#divider creds: xxbimbobunnyxx

[ariesangelxo]

mornings - part two

MINORS & AGELESS BLOGS DNI

cw: more angst, still no comfort (i promise it’s coming in the next part), heartbreak, one mention of panic attacks, prescription benzo use, recreational coke use, drinking, arguing, mention of a gun and a gunshot at the end, not proofread lol

an: thank u all SO SO much for all of the love on part one !!! i am blown away and in awe. there also will be a part three for sure <3

part three

the past twenty-six days had not been kind to you. your mornings were spent rotting away in bed until your mom would force you to get up, her expression of concern always made you feel even worse. your days weren’t much better, you forced yourself to detach from your heart and numb your emotions. it was the only way you knew how to keep going. you put on a mask during the day with your parents, giving them occasional smiles and laughs that weren’t the kind that warmed their hearts. they knew you weren’t okay, but they also knew they couldn’t force you to talk about it or you’d shut down completely. your nights consisted of taking a benzodiazepine in order to fall asleep, you couldn’t sleep without them. you tried, it only led to intense panic attacks and hysterical sobs that made your mother’s heart break in front of you.

this morning had been a bit different. you were awakened when you felt a weight in your bed, and in the haze of waking up you initially thought it was rafe. you shot up the moment you remembered everything, eyes widening and heart racing, but you looked over to see sarah in your bed. "oh my god, sarah you scared the hell out of me!" you exclaimed, holding a hand over your chest.

she let out a giggle, "i'm sorry, your mom let me in. i miss you," her tone was gentle. you had become very close with sarah during your relationship with rafe. being over at the cameron's house so often led to a beautiful friendship forming between the two of you. she was like a sister to you, something you cherished deeply as you didn't grow up with a sister.

you felt a pang of guilt in your chest at her words. you knew she missed you, she'd messaged you every single day since your break up without fail, even if you didn't always text back. you had seen her a couple times, but when she asked about what happened, you told her you weren't ready to talk about it. sarah was incredibly understanding, knowing how much you loved her brother and not wanting to push you too far.

"i miss you too, sar. i'm sorry i've been such a shit friend lately." you responded to her. you gave her a small smile, curling up next to her as she sat against your headboard.

"it's okay, i know you're not doing great with everything going on right now," she trailed off with a sad smile, "but, you're going out with me tonight!" she became animated as she spoke.

you didn't have it in your heart to deny her, not when she looked at you like you were the most important person in her world. "you know i can't say no to you. where are we going?" you asked curiously.

"there's going to be a huge party at the boneyard, and you're coming with me. no ifs, ands, or buts." she giggled out, "i need to get you out of your room, you're rotting away in here, babe."

"god, you sound just like my mother," you teased back. "i'll go though, i miss you more than you know. i even miss the pogues a bit." you both laughed, referencing her newer relationship with john b.

you couldn't prevent your curiosity from getting the better of you, "how- how has he been?"

sarah bit her lip, debating internally how much to tell you. "he's been... not great. i don't see him much when i'm home, he's usually in his room with the door shut. he's been a lot more moody too, snapping at literally everyone in the house. it probably didn't help that i told him he's an idiot and he fucked up the best thing to ever happen to him."

you couldn't suppress the laugh that slipped through your lips or the slight satisfaction you felt knowing that you weren't the only one struggling. "i love you sar. thank you." you leaned over, giving her a hug.

"i love you too. now get your ass up and shower. we're getting you a new outfit for the party."

you spent the next few hours strolling through the streets of figure eight with sarah. your arms held multiple shopping bags, filled with clothes she insisted you needed for tonight. you were incredibly grateful that she had forced you out of bed, you actually felt human for the first time since everything happened.

you found yourself in a small cafe, giggling as sarah told you a story from one of her drunken adventures with the pogues.

“you know… you should talk to jj tonight. i know he thinks you’re hot.” sarah gave you a mischievous smile as she wiggled her brows.

“funny,” you rolled your eyes playfully at her, “but it’s way too soon for me to get into anything with anybody right now.”

“i didn’t mean start dating him, i just think you would have fun together.”

“i just- i don’t know, sar. i’ve been such a wreck these past few weeks… can i tell you what happened?” you looked up from your fingers to meet her eyes, now widened with shock.

“yeah, of course you can. but don’t feel like you have to if you don’t want to.”

you were grateful for her support, going into your explanation of how the last couple months of your relationship, rafe’s behavior changed drastically. sarah hung on to your every word, needing to know exactly what led to the end of your relationship.

“and so i walked into the country club to surprise him. i spent the whole morning getting ready, did my makeup how he likes, even wore a new sundress that i know he would have loved. but i walked in and…” you looked up as your vision began to blur, “he was talking with some bitch i’ve never seen before bartending. she had short brunette hair, but he fucking smirked at her the way he only does- did for me. and- and then, she basically fucking held his hand while she fucked him with her eyes, and he let it happen!”

you spit the words out like they were poison on your tongue, not noticing your voice beginning to raise with frustration. sarah’s jaw was nearly on the floor.

“what the- what the fuck?” she racked her brain, trying to remember if she’d seen anyone matching your description recently, but nothing came to her.

“god, shit. i’m so sorry, babe. i don’t know what the fuck is wrong with him.” she attempted to console you as you dabbed your eyes with a napkin.

you shrugged your shoulders, “what’s done is done. i just want to forget about everything for a while.”

she nodded, “then let’s go get ready. we can pregame at yours and ride with john b and them.”

after a few shots, a couple hours spent transforming yourself to not look like you spent the last three weeks trying to cope with your break up, and a lot of laughter, you and sarah were ready to go.

you wore a cropped loosely crocheted white sweater over your pink bikini and a white miniskirt that hugged your hips , the strings from your bottom peaking out from the top of it. you were finally feeling good about yourself again, and you’d be damned if you let anyone ruin it.

the ride to the boneyard only lifted your spirits more. it was impossible not to laugh around the pogues, especially when jj did whatever he could to hear your giggle.

you arrived just as the party was beginning to pick up. relief flooded your veins when you didn’t see rafe anywhere. you knew it was a possibility he’d be here, but it was going to be significantly easier to have a decent night without his presence lingering around.

you filled up a red solo cup at the keg, downing the cheap alcohol before refilling it.

“slow down there, or you might not make it too long.” jj approached you, giving you a flirty smile.

you gave him a laugh in response, “i’ll be fine, jay. i just want to be able to let loose tonight.”

“stick by me then, don’t want any of these pervs creeping on you.” the thinly veiled concern in his voice made you smile. you know he’s flirting, but it’s clear he wants to keep you safe knowing it’s your first night out in so long.

you spent the next hour surrounded by the pogues, and true to his word, jj looked out for you. he did so well that you failed to notice who had shown up to the party, the one and only rafe cameron.

rafe, on the other hand, saw you immediately upon arriving. it was impossible for him not to when your presence demanded his attention. he was not happy to see who you were hanging around with. his ongoing beef with the pogues was well known by everybody on the island. he didn’t come to party though, he had other business to attend to as barry gave him a side eye, “fuck are you doing, country club? you can fight for your girl later, we’ve got shit to do.”

your drink had somehow disappeared. your furrowed your brows as you looked down, giggling to yourself as you told your friends you were going to get another one. you were at the perfect level of drunk, not to the point of blacking out or vomiting, but to where you couldn’t quite walk in a straight line and everything was funny to you.

you stumbled up to the keg, starting to fill up your cup when you felt someone watching you. the hairs on the back of your neck stood up, you instantly knew who it was. it was as though there was a chip in you that alerted you to when he was nearby. you took a deep breath as you turned your head slightly, seeing rafe sat next to a man you didn’t know as he handed a small plastic bag filled with overpriced coke to a touron. rafe’s eyes didn’t leave you as he signaled him to leave.

you could hear your heartbeat in your ears, the hand holding onto your cup now trembling and the lump in your throat building. rafe stood, starting to approach you as you froze. your brain was screaming at you to run but your body refused to move an inch.

“what the fuck do you want, cameron?” your words were spat out with venom. your tone clearly surprised you both as he looked shocked momentarily. you were typically one to stand your ground, but never ever was your attitude aimed towards him.

“what do you mean ‘what the fuck do i want’? you fucking up and left out of nowhere and haven’t spoken to me in almost a month.” his voice was filled with anger, his nose flaring as he clenched his jaw.

you let out a humorless laugh, “out of nowhere? you can’t be serious, rafe. you treated me like shit the last few months of our relationship.” you didn’t yet mention seeing his interaction with the bartender at the country club, not knowing if topper and kelce had told him about seeing you when you left that fateful day.

“what? be-because i couldn’t be with you twenty-four fucking seven? like i- i wasn’t out working my ass off to afford nice shit for you?”

“‘working your ass off’ will you stop fucking lying to me? i fucking saw you at the country club,” his facial expression showed confusion, bringing his brows together to try and understand what you were talking about, “you let that bitch touch you, you looked at her how you used to look at me. i spent hours getting ready, i showed up, wanting to surprise my boyfriend for lunch, and what do i see? my boyfriend letting some bartender hang off of him while he flirts with her?”

your voice had raised as you got more and more angry. you were now shouting at him as other partygoers failed to hide their stares and murmuring. nobody ever talked to the kook prince the way you currently were, unless they wanted their face bashed in.

rafe grabbed your arm harshly, pulling you down the beach and away from others. you stumbled behind him, knowing you weren’t physically or mentally strong enough to push him away.

when you looked up at him, you suddenly noticed his blown-out pupils. you felt your heart sink. “you’re using again.” you stated flatly.

he scoffed, rolling his eyes at you. “don’t act like you fucking care.” he spat out at you.

“jesus fucking christ- rafe, when did you start again?”

“don’t worry about it. when did you come to the country club?” his tone was demanding, sparking further irritation in you.

“the day i left. i- i let a lot of shit slide for too long, because… because i wanted to be a good girlfriend and support you when i thought you were just stressed out from work. and, in return, i get to watch my boyfriend make me look like a fucking idiot.”

rafe was silent for a minute, his lips pursed as he clearly was trying to remember what he was doing before he came home to an angry ward and an empty room. then realization hit him, he knew exactly what you were talking about. he brought his palm up to his face, groaning.

when he was about to speak, he was cut off. “is cameron bothering you?” jj’s familiar voice called out. you looked past rafe’s large figure to see all of the pogues standing beside him, looking ready for a fight if it came to it.

rafe gave a humorless chuckle, “stay the fuck out of it, pogue.” he clearly wouldn’t go down without a fight either.

your heart stopped for a moment and your body filled with ice cold terror as jj pulled out a gun that was hidden behind his back in his waistband. it was clear you weren’t the only one not expecting it as the rest of them looked at jj with concern, john b telling him to put it away. “yeah? let’s fucking go, rafe. been itching for a fight for too long.”

everything became blurred. the mixture of shouting, seeing figures suddenly moving towards each other, and the unmistakeable sound of a gunshot, and then everything went black.

[shintaru]

COMING SOON …

Shintaru’s KINKTOBER fics

I’ve never participated in kinktober fic writing before but I’d like to participate now.

I’ll write for lookism, windbreaker webtoon, blue lock, kuroko’s basketball, haikyuu, jjk, Jinx & one piece. I may add some more fandoms to the list before October arrives

I can’t promise that I’ll complete this list I write slow when it comes to smut because I feel my smut writing skills are bad so if I don’t end up finishing this I’m sorry just making this to challenge myself and have fun

the fanfic list.

Licking Wooin, Joker, Harry Shepperd, Chris D’Char

Spanking Jiho park 

Size difference Chris D’ char 

Biting ace 

Scars joker 

Lingerie Owen Knight

Sharing wooin & joker 

Being Forced To Beg Akashi 

Cum Inflation cho yisu 

Marathon Johan seong 

Mutual Masturbation sanji 

Creampie kagami 

Praise Kink Gojo 

Blood tendou 

Rough Kaiser 

Choking Gun 

Dominance Itoshi sae 

Knife Play toji 

Sex In Public Shidou

Hand Jobs choso 

Hate Fucking Hanamiya

Humiliation sukuna 

Deepthroat Midorima  

Edging goo 

Riding Atsumu

Jealousy aomine Daiki 

Double penetration jaekyung & heesung 

Shower sex Dom kang 

Body whorship Vinny hong 

Food play Murasakibara 

Dirty talk wooin 

Bonus : fear play isaac foster

Rules:

I’d you aren’t ok with some kinks don’t hate you’ll be blocked. Just make sure to read the warnings and only read things you’re comfortable with.

I’ll reblog this everyday in October with the link to each fic

Divider creds: @tsunami-of-tears @xxbimbobunnyxx

[feris-wheel]

13 things I notice between acnh and acnl

Creds of dividers to: @anitalenia & @xxbimbobunnyxx

I was an avid fan of the animal crossing series, I had my chance upon getting the mobile Animal Crossing Pocket Camp, then I started playing New Horizons on the switch. After pouring in 300+ hrs total completing my island design and building and also getting the DLC to play with, I tried out and finally got New Leaf on the 3ds after to start playing. I knew that Animal Crossing New Leaf was the predecessor to New Horizons, and I was intrigued and interested in playing to see the differences and experience the game that had nostalgia of my childhood. I never got a 3ds but spent my childhood watching youtubers with their 3ds games and all the fun they had. After playing New Leaf for 2-3 weeks straight in, I noted that there were some differences, functionally and story-wise with the details. Both games are enjoyable in their own ways, and offers players options to consider on which game installment to play for — New Leaf for the coziness, interaction, nostalgia, and pacing �� or New Horizons for the amount of fun you can have with growing, crafting, designing your island, and new graphics.

🍀1. The way that stores are introduced are different: In New Leaf, the stores are separated in another street to unlock and visit. In new Horizons, the clothing and nook store can be built on your island, however the other stores are separate from your island. Kicks, Harriet, Leif, Reese and Cyrus are all on Harvey’s island that you can visit on.

🍀2. In New Leaf, Timmy and tommy swap places in working at the store on different days you visit. Whereas New Horizons has the two twins both greet and run the store when you visit.

🍀3. Small difference but notable is that you start off with the title as mayor in New Leaf game, while in New Horizons you are invited to live at the island at first while having the most active role contributing to the island.

🍀4. The way you start off in the opening of the game is a bit different, in New lead you’re greeted by Rover on the train you’re boarding. In New Horizons you’re at the airport greeted by the twin raccoons, Timmy and Tommy.

🍀5. In New Leaf, the customization of some items and creative liberty are kind of limited. Whereas in New Horizons, there are a bunch of options to creatively design your island by placing furniture, changing colors, and designing your own home. Additionally New Horizons has the DLC (happy home paradise) which also allows the function eventually of capable of designing your villagers homes on your island.

🍀6. Both games officially have a separate installment that focuses on designing homes, ran by the happy home academy ppl. Happy home designer is the predecessor to Happy home paradise. To which, Happy home paradise has more options, items, and creative choices to edit, place, and change things when designing the homes.

🍀7. In New Leaf, Tom Nook is the owner of his own store that offers home expansion and customization for the player. Whereas in New Horizons, he resides in the office and works with Isabelle and is seen as a higher up giving tasks and directions to the player at the beginning of the game. However he still stays true to his og role in the previous game, where he also offers home customization and expansion to the player in New Horizons. (Regardless, you will always be in debt to Tom Nook wherever you go…)

🍀8. In New Leaf, Isabelle’s brother appears to introduce you to check out the HH showcase and has a more permanent role. In New Horizons he doesn’t appear as frequently and is not a stationed npc.

🍀9. The interaction with villagers plays a crucial role in New Leaf. If you never talk to a villager, at some point they will decide to move out and decide their moving day. Whereas in New horizons, the only way for a villager to actually leave is till they also question whether they should move out and you would have to give them an answer to stay or leave. They won’t just willingly leave in the end though compared to New Leaf.

🍀10. In New Horizons, you can craft, customize the color, and get DIY recipes from the beach or villagers. Whereas in New Leaf, new furniture and customization can be purchased in Reese’ store and customized by her husband Cyrus.

🍀11. The feature of multiplayer and online depth is included in both games, however New leaf Online services no longer are supported as of this day. While New Horizons has multiplayer still available on the switch. With online membership on the switch, New Horizons can allow the player to travel to visit other players’ islands and visit random islands through dreams. In New Leaf, for the online services, you had the HH Showcase to be able to visit other players’ houses locally near you and other features to host and visit other islands through dreaming and traveling thru the train via internet.

🍀12. In New Leaf, there is a possibility to chance upon a tree full of perfect fruit of the fruit you have on your starter island. These perfect fruit variations have a higher value than the regular fruits to which you can sell for a more heftier amount of bells. There are also the existence of durian trees, lychee trees, and mango trees in New Leaf if you visit the tropical island by paying Kappa to take you there. Whereas in New Horizons, you won’t be able to grow perfect fruit, and the options for fruit trees include just peaches, oranges, pears, apples, and cherries.

🍀13. Lastly, the dialogue and options to interact with villagers are a bit different in the two games. In New Leaf, you either have the option to talk to them or they bring up a request that you could fulfill and complete. While in New Horizons, after getting closer and talking to the villager you have the option of gifting them. In New Leaf, there isn’t a direct option to gift them when you go talk to them, but you can gift them through letters sent through the postal office. In both games, villagers will reciprocate and show happiness after being given a gift or completed a request by gifting the player something.

Overall, once playing through both games, it is clear that they both have different strongpoints while carrying the og similar traits and function. It’s interesting and satisfying to see the evolvement of functions and added improvements from New Leaf to New Horizons in terms of creativity and variety of choices in items, design, and collections. Both platforms had online services to allow interactions with a growing community, so whichever game you resonate with the most you can definitely enjoy either game to live out your animal crossing adventures 🌱🌼☘️

[ariesangelxo]

mornings

rafe cameron x fem!reader

cw: angst, breakup, hurt/no comfort (yet), mean rafe, indications of cheating and lying, like one suggestive line

mdni

an: this is my first time writing a fic in almost a decade so pls be kind <3

part two part three

waking up had once been your favorite part of the day. your eyes would flutter open to see rafe sleeping, his features being softly illuminated by the morning sun, the scent of him being tangled within his egyptian cotton sheets, his gentle hold on you, keeping you close as if he feared you’d disappear during the night. it all made starting the day in a bad mood impossible.

that was before your break up. now, you dreaded being taken away from the embrace of sleep. waking up from the dreams of your now ex-boyfriend’s touch, his smile, his voice, was a cruel reminder from the universe of your current situation. you were no longer spending your mornings next to the man that held your heart in his hands and protected it like it was his most prized possession. you no longer got to listen to his raspy voice as he awoke from his slumber. you no longer could feel his lips press gently against your forehead or how your heart fluttered when he gave you a lazy smirk, knowing how needy you would get when he did so.

your break up came as a surprise to all of outerbanks. you and rafe had been the power couple, the kind of relationship that most girls dream of being a part of. to you though, it was not a surprise. you loved rafe with every fiber of your being, he is was your entire world. but in the months leading up to your split, things changed.

rafe became more busy with ‘work’. you began spending more nights falling asleep alone in his bed, your cheeks tear-stained as you silently wondered what went wrong. he started to hide his phone, almost always keeping it on ‘do not disturb’ when he was with you so you wouldn’t see his notifications. he had become more distant towards you and short-tempered, a side of him you knew existed but had never been directed towards you. he would snap at you for very minor reasons, like your phone volume being too loud while watching videos or your makeup not being completely put away. when you’d become upset afterwards, he’d hold you and apologize, claiming he was just stressed out with ward and the business.

you believed him for a while. you didn’t want to think there was anything wrong with your relationship. when sarah asked you if everything was alright between you and her brother, you would lie and tell her everything was great. you knew she didn’t fully believe it, your smile didn’t reach your eyes when you talked about your relationship and you no longer took every chance to gush about rafe.

you reached your breaking point exactly three weeks ago. you had gone to the country club to surprise rafe for lunch. you spent that morning dolling yourself up for him. you took an everything shower, spent a significant amount of time styling your hair and doing your makeup the way rafe had told you he loved, and wore a new sundress that hugged your body perfectly, white with small baby blue flowers and a slit up to your mid-thigh on the right side. you spritzed on his favorite perfume of yours and glanced down at your manicured hands, the promise ring rafe had bought you for your six month anniversary adorned your ring finger on your left hand. it was a bittersweet reminder of how things had once been, yet filled you with hope and determination that they’d be like that soon.

the short drive to the country club was a blur for you, the mixture of your nerves and excitement fueled your racing heartbeat as you became closer and closer. as you arrived you stepped out of your car, slinging your purse over your shoulder and checking your mirror to ensure your makeup was still perfect. you couldn’t hold back the bright smile on your face as you walked up to the country club, expecting that rafe was somewhere out on the course with topper and kelce, so you’d wait for him inside until he finished and then surprise him.

when one of the employees who, of course, knew exactly who you were, failed to hide her concerned look when she saw you approach, you felt your stomach do flips. your gut told you something wasn’t right, but she gave you a smile as she held open the door for you. you stepped into the clubhouse and began approaching the front desk to chitchat with the receptionist, but something caught your eye. it was the unmistakable figure of your boyfriend, leaning over the bar as he gave the bartender with short brunette hair his signature smirk.

you could have sworn you heard your heart shatter. the smirk he gave her was the one he had only given you since you started dating, or so you thought. she laughed as he told her something, reaching over to grab his now empty glass and letting her fingers linger a bit too long on his. your bottom lip began trembling and your vision blurred as he didn’t move his hand, or his gaze, away from her. everything suddenly made sense in that moment, his distance, the late nights away from tannyhill that left you alone, his newfound protectiveness around his phone.

without saying a word to anyone, including rafe, you slipped out of the country club. you desperately bit your bottom lip to try and combat the tears as you saw topper and kelce approaching the entrance. they both looked at you with confusion and concern, “hey, are you okay?” topper asked, his lips turning into a frown at you being obviously upset.

you attempted to give them both a smile, knowing how unconvincing it must have looked as your eyes were glossed over with tears that threatened to spill at any moment and your chin wobbled. “i’m sorry, i have to go.” you dismissed yourself, trying to be as polite as possible while avoiding a full on breakdown in front of the two boys.

you stepped aside them and raced to your car, wanting to get out of there as quickly as possible. your head was filled with questions. who was she? why did rafe let her touch him like that? why would he give her the smirk that was reserved for you, and you only? they sped through your mind almost as fast as you sped down the streets of kildaire, wanting to get back to tannyhill as fast as you could so you could grab your stuff and leave.

you did exactly that. ward attempted to question you when he saw you storm into his home upset, but when you wouldn’t respond and pushed your way around him, he knew his son had fucked up. you grabbed what you could remember in a haze, the overwhelming emotions making it difficult to remember what all you needed to get. once you had your bag packed, you took a look at yourself in the mirror. your cheeks were stained with mascara, your lips swollen and your eyes bloodshot red from crying. you couldn’t prevent the new wave of tears as the gemstone on your promise ring gleamed in the sunlight. you pulled it off quickly as if the metal was iron hot and burning your skin, throwing it onto rafe’s bed as you walked out of tannyhill and to your car. you drove off, heading to your home and not allowing yourself to spare another glance at the house that had been your safe haven just hours ago.

in the weeks that had passed since then, you could count on one hand the number of times you’d left the confines of your mom’s house. rafe had blown up your phone with unanswered calls and text messages for the first week following you leaving. he attempted to come see you, but your mom stopped him at the door, shouting a string of curse words at him before slamming it shut in his face. the texts and calls slowly dwindled, as did your emotions surrounding everything.

you forced yourself to numb your feelings for most of the day, not wanting to face the reality of what your life had turned into. the only time you found it impossible to do so was mornings. the mornings you had grown to hate with everything in you because they forced you to mourn your once loving relationship that had dissipated into nothingness. the mornings that filled you with anger and sadness. the mornings that had once been your favorite part of the day. god, you hated mornings.

[ariesangelxo]

mornings, part three

MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS, DNI

cw: rafe x fem!reader, talk about use of drugs, dealing, one minor head injury, sad!rafe, soft!rafe, a little bit of angst, fluff, smut, oral (f receiving), nipple sucking, makeup sex, piv, creampie, pet names during sex, praise, etc.

an: i hope you all like part three! i want to quickly thank you again for the love shown for parts one and two. i cannot wait to continue writing. the interactions mean more than i can ever express.

part one part two

the silence that enveloped you was a strikingly peaceful contrast from the loud echo of a gunshot that rang in your ears.

sarah’s scream the moment you hit the ground ran a deep chill through rafe’s body. it was the sight of you, crumpled up on the beach, that snapped him out of his cocaine-fueled rage.

as people at the boneyard ran from jj firing off the gun, you lay perfectly still. rafe jumped into action, running over to you. he cradled your head and to his horror, he felt liquid on one of his hands. you had sustained a small cut to the back of your head when you passed out, an unfortunately placed rock being in the same landing spot as your skull.

when rafe pulled one of his hands away from the back of your head his skin turned nearly white. he looked up at sarah, tears forming in his eyes as he yelled for her to get kie. something in him changed, he realized in that moment how close he was to truly losing you.

kie told rafe to move as she lifted your head, supporting your neck so that she could try and feel for the injury. rafe stood up, walking absentmindedly to the ocean where he rid his stomach of the alcohol he’d drank earlier to try and numb the pain of seeing you again. he felt a hand rubbing his back and looked over to see sarah.

“she’s okay, rafe. she just got a cut from a rock. kie said everything else feels okay.” rafe felt a surge of relief go through him.

he went back over to you, salty tears cascading down his cheeks as he gently held you, “i love you. i’m so sorry, baby. i’m so, so sorry. you need to wake up though, we gotta get you out of here.”

you began to come out of unconsciousness, just barely catching rafe’s words as the pounding in your head hit you. you harshly shut your eyes, the noise from kie and pope yelling at jj only intensified the pain.

rafe hushed them, shooting a glare towards jj. “hi my sweet girl,” he whispered softly to you, running his hand gently over your forehead.

you opened your eyes to see him. your heart began racing, it had been so long since you’d been this close to him. the way he looked at you, his usually icy blue eyes now warm with concern, filled your stomach with butterflies. “rafe,” you croaked out, your face twisting at the sound of your own scratchy voice, “my head hurts.”

“i know. just hang in there f’me, okay? we’re gonna get you home.” he picked you up bridal style, silently looking over to sarah to ask her to come with. she quickly nodded, following after him.

the drive back to tannyhill was quiet. you were in the backseat, lying down with your head on rafe’s lap as sarah drove.

the anger you’d been harboring towards the cameron boy was set aside. it was difficult for you to have the energy to be mad when his eyes were glossy with unshed tears, holding you like his life depended upon it.

rafe carried you into the silent home, bringing you to the bathroom where he grabbed a first aid kit. he dabbed at the cut on the back of your head, holding your chin to keep you still.

“this might hurt a little, just stay still,” he murmured as he focused.

you winced at the initial contact, letting out a slight whimper, “shhh, you’re doing so good for me, baby.”

the gentle tone in his voice made you want to cry. it felt like it had been stolen away from you so long ago, a precious artifact that was a mere memory of your once perfect relationship.

rafe caught the slight wobble in your bottom lip, quickly pulling away from the back of your head. your eyes opened at the sudden lack of contact to see the frown on his lips, “are you okay? was it hurting too much?”

“no, no, it’s okay.” you responded, holding his gaze. rafe nodded softly, finishing up cleaning the small wound before looking you over. you could tell his head was swarming with thoughts, the way he furrowed his brows and brought his bottom lip between his teeth was a dead giveaway.

a part of you was tempted to question him, to ask what he was thinking about and pick his brain to pull out the answers you so desperately wanted. the other part of you told you not to. the possibility of some of your worst fears becoming the truth would completely break you now.

it took you a moment to register the sound of rafe's voice, your eyes snapped up at him, "i'm sorry, what was that?"

"i asked if you needed help walking back to my room."

"why would i be going to your room?" you questioned him, a bit thrown off by his firm tone.

"because you hit your head, it's getting late, and you don't have a way to drive home right now. plus, somebody needs to watch over you to make sure you're okay." he responded, his voice matter-of-fact.

"and that means i'm supposed to crawl into your bed and act like everything's normal?" you laughed humorlessly, the bubbling anger in the back of your mind beginning to rise again.

rafe brought his fingers up to the bridge of his nose, pinching it as he took in a deep breath to keep his cool. "don't argue with me right now. you're not going home. you are going to get into bed and let me watch over you."

your shoulders slumped, you knew he was right. with a small huff you jumped down from the countertop, walking into his room and immediately going to his closet to grab one of his t-shirts to sleep in. rafe had followed behind you, not saying a word as you fell into what used to be your normal routine before bed with him.

he stripped down to his boxers while you wanted to hit your head against the wall, your heart betraying your brain as it began to race at the sight of his muscular body.

you rubbed your eyes, attempting to rid yourself of those thoughts before you crawled into your side of his bed. you couldn't help but wonder to yourself if anyone else had slept in this spot, your spot, since you broke up. the idea made you feel nauseated and had your skin crawling.

you shivered at the idea, turning over so that your back was to rafe. you knew you couldn't look at him, not when this felt far more intimate than you were comfortable with. your entire body lay stiff, the tension between you two could have been cut with a knife.

"rafe?" you whispered out, keeping your eyes focused on the small sliver of moonlight that seeped its way through his curtains.

"yeah, kid?"

"why'd you do it?" you felt adrenaline rush through your body, the type of feeling you get after you send a risky text and throw your phone away from you, wanting to know the response but also being terrified of what may be coming.

he was quiet for a moment, "do what?"

"cheat."

"i didn't... i didn't cheat on you." his voice held a vault of emotions. you couldn't bring yourself to face him, unknowingly missing the key to that vault, the way he looked at you like the thought of choosing someone over you would kill him.

"what were you doing with her then?"

"will you please look at me?" rafe's voice wavered slightly, the fear of you rejecting him was unmistakable.

you hesitated, your breath catching in your throat. it was easier to have this conversation when you couldn't see him, it was easier to pretend as though this was just in your head and not a part of your current reality. however, the way his voice wavered tugged at your heart. his vulnerability, that you'd missed so much, made you feel like you had to turn over.

once you moved so you were facing him, you could tell he was holding back his emotions. it was a look you were all too familiar with, one you'd seen many times when rafe would come to you after he'd been in a fight with ward. he always feared that crying made him weak, ward had instilled that into him from a young age, among other things.

he inhaled a shaky breath, "i-i would never cheat on you. i fucked up, badly, but not in that way."

you gave him a confused look, "what do you mean? and if you weren't cheating on me, then why did you let her touch you? why'd you look at her like that? you... you changed rafe. the last few months of our relationship you became a completely different person, you weren't the man i fell in love with."

he winced slightly at your words. "i know," he looked upset with himself, "i- i lost a lot of my dad's money. it was a stupid deal i thought i was in on and the guy ended up fucking me over. i started using again, but i didn't want you to know. i knew how disappointed you'd be. i thought i could just do it a couple times, to feel better. but that turned into me owing barry more and more money. he told me i could pay him back by working for him, selling at parties."

you were disappointed in him, disappointed that he didn't tell you sooner. "rafe... why didn't you say something? instead of leaving me in the dark, literally. i can't count on two hands the number of times i waited for you to come home, just to cry myself to sleep in your bed. this also doesn't explain what happened at the country club." your tone was firm, but not angry.

"her name is sofia. she saw me at one of top's parties and wanted to buy, but by the time she meant to, i'd left. i didn't like her touching me, but she wanted to buy a lot. it would have paid off a decent amount of money i owe."

you analyzed his face, his words, the tone of his voice, anything and everything to try and figure out if he was telling the truth. you knew the way his eyes would dart around the room when he lied, eye contact made it too hard for him, the way he'd pick at the skin around his fingernails as a distraction from the guilt that would arise in his stomach. he wasn't expressing any of his usual tells.

"have- have you been with anyone? since i left?" you asked nervously.

"no- god, no. baby, i've been a wreck. i... i stopped trying to reach out because i knew you needed space. i'm so sorry for how i treated you, i love you more than anything in the world." rafe professed to you, spilling out his emotions that could no longer be held back.

a tear slipped from the corner of his eye and you gently reached your thumb up to wipe it away. the way he leaned into your touch truly made the walls you'd built up crumble away. the small action was a bulldozer, taking them out like they were made of snow.

"i love you too, rafe. i just... i'm scared that you're going to drift away again. that broke me, i've been a shell of a person for the past month. i can't go through that another time." your voice came out just above a whisper, a sad smile on your face as a tear of your own fell down your cheek.

he shook his head, "i promise i won't shut you out again. i can't lose you. you're everything to me, i don't- i won't ever go through another day not talking to you."

he wrapped his large arms around you, pulling you close against his bare chest as he rested his chin on top of your head. you couldn't stop the tears that began falling. you'd be the world's worst liar if you said you didn't miss him, that this wasn't the only thing you'd truly wanted the last month, that you didn't love this man with your entire heart.

he placed a firm kiss on your hairline, "i love you."

"i love you too, rafe."

"let me make it up to you," he whispered against your forehead, moving you back slightly so he could look you in the eyes. you nodded, wanting to be as close to him as humanly possible.

he gently flipped you over, laying you on your back as he crawled over you. his arms rested on both sides of your head, caging you in. he brought his rough thumbs to your cheeks, wiping the tears away and placing kisses were they once were.

"you're so beautiful, my perfect girl." he murmured against your skin. you felt a rush of electricity jolt through you, going straight to your core at his words.

his lips met yours. the initial kiss was gentle, sweet, and full of love. they quickly became heated though, the rough dance of your lips was full of unspoken words telling of how badly your bodies needed each other.

your hands moved up and down his torso. the feeling of his warm skin underneath your fingertips made your cheeks heat up. he lifted the hem of his shirt on you, breaking apart your kiss momentarily so he could take it off of you.

his lips went to your jawline, trailing down your neck and to your collarbone. he sucked on your sweet spot, undoubtedly leaving marks that you'd attempt to hide when you went home tomorrow.

your soft moans were a melody to his ears, his favorite song that he'd never get tired of hearing. his mouth moved down to your nipples. he gently took one between his teeth, applying just enough pressure to bring you a sensation of pain that was incredibly pleasureful. his hand reached up to your other nipple, twisting it between his fingers. you squeezed your thighs together, trying to bring yourself a little bit of relief.

rafe tsked, he pulled away from your tits, the loss of contact making you whimper. though he moved down, spreading your thighs apart as he left a trail of wet kisses down your stomach. he hovered over you, the spot you needed him most radiating heat.

he smirked at you, bringing his thumb to circle around your clit softly through your panties. "rafe, please," you whined out.

"please what, baby? use your words." he taunted.

"need you to touch me." your slightly swollen lips forming into a pout.

he couldn't deny you now, not when you looked so sweet, so needy, like an angel sent just for him. "that's my good girl." he said as he pulled down your last bit of clothing, revealing your wet cunt to him.

"such a pretty pussy." you couldn't tell if rafe was speaking to you or to himself. he gazed at your core like a starved man. in a swift motion, he brought his arms underneath your legs, hooking them over his shoulders as his lips attached to your clit. your breath caught in your throat, the moans that fell from your lips were impossible to silence.

he groaned as your fingers moved down to tug at his hair, the vibrations causing you to screw your eyes shut tightly. he could never, would never get tired of tasting you.

his cock throbbed against his boxers. he began grinding his hips against his mattress, you could have sworn it was the hottest thing you'd ever seen.

"need you inside of me, please." you whined out, trying to pull him up closer to you. he pulled away from your dripping mess, meeting your lips with his. his tongue pried its way into your mouth, making you taste yourself.

you tugged at his boxers, moving the fabric down so his cock sprung out. the sight of him, red with pre-cum smeared around the tip, only encouraged you further. you pushed them as far down as you could reach and he helped you out by taking them off.

"lay back." he demanded, and you complied. he licked his lips at your nude body, "you're so perfect. all mine. my angel."

he grabbed his cock, pumping it a few times before he lined it up with your cunt. the initial push in stole your breath away. the stretch of him always taking you a moment to get used to. he moved slowly, hips going inch by inch until he was all the way inside of you.

"fuck, sweetheart. always so fuckin' good for me." he bit his lip as he groaned.

"please, rafe. need you to move." he didn't think he could deny you anything when you spoke like that, not that he would ever want to. he moved back, pulling away until just the tip remained inside of you, before thrusting back in all the way.

your back arched at the feeling. he filled you perfectly. the sound of his balls slapping against your ass and both of your moans filled the room. they bounced off the walls, echoing your need for each other. he grabbed the backs of your knees, folding your legs up so you were nearly in half. the new position allowed him to reach a deeper angle.

"rafe, feels- feels so good. missed you s'much." he sped up his thrusts at your whimpers. he was overcome by the lust that swirled around his head, clouding his thoughts so he couldn't think of a single thing other than how amazing you felt wrapped around him.

when rafe brought his thumb down to your clit, you saw stars. you felt tears come to your eyes at the overwhelming pleasure.

"just like that, just like that, please. 'm so close." rafe's eyes rolled back at your pleas. the way you begged him made him pushed him closer and closer to his peak.

"cum for me, my sweet girl. cum around my cock, you've been doing so good f'me. i'm right behind you." his permission is what send you over the edge. your walls clenched around him as you threw your head back, your vision going white. you yelled out his name, telling the entire world that you were his and he was yours.

rafe was telling the truth, seconds after you fluttered around him he gave one last thrust into you. he held you close to him as his cock pulsed inside of you, filling you up with his cum.

"i love you. i love you. i love you." he moaned out as he orgasmed. his words were a promise to you. he's loved you since the day he met you, nothing could ever change that.

you both breathed heavily as he fell next to you. his arms wrapped around you, pulling you close to his chest as he kissed your forehead. you looked up at him, giving him a tired, but very satisfied, smile. he couldn't help but give you one in return. the rafe you'd missed so dearly was back, you saw him in the way he looked at you now.

"as badly as i don't want you to get up, you need to go pee." he reminded you gently, giving you a soft pat on your butt.

you groaned, "think you need to carry me. my legs aren't gonna work right now."

rafe let out a laugh, a genuine laugh. it was your favorite sound in the world, it made your heart flutter like you were a school girl who was just noticed by her crush for the first time.

he picked you up, walking you over to his bathroom as he set you down on the toilet. he cleaned himself up and put a clean pair of boxers on, grabbing a new t-shirt for you to sleep in.

that night you fell asleep in his arms. you didn't need to take a benzo to sleep. you didn't pass out with tear-stains on your cheeks or your throat sore from crying. you slept through the entire night, not once having a nightmare that ended in an explosive breakup between you and rafe. and in the morning, when you woke up, rafe was right next to you. he was asleep, his features being illuminated by the morning sun, his limbs tangled with yours, his gentle breathing that had his chest rising and falling beneath your head, it was all him. it was perfect. you couldn't stop the large smile that spread across your face, you could stay like this forever. mornings with him will always be your favorite, after all.