#do you know what ratemydrawings is?

[genericpuff]

shoutout to linkreaper1987, who walked so i could run \(￣︶￣*\))

[hanabus-a]

okay so I've been holding myself off from making another long text of me rambling and melodrama as per usual, but hey

lunar new year is in a month and this year will be the final zodiac child design I have to come up with, as a tradition I've been keeping up since 2011

idk it's just insane to me it will be 12+ years since I started doing digital art. I remembered when ratemydrawing was still up and it was basically mouse-friendly and browser-based art program that you could casually draw with other people too.

I have so much thoughts about my art journey.

It's kind of, accelerated since 2016 when I went full freelance? No more doodling for shits and giggles. Attempts to get DMCA from Disney. Being a total shitfuck edgelord and had an absolute blast from it.

During my beginning years I had those constant questions like "uh why artists put so much distance to their audience!! I want to befriend with a cool artist", and now it's 2022, yeah, you know why.

It's kinda funny like, back then I vowed to be fair and friendly to everyone I came across. Even the tiny art forum I was in back then, we'd had a really bad troll and I was a totally good boy and just tried my best to accommodate who came across. I remembered, the troll said to me "Kan, I thought you were the only nice one in here" when I finally reprimanded them.

Oh boy did it took me a decade long to learn about boundaries and I'm still clueless how to establish my own boundaries without being self conscious as fuck.

Twelve Years, I've tried running shop, tabling, selling my first book, flying aboard, being.. something. And finally got my own trauma related to my arts. An entire 12 years journey of being an "artist".

It's like, huh, back then I always wondered why older artists are salty and evasive as fuck. Why some artists are overprotective of their arts. Why some artists are like scary and serious.

I guess I've become scary and serious.

I guess what considered a tool for me to connect with others is now a suspension bridge which is going to take me down when the time comes.

Would the me 12 years ago be jealous of this.