#does that count as kishiyu...

[kannawandering]

I have to say that I'm impressed by how 1st TL Kishiar was very, very visibly doing his best to protect Yuder's feelings, and still managed to do it in the most hurtful way possible.

It takes a special kind of man to absolutely ruin one's perception of companionship forever while simultaneously setting a standard for how much one can be loved.

[yudrein-aile]

I have reached ch 400 of turning. Kinda obsessed with the difference between the two timelines Kishiyu... Yudrain is like. Young! And doesn't understand politics that well. And there's so much baggage. And meanwhile Yuder is like. 30. He's constantly like "ah these young kids". There's still baggage but he is so much older and experienced and Kishiar responds to that differently than he did + different circumstances (like. Ch 400. Full info not yet revealed). Anyway I came to !!! Because idk who else to !!! At about this

Please !!! here any time, I love hearing your thoughts! sorry you're getting a whole god damn essay reply i had to put a read more.

Yuder is, and continues to be, incredibly harsh on his younger self, especially at the start, some of it is deserved - calling his younger self arrogant and quick to anger - but a lot of it, I think, is also just colored by how much was asked of him vs. how much he could do.

Yuder judges immediately in the first chapter that joining the Cavalry seemed "like a chance for dazzling success and thrilling adventures" as he had not "outgrown his boyishness". In the same paragraph he also judges that he didn't know anything about the intrigues and politics he'd find himself in, "that everything comes with a price, and that he was not well-suited for such pursuits".

In chapter 3 he straight up calls his twenty-year-old self "a poor country bumpkin with a gloomy expression".

So like, the impression we get of twenty-year-old Yuder, to me, is that of a 20 year old kid, who's not really socialized because his grandfather died seven years ago and he's been on his own ever since, and thinks that maybe getting to meet others like him, measuring his powers against them, would be fun.

Generally spekaing, the vibes I got from Yuder is that if he could, he would've done nothing but train all day. He's not interested in leadership, but then he's made Cavalry Commander. In chapter 2, he points out this rise in status himself:

"The previous Yuder had held a great deal of power and influence as the Cavalry commander of the Empire, but now he was nothing more than a young newcomer from the countryside. Who would actually listen to someone like that?"

Think back on the literary lessons - most Cavalry members couldn't even read or write when they joined the Cavalry. Yuder could read, but not really write well. Imagine that, he's twenty, he just learned how to write properly, Kishiar manages to mcfuck himself up during the Red Stone Retrieval Mission and decides "yes, that one will be my successor".

Like to Yuder, even ten years later, it seemed like Kishiar pretty quickly and decisively decided to make Yuder his successor.

Why did Kishiar La Orr pass the position of leader to Yuder at that time? And without any hesitation, as if it had been planned from the beginning.

And it's mentioned at times - a lot more later when Yuder knows what's up - we learn also that Yuder received proper lessons from Kishiar (and Nathan) and probably a whole bunch of other people to prep him for his work as Commander. Because Yuder does do well. The Cavalry is thriving, outpacing every other organization withing years. Sure, he's an interpersonal nightmare, but he did also pay for like parties if it was requested or so. And again, he went from semi literate commoner to Count and, argueably, one of the Emperor's most trusted men. That's insane.

And now in the second timeline, Yuder takes that knowledge with him. He knows what to expect, what he learned by trial and error. Just think about the second gender manifestations that go well. Heck, his own, I'd argue, is his turning (ha) point. The first 150ish chapters really do feel like Yuder's only in survival mode, but after his own second gender manifestation, the thing that IMO definitely fucked up his and Kishiar's relationship in the first timeline (mutual non-con my beloved trope <3), it's like an awakening (sorry full of bad puns today).

And for their relationship in the 2nd timeline!! Kishiar and Nathan both pick up that Yuder's more skilled than he should be. In chapter 17 we have this exchange:

"Nathan." "Yes." After Yuder left, Kishiar, staring at the chilled teacup on the opposite side, opened his mouth. Kishiar's cup was empty, but the one on the other side remained untouched, just as it had been from the start. "What do you think of that guy?" It was an unusual question. Nathan pondered for a moment before answering. "If I hadn't heard of his background beforehand, I would never have guessed he was a commoner." He was unmistakably a commoner, an orphan, barely twenty, yet he did not falter in front of Nathan, let alone in front of the noble duke who was as esteemed as the heavens.

And in chapter 59 we got:

Ever since first meeting him, Nathan Zuckerman had been continually investigating Yuder Aile's background. But just as his lord had predicted, there was nothing to find. His past was impeccably clean.

People regularly are in genuine awe of Kishiar because of the whole sun god thing, and I'd say in the first timeline, while also annoyed with Kishiar, to a degree did treat him according to station before he was made Commander and was even more annoyed with Kishiar.

And now here comes second timeline Yuder who had like. meals with the Emperor and knows Kishiar, to a degree at least.

And Kishiar very much picks up on this. He's got a prodigy on his hands who's not afraid to say what he means - not because of arrogance, but because he's straightfroward and correct. He's fascinated with Yuder to the point of propositioning him to figure out what he's on. (rip to Nathan hope you never learn of this).

Like, man if I have to put it into words, I think 2nd TL Kishiar falls in love because he's fascinated and interested by Yuder and wants to know him wholeheartedly, while for Yuder it hmm feels a lot more like hmm devotion/dedication to an ideal? Which makes Kishiar's genuine joy when he learns a small thing about Yuder a delight to read and vice versa when Yuder realizses why Kishiar acts in a certain way.

Like in 199 we got Kishiar saying , "I was merely asking out of curiosity. Isn't it a natural human tendency to want to know more about a subject of interest?"

(Also love how in 200 Yuder is like "Kishiar is so smart and skilled it's only a question of time until he manages to seduce me" babygirl what the FUCK is that thought process. can't you just say he's hot and charming and you both have a competency kink)

uuh. i think i lost the plot a little replying to your ask but like. yes. i love how the different circumstances shape their experience and attraction to each other,

[kannawandering]

Reading the Q&As is a bit crazy... what is Kishiar even doing bro.

Because falling in love this hard gotta be a feat of its own. Especially if he managed to get the kishiyu relationship FAQ to look like that..???

“The one who expresses his affection more” “Kishiar.” “The one who yields to the other a bit more” “Kishiar.” “The one who's more sensible to changes in the other” “Kishiar.” “The one who apologises first when fighting” “Kishiar.” “The one whose love is more heavy” “Kishiar.” “The one who's more devoted” “Kishiar.”

Sure enough. My bad for asking.

[yudrein-aile]

okay ngl there are few kishiyu moments that I love more than this exchange in chapter 56

"What were you planning to do with that power of yours when Count Gallon came to the Cavalry?" While contemplating, Kishiar suddenly started talking. Yuder kept silent for a moment, then briefly glanced around to check where Kanna was. She was slowly following from quite a distance. It seemed safe enough to respond. "I was planning... to give him a bit of a hand." "How much is 'a bit' in your terms?" "Enough for rumors to circulate that anyone who messes with a member of the Cavalry won't be able to leave in one piece." Hearing Yuder's response, Kishiar tilted his head with a peculiar smile. "Who do you think will clean up after that?" "Didn't you say you would take good care of your assistant, sir?" He boldly retorted, implying that surely he couldn't handle even that much. Laziness, like a well-fed beast, shimmered above Kishiar's red eyes. "That's right. I did say that."

like, for one, yuder saying "won't you take good care of me" to kishiar is absolutely delicious, but also how obviously Kishiar revels in having Yuder rely on him. That Yuder has the expectation that he can do whatever and Kishiar will back him up.

And this does set the beat! Obviously it starts much earlier with Yuder humiliating Kiolle, but this is verbalizing it. How much leeway Yuder has, that Kishiar trusts him to make the right choices and that he will support him, that he is willing to pull his entire weight as the Emperor's Most Beloved Favorite Baby Brother to let Yuder piss off whatever noble annoys him.

And Kishiar is so fucking pleased with Yuder's actions, with being tested just quite how far his capabilities extend. Honestly, I would not have minded if their dynamics remained a little longer in this ambiguity bc ngl it's just really fucking hot