#don’t ask me who altaïr’s oshi would be

[teecupangel]

Based on @auroramoon-draws16’s idea in this post.

Desmond lost Altaïr.

He really can’t explain it.

He thought Altaïr would be fine. He seemed to have a grasp on the situation and looked like he was taking everything in better than Ezio and Ratonhnhaké:ton.

“The Apple has shown me visions of this future. I’ll be fine, Desmond. Just give me a phone with this internet thing in it.”

Oh god.

Desmond should have not trusted his words.

He should have anticipated something like this.

That Altaïr would get lost in the crowd of this…

Anime convention?

Oh fuck.

Desmond needed to find Altaïr before he gets suckered into Vtubers or one of those toxic fandoms (he seriously didn’t want to see Altaïr having an oshi or going to Twitter to fight some rando because they had differing headcanons) or worse…

Hentai.

Desmond did not exactly have any memories of Altaïr’s love life (thank god for that small mercies) but he knew that Altaïr was a curious little shit and would definitely research hentai and kinks and-

Desmond needed to find Altaïr for both his sanity and the purity of the Brotherhood’s image of the great Altaïr Ibn-La'Ahad.

“And the winner of this year’s Cosplay Competition is… Altair from Abstergo’s video game franchise: History’s Hit Men: Murder in the Levant!”

Desmond froze.

Please.

Please, for the love of god, let this be a coincidence. Pleasepleasepleaseplease

“It’s Altaïr.”

Fuck.

Desmond tried to get to the stage as the MC laughed before asking, “Okay, Altaïr, how about a few words to share to everyone? Why did you choose to cosplay this character and did you learn to parkour because of him or did you cosplay him because you do parkour?”

“I was trained by-”

“-by our awesome parkour trainer!” Desmond shouted as he jumped onto the stage, placing himself between Altaïr and the MC. He gave the MC a charming smile that caused the MC’s cheeks to reddened and a few of the people in front of the stage to cheer.

“Oooohhh a modern take of the Assassins?” The MC flawlessly asked as Desmond kept a tight grip on Altaïr’s shoulder to stop the man from running away.

“Yup! We’re sorta a duo.” Desmond said, trying to bullshit his way out of this while Altaïr remained quiet.

Desmond wanted to believe it was because he knew he fucked up.

But no.

Most probably, he was quiet because he wanted to see how Desmond would get them out of this.

Asshole.

“He’s cosplaying Altaïr as the game showed and I’m cosplaying Altaïr if he was an Assassin of our time.” Desmond said.

“Oooohhh, that sounds nice.”

“He would totally wear leather pants!” Someone in the audience shouted.

No. He definitely would not. That shit was too tight. It would be hard to freerun… parkour… wearing them.

“On behalf of my partner, we are grateful that he won and we’d like to go now because, I’m gonna be honest with you, we haven’t eaten yet.”

That got a few chuckles from the crowd.

“Alright, give it up for Altair and uuhhh… Modern Day Altair!”

The audience clapped while Desmond walked Altaïr off the stage by pushing him.

“Dad’s going to kill me.” Desmond hissed.

“I will talk to him.”

Desmond rolled his eyes as he said, “That won’t do anything. He’ll just kill me after talking to you.”

“I’ll make sure he won’t.” Altaïr promised.

The saddest part of this entire thing is that Desmond actually believed Altaïr could do it.

“By the way, Desmond. Can I borrow a bit of money. I would like to buy fanmerchs of my oshi.”

“I left you alone for an hour, Altaïr!”