#destiel fandom and queer fans were taken for the ride

[flyingcatstiel]

(1/2)I'm the anon who said I don't agree that wincest is canon. Sorry I certainly wasn't trying to start a discussion if you weren't up for it. I think it's possible our difference in opinion is down to culture. I'm from an Asian country where such gestures between siblings would be perceived differently (though this level of intimacy certainly toes the line). I guess I shouldn't project on what is an American show and vastly different from my own culture.

(2/2)And don't worry about making me uncomfortable; I've no siblings and intimate relationships like this just don't exist in my own life. It's also possible I'm trying to convince myself wincest is not a thing because I so desperately wanted Destiel; I relate with Cas so much and as someone on grey-ace spectrum I really wanted to see someone like him end up happy. :( I already have given up on there ever being explicit ace spectrum representation so this is as close as I could get. 

Hello fellow fan from an Asian country! I’m European expat living in Japan, so yes, I think we come at this scene from different angles. I already posted another ask about THAT scene and lol, I also lost 2 followers since your first ask, so I don’t know if it was because of wincest discussion or not. But here’s a thing I do know. We must talk about it. I think a lot of destiel fans tried really hard to ignore wincest subtext and avoided talking about it, partly because we didn’t want to deal with anon hate. I mean, so many of us at least once have received a message along the lines “destiel will never be canon because the show is about the brothers”. Which is so funny, because it implies that romantic destiel is the same type of relationship as brotherly love, and Dean just happens to love Sammy more. But since the CW has greenlit the SPN finale that goes out of it’s way to establish incestuous vibes in Sam and Dean brotherly bond at the expense of romantic destiel, we have to give them their dues. Like I said in my previous answer, it is not only Dean’s death scene, it is the whole episode designed to show that without each other the brothers are miserable. So kudos to the CW for embracing incest. I guess those GoT laurels are so tempting.

In your first ask you said I don’t see anything wrong in choosing familial love over romantic love (which I believe for Dean is directed at Cas if anyone at all). 

and I didn’t know how to tackle it then, but I think I have gathered my thoughts now. So, in Western literature/ media choosing your romantic partner over the wishes of your family is usually portrayed as a peak romance, while following the wishes of your family is a path to heartbreak (mmmm, Persuasion). There are different takes on it, but if the romance is central to the story, this is the usual pattern. And on SPN that is the choice Cas had to face in s10. Cas gave up his angel army and chose Dean. As a destiel shipper, from this point forward I expected no less from Dean and the show seemed to move towards breaking the toxic codependency between the brothers. Thing is, for Dean, familial love is not tied to his big family that raised and supported him, Dean’s familial bond is with only one person, Sam. His younger brother he practically raised by himself. So, while there are stories where choosing familial bond over romantic one is a prudent thing to do, especially if the love interest is a scoundrel, it is almost never about choosing your only able bodied, adult sibling over your lover. In the movie Love, Actually, one of the stories is about a woman breaking up with her lover in order to be a caretaker to her disabled sibling. Her choice hurts her lover just as much as her. It is not a happy story. This is why I can’t see Dean choosing Sam as an expression of familial love. They both are able bodied adults, they need more people in their lives, romantic and platonic partners, If they chose each other, it is toxic codependency and incest. The CW is just trying to be coy about it. I mean, they could have done it platonically but for some reason they chose to crank up incest vibes. 

Unfortunately it also meant destroying Cas and his chance at happiness. Cas confession is a beautiful speech theoretically, and I agree with it’s main message about speaking your truth and love, but since it turned to be his last appearance on the show, it is burry your gays trope at its ugliest. SPN finale really took a wrecking ball at all its main themes. And we must live in with a knowledge that GA didn’t even notice it.