#definitelywasdrunkwheniwrotethis

[bohemiandoll84]

DWC: “I can’t believe I’m sitting in space jail with you of all people.”

“I can’t believe I ended up in space jail with you of all people,” Rick rasps in annoyance with a roll of his eyes, spindly arms folded across his chest as he huffs.

You want to tell him to stop being so dramatic. The situation at hand is not nearly as dire as he’s decided to punish you for. Then again, you did just destroy a planet. You. Specifically.

It all started with an election on a random planet in the FG sector of one of the many universes Rick and you have traversed on adventures you’ve always viewed as random but apparently that have some sort of purpose. On this planet the Grussians were gearing up to help elect a president to a coalition of states in the West. You didn’t really see the point of getting involved, but Rick was adamant as there was a payday promised.

He should have told you about the fact that this particular planet detonated their bomb guns with a swift blow of carbon dioxide and mucus. You couldn’t help that you sneezed at the inauguration, and one of the top security personnel just happened to be standing next to you when you turned in his direction.

Chaos had ensued (again), and suddenly you were surrounded by inter-galactic security with guns pointing at you from every direction. They knew Rick given his standing offenses, so they cuffed the two of you (under the guise of “precautionary measures”) and pushed you towards the open doors of the cop spacecraft. It was when you were getting in that you had another sneezing fit, and the uniforms went ballistic piling into the vehicle. They pulled the craft up from the planet and out into space as quickly as they could.

When you were a safe distance away, you saw the explosion. The whole planet burst into a fiery cacophony of chaos and destruction before becoming a fireball that burned from bright orange quickly down to ash.

Rick was staring you down, fuming.You shrugged coquettishly, trying to smile at his disdain.

The present Rick, who was in a jail cell with you now, suddenly began to laugh. “You know, baby, you’re a mess.”

You smile at him. “You wouldn’t have me any other way.”

He smiles too though it’s thin and ghostlike. Never show too much is his motto. “Yeah, that much is true.”

You’re certain he already has an exit plan for this situation even if he hasn’t told you what it is yet…Rick is always three to ten steps ahead…

@ricksanchezdwc