#divorce era soon im never ready for it

[arcanegifs]

Jayvik Scenes: 2/? ↳ "Would you please stop hovering?" "I'm not sure how to do that, sir."

♡♡♡ happy birthday, @wizardofgoodfortune! ♡♡♡

[juanitasupreme]

ykw im feeling messy today time to be divisive and rank blackpinks singles best to worst.

1. Du ddu du: best raps, had a atual dance break, the hype during that era was unparalleled this was their first global hit ,basically but them on bullet proof boyscouts level

2.boombayah: the girls had one chance to prove to their company they were the new it girls and they did. lisa's rap outsold. jennies rap outserved. rose was on the sliding on the floor jisoo was a visual all was well. birthed blackpink in your era and i cannot lie "i dont need a boy i need a man" had me gobsmacked

3.So hot remix: technically is a single and not a comeback but i said i was ranking singles so get off my dick. the only reason teddy hasnt given blackpink an actual comeback like this is because he's afraid of success? i guess? has one of the least cringe english raps in their discography. like theyd actually body this. this remix came in the middle of a drought and got more streams than the original song in months. absolutley insane. hell they could probably still release it, just give jisoo lines and add a dance break omg.

4. Sour candy: technically not even blackpinks song but lets be honest it is. well its rose's really and we all know out of the 4 girls rose and lisa are the only ones really trying anymore at this point. once again if bp had a song like this they would devour. it would top the charts (deservingly) the reason its not higher on the ranking is because lady gahgah is on there, sorry ma'am

5.Playing with fire: she gave. everything. choreo was engaging, lyrics were deep. raps were slaying. everyone sounded good and this is the last time all of the members were seen trying during live stages. if bp released a song like this today blinks would cry tears of joy.

6. love sick girls: their last truly amazing song theyve put out to date basically manufactured in a lab to be a hit and it was.

7.whistle: its odd seeing whistle divorced from her sister boombayah but im gonna be honest here she has strong line distribution, good rapping but jennies vocals on the chorus never rlly hit for me. she sounds like shes straining, especially the bridge. honestly in my opinion they shouldve kept the demo version iykyk

8. Stay: i feel like people forgot about her. this is the only time bp released a slow song as a single. its very christian horsegirl music which was perfect for rose. i wonder if bp wouldve been better off releasing songs like this and their regular uptempo dance pop songs so that way they would have more depth as a group. but that would require actual effort from yg. bp has such a obvious formula for a lot of their songs that even when they try to break it it ends up more of the same *see, shutdown*

10. sure thing cover: ok i know im fucking pushing this it wasnt even a single but im putting it here because bp couldve benefitted from having a song like this in their discography

11.forever young: on the technicality forever young was promoted on music shows i will count it as a single. shes ok. i put her over kiss and make up simply because she has a dance break

12. Kiss and make up: technically dula peepas song but bp did good so im keeping it here.

13. Ice cream: npt as bad as people say it is its just painfully basic and selena didnt rlly add much but i digress.

14.pink venom: as soon as i heard it i knew they were going for early 2000s late 90s throwback vibes so i didnt hate it like everyone else what can i say i have the mind of a mastermind it was still a let down after waiting so long for a single though

15.as if its your last: i know the pinks hate this song it was the only new thing they had to perform for like two years.

16.ready for love: whew the hype for this song died so fast. its not even bad just forgettable

17. shut down: i will give the song this, the lyrics actually are catchy. the melody of the chorus was stuck in my head after the 2nd listen which is strange since its a lackluster song. rapper jisoo showed up which was a welcome surprise. the english raps left a lot to be desired.

18. awesome screen awesome camera: yes i put an ad with just lisa and rose here to make the number on the list even, and yes this samsung jingle is still better than kill this loveand hylt

19. kill this love: the first time(and not the last) i remember being truly disappointed by a bp comeback.

20. how you like that: ....

[lostandbrokenshell]

Say yes part two

John seed x OC Elle white.

Fast forward a few years.

The sun was high, it was hot out there was no breeze to help cool her down. She didn’t know why but she wanted to keep watch in the horizon something was going to happen. Just when she thought she couldn’t take the heat anymore a breeze ripped through feild. It felt so refreshing.

“Its not safe where you are.” Elle turned around John was standing there, but it wasn’t the John Duncan she knew. He was different, dressed different and there was something else different about him? Thats right, its John Seed now. She could see Falls End behind him the sound of the church bell rang throught the air. “Dont get caught out here.” John said befor he disappeared.

Confused Elle reached out for him but something behind her made her turn around. The bomb hit the ground, the explosion was instantaneously the impact wave reached out fast as the mushroom cloud reached up into the sky. Screaming Elle tried to sheild herself as the heat wave raced towards her.

Elle sat up panicked, breathing heavily. Its just a dream. She reminded herself shakily. She got out of the backseat of her car the cool night air was refreshing against her damp skin. Leaning against the car she looks up at the sky, the sun was starting to come up. Sighing deeply after a few minutes she got into the drivers seat. Might as well keep driving, a few hours out of Falls End. She thought as she started the car up and started driving. To the town she had never been to, that haunted her dreams.

She wasn’t far past the tunnel when her car broke down she had her backpack on and almost ready to walk away when a white truck pulled up. There was a big cross on the hood of the truck and the sides, their clothes also had the same cross. They must be from the church. She thought

“You having car trouble?” One of the men asked as they all got out.

Elle laughed and nodded “Go figure eh? Its been a long trip out im not surprised. You gentlemen wouldn’t know where i could find John Seed? Im an old friend.” Elle asked with a nice smile. But she could tell something was off, as soon as she said Johns name their face hardened.

“Whats your business with John?” They asked their whole demeanour turned hostile.

“Im an old friend.” Elle replied firmly and flatly, they seemed not to like that answer but where unsure how to react to her yet.

Slowly one of the men went back to the truck and grabbed a radio and started talking quietly on it. The others just stared her down waiting. “Whats you name?” Radio guy hollered out.

“Elle White.”

There wasnt much of a pause after he repeated her name “Get in, we’re taking you to the Seed Ranch.” Radio guy yelled out. All the other guys waited for her to start walking before they did, following her close. She got in the passenger seat and the rest of them crammed in the back.

The ride there was quiet other than the radio which was blasting a song that seemed the lyrics where something like ‘Oh John’. But Elle wasn’t paying much attention to the music she was nervous about the men who very much out numbered her. As the house came into view Elle realized the road next the the plane runway that they turned down, was actually a long driveway. He did like his planes she thought remembering the few times he took her out. John was waiting outside with another man she didn’t recognize, John was wearing the same clothes as her dream. Where as the other man was shirtless and had his hair up in a bun. The men who drove you didn’t stay after they dropped you off, they left right away after a nod to John and the other man.

“Its been so long Elle, its so nice to see you.” John said warmly as he came over to hug her. His voice was just as silky as the last time she heard it.

“I missed you John.” Elle replied while hugging him back.

“This is Joseph, i never had the chance to introduce you before i left.” Elle looked over to him his face was friendly, but he was looking right into her eyes. She almost felt like he was staring through her, into her soul.

“Ive seen you before, In one of my visions, your just beautiful in person. Your with us in the collapse, you help us prepare, you help us shepherd into the new era.” He said softly while taking a step towards Elle, but coming no closer.

A vision of the bomb dropping flashed through her mind. “I haven’t seen you in mine.” She looked over to John she could almost feel the heat of the blast against her skin. “But i seen John.” If John was surprised at that he hid it well. “He told me I wasn’t safe where i was and not to get caught outside”

Joseph started walking towards her and cupped her face in his hands. “The lord brought you here, because this is your place, you will help us ive seen it.” His smile was so reassuring. “You and yours, will be welcome to walk through Edens Gate with us.”

“The government is trying to gather information on you all. They came to to visit me, trying to get information on John, from when he was in the law firm. They thought i might hold grudges against him for my brothers ruined career and life.” Elle blurted out.

“The career you helped to ruin?” John asked while raising his eyebrow.

“I dont think they realized i told you not to play favours with him. Or that i gave April the evidence that lead to his criminal charges. Because since you left shortly after his divorce was settled and it came out that he was stealing from clients. They thought it ended badly between us from the firms decision not to help Mike with one of their lawyers. And that since i was a ‘Scorned woman’ in their eyes i must be out for blood.” Elle snorted and rolled her eyes. “You know because emotional women cant think clearly and all i guess.”

“When will the little ones join us.” Joseph asked with a warm smile. Its like it didn’t even phase him Elle mentioned the government was after them. John, he took a small step back and studied Elle completely surprised by Josephs comment on little ones.

Elle was surprised herself. “How did you know about my children?” She asked cautiously.

“I seen them in my visions, with you. You must have lots to talk about, and i will have more times to talk with you later. You should talk with John now.” He smiled warmly at her before he walked away down the driveway.

“Come in.” John motioned towards the house.

“Thank you.” Elle said with a small smile, John took her into the dining room and started to make some coffee. Which seemed to take hours to make even though it was only minutes.

“What are their names?” He asked as he passed her a cup.

Elle paused and sipped on her coffee before she sighed deeply and looked in his eyes. “I was going to tell you.” She said softly. “But by the time I realized it, you where leaving with your brother to reclaim your family name. I didn’t want it...” She paused looking for the right words. “I was scared, i knew you had your path. And I didn’t think mine was with you at that moment, I didn’t want it to derail anything for you. I didn’t want it to seem like i was trapping you after you had found your family again.” She blurted out she could feel the heat in her face. “They’re twins, Mira and Johnathan, or Mimi and Joe as they say it.”

She gave him a small smile John was listening to her, his face made of stone taking in her words but showing no emotion. It made Elles stomach knott in the suspended moment of waiting for the other shoe to drop. “When will they get here?” He asked, his face still blank with emotion.

“Mikes ex wife, April shes looking after them right now. When i give her the call shes going to bring them, shes a couple towns over with them. I wasn’t sure how it was going to go with me showing up, or what i was walkimg into.” Elle replied softly while taking another drink of her coffee, hoping it would magically wash her nerves away.

John put his coffee down and walked towards her, each step she could feel her stomach drop a little more and more. Like each step echoed though her body vibrating her every nerve. Her chest felt like there was a hundred pounds sitting on it, each breath was a battle. One of his arms wrapped around her waist as the other grabed her hair behind her head. Kissing her hard, tightly holding her close against him. She kissed him back more aggressively, hungry for more.

After a few moments Elles pocket vibrated against them, breaking the embrace pulling away Elle looked at her phone. “Its April.”

John kissed her forhead. “Bring them here, this is their home. Your place is in Edens Gate with me, i will give you everything, give them everything.” His grip on her was firm. “Say, it.” He whispered as he leaned in she could feel his breath on her ear. “Say yes, Elle.” It was almost a demanding tone, but it still sent shivers down her spine.

Elle swallowed hard, she didn’t know what to expect when she left to look for him for answers, certainly wasn’t expecting this. She mostly wanted answers to her dreams, now shes left with more questions. Questions and one big desire, and longing. His grip tightened more as he waited impatiently for her response. “Yes.” She mumbled his grip on her relaxed, along with the rest of his body as it embraced her more gently.

“Thats my girl.” He murmured as he gently kissed her neck.

Elle could feel her whole body tingle as she leaned into him, enjoing his current gentle state. She took a moment soaking it in before she pulled away to call April back to bring the kids.

John begrudgingly had emergency business to attend to before April arrived, his mood was foul when he left with the men. Who seemed very aware they wanted to do this quickly as possible.

The kids played out in the yard while April and Elle sat off to the side watching them. “You sure its safe here?” April asked looking over at Elle. “I looked this place up, its cultish.”

Elle laughed a little. “Oh believe me April, i looked it up to.” She flashed her a smile. “But everything just makes sense to me. I dream about a town that up until today i never seen get dusted by a bomb. In said town happens to have a... Alright cult is the right word for it, who are preparing for a doomsday.” Aprils face changed to a ‘really’ look. “Yes, almost every cult is doomsday like” Elle scowled every word dripping with sarcasm. “But this cult just so happens to be lead with my ex, father of my children who apears in the KA BOOM dream. Looking exactly like saw him in today, and he looks completely different from the last time i saw him.” Elle even added in hand gestures for the ka boom.

“Yeah, if i wasn’t there for your first dream, I dont even know if I would of believed you. Being woken up to you screaming, god you where so scared. Helping you look up this town, that I didn’t even thought existed because ‘It was just another nightmare’ kind of thing.” She stopped and looked over at Elle. “Its been a wild ride.”

“It has been, im glad i got you in the divorce.”

“Amen to that, gained a sister in marriage even though the marriage failed the sisterhood thrived.” April agreed. “Saw your car broke down by the tunnel, i told you to wait for the mechanic and leave today.”

“Im sorry, i though we where talking about sisterhood, this sounds like a mom ‘I told you so’ thing.” Elle snorted while rolling her eyes. “Besides I wanted to get here as soon as possible.”

“Im thankful you did.” Johns voice came from behind them, both women turned around. He was walking towards them but watching the kids.

“Well, now is a good time to go site seeing before everything gets dusted.” April said as she stood up smiling and nodding to John as she passed.

He nodded towards her but his gaze was fixed on Mira and Johnathan, who where oblivious to anything going on in their direction. “Want me to call them over?” Elle asked.

John shook his head and sat down next to Elle. “Let them play.” He looked over to her. “You all will have a baptism tomorrow, the church will have a big lunch for everyone to meet you.” He gently put his hand on her face and brought his eyes to her. “I enjoyed our time together more than i have with anyone else, as short as it was. When Joseph found me, and invited me to join him, i considered offering you money to come. To include you in Edens gate, to help us build it up from the ground, i certainly could of used your talents from time.” He paused watching her face. “Offering you money, you would of laughed at me, you never desired that.”

“I would of gone with you, just to go with you. Not for the money. I like your stubbornness, and cunning fierceness and most of all the great sex.” Elle replied giving him a smile. “If i had gone with you, I probably wouldn’t of been as scared to tell you about the twins. But the could of, should of scenarios can go in so many ways. And it makes no difference because we are in the here and now with what did happen. But, a full circle was made, I know this is where we need to be.”

Whoo, end of part two! I have definitely decided on more Elle stories to come!

[viralhottopics]

Not so haute: six writers on their biggest fashion mistakes

From tights on the beach to head-to-toe taffeta, writers reveal the outfits they regret

Kenya Hunt My version of day-to-night dressing was a night-time look worn all day

Despite working at a fashion magazine, Ive made a few sartorial mistakes. I comfort myself with the sentiment of an Instagram edict I saw: If youve never looked a little dumb, youre not having fun.

Id count the moment I met my husband as an off day, so it pains me no end that the clothes I wore have become a part of our marital lore. In his mind, the outfit is key to a story that must be retold, again and again: She wore a shiny shirt, tight jeans, big, gold hoop earrings, tall boots and a giant white furry jacket. And I said, I need to know this woman.

This visual loudness the metallics, the big proportions, the shaggy texture was my everyday look back in my late 20s, when I was living and working in New York. I dressed this way to please no one other than myself. I relished being able finally to buy and wear the labels I read about in magazines, but could never find in my suburban childhood home in Virginia.

My version of day-to-night dressing was basically a night-time look worn all day ready for whatever fun might happen later. Id think nothing of a morning commute in glittery Miu Miu heels or a gold Chlo sequin skirt. (To be fair, it was the era of high heels, flashy coats and skirts that were either very big and long, or very short.) No matter what the prevailing trend, Ive always had a soft spot for the razzle. For further proof, see this old image of me in Milan, in bright colour and print, layered on top of more colour and print.

Now, my wardrobe stands on a foundation of grey, navy and black, mostly because it suits my lifestyle and the London weather. I limit the flamboyance to my accessories (a bright shoe, big earring, bold handbag) or show it through shape, such as an enormous puffer jacket. Its just that now I choose pragmatic black rather than hot pink.

Theres a real joy that comes with loud dressing, because it requires a certain kind of go-to-hell spirit. Ive come to indulge this in a more restrained way, but I dont regret the mistakes. If I did, Id have divorced my husband a long time ago, for telling that story so very, very often.

Kenya Hunt is fashion features director of Elle.

Ruth Lewy: To think that this was my coolest look

Ruth Lewy, aged 20, with Dizzee Rascal.

It was May 2006 and I was coming to the end of my first year of university. I had just received my first proper student journalism commission: an interview with Dizzee Rascal. I borrowed a Dictaphone and hastily scrawled down three pages of uninventive questions (What is the best thing youve ever got for free?).

Now the important bit: my look. I loved Dizzee; I knew his two albums back to front and had mastered all the words to Fix Up, Look Sharp. What was I going to wear?

To think, looking back, that this was my very best outfit. My coolest look. Not one floral print top but two, a T-shirt layered over a shirt. Not one necklace, but two. (Made with beads collected while InterRailing around Europe. I know.) My curly hair was slicked back with Brylcreem. Off I went, looking like Laura Ashleys long-lost daughter.

He was courteous, holding eye contact and answering all my inane questions with grace. (The best thing he ever got for free? A lifetimes supply of trainers.) I stood up and shook his hand, and he invited me to his afterparty. The next student journalist sat down and went straight in with a question about homophobic lyrics and issues of representation in pop music, and I thought, Ohhhh, thats what journalism is.

The evening took a strange turn. My friends and I crowded into a bar on the high street, where Dizzee had a roped-off section at the back. It didnt take him long to zone in on my gorgeous friend L, persuading her to leave with him. We were agog.

Twenty minutes later, she was back, laughing her head off at the way he had clumsily propositioned her. She chose us over him.

What do I see when I look at this picture? I feel embarrassed at my choices. But Im also glad I spent my 20s dressing like a weirdo: it demonstrates a self-confidence that I dont think I appreciated at the time. These days, you could still file most of my clothes under eclectic, but Im much more careful, uninventive even. Now I tend to wear only one necklace at a time.

My interview never appeared in the end; the other journalist broke the embargo (she went on to write for the Daily Mail: go figure). I was left with only this blurry picture, a reminder of my youthful enthusiasm for floral prints, and an uncanny impression of Dizzee Rascals best chat-up line.

Ruth Lewy is assistant editor of Guardian Weekend.

Nosheen Iqbal: Everyone else on the beach was 89% naked

Nosheen Iqbal in Tuscany, aged 21.

I was a skittish 21-year-old in the mid noughties and I had, against my will, ended up on a Tuscan beach. It was the height of summer, but I was wearing thick black tights, thicker black skirt, black scarf and witchy pumps . Everyone else was dressed in 89% naked and the entire beach was rammed. Id been sent on a work trip with four other journalists who were, as far as I was concerned, super-old (fortysomething) and, I hoped, probably willing to buy my stubborn refusal to strip as some cool youth thing. (They didnt.) I made an attempt to style it out by looking casually moody, staring out to sea behind sunglasses, pretending not to notice my shoes sinking in the sand, legs looking like inky black stumps.

Why dont you take off your tights?

No.

What about if

No.

A couple of key things: the seaside was not on my itinerary and I hadnt packed for it. I didnt (and dont) own swimwear or a bikini, and I didnt (and dont) know how to swim.

Being Muslim is barely an excuse to look as daft as I did; there are chic ways to be modest by the sea childhood memories of Karachis Clifton beach were proof, where lawn cotton tunic and trousers were everyones friend. But being Muslim, plus an average level of body dysmorphia, was my bikini body ready get-out card. I knew there had to be more comfortable ways to be in public than permanently sucking my stomach in wearing what is, essentially, waterproof underwear. But 100-denier hosiery was definitely not the answer.

The general advice to give a shy 21-year-old should always be, Its not as bad as you think, to allay their disproportionate embarrassment. Except, in this case, the cringe levels are fully warranted; I havent been to a hot, sunny beach since.

Nosheen Iqbal is a commissioning editor for G2.

Morwenna Ferrier: I cant remember why I decided to cut off my hair

Morwenna Ferrier in Aldeburgh in her early 20s.

Other outfits have been more challenging. The mother-of-pearl bustier I wore to my graduation, say. Or, recently, the T-shirt printed with Valerie Solanass Scum manifesto I wore to meet a friends baby. But the outfit I am wearing here, worn on a walk along Aldeburgh beach in Suffolk, is the one I most regret.

It started a few months earlier when, in my early 20s, I decided to cut off my hair. I cant remember why. I imagine I fancied a change and, in fairness, I liked it. But then, I looked like a boy in a dress. I reacted by phasing out dresses and instead wearing drainpipes, striped T-shirts and headscarves. None of this was good. In the photo, Im wearing tight cropped trousers under the dress.

I had spent my late teens in dresses, grungy or flowery, with self-cut hems. It was a more innocent time, when I didnt really care what I wore. But the haircut triggered an anxiety.

What is it I regret? Back then it was the haircut; now, its that I ever worried about looking like a boy. I clearly hadnt been paying attention in those Judith Butler seminars; maybe I was still too attached to the binary. As my hair grew out, I started to care for the first time about how I looked. At 24, late in life, I became self-conscious.

Morwenna Ferrier is the Guardians online fashion editor.

Pam Lucas: I looked like a turkey at Christmas

Pam Lucas at a family party, aged 39.

As a single parent in the 80s, I was dirt poor. I didnt have the opportunity to make fashion faux pas because I didnt have any money. We shopped in jumble sales, and we had fun.

My family was invited to a party to celebrate my aunt and uncles golden wedding anniversary. I didnt know them that well, but my mum wanted me to impress them by looking modern. In the 80s, that meant puffy sleeves and big shoulders. My mother came with me to buy the outfit from BHS , so I had to comply. I was 39 at the time.

It was a beautiful colour between purple and lilac but I didnt like the synthetic fabric. It was watermarked all over and had a flared, taffeta skirt and a little jacket with a peplum. I looked like a turkey at Christmas, but it was such a fab party, I soon forgot how uncomfortable I felt.

In a way the outfit is a testament to my relationship with my mother. I was a grownup, with a child of my own, but she was still trying to keep hold of the mum bit of herself.

Pam Lucas is a model and appears regularly in All Ages.

Tshepo Mokoena: I settled on a vague hippy child look

Tshepo Mokoena at 19.

It would be nice if we could start over. To spare me, and others my age, a fair bit of niggling shame, by wiping all early photos from our Facebook accounts. Anyone who set up a profile between 2004 and 2009 now lugs around the digital baggage of horrible pictures of misspent youth and terrible outfits.

Case in point: this delight of a photo. I was 19, killing time between the second and third years of uni in Brighton. In a few weeks, my housemate and I would set off on an impulsive charity volunteering trip to Kerala because and I still cringe wed watched Wes Andersons The Darjeeling Limited.

Until my early 20s, my aesthetic consisted of not knowing when to edit. At 18, I would layer at least three beaded necklaces, two chunky bracelets, about 17 bangles and seven rings, for no good reason.

I attended secondary school in Harare, Zimbabwe, largely insulated from fashion, more concerned with my whizzing hormones than the latest velour tracksuit. I settled on a vague hippy child look at 15 and filled my wardrobe with earthy prints, flared denim and jewellery picked up in local markets. By 19, I looked like a substitute art teacher.

If youre old enough to have only private, analogue photography from your youth, or young enough to have crafted a near-fictional version of yourself online, youre spared the permanent reminder of your mistakes: 1,287 grim images owned by Mark Zuckerberg. I implore other twentysomethings to join me in calling for a digital purge. Its time.

Tshepo Mokoena is the editor of Noisey.

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