best friends, or because he was in love with them. It was because he tried to harm them and they still showed him forgiveness and compassion. 

“We don’t disappear… We’re only reborn,” Naminé murmured, perhaps to herself.

“I’m not like you and Roxas,” Axel said flatly. His hand holding the ice pop stick paused in midair.

“But—but you…” She looked down, clenching her fists.

“It’s because I don’t have a heart,” Axel went on. “I don’t want to disappear, but I’m not upset or sad about it.”

I think that played a huge role in why Axel put Roxas on such a pedestal in KH2. Roxas was the epitome of humanity to him. He wasn’t used to being around people who showed him empathy and friendship. Roxas genuinely cared about him in 358/2 Days. He was devastated when he thought Axel was terminated and would never see him again. And Axel repaid that kindness by trying to destroy him. Roxas treated Axel like a human worthy of friendship. He made him feel human, even when he felt like he didn’t deserve it.

“I think we all know, and you just don’t want to accept it,” Saïx remarked, his voice dripping with disdain.

“He might be forcing her…,” Roxas mumbled.

Saïx only snorted at him. “Hah! Your human-like way of thinking is so nauseating.”

But that was the only thing Roxas could think of. Xion wouldn’t betray the Organization…or her friends. Would she? He stared at the floor, his fists clenched at his sides. Were Nobodies and humans really all that different?

“You have to trust your partners,” said Roxas, flaring up. Then he raised his head to glare at Saïx. “Why is it such a crime to give each other the benefit of the doubt?!”

“Just stop, Roxas.” Axel restrained his arm. “Just, calm down a little.”

Unlike with Roxas and Xion, I don’t think Lea ever considered destroying Isa an option. If Isa ever had to be destroyed, Lea promised him that they’d go together. That’s how attached he was to Isa. They were best friends and inseparable. He put Isa ahead of everyone.

“Huh…you’ve got a point. So, okay, say you don’t need a heart for things to be important to you… Maybe the closest thing we Nobodies have is our pasts. It’s the memories that give things value.”

“Memories…,” Roxas mumbled at his lap. “Well, I don’t remember my past, so I guess that explains it.”

Axel pondered that for a few seconds before suggesting, “What about your present, though?” Roxas looked up. Somehow, he hadn’t expected to hear that from Axel.

“Wait, you’re right. I don’t want to forget about you or Xion.”

“See?” said Axel. “Everyone’s got things they wanna hang on to. Even us Nobodies.”

When asked what he couldn’t bear to lose, he didn’t say it was his friendship with Roxas or Xion. He knew Roxas valued the present more than anything, but Axel still would have chosen the past.

Axel didn’t waste a second grabbing his chakrams. But his body was reluctant somehow. 

I don’t want to disappear… But still, it wouldn’t be so bad if I did. Not here. 

Even when Saïx wanted him dead, Axel felt like he’d rather disappear than fight him. Saïx was stronger than him, and Axel never thought he could beat him. He was never going to destroy him or anything. But even fighting him in self-defense was enough to make Axel feel like disappearing—the one thing he dreaded more than anything. 

This is a pretty overwhelming disadvantage, Axel thought. Well, I knew that before we started fighting. I can’t win against Saïx with my own strength.

Still, he refused to hesitate. He had to force this path open. He wanted…to find hope—the hope that Sora and Riku had.

Saïx gave him a cruel grin. “You will lose everything!” And then the Claymore pierced Axel’s chest.

I don’t want to disappear. I can’t disappear now. I shouldn’t have to disappear at all. Why am I doing all this? Who is it for? For Roxas… For Riku, for Naminé… And for myself. There are still things I should do. Things I have to do.

Axel was only willing to fight Saïx for Kairi’s sake. It wasn’t because they were best friends. He did it because it was the best thing for everyone. But he was envious of Riku and Sora because of the hope they had.

“Al said he wouldn’t rely on magic, right? I want to fix it for him, but you gotta respect your friend’s wishes.”

“Your friend’s… wishes…” 

So, even if you mean for something to be for your friend’s sake, their wishes are still more important?

Lea and Isa promised to meet again in the next life. But even then, Lea changed his mind. Even if Isa disappearing was the best thing for everyone, and that was the decision he made himself, Lea didn’t care.

“That Genie person seemed very worried about that Al person. And then he said that you have to respect your friend’s wishes.” Xion bit her ice cream, swinging her feet.

Axel leaned his head to one side. “Your friend’s wishes, huh…” 

It feels like I have heard that before, a long time ago, when I was human.

He was going to bring him back, whether he liked it or not---whether it was the right thing to do or not. He’d bring him back, even if he had to drag him. And I think that is how Lea developed such a skewed sense of morality, and why he was willing to do anything for Saïx, even the icky jobs. Lea refused to respect Isa’s wishes if it meant he had to sacrifice himself.

This is the way it has to go, Axel told himself, lying on his bed. This is the right course.

But he was swamped with misgivings, unable to accept his own decisions. How could he choose between Roxas and Xion? And yet, that was exactly what he’d been forced to do. Then Xion had walked away of her own accord.

Then again, this did little to alter the big picture. All it meant was that Xion would no longer be draining strength from Roxas. The plan would only suffer a slight delay in progress—nothing more. Although even that slight delay would let Roxas remain himself for a little longer.

Axel didn’t know what would happen. But he was glad, at least, for a little more time to think.

What will I have to do? What should I do?

His thoughts kept him awake for some time.

When Axel told Roxas that Xion needed to disappear for the greater good, he must have felt like a huge hypocrite. When Xion left on her own and Axel turned a blind eye, he must have felt like a huge hypocrite.

I promised Xion. I have to keep my word, don’t I? What Xion really wants—and what Roxas wants, too—is for the three of us to stay together. But there’s nothing I can do now to make that happen. So if I can at least keep my promise to her…that’s what I’ll do.

Axel didn’t let any of it show as he waited for Roxas to continue.

“You’re not really gonna do what Xemnas says…are you?” Roxas asked, still staring at the floor.

A tiny sigh escaped Axel. “I have to. Or else I won’t be safe, either.”

That was the harsh truth. And if he was gone, too, who would keep Roxas safe?

When Axel set out to destroy Xion after calling her his best friend, he must have felt like a huge hypocrite. When Axel thought he had to respect Xion’s wish to disappear, he must have felt like a huge hypocrite.

Kairi looked up at him then. “Aren’t you…a bad guy?”

“I’m not,” Axel replied, completely serious. “But not really a good guy, either.”

“This doggy likes you, though,” she pointed out.

Axel dropped his gaze, and indeed, Pluto was right there with his tail whipping back and forth.

“Just because dogs like someone doesn’t mean they’re a good person, y’know. Got it memorized?”

I got the sense that Lea was always willing to get his hands dirty for Isa’s sake, because he remembered him to be so selfless. I think Lea would have done anything for him. He would have eliminated anyone to save him. Roxas, Xion, Sora. Anyone. 

Axel, what do you want to do?”

“Avoid being eliminated ideally.”

“So you’re offering me up to the organization?”

“…Well, you see any other options?” His expression was frozen in a forced smile.

He had no ideas. He didn’t know what to do. And he had no heart and thus no emotions to guide him, either.

I think Saïx was telling the truth when he said Axel changed. Their roles were reversed from the past. Axel was an assassin who was morally ambiguous. He said he didn’t believe anyone could say what was right or wrong, and he also didn’t consider himself a good person or a bad person.

“But this is for everyone’s sake.”

Everyone…? Who do you mean by everyone? Us? Or others?

“Don’t say selfish crap like that. Every last one of…”

“This is for the best,” Xion said.

I hate that sort of thing. There’s no such thing as ‘this is for the best’. There’s, I want to, and I don’t want to, that’s all. I learned that in my human time.

He was willing to do bad things to achieve his goals. He was desensitized to it. It’s what he had to do to survive in the organization. As long as he got what he wanted, nothing else mattered. But when he realized how much Isa had changed, Axel’s resolve to get his hands dirty wavered.

“The best thing…?” Naminé set her crayons down on the table, her gaze dropping as she thought for a moment, and then she smiled at him again.

“It’s the right thing.”

In response, Axel only leaned back and rocked in the chair again. She took up her crayons.

No one could know what was right or wrong.

Roxas and Kairi were what finally tipped him over the edge. He could no longer do what he knew was wrong. This is why I think Axel’s friendship with Roxas and Xion was so important to his development. It was so important exactly because they weren’t really his best friends. They offered something to Axel that he couldn’t have gotten from his real best friend.

“The dirty work doesn’t bother me,” Axel went on. “You just make for the top.”

There was nothing false in that, and he looked Saïx in the eye as he said it. Saïx stared hard back at him.

Right. We have our own agenda.

It’s interesting that Axel was so concerned with doing what was best for everyone in Days, considering he actually hated that type of thinking as a human. I got the sense that Isa acted as Lea’s moral compass during the experiments. There’s a reason Isa got possessed and Lea became an assassin, after all. And it wasn’t because Lea was a goody-two-shoes. He was a good person deep down. But he didn’t care what was best for everyone if it meant Isa had to die.

To suit the Organization, to suit Xion, to suit Roxas—to suit the world. I don’t give a crap about any of that any more. I use the Organization for myself. That hasn’t changed from the start. All that’s changed is for whose sake I do it for. Maybe he’d call it being a traitor. But, the world changes.

His best friend was more important to him than the world. But...Lea cared so much about him because he was the type of person who put others ahead of himself. It’s why Axel was willing to do all the dirty work for him. 

Ansem quietly shook his head. “Naminé, Roxas, and Xemnas… The Nobodies of those with strong hearts are peculiar beings. My—that is, our theories proved fruitless. Coming into contact with a strong heart transforms a world. And not just worlds, but people themselves—and even Nobodies.”

Naminé, head lowered and hand extended with the ice cream for Riku, perked up upon hearing those words.

That’s it… Yes. The mystery of the heart. When we encounter someone special…the world changes. Our hearts change. Everything changes.

Axel needed to have Saïx act like a horrible person in order for him to rediscover his sense of morality. His loyalty to Saïx was holding him back. He grew tremendously as a character by refusing to do the wrong thing, even for his best friend. He stood on his own two feet, did the right thing, and earned his redemption. Ironically, his betrayal of Saïx was due to his loyalty to his memories of Isa. And betraying Saïx was the only way to eventually get Isa back. 

[sea-bea]

Since I’ve seen absolutely no one talk about this, hear me out: Luxord isn’t the Player, he’s Brain and I’ve got the proof right here

The entire thing is under the cut bc it got so long

Brain and Luxord are very similar:

They can be abrasive at times (Luxord attempting to abuse parlay rules to annoy Sora and Jack, and Brain coldly remarking that Ven should grow a spine), but at the end of the day they both mean well (Luxord is friendly to both Roxas and Xion, and then Sora at the end of KH3, while Brain attempts to stop the keyblade war 2.0 from occurring). 

Luxord and Brain appear to have a ‘calm, smart, sophisticated’ air around them: Luxord has an extensive vocabulary and references games that require strategy; Brain is the one who made the spirits (requiring science magic things), somehow understands the weird data/real world logic, found out how to travel to another worldline, and as Skuld says, “he’s named Brain for a reason”. 

Luxord and Brain like bending the rules: again, Luxord abuses parlay rules to get what he wants, and Brain asks if the rules are set in stone when the dandelion leaders first meet up.

Both Luxord and Brain are the only people to have successfully confused Xigbar/Luxu simply by existing, and catching that guy off guard in general is hard enough. In the secret reports, Luxu expresses confusion when he discovers the virus and their goals and notes that this “was supposed to be done by the books”. He reacts similarly to Luxord during the DLC cutscene, where he watches Luxord teleport himself away, narrows his eyes, tosses the card away, and asks, “The question is, who are you, Luxord?” Again, Luxu expresses genuine confusion for the second time in the entire series, this time because of Luxord. 

The reason why Luxord’s powers revolve around time might be because of Brain’s own time-related abilities. Not only did Brain manage to transport Ven, Lauriam, Subject X, and Elrena to the future at around the same time, he also managed to transport himself and other keybladers to the new worldline to continue the keyblade legacy.

This isn’t a similarity, but have you seen Brain’s outfit? It just screams ‘edgy shady gambler’. He’s even got a hat with a feather in it. C’mon now

Connecting Brain from KHUX to Luxord in KH3:

There are a few things we know happened to Brain after KHUX: for example, from Luxu’s Excerpt 2 we know that all five dandelion leaders traveled from Daybreak Town to that other worldline at the same time. We also know that at least one dandelion leader was given Luxu’s keyblade, successfully made it to the other worldline, and passed that keyblade down until it reached Xehanort.

Obviously, neither Ven, Lauriam, or Subject X/Skuld had the keyblade because they’re in the present kh universe, leaving only Ephemer and Brain as candidates. And since it’s implied Ephemer died at the age he’s in during Union Cross, Brain should be the only one who could have inherited Luxu’s keyblade, meaning he should have been the leader that successfully traveled to the worldline, grew up, continue the keyblade legacy, and passed the keyblade down to whatever apprentice he trained.

Even if Brain did travel correctly, how is he in the future now? Simple: After he passed Luxu’s keyblade down, Brain does what Luxu did and releases his heart, moving it from vessel to vessel. He’d be a skilled keyblade master by that point, so he could have learned how to release and move his heart around. He knows that the Second Keyblade War might still happen, so it would make sense why he’d want to continue to live, to see if it’ll actually happen or not. This also explains why Luxord looks nothing like Brain, that’s just another vessel of his.

If you want to stretch it, Eraqus is proof that Brain successfully transported himself to that other worldline and passed down Luxu’s keyblade: Eraqus was said to be a descendent of a Dandelion, and there aren’t that many characters with black hair and black/grey eyes and similar hairstyles. 

Also if Brain killed Strelizia then both Brain and Eraqus are 100% willing to murder a child to prevent a war :/

There are similarities between Eraqus and Luxord as well: they both like playing strategy games, they both like bending the rules of said strategy games, and they both say “The game isn’t over until it’s over” word for word (it’s implied eraqus says this in the keystagram post where we see him playing chess). If that doesn’t hint at a connection I don’t know what does

Edit: Also, Eraqus in KH3 says “But a game’s no fun if you know where it’s going”. In KH2, Luxord says, “The fun is in not knowing, isn’t it? What is the point of betting on something when you already know the outcome?”. Again, this implies a connection between the two, which would make sense if Luxord is Brain and Brain is Eraqus’ ancestor

This also could explain why Luxord appears to know more than the other dandelions if Luxord is Brain: if Brain was the only one of the dandelion leaders to have successfully traveled across worldlines, then it would make sense that he’s also the only one knows what’s really going on behind the scenes.

Luxord’s Wild Card: 

After you defeat Luxord, he throws Sora a “wild card” that he states “could turn the tables”. Now this part has always kinda confused me, why would he give something like this to Sora, and why doesn’t it ever pop up after this scene. And Luxord says it “could turn the tables”, yet it’s useless in the Keyblade War 2.0. So what could the card “turn the tables” of, and what is the use of the card in the first place?

According to Nomura, when asked what the wild card means, he remarks it might be “the key to Sora’s revival”. We know it doesn’t bring people back to life, if it did, it would have been used like a Kupo Coin and the card never pops up again after that scene. This implies that the card’s purpose is only for Sora’s revival after the events of KH3. 

But how could Luxord know what happens to Sora after KH3 and give him the card that will save him from that fate right before he dies? If Luxord is Brain, he probably has a Book of Prophecies, probably the same one that told him about the second keyblade war, which likely has Sora’s fate written inside (the kid is like, one of the most important people behind the keyblade war it has to mention him somewhere). 

This is also another instance of Brain/Luxord being a virus: by giving Sora the card that will save him, Brain/Luxord once again attempts to defy fate, this time defying Sora’s personal fate.

Finally, and if nothing else will convince you, consider this: Luxord’s Nobody title is the “Gambler of Fate”. The definition of gamble is to “take risky action in the hope of a desired result”. 

In Observations Excerpt 1, Luxu remarks that the virus (strongly implied to be Brain) is making a reckless, or risky, plot to escape to another worldline. In Union Cross, Brain states that he wants to prevent the second keyblade war from happening, and perhaps the reason he’s trying to move to another worldline is to prevent that second war. He’s gambling on using that risky trick to escape to another worldline in the hopes of defying fate, making Brain a gambler of fate. 

The Gambler of Fate.

Edit: I was thinking about the theory that Luxord’s real name is Ludor, the first person singular present passive version of ‘Ludo’ which means game, making Ludor a “gamer”, which is why several people thought Luxord’s character really was the player character. After all, the Player’s involvement in the story could put him in a situation where he travels to the other worldline like Elrena (not a dandelion leader) did, which would explain why he’s running around here. But I didn’t believe that Luxord could be the player because he knows too much, while the player character knows so little about the main plot.

Well, maybe the theory is still correct, in some way. I believe that Luxord/Ludor is our avatar, the player character that we move around in KHUX, no question about it. But the actual player, us? The heart of our avatar? We aren’t the ones piloting it around, we haven’t been for a long time. It’s Brain. Our avatar is Brain’s vessel.

[whereissora]

Sora’s Emotional Journey

This will be the second in a series of post’s analyzing Sora’s emotions throughout the kingdom hearts series.

The previous post can be found here:

https://whereissora.tumblr.com/post/182772262926/when-people-say-sora-never-showed-emotion-before

 Back when the final battle trailer was first revealed, I read many comments on youtube saying things like how people were happy to hear his scream because it meant he was “finally showing more emotions than just happiness.” 

 Now Sora is an optimist, but something I know about optimism from personal experience? It’s usually a front/attitude people choose to live by to overcome thoughts/feelings that would otherwise be too much for them. It’s a coping mechanism and a state of heart/mind. Of course, no one can be happy all the time. This is what the term “cinnamon roll” refers to: a kind person who has suffered more than they deserve.

 Not that all optimists are necessarily cinnamon rolls, but we can’t deny Sora is definitely BOTH.

 When Sora arrives at Castle Oblivion he is warned by Marluxia that its a place where things are forgotten to make room for older memories to be remembered.

 Sora could just turn around and leave, but Marluxia baits him with another lie: Riku and the King are also in Castle Oblivion. So Sora takes the bait and in doing so falls into an awful trap.

Eventually, Sora picks up on the fact that he, Donald, and Goofy are losing their memories and it causes him to hesitate.  If he forgets that he’s looking for Riku, and that he made a promise to Kairi, how will he ever find them again?

Sora is definitely the keep-forging-ahead sort. When he first got the keyblade, all he could say was “I didn’t ask for this.” But when he learned he may be able to find his friends by traveling to different worlds, he accepted his role and was able to move forward.

 Now the very existence of that role is threatened, and it worries him. He can’t help but doubt himself, and his mission here in Castle Oblivion. Maybe it would be a good idea to turn back--

But Goofy reminds Sora that, even as a heartless, Sora was able to hold on to the most important memories. So together, they decide to keep going.

What Marluxia said has some truth to it--as Sora starts to forget his adventures, his past comes to the surface. He tells Donald and Goofy that when he was very little, there was another kid, aside from Riku and Kairi, that he was always with. However, she disappeared one day, and Sora, who was only four at the time and unable to comprehend the situation, could only cry.

Can I just say this little story ripped my heart out, first time I heard it? This sounds like a seriously traumatic childhood memory, and I thought Sora had repressed it unknowingly because that’s what happens when a small, helpless child is forced to go through something they mentally can’t handle: they block it out.

Sora has said “my friends are my power!” (”connecting hearts is my power” according to @phoenix-downer’s analyses) and yet he still forgot an important, childhood friend. You can see on his face when he admits he “can’t remember her name” that the guilt is KILLING him, but Goofy reassures him that it’s sure to come back to him, like the other memories. 

As he struggles to recall the past, Larxene appears. She mocks him for forgetting and attacks him, knocking something from his pocket. 

And when Sora sees his friend’s good luck charm, he is finally able to recall her name:

Namine.

 Namine is the name of the friend Sora lost all those years ago. Namine went missing for reasons he didn’t understand, and in doing so, slipped through his arms and from his mind. Namine is being held captive by Larxene and Marluxia, and he must rescue her. And even though he’s happy to remember her name, Sora is frustrated that it was Larxene who made him remember. 

 He is soon reunited with Riku, who also remembers Namine. They clash a few times, each time ending in Riku disappearing somewhere within the castle walls. Sora does know that he must somehow save Riku and bring him home, even if he has forgotten Kairi and the promise he made to her.

Sora and Riku have been together since childhood--like brothers. They played, laughed, and ran together. Even though they’re so different, they’ve bonded, and Sora’s not willing to throw that away even if Riku is. Sora defeats Riku AGAIN (without hurting him too badly, too, which is impressive) and although Riku refuses to listen and runs off, Sora swears that Riku cannot “push him away.” It isn’t just to save Namine, and it was never just to fulfill his promise to Kairi. Sora wants to save Riku for his own sake, too. Even so, it must take tremendous determination and strength of heart to endure this--fighting Riku again and again.

 Later, Vexen appears and forces Sora to take a good, hard look at what’s really going on in Castle Oblivion. How real ARE his memories of Namine? Vexen tells Sora that it is his heart that remembers Twilight Town, and he’s right--Sora feels as if he has been to Twilight Town before, even though he KNOWS that isn’t true. This disturbs Sora so much that for a moment he almost believes Vexen, just as Vexen is about to tell him the truth. Unfortunately, Axel appears and puts an end to Vexen, shocking Sora to the point he actually appears grieved. 

His eyes widen in shock, his mouth opens and closes multiple times, he starts to shake his head a little--he’s in a state of denial. He knows the Organization is his enemy, but he can’t believe they would strike each other down like that. As someone who values his connections to others above anything else, he becomes so disgusted with Axel that he demands to know: 

He starts to say it but he has to speak up. He’s struggling to talk--he’s so shaken and repulsed that he can barely function. He’s truly, rightfully angry. On behalf of Vexen, of all people, because even if they were enemies, no one deserves that.

 Namine is still in danger, though, and Vexen, the one who claimed to be responsible for Riku’s strange behavior, is gone. When Riku reappears, Sora believes Riku is saved, But Riku still doesn’t want to work with Sora. Riku insists he only cares for Namine now, and he shares a little story: a memory he shared with Namine, when they were little children watching a meteor shower, where Riku vowed to protect her, and she gave him her lucky charm. Sora is confused because that’s his memory-- he promised to protect Namine, and in turn, she gave him her lucky charm. 

Donald and Goofy feel something’s amiss because it’s impossible for Riku and Sora to both have the same memory. Donald insists this is an important detail, and Goofy urges Sora to calm down and think things through, but this just angers Sora.

 He just saw someone die FOR NO REASON AT ALL  and all he wants is to save his friends and get out of here. He takes off, leaving Donald and Goofy behind, and refuses to listen when Jiminy tries to talk sense into him. 

With Axel’s help, Namine escapes and she and Sora are finally reunited. Sora is relieved to see her safe, alive, and right in front of him. But Namine has a terrible secret, and she urges Sora to remember the girl he truly cares for. Confused, Sora looks at Namine’s good luck charm, insisting he cares for her the most when--

Namine’s good luck charm transforms back into Kairi’s. When he looks at Namine’s silhouette in the distance, he sees her image replaced by Kairi’s.

 Still unable to remember, Sora runs to Namine to learn the truth. He’s devastated to admit it--but he now knows the girl he truly cares for, the one most important to him, whom he was always with, wasn’t Namine. He doesn’t understand how he forgot [Kairi] or why he can’t remember her name. Larxene appears and exposes Namine, right as she is about to tell Sora the truth: 

 Sora and Namine were never friends. Namine is “a manipulative witch” with power over memories. She’s able to rearrange them, even plant fake ones.  Everything Sora knows about her is a lie, and to make it worse, the Riku he met in Castle Oblivion was also a lie--it was just a replica, made to look and sound like Riku, whom Namine was forced to brainwash into thinking it was the real Riku. 

Sora’s in complete agony over this revelation. Everything he’s been fighting for has been a lie--Namine was just being used against him and Riku was never even there. His anguish quickly sparks, turning to hatred, and he warns Larxene “you’ll pay”--kudos to Haley, for this, because I CANNOT hear this line without getting chills. Sora is furious, but he’s also helpless, he can’t move well enough to stand up (or heal himself?) as shown in the scenes prior where he struggles and fails to get to his feet. I feel like he’s referring to Donald and Goofy here. He must feel terrible over not listening to them, and now its too late. 

 Thankfully, Donald and Goofy arrive in time to heal Sora and together, they put Larxene in her place. Namine tells them that she was forced to manipulate Sora’s memory by Marluxia, and Sora leaves with Donald and Goofy to defeat him. Once that’s done, Namine explains that in order for her to put Sora’s memory back to how it used to be, he needs to forget everything that’s happened in Castle Oblivion. 

This is not an easy decision for him to make. As I mentioned before, Sora values his connection to others above anything else. His friends are his power, and now Namine, even if he didn’t know her before, is definitely a friend. She told him --she called out to him because she was lonely, and she did what Marluxia said because she didn’t want to be locked away, alone in the castle forever. Sora doesn’t want to forget her, or leave her alone. But he knows that he must remember his past adventures and his real life.

 Sora chooses to forget Namine, and in so, chooses to risk their connection. However, they make a promise to meet again, face to face. 

 Sora has yet to remember any of this, and it was implied by Marluxia in Kingdom Hearts III that it’s impossible for him to remember:

More important still is Sora’s need to thank Namine. The precious note Jiminy made in his journal before their long sleep began was the first, and for a time, only clue Sora had that he had forgotten something--someone--very important. 

 Someone he insisted he thank face-to-face.

 Someone he has yet to be reunited with.

 And hopefully, we’ll see that soon. 

[nadziejastar]

Isa: What is it with you and picking up stray puppies?

Lea: I want everybody I meet to remember me. Inside people's memories, I can live forever.

Well, if I was to go by my own impression of them, this would be my headcanon. There is this recurring theme of dogs with Lea and Isa, right? My theory is that they were meant to be similar to Lady and the Tramp. Maybe Lady and Tramp were from Radiant Garden and they supposed to meet Lea and Isa. If Merlin can be from Radiant Garden, I don’t see why they couldn’t be.

Tramp: Not to change the subject, but... um... ever chased chickens? 

Lady: I should say not.

Tramp: Oh-ho, then you've never lived!

Lady: But we shouldn't.

Tramp: I know. That's what makes it fun. Aw, come on, kid. Start building some memories.

Tramp is a lot like Lea. He is very outgoing and wants to make memories. However, I don’t think Lea was originally the “stray puppy”. I think he had a very happy and stable home life, and was given a lot of freedom. He was a very independent kid. His parents were probably not very strict. He didn’t get punished very often. He viewed life as a fun adventure and did pretty much whatever he wanted. Lea thought breaking into the castle was not a very big deal. He wasn’t concerned that he was going to get into trouble. He was a very, very happy person and had amazing self-esteem. I think he must have lived a life that was free from serious difficulty. No abuse or neglect, that’s for sure.

“—Let’s go, Lea,” the blue-haired boy, Isa, said quietly. He stood up and brushed the dust from his pants.

“What is with those guys?”

“I don’t want any more trouble,” Isa urged.

Lea also climbed to his feet, albeit with some resignation.

“There’ll always be another chance,” Isa reminded him softly as they walked away. Lea followed after.

I think Isa was more like Lady. I don’t think he was rich compared to Lea or anything like that. I just think he was more sheltered and naive. His parents also might have been more strict. He wasn’t as quick to get into trouble and he scolded Lea a lot. He was not as outgoing or bold. I don’t think his home life was outrageously bad or anything. But I think Lea probably wanted to sneak into the castle primarily so Isa could have some exciting memories, since it seemed like he didn’t have any. Isa was less adamant about it. 

I wanted the three of us to be together. I wanted the three of us to laugh together in the Organisation. Pretending to be adults, they decided it can’t be like that. But I’ll put an end to it—I’ll have them stop.

I can see Isa not having a very close relationship with his parents. It might not have ever been touched on, but I wouldn’t be surprised if Isa came from a family where his parents were distant and he was emotionally neglected. Maybe there was a lot of pressure on him to “act like an adult”. The journal said Isa was mature beyond his years. This might have contributed to his difficulty opening up to others. I think Lea saw him as the “stray puppy” at first. He didn’t smile much, according to Lea in the novel. Axel’s character is about helping those who are in bad situations. Ven, Roxas, Xion. It probably started with Isa. Compared to Lea, he seemed less carefree. 

“She doesn’t need you anymore.” Saïx smiled, but the expression didn’t reach his eyes.

That was the world’s most obvious lie, Sora thought. He’d had about enough of these organization guys trying to tell him what was what. “Like I’m supposed to believe that?” Sora shot back.

“Well, that’s up to you. But you can believe this: Organization XIII has no more use for you.” Saïx lifted his hand to point at the strange moon hanging in the sky above the glass ceiling.

When Lady was captured and put in the pound, she didn’t really know what to do. She wasn’t street smart. She relied on Tramp to survive outside of her bubble. She was afraid that he abandoned her and was jealous that he was so popular. Isa also seemed to have a fear of abandonment, especially after the experiments. He was afraid that if Lea had to help him out too much, he’d get tired of him and leave him behind. I think that Lea actually liked being needed by him, but Isa could never trust that could be true. Maybe his parents had high expectations of him that he couldn’t meet, like Terra and Eraqus. 

“I have no use in doing that either, do I? If you think about it, it’s troublesome, right?”

Certainly, if you think about it like that, it does sound troublesome. But… rather than troublesome of it, it’s fun to eat ice cream the three of us, so… so, that’s why we go there. But, I wonder why it’s fun?

“Do you want me to tell you?”

Roxas looked at Axel, and waited for his answer.

“It’s because we are best friends.”

The point of Axel becoming best friends with Roxas and Xion was to teach them about life. It wasn’t simply to tell the audience that they were inseparable and we would then accept it at face value. It seemed like Axel’s concept of a best friend was tied up in convincing Roxas and Xion that it’s okay for friends to be “troublesome”. That was the main theme of their friendship. That’s why he only said this on Day 193. It wasn’t a happy spontaneous declaration of friendship. It was a reflection on his past.

“Because they copied my powers, the Keyblade’s power, and then they didn’t need me anymore—is that it?” Roxas spat.

He couldn’t bring himself to confirm it.

“I guess you felt the same way, huh, Axel?”

At those words, something wrenched in his chest, and he could hardly breathe. No, not me. I wasn’t thinking like that. I would never. 

“That’s not true. You—you’re my best friend.” The words spilled out of him.

Axel wanted to emphasize that to them more than anything else. He only used the words “best friend” when Roxas or Xion were worried about the organization considering them worthless. 

Axel: Man... Why you always gotta...cause me...trouble...

And when he brought Xion back, he said she caused him so much trouble. 

“This is right,” Xion said firmly. “It’s better this way.”

Axel hated that argument. Nothing was better any which way. All it came down to was what you wanted to do and what you didn’t. He’d learned that lesson back when he had a heart.

“So it’s better for you to disappear?” he protested.

And I definitely think that had to do with Isa. 

If Saïx sees something he can use, he will—and without a second thought.

Saïx’s character was all about finding something he can use. He only views people in terms of their usefulness. I think that this personality trait was going to be explained by having Isa constantly be considered “useless” like Xion was. This insecurity was exploited by the apprentices, but I wouldn’t be surprised if his home life played a role in why he was so susceptible to feeling useless. After all, Terra’s background provided the fertile seedbed for his darkness. Terra’s relationship with Eraqus made him so vulnerable to Xehanort’s manipulation. Xehanort was grooming Terra for his body. He always reminded me of a real life sexual predator. And they usually go after kids who have difficult home lives.

Axel's always helping me out, so I just assumed he would again. How long has he known about me? Maybe since long before we met in Castle Oblivion. But he told me to think for myself. I was so happy. But now, as I get stronger, Roxas keeps getting weaker. I shouldn't exist anymore. They say that Nobodies were never meant to exist, but I'm the real affront. But before I'm gone, I want to help Roxas and Axel. Even just a little. 

I think that all this played a big role in Axel’s extreme loyalty to Saïx. Isa was like Xion. Saïx verbally abused Xion, so she was extremely distressed when she was reliant on Roxas or Axel for help. It’s why she originally started avoiding Roxas. It also contributed to her decision to disappear. She saw herself as an affront. When she asked Axel for help, he was cold at first. But then he told her she was his best friend and to think for herself. So, she thought it was best to disappear, to repay them for all their help.

Sora: He sure is acting weird.

Mrs. Potts: It’s almost as if he’s forgotten how to trust others.

Cogsworth: You don’t suppose he’s been turned into a Heartless, do you?

If Isa was Norted, there were probably times he lost control of himself, like the Beast did. I don’t think his berserk state started as a Nobody. Isa had gold eyes and pointy ears, so he probably thought of himself the same way Xion did. He didn’t deserve to exist. It sounds like Lea had to assure Isa that no matter how may times he needed help, he’d always be there for him. I think Axel was so willing to forgive Saïx because Isa had such a fear of being abandoned by Lea. I think that was supposed to be the big takeaway from their awful relationship as Nobodies. 

“In the way of what. Of who,” he asked.

“In the way of us. I trust you.”

Axel cracked a dry smile. “You say that exactly like you would if you had a heart.”

“My memories of the time I did have one are making it so, that’s all. If you get in the way any further, though, the memories I have since becoming a Nobody will overwrite them.”

Why would they make Axel go through so much suffering at the hands of his best friend unless something positive was going to come from it? It seems like Isa had very bad trust issues. But Lea stood by him, even when he thought Isa wanted him dead. So, nothing could ever drive him away. Eraqus fueled Terra’s darkness by making him feel like he wasn’t loved unconditionally. Aqua and Ven saved him from that darkness. I think that was supposed to be the message of Lea and Isa’s friendship, too.