#didnt wanna let this sit in my inbox when i had something for it. almost got lost to the drafts. buried under hundreds of posts

[cautionszz]

saw in your pinned that you take drawing requests and you should draw janecallieroxy...the yuri

this isn't very polished but here they are!!!

[wizkiddx]

worst case scenario part 5

finally!! so sorry its been an age to anyone still here but lives been interesting atm so....  also this really feels a bit rambley and the ending is deff underdeveloped but I just kind of wanted this done tbh x 

[previous part] [part 1] 

warnings:  hospitals - ICU, ventilation that sort of stuff, just a lot of ANGST post a difficult birth - please don't read if this could be upsetting for you, and my inbox is always open if u wanna chat :) 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In a complete 360 degree flip from earlier that day, after leaving the hospital Tom had become obsessively attached to Aurora. They’d got back to his parents place in Tom’s car; Aurora in the carseat Y/n and Tom had ready in their car door for her arrival. Clearly his parents had already pre-warned his brothers, who had thankfully already gone over to Tom and Y/n’s - collecting the Moses basket amongst other items Harry had been listed off from his mother. 

Apart from explaining a little behind her name to his parents on the journey back, Tom had spoken very little, choosing to keep himself to himself - physically stationing himself beside the Moses basket the whole time. Of course, there had been a bit of light conversation and almost procedural passing round of Aurora between all her uncles and grandparents, which Tom had kept a wether eye on - but ultimately not engaged. 

He also knew that physically his body was failing him. Although eating a little of the lasagne Sam had made for everyone, he could only stomach a minuscule amount, which did little to boost his energy levels. It felt as though sleeping was the enemy, because he was neither ready to leap into the car if the phone went; or to hear the smallest sound from the wicker basket, suggesting something was wrong. So as much as he tried to fight it, before even nine o’clock he began to dose off on the familiar couch of his parents sitting room - occasionally jerking himself awake before loosing the fight once again.

Nikki had tried to gently push him to take a break in the spare bedroom, which had been Tom’s before he’d moved out, but was unsuccessful - every time he retaliated with a stern shake of his head, while checking his phone just in case he’d missed a notification. Eventually Nikki relented, later in the evening both her and Dom retiring to bed; once Sam had agreed to stick around downstairs till a bit later - as a chef he worked till late in the nights, so even on his days off like today, his sleep schedule was just a little fucked. 

Left alone with his new little niece and now pretty firmly asleep brother, Sam draped a blanket over the latter just in time for Aurora to start fussing in the need of a bottle. His mum had explained how to do everything, how to mix the formula and heat it up, so after scooping up the little wriggling girl in the hope his brother wouldn’t get disturbed, Sam dealt with her. To be honest no matter how clueless and useless he felt, Aurora was just so cute - if a little wrinkly and alien looking, but in a good way. This was the first baby any of them had had, so the first time Sam experienced this instant connection and love for the little being that was his niece or nephew. It was terrifying, lifting the bottle against her lips for the first time, but then it just sort of seemed to work. She was incredibly smart for less than 24 hours old, instantly latching on, like she had done for Haz at the hospital. 

That gave Sam a little confidence in his ability as an uncle, giving himself a satisfied nod while swaying from the kitchen to move back into the living room. It was just a preference to be within reach of Tom… just in case. His poor brother still hadn’t moved, slumped against the corner of the sofa, leaning toward the now empty Moses basket. Normally, Sam seeing his supposed heart throb of a brother looking as rough as he did now - double chin, mouth hanging slightly open, deep sunken eyes - he would’ve taken a photo to blackmail him with. Now though, it was just desperately sad, seeing his brother like this, hand still clutching his phone tightly above the blanket. 

Rather hoping the calm would last for a while, Sam successfully finished off feeding Aurora; winded and then put her down to sleep again just in time. Because, perhaps expectedly, Tom’s phone began to blare off the default iPhone ringtone making Tom jump and throw the device across the room as he awoke with a start. Sam ran to grab it off the floor, mainly with the hope of turning it off before Aurora was awoken too - knowing that it was best tonight to tackle one thing at a time. 

And so he immediately swiped to answer the call, not even registering who the call was from, much rather just wanting the noise to stop. 

“Hello?”

“Sam? It’s Harrison” Tom had jumped up from his seat hovering beside Sam with petrified look. It took barely seconds for Tom to snatch the phone back, launching questions down the receiver. 

“Slow down would you? Y/n is fine I was just phoning to check in.”

“Oh er yeh… um sorry I just… just thought…”

“It’s the other way mate. Nurse says she’s starting to get there cos first she moved her arm a bit when we pinched her shoulder and then I just called because she started to like gag and now the ventilator thing is gone.”

“W-what?”

“I think she’s breathing by herself? Like she’s got an oxygen mask instead of the tubes down her throat.” Clearly Harrison was not, by any means, a medical expert. 

“They said she would have the ventilator for a few days at least.”

“I guess Y/n got bored? To be fair she couldn’t ever sit still.”

“I’m coming to you.”

“Tom it’s nearly midnight, I was supposed to be kicked out at 10. Just come back in the morning, they won’t let you in I’m pretty certain.”

“What if she wakes up!”

“Then they’ll call you! She’s getting better Tom you should be try and relax for like a second.”

“FUCK OFF HAZ! If she wakes up all alone and terrified then-“

“I’m not going to having a screaming match on the phone with you. I think we both know you wanting to come is more for you than for Y/n, because Y/n would want you to be looking after Aurora.”

Again guilt tripping using the newborn. Harsh but effective. Stopping Tom’s anger dead in it’s tracks.

“Look I can put the nurse on for her to tell you they won’t let you in and they’ll call if anything happens - but you already know that.”

“Yeh sorry fine … I know don’t bother.”

“Okay… I’m was gonna head back to my place and I know you’ve probably got your mum begging to fuss over Aurora but if-“

“Can you come?”

“Didn’t need to ask mate.”

And that’s how the night went. Until Harrison arrived at the Holland family home, Tom had spent the time pacing back and forth, blatantly ignoring the pleas of Sam just to sit down. Once he arrived though, going through all the updates in a lot more detail Tom seemed, for the first time, optimistic. By no means could you call him relaxed or happy - but compared to the rollercoaster that had been the last 24 hours, Harrison thought that was more than enough. Aurora had started fussing again at 1 but by the time it had turned into a full blown scream at Tom, Sam already had the bottle ready. It took a little bit of encouragement and promise that Tom would be able to feed her but actually, she instantly latched on, settled in her Dad’s hold while guzzling down the contents of the bottle. 

After a bit of winding she ended up falling asleep on her dads chest, only when he felt himself start to flag did Tom place her back in the basket. Harrison and him ended up crashing on the sofas, Sam retiring to his own room. Phone still tightly clutched in Tom’s grip.

////////////////////

The first thing Y/n became properly aware of was this intense heaviness all over her body. It felt as though her limbs were all composed completely of lead, meaning as much as she was just craving rolling over, it was as though her own body was holding her down. A very alien feeling that unsettled her slightly, trying to shake of the misty feeling in her head to work it all out. It took a while to drag herself out of the depths of sleep, to the point where background noise slowly faded in - an alien beeping as well as distant shuffling making her heart thump with unease. Finally, perhaps most distressingly , her eyes felt glued shut. Not because they were heavy, in the way someone extremely sleep deprived cant keep their eyes open; rather stiff like they hadn’t been used in so long they’d rusted over or something. 

The feeling  was quite horrific and isolating- as though she were locked into her body without an escape in sight. Whilst trying to calm her racing thoughts, Y/n chose to focus completely on the one thing she could do. She could listen. She listened to the beeps, focusing on the type of sound, the way it chimed so regularly; and it’s form. It was familiar, for that she was sure but for now at least she couldn’t place it. 

It felt like an investigation, trying with all her might to try and workout what the fuck was going on. To put it mildly. 

The most useful clue though, a breakthrough if you will, is when a voice sounded - clear and familiar. 

“Excuse me nurse?” It was Nikki. For sure. It was a clue, but didnt seem to make a hell of a lot of sense. Y/n was so focused on why the hell Nikki was apparently watching her sleep unconscious, she completely missed the reference to the nurse. As in hospital. As in Y/n was in hospital. “… I’m just going to swap out for my sons friend.”

“Harrison?” That voice seemed new and unfamiliar.

“Yes, he won’t be a second I’m sure.”

What was Harrison doing here too? 

It was all very confusing and hurt Y/n’s brain to try and unpick. Gradually then, everything sort of melted away, diving back into the darkness.

The next time Y/n woke up things were different. This time she woke up like she would at any time of day. She woke up and her eyes followed suit. Not particularly easily, since as soon as they cracked open she was almost blinded by brilliant white lights, it taking a build up of willpower before she tried it again - bracing for the pain. 

By now she knew something was wrong. She remembered all these patchy and hazy periods. All full of confusion and disorientation but with different voices keeping her at least semi calm. Familiar voices, all too often laced with such emotion. Especially Tom’s. She couldn’t remember what he had said, nor had she probably been able to understand it at the time - what stuck was the tone. The sadness, the hopelessness , the emptiness. 

It was scary. But it made her want to help. Made her want to open her eyes. 

After wincing at the dazzling white surroundings, Y/n blinked her eyes quickly, in an attempt to get them to adjust quicker. She saw an unfamiliar ceiling, one that was tiled in a similar way to her old school canteen. There was a  weird pressure round her mouth, eyes quickly darting down to see edges of a clear mask pressed up against the bridge of her nose. That wasn’t it though, the further she looked the more her eyes panned down this pale blue blanket, following the outline of her legs to the bottom raised edge of the bed. The hospital bed. 

Her hospital bed. 

As much as she wanted to jump up in panic; physically right now that was an impossibility. So instead, Y/n focused on trying to gleam as much information from the situation. It took a hell of a lot of effort, her muscles literally stiff and ridgid with disuse but with a small groan her neck eventually agreed to follow orders. Just a small tilt to the left and suddenly Y/n felt so much more less panicked. Everything was that bit less scary because there was Tom. 

Admittedly he didn’t look amazing, or even not bad. Tom was sat with his back pressed against the side of chair, so his body faced her. Had he not looked so ruined, Y/n would’ve laughed at the side of his face squashed into the back of the seat. But he did look horrific, for lack of a better word. His brown eyes were locked shut, but also looked puffy and red, while dark at the same time - as though he’d been attempting to gouge his own eyes out prior. He looked like he hadn’t slept in weeks, hence why he had appeared to have collapsed in the arm chair. At least though , he wasn’t in a hospital bed himself.

That was Y/n’s pleasure. 

Her next job was to get her neck muscles to pull her head to the other side. It was a slow wincing gesture, yet she was so aware of another presence that needed to be addressed too. But actually it was 3 people.

Right at the back, a nurse sat on a little spinny chair, scribbling something down in a file of papers but to be quite honest that wasn’t were Y/n’s focus zeroed in on. Instead on Harrison who was sat in chair mirroring Tom, except instead of being passed out asleep he was cradling a baby. Her baby. 

Y/n literally felt her heart in her throat at that point, eye widening almost comically. That was her baby - it must be? The monitors all started to loose their regularity as Y/n threw an uncoordinated limb to that side of the bed- already having realised her throat was way too scratchy to try to say anything comprehensible. 

Immediately that got the attention of both the nurse, who immediately leapt up and called for support, as well as Harrison - who looked like he was seeing a ghost. 

“Oh my-Y/n-?” Luckily he kept the baby safe in his arms rather than dropping her in shock, whilst Y/n kept her eyes locked onto the bundle in his arms. Nodding down, she tried to remove the mask (actually just very slightly knocking it to one side) and attempted to ask of the baby. Her throat, being inhumanly dry and scratchy, didn’t really work but Haz still got the message, scoffing in amazement. 

“Aurora… here’s your mummy.” Harrisons voice was quiet and wavering as he delicately held Aurora against Y/n’s collar bone, the babies little tuft of har tickingling her chin. Now Y/n was crying with happiness, looking up at Haz’s icy blue eyes and questioning her name. Harrison confirmed with another disbelieving whisper, whilst the arm that wasn’t still holding Aurora clasped Y/n’s hand with a death grip. “Tom’s choice.”

The mention of him had both of them shift their gaze across the room to Tom’s chair. Even with all the developments, Tom still seemed completely unaware, fast asleep with the side of his face squished against the back of the chair making his lips slightly askew. Y/n were acutely aware of the small congregation of doctors that had accumulated in the corner of the bay but they seemed to be respectfully waiting before they would prod and poke. Haz went to call Tom’s name, before he could though, Y/n squeezed his arm and minutely shook her head. That wasn’t what the blue eyes boy had been expecting, causing Haz to unfold and bring Aurora back up to his chest as he quirked his eyebrows at her.  

She didnt need to be filled in on the situation to know exactly what was happening. She had no idea why she was in the hospital bed; how long it had been since she’d given birth - but she knew all she needed to. From Harrisons unbelievably shocked face; and from the state of Tom - it hadn’t been good. Her fiancé looked almost ghostly, it seemed evident that he needed her. First then, she gestured to Haz for some water, which after a panicked look to the nurse; then from the nurse to various doctors; she was eventually given permission. 

After somewhat alleviating the sandpaper feeling in her throat, Y/n then croakily asked for a bit of privacy. Right now the doctors all were gawking, Harrison assumed it to be because they’d all led him and Tom to believe she wouldn’t wake up for a while- and even then she was supposed to barely be awake, not able to talk and drink or anything of the sort. With an ecstatic nod Harrison, shuffled out - while doing so prompting the medical people to draw the curtains completely shut round the bay.  

Already Y/n had tears welling up in her eyes, purely because she hated seeing him like this. He just looked so broken and shattered which honestly felt worlds worse than the labour she’d gone through. Her whole body still hurt, stiff and achy for reasons yet to be explained to Y/n. None of that mattered though, as she strained her arm out to the side in order to gently reach his knee that was folded up and sticking out awkwardly at an angle. After swallowing one again, Y/n squeezed round the joint and tried to shake it slightly. Instantly the man jumped up in his seat, heavy eyes blinking quickly and repeatedly as he tried to adjust to the room. 

Being so sleep deprived and stressed out, Tom’s brain was not working normally, instead with a delayed haze as he apparently skipped over Y/n in the bed, rather surveying the the closed curtains and Harrison’s now empty chair. As he was lifting himself to sit more normally up, uncurling from the armchair, was when he noticed the hand on his knee. Breath caught in his chest, Tom instinctively bit his lip as his eyes gradually traced up the hand, to the forearm, up to the shoulder. It felt like a fever dream, as though all it would take is for him to move and she’d slip away again. But there were her green eyes, gleaming in a way that literally lifted a weight from his shoulders. Her smile was tired and a little confused, but so her - after spending days of just seeing all her features lax, Tom swore that it was the most beautiful thing in the world.

Only when Y/n finally croaked out a small ‘hi’ did Tom gain awareness of his body, or rather control of it, enough to leap up and leave over the bed - cradling her face in both his palms. Like a psycho he stared intently, swapping his focus from her left to her right eye like a madman. 

“Your-I-I” He was trying to speak, trying to communicate all the thoughts and regrets of things he wished he’d said to her all at once. Weakly she reached up to fully remove the oxygen mask, dragging It down to below her chin, before squeezing his wrists in comfort. Only then did Tom notice the small puddle that had collected on her cheek, which made him realise he was absolutely bawling. 

“You ‘kay?” Her voice was like sandpaper but everything about her was so completely Y/n and it was just giving Tom this unreal wave of euphoria. Physically incapable of replying, the brunette just scoffed, leaning over the bed even more so he could press his forehead on hers. He was laughing too, the fact she was asking him that seemed so preposterous, given all the tubes and wires attached to her at the moment. It took Y/n squeezing his wrist harder again to make him lean back a little, searching her eyes with his. She seemed so worried; seemed so full of concern - only then did Tom consider quite how much he’d ‘let himself go’ the past couple of days. 

It had been two days since Aurora was born, only 48 hours. But the transformation was mad, none more so than mentally. 48 hours had quite literally changed everything for Tom; changed life forever and himself too. It was showing in his unshaven face, with unwashed  greasy hair, everything just looking ‘tired’.

“‘m just really glad your awake.” It was so honest and sincere it did have Y/n wondering what had happened and for how long. What had she put her fiancé through?

“How long?”

“The worst two and a half days of my life… I got you now though, yeh?” Tom whispered wetly, while stroking the side of her cheek - wiping both his and her tears away.

“Always.”

The doctors and nurses then came in, podding and poking Y/n like no tomorrow while Harrison and Tom stood back a little - excitedly grinning at each other and the sleepy girl Haz was cradling, before Tom stole her off him. There was a momentary sick-to-his-stomach feeling after some of the professionals had cleared, seeing her eyes shut again felt like everything was crashing around him. Thankfully though, one of doctors noticed the look of despair on his face, explaining to the two men that she was just asleep normally. That although sh’ed spent along time unconscious, waking from a medical coma is in itself exhausting. 

After the initial excitement of Y/n waking the next couple of days were pretty samey. She’d been moved down to a normal ward, no longer needed all the incessant bleeping machines but still had to stay in hospital. Tom found it tricky too, he just always felt he needed to be by her side ‘just in case’. In fact, it had been a source of a bit of tension between him and his fiancé - she could see how exhausted he was from looking after Aurora, plus the stress of being in the hospital for hours a day with her. As Y/n got better and more switched on to the state of him, she realised it was inevitable he’d crash at some point.

But after a week and a half in hospital - comprising of a baby, emergency surgery, 3 days on intensive care, followed by 8 on the ward - Y/n was discharged. Nikki and Dom moved in to Y/n and Tom’s place, to provide care support both for Aurora; and Y/n for the rest of her recovery; and secretly Tom for everything he’d been through. 

She was still order on bed rest due to her surgical scars, so Tom and Nikki helped to set her up in the master bedroom as soon as they got in. Of course, everyone was aware of Toms odd mood that day. Until then the only thing he wanted was to get his fiancé back at home with him but now she was over the threshold his excitement and joy appeared to have been zapped out of him. In fact, he’d barely uttered more than a couple sentences. So once Y/n was properly comfortable and Dom had brought Aurora and the cot into the room, Tom’s parents quickly made themselves scarce. 

Tom hadn’t stopped, finding some reason to rummage around in the chest of drawers m while Y/n chewed at her bottom lip, watching him. 

“Tom?” All she got in response was a light hum. “Tom please will you come and sit down for a minute?”

“I just need to-“

“Tom!” Her exclamation finally properly got Tom to listen, jumping round to face her. “Please... please will you just stop for a second?” Y/n’s eyes felt as though they were boring holes in his skull. Really, Tom knew he’d be forced into this at some point because he couldn’t avoid Y/n. She had some power of mind reading over him. So with a defeated nod and sagging shoulders Tom rounded the bed, weaving between his side and Auroras cot - where she was sleeping soundly. 

A silence overcame the room as he heavily planted himself on his side of the bed, mirroring Y/n’s posture leant against the headboard. 

“I think we need to have an honest conversation T.”

“If you want.” Nothing about his reply was the picture of enthusiasm, causing Y/n to hesitate a little. 

“Look I am so beyond grateful for everything you’ve done while I was in hospital... and it doesn’t take a genius to tell you’ve worked yourself half to death-“

“I’m fine-“

“Don’t lie to me. I know you’re trying to protect me but please... will you just talk to me? Honestly?” 

His reply this time wasn’t completely unforeseeable but it still shocked Y/n quite how quickly it happened, especially almost unprovoked. Because that’s all it took for Tom to break, for the past 2 weeks to get their vengance, for all the repressed emotion to escape. 

He was crying- well more accurately sobbing- into his hands, his back quaking. Naturally Y/n reached out to pull him into her side, suppressing the groan of pain as she moved a little too much for her abdomen to handle. “I’m here T. I got you and I’m not going anywhere m‘kay?” 

And that’s how they stayed, for at least 10 minutes, with Tom crying into her shoulder as Y/n rubbed up and down his back. Eventually though, everything did calm down and Tom repositioned himself to lean his head on her shoulder just facing forward and focusing on playing with her fingers, lacing them fingers with his. 

In all the time since she’d woken up, Y/n was yet to broach the subject of their babies name yet. She sensed it was a sensitive topic to say the least, so had thought it best to wait till they were properly alone - not in a ward of 6 strangers where the only privacy came in flimsy blue curtains. 

“So…. Aurora huh? Thought it was too airy-fairy, head-in-the-clouds for you?”  Smiling lightly, both of them were transported back to the pregnancy when they spent hours and hours bickering over names. Aurora had always been Y/n’s favourite but to Tom thought it was more a name for a hippy kid who went around clad in tie dye and bandanas. 

“Still is a bit...but I needed a bit of a miracle and Iceland was in my head. Plus I sort of accidentally word vomited while shouting at Haz, for being nice to me.” Iceland as in when Tom had proposed under the aurora borealis in the freezing sky - when Y/n had agreed, promised even, to be with him forever.

“But you like it?”

“Of course... mother always knows best after all.”

“I think it suits her too. One of your best choices to date, listening to me.” Y/n mused, earning herself a very delicate but still playful elbow in the side before the room drifted back to a much more comfortable silence. 

“We’re gonna get through this you know? Me, you and her, we’re together in this... I’m sorry I wasn’t in the beginning and I’m sorry I hurt you but now? I promise you got me and I’m not going anywhere…” Y/n needed to say it and needed Tom to properly listen. “ ...literally, I still cant walk properly.” Tom chuckled wetly at that, which made Y/n feel a lot better too. 

To be completely honest, Tom was still hurt and he knew it’d take some mending to move past everything. By no means did he blame Y/n in anyway but just the fact he was left alone and abandoned - well, it was the worst time in his life. The way Y/n understood that and had apologised to him - if completely unnecessarily- meant everything. Meant she would help him to heal... whilst he helped her too. 

“Can we just go to sleep? I need to wake up beside you in our bed not at tiny hospital one.” It was only 3 in the afternoon but because of Y/n’s medicine she was constantly drowsy and Tom? Tom was still in this permanent state of exhaustion. So it wasn’t so much of a weird request as it was on the face of it. With a nod, Y/n shuffled down on the bed a bit more resting her head against the top of Tom’s. It was exactly what they both needed, just a bit of peace with each other. 

That lasted all of 5 minutes before Aurora woke and started to scream. 

Life had most definitely changed. Especially for Tom. Because even though he was he was mentally and physically exhausted,  he only appreciated his daughters screams whole heartedly... because Y/n was there groaning with a tired smile too. They were in this together. 

~~~~

 I really hope the ending didnt disappoint too much, im aware its rushed as hell, but thank you for getting this far! And I hope maybe this series has done a teeny tiny bit to normalise not everything in pregnancy and child birth being perfect - that there is morbidity and mortality associated. Obviously this is all fictional (esp the amazingly quick recovery and lack of neurological/other impairments) and not medically accurate in the slightest !!

my inbox is always open :) t x

Tagging : @whitewolf51 

[botls]

seeing hadestown 9/29/19 - part one

under the cut is my take on act one of hadestown after seeing it. i didnt really do a play by play of what’s happening in every scene so this is kind of assuming that you have some previous knowledge of the show and focuses on on the cast and the little things they were doing. part 2 here. meeting the cast. meeting tlt cast. if you have more questions or are curious about anything else PLEASE come and ask me in my inbox or messages i could talk about this show for the rest of my life

road to hell:

andre came out and it was AMAZING he held the last note of road to hell for what felt like eight years and it was incredible and for the entire time eurydice and orpheus were STARING at each other with the most perfect awestruck looks on their faces and it was such an incredible shot i was like 🤧 already

during the music part eurydice and the fates all mimicked drumming against the drum box thing at the same time it was Cute

any way the wind blows:

when eurydice lit her candle and the third fate blew it out she whipped her head around to look at the fate who just kind of shook her head innocently like “it wasn’t me” and when eurydice turned back around to light it again she just smiled and shook her head at the crowd like “don’t blame me”

this happens a few times but for the first time at the beginning of this song the fates walk towards orpheus aggressively and he gets so scared and runs back and ouch the metaphor for him being afraid of his fate......no thank you

come home with me:

come home with me was so fucking cute reeve was ADORABLE

this entire song was Fantastic for like half of it orpheus and eurydice are sitting together on the table and orpheus’ little paper flower is so genuinely awful it’s kind of sad ajhsgsvska but it was cute they showed him working very hard on it over on the side of the stage

when eurydice says “oooh he’s crazy” it leaned MUCH more heavily on the side of “i get it now this man is legally insane why are we letting him walk around amongst us” with a much longer pause that included an intense stare between eurydice and hermes that made it even funnier than the obcr

the oh a liar and a player too line genuinely caused me to ascend its better in person than you could ever imagine genuinely out of this world and orpheus sounded SO nervous when he rushed out “ohnoimnotlikethat”

wedding song:

every time reeve or eva sang the word “trees” they like thrusted their hands up violently and so did the ensemble and it was so cute and funny and the part where the table comes up behind eva was so funny and different from london it was just kind of pushed up behind her and it seemed to startle eurydice and as she leaned back she just kind of had this “whatever i’ll go with it” face on but she was Alarmed lmao

eurydice was pushed by so many tables in this song omfg

i wanted to voice record it so bad but i kept forgetting bc i didn’t want to miss A Single Thing but this was the first song where i was really really like “i wish i had recorded this” eva’s voice was chefs kiss mwah and at one part where she sang table her voice was like. palpable and she was like rubbing her hands all over a table it was heavenly

after orpheus gives her the flower in this song she legitimately doesn’t let go of it for almost the entire first act like id always assumed that she put it in her hair or her pocket but she seriously clutches it like a lifeline for a significant part of the first act it was 🥺

epic 1:

it was so stunning nobody ever warned me that wedding song ended with orpheus on his knees and hermes was like interrogating orpheus about his song while orpheus was like holding on to eurydice to not fall bc he was awkwardly balanced and i honestly think that was just reeve and eva being reeve and eva and not being orphydice and it was so cute

the whole company follows orpheus with this song like wherever he walks or turns the whole company is turned towards him paying Attention

livin it up on top:

when persephone comes down with her bouquet of flowers she tosses them over her shoulder and timothy caught them and he looked so happy he spun around in one foot and smiled so wide at the audience before setting them down on the side it was precious

at the beginning of livin it up on top persephone gives eurydice her flask and eurydice smiles really wide and nods at persephone but when persephone turns around she just looks stressed like “wtf should i do with this now”

eurydice gets up and goes right to the side of persephone while persephone is singing and she looks like she’s waiting for something and you kind of assume that it’s to give back persephone’s flask but when persephone finally turns to her at the end of the verse eurydice rushes forward with the biggest smile and presents persephone with orpheus’ flower and persephone smiles so wide and takes it from her and puts it in her hair and it’s the first time eurydice doesn’t have the flower in her hand since she first got it and it’s such a tender and precious moment

right after putting the flower in her hair persephone put her arm around eurydice and when persephone said “some may say the weather ain’t the way it used to be” she turned to face eurydice and gave her a Pointed Look and eurydice literally turned to the audience and made this 😬 exact face i was peeing

when persephone was leaving the balcony she hugged hades from behind and kissed him on his cheek and then as she was leaving he sort of lifted his hand in a mini wave and she gave him the MOST disgusted look ever and waved her hand in what i can only describe as a “fuck off and go to hell” gesture

during orpheus’ toast everyone is pretty much on the platform aside from eurydice who is right in the middle of the stage beaming at him

at one part timothy picks up eva and literally like. throws her i was like eva is flying high rn omfg he literally made it look like she weighed nothing she probably doesn’t but like.

i was wow she does this in real life at one part and i felt so blessed to witness it

all i’ve ever known:

during the intro they are staring at each other and persephone walks to each of them and puts a comforting hand on them like a mom it was Soft

the all i’ve ever known choreo was softer in person than you would ever imagine

the part where eurydice is leaning back and it looks like orpheus is holding her? that we’ve all been talking about lately? this part? they actually start on opposite sides of the stage and eurydice starts to do The Lean and orpheus halls ass and RUNS to catch her before she falls it’s so cute

the whole time for eurydice’s verse orpheus keeps trying to hold her but she keeps him at arms distance and steps back every time she says “alone” or “lonely” but when she moves into the “but now i wanna told you part” she holds him SO tight she was like first grabbing his nonexistent boobs so hard that he was backing up then his suspenders then clutching his arms and finally his hands

during eurydice’s parts the background stage lighting is a soft purpley/pink and for orpheus’ it’s a vibrant blue and then when they sing together it’s a beautiful mix of both

the just music choreo part was magical eva did the lift kick and it was majestic in person she is a Wonder

after when they’re laying down you see them holding hands and the way she sits up literally?? looks like they’re laying in bed having the conversation it’s ?? captivating strangely

after eurydice sits up orpheus comes up to hug her from behind and there is this lovely gif set from it and she holds him so tight and it really is one of the softest parts of the whole show my heart was beating triple speed because eurydice really seems on the verge of tears and orpheus just HOLDS her

way down hadestown:

they are The Most Couple couple ever first of all. after all i’ve ever known they make out for like eight years i was like????? reeva needs to calm down

persephone’s dance was just as amazing in person as you’d imagine

her dress is SO vibrant in person like. the coloring in this show is so fantastic with eurydice and hades wearing the same color and persephone standing out with her green and orpheus’ clothes are more white than the ensemble’s so it stands out wonderfully

eurydice and orpheus got interrupted while making out by being scared to death by persephone yelling at them about hadestown it was so funny

eurydice goes to dance on the platform and she tries to get orpheus to come with her but he’s reluctant so she just pats his stool instead so he sits and she dances in front of him/talks to him/touches his arms and hair it’s adorable

during the pregnant pause when orpheus did his little move in front of eurydice thing he LEPT like a gazelle and landed on one foot that made such a SOUND everyone laughed

orphydice are standing at the front at the end when everyone is saying “way doooooown” and eurydice is staring at hades and persephone descending and orpheus has his arms around her from behind and when he sees her staring he looks at the audience with a scared look on his face

a gathering storm:

when she says “did you hear me” it’s really upbeat but when she turns around and he’s already gone to work she says “orpheus...?” really sad and dejectedly

after she says “okay finish it” she climbs up to the platform and wraps her arm around him and fucking KISSES HIS SHOULDER before leaving stage i was ??🥺?!🤧?💗?!?!????🥺

epic 2:

it’s really cool - a good set up to chant with orpheus’ song finally coming together and the workers in the background really Make the scene

chant 1:

i was not ready for this

you think you understand how good the lighting in the show is but you don’t until you see chant live don’t even get me started

during hades/persephone’s opening part the entire back wall is a orange/yellow and then for orpheus’ next part they turn their backs to the audience and the back lights turn blue and for all eurydice’s parts they’re the purple/pick like from all i’ve ever known again

when eurydice asks “is it finished” her and hermes are walking behind orpheus in that order and then she turns around to ask “is he always like this” and hermes just lifts up his arms to gesture and nod towards orpheus who has already made his way back to his stool and is writing and then it’s eurydice’s verse and she disappears off to the side again after

when hermes says “orpheus? orpheus?” i had always imagined him trying to get orpheus’ attention but in actuality he’s trying to find him - for the first “orpheus?” he’s looking in the opposite direction off stage and then for the second one he’s looking up and then orpheus catches his eye and he turns to him and starts walking while shaking his head to say “poor boy working on a song” and it seems like he’s going to try and warn/help orpheus but then he seems to cave in after saying “look up” and he decides to just walk away like he’s giving up on stopping orpheus

which - if you go by the “hermes remembers the loop” theory can be read as he knows there isn’t any point to trying to stop him but he has to give it at least a shot

eurydice fights HARD for her bag and jacket it takes like three tries for the fates to take it out of her grip and it’s just as heartbreaking as you think to watch her fall i cried

for the rest of the song eurydice tries so hard to keep walking but she’s clearly freezing and keeps falling and she looks like she’s one of the workers at some parts

hey little songbird:

during this song eurydice is SO SAD the second that hades starts shitting on orpheus and saying he’s a penniless poet she turns to the audience with pouty lips and eyes and they don’t leave for the rest of the song it was Sad

for the beginning of the song she’s just more wary but curious but after that she genuinely just looks heartbroken it was soooooo heart wrenching

i think eva actually was crying too during this song and it was hard to tell at first but she was def crying by gone

at the beginning the three fates seem to be talking amongst themselves but at the first three isolated notes they turn to watch eurydice

when she says “weren’t we birds of a feather” she holds the flower out in front of her and looks at her really sadly

hades nods to the fates during “vipers and vultures” and at the piano group of three notes at the end in the higher key right after he says “they’ll pick you clean“ they smile and wave all innocently it’s so funny

when the chips are down:

the fates choreo was FANTASTICCC i cant even explain they were on fireeeee

when they’re trying to convince eurydice she has her hands squeezed against her ears and falls to the ground at one point

i forget exactly what song it was (i think this one but like i said it’s kind of unclear) but at one point eva dropped the flower and i have no clue if it was purposeful or accidental (i was leaning towards accidental) but she snatched it up so quick and gave a dirty look to the fates like warning them to stay away from it

when eurydice says “oh my aching heart” she looks forward at the audience but clutches the flower to her heart

gone i’m gone:

everyone jumped at the train whistles lmao they were LOUD tho

right after eurydice gives her tickets she puts her hands over her mouth like she can’t believe it and they stay there as she goes down

at this point i forget when exactly it happened but the flower had been out of her hair and she was back to holding it

when eurydice was disappearing after she left and the stage was dark hermes fucking picks up the candle he took from her in the beginnning and BLOWS IT OUT ????? FUCKING NOOO

wait for me:

the intro was sooooo sad the flower stood out so well against the ground

after hermes asks if orpheus has a ticket instead of sounding dejected like in the soundtrack orpheus sounds more affronted like “wha-no?!”

hermes picks up the flower and holds it over orpheus’ heart while he says “if you got the heart” and orpheus takes it and holds it for the rest of the time - mimicking eurydice clutching it for the entire beginning

i was seriously concerned about the lamps hitting his head. i don’t know how it doesn’t happen more often and honestly i totally understand that time it did bc i was like ??? how is he avoiding all these giant swinging lamps rn like he was ducking under them diving out of the way lmao well done reeve

during wait for me at one part the stage isn’t rotating so reeve is just running furiously in place and it’s so fucking funny like. he literally looks like a stressed cartoon character or something

the stage was splitting into three to represent his descent into hadestown during it and the fates were each on a part with their lanterns and looking around alarmed at each other like “wtf is happening. how is he doing this. mom come pick me up i’m scared”

why we build the wall:

even more powerful live. it was my favorite song for a long time and it didn’t disappoint

at the beginning when hades and persephone enter the stage from opposite sides persephone is walking a lot faster like “let’s get this over with” vibes and hades is walking more slow and purposefully

eurydice doesn’t join in until the very end when she turns to the front and puts her hand up like everyone else and sings the last line of the song

hermes and persephone look like they would rather be doing anything else in the world than singing this song rip

when eurydice is about to go up to sign the papers she makes eye contact with persephone who gives her a Look and eurydice just slightly raises her arms in like a “calm down” gesture lmao it was kind of funny but then persephone sadly turns away and shakes her head so it got real sad real quick

during intermission i was the very last row of the orchestra so there was a lot of commotion behind me and i heard someone ask “where’s the women’s room” and a random guy points to the line and says “follow the road to hell” i was cackling