#didn't finish the first chapter (much like the shining au fic if i get to it) but still got farther than most wips all things considered | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

fluffyydumplings · 1 year

Text

Empty Canvases

Gone - Part 8

Summary: Tae’s dreams were nothing but a tunnel with no ending - dark, bleak and empty.. Yoongi made him smile, you opened his eyes to light.. the world and everyone in it made him cry.. Through this abandoned tunnel that now has a torch shining its way and an ending to reach - he runs to it - with joy.. To the sparkly eyed fool who follows him around everywhere and anywhere..

Word Count: 5.3k

Genre: painter!taehyung x reader x yoongi (one-sided love) / third-wheeling / painter!taehyung x painter!oc (male) / moving on!au / heartbreak!au / best friends!au

Warning: judgemental parents / unrealistic expectations / generational trauma / unsupportive parents / toxic relationships / fear

A/N: @hobateas This series has come so far and so much time has passed.. In fact, a whole year has passed since I posted the first chapter.. It’s funny how time passes by so quickly - it goes by every time I blink or think..

There’s a surprise that drops after this chapter though.. So, look forward to that! Summer Break starts soon for me, so yeah… I can finally focus on the things I have intended to finish ever since that of last year.. Birthday projects and lingering requests.. Fics, series.. Ahhhhh!! I’m so excited!!!! (Oh- how things have changed since I’ve written this note)

I find myself unable to finish the very last chapter of this beautiful story.. I have found myself half way through only, and that is where I have decided as of today to end this wonderful piece of mine.. Albeit, incomplete - I will leave the rest to your imagination

Series Masterlist

Moodboard

Previous chapter

Aged Nine ↴

‘Taehyungiee.. Do you know what this is, sweetheart?’

‘Paint..’ in a tiny voice, confusion sprinkling the edges of his fingers he answers to his aunt’s query.

‘Mhmm.. It is.. Isn’t it simply, wonderful though?’

‘I don’t know, aunty.. It’s just paint.’

‘Is that what your mummy said?’

‘Yeah,’ he nods hesitantly.

‘Always the no-funner.. Isn’t it, your mummy?’

‘Yeah,’ he agrees whole-heartedly..

‘Do you see that whale over there, Tae?’ she points at a canvas littered with blue and purple strokes.

To little Taehyung, it was the most beautiful picture he has ever seen.. (He hasn’t seen much besides the white walls of his bedroom and the soulless designs that coats his entire home in his mother’s so-called “chic” - his bad, “sheik.”)

And that’s how he fell in love.. Fast, fully, quick and painfully.. The same way he fell and falls in love with anything and everything..

‘Do you like it?’

Did he like it? She had no need to throw such unthinkable questions his way.. He didn't just like it, he loved it.. He was amazed, enthralled, enchanted, captivated.. Whatever magical feeling a nine-year-old could sheath into words.

‘Woahh, it’s.. Woahh,’ he beamed as paint splattered onto a piece of paper.

To him, it was more than a piece of paper.. It was the truest form of his childish thoughts finally let free and given the freedom to explore beyond its iron cage. It gave him joy, and he gladly tugged onto it.

He felt like a young harry potter who just got a hold on his very own wand for the first time.. He felt like a sparkle-eyed Matilda who no longer had to sneak around just to get his hands on a single book..

He felt free

________________________________________

Aged Seventeen ↴

Paint.. Strokes of white, blue and violet that clings onto the empty surface of his heart.. Like that of the canvas a road away from him - devoid of colour. It bubbles, coagulates.. and evaporates into puddles of putrid green..

His eyes are but two blobs of dust that coats the edges of your window, his head is nothing but a swirl of cream that drips off of the sides of your cup.. He is nothing but an empty canvas. And even with the piece of stolen chalk in his hands and this wretched piece of torn paper placed atop of the table in front of him, he can’t seem to associate with anything but empty canvases.. Because he’s so devoid of colour, he forgot how to draw inside of lines..

‘Kim Taehyung!’

However, there was one man (and only one) that brought rainbows and collisions of mess-stricken fireworks to his dull life.

‘Taehyung-ah!’

At the sound of that ever so hauntingly beautiful voice and that loving smile that was so easy to absorb - almost like that of an iv being injected into the blue of his veins. He smiles - a tragic tale in the making.. sunflowers slowly wilting into strokes of mustard yellow and dirt brown.

‘Hyung!! You have finally decided to glance my way,’ the most he’s ever been near the latter, and the most he has ever spoken to him..

It would be a lie if Taehyung said his cheeks were an unusual shade of cotton candy pink due to the continuous waves of heat that have been coming and going the past few weeks. It would be a lie if Taehyung said the man before him wasn’t the reason to why he was two seconds from hiccuping like a fool who forgot to fill up his bottle of water for the morning run.

‘We can be friends.’

That’s it.. Taehyung must be dreaming! After months of pinning over the sculptor, he’s finally got a chance at seeing those skilled fingers up close and to get a glimpse into that brilliant mind of his.

Isn’t that exciting? Tae’s heard plenty if not a bucket of glaze worth of praise for the soft bundle of wool of a human!

From what he knows, Yoongi sculpted the town’s fountain out of his bare hands.. And that fountain is stunning! He means it!

Perfectly rounded in shape, dips and curves perfectly to form mind-bending patterns, the flowers that bundle at the center! Oh, and the pretty lights (Tae doubts Yoongi did that, but it‘s still a dazzling piece of art if he doesn’t mind saying so himself)

Tae likes blubbering nonsense.. But, can you stop him? When he’s full of so much love.

‘Reallly?’

‘Yes.’

Sugar, spice and everything nice.. Running across a field of rainbow lollipops and popping star candy!!! He truly must be dreaming!

‘Taehyung, let me be honest with you. I came here because of Y/N.’

‘Oh..’ he wears his heart on his sleeve, and right now - there is no sleeve.. There is no heart- there is no-

‘She likes you. Will you do me a favour, and go out with her?’

A strange offer from a man he’s never spoken too.. Did Tae call Yoongi a sweetheart earlier, because at the moment he’s an absolute asshole.. So much, Tae squints his eyes tight and considers spraying either pepper spray or bear spray in the evil man’s seeing globes.

‘So, you’re not here because you want to be friends?’

Betrayal lines the opening of his throat, bitter bile rising to fill the spaces of his loveless heart..

‘No..’ ‘You can think ab-’

‘I’ll do it.’

Tae has a thing for bastards.. It’s showing, and he hates it.. It isn’t his fault his over-bearing, emotionally-unavailable, and self-absorbed stick figures for parents has lowered his standards to a negative 7.. The child in him is screaming to get approval from this unsatiable being.. The child in him is screaming ‘there must be something beautiful behind those ever-lasting grimaces.’

In his parents, never.. In Yoongi, maybe..

‘Tomorrow, 4 pm. Cafe Bonsai.’

A- a- ha- ha- ha-..

Step number one: Get to know this Y/N girl

Step number two: Ask her shit about Yoongi

Step number three: Ask her to help me

Step number four: Yoongi, conquered!

‘Do you prefer sandwiches or burgers?’

‘Burgers..’

‘Ah, me too!’

‘Cats or dogs?’

‘Cats!’ ‘Cats!’

‘Ahhhh!’

Like how we warm ourselves up after a rainy day, or how we dodge from falling stones - knowing of how it will harm us.. Certain things just come naturally to us. Like snow in winter and ripe grapes in summer. Like moisture on cold glass and

The sky is an awful shade of grey, facing it.. One would know.. You don’t have to tell Taehyung.. He already knows..

That he was in big trouble when it came to you.

________________________________________

Aged Eighteen ↴

He felt free.. until he didn’t-

*on the phone*

‘Aren’t you going to show me what you painted the other day, Tae?’

‘Come on, Y/niee,’ in a sleepy voice he smiles as he flutters around on his matress.

‘You know I don’t show my work to just anyone.’

‘Do I have to pay up, Sir?’

‘Now now.. I’m expensive.’

‘Not as expensive as Yoongi’s sculpting rate.’

‘Not as expensive as that, but still more than a high school student could ever afford.’

‘But enough for his best friend to afford?’

‘Maybe..’

‘I’m hanging-’

‘Come over tomorrow, I’ll give you a peak!’

‘Okay, painter.. Hanging up for real now, sweet dreams..’

Sweet? That was when the monsters creeped in, crawling through his bedroom door and dragging him off of his sleep.

The red one pulls at his feet: ‘Aren’t you afraid, Tae?’

The blue one pokes at his undefined cheeks: ‘Too happy.. more than you deserve, isn’t it- Kim.’

The purple one hovers above him: ‘You’re not supposed to be doing any of this, child.’

*crash*

*boom*

*bam*

*puff*

C̷̨̯̫͛̂͐̉̄̎͆͛̚͠r̴̳̘̅̈͆̃͆̈́̓̇͠a̷̪̟̩̗͊͊̅͐͜s̷̘͓͎̓̀̄̀͗̀h̵̨̩̫̯̕ ̷̛̛̤̆̉̍̽͛͒͘

̶̨̱̹͔̈́ͅ

̸̞̳̰̍͆̏͌͘͘̚͠

̵̗̘̳̗̤̪̬̬̑͌̕͜

̶͚͉̥͚̠̤̥͌

̵̧̞͖͈̻̮̓̏̈́͗B̵̫͎̩̥̯͍̲̊̍̎͝ą̷̧̼̦͖̗̯̮̓͊ḿ̴̫̩̻̲̙̭͖̄̄̍̀͜ ̵̼̭̗͕͊͆͋́͠͝

̷̨͓͔͇̯̘͇̋B̷̜̖̘̙͔̜͚͉̿̀̉̚ơ̶̖͐͛͌̒o̷̒̄̓͆̌̅͗͜͝͠m̵̛͚͖̹̖͖̞͕̲͎̉͐̾̆̀̍̀̈́ ̸͎͊͗̆ ̸̹͉͕̥͓̥̄̓̾̕ ̷̧̛̯̗̭͎̳͚̃̅̃̓͑́̚͝ ̵̛̮̝̲̦̫̦͔̜̑̐̀̀̂̑̽̑͝B̴͇̻̪̭̥̭͍̊̄͐à̷̧̠͇͇͉̘͉̱̍͗̈͛̃͘̕͘m̵̥͎̣̜͍͇̏͑̏̃̆̿

̴̪͖̓͒͠

̷̮͔͍̬͎͓̯̫͂̀ͅP̵̨̖͙̯̞̩̪͔͑̉̽̃̒͜u̸̺̺͖̽f̵̘̰̟͊̐́͊͐̿͝ͅf̷̢̛͕̘̻͙̙̙̓̓̃͌͑̿͋̈́

̴̻͍̖͛̄̔̀̽̊̾̕̚͝

̴̨̝̟̗͙̦̾̕͝ ̵͉̘͉͚̝̟̉̏͜͝ ̵̭̳͚̬̮̯̦̔͑̑̓̊ ̷̦̞̮͓̲̳͎͙̖̎̈́̋͌ͅ ̷̻̱̮̼͂ ̶̡͉̟͓͙̀̓̀̌Ḣ̴̨̧̱͉̳̰̇̽̉̈́͊̄̍ų̴̰͕̥̹̘̥̮̣̫̂͌͂͂͝ḟ̸̧̥̘̘̬̳͉̣̹̘̇͗̂̏̇f̴̙͈̀͐͂̈́̃͆͝

̷͕̼̍̾

̵͕́̉̄B̴̡̮̙̯̤͔̩̺̍ͅổ̶̤͙̝̩̲̠̝͓̒̏ö̷̝͚͓̜̼͙̦́̉́̀͂͛̿̀͜͝ö̵̦͎͔̟͇̲̱̿̈̉̋̾̓m̵̛̳̯̤̞͔̳̰̆̄̚!̷̩̖̹̖̮̊̃͗͛

‘Huh.. huh.. huh..’ sweat coats his honeyed skin, clinging onto it like tar on rugged walls.

Like bits of newspaper being placed onto cardboard with watered-down glue, it sticks.. it bleeds.. and it feeds..

It caves in, and his hands trail down the side of his headboard.. It trickles, and his feet relax to the beat of death..

‘This- This-’

The sound of rummaging, throwing and tossing painting red into the thunder’s thrumming blue..

Like a fool dressed in clown pants and bunny ears, he makes his way downstairs - to the noise that haunts his world - his peaceful world of birds and badly bred tigers.

‘Mom?’

‘Oh, Tae.. I was trying to find my plates.’ ‘And I happen to run into this,’ she snaps a brush in half with her feet as she kicks furiously at the mess she made.

‘You know.. My plates! The ones with the sakura flowers! The ones I bought from Japan! I was going to use it! Your dad’s coming home today!!! His plane arrives this afternoon!’

He ignores his mother’s complains.. He burries his head into the ground, dirt slowly burrying him to utter oblivion.

‘Those brushes?

‘Ah!! Your stupid aunt must have accidentally left them here! It’s okay I’ll throw them away!! Stupid bitch!’ she throws a flat-tipped brush across the kitchen floor - and along with it, she throws her son’s dreams away.

‘It’s the prettiest set of plates we have!’

And those are the only set of brushes Tae’s got..

He wants to weep.. But, he doesn't..

He wants to scream and throw one of her plates out the window, but he doesn't..

He doesn't do anything at all..

‘Give me the brushes, Tae.’

Even as she throws his brushes away..

‘Here.. The last one..’

He tucks it into the front pocket of his pants.

‘Now.. Where did I keep those plates of mine?’ with grey sticking out of her hair, she smiles at him.

He simply stares..

‘Aghhhh!! There they are!!!!’

‘Now!! Tae, how has your business classes been going!!’

‘Fine..’

‘Huh?’ putting the white-tinted box down, she looks back at him - expectations whirling in her eyes.

‘They’re going fine.’

He does not want to disappoint her( for as much as she has disappointed him over the years) he loves his mother with all of his heart.

‘That’s good to hear, Tae.’

She would pluck the world out for him.. But, she’ll never come to understand his love for rainbow tainted hands.. lead tarnished tables or the colour blue. That’s the way the universe works. Sometimes, we simply won't be able to understand someone.. despite how much hard we try to.. and how much we love or care for them. That’s just the way the universe works.

‘And then you’ll take up business management.. You’ll do wonderfully well. Won’t you? Our Tae..

He does not want to disappoint her, even if he tastes salt all over his mouth - and the image of his brushes stuffed in black garbage bags has his chest tight and his lungs submerged and brimming with sea water. He does not feel like a fish out of water, after all, for as long as he has lived.. He has known that this is where he belongs..(what he has been told, at least) He’s a little fish whose gills have been stripped off of him, and now he’s heaving for oxygen.. Desperately washing onto shore.. Desperately swimming towards his dreams that bubble with false hope..

‘Mom, what time is it?’

The clock inside of him was ticking..

Tick tok.. Tick tok..

He had to keep a straight face, he couldn’t let his mother know of his precious yet unrequited love for painting.. She would ransack through his room, pull out the stack of cheap paint brushes he had hidden under his bed and that big tool box filled with canisters of expensive paint that he used his birthday money saved up over the years for.

She would stare at him and question how her son ended up like this.. Striving for a passion that would cause him to starve.

‘Oh Tae..’ she would, with a tragic pair of eyes, pitty him with grace.

Oh, son.. I would never allow you to fill your stomach with the dirt beneath my feet. You will make people polish your shoes clean and everyone will be underneath your feet. I will make sure of it. Her eyes would scream..

She would look at him with horror, regretting the days she let her sister (his aunt) come by. She would phone her and scream: ‘What did you tell my son, you unfilial wench!’

And then she’ll phone his father: ‘Tae-Hoon.. Our son..’

‘It’s probably just a phase of his.. You know, children..’ he would reply, busy chugging down his second expresso shot of the day (it was 8 am).

‘Tae.. How about we find you a better hobby? Like- like- skiing? Ughh- like- basketball.. Just- not painting..’

She does not say it, but he knows why.. It has been imprinted into his head ever since he accidentally overheard his parents and grandparents talking over dinner at the ripe age of fourteen.

‘We thought she would be over it..’

‘It was our fault.. We kept on going: good job! good job! She is our child of course, your sister.. Compliments get into children’s heads. I mean, painting as a hobby is different from pursuing it as a career. One keeps you fed, the other doesn't.’

They were afraid, he’d end up like her..

________________________________________

Aged Twenty ↴

Worry grazed his face.. This must be a misunderstanding of some sort, isn’t it? The tickets.. He-

*rings*

To describe the look on his face.. One would have to go to paintings such as “Ophelia” after the well-known play: Hamlet by that of William Shakespeare. The sorrows of picking flowers and drowning in a river not as bitter as the betrayal and confusion that deforms the frame of both of their faces. Perhaps the same way Ophelia fell deep into sorrow upon realising of what Hamlet has done, Taehyung’s heart froze at what only his mother could have done.

The difference between the two though.. Is what a forensic pathologist might describe as one being too horrible to take in: a person with a bullet lodged in their forehead, and the trace of gun powder in their dominant hand. The other being too perfect to be true: a person with inflamed lungs (a sign of being drowned to death) and flesh discovered close to the hyponychium of their finger, wedged in between the tiny opening of their nails. For it wasn’t betrayal that froze Taehyung’s heart to shock.. No- Infact, his frozen heart has thawed.

‘I divorced your father today. It almost feels as though I’m some helpless trophy wife in one of those over-dramatic tv shows who do anything and everything to please their husbands. I was.’

‘I don’t think I’ll be talking to your grandparents anymore.. They’ve been feeding me too much-.. Prejudice.. Ah, forget it.. Bullshit.. They fed me bullshit.’

‘He he..’ ‘Tae?’

He was sobbing, dressed in a badly-stained shirt and joggers that were way too loose for him in the corner of his apartment’s bathroom. Afraid his roommate would hear him, he sucks his tears in.. Or was it his breath?

‘Tae. Are you crying, son?’

‘Hiccups..’

‘I’m assuming you got the tickets today. I put in a little word with the director at the Paris University of Arts..’ she smiles to herself ‘Ah ah ah.. I didn't bribe them. I know you would hate me for that, son. I showed them an artwork of yours.. Y/N emailed it to me.. I’m sorry if you feel like I’m invading your-’

‘And- I’m *sobs* sorry for cutting you off, mom. But, thank you.. Thank you..’

To say his life turned around that day would be an understatement and to say it changed his life completely would be an overstatement. As he sat down and Seoul blurred from his vision and all he could see was clouds. And eventually nothing as the flight attendant had requested for him to slide his window’s blind up. He relishes in a very important turning point of his life, but smiles fondly at how much hasn’t changed so far.

He was still the same Tae who found paint as nothing but pigment then eventually thought of it as his everything (his mother, you and Yoongi included in that label).. He was still the same boy he cried over his broken and trashed brushes.. He was that, yet so much more.. So much has changed, yet nothing has changed.. Deep in thought, he doesn't think it makes much sense.. Years later, he still thinks that it all does not make much sense..

There are a multitude of topics he could ponder upon, but.. Kim Taehyung decided that with a cup of orange juice in his hand, 6.2 miles off of ground and with his long legs crouched to fit the space provided.. That he wanted to be a little schmaltzy and overly sentimental - even if he gets a few glances from the old lady-

‘Ajumeoni.. (term used for a woman who is of old age)’

‘I’m only thirty-eight!’

The lady with the scarf.. His bad..

‘Can I please have more orange juice, please?’

That’s got to clear his mind!

‘Me too..’

‘Huh?’

His eyes sparkle.. A shade of brown that Tae would find delight in mixing colours to match and using his brush to blend at just so the light reflects onto it the same way it did in reality.

The softness of his face, the valley that is his nose, the plushness of his lips.. He was the kind of beauty that made Taehyung wainted to learn how to draw humans.

Sketch be sketch, step by step.. Line by line.. Only three people have made him want to delve in the art of portraying the features of a living, breathing and speaking being onto paper. Yoongi, You.. and now.. This stranger..

A beauty that won’t nudge you into a speechless bubble of amazement.. A beauty that won’t cause you stumble on your steps.. Solely, a beauty that you know deep somewhere in your heart that it would never do you wrong.. A beauty-

‘Orange juice..’

He hopes he doesn't get caught starring..

‘Oh-... Two,’ he clarified by putting two of his fingers up.

‘Jiwon..’

‘Huh?!’

That startles him, but the dripping of orange liquid in a disposable plastic cup calms him down.. Almost like chasing a panic attack away with the neverending sound of the piano.

‘My name.’

‘Oh-’

At moments like this, Tae questions more and more how on earth, he became his high school’s heartthrob.. He was loaded, good-looking (although he doesn't quite agree-agree).. In that department, he did fit into the stereotypical image of what a heartthrob supposedly is - at least according to all the dramas he has watched because he was bored and had nothing to do after finishing his assignments. He never attended any parties, never played with hearts or was never truly friends with anyone but Yoongi and You (Namjoon and Jin coming a very close second)..

He was always and still is a meek little boy who spoke a few words and wouldn’t hurt a butterfly.. In all the dramas he’s watched, he narrowed himself down as being the quiet kid who no one paid attention to.

He was-

Oh- Did people perhaps confuse his aloofness to being a cold demeanour that he held up.. meant to make him look cool? Oh- But all he wanted was to make friends?

Tae pouts, finding fault in his distant glances.. Probably scaring all of his potential friends away.. Then again, he did approach his Yoongi Hyung.. He’ll video call you both once he arrives at his dorm. It’s been bothering him for a while now.

‘Tae.. Oh my.. You can’t keep on falling into this hole of self-despair and deprivation. You’re not alice.. You know, when I first met Yoongi.. He was ready to dig holes in my face. But, I was ready to be his friend.’

‘Not true!’ the cat-eyed man rebutes.

‘Aish.. Hush, yoons.. Anyways, what I was trying to say was - you’re one of the sweetest and most easily approachable people I have ever met. It’s their fault, not yours.. They could have at least tried.. It just goes to show that they aren't worth even a millisecond of your precious time.’

‘After all, you’re our bread winner aren’t you?’

‘Aiii.. Stop teasing him. He might explode, Y/N..’

‘He could be blushing as we speak right now.’

‘Not!’

‘Blushing or not.. Anyhow, anywho.. Did you arrive well, Tae?’

‘I did..’

‘Unpacked yet?’

‘Nope.. Keeping that for tomorrow.. Too tired right now..’

‘Are you going to eat out continuously while you’re here?’

Easels fixed in place, loose screws jammed into inconvenient corners.. And badly chiseled wood.. The ocean was a fleeting yet consistent entity. Like how mother birds spoon-feed their youngs - Taehyung was like a baby bird with wings yet ready to fly with. With the illusion of his mother’s arms lifting him up in the sky, he felt as though he could fly to the sun.

His wings do serve a purpose now. But, if he were to fly too high - he would plummet to the ground. For even after they have transitioned from being melty wax to a solid rock of some sort - it will take time for peat to turn into coal.. and it takes a miracle for carbon to turn into diamonds..

Taehyung strives in being whatever is the best form of his self. He doesn't have to have diamond wings.. nor does he have to fly to the sun. He seeks joy in the most mundane and seemingly ordinary things in life. He doesn't have to fly high, being slightly above ground level and blending in with the rest of the world is more than enough to make him happy.

It sounds bad when he says it out-loud. But- Taehyung finds joy in being boring and simple.. Life doesn't have to have so much sparkle in it for it to be interesting - he thinks.

Then again, simple and boring can mean so many different things. To the post office man by the the bakery, it could mean sitting down all day and withering away just for someone to tap on his shoulder and tell him: ‘Can I mail this?’ To the cat living down the alley to what would now be Tae’s second home, it could mean eating tuna out of a can and making it safely under the fence when it rains. Sometimes, simple and boring can be beautiful. Sometimes, simple and boring is far more marvellous than exciting and fresh could ever be. The world is weird in that sense. We humans, are weird in that sense.

‘Tae?’

‘Maybe...’

‘Aigoo, honey.. Just mail him food. The kid’s shit at taking care of himself..’

‘Yoons.. What did we talk about letting him and independence.’

‘But-’

‘No buts no coconuts.. You love him, so do I. But, he’s no kid. He can take care of himself. We’re the same age for goodness sake.’

‘Tae.. Are you still there?’ you tap on the edges of your phone.

‘Yes,’ he answers, taking tentative sips out of the hot chocolate he got from the cafe next door.

‘Tae.. What did you have for dinner tonight?’

‘French onion soup..’

‘Man, Yoongi.. He’s already one of them.. We didn’t have to worry about him after all,’ you mutter outside of speaker length, knowing very well that Tae could still hear you loud and clear.

‘It was nice.. But, I feel like I’m going to miss Korean food so damn much.. Actually, I think.. I’m already missing it.’

‘Oh no, Tae.. do they not have any Korean restaurants there?’

‘Nope.. not even one..’

And that was exactly how his time passed by - one month of video calls turning into twelve months of video calls in the flick of an eye. As Tae’s canvases continue to be filled with all sorts of wonders, and as the stories he narrate with paint solidifies and dries into completion.. So does his loneliness.. It thrives, splashes onto him, and feeds off of him - wax pretending to be paint on the soft of his fingers..

‘Ya! Kim Taehyung! The project is due this Tuesday.. Are you not going to come over and help me..’

‘Shit- It’s tomorrow? Why didn't you tell me?. Shit- How are we going to finish on time?

‘Calm down, man.. I already did a shit load of work.. Just come over and help touch up the finishing details.’

‘Okay.. I will.. You still should have told me though. I would have helped.’

‘I did! Check your emails!’

‘Man.. Who uses emails in this day and age.’

‘Hey.. Are you calling me old, Kim?

‘Maybe I am, maybe I’m not.. Either way, let’s finish this project once and for all.’

Park Jiwon.. His name had a ring to it, almost like gold flowing in a stream of shadows. Tae would never admit it, he still refuses to. But, if he were to turn a blind eye to his inner monologue and listen to his “Tae Tae” senses. Alright! He’ll say it! Square up and confess to his sins!

When he hears the name: “Park Jiwon,” he might or might not accidentally break into a big-ass smile. Like- the ones where his eyes crinkle a little too much to the point where they appear as two sparkling orbs of daisies floating in the air - the sparkly kind, if daisies sparkled at all. They do have a shimmer-like reflevtion to them when he paints the flowers, to be fair.

Anyhow- What he means is.. The mention of Jiwon’s name alone has Taehyung smiling like he has just eaten the best spoonfool of the best Paella he has ever had in his entire life. Which is a once in a life time reoccurrence, since he lived in Spain and frequented Valencia like crazy during summer breaks back when he was in his teenage years. Therefore, the best paella he would ever have was one he already had and would probably never have again. Unless- he decides to visit his penpal: “Jinhyeon,” when Christmas break comes around.

Anyhow- In short and in conclusion.. Tae’s a hopeless romantic (but you can’t really blame the poor boy.. Can you?)

If you laid eyes on Park Jiwon for a few seconds, you would feel the same.. Tae was mesmerised by his beauty and voice on the plane, and when he volunteered to explain the idea behind what post-impressionism was on that odd January afternoon. Tae fell feet first and right into a pool filled with strawberry whipped cream. Oh, the baby bear harnessed a itty bitty crush on Jiwon alright. He would never admit to it, but.. He did.. Sunshine Comfort Boy was about 99% of what his heart was. The 1% left being a lack of common sense.

‘You know, I’m not the biggest fan of portraits... Right?’

‘I know.. I know... That’s why I never pestered you on that much,’ Jiwon sits on the slightly broken-down stool, nonchalant to Tae’s banter.

‘It’s because.. I’ve never been really all that good at it.’

That brings his pencil’s movement to a stop, the trees outside rustling to an abrupt halt as his head turned to meet Tae - who sits idly on another stool, closely parallel to him.

‘You get better with practice.. I know people say that all of the time. But, trust me on this one.. Some people just move a little faster than others do.. We don’t always remain at the corner of the wall though, we eventually move up the steps.. We do get better.. Even if it doesn’t feel like it.’

A silence that trimmed through the air like wild fire in a patch of grass. There eyes met, not a romantic glance - but one that ends up with two different outcomes.

Jiwon that laughs to his heart’s content

And Tae who makes a face of disgust, the reason behind the latter’s glee..

‘Ha ha ha..’

‘What?!’ he’s utterly confused.. Why was this man child laughing like the world just ended and he was behind it all?

‘Ha ha ha. Just look at your face!’ he infers to the window before them.

‘Pp- hmm.. Hee ha ha ha..’ he snorts and bursts into a fit of laughter.

When did Kim Taehyung harness such stern expressions?. Ever so solemn.. A sentiment he has never seen on his own face before. He would know. He’s Kim Taehyung.

‘Told you so..’

Smiles... Smiles.. He smiles..

‘You were just being.. A tad bit too corny. It felt like I was listening to one of those inspirational speeches on ted talk.’

‘Kim.. Don’t be so emo.’

‘Modern words.’

‘For modern kids.’

‘We’re adults.’

‘Modern adults.’

‘Those two words together don't make sense,’ Tae speaks with confidence in himself.

‘A.. What a juxtaposition expert you are.’

‘For your information, I got good grades in “language” for as long as I have remembered.’

‘Should have went down the poet route instead then, Kim.’

There it is again, those sparkly eyes of his.. The one's that has Taehyung a speechless shade of yellow. A blinding shade that brings unknowing joy to him and his sorry head.

‘Words just have never spoken to me the same way paint did.. You know? Otherwise, I would have been a poet by now.’

‘I’m glad you didn’t go down that route..’ ‘You’re too cocky to be poetic.. If I were to read anything you say, I would probably burst out laughing. Because- like- There’s no way this idiot means any of what he wrote.

‘Idiot?’

‘What?! Did I lie?’

‘I have a hard time believing idiots over what they say..’

‘Well.. I guess, it takes one to know another..’

‘That’s.. That’s.. That’s very mean of you!’

________________________________________

Aged twenty One ↴

‘Are you going to keep on following me?’ Tae sighs, even though deep down he doesn't mind one bit.

‘I’m not following you.. I’m simply walking next to you.’

‘That’s the same thing..’

‘Different concepts..’

‘You never seem to agree with me, don’t you.. Ji?’

Strolls along the riverside, hasty steps up mountains to see the sunrise, mouthfuls of rice cake soup warming you up through the cold.

A life through rose-coloured lens.. The plummeting of magnolia petals..

If Tae were to pick a colour… shade.. or hue to describe his life, he would pick grey.. Not because his life is sad or not worth seeing in colour. Because that’s where it has always stood. A centimetre away from darkness and light.

In a good way. In a way where he can bathe in the benefits of both, without having to always mope in one for the other to be left behind.

‘I only learn from the best.’

‘H- hmm..’ a sigh of disbelief that Taehyung fails to hold back (like many others he has failed to hold back), ‘Who?’

‘You..’

‘Ho ho! For saying that, you owe me a snicker,’ before his next words are said he retreats backwards and...

‘It’s only right.. You called me the best,’ he snickers..

A snicker for a snicker.. It’s only right!

‘Catch me if you can!’

He runs.. He runs in all his silly glory, looking like one would expect him to look. A twenty-year-old man brimming in the joys of his newly found freedom, in the middle of an ocean of youth and the things that come along with growing older.

‘Ha! I’ve got you!’

Maybe in a way, in that very desolate campus of their’s.. As Jiwon playfully tugs onto the seams of Tae’s sweater, along with it came the unwinding threads of his heart.

And as the threads of your heart unwind, you don’t realise it has come undone until the first abrupt beat of your heart resonates across dribbles of muddy water on the ground. Because unlike the laces of your shoes, you can’t see those loose pieces of thread.. Only when you fall and trip, do you realise they are there.

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sharkneto · 1 year

Note

the last post you reblogged about not being able to predict reader's reactions--how would you say shifting together has faired in terms of how you expected readers would react versus reality

My uncertainty with sharing Shifting Together was I did not know how they'd be received with how OC heavy it is. I was not expecting the Rob Love. Or Sarah love, but especially not the Rob love.

A thing that stopped me from sharing those fics for a long time was-- well, primarily that I needed to get orsumfenix's blessing to do so because they're very blatantly based on their fic. But after that was because they are OC heavy, especially JT. There's something much more vulnerable about sharing OCs rather than fic with just established characters. We already know we like the established characters - it's why we're reading fanfic in the first place, to get more of them and their dynamics and relationships. OC's throw homemade blorbos into the mix and they do have a bit of a stigma; an unfair one, I think, but a stigma nonetheless for being self-inserts and Mary Sues and generally disruptive to the characters and dynamics fic is being read for in the first place.

What I expected from readers was... a tolerance. An understanding of what I was doing with my OC's to use them as an outside POV for a specific lens with which to look at and explore our Hargreeves. I love outside POV for bringing attention to weird shit we've gotten used to, and then their step away from the Main Plot let us have a different angle on characters, what was happening, and the plot in general. I started with HIT specifically to minimize OC presence. We have our Hargreeves and we start in their (Allison's) POV, rather than diving straight in with Walters' POV, like JT does. I was hoping dipping readers toes into Rob and Sarah with HIT would get you guys to like them enough to be willing to read much more of them in JT to see what Number was doing the two and a half years prior to HIT.

What I didn't expect was the pretty immediate love and thirst for Rob and the warming to Sarah that happened in HIT. I will say - I get the Rob love. I adore Rob, he's my special little Just A Guy. And he really gets more of a chance to shine in HIT than Sarah does because of his relationship he develops with Five. JT is Sarah's show. So, in retrospect, I Get It. But it's also just Very Special that you guys embraced Rob and Sarah, and Number to a lesser extent, so much that there are people who want to write fic with them, who have drawn fanart of them, who think about them on their own. Those are my guys! I made them up! And yet! They're off existing in your guys' heads! Wild!

In general, I wasn't expecting Shifting Together to be as big as it feels like it is. I didn't expect there to be a community around it. Hoped, obviously, as I've spent over two years writing it all, but didn't expect it. It felt too a little too niche, being an AU fic of an AU fic, and, with JT, too... unstructured? with it being slice-of-life.

It was strategic that I shared HIT first and JT became a prequel rather than the first in the series as I had originally written it. It was strategic that I shared the first three chapters of HIT within a week. I was desperate to hook you guys. See? Allison and Luther are here! See? Five is here and he has a big fight! I'm teasing that we'll get Other Five later! Just begging and hoping you guys would tolerate my OCs enough to hang around and see this story I'd written and was very proud of.

Over a year later and almost finished with JT, I see now I didn't have to be that nervous and desperate about it.

Thanks for the love, everyone <3

#more generally i didn't expect the /response/ to HIT #i hadn't really written fic before i originally started writing JT and HIT and had only dabbled with sharing multi-chapter fics #i didn't expect you guys to talk to me about it - which i /love/ doing #in the ao3 comments and on tumblr #it's very very special to me and i'm very soft about it all if i think about it too hard #i don't think i can stress enough how nervous i was about sharing rob and sarah #as they'd started from a Just For Me fic project (JT) to fill time in the pandemic #''here's my super smart physics professor who works with five in her lab!''#''here's my psychiatrist who is blatantly here so i can ramble about five's psyche!''#idk i felt like they fit too much into the OC cliche and i already loved them and was so worried you guys wouldn't #so thank you for loving them!#hit #jt #i should have a rob tag #sarah #thanks for asking and i hope you don't mind a ramble!#ask response

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ravs6709 · 2 years

Text

Set My Heart Alight- Marellinh (Part 2)

Part 1. Part 2 (here).

Read on ao3 here! (its another 13k words, so you prolly should use it)

Another addition to Open Up My Heart (And Let My Feelings Fly Free), aka my Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint au!

Help this fic got to like 26k words but at least I finally finished it

Warnings: violence, some of the warnings from prev chapter but way tamer, temporary main character death, struggling to determine what is real (unreality, ig?)

•~•~•~•~•~•

"Hey, how'd your talk go with Tam?" Marella asked as Linh found her and sat beside her.

"It was fine," Linh replied. As fine as it could be, at least.

[The constellation, Lady Of The Darkest Depths says that ve is lying.]

"Hey!" ve said, then realized that there were constellations that had been listening in to ver conversation with Tam. "It didn't even go that badly, I got myself answers, and he gave me a hug."

"Hugs are good," Marella said, nodding. "Guess it's not as bad as your sponsor says."

"I think she has a stronger sense of justice. Though, it wasn't like she said anything at all while he explained his situation."

"Are you satisfied with his answers? Or do I need to beat some more out of him?"

Linh laughed. "I've learned enough, maybe too much. It's been established that things will never be like they were in the past, but I think he knows now that he can come talk to me if he feels burdened."

"That's good," she said. "And you know… I hope you feel the same way. You can always come to me if you feel overwhelmed. I don't know how you managed the aftermath of the first scenario."

Ve flinched. So ve was going to have that conversation, wasn't ve?

"I don't mean that in a judging way, I promise," she quickly added. "It had to have felt awful. You grieved on your own, didn't you?"

"This wasn't really something I could just tell someone," ve said.

"I know. But none of us would have blamed you, you know that. I don't think you're a bad person."

How sure can you be? How can you hear something like this and think good of me?

[The character, Marella Redek has activated the skill Hour of Judgement. ]

[Majority of the Absolute Good constellations do not agree with the judgement.]

[ Hour of Judgement has been cancelled!]

Linh stared at those messages in shock.

"Maybe it doesn't say anything about my own personal beliefs, because I don't have any say when it comes to the activation of this skill, but most of the constellations don't think you're evil. And those are the constellations, who enable the dokkaebi's games. Do you think you can believe me now?"

Marella looked at ver with shining eyes, her mouth pursed into a determined line. Ve wanted to believe her, when she stared at ver like that.

(Ve couldn't figure out why she stared at ver like that. Like she… like she loved ver or something.)

"You didn't sound happy when you heard that Tam was the sole survivor in his subway car," Linh pointed out, "In his case, it's a subway car, in mine, an entire aquarium. What's the difference between him and I?"

"Was his case an accident too?"

When Linh didn't reply, Marella continued on.

"I think that's what makes the difference for me. And I get it, he had to make a kill, so did I, I've also willingly killed people. But…"

"He grieves, just like you and I. He doesn't show it, he doesn't cry, but it weighs down on him. I've seen the effect that it has on him."

There must have been something about the look in ver eyes because she slumped. "I'm sorry, I know I said I'll trust him, I shouldn't have said anything."

"I can't blame you for doubting him, I understand. You care for justice, you care for the people who suffered."

"You do too," Marella said, bringing the conversation back to ver. "If you can tell me why you'd support him, it's the same reason why I'll support you. You don’t have to hold yourself to these double standards. You have regret, and you want to make things right, and that's what matters."

"Thank you," Linh said, even though ve couldn't quite understand this. Couldn't understand her.

[The constellation, Lady Of The Darkest Depths asks if it felt good to speak your mind to each other?]

"Was that why you lied to Marella?"

[The constellation, Creator Of The Eternal Flame wonders if it was really a lie.]

•~•~•~•~•~•

If there was one thing that was good about Tam being a Regressor, it was that ve felt less stressed when it came to the scenarios. And maybe it was because ve now knew the truth, but Tam was more willing to tell ver what his plans were.

"I'm going to go get an item that will make the scenario easier," Tam said.

"Y'know, Bangs Boy, there's a better item, right? It's even less risky," Keefe cut in.

"Really?"

Keefe began rambling about some kind of support item—honestly, ve had no idea what he was talking about, but at least Tam did.

"You can't possibly think something like that will actually work."

Keefe smirked. "It definitely does."

Tam crossed his arms, glaring at Keefe. Keefe didn't even flinch. It was kind of impressive, someone who was able to speak to Tam like that, even ve felt intimidated by his glares.

"Fine," Tam conceded, and Linh could see the way Keefe's eyes brightened. "Go with your plan. If it fails, we go with mine."

"I'll get going then!"

And moments like those happened quite frequently. Tam would have a plan, based on his experience from his past, and Keefe would shoot it down with a grin on his face, always making suggestions that Tam would follow through. Every once in a while, the idea that Keefe suggested would leave Tam wide-eyed, he'd be genuinely shocked.

The thing was, why was Tam, the Regressor, able to be shocked? He talked with Keefe almost as much as he did with ver, it was clear that they had some sort of familiarity with each other. If Tam knew Keefe from his previous regression, then he should have been aware of his plans. Why did Keefe even have plans?

During one of their more peaceful moments, when they were waiting for the next scenario to start, Linh decided to ask.

"Ever since my brother told me about his… regressions," Linh began, and Keefe’s lazy posture stiffened. He definitely knew about them. "I've wanted to ask if you've known him in a previous one."

It would certainly explain why Keefe seemed to know the future just like Tam.

“I haven’t met him before,” Keefe replied. “I am… I’m aware of his regressions, but I’d never met him before.”

“Did you know about me then?” Another person, but ve couldn’t really be as angry at him, they barely knew each other.

“I did know who you were.” He sounded awkward, saying this, awkward in the way he was unless he was with Tam.

“How much do you know about me?”

Just how much did he know about ver? Was he also aware of ver fate in the other rounds?

…did he know who ver parents were?

"I… know more about your future than I do about your past."

Oh. But still, Keefe knew something , even if wasn’t about ver unknown past. He was here, and he was with Tam.

"Can I ask something of you?"

"What is it?"

"Can you please protect Tam? I mean, I think I can trust you to do that, you protected him from the Disaster of Floods. I just want him to have a life that he can look back on and feel happy." Maybe it wasn’t the right thing to ask, Keefe didn’t seem like he was a Regressor. Maybe it wasn’t good to ask this of him, but it was the only thing that ve could do to help Tam.

"I won't let him die,” Keefe promised, his expression uncharacteristically serious.

[The constellation, One Who Seeks The End is confused as to Keefe Sencen’s relationship with incarnation Tam Song. ]

Keefe looked up at the stars. "That's a surprise, can't go around spoiling you all yet."

[The constellation, Moonlark That Soars Through The Sky both agrees and is annoyed by that statement.]

•~•~•~•~•~•

◇◇◇◇◇

[Personal Information]

Name: Linh Hai Song.

Pronouns: Ve/ver.

Age: 24.

Constellation Support: Lady Of The Darkest Depths.

Attribute(s): One Who Controls The Floods (Rare).

Skill(s): Hydrokinesis (Level 5), Diverse Communication (Level 3).

Stigma(s): Great Wave (Level 3).

Overall Stats: Stamina (Level 36), Strength (Level 32), Agility (Level 40), Magic Power (Level 45).]

◇◇◇◇◇

I'm the One Who Controls The Floods, ve thought, staring down the waves. I controlled the water and went head to head against the Disaster Of Floods, a stronger version of myself. If ve was able to become that strong, so can I.

That was something that ve was able to realize long after that fight, after a long time of reflection. Was there a point where Linh Song was able to move on? There had to be, if that Disaster could control the water so effortlessly.

I have to become that strong.

Linh stared down the water, listened to the roar—the song that came from it. Ve closed ver eyes and listened carefully, listened to the timbre and harmony, heard the turbulent dissonance that would normally give ver a headache. But Linh was the conductor of this orchestra, the one in charge; ve needed to set a rhythm for the waves to follow.

Ve opened ver eyes and looked forward.

[The constellation, Lady Of The Darkest Depths knows you can do this.]

Linh nodded. A wave of ver hand; the water followed. A wave of the other hand and more water swirled. When both of ver hands moved, the two streams of water followed as if they were extensions of ver own self. The melody began to sync in unity, and it was—

"Beautiful."

The word was just a whisper, but it was enough for Linh to drop everything in shock, the water landing on the waves caused it to splash on ver. Ve whirled around and found that it was just Marella standing there. Instinctively, ve relaxed, even though ve was soaked in cold water.

"Sh*t, sorry, I didn't mean to distract you," he said, walking right up to ver. "You're drenched."

"Well," ve hummed, "may you use your fire to dry me off?"

"You aren't afraid of the flames?"

Linh took a step closer. "No. I know you'd never burn me. Not on purpose."

It was only when Marella's face flushed red when ve realized that ve was right in his face. Ve couldn't help but think that he really did look beautiful. With the yellows, reds, and pinks from the sunset lighting up his face, he looked even more so. He was always supporting ver, even when ve didn't think ve deserved it. Always cared so fiercely.

"God, you're so beautiful," Marella murmured, and ver eyes trailed down to the lips that uttered those words.

Linh traced a finger up his arm, and his breath hitched, even though ve wasn't touching skin. "You're bright," ve told him. "You're like a fire, warm and you've set my heart ablaze."

The finger reached his neck, then his face, and ve cupped his face. His skin was really warm in ver hand, and ve leaned ver head forward so that ver forehead touched his.

"Can I kiss you?" Linh asked.

A few heartbeats passed by. Whether it was vers, Marella's, or both, ve didn't know, but that didn't matter.

"Yeah," he whispered.

Linh brought Marella's face over and closed the gap, placing ver other hand on his waist. Ver eyes fluttered shut. He was so warm, and it was enough to make ver forget that ve had just been drenched in water. All ve could think about was Marella , and how good this felt. Ver heart was pounding; set alight, burning, and ve had never felt this alive in a long time.

It felt like an eternity had passed before they pulled apart.

"I don't know why you like me," ve admitted, "but I'm really glad you do."

"Oh, don't even get me started," Marella said, "I have so much I can say."

"Tell me later tonight," ve said, and ve should probably feel more bad about blatantly asking for compliments like this, but ve wanted to know, wanted to see what Marella saw in a person like ver.

"Yeah, of course," he said with a smile. "You have to compliment me too though."

"Of course I will,” ve said, and then kissed him again.

Later that night, the group camped outside under the stars. With the apocalypse, Linh saw the stars differently. From interesting patterns now became cruel, divine beings. Still though, the light that those stars casted was heavenly, lighting up Marella's face.

"I often wish that this is all just one long nightmare, that I'll wake up one day and know that there was never a scenario, never an apocalypse," he said.

"I've heard that every face in your dreams is the face of someone who you've seen in real life," Linh said, "it's impossible to make up a face in your dream."

"I think I'd remember seeing a face like yours," Marella said, turning towards ver. "Is it selfish to also not want this to be a dream?"

"I don't think it would be," ve replied. "I'm glad you're here."

"Yeah," he agreed, rolling over to wrap an arm around ver, nestling his head under ver chin. "I'm glad I'm here with you."

And in ver arms like this, he whispered all the things that he loved about ver. Kindness, being willing to help—when all ve saw it as was an attempt to repent—being hardworking—because ve was afraid of being useless, ve needed to do something , because ve was still living—ver determination to believe in people, and he went on and on and as Linh listened, ve tried to imagine this version of a Linh Song that he saw ver to be.

Thinking of someone like that, that was someone who Linh wanted to be.

Ve returned the favour, taking delight in the blush on his cheeks as ve admired his intolerance for injustice, the way he could speak his mind yet was never mean, his strength, the way that he too, wanted nothing more than to help people. He laughed when ve admitted that ve found him attractive when he would glow orange from the activation of Hour Of Judgement , when his eyes glinted and he held his sword, casting his judgement upon those who deserved it.

"I'm not going to lie," he said, "but when we fought the Disaster Of Floods and you walked right up to ver and gave that speech, my brain was flooded with how gorgeous you looked, even though that was not the time to be thinking of that."

Ve laughed. "It's about confidence, I guess. You, knowing that what you're doing is right; me, standing up for what I believed in."

He snorted. "I was just gonna say something about us being disaster gays or something, but that works too, I guess."

Ve grinned. "Your explanation makes sense too."

•~•~•~•~•~•

Their group had just finished the seventh scenario—out of so many, at least forty six, based on what Tam had said—when they received the contents of the eighth.

◇◇◇◇◇

[Main Scenario #8- A Necessary Sacrifice]

Category: Main

Difficulty: S

Clear Conditions: It's believed that the incarnations of the area have grown too strong.

An incarnation within the top 20 must take on the role of the Demon King by wearing the crown.

Time Limit: 7 days.

Reward: ???

Penalty For Failure: Death

*There are additional clear conditions

◇◇◇◇◇

"Already?" Biana asked. "Didn't we just come out of one?"

"How many of these are there?" Dex asked. "Will there ever be an end to them?"

Linh wanted to know the answer to that. There were at least forty six, but who could tell if there were more? Fifty? Seventy? A hundred? And what about that debt the dokkaebi talked about in the very beginning? It had still never been mentioned again. Were the scenarios going to stop when everyone who was still living paid off their debt? How much did they even owe? Would the dokkaebi even stop the scenarios if they actually did pay off their debt to the Star Stream?

…did that mean they could be stuck in life-threatening scenarios for the rest of their lives?

No one noticed ver panic though, everyone too focused on the additional clear conditions.

◇◇◇◇◇

Additional Clear Conditions (Pick One):

The death of the Demon King.

The deaths of fifteen incarnations within the top 20.

◇◇◇◇◇

"Wait, what is this?" Sophie—who had joined them during the fifth scenario—asked. "This isn't the normal eighth scenario! There's no way the dokkaebi allowed for something like this!"

Like Keefe, Sophie also seemed to know a little bit of what was going on, though, not as much as he did. Ve didn't feel close enough with her though to ask.

The dokkaebi who had been watching over them just shrugged. ["I'm not in the higher up department, don't complain to me. Besides, I think this will make things more fun, it's not fun when you're too strong."]

Keefe grabbed Tam by the arm and dragged him off somewhere, leaving the rest of them to take in the clear conditions.

"So, what, we adapt to this stupid system and they kill us off because 'we're too strong?'" Marella asked. "Bullsh*t!"

"This is stupid!” Sophie continued yelling, “Even if the higher up dokkaebi allow this, you can't be telling me the Star Stream itself allows this!"

"What about the constellations?" Dex asked. "If they approve, would that mean anything?"

[The constellation, One Who Seeks The End says that the vast majority of constellations are not fond of what goes on in this area.]

"Is there no other way to clear the scenario?" Fitz asked.

Sophie shook her head. "It's either one person, fifteen, or everyone."

Linh reread the scenario over and over again. Sophie said it wasn't the normal scenario, but was this the type of decision that Tam needed to make time and time again? Did he ever have to choose to sacrifice a person?

"We have seven days," Biana said. "We have… we have seven days to think about this."

•~•~•~•~•~•

Keefe came back from his talk with Tam and told them all about the Demon King that they would have to fight. Keefe acted out as the Demon King and taught them how to fight it. It was so tiring.

In the moments between sessions, Linh walked around the area with Marella. The area around ver was less destroyed compared to other parts of the city. It was early fall now, the leaves were changing colours, and ve felt like taking a walk under the trees with Marella, just to bring a sense of normalcy, even if for a moment.

But then there were weird noises, and both of them were on guard in case there was a creature wandering. As they approached the sound, they noticed the lighting of the area change slightly, and they were soon able to find the source of it.

"What are you doing?" Linh asked.

Tam whirled around and faced ver with wide eyes. He had to have not noticed ver coming, if he was shocked. He was really deeply concentrated, ve guessed, if he had let his guard down.

"I was… de-stressing," he replied, and ve caught sight of the camera that was in his hand.

Ve hadn't seen the camera at all since the scenarios had started a couple months ago, and they'd only brought up the camera once. Linh had hoped that Tam would use it again, but knowing what ve now knew, ve didn't expect to see it.

⸢"But there's nothing worth taking pictures of anymore."⸥

Knowing that the world would inevitably be ruined, there was little to value. Restarting life all over again erased the value of life. Knowing that all possessions and memories of the previous life would never exist again meant there was no point.

"How long has it been?" Linh asked.

Tam sent a questioning glance to beside ver, and Linh had to remember that Marella was also there.

Did you tell her?

Ve shook ver head. I didn't.

The words were unspoken, but they reached each other anyway.

"Have you just been carrying an expensive camera on you the entire time? Like, in your pocket?" Marella asked, oblivious to the situation.

"I bought myself the Inventory skill from the Shop," Tam replied.

"What the f*ck? That skill's expensive as hell! Stop hogging all the coins!"

"You should ask Keefe how many coins he has," Tam said.

[The constellation, Creator Of The Eternal Flame admits to having sponsored incarnation Keefe Sencen a large number of coins.]

"I thought you were my sponsor what the hell—"

As Marella started arguing with her sponsor, Linh moved closer to Tam.

"How long has it been?" ve asked.

"Not since my first round," he replied. "A few decades, at least, but I've lost count."

"It took decades to reach that far?"

He shook his head. "There are places in the world where time runs differently. When I lost you for the second time, I spent a long time training."

"Then why now?"

"I thought that… Keefe told me that I should focus on the present." His face was kind of like a scowl, but there was something soft about his tone that ve rarely got to hear from him.

Those two were constantly at odds with each other, but clearly they harbored some kind of affection for each other, if Keefe could tell him something like that, and Tam was willing to listen.

"I've lost too much of myself, I want to take back some of who I was. Learn to cherish what I have."

"Even if you're afraid of losing it all?"

Something flashed in his eyes, too quick for ver to figure out what. "Then it would mean that I should learn to cherish what I currently have."

Ve nodded. "I'm glad. Oh, and Tam?"

"Yeah?"

Linh hadn't mentioned it to anyone in ver group yet, so ve figured that ve should tell Tam. "Marella and I are dating."

To ver confusion, he looked surprised. Ve would have figured that he would have been able to expect it.

"Congratulations," he said. "I'm happy for you."

"You're surprised," ve pointed out.

"Marella was never in my previous regressions, and while I know your orientation, you’ve never shown interest in anyone."

"I'm Linh Song, your sister, but don't forget that I'm not the same Linh Song from your past." And that's why you can't ignore the people you have, because there will always be something new to learn about them.

Tam nodded, understanding those unspoken words. "Do you want me to take a picture of the two of you?"

"Marella!" Ve called out, and she seemed to finally be done arguing with her sponsor. "Come here, Tam will take a photo!"

Marella grinned and came over, draping an arm around Linh's shoulder.

Tam held the camera with the focus he had when he was in a fight. He took a few pictures, using his shadows to play around with the lighting around them. Linh abruptly lifted Marella in ver arms—with a high strength stat, it became so easy—giggling at her shrieks, and Tam, without ver needing to ask, took a few pictures of that too.

When he was done, he fiddled with the camera, and then there was a large hologram of a book, pages turning, until it stopped on a page where the photos that he had just taken were displayed.

"Don't tell me you bought a skill for this too?" Marella asked in disbelief.

"That's just my attribute. I'm a Professional Photographer ."

"I'd say lame name, but whatever the hell you just did was cool."

[Incarnation Tam Song has given you access to add pictures to the scrapbook!]

"What's this?" ve asked.

"I was thinking… if something ever happened to me, you and everyone else should also be able to have this. The photos you take won't be as good as mine—for obvious reasons—and you won't be able to allow others to edit it either, but you can add photos to the scrapbook."

"Why do you think that—"

"Do you think I should tell the rest of our companions the truth, Linh?" He interrupted. "About what I am?"

"Um, what you are? I think we all know at this point what you did in the first scenario," Marella pointed out. "Unless you're going to tell me that somehow you know the future or something like Keefe does or some sh*t like that."

That last part was clearly meant to be a joke, but…

"You know that Keefe knows the future?" Linh asked.

"Well, yeah, he told me. Why else did I have to pretend to threaten you?" she asked. "Wait, he told you too?"

"Well, no, I had my suspicions and I asked him about it."

"Oh. Hold on, does Tam actually know the future?"

"I'm right here," he said, "and yes, I do."

Linh glanced at her to observe her reaction.

She didn't say much, probably taking it in. Not just one person in the group knew information about the scenarios. Keefe, Tam (and ve suspected that Sophie did too).

"Tell everyone at the same time," she said, then turned on her heel and made her way back.

"She won't be mad for long," ve told Tam, then went to go follow her.

•~•~•~•~•~•

"I have something I need to tell you all," Tam said.

Keefe and Sophie traded a look, both a little wide-eyed.

"I know the future," Tam announced. "One of my attributes is called Regressor , and it allows me to relive the apocalypse every time I die in it."

"You do what?"

He explained everything, and based on the reactions, only Fitz, Biana and Marella didn't know anything.

"While we're admitting this kind of thing," Sophie said, "I know the future too. Do you remember that Apostle group that attacked your station back during the fourth scenario?"

They all nodded, most of them hesitantly.

Sophie took a breath. "Well, I was the one who led the group."

Everyone stayed silent, but it seemed like both Tam and Keefe already knew.

"That was you?" Marella asked.

All eyes turned to him. Ve knew that with his attribute, he was most likely to punish the people who committed bad actions.

"Well," he continued. "it's… a shock. And I'm maybe a little upset. But it feels like so long ago, and you didn't actually tried to kill any of us, did you?"

Sophie shook her head. "I wanted to join forces with Tam."

Linh looked to Keefe next, wondering if he'd say anything. Sophie, Marella and Tam looked at him too, but Keefe kept silent. Was he not going to say anything? Fitz and Biana looked at him too, except they had confused looks on their faces. Weren't those the two who had known Keefe the longest? Weren't they his friends from before the scenarios? Though, he only revealed it to Tam, a Regressor, Marella, who was necessary for his plan, and Linh, who had asked him. If it weren’t necessary to talk about it, would he have mentioned his knowledge to anyone?

"Does that mean you can find a solution to this scenario if you know the future?" Fitz asked.

"We'll try, but it's not that easy," Sophie replied. "The Star Stream doesn't really leave that many loopholes."

"What if Keefe uses that King Of No Killing attribute that he used earlier? Won't that make him come back to life?" Biana asked.

"No," Tam said immediately. "If he dies as the Demon King , that is how he will resurrect. That's if that would even work in the first place, since it would be too easy."

"Oh. Well, Sophie, if you're the leader of that Apostle group, doesn't that mean that you can do that weird thing with fake bodies or whatever?"

Linh remembered the talking head, and how horrifying it was.

"It'd have to be my true body," Sophie explained. "A false body means nothing if I'm still alive. We'll spend the next few days thinking, we don't have to do this yet," Sophie said. "Let's take a break from this meeting."

•~•~•~•~•~•

While their whole group was included in the top twenty strongest incarnations of the city, there were other people too who were included. They went around and talked to some of those incarnations, but as expected, no one were willing to step up for the role. And why should they? Every single person who managed to get this far in the scenarios had to fight to live, why should ve expect them to sacrifice their lives?

(But who, then, would take up the role of the Demon King? If it was earlier, then Linh might have done it without hesitation, but there were people that ve wanted to live for. There was Tam, who would break should something happen to ver, but there was also Marella, and ve didn't want to put her through the pain that was having to grieve for someone.

But if it really came down to it, then maybe ve would, because ve refused to let the others die for this.)

•~•~•~•~•~•

It turned out that there was someone who was willing to take on the role. The problem was, nobody had actually agreed on it, their group was in the middle of a meeting when they all received a message.

[The Demon King is being chosen. The transformation has begun!]

Everyone froze. It was Fitz who reacted first, saying that they needed to hurry. They all ran to the arena where the Demon King's crown was, and Linh was met with a sight that ve hadn't expected to see.

Tam and Keefe—when did either of them leave the meeting?—were wrestling on the ground, flailing and hitting each other, the Demon King's crown in between them.

"That doesn't matter to me! I'm going to die anyway!" Keefe yelled.

"What!?" Sophie yelled, the only one able to react. "What is happening?"

"He's trying to become the Demon King !" Keefe said, tossing the crown towards Sophie.

The only he Keefe could be talking about was Tam. Tam… trying to become the Demon King?

⸢I was thinking… if something ever happened to me…⸥

No. He couldn't—

"What do you mean you're going to die anyway?" Biana asked.

"The incarnation, Keefe Sencen will be killed by the person he loves most," Fitz said, his voice more of a strangle than anything else.

" What?"

In the blink of an eye, Keefe kicked Tam and got up, while Fitz grabbed the crown from Sophie.

"I'm sorry," Fitz said, before throwing the crown at Keefe. Keefe caught it and put it on his head.

[The Demon King is being chosen. The transformation has begun!]

Purple aura began to surround Keefe menacingly, his bright eyes burning dark and no no no what was this?

"Fitz, you—" Biana cried out. "How could you?"

How could Fitz allow Keefe to do that?

"I'd rather see one of my friends die than two," Fitz replied, voice low, and head downturned as if trying to hide his face.

"Did you know?" Tam asked, looking torn between throttling either Keefe or Fitz, shadows darkening the room.

"You knew about this?" Sophie asked Fitz, and now Linh was remembering what Fitz had said, about Keefe and being killed , "You should have said something!"

Ve had no idea what Fitz meant, but ve knew that ve couldn't allow this to happen. Ve swung a stream of water at Keefe's head to knock off the crown, but he ducked.

"I told him not to tell anyone," Keefe said. "It's not like any of you had a plan in the first place."

And it was—it was true , but that didn't mean that he could just…

[ Demon King transformation is complete!]

Keefe grew in size, taller than everyone in the group now. Black horns and wings emerged from him, a stark contrast to the rest of his colourful attire. That purple aura stayed, and when he grinned, ve could make out fangs.

"C'mon now, kill me!" Keefe declared, his arms spread wide.

"F*ck you," Marella said, but still, he began fighting.

[The character Marella Redek has activated the skill Hour of Judgement. ]

[The Absolute Good constellations agree with the judgement.]

[ Hour of Judgement has been activated.]

They all fought and fought, falling into the pattern that they'd been practicing all week. Even with that practice though, it wasn't easy, the Demon King— Keefe was so strong, and it took all of their energy in order to fight him.

"So, here we are, Bangs Boy," Keefe grinned. "It's the epic showdown that everyone who's aware of our stories has been waiting for. I gave you the chance to kill me last time, but you never took it. You better take it this time."

"Why?" Tam asked. "This isn't just about fulfilling your fate, you would have done this regardless. This is about protecting me, and why would you do that?"

This conversation between them felt so personal, but all Linh could do was catch ver breath and watch those two in action, as if the world was made up of those two and those two alone.

"I made a promise once," Keefe said, "I promised Linh that I'd protect you."

The words were soft, but soft as they were, they were enough to pierce ver heart and drag ver back into the moment.

No. No no no this couldn't be… did Keefe do this all because ve had him make a promise? Ve couldn't even tell what happened next, until Keefe's sword was knocked out of his hand. Tam's sword pierced his chest, and he laughed, laughed, even as he was interrupted by a coughing fit.

Keefe lost his balance and fell backwards, but Tam caught him and lowered him to the ground. Tam cradled him in his arms, and oh , was that how he looked whenever he lost Linh in the past? Was this the expression on his face? Was this how he looked like when he was losing everything dear to him?

(Was this the expression on ver own face, watching as everything went so, so wrong?)

"Why me?" Tam rasped, the careful mask of apathy he wore shattering like glass, tears bursting through the cracks. "Why was it me?"

⸢"Incarnation Keefe Sencen will be killed by the person he loves most."⸥ That was what Fitz had said in the midst of all the chaos.

"You've saved my life more times than I could count. It's my turn now to save you," Keefe said.

Linh closed ver eyes and looked away, not daring to intrude on this moment between the two any longer.

"But I never—"

"I'll see you again, Tam," he promised. "One way or another."

"Keefe, Keefe please!" Tam cried out.

A sob was ripped out from ver own throat, and ve only absently realized that ve had collapsed, and ve opened ver eyes to see Keefe fading into blue particles. Linh dragged verself to Tam, who was still kneeling. Ve grabbed onto him like a lifeline, squeezing tighter than ve ever had before.

"How?" Tam whispered.

How? ve thought, how could things come to this?

"We—" Fitz began, choking on his tears. "We have to keep going. It's what Keefe wanted from us."

In a blur of black, Tam had pried himself out of ver hold, gotten up and grabbed the collar of Fitz's shirt, shoving him until he was slammed against the nearest wall. Ve couldn’t find the energy to tell him to stop it, ve was tired, and ve was angry at Fitz for saying something like that.

"You knew," Tam seethed.

"I'm sorry," Fitz whispered, looking away. "I had to. He told me not to tell anyone."

"I don't f*cking care what he thinks! He's dead! If you told me, I would have found a solution!"

"Do you think I didn't try and find a solution? Keefe, who knows more about the Star Stream than even you do, knew that the prophecy that he received couldn't be prevented! What makes you think that you can do something? Are you stupid enough to think that you could have changed things?" Fitz shot back, his grief mirroring Tam's rage. “I didn’t f*cking want this to happen either!”

"Wait wait wait—what prophecy?" Biana cut in.

"The incarnation, Keefe Sencen will be killed by the person he loves most," both Fitz and Tam said.

Even though Tam had only heard it once in the middle of fighting, he seemed to have already memorized it.

"He received it after the previous scenario," Fitz explained. "The constellations wanted him to die."

"So what, the dokkaebi making this scenario because they want us dead wasn't bad enough?" Marella asked. "The constellations had to force it to happen?"

"The prophecy came first. The scenario is probably to make sure that the prophecy comes true as soon as possible. He was going to die anyway, so Keefe took it upon himself to make sure no one else had to."

"Prophecies can be overcome," Tam glared up at Fitz. "And I have extra lives, I'd still live."

"In a different worldline!" Fitz snapped, his hands landing on Tam's. "You'd regress! And Keefe knew that! Keefe knows more than you! He saved your life!"

Tam continued glaring at him, but all the weight behind it vanished and he slumped.

"How does he know so much?" Tam asked. "How can he know more than I? Not even the Prophet could know this much."

"If he knows the future," Linh said, "then he'll have to come back."

•~•~•~•~•~•

The next main scenario wouldn't come for a week, but not a single one of them could enjoy that small reprieve. Linh spent a long time crying alone, and when ve ran out of tears, ve went around seeing how ve could help anyone. Drown verself in tasks, so ve wouldn't be useless. Save more people to make up for who ve couldn't save.

Tam did a similar thing. The difference though was that he pushed himself through hidden scenarios, threw himself into danger until he made a careless mistake and got injured.

"Tam," ve whispered, tending to a bad wound on his shoulder for the nth time. Ve was pretty sure that supplies Lady Of The Darkest Depths had gifted ver were meant to be used on ver, and definitely were supposed to last ver longer than a week. "You have to take the time to recover."

"I need to get stronger," he said, and ve heard the unspoken words. I should have been strong enough to save Keefe.

"Who is he to you?"

"He is my companion."

⸢Who even are they? I've never seen them in my life!"

Tam glared at the Disaster Of Floods. "His name is Keefe Sencen, and he is my companion."⸥

"But who is he to you?"

"I don't know," he whispered.

"Do you love him?" ve asked.

"Yes," he said without hesitation, "I love him. I don't know the nature of my feelings towards him, but I love him."

And he loved you back , based on the prophecy that Keefe had received.

"I haven't… I don't think I've loved someone this much before, other than you. Without him, I would have never wanted to tell you anything, I would have kept my distance if he didn't worm his way into my heart. I wanted him to stay."

"I'm sorry," ve whispered, despairing for all the struggles that he'd gone through.

"I want to regress," he said, and ve looked at him, alarmed, "I want to regress and do things right, but I can't because it means I'll leave you and this world, and I can't leave this world for the potential of something better, not when I'll be losing out on this. And he made me promise I wouldn't leave, no matter how much I want to leave, I can't do that to his last wish to me."

"Things will be better," ve said, resting ver forehead against his. "Things will become better. You have me, okay? So please stay, because I won't know what to do if you leave. Tam, if you willingly regress, if you willingly leave , I will personally find a way to cross worldlines, just as the Disaster had done—"

"No, you shouldn't, you'll become a Disaster—"

"Then don't leave, so I won't have to," ve said. Ve was only half-serious, but ve could see verself going through with that threat. "If Keefe has taught you how to live, then you are going to use that knowledge and you are going to live , whether you like it or not."

(And then ve would use him as a reason to keep going too.)

Eyes wide, Tam nodded.

•~•~•~•~•~•

They all waited for Keefe to come back.

Days passed.

Weeks passed.

Months passed.

A year passed.

They didn't know if he would come back, but they all held on to hope.

•~•~•~•~•~•

The scenarios were a little more difficult without Keefe around. Sure, Tam and Sophie knew information, but not like Keefe did. At least though, he seemed to have left Fitz with some instructions. Still, it was difficult, they were not as cohesive without Keefe's guidance, and making light of the situations they were in.

They'd make it though, they'd have to.

•~•~•~•~•~•

On the second anniversary of Keefe's death, a picture was added to the scrapbook for the first time in two years.

(Keefe's grave. That was what the picture was. The image had already been engraved into ver mind; ve visited whenever ve could, but no less than once a month.

But if Tam was taking pictures again, that meant he was finding hope, and if he could do it, then so could Linh.)

•~•~•~•~•~•

◇◇◇◇◇

[Main Scenario #30- Meet 'n Greet]

Category: Main

Difficulty: D

Clear Conditions: You've finally been deemed worthy to meet your dearest sponsors! Come to the Banquet Hall and mingle with them!

Time Limit: 24 hours.

Reward: ???

Penalty For Failure: ???

◇◇◇◇◇

"Our sponsors?" Linh asked.

"We're going to meet the constellations?" Biana asked. "Like… the constellations?"

[The constellation, Ghost In The Darkness nods his head.]

"We'll have to look dignified," Sophie said.

"What if we didn't," Dex mused. "What if I don't want to dress up for them?"

Tam cracked a smile. "I'm going just as I am."

"Of course you will, you and that coat you refuse to get rid of," Sophie muttered.

"Is there a problem with my trenchcoat?"

"I like it more than I should!" she complained, hands flailing wildly. "When I saw you for the first time I thought you looked stupid with that fancy black coat that's always fluttering in some non-existent wind"—for emphasis, she gestured to his coat, which was currently fluttering—"but it makes you actually look cool and it bothers me because ■■■ ■■■■■■■ did not do you justice! Even I can do better than that!"

"What was that?" Tam asked, raising an eyebrow.

At the same time, Marella asked how Sophie "made that noise with her mouth."

"I… was not supposed to say that—wait, you didn't hear what I said?"

"That was filtered information," Tam said, and Linh had no idea what that meant.

"Oh, wow, okay then, I guess it makes sense, actually. You all don't know."

"Is the knowledge of the future that you and Keefe"—everyone's expression turned pained at the mention of Keefe—"that extensive that the Star Stream censored you?"

[The constellation, One Who Seeks The End is curious as to what incarnation Sophie Foster said.]

Tam and Sophie looked annoyed at the message, maybe worrying that the constellation was one of their enemies, before recognizing the name as one of their few supporters.

"I don't know what you two are talking about," Linh said, "but how about we make an entrance?"

Biana grinned. "Damn the apocalypse for making all the good clothes so expensive, but no matter, we'll go in with a bang."

•~•~•~•~•~•

"Oh, it's huge," Linh remarked as they found the Banquet Hall.

"Just follow me," Tam said, and they all nodded.

When they entered the Banquet Hall, Linh realized that there were way more constellations than what the messages had been letting on. It was almost overwhelming just how many of these beings there were. The other thing though was that… many of them looked human? Or humanoid, at least. Some dressed in clothing that would've been worn centuries ago, while others were in modern-day clothing.

…ve was not prepared for these cruel, anonymous beings to look so similar to verself.

Of course though, looking at them, you could immediately tell that they weren't truly human. There was a faint glow that radiated from each of them, just like the starlight they all casted upon the Earth.

As they sat down, various constellations passed by their table. They all took close-up looks at what Keefe and Tam's—because they were easily the two most popular of their group, both for their knowledge and their personalities—group looked like.

The first constellation that struck a conversation with their group was a woman with black hair in a hair net.

"You've come quite far considering the circumstances," she said.

Tam narrowed his eyes. "Vespera."

[The constellation, One Who Lost Her Heart is interested by the reaction.]

Fitz stood up in an instant, and before ve could realize it, Vespera was reeling back, a hand on her face, eyes narrowed in anger.

All surrounding constellations stopped their chatter, staring at their group and Vespera, who had just been punched.

"That's one way to make an impact!" Biana cheered.

After ve got over ver shock, ve had to admit, Fitz punching a constellation was an incredibly satisfying thing to watch. Even Tam looked impressed.

"I'll let that slide this time," Vespera said through gritted teeth. "Only for the sake of her son."

She turned and left.

"Oh god, Fitz, did you have to do that?" Sophie asked.

"It felt good to do that," Fitz replied, looking at his hand.

"Who is she?" Linh asked.

"That's the Prophet's second in command!" Sophie said.

Linh vaguely remembered a mention of a Prophet. "The one that betrayed Tam in his previous regression? I can't see a constellation being allied with an incarnation like that so… the Prophet's a constellation? Then why was she involved with your scenarios?"

"Constellations have their own scenarios to clear," Tam replied, "Minette becomes a constellation earlier than most, but she still has the scenarios to clear too."

"Minette?"

"The Prophet's name. Or at least, what she told me her name was. I don't think it's her real name."

"Wait, so ordinary people can become constellations?" Dex asked.

Sophie nodded. "A lot of them are. All you need to do is make a grand, noteable Story , and not have any constellations that sponsor you. It's harder than it sounds."

Oh. So that was why some of the constellations looked like humans. It was because they were once humans.

Then why be so willing to hurt other people? Why encourage the dokkaebi to kill humanity—both physically and mentally?

[The constellation, Lady Of The Darkest Depths asks if something is wrong.]

Ve blinked, dazed, and looked around for ver sponsor. There was a figure in a red dress staring, a pleasant smile on their face. The constellation nodded.

[The constellation, Lady Of The Darkest Depths introduces herself as Mazu.]

"Mazu? You're Mazu?" Linh asked incredulously.

Mazu—the Lady Of The Darkest Depths nodded.

"Uh, who?" Marella murmured, seeming to not want to be offensive in front of one of the few constellations who unconditionally supported them.

"Chinese Goddess of the sea and protector of seafarers," Linh replied, "I'm not Chinese, but I've heard a little about her."

Ver head felt fuzzy and ve realized that this was another one of those things that ve had no recollection of ever learning. No matter how hard ve tried, ve couldn't remember anything from the times before ve was twenty two.

Sometimes… sometimes it felt like ve only began to exist at that age, as if ve was some kind of character, or something like that.

"I'm really glad to meet you," ve said to ver sponsor.

[The constellation, Lady Of The Darkest Depths says she is also glad to meet you in person.]

Ve smiled.

Some of the group's sponsors also came: Creator Of The Eternal Flame (Fintan Pyren, Marella's sponsor), Ghost In The Darkness (he went by Wraith, Biana's sponsor), Great Tinkerer (Tinker, Dex's sponsor), and One With The Body Of Stone (Tiergan Alenefar, Fitz's sponsor).

"What about yours?" Fitz asked Sophie.

"Oh, mine won't come. Not that it's ungrateful, but because it's too strong to participate in a scenario like this."

"What about yours, Tam?" Dex asked.

Linh, Sophie and Tam all flinched.

⸢"I don't know who my sponsor is, their name is marked as '???' but because of them, I'm now a Regressor."⸥

⸢"Does your sponsor really never talk to you?" Linh asked, around six months after Keefe's death.

Tam shook his head. "Only once," he admitted.

"Really? When?"

"They confirmed that my death would have no impact on the world. Before that, I was unsure."

"When you planned to sacrifice yourself."

"It figures that the one time my sponsor talked to me, it was so I would die." There was a deep, bitter resentment in his words, and ve couldn't blame him. He had every right to hate his sponsor.

"Do you…" ve felt stupid for saying this, but ve wanted to hear his answer, "do you think your sponsor never talks to you because they regret it?"

"If they regretted it, they should have just cut ties with me. Even if they couldn’t do that much, they should have done everything in their power to keep you and everyone I care about alive."

Ve had to restrain a smile at his words, at the way he'd come so far from who he had been at the very beginning. But smiling would be cruel at this moment.

"Even if they did regret it," he continued, "I could never forgive them. They've lost that right after damning me to live lifetime after lifetime of this hell. I could never wish that fate upon my enemies, not even the Prophet. And all my sponsor ever does is watch it all happen. A being who merely views someone's life as a story is someone I could not forgive."

His glare was directed to the stars, to the many constellations who did that very thing. Not all were guilty, but many were.

Only one message was sent.

[The constellation, One Who Seeks The End is listening carefully.]

Ve thought that this constellation was a strange one. They were a supporter of them, but only sometimes sent messages. And every message that they sent felt like they knew something, yet seeming like they wanted to know more. Maybe that was how they got their title.

Linh nodded at Tam's words.⸥

"Tam's situation is… complicated," Sophie answered.

Maybe they remembered that a person's stigma could only be given to them by a constellation. They surely would remember Tam's stigma, Regression.

"Oh, by the way, where's One Who Seeks The End?" Sophie asked.

The constellations at their table all traded a look.

"We don't know their identity," Ghost In The Darkness said, after a few seconds. "We don't know anything about them."

"I've never seen them in my previous regressions," Tam said.

"Nor have I seen them in ■■■■■," Sophie added. "I have a suspicion, but it hardly narrows things down even if I am right, so I won't say anything for now."

Someone then said something that changed the topic, and Linh was able to relax again. Ve could eat food with the people ve knew—and some ve didn't—and it could almost feel like things were well.

•~•~•~•~•~•

"That's new," Biana remarked. "Silver looks good on you."

Linh smiled, running a hand through ver hair. It turned out that dyeing one's hair in the apocalypse was fairly easy.

"It makes you look like…" Fitz trailed off.

"The Disaster Of Floods from the fifth scenario?" Linh asked, "I know."

That fight had been over two years ago, and while Linh couldn't remember all the details anymore, ve remembered the Linh Song with silver-tipped hair. Ve chose to change things up a little, and also dyed the front silver too.

Doing so felt right. While ve might not have thought of doing this without seeing the Disaster with it, ve still felt that this was ver own choice. And in the Star Stream , making your own choices became so much more difficult. Life or death? Morality or survival?

So this, this was something ve didn't have to be forced into doing. And based on the way Tam's eyes lingered on ver hair, this was a choice that Linh Song was making for the first time.

•~•~•~•~•~•

◇◇◇◇◇

[Main Scenario #39- Cherished Memories]

Category: Main

Difficulty: S

Clear Conditions: Relive those beloved (or loathed) childhood memories. Differentiate between past and present.

Time Limit: 1 week

Reward: ???

Penalty For Failure:

◇◇◇◇◇

"God, it's so annoying when I can't figure out if it's changed or if I ■■■■■■ ■■■■ ■■■ ■■■■■■," Sophie groaned.

"You shouldn't be saying things like this so openly," Tam warned, "what if the filtering disappears?"

"I honestly want it to. At least I won't have to choose my words carefully."

Tam hummed. "This scenario is familiar, but a little different, I think. I can't remember everything."

Before they could do anything else, blue lights shone down on each of them, as everyone began to teleport to wherever the scenario would take them.

[There is an error in the scenario!]

Everyone but Linh and Tam had been transported away.

[Childhood memories not found.]

Ve and Tam locked eyes, confused expressions on both of their faces.

"The Star Stream is good at unearthing hidden secrets," he said, "so why is it that…"

"Either there's some greater power that's restricting our memories, or we never had a childhood?" Ve guessed.

"We existed before the Star Stream," Tam pointed out.

"To what extent?" Honestly, ve wasn't really sure what ve was trying to say, but ve needed to consider all of the options. "Your sponsor has to have a lot of power to give you your stigma, maybe our childhood is related to the sponsor in some way. And the reason you can't remember your sponsor is the same reason we can't remember our memories."

"Are you saying that my sponsor could be one of our parents?"

That was weird to think about. If a parent made their child live through the eternal hell that was regressing, they had to be the cruelest parent to ever exist. "That's not what I meant, but don't you think that it's more likely than us popping into existence randomly?"

[The constellation, One Who Seeks The End wonders what you two will do next once you receive the answer.]

Tam opened his mouth. "I will—"

[Scenario has been modified to account for the error.]

◇◇◇◇◇

[Main Scenario #39- Heart's Greatest Wish]

Category: Main

Difficulty: S

Clear Conditions: Your greatest wishes will come true…

◇◇◇◇◇

Ve was teleported away before ve could read the rest of what the conditions were.

When Linh opened ver eyes, ve was in a soft, warm embrace.

"Morning," Marella murmured into ver neck.

"Is the scenario over?" ve asked. "I don't remember clearing it."

The hands wrapped around ver waist tightened briefly, then relaxed. "Did you have a nightmare?"

"What?"

She pressed a soft kiss onto the back of ver neck. "There's no more scenarios."

Ve turned around to face her. "What are you talking about?"

Marella cupped ver cheek. "They've been over for a year now. I know it's hard to believe, my fight response keeps getting triggered by my own dreams, so I don't blame you. Remember when I punched you in my sleep, right here?" She put a hand on ver arm, and when she pressed down, there was a very dull ache.

…ve didn't remember getting injured there.

Ve tried pulling up the scenario window, but there was nothing there. She was telling the truth then?

"Is everything alright?" Marella asked.

"I'm fine," Linh replied. Ve trusted Marella not to lie to ver, but ve needed to know what was going on. "Just a really convincing dream."

"You're okay," Marella whispered, slowly rubbing ver back. "We're all okay. I promise."

The words were so, so comforting, and paired with that gentle touch and soothing embrace, Linh drifted off to sleep.

When ve woke up again, ve and Marella went to check on how breakfast was doing. They were in an unfamiliar house, but somehow, ve knew exactly where ve needed to go. Tam and Fitz were still preparing breakfast, and Keefe was there, attempting to distract Tam.

"Bangs Boy," he called out playfully.

How long had it been since ve had heard his voice? They weren't even that close, but he was close with Tam, and he had led them all through the scenarios safely, and that was enough for ver to care about him deeply.

"Hey, you okay?" Marella asked. "Is it about your nightmare earlier?" She followed ver gaze to Keefe. "Oh, yeah, sometimes I can't believe that he managed to make his way back to us. Remember Tam's reaction?"

Linh thought about it, but could not remember any of that happening.

Tam turned to glare at her, but ve could tell that there was little weight behind it. "Linh had a nightmare?"

"I'm fine," ve said. Ve remembered Marella's words from earlier that day. "I'm okay."

As breakfast was finished and they all began eating together, Linh couldn't help but be on edge. No day had ever been safe, every day was a day that they were uncertain whether they would live or not. Most days were spent either clearing the scenario, or when there wasn't one to clear, they all spent their time training in preparation for the next one.

But Marella said that there were no more scenarios, and even Tam looked more at peace. There was an ease in his steps, every movement didn't look practiced, and he didn't have his sword on him either.

…if the scenarios had been over for a year, why couldn't ve remember anything? First ver childhood, now this?

Linh kept quiet though, because things were okay, they were all okay, and if currently not remembering was the price for their happy lives, then ve would accept it.

Ve would have to.

It seemed though that ver unease was apparent, because both Marella and Tam would ask if ve was okay. Marella offered comfort, and Tam offered to talk about what was troubling ver.

Ve thought about that last one, surprised. Things had gotten better during the scenarios after he finally laid his heart bare to ver, but it wasn't like things had magically repaired themselves. Back then, and even now, it was Linh who had to take the initiative when it came to affection. Ve knew he couldn't help having a wall around his heart, and ve was thankful that he was learning how to chip away at that wall, but something so simple as an "are you okay" meant so much to ver, and ve never got to hear it enough.

Yes, ve knew that a lot of what ve had gone through was the same as what the Linh of the second or first regression had gone through. He knew ver trauma, knew that ve would be able to recover because that was what the other Linhs did. And clearly at least one future Linh was able to live, even without ver brother's support. And with his own trauma, he found it hard to care for people because he was always at risk of losing them.

Still though, ve was Linh Song, Tam's twin sister, and ve was struggling through a world that was determined to break ver. Ve had survived this far, and ve was only human, wanting for the people ve loved to acknowledge ver pain, even if it was a common one.

"Are you okay," a question that Tam only rarely asked, only when they'd all cleared a really tough scenario. When ve might have suffered a gruesome injury, and he would tend to the wound. In their group, he was one of their best healers—second only to verself, who had learned through Mazu's guidance.

That question was only asked when it was obvious that nobody was. So it felt nice when Tam asked it, when there was no danger and ve could so easily hear the concern in his voice when he had always fought so hard to restrain it.

"I'm okay," ve replied.

"Are you sure?" He pressed.

"I'm okay," ve insisted.

"If there's anything wrong, you can always tell me, okay?"

"I know."

A few days passed peacefully, and Linh learned a few new things about ver surroundings. The world outside was beginning to go through repairs. There was still so much rubble, remnants of the destruction that had happened previously, but looking at the clearer skies and buildings that were slowly being repaired filled ver with hope. Because this world that had been torn apart and broken down for over three years was still going on. So many people died and many more were injured, yet there were still so many survivors who worked so hard to make it where they were now.

Linh went out for a few walks, and realized the area felt familiar to ver.

⸢A small street, but not too isolated; connected to various large neighbourhoods. Children ran around at the nearby park, on the playground and the field playing various different sports. A large house stood out amongst the other houses in the street.

This neighbourhood is nice , Linh thought to verself.

The house that stood out to ver was big, but it looked like it would be nice to live in. It was unlikely that ve would live in the area—buying a house was expensive, the house was large and ve didn't know if ve would continue living with Tam, nor if ve would move in with a spouse.

Still, Linh looked up the area on a website, because it didn't hurt to fantasize. And after closing the tab on ver laptop, ve never looked up the page again, never brought it up with Tam, and only briefly allowed lingering glances at the house that ve would have liked to live in.⸥

With the scenarios happening, Linh never really got the chance to think of staying in a permanent home again. They were always on the move around the city, travelling to wherever the scenario needed them to be. Most of the time they camped outside, but sometimes there was a run-down house that still stood that they would take shelter in.

Ve wondered when ve would have thought about this house enough that ve could ask ver friends—ver family— to live with ver.

The bright green grass with flowers blooming, the children— children! There had not been many children—laughing, the scent of home-made meals, the colourful walls of ver house painted exactly the way ve would have loved to see, it made ver heart ache with longing.

Personalized touches were added to the walls: little doodles that Linh could recognize as Sophie's, fancy decorations courtesy of Biana, devices used to make life easier created by Dex, a hallway filled with photographs taken by Tam, and oh, why couldn't Linh remember these moments? Ve wished to remember how these moments had happened, wished ve could remember their smiles and jokes when these moments would have happened.

"You good?" Marella asked, catching ver staring.

Linh instinctively opened ver mouth to say that ve was okay again, that she didn't need to worry, but Linh closed ver mouth. This was something so major, and ve needed to tell someone.

They won't be able to do anything, ve thought.

But wouldn't it be nice to know what had happened in the first place? ve argued back.

“I can’t remember anything that happened within the past year,” ve admitted. “I can’t remember when Keefe came back, I can’t remember when the scenarios ended, I can’t remember when I told you about the house that I wanted to live in—”

“Hey, hey,” she soothed, “it’s okay. You want me to bring Tam and the others?”

“No, don’t, I don’t want to worry them” ve said. Then after a few moments, ve said, “you can call Tam.”

“Okay, I’ll be back,” she said.

As she left, Linh stared at the photographs some more. Casual, domestic moments were being depicted, ver heart felt warm but it began to give ver a headache, like ve shouldn’t be looking at these. As if they were all wrong.

No, that couldn’t be right. Marella said the scenarios were over, and the scenario windows wouldn’t open. Ver powers weren’t working, and Tam was relaxed. Even if Marella was hiding something, ve knew Tam wouldn’t be able to fool ver. Even back during the beginning of the scenarios, when he’d hidden the fact that he was a Regressor , he had always been on guard, had stayed distant. The Tam that ve has seen for the past few days has been nothing like that, more open than ve had seen him in… ever. It felt like ver wish—

“Marella told me something happened,” Tam said.

Ve turned to face him. “Did you ever find out who your sponsor is?”

He nodded. “It’s ■■■■■■■■■■■■.”

“What? It’s filtered.”

“Filtered?” Marella asked. “The Star Stream doesn’t exist anymore, and I heard him just fine.”

But only the Star Stream could filter words…

“What about our parents?”

“■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■,” Tam answered. “Linh, what’s wrong?”

“Something isn’t right,” ve murmured, “I can’t understand what you said again.” It felt like… it felt like ve was about to come to epiphany, but ve wasn’t sure what it was about. “Tell me what happened in these pictures.”

Tam and Marella both looked confused, but Marella indulged ver. “So we went out to ■■■■■■■■■■■ and ■■■■■■■■■■■■■…”

Linh stared at the picture that she was pointing at, and while ve had no idea what she was saying, ve could tell a little based on the setting. But the more ve looked, the less ve could see, and ver head hurt more. The faces in the picture began to blur until ve could no longer tell who was who anymore.”

“Hey, Linh, are you okay?”

Oh, ver entire vision was blurring and hands held ver waist to keep ver standing. “Linh, it’s okay,” Tam whispered, “it’s okay.”

It’s okay … god, Linh had really wanted to hear those words every day for over two years, and ve wanted to sink into the embrace. A moment like this, it was all that ve could have ever wished for, it felt so unreal—

⸢◇◇◇◇◇

[Main Scenario #39- Heart's Greatest Wish]

Category: Main

Difficulty: S

Clear Conditions: Your greatest wishes will come true…

◇◇◇◇◇⸥

Oh, that was why.

“This isn’t real,” ve murmured.

No wonder why things were this pleasant.

“What are you talking about, of course this is real!”

“This moment is a delusion.”

Keefe was still gone, the scenarios still existed, the world was still ruined and they were still fighting—

“Linh, would we lie to you?” Tam asked, a his eyes flashing with hurt. No, ve could not fall for this.

“I’m in a scenario right now. I trust you, and that is why I’ve been happy here. But this is not my life.”

“Even if it’s not, can’t you stay?”

Oh, ve wished that things could be like this. But that was the issue, wasn’t it? Ve could stay in this ideal world where nothing would go wrong, because everything that ve wished in this world would come true.

Except that ve would always miss out on those memories, because ve could wish for many things, but ve could not plan out the entirety of ver own life. That was why things were filtered, because ve didn’t know what ve wanted. Ve didn’t know who ve wanted Tam’s sponsor to be. A villain that they could kill so Tam could be set free, or a person forced into this situation. Who were ver parents? How did they look like? Were they still living? Did ve even want to meet them? If ver heart couldn’t decide on those things, then there would always be a gaping hole in ver memories.

There was a reality waiting for ver, waiting for ver to make memories verself. A reality that consisted of the people that ve knew, and not these perfect versions that ve wanted to be. There were people waiting for Linh, and who knew how long they’d been waiting for ver to finish ver scenario?

“I reject this reality,” ve declared. “Take me back to the scenarios.”

[Are you sure that this is what you want?]

"Yes."

•~•~•~•~•~•

In the forty fifth scenario, things changed once more. It was a fight against Disasters who were attempting to attack the area. To ver surprise, the Disasters didn't fight immediately. Ve kept ver guard up.

But then Tam froze.

"What happened?" Sophie asked.

"Keefe…" he breathed.

What?

"That's Keefe?" Biana asked, asking the question that nobody else dared to ask.

They'd all held on to hope, and hope kept fighting, but three years of fighting was enough to wear them all down. They all wanted him back, but after three years, they began to no longer exist. The return of Keefe was something that could only happen in their fantasies.

Tam wasn't the type of person to say something like this without any reason. If this gulon-shaped Disaster really was Keefe…

The Disaster stood still, almost like it was trying to convince that it was really him.

"It is, it has to be him," Fitz said. "I believe it's him."

Ve and ver friends all stood still for a moment, until Fitz took a step closer. As he carefully approached the Disaster, the others—save for the newcomers Maruca, Stina, and Jensi who were understandably wary, and Tam, who was still frozen—stepped closer too. Fitz slowly put his hand on the Disaster's head, and it began to glow a bright yellow, and once it faded, there was a blond haired man looking at them with relief in his eyes.

"Everyone, back down," Keefe said, and both ver group and the other Disasters relaxed.

[You have cleared the 45th scenario!]

Ve stared at him. Was this real, and not a dream? Had their hope truly been worth it?

Keefe was… Keefe was back, after three long, excruciating years.

Fitz practically tackled Keefe, then Biana, and Linh couldn't help but join the tackle-hug pile, because things were going okay , ver heart was so filled with warmth and gratitude.

"How?" Tam asked from afar, one of the few to not join their little pile.

"I told you Bangs Boy, I'll see you again," Keefe replied, and Linh smiled at the nickname that ve hadn't heard in a long time. "Besides, what's the point in knowing the future if I was just gonna let myself die?" Then, his voice went softer. "I never meant to take this long to return, you can blame the Star Stream for that."

"You're back, like, for good, right?" Marella asked.

"That's the hope, yeah."

[The constellation, Lady Of The Darkest Depths is relieved!]

[The constellation, Creator Of The Eternal Flame welcomes Keefe Sencen back.]

[The constellation, One Who Seeks The End nods.]

•~•~•~•~•~•

They all spent a long time with Keefe, catching him up on all the things that had happened in his absence, but he and Tam were practically inseparable. With the way they constantly sat next to each other, Keefe laughing at Tam's expense and Tam rolling his eyes and hiding a fond smile, ve would have assumed that they talked out their feelings.

Then abruptly, he closed himself off again. Keefe tried to get his attention, but Tam brushed him off with curt replies and his posture was really stiff compared to how it had been recently.

"I didn't think you were the type to handle a rejection so badly," Linh told him. "I thought you loved him enough that whether his feelings were romantic or not didn't matter."

Tam closed his eyes, let out a breath, then opened them again. His fists were clenched. "It's not—I still don't know what I feel towards him. But right now, I'm angry, and I'd rather not lash out at anyone. I already know what I need to do."

"What happened?"

"I don't want to talk about it. Not until I have all the answers."

"But you're mad at Keefe." Not a question, but a statement.

"Yes," he said, and ve wondered what happened between the two of them that made Tam like this. "Once the next scenario is over, everything will be resolved."

It sounded almost like a promise, and ve was afraid to know what he meant by that.

•~•~•~•~•~•

The next scenario had to have been one of the easiest scenarios that Linh had ever done. Vaguely, Linh remembered that this was the scenario that had caused Tam to regress last round. But after Keefe said to not touch the Star, ve and Marella just sat in the room they had been teleported in to for three hours.

When they were let out, the other groups were teleported to their meeting point, and Linh saw how calm Tam looked, he was smiling and holding on to Keefe's hand. Keefe wasn't smiling though.

"Tam, I should tell them. I don't think they'll react any worse than you did."

"I was justified in my reaction, and you know it."

"You almost—"

"Tell us what?" Ve cut in, because ve knew that they would just argue and whatever they wanted to say wouldn't be said.

The two traded a look and went quiet. "We should sit down for this."

Keefe sounded uncharacteristically serious, and the others recognized it too, so they all followed him go an area that they could sit down.

"Ugh, Bangs Boy, how do I even say it?" Keefe muttered. "I wasn't even the one to tell you."

"Just say it."

"Most of the people in this group are characters from a comic I read called Knowledge Of Techniques to Live in a Calamity."

"Wait, you're actually telling them?" Sophie asked. "The filtering wore off too?"

Tam turned to glare at her. "You also read it?"

Sophie pursed her lips. "Yeah, just not all the way like Keefe did."

"What are you talking about?" Marella asked. "Characters— what?"

"There's this comic I read before the scenarios started," Keefe explained, "and in this comic, there was the Star Stream and a lot of you in it."

"So you're saying…" the words caught in Linh's throat, and surely ve was hearing things. "We're… fictional characters?"

Keefe nodded sagely. "Everyone her except for me, Sophie, Biana and Fitz."

"Fictional characters," Dex repeated, "what the f*ck."

Linh didn't believe what ve was hearing. "Is this some kind of joke?"

But Tam wasn't saying anything, he wasn't shocked like the rest of them.

"Tam, you knew too?"

"I learned just a few days ago," he explained.

"Can we go back to the fictional characters part?" Marella asked, running a hand through his hair. "You're telling us that everything that has happened is from some comic? The entire Star Stream , the scenarios, everything that has happened?"

Keefe nodded.

Linh's mind was spinning. "What does that mean for us? Who are we in this supposed comic? What is it about?"

"It's about me," Tam replied. "I am the main character, and it's about my regressions."

Linh took a deep breath, ve was shaking, and ve wasn't sure from what emotion it was. "So we're just characters? You read the story and allied with us because we're characters?"

Keefe closed his eyes. "At first, yeah."

"So you saved my life solely because I was a character?" Marella asked, dangerously calm.

"No, you were never in the comic."

Everyone kept firing questions at him, his plans, if everything was intentional, why certain decisions were made. There was one question that Linh wanted to ask.

"What does it all mean? Did our struggle ever mean anything if it was all just a story?"

The first scenario when Linh killed so many, struggling to live on until ve was forced to confront the Disaster Of Floods. Were they all just plot points? Ve twirled a stray lock of silver hair around ver finger, wondering if this choice that ve had decided on ver own was ever actually ver own choice. Did anything they did ever matter? Did their choices mean anything when they were living a life written by pictures and words displayed on a screen?

"Every single one of my regressions has been in that story," Tam said. "But not this one. Even then, we are all here living, we are breathing at this moment. Even if this moment now is just another set of words to a story, we are here, and this is our life. Our lives shouldn't need to have any meaning to someone else, the only person they should matter to are ourselves, because we are the only ones living it out."

"If it helps," Keefe murmured, "your lives did mean something to me. Without you, I wouldn't be here. And you all… you all are different from the comic."

"Are we different, or are you learning to see past the label of a character?" Tam mused. "We act differently according to the circumstances, I know this better than anyone. I'm not stupid enough to think that this much is enough for me to understand them completely."

"I'm so not going to get used to this," Marella muttered. "Wait, Tam, how did you even find out if Keefe wasn't the one to tell you?"

Tam looked up at the sky. " One Who Seeks The End told me. I don't know how they know, but I know they wanted to create a rift in the group."

"I thought they supported us?" Dex asked, confused.

Linh was just as confused. There had to be more to it than that.

•~•~•~•~•~•

"I want to ask you both something," Linh said.

"Is it about the whole character thing?" Keefe asked, scratching his neck. "I guess I wouldn't be too surprised if you really were mad at me for keeping it a secret. But uh, why bring Bangs Boy?"

Tam looked at ver silently, and ve wondered if he figured out what ve wanted to ask.

"Is this why Tam and I can't remember our past? Is it because we were created as characters? Tam was created to be a Regressor , I'm assuming, and because I'm his twin, I share that lack of memory issue."

"I guess it would be," Keefe replied.

"And there's nothing about my time before I was a Regressor , during the original turn of the scenarios?" Tam asked.

Keefe shook his head. "Nope, nothing. Nothing about your sponsor and original life."

It felt like there should have been more, something more to explain the blankness that came from thinking of a childhood, but… that was it. There was that answer that ve had wanted, even if it wasn't the one that would leave ver satisfied.

There were still too many things to figure out. Why was the comic made? How did the creator predict everything? Or was it more complicated than that, and the author wasn't prophesying everything, but recounting it to those who were willing to read it? Who even was the creator? They had to know more of the answers to Tam's regressions, because they wrote the story.

They wrote down every struggle that had broken each of them down time and time again, the author had written their deaths, but in this one, in this unwritten chapter of their lives, they were still living and breathing.

"We've got a long way to go, right?" Linh asked.

Both Tam and Keefe nodded.

"We just need to keep going then."

Keep going until they found the answers. Until they found the ending to the scenarios and the apocalypse. For that, they could continue living, continue making their choices. Linh prepared verself for what was to come next.

•~•~•~•~•~•

KOTLC Taglist: @keefeinnit @impostertamsong @my-swan-song @subrosasteath

Want to be added/removed from the taglist? Just let me know!

#linh song #marella redek #tam song #marellinh #kotlc #keeper of the lost cities #kotlc fanfiction #ravi writes a thing #open up my heart (and let my feelings fly free)

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aimwigs · 4 months

Note

Spread love to fanfic writers!

Answer these questions about your fanfics then send this to 5 other fanfic writers

Name a fic you loved writing the most.

Name a fic that others loved but you didn't care for as much.

Name a fic you had the most fun writing.

Name a fic that you are the most proud of.

Name a fic that you wish had gotten more recognition.

Name your happiest/saddest/most comedic fics!

this is so fun ty for sending it 🫶 i’m just gonna do my yard fics obv. under the cut bc it got kinda long

loved writing most: probably make me laugh (and kiss me back) bc that was like when i first got super into the pod and ifl i wrote it in a feral state probably in a few days total. there’s always some magic abt the first fic you write for a fandom (although there was another fic i started earlier that im still half convinced i’ll finish someday)

others loved that i didn’t care for as much: this one is hard because i think of all my yard fics that did well im also pretty happy with how i wrote them. like the dad lud ficlets aren’t my peak writing but they didn’t do particularly well either (which like idc im not putting my all into them). i suppose the way you kiss me will work each time not because i dislike it bc i don’t im def happy with it i just think my after the date part could have been stronger

most fun to write: so much for "making it" for sure because i looove esports and it’s fun to write different dynamics and shit

most proud of: see your light shine for sure! i think the first half of this fic is the best thing ive ever written so far

wish got more recognition: across the stars but i get it’s niche i just love that au and hope to write the full multichap sequel someday when i have the focus to crank it out

happiest: a new chapter aka the new baby ficlet that shit is straight fluff

saddest: okay i think curse words and empty cups is hard to pin for any of these because so much happens in the fic and obviously i wrote it over the course of a month and a half so a lot was happening w my writing process but i think the saddest scenes ive written were probably in this fic, probably specifically in chapters 3 & 5

most comedic: probably also see your light shine. might be recency bias bc i’m rereading it but i think the banter i wrote between the four of them is electric

#this had me also glancing at my wips i wish i could finish all of them at once <- guy who wrote 2k of a new one yesterday #answered #anonymous

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morningstargirl666 · 2 years

Note

wait omg I would never forget my absolute fav so director's cut on Into Eternity🤍 thank youuuu

[nervous laughter]

So this has been in my inbox for a while (I'm really very sorry I completely forgot about it I feel awful)

I actually avoided it for a while because Into Eternity actually is my least favourite fic I've written... which is weird, since a lot of people like it? I think I mentioned to you I believe its because the fic is literally 11k of domestic fluff with a dash of angst, and not the other way around (I crave chaos and tragedy its unfortunately a problem). It's either that, or its because I feel it was written in a rush, and therefore isn't really my best work, and every time I read the first half I cringe in pain at the lack of world building. What can I say: I'm a gall who likes details and perfection 🤷‍♀️

Eh, maybe I'll edit it someday.

Now, moving on, Into Eternity was written for @lynyrdwrites for the summer exchange, and since it was my first exchange I like, kind of panicked and made her two gifts? I made her some edits which she asked for, but that only took me a few hours so it felt so inadequate for some reason and my anxiety was hella high in the summer so yeah... I panicked. And the thing was, when I was looking into ideas such as valkyries (a creature Lenna requested if I did a creature au) I stumbled across the quote “��ú getur lyft hammanum mínum hvenær sem er, ef þú veist hvað ég meina” which meant "You are my Valkyrie, and I would follow you across the nine realms and into eternity”.

And that was just so powerful to me? Like it resonated with me so much and it was such a Klaroline quote, with the same amount of energy as however long it takes. And so, I started brainstorming, and I remember at the time I was reading a lot of Lucifer fanfic, and one of the common tropes in the fandom is that Lucifer speaks Enochian, and he says I love you to Chloe in that ancient holy language long before he gains enough courage to say it in english, a language she can understand. And basically I remembered thinking with mischievous grin there's something I can do with this...

So I came up with a plot bunny. Shared it with some peeps. They all started bawling their eyes out with me because the idea was so freaking wholesome, and then I wrote the ending scene first. And then made myself cry - which kind of made me believe I was onto something there. So I continued writing, telling myself if I didn't finish it, it was ok cause I had the edits to give to Lenna anyway.

I wanted it to be from Caroline's view, but not necessarily the Caroline we know. An older, wiser Caroline Forbes whose probably roamed the planet for over a century before she shows up at Klaus' door. And I also wanted to show that their relationship was realistic, that it had a honeymoon period which was quickly followed by arguments before they truly became comfortable with each other and the new relationship they were in.

(again, I crave chaos ok - happily ever after is so boring)

I also wanted both Caroline and Klaus to shine, to show how stubborn and strong both of them are, not just one or the other. And then I sprinkled in some fluff, some angst, some Mikaelson shenanigans and turned it into something I hoped happened post-canon, if Caroline had finally shown up at Klaus' door wanting to see the world and everything he had once offered to show her in a small town in Virginia.

I considered doing a part 2 - the chapter from Klaus' POV, with moments where he realised he loved Caroline, when he started saying Ég elska þig into her hair or even to himself under his breath, perhaps including the canon scene from when he bites her. Because obviously he knew long before Caroline did that he would be her last love. However long it takes.

No idea if I'll ever get around to doing it, but its fun to think about all the same!

#directors commentary #into eternity #morningstar writes #klaroline #klaus x caroline #my anxiety is a pain in the arse #but sometimes it churns out fics like this #and it actually does some good #i still worried way too much about it #and it actually put me off doing exchanges #but my anxiety is a little more under control now so hopefully I'll give another a go in the new year sometime

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angellesword · 3 years

Text

SAVE ME | KTH (09)

Summary: You were determined to kill yourself, but what would happen when instead of ending your life, you ended up summoning the devil of death?

Alternatively:

The Devil: I’m here to ruin you, I’m here to save you.

Genre: Demon au, e2l, angst, fluff, roommate au

Pairing: Devil!Taehyung x Doctor!Reader

Word Count: 3k

Warnings: bullying (verbal and physical) blood, mention of demons’ power, death (heart attack)

SERIES: CHAPTER 8 | CHAPTER 10

*unedited*

*** i bet you’re not expecting this update!! ahhh i just want to finish this fic before my birthday!!! wish me luck bc i have less than a month to do so!

Your father was the person who taught you the meaning behind some Korean names.

It was some sort of bonding you two did when you were still a kid. The most memorable part was when your mother told you that she was pregnant, thus giving you the opportunity to choose a name for your baby brother.

Of course your father helped you decide. He told you different names and its meanings.

Jeongguk. This was what stuck to you the most. It meant center of the country. The moment you had heard about this, you instantly knew it was the perfect name for the unborn brother.

Jeongguk was meant to shine, to be the center, not just of the country, but of the whole world.

But you failed him.

You failed when there was a very short period of time where you were supposed to be making him the center of your attention.

And so now you reap the harvest of your failure.

Jeongguk was now the center of your life, the main reason why you were stressed out.

"Thanks for letting me know.” You clutched the phone near your ear tighter. "I'll be there soon." It took a lot of energy to say this, but you had to.

It had been months since Jeongguk started living in your apartment. You took him in despite his antipathy. Like hell you'd allow him to go back to his old house.

A house full of liars and users.

Jeongguk wasn't lying when he said your father died of heart attack. Your brother only told you about this weeks after the burial.

Everything had been taken care of. Your aunties, the siblings of your father, paid for all the expenses, but they were demanding to be reimbursed now.

Jeongguk also said that your aunties sold your father's house so now he had no choice but to live with them, but to do so, he first needed to pay for the amount of money they spent for your father’s burial.

Nothing was free. This was what they claimed. The money Jeongguk owed them had interest as well. Aside from this, your aunties also told Jeongguk that he had to pay for his share in rent and utilities monthly. If he couldn't do this, then he wouldn't be allowed to live with them.

Jeongguk begged your aunties to give him some time. It was obvious that he didn't have money, mainly because the siblings of your father took all of his assets.

Your brother felt helpless. He considered living on the streets, but then your aunties told him to go to you. You inherited a lot of money and rumor had it that you leeched off of your rich boyfriends for their wealth.

Jeongguk had been through a lot that was why you couldn't really blame him when did bad things—his way to destress.

"What did he do this time?" But Taehyung wasn't having any of it.

He already knew that Jeongguk got in trouble as soon as he spotted you looking for your car keys, face pale because of trepidation.

You were probably going to wherever the hell Jeongguk was. This had been your new routine ever since the younger boy moved in with you.

You had no idea how many times someone called you to inform that your brother was in trouble.

"The principal called. Jeongguk's in the disciplinary room.”

"Ah," the devil chuckled, bringing the magazine he was reading down on his lap. "Let me guess, catfight?"

"Don't call it that," you gritted your teeth. "This is serious, Tae. We need to go now.”

Although you couldn't say that Taehyung was entirely wrong. The principal explained that the reason why Jeongguk was brought to the disciplinary room was because he beat up his classmates.

You didn't have the chance to ask why since the only thing that was in your mind was your brother's safety.

You were certain you're going to lose your mind if you didn't seem him now.

Fortunately Taehyung realized that you weren't playing around so he did everything in his power to help you.

You couldn't deny that his presence was needed. You had seen his efforts to help you 'raise' Jeongguk.

He didn't look like the devil you knew. It was as though he turned into a person, someone who was simply looking after you because he cared.

Taehyung was no longer punishing you for trying to kill yourself back then, but maybe his reason was because you didn't really have the time to think about suicide now.

As stated, all you wanted to do was help your brother. You were trying to show him how sorry you were because he had to experience horrible things because of you.

It wasn't easy though. You felt like Jeongguk was going out of his way just to spite you. This was evident when you heard his response as to why he beat up two of his classmates.

"They're making fun of my satoori accent.”

You facepalmed. You couldn't believe he was capable of hurting people because of something like this. Jeongguk grew up in Busan and it had only been months since he transferred here in Seoul to study and live with you.

It was natural to still speak with satoori accent. Jeongguk should have just let it go and no—you were not siding with his enemy. They bullied your brother, but then Jeongguk's action was worse.

The two boys he beat up weren’t doing well. The blood on their faces said so. Your stomach was actually turning upside down just by looking at them.

You felt so bad.

But feeling bad wasn't enough.

You knew you had to face the consequence of Jeongguk's action.

No more running away.

"I'm sorry." Your lips trembled as you look at the parents of the victims.

Before they could speak, you already force Jeongguk to get on his knees.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Jeongguk screamed at you, yet you ignored him.

You held Jeongguk down, still forcing him to bow down. You were doing the same thing. Your knees hurt, but it didn't matter.

"Apologize to them, Jeongguk." You whispered to your brother.

He was struggling to remove your hand that was placed on his shoulder, the same hand that was forcing him down.

"I didn't do anything wrong!" Jeongguk was glaring at you.

This whole situation was like a slap in your face. You were forcing Jeongguk to do the things you didn't do when you hurt people in the past.

You could see yourself in him, but he didn't get the protection you had before.

Your mother tolerated your misconduct; you weren’t planning on doing the same.

"Apologize or you won't be getting your share." You whispered with force again.

Jeongguk's gaze darkened.

"You wouldn't dare."

"You very well know that I have the means to cut you off, Kookie." Your menacing tone was enough to send shiver down his spine.

You always got what you wanted. Jeongguk knew he would lose if he defied you.

It was better to say sorry to these dipshits rather than lose his share. He couldn't let you take away everything from him again.

So with his jaw still tensed, Jeongguk slowly turned to the parents of his enemies.

"I'm sorry." His heart was clenching as he said this. It was so difficult. "It's my fault so I'm willing to face the consequence of my action."

To face the consequence of my action. This was something you didn't get to do, yet you knew how painful it was to be the bigger person.

If you wanted, you could simply pay these people to let Jeongguk off the hook, but as stated, you wouldn't do that.

Jeongguk had the chance to be the person you should have been.

This was the right thing to do. The mistake must end with you.

"Don't think for a second that we'll forgive just because you apologized." One of the victim's parents glared at you. "You're a piece of shit. You are raising a monster!"

That was the last straw for Jeongguk. He was about to attack the parent, luckily Taehyung was able to stop him.

Your heartbeat doubled. You knew Jeongguk's action would drive them even madder, and so you bowed even lower, almost kissing the floor.

"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry!" You cried.

Taehyung came to know that you were just distracting the parents, so he did what he thought you wanted.

He dragged Jeongguk out of the room before he hurt anyone else.

"My brother and I won't run away. Please. We're sorry!" You crawled until you were just inches away from the parents.

You clasped your hands together, looking up.

Never in your entire life did you imagine doing this, but this was the least thing you could do for Jeongguk.

And so somewhere between sobs and the principal asking you to stand up, you managed to bargain with them. You were going to accept what they wanted, provided that they wouldn't be pressing legal charges against your brother.

They only agreed with this term because you didn't budge when they claimed they wanted Jeongguk to be expelled from this school. This was his punishment. Moreover, you had to pay for the medical expenses of the kids.

That was the end of discussion. You immediately ran out of the room to meet your brother and Taehyung, unfortunately you couldn't contact the both of them.

You didn't know, but Taehyung used his power to teleport him and Jeongguk to your apartment.

Taehyung didn't have much of a choice since the younger man kept on struggling to get away.

At least the action shut up Jeongguk for a short while.

"W-Wait!" To say that he was surprised to witness (and experience) Taehyung's teleportation ability would be an understatement.

Jeongguk was actually flabbergasted.

"I—we..." The younger boy's jaw drop, he blinked rapidly as he examined the place.

He wasn't tripping. He was definitely inside your apartment.

"How did this happen? W-What are you?" Jeongguk was panicking.

He liked to act tough; however he was still a boy. He couldn't fight someone like Taehyung, especially now that he had seen what this devil was capable of doing.

"Ah, it's simple." Taehyung flashed his boxy smile, completely unaware of the fear he was causing Jeongguk to feel.

"I'm the devil. I can do all kind of things—" he showed off more by levitating.

Jeongguk felt like he was going to pass out.

What the fuck.

But Taehyung was not done yet.

Still floating, Taehyung moved closer to your brother. The latter couldn't step backward since his back was already resting against the wall. Besides, he was too stunned to even move.

"—including this," without a warning, Taehyung touched the corner of Jeongguk's lips.

The seventeen year-old boy could only watch as the devil's hand sparkled.

Jeongguk felt strange at first, but then he could feel his bruise and scratches healing.

The two boys who bullied him still managed to throw some punches. It hurt and as seen, it bruised.

"There." Taehyung broke into a much bigger grin. "You look brand new."

Jeongguk touched his face. It didn't hurt anymore.

"A simple thank you would do." The devil's lips protruded into a pout when Jeongguk simply stared at him, saying nothing.

Minutes passed. Taehyung was actually done preparing hot cocoa for him and Jeongguk, yet the latter was still frozen on his spot.

"Why?"

Taehyung was expecting your brother to express his gratitude now that he mentioned how he wanted Jeongguk to say thank you, but your brother was exactly like you—always saying the wrong things.

"What do you mean why?" Taehyung handed the younger boy the cup of cocoa.

Jeongguk took it because he was freezing. It was cold outside and he couldn't deny that he was still a bit shaken after witnessing some bizarre...things.

"You said..." Jeongguk gulped. "You're the devil, so why did you heal me? Why are you helping me?"

Taehyung's brow shot up. Huh. His similarity to you was uncanny.

"That's your concern?" The devil shook his head, there was a smile on his lips. He thought Jeongguk was going to ask why he was lying, or why devils exist—things normal people asked.

"No, it's not," Jeongguk sighed, finally moving around. He paced back and forth after placing the hot cocoa on the table.

He scratched the back of his head as he stared straight into Taehyung eyes.

"I have a lot of concerns, okay!? I don't know why my sister's suddenly acting like she cares, I don't why I feel indifferent when I should be mourning the death of my father! I don't know how you managed to teleport! I'm—"

"Hey..." Taehyung touched the either side of Jeongguk's shoulders, forcing the younger to look at him.

"It's okay. You're okay..."

The devil figured that your brother was having a panic attack. He was probably so overwhelmed with everything that was happening. It didn't help that Taehyung surprised him by revealing his true identity.

Taehyung was such an idiot.

"I'm just so confused." Jeongguk managed to whisper. Tears filled his eyes.

Taehyung helped your brother sit on the couch. He was telling Jeongguk to breathe.

It took a while, but the younger boy managed to steady his breathing. Taehyung gave him more time to calm down before speaking again.

Both of them were sitting on the couch. Jeongguk was staring into the space while the devil was looking directly at your brother.

"I guess I really caught you off guard, huh?" Taehyung chuckled softly. He was carefully observing Jeongguk's expression.

"Were you telling the truth?" Your brother turned to look at Taehyung, which the latter didn't expect. He nodded nonetheless.

Taehyung was selfish. He said things just because. He never cared about what others would feel, but he learned fast. He realized that he shouldn't have revealed his identity just like that.

But he couldn't lie now, could he?

"It's true. I'm a devil." He smiled sheepishly. "The devil of death."

Jeongguk sucked in a breath. He tried to remember if he smoke pot today, but he didn't.

There were only two probable reasons why this was happening.

First: he was going crazy.

Second: Taehyung was telling the truth.

"You can ask your sister about me if you want. She knows."

Jeongguk sucked in a breath once more.

"If you're telling the truth...then...why..." He didn't know if he could question the devil.

Jeongguk was scared of his answer.

"Why did I heal you when I'm supposed to destroy you?" And so Taehyung completed the younger boy's question.

Jeongguk bit the inside of his cheek, nodding.

"It's a long story so I'm just going to tell you one thing.”

For some reason your brother nodded. He was captivated by the devil too. The same feeling you experienced when you first met Taehyung.

"Everything changes, Jeongguk." The devil uttered seriously. "Be it because of a person, experience, or even thing."

Taehyung laughed when he pointed at himself.

"Just look at me. Who would have thought that the devil of death would end up healing a mere mortal like you?"

Temporary, permanently, good change, bad change.

At the end of the day, it was still a change. This change would still affect something that could last forever.

"So yeah," Taehyung clasped his hand together. "I know it's ironic for me to say this, but there's goodness in every person. The one who hurt you before is probably out there, doing everything they can to help you."

Jeongguk knew exactly what Taehyung was talking about. He wasn't really being subtle about it. He used they, yet he was referring to you.

"I'll take that in mind," this was all your brother could say before retreating to his temporary bedroom.

Moments later, you arrived.

"Whoa.” The devil grimaced upon seeing your face.

You looked awful. Your hair was a mess and your eyes were bloody red. You were also shaking. It was cold outside.

"I-Is Jeongguk here? Is he safe? Did you treat his wounds? Do we need to bring him to the hospital—"

"Calm down, Barbie." Taehyung laughed, taking your cold hands to warm them up.

"Your brother is fine," he brought your hands closer to his lips, blowing hot air on them. "I may or may have knocked some senses into him."

You weren't sure about that. Jeongguk was a tough cookie. He had a rough childhood because of you.

"You didn't coerce him, did you?" You crinkled your eyes and Taehyung gasped dramatically.

"What do you take me for?" He tightened his hold on your hands. "I don't do what is not needed, you know?"

"Right." He was clearly talking about what he had to do back when you met Cha Eun Hye at the hospital.

"Jeongguk is sleeping now. I treated his wounds. Don't worry," he winked, though he didn't tell you that he used his power to heal your brother.

He didn't want you to freak out, especially because you seemed...tired.

"Thank you." You sincerely said.

You couldn't imagine this day without Taehyung by your side.

"No worries." The devil licked his bottom lip; his soft eyes made you feel like you were floating in the air.

You had never seen him this calm. The aura surrounding him felt refreshing.

He was still holding your hands.

"—you know I'll do anything for you," Tae continued and suddenly, you no longer felt like you were flying. Right now, you felt as if your heart was sinking deeper and deeper that you thought it was better to just let go and get lost in the abyss of his golden eyes.

You knew he was only saying this because your lives were connected, but the past months didn't feel like an act.

It felt real—like his intention wasn't a selfish act.

You realized that it didn't matter, not when you wanted to be selfish too. Today, you wanted to indulge on his warmth, to the comfort he gave.

And so you embraced him.

The devil didn't hesitate.

He hugged you back.

#ficswithluv #kim taehyung #taehyung angst #taehyung fluff #taehyung roommate au #taehyung roommate #devil taehyung #demon taehyung #taehyung devil au #taehyung demon au #taehyung fantasy au #taehyung fanfic #taehyung x you #taehyung x y/n #taehyung x reader #taehyung x oc #angel jimin

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