#demisexual Eddie my most beloved

[elvensorceress]

Sunday Sentences

way more than 7 of them because it's been a while and you deserve all of these 💕 tagged by @eddiebabygirldiaz @spotsandsocks @wikiangela @monsterrae1 @messyhairdiaz @theotherbuckley thank you, beloveds 💕 tagging @shortsighted-owl @hippolotamus @disasterbuckdiaz @housewifebuck @hoodie-buck @the-likesofus @bekkachaos @loserdiaz @wildlife4life @giddyupbuck @911onabc @eddiediaaz @thespermdonorstorylineisstupid @ronordmann @shitouttabuck @babytrapperdiaz @fleurdebeton @buddierights if you haven't posted yet and want to share something 😘

from the Unless finale

Eddie leans in closer, pressing harder, more securely against Buck from shoulders to thighs. “I wanted you,” he whispers and leaves a light brush of a kiss on Buck’s lips. “I want you.”

Buck holds onto him but leans to the side to look at him with a puzzled expression on his face. “You want me?”

What sort of question is that? No, Eddie does this all the time to everyone. He’s the one stealing firetrucks and hooking up in bar bathrooms. Because those are things Eddie would do. When he can’t even talk about having sex even with the man he loves without panicking. Whatever. Of course he wants Buck. “Do you think I don’t?”

“N-no. No, I don’t mean. I mean— what? What do you mean?”

Eddie means this is the strangest conversation he and Buck have ever had. Which says a fucking lot. “What do you think I mean? I want you. I wanted more. I wanted you to stay. You and your hard-on. We could have—” Eddie’s still not sure where they might’ve landed on the they could have had sex spectrum. But it would have been something more than Buck running to jerk off alone because he was too turned on and thought it wasn’t welcome. “I mean maybe you aren’t ready to have sex yet. I get that. We haven’t even said if we’re dating dating and it’s only been hours that we’ve been together. So… maybe this was better. Maybe we should wait. But…” 

But he doesn’t know how to finish that thought other than Buck should have stayed. He needs Buck to stay. He wants Buck with him. He wants to take care of him and love him and be good for him. 

Buck blinks at him then leans back even further and stares with a scrunched look of trying to do complicated math and failing at it. He even holds up a hand like he needs a teacher to call on him and answer his questions. “What? I just. I don’t understand. What do you—what?”

“What do you mean, ‘what’?” 

“I mean who are you and what have you done with Eddie and I don’t know what you mean by, I want you. And we should wait? And you think I’m not ready to have sex yet? Why do you think we’re going to have sex? What do you want with me? Of me? What do you— w-what do you want when you say, you want me?”

What else might it mean? Were they not just making out all over the kitchen? Is it not obvious? Eddie didn’t think he would have to spell it all the way out. But maybe direct and to the point is the best approach? 

He rests both his hands on Buck’s chest. His very soft, very warm, very muscled and beautiful chest with his beautiful beating heart that Eddie swears he can feel racing beneath his fingers. “Buck,” he says slowly, passionately, with as much warmth and love as he can possibly pour into his words. “I want to have sex with you.” 

It doesn’t quite have the reaction Eddie was expecting. Or hoping for. Not that he knows exactly what he thought might happen, but Buck just blinks at him like Eddie’s suddenly confessed he was wrong and actually does believe in jinxes and the “q-word curse” and other stupid superstitions. 

But he’s not the one who responds to Eddie’s declarative wanting anyway. 

“Uhhh. If you’re going to do that, can you not do it in the kitchen,” Chris says from the doorway. “I eat here. We all eat here. It would have to be some kind of health hazard violation.”

Chris is leaning against the doorway. Without his crutches. Which somehow makes him far too stealthy and quiet. Either that or Eddie was just way too distracted with... never mind.

Eddie’s stomach, lungs, liver, kidneys, heart all plummet out of his body. Metaphorically of course because literally dying of mortification would give him an out from this situation. That would be too easy. 

He pulls away from Buck and steps backward until he’s at the opposite side of the room, while Buck is left with his arms hanging in midair, curved around where Eddie used to be. 

“We’re not,” Eddie says. “We weren’t doing— anything. We weren’t going to. We were just talking.”

Chris gives him a withering, skeptical look that only makes him look a thousand percent like his mother. 

Which Eddie absolutely cannot handle right now.

“H-hey, Chris,” Buck steps toward the doorway, coincidentally or maybe not so coincidentally between Eddie and Chris, and turns into his bubbly, eager, friendly self. “Are you— are you hungry? Do you still want those pancakes? Cinnamon swirls and cream cheese icing? I was getting ready to make them for us.”

Chris wrinkles his nose and shakes his head. “Not hungry anymore. What’s going on? When did this happen? Why didn’t you tell me?”

Buck looks back to Eddie with clear worry all over his face, and Eddie tries to silently convey that everything is okay. Chris isn’t in the dark about how Eddie feels about Buck. He’s not angry with them. 

Eddie’s pretty sure anyway. “It only just happened. We weren’t keeping anything from you.” 

Chris gapes at him with wide, horrified eyes. “It just happened? That’s how you told Buck? By saying that? Oh my god, Dad! What were you thinking? That is so embarrassing.”

Eddie’s mouth falls open. “N-no. No! That wasn’t— That wasn’t how.”

Chris’ very disbelieving, very Shannon-face comes out again, and Eddie sags against the counter and rubs a hand over his suddenly aching head. 

“No. Chris,” Buck says gently but solidly. Something firm and stead through storms and Eddie just wants to hold onto him and never let go. “Your dad told me last night that he’s in love with me. And I love him, too. I love you both more than anything.”

Chris turns his scrutinizing gaze on Buck this time and still looks skeptical, but also not so horrified. Just wary. 

At this point, Eddie will take what he can get. 

[bieddiediaz]

demisexual eddie diaz my most beloved

[powerpolyculeshowdown]

tell me about the greater hawkins polycule? i think i can guess some of it but i'm just obsessed with these characters and i never really considered a polycule before, yet it is a god tier idea akfgsjs

gsjsgsjsh ok so i have to preface this by saying my main idea for this setting is no upside down au, or even w upside down its nobody dies au cause it includes characters that did not make it in canon but canon is a toy we play with

THAT SAID i also want to add in this au billy is trying to become a better person and unlearn the toxicity he learned from his father. being abused is not an excuse for anything he did but it does offer a lot of context, and i think without his dad in the picture he would have room to grow

SO THE POLYCULE starting w my main blorbo my beloved Eddie Munson. I read him as being only into men, but he canonically has a crush on chrissy so hes bi in this. He's dating Chrissy and Steve OBVIOUSLY

Steve is also dating Billy (i think they have a lot in common being ex-popular jocks who were different levels of asshole but still both kinda sucked, and Steve having already changed could be a huge positive influence for Billy) and Nancy

Nancy is also dating Jonathan, because love triangles are stupid, Robin and Barb, because i decided she's bi i will not be taking opinions on this unless u agree w me. Shes the one w most romantic partners in the au

Jonathan is also dating Argyle ofc

Robin is dating Barb and Chrissy because she deserves to have 3 gfs and i havent read it but i know she was friends w barb in the book rebel robin or smth like that i forgot the title

So, circling back, Chrissy is dating Eddie and Robin. Robin is still a lesbian obviously so her and Eddie are just besties. Steve is still her soulmate (platonic) i think tbh u could make an argument for queerplatonic here but main point is they arent romantically involved

Barb is dating Nancy and Robin.

Billy is dating Steve but sometimes he and Eddie get together, partly because they're both dating Steve but also another reason i choose not to elaborate on in this blog.

Argyle is only here for Jonathan tbh but hes so supportive of Jonathan and Nancy and the extended polycule as well, he and Eddie get along great. I imagine Argyle as demisexual so atm he rlly is only interested in Jonathan, i dont see that changing but it could!

So basically its all the older teens*. The children are NOT included. Aside from like max being billy's sister and steddie being dustin's dad (2 in 1 father woah)

This happened because i love polyships i love multi shipping and i love the greater seattle area polycule meme.

*yes im aware Eddie is like 20 or 21 but hes still a highschooler and very much has the mentality of one. See: Munson Doctrine

[ropsus]

Weewoo show asks :) 12, 18, 25, 27, 35, 39, 57 aaaand 63. Go ham!! :D

Uuuu thank you so much!!! I'll gladly dive right in!!

12. Favorite storyline?

Oh man, starting out with the tough ones I see. How am I supposed to pick just one?? There are so many good ones!! Although I have to say I've been really in my "Bobby is Buck's dad!!!" era recently so maybe I'll go with that.

18. Favorite rescue?

Oooff, another tough one. The first one that comes to mind is the bus getting stuck in the skyrise from 4x01 (at least I think it's in that one?) mainly because I love the fact that Buck and Eddie just silently work so well together in the scene where Eddie is lowering Buck onto the bus from the roof on the building.

25. Character you'd like to come back?

Well, we already have Ravi back so I guess I can't pick him :D So I'll say Michael even though I know that won't happen and for good reason, too, but I really miss the Bobby and Michael shenanigans.

27. Favorite quote?

Again, how do I pick just one?? Then again, I've put Eddie saying "That's what the 118 is, the family we chose" into two different bujos so probably that one, it just encompasses what I love most about the show besides the running theme of healing and finding happiness again.

35. Underrated moment?

Okay, so, I don't know if this counts as underrated (probably not) but I really loved the scene where Hen said that she and Karen proposed at the same time.

39. Your favorite headcanon?

Demisexual Eddie my most beloved

57. Happy or sad episodes?

That totally depends on my mood but I tend to skew more towards the happy ones.

63. Moment that makes you go i n s a n e?

The will reveal. Just. The way the went about is just So!! Most times I feel like I'm still trying to process that one scene even when we've had two full seasons since :D

[zainclaw]

demisexual Eddie Diaz my most beloved

[corrodedcoffinhcs]

📌Important HCs

Hello hello! And welcome to CorrodedCoffinHCs, the one-stop shop for headcanons about all four of our favorite guys! This post is essential to understanding certain headcanons I will post! Eddie Munson: -Eddie is mlm or at the very least bisexual, with that in mind, most headcanons about him in a relationship will be pertaining to men or masculine-presenting people. If that bothers you, there are plenty of other Eddie headcanon blogs you can check out! Gareth Emerson: -Gareth is a trans man, as a trans man myself this is a non-negotiable for me, and all my headcanons about him are under the assumption that he is trans. -Gareth is bisexual, thus there will be relationship headcanons about him and masc-presenters, fem-presenters, and andro-presenters. Jeff: -I picked the last name Smith for Jeff, just out of convenience and because it was a popular last name in the 80s, this isn't incredibly important, I just wanted to be sure to mention it so as to not confuse people. -Jeff is also bisexual. Freak: -I picked the name Grant Clark for our beloved Freak #1. The name Grant was taken from the actor that portrays him, and the last name Clark was randomly generated. -He uses "freak" as a genuine nickname to take the power away from the word and piss off Jason and his jocks. -Grant is panromantic and demisexual.

[elvensorceress]

Wednesday WIP

tagged by beloved incomparable 💕 @alyxmastershipper @spotsandsocks @mysteriouslyyounggalaxy @wildlife4life @fiona-fififi @panbuckley @wikiangela @ebdaydreamer @hippolotamus @prince-buck-diaz

no pressure tagging @heartbeatdiaz @spaceprincessem @bigassdiaz @shitouttabuck @shortsighted-owl @cowboy-buddie @eddiesbicowboy @monsterrae1 @fleurdebeton @911onabc @sibylsleaves @transboybuckley @bekkachaos @buddierights @thespermdonorstorylineisstupid @gayedmundodiaz 💕

thank you, my loves. more Catching Lightning this week 😘⚡️

Thursday is Pepa’s day off and she suggests meeting at her house and having lunch and coffee with a friend of hers. Which is very obviously code for setting Eddie up on a blind date under her watchful supervision this time. 

And he’s too tired to argue. He wants to find someone. He does. He’s trying to remember. That’s he whole point of letting her do this. He’s clearly not good at finding anyone or asking them out. Or at opening up his heart but that’s beside the point. He can’t pick someone who doesn’t look at him romantically. There has to be someone else who makes him feel something. 

So, he dresses nicely, wears a subtle cologne that doesn’t make Chris wrinkle his nose and call him stinky, and he fixes his hair even though it doesn’t really cooperate the way he wants it to and the pomade he has is older, almost gone, and has been making his hair crunchy in a way that is not attractive. But usually if he looks nice enough, then people forget how bad he is at dating. Not that he likes the kind of people who are only into him for his looks. But he has to play to his strengths here and The Monologue and small talk are not one of them. 

Pepa opens the door with far too eager twinkles in her eyes. “Good. Finally. Let’s get you inside.”

Eddie follows her to the dining room and there are two older women who are likely close to Pepa’s age, and a younger man who is maybe in his late 20s or early 30s. Eddie stops near the kitchen and glances around but there’s no evidence for any other people. No other pairs of shoes by the front door, only two other purses by the island that aren’t Pepa’s. Only one open place setting at the table next to the man. 

Maybe he’s older than he looks? Maybe he’s attached to the woman sitting across from him? Maybe they’re a couple and maybe one of the women is actually younger than she looks? It’s hard to tell age sometimes so who knows what is going on?

When Eddie does nothing but stand near the kitchen, gaping and not moving, Pepa wraps a hand around his arm and pulls him to the side out of their line of sight. 

“Tía,” he starts but maybe this isn’t a set up. Maybe it’s not a date at all. Maybe they’re here to give him really embarrassing advice or maybe she just wanted to show off her nephew or something? Although why she would want to do that when Eddie is nothing but a whole ass mess is beyond him. “I thought this was another blind date.”

She pats his arm and nods. “It is.”

Okay. O—Kay. Then— “And who am I supposed to be dating?”

She smiles and it’s more than a little devious but clearly pleased with herself. “His name is Antonio.”

Oh, is that all. His name is Antonio. His name. His. 

Eddie’s non-living heart definitely has some anxiety to say about that. 

Obviously Buck is a man and Eddie knows that and he is not homophobic or stupid — maybe he’s a little stupid because wow, does he feel stupid. 

But feeling so much, too much for your best friend because they’re the person you’re closest to, the person you trust with your life, the person who picks you up and saves you when you need it, the person you love more than basically anything and everything… is different than the assumption that Eddie might like a random man. 

Maybe Eddie is in love with one very specific man. But it’s not about Buck being a man. It’s not about Buck being some defining factor in Eddie’s sexuality because no thank you to that. It’s not about Buck specifically. It’s just that sexuality is complicated and gender is also very complicated and attraction is so subjective and weird and what does it even mean? Eddie doesn’t want to jump into bed with anyone. Who cares if someone is pretty or handsome or beautiful? It doesn’t make them a good person. It doesn’t make them a good parent or a good friend. Who the fuck cares what someone looks like? It says nothing about potential compatibility. Being in love with someone doesn’t have anything to do with being a good match either. 

Where that leaves him now? Eddie has no fucking clue. 

Pepa rests her hands on Eddie’s upper arms. “He is not expecting anything, Eddito. Do not worry.”

“He’s not— What is he expecting? Is this not a date? You wanted to set me up on a date, but— but you always have me meet women, and—” And Eddie doesn’t know where this came from. 

Actually, he takes that back. He knows plenty where it might have come from because people have always made comments about him being soft and overdramatic and affectionate and well, queer. But it doesn’t mean anything. They don’t know what he thinks and feels. 

They wouldn’t know. No one does. 

“And you have turned down or ignored every single woman I have set you up with. Haven’t you?” Pepa gives him a stern but not overly serious look. 

It wasn’t intentional or anything. Eddie just… he tried? He tried, okay. Feeling anything for a stranger is difficult. He tried to get to know a few of them more, but people are impatient and these things take time, and how is Eddie supposed to fall in love with anyone when he’s already in love with someone else? 

“There are only so many single women in Los Angeles,” Pepa continues. “And I would like to have some friends still since you have been rejecting everyone I have suggested? No? Your friends, Karen and Linda, too? We’ve found you plenty of lovely, beautiful women. And your answer is always the same.”

Eddie sighs. “Tía, I—” What does he say? Can he look her in the eyes and tell her he is 100% uninterested in men? Because she will see through him in a heartbeat. 

Is he interested in men? Is he interested in anyone? He loved Shannon but when other people described crushes and falling in love and wanting someone, it didn’t feel like that for Eddie. She was his best friend. It was comfortable. She was fun and free and magical. Shannon was special. And Buck is also special. 

And nothing means anything and what does Eddie even do here? 

“You do not have to do anything,” she insists. “Talk to him. He is here to talk and maybe get to know you because it is 2023 and we live in Los Angeles and there is no reason not to consider something unconventional. Yes? He is also,” she makes her eyes big and intense and leans in to tell him in an exaggerated, dramatic voice, “Very nice.”

Eddie rolls his eyes. And yeah. He probably deserves that one. 

“And he is very handsome and a doctor, a pediatrician, so he is good with children, and he knows you are uncertain and unlucky in love—”

Oh, wonderful. That’s exactly what Eddie wants everyone to know. How bad he is at this. 

“—and maybe you will surprise yourself.”

Or maybe this will be like everything else because Eddie is fucked up and trying too hard and it has to show to every single person he meets. 

What if men might be more interesting to him? Or interesting at all? He’s never actually tried to date a man. How would he know if it works for him or not? It’s not as if the concept bothers him. He’s thought plenty about what it would be like to share his life with another man. 

He’s dreamed of waking with Buck’s arms around him. He’s thought about what it would be like to kiss him gently until he smiles and pulls Eddie closer. Every time they do laundry together or cook together or do the dishes or take turns picking Chris up from school and helping him with his homework, Eddie wishes it could always be the three of them. When Eddie is lonely and aching to be touched with love and affection, he wonders how it would feel to have Buck’s hands on his body. He’s wondered what it would be like to make love with him. 

But people have random sexual thoughts that don’t necessarily have anything to do with a person’s sexuality and it’s Buck and Eddie is absolutely in love with Buck. 

And Buck has a girlfriend and that is a disaster and he doesn’t want Eddie that way anyway. 

So.

“Okay,” Eddie says. “I’ll give it a shot.”

Surprise blooms over Pepa’s face for half a second, and then she’s back to smirking. She leads him into the dining room and introduces him to Antonio. 

[elvensorceress]

Not a question but I just wanted to say, your Buddie fic: "Unless You Ask Me To" is one of my favorite Buddie fics so far. I'm on chapter 7 and I'm absolutely in love with it. Especially the way you've made Eddie ace. I'm ace myself and it really struck a chord with me in some of the moments. I also just love the way things have been going on in the fic.

Anyways yeah, I hope you're doing good 😊

Darling! You're so sweet! 😭🥹😭🥹 I am so happy you're enjoying that monster of a fic! ace/demi!Eddie is so special and so important to me and this exploration of his journey to self-acceptance and finding love has been so emotional and cathartic. I hope it's something similar for other aspec people who read it. Coming to terms with my own ace/demisexuality is not easy, it's a process, I always feel like it's an ongoing thing. At least, that's what it's like for me.

But getting to put so much of that into Eddie has been such a healing thing. I thought my Eddie vs Feelings fic (that is specifically primarily about him figuring out ace/demisexuality) was The Most I could do with the concept and that journey, but this one in Unless You Ask Me To has been even more intense and real and painful but like I said. Healing and cathartic through how hard he's working to figure it out and feel comfortable with his own sexuality.

It always makes me so happy to know that these feelings and this story resonates with people. I know I've felt so alone and so different because of my own ace-ness, so I am always so happy to know that people feel seen and represented and hopefully a little less alone knowing that someone else has similar thoughts, feelings, and struggles. It also helps that Buck is such a supportive and loving partner and that it's easy to write the boys as so in love because it really illustrates that you can find someone who loves you the way you want and need and doesn't see you as broken. idk about you but that was revelatory for me.

Thank you so much and I hope you continue to enjoy it! Have a wonderful week! All the love and hugs for you! 💜💜💜💜💜💜

[elvensorceress]

okay, so. fuck it friday? it’s still friday here shhh. 

tagged by @alyxmastershipper @buddiearemydads @megsvstheworld @heartbeatdiaz @peachydiaz @rogerzsteven @spotsandsocks @fleurdebeton @hippolotamus @rewritetheending @capseycartwright 💕

not that it’s really friday anymore but if any of you want to share something and haven’t? @shortsighted-owl @wh0re-behavi0r @eddiescowboy @astronaut-karenwilson @911onabc @cowboy-buddie @rose-buddie @honestlydarkprincess @ronordmann @bigassdiaz @comfortbuddie @comaboybuck @littlespoonevan @littlebitofdiaz @bekkachaos @captain-hen @mysteriouslyyounggalaxy @jobairdxx 💕

I am currently working on making my Catching Lightning a post s6 fic so we can fix some nonsense and let the boys live happily ever after. SO. Have some fixed nonsense. Marisol ends it with Eddie. 

Eddie’s supposed to feel something. Isn’t he? Something. Anything. 

He was excited to try. He was excited to find someone he might connect with. And she’s great. She’s funny and kind and silly in a good way. It’s nice to have someone to spend time with the way they do. When Chris is busy and Buck is preoccupied, and— and Eddie has friends. He has other people not just them. He’s been spending a lot of time on the phone with his parents and Abuela. He even called and talked to his sisters the other day.

But it’s different. Dating someone. Being in a relationship. 

Except Marisol is completely right. He hasn’t really done this. 

How do you do this? 

Uncomplicated is good. Low-key is really good. He needs something. He needs to not be alone. He needs it to work because— because Buck bought a couch. Buck has a girlfriend. Who isn’t a heartless, soul-sucking scumbag. Buck found someone and he’s happy.

This isn’t about Buck. That has no relevance here. 

Maybe Eddie really doesn’t know what he wants. At least now, lifetimes after Shannon. How could he know? If he hasn’t looked? If can’t he feel anything?

There’s something dead in Eddie’s chest and he doesn’t know how to make it beat again. He doesn’t know how to bring it back. Something of him died with Shannon, but it wasn’t like this. 

“I’m sorry, Eddie,” Marisol says. “We can still be friends? I do like you. Spending time with you. But I don’t think you’re ready for a serious relationship.”

He immediately has to argue, even if it’s without thinking, “What if I could be? We can try again. We can start over. I can— I don’t know. I can do it better this time. I’ll be more available. I can ask some friends to watch Chris and then I’ll have more time. For you. For this. We can do whatever you want.”

She bites her lip and gives him a sorrowful look. “It’s not going to work. I don’t want to make you feel badly. But we don’t fit. You talk about magical chemistry. You have this idea of beautiful, perfect romance. It’s very sweet. But no one can live up to that. Even the best relationships are a lot of work and effort. I’m not magic. I’m just me. I don’t want to be on a pedestal. I don’t want something that doesn’t feel real.”

What is he supposed to say? He knows the difference between real and fantasy. No relationship is going to be perfect or even halfway ideal. He knows that. He’s lived plenty of that. He’s not romanticizing this. He’s not. 

Is he? 

Has he been trying so hard to find something, to feel something, to make something work, that it turned into too much pressure? 

They were having fun. Right? They had a moment when they met up again, didn’t they? 

He can’t feel anything. He never does.

What is he supposed to feel? If not magic? 

“Is this because we haven’t kissed? Because we haven’t—  I don’t like. I’m not ready for that. It’s not you. Or this. I don’t— Being physically intimate is— it’s a lot. It’s a big thing. To me. I can’t just— I don’t want—”

“I know.” She reaches across the table and rests her hand lightly on top of his. “It’s not that. I don’t like to rush that either. I don’t feel that way about you. And I don’t think you really feel that way about me.”

Then. He doesn’t know anything else he can say. 

It’s over. It wasn’t really a thing. And now he’s back at the starting line. 

Her hand leaves his and she playfully kicks him under the table instead. “Look at it this way. We tried. It was fun. No hard feelings. And you can go try again. Remember what you liked, think about what didn’t work, separate the good from the bad, what’s realistic and achievable from what’s too much of a dreamy fantasy, and then next time, you have a better idea of what you’re looking for.”

Yeah. Sure. Make it a lesson learned and try again. And again. And again. Until he dies alone. 

“Play the field a little. See what you can find. See what fits and makes you happy. Have some fun.” She gets up from the table and takes her coffee, but touches his shoulder before she walks away, “You deserve to find someone who gives you butterflies and sweaty palms but who you would want to do taxes with. You want chemistry and magic, but people also have to be mundane. Someone who can make you fly and also keep you grounded. You should have someone who makes your heart light up. Not someone you think should make you feel that way because it’s pretty and romantic. Someone who actually makes you feel that way even when it’s ugly and ordinary.” 

Meaning. He needs to find someone who makes him feel something. Even when it’s not a fantasy. 

How can he feel anything? 

He’s supposed to. He’s been trying to. God, has he been trying to. How can he process anything when he can’t feel it? How can he deal when everything is cut off and broken. Deceased. Shocked into cardiac arrest. 

What if he doesn’t have the parts to jumpstart or rebuild, rewire, repair? How can you light up something that’s burnt out? 

He’s grieved Shannon. For years. It feels like that’s in a better place. He can talk about her. He can remember her without hurting. 

He’s not sure that’s why his heart died. 

His heart died. It stopped. One hundred and ninety-seven seconds. It was gone. He was gone. He was dead. 

One hundred and ninety-seven seconds.

Three minutes and seventeen seconds. 

Too long for such a small amount of time. Too long for what it was. Too long to be without. 

So, it ends with Marisol. And the clock starts ticking, ticking, ticking all over again. He’s always late, always falling behind, always running out of time. 

[elvensorceress]

cut for me rambling about the NaNo Buddie fic I’m working on

So I’ve been working on a NaNoWriMo project? And somehow, I am at 39K so far. In just over two weeks. Like, I didn’t go in with any plan, stuff just came out, and now I’m almost at the 50K mark and we are only halfway through the month. How does this even happen? Idk. Eddie has a lot of feelings. 🙃 

It is Eddie vs Feelings and yes, I will probably still call it that when it’s finished. lol I was going to make it something more involved and idk ~sophisticated. But ‘Eddie vs Feelings’ is cute? Yeah?

If you read my “Definition of Love,” it is similar to that but from Eddie’s POV. I feel like it has those vibes with Eddie trying to figure out “I love someone” vs “I’m in love with someone,” and his own concept of his sexuality. I got very into some personal ace feelings with this. I don’t know that I’ve ever gone this much into how I might go about describing my own view on sexuality and attraction, but it fits so well for Eddie??? idk demisexual!Eddie is most beloved. 

The fic is also very very close to being finished. I have two and a half (?) more big scenes to write. We’ll see if that will make the whole thing hit the 50K total. It’s possible O_o

If you want some sneak peeks, I posted a few snippets and you can find them here.

Anyway, love to anyone who reads this. I hope you’ll enjoy it when I post. 💕💕💕