#dieter and skipper the goat

[grogusmum]

Hey Lovely Hazel! 🖤

Happy Saturday evening to you and sending lots of love your way!

I'm here to challenge you with Pedro Boy ficlet, let's see now... let's go for Dieter!

He's excited!

Love you! 🖤

Thank you my darling Jett! I hope you are having a good Saturday! 💚

Okay, this is connected to another lil 300-word doodad I wrote soon after The Bubble came out.

I got carried away, I had some of this worked out before, so a 300-500 word thing turned into 1300 oops!

Dieter was excited. He was trying to keep his cool, but it had been weeks since he had seen his sweet pea! But this time, he notices someone else... you.

🐐🐐🐐🐐🐐🐐🐐🐐🐐🐐🐐🐐🐐

“I was wondering if you could help me with something.”

Anika looks up expectantly.

“Do you have the number for the therapy animal people?”

In his suite, Dieter looks around at the mess, turning a circle at the center of the room. The paint, the drugs, wine and liquor bottles, his clothes, KitKat wrappers. The only area clean is the space set aside for his fitness mirror, which he looks at sheepishly, then throws a towel over it. 

Pressing his lips together as he makes his decision, he gets to work. He cleans up the most offending messes, then calls housekeeping for new sheets and towels, and a bathroom clean up and vacuuming, before heading back to the lobby to meet with the goat lady.

Dieter had called right away, and asked about Skipper, and if he could book another session with him. The woman he spoke with was very kind. She was the main trainer and creator of the therapy program, she explained it ran out of a larger farm owned by her family. She wished aloud that he could come to the farm, he would get an earlier slot… Dieter told her he would happily pay any fee for expediting his session. She relented, telling him she remembered how he connected with Skipper and she thought he could miss the next group and go to visit Dieter. She would bring him herself.

You drive your jeep since it's just one small animal, Skipper bleats quietly back in his crate. Thinking back to the day at the hotel, Dieter's reaction to the baby goat was not entirely unusual, especially these days. But you felt for him, it seemed like he was releasing a lot. So you weren't surprised to get his call. He had offered an exorbitant amount of money, but you told him you'd gladly accept an additional fee, but that his offer was far too much. You thought, sure it's a business and it has to keep making money but it is for helping people. And he seemed to need it.

Before you know it you are on the grounds, at the gate you show your credentials, get the Covid rapid test, and the safety protocols spiel. You park, pull a large duffle out of the backseat, and put Skipper on a leash. You let him relieve himself, then put a water bowl down so he can have a drink before getting to work.

You look up at the front doors and you see Dieter watching, his body language tells you he is excited but trying to be patient.  

Skipper finishes his water break and you start up the gravel drive toward him.

Dieter has been practicing his spiel to convince you to sell Skipper to him. He doesn't know if he's going to pull the trigger on it, but he wants to be ready. 

You put on your mask and approached the actor. 

"Mr Bravo, nice to see you again."

"Hey, uh, hi," Dieter says looking a little needy. 

You don't usually do this, but since its one on one, you hand him the leash.

Dieter lights up like a Christmas tree, so different from the first time. He starts talking to Skipper as the three of you walk to the side lawn-

"Hey Sweet Pea! I'm so glad you're back. I've missed you." 

He gets ahead of you so you can't quite make out all he says. But it's animated and happy.

Skipper was still determining where he was going but he likes to be with you, so having you on his own was exciting. When he was taken out of the jeep he recognized where he was a little. The smell, the cobblestones. He saw you look toward the big building so he looked to… was that the Fluffy Guy? 

It was. Well, he needs all the help he can get from what Skipper could see. 

The goat looked from you to Dieter as you passed the leash to him. 

Is this wise, mama? he thought. 

"...I've missed you." 

It's okay, guy. I'm here, what are we doing today?

"I really want to adopt you… but I don't know if the therapy woman will let me."

This is nothing new, pal. Everyone wants to adopt me…

Skipper bleats up at Dieter and Dieter is beside himself. He sits down on the grass and starts to pet Skipper's flank. You soon catch up and sit down with him. When you've both settled, Skipper climbs onto Dieter's lap. The man's eyebrows lift and his mouth is a small "o". Then his eyes get wet. As Dieter tries to pull himself together, you put a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"I'm going to go over and sit on the patio. Mr. Bravo, you be you, talk to Skip, and if you want to cry, cry. This is what he is here for."

Dieter gives a grateful nod and hugs Skipper, the goat bleats happily. 

"Would you want to live with me?" Dieter wonders. "No, why would you… fffu- sorry Sweet Pea, I shouldn't curse. I just, it's only-"

Dieter growls in frustration. Skipper bleats and twists his head to see him.

You watch from the patio, Dieter's body language has changed, so you stand. 

“Mr Bravo, is everything alright?”

Dieter lets out a breath, continuing to scratch the kid’s rump.

“I want to buy Swe- ah Skipper. I’ve really never- I don’t know I just- I will pay you anything!”

“Mr Brav-”

“Dieter, please, call me Deiter.”

“Dieter”, you say gently, putting an equally gentle hand on his arm. “I am not going to sell you Skipper, I’m very sorry.” 

His crest-fallen face pulled at your heart. 

“Okay let's do this-” You open your duffle bag and pull out two yoga mats. “Do you do any yoga, Mist- I mean Dieter?”

Dieter shrugs, his pout makes you smirk, a man who is used to getting what he wants if he throws enough money at it, but he does stand and assume a stance with his legs shoulders width apart. Skipper knows the drill, he did the moment you unfurled the mats- he loves goat yoga!

Soon enough Dieter is giggling as Skipper insinuates himself in all of Dieter's poses. But far from getting in Dieter's way or anything, Skipper finds where he needs to balance, and its not unlike getting a massage at the same time, as Skipper’s hooves dig into knots. But Dieter was starting to be taken by you as well, your quiet praise, and with a completely unnecessary request for permission to touch him, some hands-on adjustments to some of his poses. Soft and warm but also assertive, you touched his hips shoulders, and back with assured purpose. 

After some water and downtime, Dieter paints with Skipper in his lap, and finally, you hand him a stiff bristle brush to groom Skipper with.

Yes, fluffy Guy! My favorite!! Now just let me nibble your fluff and we are golden.

Dieter brushes the little goat and you and he chat idly. 

Dieter feels fantastic, but sad, as you leash Skipper and hoist your bag over your shoulder. You decline when Dieter offers to take it and hand him the lease. His boyish grin gives you a little jolt of something, you aren't quite sure about. He’s handsome, and you truly enjoyed your time with him today, but you’ve seen the articles - he is a walking Hollywood disaster story… but-

He reluctantly hands you the lease as you come to the jeep. 

“Thank you,” his voice is low and quiet, “That was- that was amazing.”

“You and Skip did some great work together.”

“You were great too.”

Why is heat rising in your cheeks? Skipper looks up curiously at you and if goats could smirk, he would.

“Thank you.”

“How much would it cost to convince you to come once a week?” 

🐐🐐🐐🐐🐐🐐🐐🐐🐐🐐🐐🐐🐐🐐🐐🐐🐐🐐🐐🐐🐐🐐

thanks for this ask, Jett! It kind of kicked my butt in gear to get this little thing out of my WIPs, for good or bad. lol 💚

[grogusmum]

I am constantly googling terms, but probably the most often was for Seven Tears, whether it was for popular names in the 1930s or types of boats in Ireland, or of course, terms of endearment in Irish and English to Irish translations.

Okay, against my WILL, I love sex pollen fics, like with most fics that "are not my thing." Usually, it takes a very special writer -

Of Gorgons and Gardens by @concussed-to-pieces

this is probably the second sex pollen fic I read, the first, dipped into squick territory, BUT thus one... oooffff you, Din, and Ezra is a mighty fine combination!!

Songs often play parts in my fics, but I'm assuming you mean very strong influence within the story and/or lyrics in the fic.

So here is a fic of mine that meets that criteria

99 Miles From L.A. (Frankie Morales x f!Reader) this is part of a series, but this one definitely can be read on its own. I played around with lyrics and photos as part of the storytelling, and I've always been pretty please with the result. (Now that I have Canva, I should redo the photos, they'd be much cleaner)

I love the Dieter badge!! With the goat! Now I have to self rec again as I have a fic with Dieter's goat, but I will rec a few more with it of some of my fav Dieter Writers!

Dieter Meet Skipper part 1 and part 2

Funny Girl, inspired by Pedros guest appearances on SNL, by @radiowallet . I can't link it because it's on its way to being a published book, so I suggest you check out her page so you can snag a copy as soon as it comes out.

Bright Lights by @ezrasbirdie with a plus size neurodivergant reader character, this is a delight to behold!!

I can't think about Birdie's Dieter fics without also thinking about the Starstruck series!! It's so so good! A plus size reader is in in the middle of the pandemic shutdown and on a dare sends her celebrity crush a DM on his Instagram, and what happens after he answers!

I'll Never Fall in Love Again by @oonajaeadira , reader is a fellow actor who has a past with Dieter and gets a chance to work with the director of her dreams and in what could be a breakthrough role, only trouble her ex is the male lead...

[grogusmum]

A place for trying new characters...

Dieter Meets Skipper

Dieter spends quality with therapy goat, Skipper.

Part 2

(written for Jett's Saturday Sleepiver) Dieter was excited. It had been weeks since the group therapy animal session. But his little sweet pea was coming for a solo session. Dieter can't wait to see Skipper, but this time, he notices someone he hadn't that day, Skippers handler - you.

Jack Daniels Imagine

Jack Daniels x f!Reader

Jack is not as skilled as he thinks. (Soon to be a full fic)

Please Mister Please

Joel Miller x f!Reader

You can't seem to escape that one song even after the apocalypse. Joel and Ellies friendship brings you some comfort, and maybe Joel is interested in more.

Main Masterlist

[grogusmum]

This man is a cuddle bear and I will not be told otherwise

Gillian!!! Coming in here with Dieter and Skipper?

thank you please continue!

*whispers* I love them

You will hear no argument from me!! I completely agree.

He is tactile and wants to touch and hold, he wants to spoon and be spooned, but he obviously has some intimacy issues.

Let us sit on Tumblr Hill and sigh (and affectionately shake our heads) at this walking disaster

[grogusmum]

A/N: IDK what this is. No pairing, just some Dieter and baby goat cuddle times. Just a tiny ficlet of silliness.

WC: 300ish

Dieter wanders out onto the sprawling lawns blinking behind his sunglasses like he hasn't seen sunlight in ages, he's feeling hungover and cynical…

Did the producers really think this was going to do anything for the deteriorating mental health or morale of the cast and crew of this ridiculous movie? 

He is fully aware a little time with someone with no demands of him, someone he can take the mask off with would be such a relief. He has been searching for it in the form of a bed partner or someone to get drunk or high with. What Dieter didn’t know is that someone was going to come in the form of the tiniest goat he'd ever seen. 

Skipper the baby pygmy goat is scooped up by his handler and given to Dieter. What the fuck… Dieter thinks as he holds the animal stiffly, he rolls his eyes. Skipper wants to roll his eyes right back, instead he sighs, this guy does not what he is doing. The animal handler notices right away and come back over. 

"Skipper will relax into your arms if he feels secure." They say, showing Dieter how to cradle the kid. He adjusts and immediately the baby goat settles and gives a pleased bleat with the improved hold. Much better fluffy man.

Dieter hears the happy sound and his eyes well up. Taking himself completely by surprise, he bursts into tears, wailing uncontrollably. He knows this could spook the goat, but he can't seem to stop. He scratches the goat's rump hoping to reassure the little animal. 

Skipper is very pleased with the scritches, he's had humans cry like this before, let it out guy, let it out, he thinks nibbling at Dieter's jacket and bleating again. It'll be okay, Fluffy guy.

Dieter's keening continues, he has no idea why, except that Skipper has settled on his lap, happy and trusting. In Dieter's hold, he seems to feel safe. When Dieter pulls himself together he quietly mutters to the baby goat.

"I know your name is Skipper, but I'm gonna call you my Sweet Pea, cuz you're so cute and little and sweet and I could gobble you up... but not really- I love you," he kisses the top of the kid's head, "I wonder if I can sneak you into my room…"

Dieter thinks about tucking him into his coat, then thinks better of it shaking his head.

"No, no we shouldn't go up there, that's no place for my precious baby."

Part Two

THANKS FOR READING THIS BIT OF SILLINESS 💚

[grogusmum]

Miss ma'am! Dieter, Skipper, and the Goatherd????! Please tell me more!! 🥺🥺💖💖

There were some wishes for more Dieter and Skipper, and the hope that the animal handler gets involved 😏

Well I had already been thinking about the possibility that Dieter wants to buy Skipper, maybe talks to his therapist to get a recommendation for a therapy goat, in the process he spends time with the handler and there are feeeellllliinggggs.

So since there is a little interest I am running with it. lol

WIP Game

[grogusmum]

Same vibes:

Dieter proud of his goat Skipper aka Sweet Pea.

Grogu proud on school picture day.

Thank you, m'dear for filling my asks with this adorableness! 💚