#don’t mind me just pushing the dad!barnes agenda

[biscuitrule]

Okay but like imagine Barnes getting roped into trying to teach the trio how to drive

[another-writer]

Tactics

Summary: You and Bucky can’t take a hint.

What can I say? I’m a sucker for the simple, straightforward cheese.

Your foot tapped the floor of the lift impatiently as you rode up to your floor of the compound, arms stuffed in the pockets of your coat as you relished in the warmth of the building, ears and fingertips still red and stinging from the New York winter. 

The black dress and new heels you had been saving for this very occasion hadn’t been worth it and it was for that reason, you realised, you felt disappointed with how the night had gone. It wasn’t the restaurant, or the portion sizes of the food (though you had been hungry from about ten minutes after you had finished eating), or perhaps even your actual date. Just that the effort had resulted in a waste of time. 

You weren’t generally a completely confident person; you were content with how you looked, you just wished that  … you looked better. But tonight while you were getting ready, you readily admitted to yourself that this was a rare occasion where you looked really good. 

When you entered the common area, you weren’t surprised to hear that your fellow teammates were still awake. You heard Bucky and Tony in the kitchen. You almost drooled at the smell of Alfredo sauce wafting though the air.

‘So it sucked?’ 

You quirked your eyebrow at Tony’s remark. ‘How did you know?’

Tony shrugged half-heartedly as he took a sip from his mug. ‘He’s a dick, I could tell.’

You smirked, unable to argue. ‘If you knew, why did you let this happen?’ you half-cried, making Bucky snicker.

‘Would I actually have been able to stop you?’

You opened your mouth wordlessly for a moment. ‘I- p-probably,’ you managed lamely. 

Tony shook his head, waving sardonically as he left. ‘You’ll live,’ he hollered over his shoulder.

You sighed and shrugged your coat off and tossed it on the side of the nearest chair. Bucky smirked as he focused on the pot on the stove, sleeves of his henley pushed back to his elbows. 

‘So … good night then?’ Bucky tried.

‘It wasn’t good and it wasn’t terrible. I can barely remember it.’

‘Oh that’s so much worse.’ Bucky shook his head and lowered the stove. 

You hummed in agreement. ‘What are you making? I’m starving.’ 

‘Reheating Sam’s leftovers he really wanted but was too slow to call dibs on,’ Bucky replied nonchalantly. ‘You want some?’

‘Is there enough?’ you asked, smile taunting your lips. ‘I know your diet, I’m pretty sure you eat enough that equates to the body weight of the average manatee.’

Bucky choked on his breath, emitting a brilliant laugh. ‘What?’

You snickered at his response. ‘I’d love some.’

‘Where’d you guys go?’

‘Some sushi place upstate,’ you replied, tying your hair back in a loose bun at the nape of your neck and pouring water out for the both of you. ‘I don’t have anything against sushi but we didn’t eat a lot and he made it pretty clear from the start he was gonna foot the bill so I just let him take over.’

Bucky frowned as he divided out the pasta into two plates; you noticed that there was significantly more in the one he handed to you and you smiled gratefully. 

‘Sounds like a jackass,’ he managed around a mouthful of food. 

‘He …’ Your defence faltered as you unsuccessfully stifled a smirk. ‘He wasn’t terrible, just … dominant. I think he had a superiority complex.’

You flicked the floor lamp on evening out the light with that coming from the kitchen and sunk back into the sofa.

‘So … a jackass,’ Bucky repeated.

You chuckled and licked some stray sauce from your lip. ‘This is so good by the way, Sam’s gonna kill us.’

‘I mean he’ll try.’ 

You laughed. ‘Believe me, Barnes, you’re second on his hit list from the time you held Redwing hostage.’

‘Just second? I’m insulted.’

‘You lost out to the guy who took his wings for a joyride. It was a tough decision.’ 

Bucky snickered and the both of you relished in the comfortable quietness that settled until he felt a strange sense of guilt. 

‘For what it’s worth, ‘m sorry your date sucked.’

You shrugged and hummed appreciatively as you ate. ‘’s okay,’ you replied uneasily. ‘It’s not like I got attached to the guy …’

Bucky frowned. ‘But?’

You felt your cheeks heat up. ‘Nothing,’ you replied. 

‘But …’ 

‘Buck, I’m serious,’ you laughed almost nervously under his comically suspicious stare. You held his gaze for approximately five minutes before you felt your resolve start to crack. ‘’s embarrassing,’ you groaned eventually, digging the point of your heel into the ground and setting your half-full plate on the coffee table in front of you.

‘No more embarrassing than accidentally calling Steve dad.’

You and Bucky stared at each other for a moment, the anecdote hanging in the air. 

‘Scott?’

‘Scott.’

You smiled weakly; the story usually would have had you doubled over and laughing in the most unattractive way. You leaned back into the couch, sinking into the cushions and slumping with your legs stretched out, holding the base of your glass over your stomach. It felt so good especially after sitting up in an uptight high-end restaurant with an uptight high-end CEO. 

Bucky smiled warmly at your posture; it was almost comical seeing you dressed to the nines with your make up still intact, slouched back as if you were in the middle of a binge-watch. The dim glow from the kitchen highlighted half of your face, and the low light from the floor lamp shrouded the room in a warm layer of comfort. He had noticed fairly quickly that you hated bright lights at night.

You groaned self-deprecatingly. ‘I mean, I just want to settle down. I think I want to get married one day,’ you mumbled quietly, though the silence in the room made it so that your voice was clear and loud as day. 

Bucky didn’t seem thrown by your confession. ‘Why’s that embarrassing?’ 

You fixed him with a stare: Seriously? ‘Because it’s … I don’t know.’ 

‘’s very eloquent of you.’ 

‘Bucky,’ you groaned, slumping to the side and leaning against the armrest.

‘What’s so bad about that?’ he asked, a nervous laugh wavering his voice, trying to diminish any tension you felt.

You shrugged, even though you knew the answer to his question. ‘Just feels weird to want something like that, doing what we do.’

‘Take it from the hundred-year old guy who’s in his twenties,’ Bucky smirked, ‘you’re allowed to want normal things.’

The corners of your mouth twitched into a small smile, appreciating his humour. ‘Thanks. ‘m sorry if I made things all serious and stuff.’

‘[Y/N], it’s fine,’ Bucky chuckled at your posture (lack of posture?). ‘But … you weren’t pinning all of this on that guy, were you?’

You lifted your head, eyes widening and brows creasing at the ridiculousness of his question. ‘God, no,’ you declared, the dramatics of your voice making Bucky’s eyes soften fondly at your quirk. ‘It’s not like I got my hopes up for a first date with a guy I don’t know but … I want it to happen one day.’

Bucky nodded in understanding. ‘So if it’s not a dominant CEO with a superiority complex -’ you snorted ‘- then what are you looking for?’

You shrugged again, feeling as though you were under a spotlight; as if moving away from it, you gathered yours and Bucky’s plates and moved towards the kitchen, gesturing for him to keep sitting when he moved to help you.

‘I dunno, what does anyone look for? Just a guy with common sense.'

‘Allow yourself one luxury,’ Bucky called from the armchair.

‘If you don’t think common sense is a luxury, you clearly haven’t dated much.’

Bucky smirked. ‘I don’t know whether now’s a good time to brag or not.’

Perching on the arm of the sofa next to him, you ran your hands through your hair, feeling second-hand embarrassment at yourself, unable to stop thinking of the last few hours.

‘You have rights.’

‘True, I don’t think I ever dated anyone who lacked common sense -’

‘Shut up,’ you groaned. ‘In my defence, I didn’t pick him, this wasn’t my choice.’

‘Who set you up - Sam?’

‘Natasha. I didn’t think it would be this bad.’

Bucky’s eyebrows furrowed slightly, as though he was both confused and in thought.

‘Wouldn’t have thought so either, myself,’ he said.

You could practically see the gears turning in his head, and suddenly felt as though you were on the same wavelength.

‘Because Nat’s not bad at anything,’ you said, the realisation evident in your voice. ‘Which means she set a bad date on purpose.’

‘And not that it’s important, but I’d like to know how she knows a douchey CEO anyway,’ he added.

Why would she do that? you wondered. It wasn’t as if you were hurt per say, but the chances of Natasha screwing you over accidently in the dating department were incredibly slim. So what was the point?

‘Natasha’s  not spiteful,’ you said. ‘Like, there’s no agenda here or anything.’

‘Maybe there was,’ Bucky said nonchalantly, triggering your mind to worry. ‘Did you steal any of those kale smoothies she has?’

You snorted, wondering whether Bucky was trying to make you laugh or was being dead serious. ‘Those were hers?’

‘She’s suddenly really obsessed with them.’

‘I didn’t take any of her stuff, Barnes.’

‘See, now you broadened it to stuff, which makes me wonder what you have done.’

Natasha couldn’t help but roll her eyes as she retreated back to her room, having had enough of yours and Bucky’s conversation.

‘Maybe Sam dared her.’

‘Why are you so desperate to make Sam part of this?’

She listened to you analyse your date and her potential motives with the same in-depth, manic red string habit you would use for scoping out enemy bases and proximity targets. And she grew further frustrated when Bucky returned with the same energy, strategising with you. You were both enjoying yourselves, rebounding off each other, energising one another.

‘We stole his food, we need leverage.’ 

‘You stole his food.’

‘You were complicit.’

And she wondered how neither of you had realised how well you went together. Natasha knew that being so direct as to tell both of you this would injure your egoes. She knew that there were underlying feelings between you and Bucky. And listening to your banter with him, and your inability to pinpoint why she would set you up on such an awful date was almost hurtful.

And she wondered what she would try next to get you both to realise how dense you two were being.