#do my programming home work

[10yearsofdnp]

April 21, 2015: You know, I'm starting to think that maybe they should've stayed in Japan after all--I mean, it's not like they HAVE to do the YouTube thing from London, right? 😂😴🦋

[cuddleswinchester]

Job searching sends me between euphoria at all the new things I can explore! And then just the most miserable pathetic begging and pleading worthlessness of all time.

Can’t help but remember my senior year job fair in college which I helped ORGANIZE by the way and I had fabulous grades, I met with all the reps that came and gave them tours and answered their questions and brought them refreshments and my classmates ended the day being offered like accounting positions and marketing positions and international market positions and the rep from cracker barrel asked if I wanted to be a hostess there on weekends when I didn’t have class. So like something is wrong with me.

[handweavers]

Wait I’m turning 28 soon and I still have my socially anxious and agoraphobic tendencies sometimes but therapy did nothing for me… I feel fine but I also work from home… what other tips do you have ? 😭

i think aside from the cbt stuff, for me part of it was forcing myself to do things that terrified me so badly that everything else became manageable in comparison (which i do not know if i can recommend for others but it did help me lol) - i joined a theatre program in high school that did shakespeare productions at the professional theatre in my city and i was given major roles, so after performing on stage in front of large crowds of people the idea of being seen at the grocery store was no longer terrifying in comparison.

another part of it was unpacking why i had those feelings, and addressing the roots of the issue. a lot of social anxiety was response to abuse via my bio father, a form of social hypervigilance that protected me from him but harmed me otherwise, and working through that trauma was key. understanding that it was him who i was afraid of, and that other people do not have the same power over me, and even he does not have the same power over me that he did when i was a child, has helped me immensely.

in hindsight, a lot of it was also gender dysphoria which i didn't realize until i was 19 when i began to socially and medically transition. i didn't have the words or the insight or the knowledge to grasp what i was feeling as a child wrt dysphoria, especially given that my social anxiety became most severe when i was going through puberty. i reacted by overcompensating for my femininity because that was the only way i felt i could bear to be seen in public. when i rarely did go outside, it was always fully dressed in skirts and makeup and jewellery with my hair done. i was very pretty (in hindsight, i did not feel it at the time) but i was very miserable. dressing in a masculine way was not the solution, as it was not really my presentation that bothered me - that i could control, and i sincerely like a lot of things that are typically seen as 'feminine' in this culture - but the things i could not control, and i was unable to put my finger on the reason why.

i would humbly suggest that if you found that cbt and other therapy for social anxiety didn't work (which could be for many reasons, most of which have nothing to do with you) that examining the root of your fears surrounding other people and trying to address those whether it be due to trauma or some other reason(s) , and notice if your agoraphobia and social anxiety ease as a result. everything is wrapped up in everything and you cannot address one part of yourself without addressing the whole of you.

[hotasfahrenheit]

[My Stand-In 1.09] | [DPR Ian - Limbo]

don't waste your tears on somebody you can't even save throw me down to the wolves it's where i belong see you on the other side where our worlds will collide take what's yours just leave me in two pieces i left my heart down in the basement where all the ravens take their turn picking at what's left of me i took you out of my existence only to crawl back into your arms knowing how much it will take away do you think we are really dreaming? can someone tell me where i am? i'm running out of sand i took you out of my existence only to crawl back into your arms knowing it will make me go insane

[xmoonlitxdreamx]

i found some wacky way to make borderless printing work...!!! it's not perfect but idk it might b ok enough until i can get a decent guillotine cutter and cut a bunch of sheets at once to size. I'll try experimenting with printing my comics and stuff sometime!!!!!

[pynkhues]

Re: ascribing morality to monsters. Sorry to resurrect a dead thread but I think there’s also a need to make one party “right” and one party “wrong” when really, they all had their moments of right and wrong and good and bad because people (or in this case vampires) are inherently complex and nuanced. Like I’ve seen people be like “Armand was the healthier partner” and that’s laughable to me, because while I will concede there are things he knew how to do well such as give Louis space and quiet or just have nights in, which admittedly was something Lestat struggled with. I don’t think it’s an accident the “Baby Lou” play was a recreation of one of Louis greatest traumas- which was Paul’s suicide on the wedding day. He could have healed Louis after he went into the sun with his blood. He also dangled Lestat in front of him but didn’t tell him a key part of his message. He’s a mean little fucker when he wants to be. We talk at length about Lestat’s flaws, but they all have them. It’s good character building. That’s the point. Modern audiences are afraid of that. (I still want Louis and Lestat to work it out, even after everything).

(x)

Don't apologise, anon! I agree with you. I'm actually kind of fascinated by this intersection between modern fandom, shipping, moralising and virtue signalling that seems to be becoming endemic, in no small part because I'm just sort of baffled by it. I think a lot of it boils down to the social media echo chambers and the desire to turn fandom and shipping into something between a sport and political activism, the former of which has been bolstered by capitalism and the commercialisation of fandom (I'm thinking of things like the Team Edward/Team Jacob Twilight craze which really made shipping competitive in a way I'm not sure it was before that), and the way social media has broken communities and further individualised culture so that many find what they say online more important than what they do in real life, if that makes sense?

(It doesn't help that the breakdown of the social contract and the shift towards fascism and authoritarianism has infiltrated fandom either, which I've talked about before).

But yeah, I mean arguing which relationship is healthier, or which character is better on a show like IWTV (on any show, honestly), is a bit silly to me, and pretty far removed from the point of it all. I do think a lot of it is happening in bad faith in this particular fandom too, which is a bit shit.

[kitnita]

i had not left my apartment since my last non-final class of the semester on wednesday and i think it made me evil. lowkey. i saw PEOPLE in STARS JERSEYS and also DOGS and SMALL CHILDREN and i got a LARGE ICED COFFEE for TWO DOLLARS & FIFTEEN CENTS from 7-11 and felt the sun on my skin and also A PERFECT SPRING-LIKE BREEZE and i feel like 2000x more human and like there's hope in the world again. the rockies just ate shit and lost in their typical fashion because sometimes the universe orchestrates perfect harmonies.

[valiantwolf]

it is honestly a crime that i have to do my laundry every week for the rest of my life

[youvebeenlivingfictional]

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[unheavenlycreatures]

update: local lesbian forced to learn at least very basic coding. 7 dead 32 injured

[werewolfdog]

The fact there are many folks who are just beyond weak at working at the healthcare field, specifically based on instructing + looking after group home disabled residents. It's so heartbreaking and frustrating hearing my coworkers complain about certain clients or say anything negative regarding them, such as how they're annoying or they, the coworker, just want to hit them. Yes, some folks have certain behaviours and mannerisms and mindsets that one may not personally enjoy or feel comfortable, but they are still humans ( or whatever they wish to identify as ) with real thoughts and emotions in the end. As long as they're not saying or doing genuine harm to others and / or themselves that must be changed to healthier forms of attitudes, why should the disabled clients have to be seen as being lesser than us, the staffs in which some aren't any better for treating and seeing the clients like burdens.

[thewingedwolf]

i’m home but one more complaint. she was asked for a book on how to write a memoir. took the lady to a section, clearly didn’t get any hits. came back and asked me “what should i do.” i literally just googled “dewey decimal for writing instructions” and said “try that section” while they were over there i checked the catalog & it’s not even a hard title to just blindly type for i could have put in “memoir writing” and got it by narrowing search parameters a bit. she has her mlis btw.

[thenightisland]

migraines are so stupid it would be one thing if it was just a headache but no god forbid instead your entire body can just rebel against you and make you too nauseated and vertigo-riddled to so much as move your head and light and sound hurt and you feel weak and hungover for who knows how long with none of the fun of being drunk and you're like okay body why are you acting like this what are you mad about and your body answers with "barometric pressure" or "light bulbs"

[merf-txt]

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[ssruis]

Going through a straight up comical amount of irritating situations to get the stupid 4* guaranteed ticket from the welcome to sekai campaign. It Will Be Mine.

[lighthouseas]

on another note i fucking hate my theater director. lol

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