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blog-of-a-time-witch · 9 months

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The Good Guys Get Trashed

[ Editing Note from Lyb: This battle was written over the course of two weeks as a collaborative effort! The participants in this battle are credited at the bottom. The battle has been formatted to help readability and separated into Rounds. There is a TLDR summary at the end of each round, and one at the very end of the battle. For the AO3 version, click here. Please enjoy reading! ]

Introduction/Surprise Round:

Willy stands alone in the midst of a building’s ruins, examining a small object. High above, the Doodler works its influence over the land below, gently tugging and tearing at the minds of those foolish enough to visit Earth. Those fools are Henry Oak, and Glenn Close. Henry and Glenn teleport onto the plane using Henry’s Tree Stride spell and arrive near the ruins. They see the sole figure of Willy.

Henry holds out his arm to stop Glenn from rushing in, digging his heel into the hard dusty ground. Anger overtakes him as he catches sight of Willy, his veins thrumming with electricity as thunder cracks overhead, lightning crashing down from the suddenly darkened clouds at Willy.

Call lightning, target Willy, Dex Save 19 to hit, 62 damage on hit 31 on fail.

28 > 19, success.

Willy doesn’t look up as the lightning hits him, but he does place the thing he’s holding into his pocket before stretching a little.

As Junior, Birdie, and Hen step into the moment, they find themselves hidden just out of sight. Junior takes their hands off of the shoulders of the other two and peers out toward the scene where Henry and Glenn were confronting Willy.

"It's safe to open your eyes now," Junior whispers, glancing at Birdie and Hen.

After Hen opened his eyes, he looked around their environment. It was horribly barren—what kind of life could thrive here? Just rocks and dust. A lot of dust.

"Looks like they haven't s- ah… ah…" The slight movement of the three young teenagers was enough to send a light cloud of dust up from the dead earth. Unused to handling dust in any typical capacity, Junior's nose twitches. Before they can think, or even really realize what's about to happen, they sneeze. "A-CHOO!" A small flame bursts out with the sneeze, and the sound carries across the ruins with alarming ease. Junior claps their hand over their mouth, but it's too late.

Birdie turns very slowly to look at Junior, expression clearing communicating “Are you fucking kidding me right now?”

Hen was shaken out of his focus by a loud sneeze and a bright flaming light in the corner of his eye. Hen turns to Junior and looks at them in distress, then turns back to the adults who were preparing to fight. He readies his shield—a flimsy piece of decorative wood—and attempts to hide behind it.

Surprise Round TLDR: Henry tried to get a surprise attack on Willy, but it barely seemed to affect him. Birdie, Hen, and Junior appeared and tried to stay hidden, but Junior sneezed and gave away their presence.

ROUND 1:

Initiative Rolls:

Willy Stampler: 25 (AC 17)

Glenn Close: 23

Henry Oak: 22 (AC 16)

Hen Ry’Oak: 15 (AC 15, 14 w/o shield) [AO3]

Birdie Oak: 12 (AC 14) [AO3]

???: 9

!!!: 8 (reactions)

[REDACTED]: 2 (AC 13)

Junior Kels _ : 0 (AC 10)

[Willy's Turn]

Willy rolls his eyes as he finally looks up and acknowledges Glenn and Henry’s presence. He makes several gestures in Glenn’s direction, smirking lazily as he does so.

Mental Prison, target Glenn. DC 24 Intelligence saving throw– on failure take 32 psychic damage & bound to mental cell (area around target appears dangerous, target cannot see/hear and is restrained). On success take ½ damage. This spell fails if the target is immune to being charmed.

For Glenn, it feels somewhat reminiscent of his time in Meth Bay Supermax. His gaze becomes unfocused, as if he’s been hypnotized.

[Henry's Turn]

Henry looks in horror as Glenn’s eyes glaze over and panic overtakes him. Despite everything they’d been through Henry had never seen Glenn in any state he’d sort under the ‘flight’ of fight or flight response. “You fucking piece of- What did you do to Glenn?!”

He slams a hand down onto the ground, grasping vines shooting through the cracked hard earth trying to restrain Willy, he kicks off of the ground trying to close the distance between them as his form shifts and twists, Growing into a large brown bear.

Entangle, target Willy, save roll 19 strength to beat, restrained on failure.

Wildshape BA.

8 < 19, failure.

Willy looks somewhat surprised as he’s ensnared by the vines, and his muscles spasm briefly as lightning surges through him again. He manages to break out of them almost immediately though, and the expression fades.

Dex save, 31 > 19. Conc. save, 23 > 20. Legendary action: Escape restraints, 24 > 19.

[Hen's Turn]

Hen watches the battle in horror—he had never seen a fight on this scale before. He drops his shield on the ground and digs through his bag, throwing on a cloak.

Cloak of Invisibility — While wearing this cloak, you can pull its hood over your head to cause yourself to become invisible. While you are invisible, anything you are carrying or wearing is invisible with you. You become visible when you cease wearing the hood. Pulling the hood up or down requires an action. If physically attacked, Dex save (DC 12) to keep the hood on.

Perception check w/ a DC of 17 (Hen’s Dex score) to spot movement, Arcana check w/ a DC of 13 (Hen’s spell save DC) to spot the magic while actively looking.

He then leaves the hiding spot to stand next to Glenn.

[Birdie’s Turn]

Birdie is starting to get the idea that she might be a bit too in over her head here, but she didn’t show up to just not do anything. She takes a quick breath and summons a shimmering psychic blade to her hand before chucking it in Willy’s direction.

Attack roll 16+6=22. Damage with sneak attack bonus is 15 of psychic damage. She then uses her movement to run to the cover of a different rock, and then uses a cunning action to hide.

Stealth roll: 5+8=13

She…does not hide well, it’s not a very big rock and people tend to watch people after they throw knives at them, unfortunately.

Willy rolls his eyes but just straight up ignores her.

Henry sees the movement from the blade, tracking it backwards and turning his attention away from Willy. Spotting his daughter behind one of the rocks, fear immediately fills the pit of his stomach.

[Junior's Turn]

Junior watches Glenn crumple into a ball on the ground, wincing. Things were going worse than expected, and if they didn't do something to even things out soon, they'd all be in big trouble. Junior takes a breath and sits up so they have a clear view of Willy. Eyes flashing, the sound of a clock ticks around them, echoing until it reaches Willy's ears. Tick, tock. Tick, tock. The clock's ticking begins to lose speed as Junior Kels casts the spell Slow.

Slow, Wisdom Save 16.

20 > 16

Willy frowns but manages to shake off the droning tick that attempts to assault his ears.

Round 1 TLDR: Willy immediately incapacitated Glenn with a Mental Prison spell. Henry turned into a bear. Henry, Birdie, and Junior tried to attack Willy, but most of their attacks weren’t very effective. Hen used his Cloak of Invisibility to turn invisible and approach Glenn.

ROUND 2:

[Willy's Turn]

Willy takes a breath and begins to cast a spell. A ball of lightning forms and explodes immediately in front of Henry, Glenn, and Hen, although it catches Willy in the crossfire.

Fireball, 1 sorcery point spent to transmute from fire to lightning. 8d6 lightning damage, spell save DC 24 Dex. 28 damage on fail, ½ on success.

Hen fails, rolling a 14 on the Dex check. Takes 28 damage and is now in death saves. The hood falls off his head as he crumples to the ground and is now visible.

Henry fails rolling an 8. Taking 28 damage. He spots Hen and panics.

Glenn fails, rolling a 12. Takes 28 damage and is bloodied.

[Henry's Turn]

Henry, completely terrified, turns fully away from Willy, casting A heal on Glenn and Hen and then trying to tackle Glenn out of the mind prison.

Mass cure wounds 6d8+5 hit points return for Hen and Glenn.

[Hen's Turn]

Hen scrambles to his feet upon being healed and readies his Quarterstaff of Nature, slamming it into the ground in a panic. Vines erupt from the ground and lunge towards Willy.

Quarterstaff of Nature Attack: Thorn Whip — 1d6 + 5 piercing damage, dex spell save DC 13 (creature is pulled 10 feet towards you on fail).

Willy is yanked towards Hen– his expression twitches a little, but he points towards Henry and then gestures towards Hen.

Legendary Action: Crown of Madness– Wisdom saving throw, DC 24. Target must make a melee attack vs a creature other than itself that you choose before moving. It can act normally if none are in range. Target, Henry (instructed to attack Hen)

Henry turns and swipes at Hen (28 damage) shouting ‘Run! Take Birdie and Run!’

Hen can’t, as he is #dead.

[Birdie's Turn]

In a fit of panic, Birdie establishes Psychic Whispers with Henry. “Dad! Dad!”

You can establish telepathic communication between yourself and others. As an action, choose one or more creatures you can see, up to a number of creatures equal to your proficiency bonus, and then roll one Psionic Energy die. For a number of hours equal to the number rolled, the chosen creatures can speak telepathically with you, and you can speak telepathically with them. To send or receive a message (no action required), you and the other creature must be within 1 mile of each other. (currently 2 hours in this case)

Birdie upon seeing all the magic realizes that without spell casting the number of things she can do are pretty limited so she goes to throw another psychic blade because it’s kinda all she’s got atm.

Attack damage: 14+3(1 psionic die used) to get to 17, damage dealt 13 with sneak attack.

Bonus action: Birdie goes for a second psychic blade.

Attack Missed: 14 doesn’t hit the AC

She remembers Nicholas saying something about stealth being overall more helpful but she’s pretty sure he was saying that to make her feel better about being a rogue and not because it’s actually true.

[Junior's Turn]

“HEN!? Fuck!” Junior fumbles for their notepad and scribbles in it furiously. After writing the note, they shove the notepad away and start to run forward.

Movement: 30 feet to the diagonal/right, flanking Willy.

Bonus Action: Uses 2 sorcery points to cast Firebolt. (18 to hit, 17 damage)

Round 2 TLDR: Willy saw through Hen’s invisibility cloak and attacked him, knocking him out immediately. Henry healed Hen, waking him up, as well as Glenn, who was still trapped in the Mental Prison. Birdie and Junior continued attacking Willy. Henry was still a bear.

ROUND 3:

[Willy's Turn]

Willy makes a circular motion with his hands and the ground beneath Henry, Glenn, and the unconscious Hen flashes white.

Circle of Death - 8d6 necrotic damage. Con save DC 24 for ½.

Hen fails (14) and takes 28 damage. The child is #dead4real, as his match HP was 27 and he was already under zero.

Henry fails (19) and takes 28 damage. He mentally begs Birdie to get out of here.

Glenn fails (21) and takes 28 damage.

Willy rolls his eyes. “That wouldn’t have happened if you weren’t so fucking easy,” he drawls.

[Henry's Turn]

Henry, enraged, dives at Willy, slamming him backwards with the force of a bear and aiming for Willy’s neck with his teeth, intending to tear open his throat.

He mentally continues to beg, “Birdie please- Run! Get out of here- Please!”

26 to hit :) Nat 20!, 23x2(46 dmg) for attack and bite (18 to hit 7dmg )

Willy practically snarls as Henry tears at his throat. He looks tempted to do something, but… no. He has plans, you know.

[Birdie's Turn]

Birdie considers her father’s words but she can’t leave him here. That’s the whole point. She believed it would be less scary to know what was happening to him rather than try and imagine it from afar (though she’s starting to question that just the slightest bit) “I’m not going home without you!” she thinks.

She is scared though, missing with her blade last turn shook what little confidence she’d mustered, so, she uses her movement to run to another place of cover (still approximately 50 ft. from the center of the action) and does her best to hide

Stealth roll is 4+8 so 12 total…this is like a difficult terrain to hide in, okay?

[???’s Turn]

To the naked eye, the silver ring appears out of thin air. It falls from about three feet in the air and drops to the ground beside Birdie.

( 18+2 Athletics ) Glenn appears to suddenly fall from about a foot in the air, two meters outside of the illusory field of the Mental Prison.

And then a figure appears, a rather smallish figure in black clothes and chain armor with an odd, triangular shield raised in one arm. More specifically, the figure appears at the moment that they are bashing the shield into Willy's head ( 17+2 = 19 to hit, 1d4 damage...4! ).

As the Time Stop spell comes to an end, Psi Kelsey expends 2 sorcery points to Misty Step to 30 feet behind Willy, with the intention of drawing his attention away from the children. They smirk darkly, raising the yellowish, triangular, and very familiar-looking shield.

"Hope you like Doritos, bitch."

Willy rubs at his head and scowls. “Fucking christ,” he spits. He draws his hands across his chest sharply, and for a few moments nothing happens.

Summon Greater Demon.

A portal of golden flame appears, and one Lark Foster pokes his head out, frowning. “Seriously?” he mutters, stepping out fully. “I didn’t fucking want to– fine. Whatever. It’s fine. I get to make a fucking… it’s fine. I’ll be out later.”

Willy gestures to Henry. “Do what you have to.”

[Lark Foster's Turn]

“Let’s see…” Lark mutters. “I’d use acid, but that’s not– you know what? Cold’s fun. Let’s do that.” He points at Henry and casts Fireball. “Never said anything about splash damage, so…”

Fireball (1 sorcery point to change to cold damage). 8d6 cold, DC 17 Dexterity saving throw. Targets: Lark Foster, Henry, Willy Stampler.

Willy saves and takes 13 cold damage.

Henry fails , taking 33 damage.

Lark blinks, and then shakes himself. “Oh. Glad that’s over.”

29 > 24 Charisma saving throw.

[!!!]

Lark Foster takes no damage.

He frowns. “What the fuck?” he says, to nobody.

[Junior's Turn]

Sighing in relief to see the cavalry had arrived, Junior starts to… cry? No, Junior’s gonna get angry. That’s my secret, Cap, I’m always angry…

Action: Attack. Firebolt. ( 14 to hit, misses. )

Bonus Action: Spends 2 sorcery points to attack. Firebolt. ( 11 + 8 = 19, hit. 15 damage.)

The redhead grinned as, while the first bolt of flames streaked past Willy, the second blasted into him solidly.

Round 3 TLDR: Willy cast an area of effect spell that instantly killed Hen. Henry (still a bear) tried to tear out Willy’s throat. Birdie hid. Psi and Lark Foster joined the fight. Junior was Junior.

ROUND 4:

[Willy's Turn]

Willy glances over at Junior and then looks over to Psi, looking between everyone to decide who to target. He smirks again as an idea hits him– he steps forward, and with a loud crash of thunder, is near where Birdie is.

Thunderstep - Each creature within 10ft of space you left takes 3d10 thunder damage. Con save (DC 24) for ½ damage.

Henry fails, taking 19 damage.

Glenn fails (# nat one!!), taking 25 damage. He is in death saves <3

[Henry's Turn]

Henry in a pure panic rushes at Willy, shifting out of wildshape and throwing himself between Willy and Birdie, panting with exertion, bloodied.

“Stay the fuck away from my daughter.”

Sprint action; Healing word 9d4+5 returned health on Glenn

Glenn is no longer in death saves and is stabilized.

[Birdie's Turn]

Birdie grabs the ring off the ground, then runs using her full movement and dash to get 75 feet away from Willy and continuing to kind of circle the area where combat had previously been happening.

Willy rolls his eyes as Birdie flees. That’s fine, but he thought she might have wanted to watch this part. He points at Henry and whispers, “Power Word Kill.”

Power Word Kill - Kills creature with <= 100 HP.

Henry’s eyes widen and realizing he has less than seconds left he uses the mental connection to say,

“I’m sorry Birdie, I love you, tell your mom I love her too.”

Tragically all Henry gets as a return on the mental link is just screaming…also probably audible screaming…there’s just a lot of screaming going on here.

Henry drops to the ground.

[Psi’s Turn]

Watching Henry fall to the ground, Psi’s jaw tightens. They narrow their gaze on Willy and lift their free, non-dorito-shield wielding hand. They allow the rage to flow through them freely, and a bright, red-hot energy begins to radiate off from them. A sudden spectral light illuminates the wasteland, capturing Willy’s form in an instant.

Sunburst. Con Save 19. 39 Radiant damage if fail (+ Blindness for 1 minute), 18 Radiant damage if succeed.

They aren’t done yet, and as the fires of hell burn red hot within them, Psi speaks the spell’s name with all the ire in their bones.

Fireball, 2 SP spent to cast as bonus action. ( Let me know if I missed something and someone is nearby. ) Dex Save 19. 49 damage if fail, 24 damage if succeed.

“Picking on little kids, old man?” Psi calls out, stalking toward Willy ( 10 ft movement ) “That’s disappointing. And after I spent so long waiting for this fight.” They crack their neck, and although they grin, revealing a sharp set of demonic fangs, there is no joy in their eyes: only fury.

13 < 19

28 > 19

Willy winces as the flash of light encompasses him, pressing a hand against his eyes. “Motherfucker,” he spits. He very much wishes he had another use of Power Word Kill right about now.

Despite being blinded, he manages to sidestep most of the fireball blast.

[Lark Foster’s Turn]

Lark, who looks like he was preparing to fight Willy, decides that Psi has that handled actually. He opens a portal next to Birdie and tries his best to keep up with her. “Do- do you want to go? Because I can get you the fuck out of dodge. If you want.”

[Junior's Turn]

Junior can’t pass up the opportunity to try getting in an attack on Willy, so they mimicked their elder self for a moment and cast Firebolt.

Firebolt. To Hit (advantage due to Willy’s Blindness) Roll 1: 12. Roll 2: 16.

The bolt narrowly misses, and Junior curses.

Seeing Lark approach Birdie, Junior narrows their eyes at him.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing? Get away from her!" They start to run toward Lark and Birdie, preparing to chase Lark away if necessary.

Round 4 TLDR: Glenn got put into death saves by Willy, but Henry healed him. Birdie started to run away. Willy used a legendary action to cast Power Word Kill on Henry, killing him instantly. Psi attacked Willy and managed to blind him. Lark started trying to get Birdie to leave the battlefield with him.

Round 5:

[Willy’s Turn]

Willy grits his teeth and jabs a finger in Psi’s general direction, cursing under his breath.

Finger of Death - 7d8 + 30 necrotic damage. Constitution saving throw for ½. DC 24. Humanoid killed rises as zombie next turn.

Psi feels a wave of negative energy wash over her. Gritting their teeth, they power through the attack and shake it off by remembering the people they care about. Some of whom may die today if they can’t keep their shit together.

Con Save: Natural 20 + 10 = 30. 15 damage taken.

“Oh no, my feelings!” they shout sarcastically.

Hey Willy, get ready to make a Dex save. Slore. DC 19

26 > 19, saves.

Psi raises her middle finger at Willy to cast Hellish Rebuke as a reaction, at the 3rd Level.

3d10 is the original damage, halved by the save. 19 rolled, 9 damage taken.

Finally aware of the gravity of the situation, Glenn does the only thing he can think of: protect Henry’s kid. (Definitely not thinking of Henry and Henry alone, no!) He raises his hands towards Birdie, and a shimmering field surrounds her.

[Birdie’s Turn]

Birdie pivots, completely disregarding Lark and begins sprinting back towards her dad. Whether she’s ignoring him intentionally or she just can’t hear him over her screaming is hard to say. As she gets within 60 ft of Willy, she throws a psychic blade more out of panic than any conscious choice.

Attack roll: 13 (it misses but not like…as embarrassingly as it would have been if it was a 7 also crying can mess with your aim)

She dashes to Henry’s side and collapses on the ground next to him screaming and begging for any kind of response or reaction, but of course none of that happens.

[Psi’s Turn]

They take a steadying breath and stay focused. Hearing Birdie’s anguished crying is absolutely heart-wrenching, but they have to keep Willy from turning his attention back to the kids.

Just as when Junior attempted to cast the Slow spell, the sound of a clock ticking begins to surround the fucking old man. This time, however, it was more pronounced, each tick ringing clear as a bell.

Slow: Wisdom Save DC 19

Then, expending 2 sorcery points to make their next spell casting time a bonus action, Psi casts… Firebolt.

To hit: ( 9 + 11 = 20 ) , ( 16 + 11 = 27 )

Damage Taken: 17 (spent 1 sorcery point to reroll damage)

“What’s wrong, Willy?” They call out tauntingly, trying to keep his attention away from the kids and Henry. “Are you too used to fighting people weaker than you? Letting yourself go soft, just like your dick?”

Willy, despite being unable to see, rolls his eyes and gestures vaguely in Psi’s direction. “Hey, you know what they say. Enjoy it while it lasts.”

Finger of Death + Heightened Spell - Finger of Death - 7d8 + 30 necrotic damage. Constitution saving throw for ½. DC 24. Humanoid killed rises as zombie next turn. + Spend 3 sorcery points to give one target disadvantage on its first saving roll to resist the spell.

Well, fuck. Psi flinches as the same negative energy from before batters his mind.

12 with disadvantage, other roll was a dirty 20. 72 damage taken.

“Ack!” He stumbles, clutching his head as an unbearably sharp pain runs through his skull as if it were lightning. The attack leaves Psi looking rattled, a cold sweat forming as he forces himself to stay standing. “Heh. You really do play dirty.”

[Lark’s Turn]

“Hey, what the fuck?” Lark turns to chase after Birdie as his eyes start to glow and fire appears in bursts as he keeps running.

Bonus action: Mantle of Flame.

He sighs and points in Birdie’s general direction as she runs. “D– I don’t want to kill you, can you stop running?”

(16 + 5 [Mantle of Flame bonus] to hit) Chaos Bolt (casting at level 2) - Bolt shoots target for 2d8 + 2d6 damage. Roll 1d8 twice for damage type. Spending sorcery point to ensure it’s fire damage.

Birdie takes 13 damage (is she screaming in physical or emotional pain? Probably both)

[Junior’s Turn]

“Shit! Birdie– leave her ALONE!”

Junior, panicking but not wanting to do major damage, casts a hasty Firebolt at Lark.

Rolled a 14 to hit. Does 4 damage.

They keep running, trying to catch up with Lark and Birdie.

Round 5 TLDR: Psi distracted Willy while Birdie ran over to Henry.

Round 6:

[Willy’s Turn]

Willy rolls his eyes again and makes a broad flicking motion with one of his hands. “We have fun around here,” he mutters. “Parry this, you shitty fucking… trickster deity.”

Synaptic Static + Twinned Spell - Creatures INT 3+ take 8d6 psychic damage (INT save for ½.) On failed save, target has muddled thoughts for 1 minute, subtracting 1d6 from ability/attack rolls and CON saves for concentration. Target can make another INT save at the end of their turn.

Targets: Lark Foster + Psi, DC 24

Lark, with all the force of a Natural One slamming into him, pauses dead in his tracks, yelps, and clutches at his head. He… ugh, what the fuck was he thinking about…?

[!!!]

Lark Foster takes no damage. Psi takes half.

Psi’s head begins to swim with the echoes of past memories, and they take 16 damage. They look around in confusion, struggling to separate reality from what they recalled of fights before. Living this long can really take a toll on a mind, even one that is no longer mortal.

They tilt their head, with the briefest notion in their mind that something was not right about what just happened, but their cloudy mind loses the thought a moment later.

“SHIT!” Glenn yells, running using his 30ft of movement + 30 feet of dash action to reach Henry. “Uh...shit. Look, eh...I can help, I just need you to...stop crying. Please?” (Rolling a 2 for persuasion, making a total of 9)

[Birdie’s Turn]

Birdie slips the ring on her finger, worried that she’ll drop it if she doesn’t, (under normal circumstances she might question the wisdom of putting on a rogue and clearly magical piece of jewelry, but she trusts Kels, they’re friendship bracelet buddies, after all) and buries her face into her dad’s shirt. “Dad…we…we have to go home to mom…I can’t…I can’t go home without you.” She is sobbing. Everyone had told her this would all work out and everyone would be okay, but just as she suspected, everyone had been lying.

[Psi’s Turn]

Action: Fireball. Dex DC 19 Save. ( 30 dmg rolled, half taken on successful save ) Aimed not directly at Willy, but about 10 feet away from him, between him and Psi.

Psi has a -1 to Int Saving throws, and cannot possibly make the DC 24 save to end their Muddle Thoughts.

Psi hears the words, “You’re testing my patience,” in their head and the muddled thoughts end.

“What the fuck was that? Navi, that you? Hey- Listen-”

[!!!]

In the instance that Psi [not Psi, they're at a distance], Birdie or Lark Foster were to receive damage from the fireball they simply do not. Problem solved.

Birdie feels the heat of the fireball washing over where she’s curled up next to her father, but finds that, unlike before with the attack from Lark, it doesn’t hurt. She’d probably have questions if she weren’t so goshdarn sad.

Glenn, however, rolls a nat 20 (24 total) to dodge the fireball with a lot of expletives yelled in Psi’s direction.

[Lark’s Turn]

Lark, still feeling the adverse effects of a fucking Natural One, keeps one hand on his head as he shakily opens a portal and casts a spell.

Lightning Lure - Target is pulled 10’ in a straight line towards you, then takes 1d8 lightning dmg if it’s within 5’ of you (STR save negates.) DC 17, targeting Birdie.

Birdie does not save.(6) She is yanked in Lark’s direction and takes 5 damage.

[Junior’s Turn]

Catching up to Lark, Junior sees him attacking Birdie and growls angrily.

Unarmed Strike, 14 to hit. 3 bludgeoning damage.

They punch him. That’s all. Back to the top of initiati-

Top of the initiative order? I think not. Someone wants to make two turns in a row. Willy, still blinded, jabs a finger in Psi’s direction once more. You know the drill, I think.

Finger of Death - 7d8 + 30 necrotic damage. Constitution saving throw for ½. DC 24. Humanoid killed rises as a zombie next turn. Target: Psi

Psi gets an 18, takes 66 damage.

Psi coughs, covering their mouth, but not before a spatter of red can be seen. They stumble… and fall forward. They don't get up.

Round 6 TLDR: Willy attacked Lark and Psi, giving them the Muddled Thoughts status effect. A strange voice spoke to Psi and freed them from the Muddled Thoughts, as well as protected Birdie from a Fireball’s splash damage. Willy used a legendary action to take an extra turn and attack Psi, knocking them out.

Round 7:

[ Willy’s Turn ]

Willy tosses a fireball in Psi’s direction too, just for fun. He has better things to do, really, but hey! A little fire never burned anyone.

Oh, wait.

Fireball (level 6) - Creatures take 8d6 + 3d6 fire damage. Con save for ½. DC 24.

Psi's Con Save: 22. Rolled 41. Halved for fire resistance. 20 dmg taken.

Nothing has gone right for Glenn. That poor kid Hen is dead. The man he was supposed to protect is dead. His child is there, for fucks sake! And that witch is hurt, too. Willy thinks he can just leave without a fight, he’s got another thing coming!

“Hey, asshole—HOLD IT!”

Fireball - 3rd Level — DEX 15 save at Willy (otherwise rolled 25 damage)

[11 + 13 = 24 > 15.]

Willy snorts as the fireball blasts him, but otherwise ignores Glenn. “Toodles,” he mutters, before finally casting Plane Shift, and…

…well, he’s… gone.

[ Birdie’s Turn ]

Birdie can’t focus on anything besides getting back to her dad…running back to his side as soon as the pull of the lightning lets up. She pulls off her backpack and starts digging through it, knowing there’s nothing in there that can help, but hoping that maybe she overlooked something.

[ Lark’s Turn ]

Oh my fucking god nobody is listening to him. Okay. He’s— no! He’s— he’s fine. He is great. Wonderful, even. He marches over to Birdie and tries to drag both her and her dad’s corpse (don’t think about that too hard, you can have a drink later) through the still-open portal.

16 - 1 = 15 strength opposed. Birdie opposes with a 19 dexterity.

[!!!]

Well steps out of a portal sighing and hefting Psi up onto his shoulder.

“Hello Lark. You fought well.”

Lark, for a brief moment, looks fucking livid, but it passes. “Hello, Father.”

[ Junior’s Turn ]

Junior, seeing that Birdie has no desire to follow Lark to Wherever The Fuck that portal leads, attempts to cast a spell on him and shove him away.

Reduce, cast as Bonus Action using Sorcery Points. Con Save DC 16

8 + 2 = 10 Pushing him away, Strength opposed. (If Reduced then make it at disadvantage)

The spell fails, and Lark shoves Junior away from him. They trip backward and land in the dirt.

Well frowns. “The fight is over Time Witch.”

Junior glares over at him and seems torn between trying to confront Well or defending Birdie and Henry's body from Lark.

Round 7 TLDR: Glenn attacked Willy with Fireball, but Willy planeshifted away from the battle. Well Actually appeared, apparently having been observing the battle from a distance.

After the Battle:

Yeah, Birdie overlooked something: this old guy who’s trying REALLY hard not to panic. Be proud of him, he’s done literally nothing this entire fight. He’s breathing heavily with honestly a pathetic attempt to keep his composure when his eyes are glistening with tears. Seeing Lark attempt to move Henry, Glenn unsheathes the Jaded Greatsword from its hilt and rushes at him. Shit, shit, shit, this has to work please let it work—

Wait, how does this work? And drives the sword through Henry’s heart. (Casting Revify instead of dealing damage.) Because obviously the heart = life, right? Except now there’s a LOT of blood pouring out of him.

“What? What the fuck are you doing? What the fuck are you doing?” Birdie looks over while holding a small box of bandaids.

Birdie takes 2 psychic damage.

Henry, who’s been previously unmoving, gasps. It takes a few seconds but slowly he opens his eyes, no longer laying limply in Glenn’s arms. He looks slightly out of it but alive. Undeniably alive.

“I thought I was a goner” he coughs out a laugh. “Thought in Disney movies it was a kiss, not a sword?” He gives Glenn an incredibly fond lopsided smile.

“Oh, shut up,” Glenn whispers, a smile forming in his expression. He gingerly hugs him, pressing his forehead against Henry’s. Definitely crying.

Junior gapes at the fact that someone just got brought back to life by getting stabbed for a second, then stands up and turns toward Well Actually, who has Psi slung over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" The red-haired teen spits viciously at him. "Put them down."

“No.” Well raises an eyebrow but makes no other indication that he gives any care whatsoever to what the teenager version of the time witch has to say. He turns part of his attention back to the mess of the battlefield, thinking for a moment before walking up to Birdie and awkwardly patting her on the head, healing her at the 8th level, easily replenishing her full health.

“You and your friends were not supposed to be here.”

Birdie is almost disoriented by being back to full health, as though not having any damage is almost unnerving after everything that happened, and her dad…he’s talking? And…how can it feel like everything’s changed while also being the same. But she looks up at Well. “I’m not sorry.”

Junior takes out their nunchucks and stares at Well.

Well gives Junior an incredibly bored look.

“Please refrain. I do not want to hurt you.”

He continues to look at the battlefield, attention turning to Lark instead.

“Do you want to be healed?” He smiles softly at Lark.

“…no.” He glances back at his portal, which is… still open! How long’s that been there? Weird. He starts to inch towards it. “I think… I think I’m going to… go.”

"Then get out of here already," Junior mutters, glancing at Lark. They don't like the creepy guy holding the older version of them. "Are you a kidnapper or some shit?" They ask Well.

“Okay, Lark.” he turns attention back to Junior “Oh. You do not yet have the memories. I am a friend. And…”

He frowns at the battlefield again. “I am done here. Goodbye.” Well opens a portal for himself and the time witch he is carrying and disappears through it, closing it as soon as he does.

"Hey, sto-" Junior doesn't get to finish yelling at Well before he disappears. They blank for a second and seem to prepare to scream some kind of obscenities, but stop when Psi steps in front of them. They're rubbing one of their eyes, slightly disoriented but unharmed. "What the fuck was that about?" Junior demands. Psi just shakes his head at them.

"Spoilers," they chide softly, and walk past them to check on Glenn and Henry.

Glenn glances around, now that everything is sort of...okay? Now? “Uh, what do we do with the sword?” he asks, mostly mumbling to himself.

“I’m kinda hoping you’re gonna take the sword out of me so I can heal myself” he chuckles and coughs a bit reaching up to put a hand on Glenn’s shoulder.

“Oh, you shouldn’t have to do that, just, uh—” Glenn readjusts himself to tug on this sword, releasing it from Henry’s chest with an ugly squish. He cringes a little before doing what good paladins do and squeezing Henry’s hand, casting Cure Wounds at a 5th level for 31 points of healing.

Henry smiles and pulls him down so he can kiss his cheek. “Thanks Glenn… you saved me, you weren’t kidding about being my knight in shining armor.”

Psi approaches the two from behind Glenn and looks Henry over. They glance at the sword and raise their eyebrows, impressed with the resourcefulness of these two.

“Glad to see you two again,” they say with a faint smile.

Henry seems to have a hard time pulling his attention from Glenn, but he does, having an even harder time placing Psi. “Uh I don’t think I- Hail and well met friend?” He sits up a bit, trying to remember exactly what happened in the fight before he died. The moment it starts to come back though he’s scrambling to his feet “Is Birdie okay?!”

Birdie is still just sitting on the ground, holding a box of bandaids and looking really out of it, but unhurt.

Henry rushes over to her side as fast as he can, checking her over, relieved “oh- Oh God you’re okay- Birdie- I’m so sorry-“ he isn’t even sure how to formulate the multiple questions and apologies he wants to so he settles on just pulling Birdie into a hug. “Oh god you’re okay…”

Birdie wiggles a little in his embrace and it’s a bit difficult to tell if this is her attempt to get away or not, but then he feels a band aid being pressed across the bridge of his nose. (the band-aid is super cute btw).

Still being fairly roughed up and having less than a quarter of his usual health, it takes him a moment to process what’s happening, smiling softly when he does. “I’m okay Birdie… we’re okay…It’s going to be okay”

Birdie doesn’t say anything in response, but her expression calls bullshit.

Glenn doesn’t want to talk to Birdie because he is certain he will make things worse. He doesn’t know her, she doesn’t know him, he stabbed her dad...it just wouldn’t work out. Instead, he glances up at Psi. “Uh. You good?”

Psi looks down at Glenn with a faint chuckle and offers a hand to help him up. “Yeah, I’m good. How ya doin’, ‘old man’,” they say, although there seems to be an affectionate tone laced under the words.

He takes their hand, using them to hoist himself up. “Nothin’ Advil won’t fix,” he chuckles. “Glad to see you made it out of there. Who was that guy that healed you?”

Psi leans back to give Glenn a little more leverage, and steps back after he’s to his feet.

“That was Well Actually… You only met him briefly in your time, before you were imprisoned. He’s-” Psi frowns, thinking. “He’s usually someone who plays by the rules, but the way he helped out was a little… odd.”

Glenn looks surprised. “Really? Huh, can’t remember. I mean, at least he...helped?”

“Yeah,” Psi agrees half-heartedly, staring into the middle distance for a moment.

“But he doesn’t have any stake in what we do, right?” he asks, vaguely gesturing to the empty-ish battlefield. “So what’s he doing saving you?”

“I’m not really sure,” Psi admits, shaking his head. “He says he wants to be friends, but I thi-” And they stop, because Junior has started shouting at Henry. Without finishing their sentence, they take a step and vanish.

Meanwhile, Junior has been checking on what appears to be the body of Hen. They’re leaning over him, hand shaking while holding a healing potion. [ 18 on perception :( ] They stare down at him, not sure why he’s that still. They’re trying to prop him up to use the potion, ignoring the way his body is unnaturally cold.

“C-c’mon, idiot,” they mutter. “You gotta- gotta drink the potion.” They pour the blue liquid unsteadily into Hen’s mouth, but it flows out too easily. He doesn’t sputter or even stir at the unfamiliar sensation. “Hen, come on. Hen. Hen!” The bottle is empty, and Junior drops it to the ground, where the bottom caves in with a crack. They grab Hen’s shoulders and begin to shake him. In their voice, a breathy panic begins to creep in as they start to shout. “Hen! HEN! WAKE UP! WAKE THE FUCK UP!” They gasp for air, fighting not to break down as the lack of response tells them everything. Junior can’t accept the obvious reality. Breathing faster, their fingers dig into Hen’s shoulders. They try to shout again, but their throat is dry and tight, and all they can do is gasp for air. No, this isn’t how it should have fucking gone. The next sound to leave their lips is a broken sob.

Birdie hears Junior shouting and glances over her dad’s shoulder. “Dad…Dad, something’s wrong.”

“S-shi- shoot- okay- uh let me go help okay?” He pulls back from the hug and stands again, Birdie taking his hand as he moves to Junior’s side “hey- can I see? Maybe- maybe I can help?” He carefully puts a hand on Junior’s shoulder. “Try and not look okay? Focus on me for a second- uh-“

“Don’t FUCKING TOUCH me!” Junior snaps at Henry, tear-filled glare rising to burn at him. “This is YOUR fault! If you weren’t trying to go after that fucking guy, Hen and Birdie wouldn’t have wanted to follow you!”

Henry pulls his hand away quickly, before he can even apologize Junior is shouting and it’s honestly echoing a fear he’d been trying to ignore since seeing Birdie behind the rock at the start of the fight.

“Junior.” Psi appears behind Junior, unceremoniously pulling the younger witch to their feet by the back of their denim jacket. [ 23 Perception ] Psi looks at Junior, a few emotions flitting across his face, before he turns them around. “Come over here. He’s not going to hurt Hen, I promise.” To Junior’s chagrin, Psi’s superior strength doesn’t leave them much choice as they are forced to make space for Henry to examine Hen’s body.

Henry, frowning and trying to push away the thought that he definitely was at fault for this, leans over Hen, checking him over and casting cure wounds- but it has no effect. He takes a moment and checks him over again, pausing as he looks at his face. “Fuck.”

Birdie gives his hand a small squeeze in response to his cursing, she doesn’t really feel like talking, but wants him to explain what’s happening, she’s gathered that Hen is dead. Willy was able to take her father out with a single word, that’s not a surprise at this point. But she doesn’t know how to think about it or how to feel, all of those resources were used up in the fight, and she just feels sort of empty.

“He isn’t- he isn’t here. I-“ he takes a deep breath. “He’s back in Oakvale.” He looks to Glenn “he was a homunculus- he’s got the same mark that-“ he slowly stands. “We… we should go back right? We should- we should get him out-“

“No!” Birdie is still on the ground next to Hen. She’s gingerly removing his friendship bracelet and putting it on her wrist next to her own. “You’re not going anywhere.” She puts as much authority into her voice as she can, but it’s not particularly impressive, and actually wobbles a little bit.

Persuasion 12

Dc 10, pass

Henry’s eyes widen and he turns to look at Birdie. “I- okay- I’m sorry… I won’t go anywhere…” he pulls her back into a hug.

Birdie tries to start sorting through her emotions, but they’re still just too tangled. Plus she’s a little scared that once she starts pulling on that thread, everything will just fall apart. Relief, however, that emotion feels safe. So she just rests in the hug and tries to believe Henry.

Glenn casts Message — target: Henry. “Don’t worry, I’ll go burn down Oakvale. ;)”

Henry replies mentally: “Thank you Glenn… I- I really appreciate it” it sounds like he wanted to say something else but chickened out.

Junior turns to look at Psi.

“We’re gonna go get Hen, right?” they ask pleadingly, eyes still wet. Unswayed, Psi shakes their head and reaches into the small bag at their hip. [ Trigger warning for needles and syringes. ]

“No,” they say, and pull out a small syringe. “Turn around and lift your hair out of the way.”

Junior starts to pull away from Psi, frowning at him.

“What? No, we have to get Hen and I need to remember what happened so it doesn’t happen again.”

“You know the rules, Junior.” Psi sounds tired, but attempts to be gentle. “It’ll be alright. We’ll make a note.” Junior makes a resentful grunt and turns away, but does move their hair aside. Psi carefully uses the magical item to remove Junior’s memory of the fight. They place the memory into a vial, where it swirls as a cloudy silver liquid.

Junior blinks dazedly after the fact.

“Psi? Uh… oh.” They look around, then pull out their notebook. Psi takes it and flips to a new page to write a note. “Oh, hey- the Little one is at Birdie’s house,” Junior says suddenly. Psi nods, and hands back the notebook.

“I’ll get her after helping these guys get back. I suggest doing page twelve next,” Psi says, patting Junior on the shoulder. The red-haired witch nods, and opens to that page in their notepad. They take a step, and disappear, leaving Psi holding the vial of liquid memory and frowning.

Henry picks Birdie up. “Let’s go home okay?” He holds a hand out to Glenn. “Ready Glenn?”

“We can’t just leave him,” Birdie whispers.

Glenn takes it. “Yeah, just...I dunno, is a funeral appropriate? For the, uh...body. He’s alive.”

“It’s not him… he’s- he’s fine- it’s just clay and magic…” Henry looks tense, squeezing Glenn’s hand. “He’s back in Oakvale Birdie- he’s alive…”

Birdie starts shaking, it’s just hitting her that this whole time Hen had a back up and Junior had multiple versions of themself that could come to the rescue, but she’s just Birdie. She hadn’t had a plan or…or spells…or… instead of thinking about it too hard, she rests her head in the crook of Henry’s neck and tries to feel his pulse with her forehead.

Psi pockets the vial and walks over to Hen's body, scooping it off from the ground. They straighten and turn to look at Henry.

"I hope you don't mind if I tag along. There's something I need to do at your house."

“That’s- you’re on our side, right? It should be fine?” He sighs and casts Tree stride on one of the only remaining trees in the area, stepping through with Birdie and Glenn in tow.

Psi doesn't answer verbally. They glance once over their shoulder, then take a step and leave the empty battlefield.

After the Battle TLDR: Glenn revived Henry using a magical artifact. Well Actually healed Psi. Hen was revealed to have been a homunculus the entire time, and his real body is still in his Oakvale.

- - - End of Battle - - -

Battle TLDR: The good guys got thoroughly trashed. Willy trapped Glenn in a Mental Prison right off the bat, then proceeded to kill both Henry and Hen. Psi and Lark showed up part way through the fight, Psi having been brought by Junior and Lark having been summoned by Willy. After Willy left the battlefield, Glenn revived Henry using a magical sword. Hen was not revived, and Henry pointed out that he was a homunculus all along. Well Actually revealed himself and healed some of the survivors. Lark, Well, and Junior each left separately. Henry, Birdie, Glenn, and Psi returned to the Oak-Garcia house.

Battle Participants:

Willy @fisherman-with-a-plan

Henry @henry-is-o-a-k

Glenn @too-cool-4-meth-bay

Hen @princehen

Birdie @justalittlebirde

Lark @lark-foster

Junior and Psi @blog-of-a-time-witch

Well Actually @well-actually-youre-wrong

Thank you for reading. =)

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