#didn't try out for anything in middle school b/c a) nervous. no experience; it's middle school. i don't have a great time w/Peers.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

love my own like theatrical relationship to shakespeare which is a) being so slow to realize like "oh, i've loved theatre? everyone doesn't just feel this way & go 'of course acting onstage would fucking kick ass' & adore rehearsals and hanging around backstage and in greenrooms and changing and performing & etc?' never really occurred to me" and b) my response to most encounters w/shakespeare being "wha" when it comes to anything granular yet the relevance still in the spirit of things lol

namely one prominent example being i was an on campus college student where said campus has a shakespearean theater literally three blocks away, and we had like a freshmen orientation weekly class there doing shit with actors and checking out the theater, not to mention like punchcards to see four shows free (to write up about afterwards but yeah sure whatever) and this wherein also you always got student discount tickets And there were pwyw performances....kicked ass. i went there for shows so many times. i have never fucking known what tf is going on in any of the like dozen shows i saw there when a) audio processing can be tricky enough for real life modern vernacular parsing and b) sure am not used to ye old very stylized language nor any other qualities of shakespearean material so lots of times when i finally started to kind of acclimate to the language it would be like "oh wait that was the conclusion? ok. hoorayyyyy" like also c) You Have A Great Time Seeing Shakespeare Productions Anyways like again i loved going anytime. it's Theatrical and if people are just putting their damn backs into delivering and performing the material it's An Experience even if you're really not following lmfao. and i suppose one can read the text / familiarize oneself beforehand

also like my first and really one of my only like regular theatre performing experiences was my literature class in fourth grade doing a few scenes from julius caesar. i was so hype for getting cassius like one of the most prominent roles? a guy? an antagonist if you're caesar or dante??? oh Fuck yes. b/c of technical difficulties we got to perform it twice in a row when we did a field trip to some other school to perform our respective [scenes from various shakespeare plays] altogether. even back then i was way into it and cared about stuff like "we have like no Effects to make it that dramatic when we kill caesar. or like, non silent. bit awkward" and "also i like, don't know how to act and am just winging it. and of course, i'm also like 9" like in theory i do like to know How to do something vs trying to make it up myself. somewhat lol. a balance, who can argue w/that

beyond that there's also lots of things i just didn't quite realize "counted" lmfao like, when you're a theatre gay with a parent req'ing you go to church every week but you have a good time being in the choir....i was sure on those tenor harmonies & singing loud. and going relatively often to various live theatrical events, having an engaging enough time there, but also would've assumed anyone would be into it And that that's not really the same as actually being in them, of course. but that most of my firsthand experience was just sticking w/ballet for like a decade, and kind of live theatrical performance adjacency there. don't say shit, for years was effectively just like, an ensemble for the occasional performances, but even then it's like hoorayyy i Love rehearsing and being onstage and backstage and dealing w/costumes and coordination behind the scenes and shit. and eventually being like, a distinct individual character in shows, so despite again nobody saying shit you're still somewhat interpreting and doing whatever character work while also enjoying the bennies of [it's dance, so also it's choreographed]....even more clear like oh i love backstage and rehearsing and behind the scenes and onstage and putting together stage character makeup, and i don't mind tackling technical difficulties, and etc etc. didn't even necessarily have the reference like, idk, wouldn't / doesn't everyone feel similarly. classic ye old memory of like being idfk 7 or some shit simply getting to walk with classmates behind a backdrop to the opposite wing of a stage, and loving that lmao. combines a love for [backstage] and [secret passages] type deal lol, big fan of these elements

also in 7th grade doing a theatre/drama class for a few months and we couldn't really get like all this in depth extensive stuff b/c you know, intro course for like 8 weeks for rando middle schoolers, but idk it was just illustrative lmao like after julius caesar, us slapping together some kind of script and my getting to be this fun little theatrical(tm) antagonist guy again? feedback was "what was supposed to be happening" but could've stood to have learned that the enthusiasm and affinity i felt for acting onstage was perhaps indicative of enthusiasm and affinity for acting onstage rather than just, idk, the exact kind of baseline experience any & everyone would have lol. not that i would've necessarily had the chance to really do anything with that knowledge, but even now, ofc i don't particularly anticipate getting to use it, but it's great having that knowledge like ohhh i see. the entire time i've been huge into doing theatre with all these kind of adjacent & gently overlapping brushes with it. gotcha

[br-kker]

So You Won't Be Alone - S. "Eraserhead" Aizawa

Pairing: Shouta "Eraserhead" Aizawa X Reader (platonic/familial, gender-neutral).

Media: My Hero Academia

Content and/or Warnings: Panic attack, possible implications that the reader (gender neutral) has an anxiety/panic disorder, crying, language, stress, student and Aizawa hug (PLATONICALLY), Dadzawa, possibly OOC Aizawa.

(A/N: I want to mention that I am in no way a psychologist, nor am I an expert on this subject. I am merely speaking from my own experiences from my own anxiety. Did I mention this is completely platonic? It is merely a teacher helping a student come down from a panic attack. Don't interpret this as anything more than a platonic/family relationship. Thank you!)

It came so abruptly. It came with a cause, but no warning.

And, of course, it had to happen in the middle of fucking class. Let's pray to whoever that nobody notices.

If (Y/N) didn't want that, they shouldn't have gotten placed into Class 1-A.

They sat in the desk at the back, right by Mineta and Yaoyorozu. Everyone was off talking to whomever before class started. Except for (Y/N), who was trying to steady their mind by drumming their fingers on the desk.

(Y/N) knew that they were feeling off that day. In fact, they've known ever since they came to UA High. Being in Japan's top Hero school naturally comes with stress, but some people know how to manage it better.

(Y/N) was unfortunately not one of those people. The stress got to their head now more than ever, as they looked around frantically telling their mind to knock it off.

Mr. Aizawa walked into the class, "Alright, sit down. You've had your fun." he grumbled as the students rushed back to their desks.

'Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit!' (Y/N)'s mind screamed at them. Aizawa gathered a stack of papers and dropped the bottom of them on the desk. He did this a few more times to ensure the stack of graded assignments are perfectly aligned with each other.

'I'm toast!' They looked at their fellow classmates; some were a bit nervous, while most others were completely fine.

"When I say your name, come and get your test." He said, completely stone-faced. He looked at the students, keeping a close eye on (Y/N)'s figure.

"Sato. C-

Asui. B.

Kirishima. D.

Iida. A+

Kaminari..." Aizawa sighed, not needing to say the letter as Kaminari did the Walk of Shame up to his sensei.

"(L/N). See me in the hallway." (Y/N)'s eyes went wide as they got up and trembled their way into the hallway, meeting a cross-armed Aizawa.

Aizawa was studying (Y/N) throughout the class period, and he concluded very easily that they were screaming the signs of a panic attack. Their trembling figure and increased breathing is a dead giveaway that his student is currently fighting a battle in their mind.

And he'll be damned if he lets his student fight this battle alone.

Standing on adjacent sides of the hallway, (Y/N) was the one to speak up. "H-How b-bad?" They barely managed to say through their stuttering, cracking voice.

"That's not why I brought you out here. Is there anything troubling you want to talk about?" He asked, not necessarily asking what's happening at home, but of the conflict in their mind.

They frantically shook their head as tears ran down their reddened face, as if to tell the tears to stay in. Now hyperventilating, they slid down the wall and brought their knees tightly to their chest.

Aizawa crouched down to their level and placed his hand on their shoulder. Immediately, (Y/N) wrapped their arms around his neck and sobbed into the black abyss of his Hero outfit, holding on for dear life.

He wrapped his arms gently around their back and rubbed their back, much like a parent would for their kid.

"Hey, hey. I'm not going anywhere, but you need to settle down." He spoke in a comforting tone, much different than his stern voice. Aizawa looked at the clock and saw that class was going to end soon.

'Damn, why couldn't time stop for (L/N)?' He thought.

"Let's work on your breathing, ok? Repeat what I do. Inhale, 1-2-3. Hold it, 1-2-3. Exhale, 1-2-3. Good job." He still praised them, despite their breaths being very shaky.

"Let's redo those steps again." He repeated the breathing, with (Y/N) following along to the best of their abilities. After a few minutes of the breathing routine, (Y/N)'s breathing was still sporadic, but stable for the most part.

"Do you want to talk about what's on your mind?" They looked up, their eyes still glassy and their face red. They shook their head and wiped their nose on the sleeve of their school jacket while sniffling. He nodded, completely understanding. There's no doubt that there's snot on my clothes, Aizawa concluded.

"(Y/N), let me know when these things happen. I'll be here to help you." He said, pulling them in for another hug.

"I'll be damned if I let you fight this battle alone."

(A/N: Shoutout to my biology teacher for being the most awesomest fucking guy and letting me cry my eyes out in the biology lab. Yeah, this came to me after yesterday, when my first real friend in years graduated high school and that got me, y'all. I needed to write something, and I'm very pleased with how this turned out! The title comes from one of my favorite songs: "Indifference" by Pearl Jam. Such a gut punch, but it's fucking awesome. As I'm writing this, there is 140 updoots on my other Aizawa oneshot?! You guys are madlads, thank you so much!! I hope this brings some comfort to you guys, because who doesn't love Dadzawa?

Signing off for now,

-Libby)