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tabloidtoc · 4 years

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National Enquirer, September 28

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: Jeffrey Epstein’s madam Ghislaine Maxwell’s secret husband unmasked

Page 2: Royal renegades Prince Harry and wife Meghan Markle have turned their backs on the U.K. forever by paying back $3.1 million borrowed from British taxpayers to renovate Frogmore Cottage because Harry always felt the weight of the public loan and he’s paid it back in full as one of the last stages in divorcing himself from the royal family and the U.K. itself -- the California-based couple who recently bought a $15 million mansion in Montecito also claimed they will no longer take handout from Harry’s dad Prince Charles after signing a Netflix deal said to be worth as much as $150 million

Page 3: Slimmed-down Jessica Simpson has told chubby hubby Eric Johnson to shape up or ship out -- she’s been laser-focused on healthy dieting and exercise since giving birth to daughter Birdie Mae 18 months ago but her flabby ex-football star spouse has been piling on the pounds

Page 4: Angelina Jolie has shrunk to a skeletal 99 pounds after launching a hunger strike to force hated ex Brad Pitt to cave to her child custody demands but friends and medical experts fear the star may be killing herself in the process -- Angie’s surviving on handfuls of grains and nuts and avoiding full meals and she’s banking on Brad cratering when he sees her in such a sorry state and giving her anything she wants, sober and svelte Kelly Osbourne is on a mission to find a man

Page 5: Demi Moore is drooling over love rat Justin Hartley’s Instagram posts and she’s got it bad for the lothario -- she’s had it bad for him ever since they filmed a funny skit together on The Tonight Show last year -- Demi has not had a serious romance since her catastrophic breakup in 2013 with Ashton Kutcher but she’s coming out of her shell after swearing off dating and now she wants to have some fun and she’s zeroed in on Justin

Page 6: Katie Holmes has given up on Hollywood hunks and found romance with a Big Apple chef -- she was snapped getting hot and heavy with Emilio Vitolo Jr. and the single mom is hungry for love with a man more focused on her than stardom

Page 7: Sharon Osbourne chased Marie Osmond off The Talk -- Marie thought the show would be fun and just a bunch of girls gabbing about their lives and whatnot but she found out that was totally naive because Sharon disliked her from the start and Marie felt Sharon was jealous of her and thought she didn’t belong and there was a definite rift between them and an undercurrent of bitchiness that everyone noticed

Page 8: Big-ideas guy Chip Gaines is clashing with wife Joanna Gaines over money as he wants to expand their empire but she wants to slow things down, Hollywood Hookups -- Jay Cutler and Tomi Lahren dating, Kathie Lee Gifford’s son Cody Gifford wed Erika Brown, Lily Allen and David Harbour wed

Page 9: Scandal-scarred Kevin Spacey has been accused of trying to sexually assault two 14-year-old boys during the 1980s in an explosive new lawsuit filed in New York -- one accuser has not been named but the second accuser in the lawsuit is Star Trek: Discovery actor Anthony Rapp

Page 10: Hot Shots -- Brian Austin Green stocks up at a supermarket in L.A., Gerard Butler hopped about his motorcycle after having dinner in Malibu, Olivia Wilde at the beach in Malibu, Anne Heche stepped out in L.A.

Page 11: Martial-arts movie master Jackie Chan got his butt kicked by Chinese officials out into the streets of Beijing when they seized two side-by-side luxury apartments in Beijing where the Hong Kong-born karate king’s family lived and put them up for auction in an ownership dispute but Jackie is fighting back by filing a lawsuit to reclaim his property which he bought estimated to be worth $5 million at a massively discounted $2 million in 2007 after doing promotional work for the owners, Oscar-winning vegan Joaquin Phoenix hopes to whip up a career as TV’s next top chef -- he loves to experiment at the stove adding different spices to traditional dishes but those who have sampled his stuff have confessed he’s not that good -- despite his kitchen limitations he has no plans to ditch acting but he wants to go all in on trying to become a YouTube or Food Network personality

Page 12: Straight Shuter -- Alessandra Ambrosio played volleyball in Santa Monica (picture), new Dancing with the Stars host Tyra Banks has kicked former frontman Tom Bergeron from the ballroom blocking a final farewell appearance after 15 years on the show and now Tom’s responded by giving tyrant Tyra some lip by openly mocking her bizarre new promotional video where her kisser was enhanced to mimic the show’s mirror ball trophy, it’s bye-bye booze on The Real Housewives franchise because seeing older white privileged women getting drunk and fighting isn’t fun anymore and it’s put a lot of viewers off and Bravo execs believe it’s one reason the ratings have tanked so now there will be less booze available during tapings, Blake Shelton and Gwen Stefani are clashing over politics among other things -- Gwen hosted an Obama fundraiser at her house in Beverly Hills while Blake is much more conservative and they’re struggling to find common ground and the weeks leading up to the election could rip these two apart

Page 13: Keeping Up with the Kardashians is ending its 14-year run because the famous family members can’t stand each other anymore

Page 14: Crime

Page 15: Broken-hearted Priscilla Presley is on the verge of an emotional breakdown and dealing with daughter Lisa Marie Presley’s past struggles with addiction and ongoing divorce with Michael Lockwood and the recent tragic suicide of her only grandson Benjamin Keough have taken a devastating toll on the 75-year-old along with the impact of the global pandemic and the country’s social unrest -- she locks herself in her room and cries uncontrollably for hours at a time and has had trouble keeping up with her daily routines -- she’s selling her Beverly Hills home and moving back to Graceland but the walls outside the estate are covered in graffiti with messages like Black Lives Matter and No Justice No Peace

Page 18: Their Marriage Failed So They Tried Again -- Pamela Anderson, Larry King, Jean-Claude Van Damme

Page 19: Melanie Griffith, Elliott Gould, Marie Osmond, Elon Musk

Page 20: Brainiac Ken Jennings the all-time winningest contestant on Jeopardy! is being groomed to replace the show’s ailing host Alex Trebek by the beloved TV legend himself

Page 22: Prized props pilfered from Hollywood sets are big business for underground dealers and can fetch up to six figures on the black market and even worse some memorabilia heists have disrupted the making of major blockbusters costing studios a pretty penny

Page 28: Cover Story -- Sex monster Jeffrey Epstein’s accused madam Ghislaine Maxwell will never be convicted due to a provision in the U.S. Constitution that forbids married couples from being forced to testify against their mates and now facing charges of sex trafficking underage girls for the pervert billionaire Maxwell has a get-out-of-jail-free card because she secretly married the pedophile before he was murdered in a federal prison last year

Page 34: Prankster Sacha Baron Cohen secretly shot a sequel to his 2006 blockbuster Borat and it’s already been screened by select industry bigwigs, Pioneer Woman Ree Drummond is blazing her daughter Alex’s path to the altar with fiance Mauricio Scott

Page 38: Health Watch

Page 42: Red Carpet -- Venice Film Festival -- Cate Blanchett -- hot, Tilda Swinton -- not, Arizona Muse -- hot, Maya Hawke -- hot, Elodie -- hot, Vanessa Kirby -- hot

Page 45: Spot the Differences -- Gerald McRaney and Aubrey Dollar and Kim Cattrall on the new drama Filthy Rich

Page 47: Odd List -- a gory piece of history has landed on the auction block -- a lock of Abraham Lincoln’s hair that was wrapped in an 1865 telegram stained with the dead president’s blood is expected to fetch up to $75,000

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seacafes · 6 years

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disney channel is going downhill: a rant.

Growing up in the early 2000s, I feel as though as a child, I witnessed the peak of Disney Channel entertainment. Hannah Montana, The Suite Life of Zack and Cody, and That’s So Raven were just a few of the wonderfully relatable and entertaining shows I watched as a kid. The shows that Disney channel used to play tackled feminism, racism, body positivity, and had very diverse casts. The Disney Channel of the early 2000s sent some very positive messages to its young viewers long before we were old enough to understand how much we needed them. While a few newer kids shows may have some positive lessons or anecdotes in their episodes, the older shows seemed to more actively seek out opportunities to enlighten young audiences about what it means to be strong, well-rounded, and confident, no matter what their situation may be.

Back then, we had “That’s So Raven”, that not only featured a black female lead who was as bold as she was hilarious, was also unafraid to tackle issues like body shaming and racism in ways that felt natural. Raven taught us that people come in all shapes, sizes, and colors, and that we’re all beautiful. This shows in Season 2 Episode 8 of the show, released in April 2004, where Raven is excited over a vision of herself modeling her own clothes for a fashion show, until the magazine that sponsors it photoshops someone else's body over hers. Her body has been altered, and she appears much thinner than she really is. She is upset that her own body was not used, and also that the head of the agency only believes that there is only one look for all models. The fashion show director didn’t want Raven to model because she thought she was “plus size.”, and that apparently wasn’t good enough. In the end Raven stands up for herself and proves that it’s what’s on the inside that really counts, not the outside.

The channel also had a similar episode on Season 2 Episode 34 of the show the Suite Life of Zack and Cody, released in March 2007, where London and Maddie get insulted by Francesca (one of London's rich friends) while trying on clothes for a fashion show that they would both be participating in and then, after taking what she said and looking at themselves in a mirror that distorts their images (which can be seen as a reference to body dysmorphic disorder), both London and Maddie decide that they need to handle their weight issues before participating in a fashion show. London vows to lose weight and Maddie decides she must eat more to avoid being underweight. After London starves herself to the point of dizziness, while doing continuous laps around the hotel lobby, and Maddie has eaten several fast food burgers in a single day, the two prepare for the show, though as a result of their extreme methods, they both mess up their chance on stage. Afterwards, they discover that even London’s “perfect friend” Francesca has been stuffing her bra. This causes the two girls to agree that they are perfect the way they are, because nobody's perfect, saying, ‘What were we thinking? We were starving and stuffing ourselves, and we didn’t even need to do it. We should just be happy with the way we look. Next time one of your snarky friends makes a comment, let’s remind ourselves that we are perfect just the way we are.”

Along with tackling physical issues, Disney Channel had shows and movies with strong leading roles played by women like Kim Possible and Wendy Woo from "Wendy Woo Homecoming Warrior" that taught us that girls can be tough and powerful too. Lizzie McGuire was so feminist that "subtle" isn't even an appropriate adjective. The show regularly dealt with the pressures of gender stereotypes, while exploring exactly what it meant to be a young woman exploring her identity.. It had Alex Russo from Wizards of Waverly Place, a character full of confidence, smarts, and wit, who constantly surpassed the low expectations that society had set for her in the show. Her deep exploration of her identity could get pretty inspiring. Kim Possible taught some important feminist life lessons by teaching young women that it's totally cool to be a sassy overachiever, and you don’t have to be a man to be a hero.

All of these shows show that even though things might not be so good right now, everything will be okay in the end. They taught us how to react in certain situations, and how to handle the really hard ones. I still think back to episodes from my childhood when I find myself in a situation similar to one that I saw in one of my beloved shows, and because of them, I know what to do to make everything okay, or at least easier.

In the early 2000s, it felt as though disney were ahead of their time. Many people like to claim, and I agree, that 2010 was when everything began to go downhill. In Season 1 Episode 7 of the show Shake it Up released in December 2010, the two main character’s Rocky and CeCe attend a party, where they are serving food to the supermodel guests. While serving, a supermodel approaches them and says, “You are adorable! I could just eat you guys up. You know- if I ate.” And goes on to laugh with her entourage. Former Disney Star Demi Lovato, who had left her own show “Sonny With A Chance” to deal with her own struggles with an eating disorder, tweeted about the joke, “I find it really funny how a company can lose one of their actresses from the pressures of an eating disorder and yet still make joke about that very disease,” Demi noted at the time, referencing her own very public battle with the disease. She also asked, “What are we promoting here? #notfunnyATALL.” This episode was a sad thing to see, seeing as in the past, we had Raven Baxter, London Tipton, and Maddie Fitzpatrick teaching us that jokes like that were not okay. That same year, in Season 1 Episode 9 of So Random!, more eating disorder jokes were said. In one of the sketches, a girl has her boyfriend meeting her family for the first time. She tells them, “Angus only eats one full meal a week ask him why” to which Angus replies, “My agents always on me about looking my best. She says to me “Ang-y, if you eat too many carbs, you won’t get the jobs. And I said “I knooow”.” But that’s not all! In an episode of Dog with a Blog (which, yes, is about a talking dog who runs a blog), the mother says, “I've been bitten, scratched, mauled, and puked on. And only one of those was self inflicted." implying that she made herself throw up, making light of the eating disorder, bulimia. If you didn’t think it could get worse- you’re in for a surprise! In an episode of the show Jessie, a character in a Zebra costume can be seen running away from a zebra. The zebra ends up catching him, and one of the kids witnessing the attack calmly states, “dressed like that, you were asking for it.” Why was that comment needed on a children’s show, Disney? What message are you trying to portray there? That if you dress a certain way, you’re “asking for it”? I don’t think so.

Nowadays, the shows are filled with fake jokes and contrived situations that no one can believe or relate to. The kids in the shows wear tons of makeup and layers upon layers of fancy clothes. Miley Stewart only wore lots of makeup when she was performing as Hannah Montana. Even Sharpay Evans of East High had all the glitz and glam, but she wasn't over the top with makeup and her clothes.Why are the kids in shows like "Liv and Maddie" and "Jessie" dressing like adults and acting like they have real world adult problems; it seems like they've just skipped over their innocent childhood years.

Along with continuously being problematic and lacking real lessons for the audience to learn, current Disney Channel shows also lack substance. Every show is the same! Looking at the shows now, the actors & actresses look more materialistic and over the top. The channel now has unrealistic storylines, where as the shows in the 2000’s had real-life storylines that were more relatable to us. Even the character’s themselves now lack substance, and with most show’s you can easily point out the stereotypical “smart kid”, “dumb kid”, “popular kid”, etc.

Luckily, Disney has attempted to redeem themselves with show’s such as Girl Meets World, a remake of the infamous Boy Meets World, which tackles similar issues to the ones seen in older Disney shows that we all know and love. That show got cancelled after only a few seasons though, unfortunately, but Disney then released the show Andi Mack, which is about a girl named Andi who on her 13th birthday discovers that her sister is actually her mother who had her when she was young. One of the main characters also recently came out as gay, and I hope that this trend will continue on with more Disney Channel shows in the future. But, I guess we’ll have to wait and see.

Like the great Hannah Montana once said, Everybody makes mistakes, everybody has those days, everybody knows what I’m talking about, everybody gets that way. Nobody’s perfect, and I wish Disney Channel would remember that, instead of shoving show’s about a dog who runs a blog down children’s throats. Not to mention how they let a horribly problematic YouTuber influencing the youth of today with his wildly inappropriate content on to one of their shows, but that’s a whole other rant for another day.

#my works #disney #disney channel #rant

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bravomckenzie · 3 years

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how do you choose which songs you use for playlists? like what is the criteria lol

this turned into a ted talk i am sorry HDJSHD

okay so for my character specific playlists, i always do a combo of songs that:

have the same ~vibe~ as the character like same energy or whatever or like just make me think of them

are relevant to the characters general storyline in relation to the characters side of things

^ the opposite end, aka the presumed feelings of the characters love interest aka for the two fandoms i’ve made playlists for, mc or the detective

i think the character themselves would relate to

so for this bobby playlist as my example heres which songs fall into which category (some might be in more than one) so you can like see what i mean exactly

bobby vibes:

shampain, somewhere in my heart, don’t threaten me with a good time, short kings anthem, on my own

relevant to his side of the storyline:

girls talk boys, gold rush, pretty girl, ready to run, adore you, obvious, electric love, walk the line

relevant to mc’s side:

trainwreck, touch, this kiss, malibu, finally, whatta man, electric love, i think he knows, walk the line, thinking of you (disaster recoupling war flashbacks)

songs i think he’d relate to:

connection, i hate everybody, mirrorball, somebody to love

but when i first make them, i just go through my library and add any song i think could even 1% fit into any of the categories. i usually end up having 50-75 songs by the time i’m done.

then i go through and cut it down to either 15 or 25 songs.

examples of songs i cut:

i feel like dancin’ - all time low, hitchhiker - demi lovato, sorry - halsey, liability - lorde, the rain - missy elliott, end of the day - one direction, etc.

once i’ve shortened the playlist, that’s when i go through and order it. this part is the hardest part tbh like where i do jump around genres so much, it takes forever to put them in an order that sounds good. i always have at least one or more country song, early 2000s song, and probably too many taylor swift songs (i can do it baby i know the law) so trying to make them work all together can take a while sometimes

the ordering process sometimes gets songs deleted bc i simply can’t find a spot for them. then i have to replace whatever i had to cut so i’ll go back through my library and add like 5 more songs and just test the waters with them.

but also sometimes my ordering has a different strategy than just the sound.

for example, in this bobby playlist, there’s a subtle joke within it. short kings anthem ends with cody and noel doing that radio show caller bit. the last line of the song is “well that’s great to hear, caller! glad you got your dick wet. next up, halsey!” and then a halsey song is what actually comes next.

or like my a du mortain playlist started with the prologue by halsey aka mostly just a reading of the prologue to romeo and juliette.

or when i made that wee playlist for myself that someone asked me to make once. it starting with let’s go crazy by prince was on purpose. i wanted it to start with those opening lines: “dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to get through this thing called life.” and then my marisol playlist had a strategic first song too bc i wanted it to open with “this aint for the best. my reputation’s never been worse, so you must like me for me.” bc of when marisol’s route begins.

but yeah that’s that on that i hope i was at all helpful in finding the info you wanted and sweetie i’m so sorry for how much i talked yall know damn well that i just got shit to say

#shut up presley

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tabloidtoc · 4 years

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Star, September 7

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: Prince Harry bombshell: his mother Princess Diana was murdered

Page 1: Todd Chrisley aging backward -- the reality star is withholding the real story behind his new look

Page 2: Contents, Pink

Page 3: WOW! Roundup of the week’s WTF moments and other funny business -- a shelter cat named Dennis Quaid has found his forever home with the actor who shares his name, Jennifer Lopez and Alex Rodriguez can now call Star Island in Miami Beach home

Page 4: Things keep going from bad to worse for Ellen DeGeneres -- already reeling from having to address allegations that her talk show is a toxic workplace behind the scenes the embattled host was hit with more alarming news when police determined that the recent burglary at her $27 million mansion in Montecito was an inside job

Page 5: With top dog Simon Cowell sidelined with a broken back America’s Got Talent judge Heidi Klum has been grabbing the reins at the reality show which resumed taping last week and although she shares equal billing with fellow judges Howie Mandel and Sofia Vergara you wouldn’t know it from the way she’s acting, Demi Moore is thoroughly enjoying herself in her starring voice-actor role in Dirty Diana which is a steamy new podcast that explores the world of female erotica but her three daughters want her to walk the talk and hook up with a real man of her own since she hasn’t had a boyfriend since her split from Ashton Kutcher in 2011 amid rumors he was cheating, his character on This Is Us is on a path to redemption but in real life Justin Hartley is looking like a bit of a heel in his split from Chrishell Stause because in an emotional scene on the new season of her reality series Selling Sunset Chrishell tearfully revealed that she’d learned via text that he was calling it quits on their marriage and added that she was so blindsided by the message that she thought it must be a joke

Page 6: Madonna has had a dismal career in movies but maybe that’s because she wasn’t sharing her own story but now she has been working with acclaimed filmmaker Diablo Cody to translate her colorful life to the big screen and from her famous feuds to her A-list affairs Madonna is set to reveal all -- Sean Penn and Warren Beatty and Michael Jackson and Dennis Rodman are just a few of the guys she’s been with not to mention her beefs with Elton John and Lady Gaga, since 2014 Seth Rogen and his wife Lauren Miller have quietly been assembling an eight-acre compound in L.A.’s Hollywood Hills because he wants his privacy and he’s going to get it, Star Spots the Stars -- Halle Berry, Jennifer Hudson, Kristin Cavallari, Aubrey Plaza, Eiza Gonzalez, Kylie Jenner, Vanessa Hudgens

Page 8: Star Shots -- Beach Daze -- celebrities shore enjoy their time at the seaside -- Jennifer Lahmers in Santa Monica, Sofia Richie paddleboarding, Gavin Rossdale in Santa Monica

Page 9: Birthday girl Cara Santana, Alessandra Ambrosio plays beach volleyball

Page 12: Pregnant Chrissy Teigen out with son Miles, Mindy Kaling, Iggy Azalea at the cover-art shoot for her new single DLNW

Page 13: Josephine Skriver on the set of her Maybelline commercial, pregnant Emma Roberts shows off one of her Belletrist book club’s picks of the month

Page 14: A shirtless Nick Barrotta worked out between scenes for the second season of The Oval, Lucy Hale and her dog Elvis, Cristiano Ronaldo in swim trunks in St. Tropez

Page 16: Brooke Burke, Sarah Jessica Parker and one of her twin daughters at her new shoe store, Bella Hadid wore a mask while out in NYC

Page 17: Brandi Glanville washing her car

Page 18: Normal or Not? Steve-O’s recent publicity stunt of duct-taping himself to a billboard ended with the LAFD stepping in -- not normal, Shia LaBeouf paused his workout in Pasadena to point his fingers together -- normal, as her due date nears a fatigued Katy Perry rested her legs during a trip to a baby goods store -- normal

Page 20: Fashion -- stars make a statement in luxe jumpsuits -- Margot Robbie, Dakota Johnson

Page 21: Lana Condor, Saoirse Ronan, Taylor Swift

Page 24: Ewan McGregor’s big-bucks split -- the actor will pay half of his $40 million fortune to his ex-wife Eve Mavrakis

Page 25: Ana de Armas is cracking the whip on boyfriend Ben Affleck by dictating every move he makes from the people he hangs out with to potential projects and she even tells him what time to be home when he has a night out with friends and if Ben comes back any later than 9 p.m. Ana reads him the riot act, Zendaya and Jacob Elordi’s unconventional relationship has their inner circle worried because although they’ve enjoyed an open romance since meeting on the set of Euphoria some are beginning to suspect the arrangement suits Jacob more than Zendaya because Zendaya has serious feelings for Jacob but if you ask him theirs is a no-strings-attached relationship, Brooklyn Beckham and Nicole Peltz announced their engagement in July but the buzz is that they’ve already quietly tied the knot and are starting a family

Page 26: Cover Story -- Prince Harry’s heartbreak: they killed my mum -- twenty-three years after Princess Diana’s tragic death Prince Harry is being asked to set the record straight about what really happened to his beloved mother

Page 30: Britney Spears wants to be free -- finally going public with her desire to legally untangle her life from her father’s Britney faces disappointment in court and finds support online

Page 32: At home with Angelina Jolie -- as her divorce battle with Brad Pitt heats up in court Angie allows a glimpse into life under lockdown with her boisterous brood of six

Page 34: They Found Their Match -- when it comes to fashion these dress-alike duos really know how to double down -- Cardi B and Offset, Dua Lipa and Anwar Hadid, Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner

Page 35: Melissa McCarthy and husband Ben Falcone, Jeff Goldblum and wife Emilie Livingston, Maisie Williams and boyfriend Reuben Selby, Gabrielle Union and Dwyane Wade and daughter Zaya, Emily Ratajkowski and husband Sebastian Bear-McClard, Prince William and Duchess Kate Middleton

Page 36: Style -- Beachy Keen swimsuits

Page 38: Health -- fitness helpers -- Vanessa Hudgens

Page 40: Entertainment

Page 41: Fall movie entertainment special

Page 48: Parting Shot -- Chelsea Handler cheekily captioned this booty shot I’m an actual peach

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