#don't mind me I'm just trying to hype myself up for actually opening those damned dating apps again

[musette22]

In the spirit of Slutty Summer, as spearheaded by Christopher 'Harlot' Evans, I took some post-workout selfies today because I was like ok, these workouts kinda workin 👀 and I guess I decided to share them on here because idk where else to share them tbh, sorry about that 😂

Under the cut bc well, don't wanna subject anyone to them against their will lol 💕

Please don't reblog

[zipp0flare]

Infection part 1

(So, this is an old relic piece back from when I first started playing Left 4 Dead. I loved the character and infected designs so much back then (still do, tbh) that I actually made several characters, whom I still love to this day. I only have stories for two of them, back from my deviantArt days, which is why this may look familiar. Anywho, this is the origin story for my Hunter, Luke (based off a GaiaOnline avatar I made one day, which is why the design choice is kinda funky.))

The rave that was so often filled to the brim with people on Saturday nights was close to being empty, mainly only filled with the loyal regulars that spent their free nights dancing amongst the music and flashing lights. A young male made his way to a small group of men gathered around the bar, some of which gave him surprised greetings.

"Whoa, Luke! Didn't think we'd see you here!" A man with a large, orange dyed mohawk called as he motioned the other male over. 'Luke' merely scoffed and sat down next to the man, as well a second man, wearing a ridiculous, tie dyed ski cap. "You know you look like a moron with that on, right Mal?" Luke asked, to which he received a punch in the arm from 'Mal'.

"You don't look any better. What's with the goggles, and the hood? Hell, what are you doing here in the first place?" Luke gave Mal a scowl, which only grew when the first man piped up; "Yeah, he's right. I mean, you have heard about the Green Flu going around, right?"

Luke leveled a glare at the man. "I could ask you the same question. I could ask everyone here the same question. I came here because I had planned to ever since Tuesday. But it looks like the hype about this flu has caused everyone to run for home with their tail between their legs."

Luke coughed into his arm, causing his two companions to inch back a little farther. "Damn, did you come here with it? What the fuck were you thinking?!"

"Vince, I don't have the flu, my throat's just been sore. You can calm down." Mal and Vince still looked leery. "I think you should go back home. You don't know if you're not infected, and none of us want to come down with the thing. I mean, I've heard some people are dying from it." Vince actually sounded somewhat worried, though it was hard to tell if the worry was for his friend, or for himself.

"That's just the media making this whole thing look worse than it did. Remember their last, so-called 'epidemic'?" Mal choked back a laugh. "Yeah, you boarded yourself up in your apartment for a week and a half. You thought the world was ending or something." Mal may have controlled his laughter, but Vince had begun to guffaw at the memory.

"And nothing happened, which made me look like a damn idiot."

"Yeah, you did look like a fool when you finally came out of your 'house of safety' with the fire axe you practically stole from your apartment building."

"Exactly. So, just like nothing happened then, everything's just going to go over in a week or so, and everyone will soon forget about the Green Flu." Luke raised a hand into the air with three fingers up, and waved to the bartender, earning a nod as the woman behind the bar got to work.

"So... you're sure your not infected, right?" Vince asked cautiously. "Yes. I know I'm not infected. I haven't even been near someone who's sick. Though..." His face scrunched up in disgust, to which his two friend gave him odd looks. "You remember my weird ass neighbor? Who lives in the apartment to the right of mine?"

"You mean crazy old hag Meri-something?" Vince received a nod. "What the hell did she do this time? Start up a story about her toe jam again?" Mal had to keep from retching when he heard Vince, even though he hadn't been there for whatever this story was, unlike poor friends. "No, not another toe jam story. I went to get my mail this morning and saw her walking my direction. I've gotten to the point where I wait for her to start going through whatever crap she's received until I leave. I stood there for two minutes and she didn't start rummaging through her mail. Instead, the crazy bat reaches over and bites me in the arm!"

"The fuck?! I knew she was out of her mind, but biting people?"

"I have no idea what was going through her freaky mind, but it was hard enough to break the skin." Luke rubbed his bandaged arm, currently concealed under his black arm warmers. "What did you do?" Mal asked, knowing that the story couldn't have ended there.

"I immediately elbowed her in the stomach out of reflex. She whined like a dog and took off after that."

"She broke the skin? Did you disinfect and all that crap?" Luke nodded. "I pretty much bathed it in rubbing alcohol, which burned like hell I might add."

Mal and Vince still looked disgusted with the story, thankful that neither of them had a out-of-their-mind neighbor that went around biting people. "Maybe you should head back home." Vince piped up after a few moments of silence. "If she bit you and all, maybe she's infected?"

"I'm sure the cause of that is from being out of her mind. I'm fine." Luke stressed the word 'fine'. "So, you wanted to come here on a Saturday, mainly only because we always do. You also think that all of this is just the media hyping things up a bit. I still don't see you going out, risking getting sick. You're the one who's always against that kind of-"

"It's nothing!" Luke exclaimed, startling his two friends, along with other people that were close by. "It's... just your normal flu."

"Dude... what the hell has your panties in a bunch? You're never this worked up." There was only silence from Luke, who seemed to almost be refusing to answer Mal's question.

"Maddie's sick." Those two words were so quiet that Luke's friends almost didn't catch what Luke had said. Maddie, Madeline, was Luke's five-year-old sister; she meant the world to Luke. "Maddie's sick with it. And if I start freaking out about this whole thing, I"m basically telling myself that my little sister's going to die." He bit his lower lip. "So, all of this is just nothing, alright?"

"... Sorry, I.. I had no idea, man." Mal apologized. "How's she doing?"

"She's currently in quarentine with CEDA. Or, that's what I'm being told." Luke coughed into his arm again, a bit more harshly this time. "I'm not sick, you can drop it." Luke knew what his friends were thinking and his words shut them up before they could say anything.

The bartender came back with his drink, but Luke could tell that she was keeping her distance as well. "Damn, why the hell is everyone acting like this.." He growled. Luke was hardly ever this agitated but Mal and Vince took it as him simply being worked up about his younger sister.

There was silence amongst the friends once more (minus Luke's coughing every few minutes) none of them knowing what to say. The silence was broken by a loud swearing from Luke. "They need to turn down these fucking lights. My eyes are burning from them!" His friends cringed, not expecting Luke's outburst. "Uh... the lights are the same as they always are. You sure you're oka-"

"I'm fine! Dammit, I'm fine!" Luke held his injured arm close to him, his fingers digging into it. Vince simply held his hands in front of him as if to guard himself from Luke's verbal lashing.

Luke's coughing seemed to have quickly and steadily grown worse, and he was beginning to notice a slightly red stain decorating the inside of his arm. Maybe he was seeing things though, his eyesight seemed to steadily be growing worse, and it was hard to think of anything with the pounding headache that had suddenly overwhelmed him.

Luke could barely make out his friend's worried looks, only seeing their lips moving while no sound came from their mouths, but the music in the background seemed to only be getting louder and louder, the noise assaulting his eardrums and causing his headache to grow worse.

As his eyes began to slowly bleed was when he fell backward and off of his seat, his head making a sickening crack as it hit the floor. Luke could barely see now, barely think, barely even keep his eyes open. "Holy shit! Someone call an ambulance, or something!" Mal and Vince had only become more and more concerned for Luke, giving him questions and suggestions, both of which went unanswered. None of that, though, compared to the panic going through their systems when their friend suddenly fell off the seat, bleeding out of his eyes.

"C'mon, Luke! You've been through worse, stay with us!" Vince exclaimed with frustration, trying to make things not at bad as they seemed, as he crouched down next to his friend. The bartender had already called 911, though Vince and Mal were wondering if it would do any good now.

When Luke slowly started to come to, letting out groans and what sounded like low growling, the duo's hope skyrocketed. It came crashing down, though, when Luke suddenly rolled off of his back and onto his stomach, crouching and growling at his 'friends'.

"Whoa, calm down, buddy... everything's alright.. you're going to be okay.." Neither of them had anymore time to say anything before 'Luke' pounced and attacked them both.

When the ambulance finally arrived, along with several people in hazmat suits from CEDA, they found the rave a bloody, gruesome mess. Several bodies were scattered on the floor and against the bar's counter. All of them were viciously torn into. "We need to block this place off. Don't let anything come out or into here." One of the CEDA workers commanded. While several people rushed to various parts of the club, a lone ambulance worker looked out at the horrific scene and sighed. His eyes turned down to see a man at his feet, with a large, orange mohawk, who looked even more torn into than the rest of the bodies at the scene. He didn't seem to pay much mind to the smeared blood trail that led away from the body, simply assuming that it was caused by the thing that had caused all of this. "God, this sickness is horrid..."

[letsbefeminist]

Hi, I hope I'm not bothering you but I was wondering if you had any advice for like getting your self-esteem/positive self-image back after being cheated on? My s.o. and I decided to still stay together but I'm just having trouble in the aftermath with feeling like myself, or feeling good about myself, or feeling like I'm still attractive to my partner. Also I love your blog and you're always so amazing and sweet in your replies so I hope you don't mind, thank you!

You are definitely not a bother & I’m incredibly sorry you’re even dealing with this right now. It’s a devastating thing to go through & it really can change who you are & how you see/think about yourself.

((This is gonna be looooong as hell tbh & also, thank you for being so sweet! It really made my night & I don’t mind at all you coming to me to talk! 💜💗))

Okaaay, I found out all the way back in November that my partner cheated on me. Like you, i decided to stay with him & work through things but I gotta say, this has been a challenge like no other.

Sooo, I know EXACTLY what you mean about not feeling good about yourself & not feeling attractive to the person you love so dearly. It’s incredibly difficult to feel like yourself when you’ve been betrayed by someone so close to you. By someone who’s supposed to have your back. But you’re still in there my love. It’s just a new scar, that’s all.

Like, it’s taken me months to even attempt this, but day by day lately, I’ve been stacking bricks, trying to build a wall between me & all that bullshit & hurt. Like I literally envision a wall. So yes, it is hard but it’s also doable. Even if it’s slow to happen.

You gotta remember/find out who you are outside of your relationship & outside of being cheated on. Yes, it changes you, it makes you angry & sad & sometimes it’s just agonizing to live with it but it’s not who we are at all. Being cheated on isn’t what defines us!

We are so much more than this shitty thing that happened to us. Sooo much more.

My angel, remember that you weren’t cheated on because you’re unattractive, unworthy, unlovable, or whatever. You’re gonna have to tell yourself this until you listen. Until you actually start believing it. This is legit one of the bricks for my wall & it’s going to be one of the most important ones tbh.

& yeah, this part is DEFINITELY easier said than done, but I’m closer to listening to that today than I was just last month. You’ll get there too. Biggest thing is, don’t rush. Healing takes time. Working on trusting again takes time. Working on feeling like yourself takes time. That’s okay. Believe me.

Next step to building that confidence back up is don’t fucking hate on yourself!!! My goodness, I struggle with this so every time I say that I’m just ugly or that he doesn’t love me I’m knocking a brick off my wall & I got to start over again. That’s unfair to ourselves. We can’t do that.

So every time you start hating on yourself you HAVE to make the conscious effort to quit that shit. Say something nice about yourself. I don’t care if it’s something like your earlobe is cute. Anything positive, no matter how small, is AUTOMATICALLY better than whatever hateful thing you’re saying at the moment. Work on that. Work on being nice to yourself because you’re already going through so much & without a doubt, you did ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to deserve being cheated on. You wouldn’t say mean things to someone who is already hurting, so why do it to yourself?

Ask for help is the next thing on my list. Find people who boost your confidence & who you can vent to. A family member, your BFF, anyone. Ask them to be your hype man. To remind you how great you are. How fucking gorgeous & sweet you are, how damn funny & smart you are. This is especially important when you start falling into a self-hate spiral. It’s sooo easy to forget how others see us when someone so close changed the way you view yourself, but that positive reinforcement does do a lot. ((& yeah, you’re gonna be like bullshit a lot of the times, but it does help to hear it. Even if you only believe them for a minute, that’s one less minute of feeling horrible)).

You should also try to do all those things that make you feel good about yourself. The things that made you feel lovable & attractive. Whether that’s dressing up & going on a date or something more intimate & personal. Allow yourself to feel sexy in your own eyes & in the eyes of your partner.

Do the things that always seem to make your partner go wild for you (I know how cheesy this sounds😎). If they’re all like “daaaaaaamnnn,” that’s gonna feel pretty fucking good. Bask in those moments because you need that good feeling. It helps so much to feel like you’re fine as hell to your partner & if you find yourself no believing them, revert back to the above.

Also, you’re gonna have to tell your partner what you need from them. Specifically & generically. Like, that was the biggest thing for me & our relationship. I needed him to be an open book so he’s steady being open about who he’s talking to on his phone, what he’s doing on social media & so on & so forth. Like it’s gotten to the point where Im not always having to ask, he’ll just tell me. That helps build the trust back up.

I also asked him to do things that make me feel important & special again. Things that are outside of sex (this is so damn important). Like when he buys me flowers randomly or calls me beautiful when I least expect it, that feel so good. That helps me feel like I’m thought about, cared about, loved & special to him. It sounds basic but that’s what normal partners do & the goal is to feel normal within the relationship again.

You clearly love this person & want this relationship to workout so you’re also gonna need to remind yourself about how they used to make you feel. Like, at some point they made you feel like you were on top of the world. Hold on to those feelings & memories. REMIND YOURSELF THAT THE PERSON WHO MADE YOU FEEL SO GREAT IS STILL IN THERE!!! THAT THEY LOVE YOU FOR YOU!! THAT YOU DESERVE TO BE LOVED!!!!

Yes, a lot has changed & you’re gonna have to accept that things can’t go exactly back to the way they used to be. So you gotta work on a better tomorrow. A tomorrow where you can trust this person again. One where you feel normal & good & attractive again. Hold onto the good memories & make even better ones. This all helps you move forward, & that’s the whole point. I know you miss those good ol’ days but those aren’t the only ones that are going to matter & getting caught up on how things used to be is just gonna depress the hell outta you. Like I’ve made myself sick doing this & I’m trying like hell to stop doing it. It’s okay to miss how things were, but if you really want to move on, you got to accept that things have changed & that it can be a good thing.

Another great thing you can do for yourself is live up the moments you feel good. Like when you had a good day, hold onto that. Be excited about that. Be proud of e v e r y single moment that you didn’t think about yourself negatively or about being cheated on, because like I said, it isn’t what defines you.

There’s a lot you are going to have to work on personally. There’s also a lot you’ll have to work on together. You’re going to have to be open when you can & sometimes you’re just gonna have to wipe the tears & keep on keepin’ on. That shit is hard but it’s for you & your relationship. It can be worth it!

Don’t be so quick to doubt yourself & the impact you have on your partner. There is soooo many qualities of yours that would make anyone lucky to have you in their life & lemme tell you, they know this.

Soo if you gotta walk around like the cockiest mofo around in order to believe it, so be it. If that’s what helps get your confidence back up, shooooo then fake it till you make it boo.

It’s gonna take so much strength & courage from you to feel better & to feel like yourself again but it will happen. It’s gonna be agonizing at times & it’ll probably be slow too but progress is progress, no matter how much bullshit you go through to get there.

But, all in all my dear, you are smart, beautiful, kind, sweet, strong as fuck, & worth loving & if you need me to remind you of that, I will. Every day I will.

I want you to be happy & it’s okay to struggle with how you feel. Just know that that’s not the end of the road. This isn’t the only chapter that’s written in your book. You have to remember all the great things about you & that happens one day at time. So be patient. Be gentle with yourself & allow yourself time to heal.

You’ll feel like yourself again one day & you’ll feel attractive & good about yourself one day too. Just know you have my support & I know exactly how you feel so if you ever need to talk shugg, I am here for you.

So let me end all this with hopefully a smile because I’m gonna send you all the great, incredible love vibes your way sugaaaaah 🌈🔮💕💚💘

[mr-nobodys-stuff]

Meeting Deku

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Description: you just moved from America to Japan for work. Moving was a bit tougher than you expected. A shy green haired boy offers to help. You meet his mom and spend a little time with them. Becoming friends with them is a must have now.

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The long flight from America to Japan is definitely a tiresome trek. Not so much physical, but more mental. The stress and nervousness of your new permanent home setting in.

You've been to Japan a few times in the past. So it's not anything to be too worried about, but still.

Musutafu, Japan. That's where you chose to live. The nicest place you could find without going too expensive.

Once the plane landed you did the usual. Walking off the plane with your carry on, fetching the rest of your luggage, finding a taxi, and finally reaching the apartments.

There is where you met the landlords, a nice little old couple.

"Now dearie, if there's anything you need, don't be afraid to ask. You have our numbers right?" The woman encloses your hand in both of hers.

"Yes, I do. I'll be fine and thank you for the place," you give her a soft smile, nodding your head.

"Perfect! Well, we better be on our way now. Got some grocery shopping to do," she says, leaving after giving her own grin.

You turned to the apartments and huffed, hyping yourself up. Time to carry your bags up to the room on the second floor. Highs weren't your favorite thing, but the second wasn't too high, thankfully.

You draped your bag around your back as you dragged the large luggage up the steps.

"Excuse me, miss!" A voice says from behind. Quickening footsteps accompanying it.

You turn to see a green haired man hurrying over to you.

"Would you like a hand?" Without giving you time to respond he pulls up the heavy bag, effortlessly.

"What floor?" He asks.

"The second," you say, leading the way. He follows you all the way to the designated floor and sets down the bag on its wheels.

"I'm Y/N by the way," you say, putting a hand on your chest.

"Izuku Midoriya, but you can just call me Deku though," he waves a hand, dismissively.

"Ok, cool!" you nod. "Do you happen to live here in the apartments?"

"Y-yeah I do! Just on the other side actually. I live with my mom, haha," he rubs the back of his neck.

"Oh, I'm just moving in and I live by myself."

"Really? Do you need any help?" He asks, grinning a little.

"Not presently. I have to wait on my things to get here first. They should get here in a few days and you don't have to help if you really don't-," you shake your head and wave your hands, partially in defense.

"Nonsense! I'd love to help! M-maybe you'd like to stop by my place to meet my mom? She'd be happy to meet our new neighbor, haha," he blushes slightly.

"Yeah, but maybe tomorrow? I'm pretty tired from the flight over. I haven't eaten all day," your stomach suddenly feeling extremely empty at the thought of food.

"Oh right! Sorry, I forgot!" He laughs nervously. "W-well if you really wanted to, you could stop by for, uh, dinner? My mom usually makes more than we can eat."

"That would be nice," you grin, feeling all warm inside. "Which apartment?"

"34"

"Ok, I'll go put this away and I'll head over," you nod, still smiling.

"O-ok!" He stutters.

"See you in a few!" You wave over your shoulder as you make you way to your apartment.

Midoriya runs to his apartment, red faced, heart racing, nerves through the roof.

"Mom!" He falls as he makes it to the kitchen.

"Izuku! What's wrong!?" Inko asks, eyes wide as her son peels his face from the floor.

"I asked a girl to come over for dinner! She's just moving in on the other side of the building!" He starts sputtering out different sentences.

Inko smiles and laughs.

"Izuku, please calm down. What's her name?" She pats his shoulder.

"Y/N," he says, trying to calm himself.

"Good thing I made enough food and hopefully she likes Udon," Inko sighs.

Izuku paces and talks the walls off. He's never brought a girl back to his house before. But something about you made him ask.

Inko cleaned a bit more and got out another bowl and chopsticks.

A knock on the door almost scared Izuku out of his boxers. He did trip and fall to his butt though.

"I'll get it!" Izuku jumps up and hurries to the door. He swings it open to see you.

You had changed from your over comfortable clothing to a bit of a nicer outfit, but nothing too over the top.

"O-oh, Y/N," he says, a blush sprawling across his features.

You smile and nod.

"Hi Deku! Sorry it took me a bit longer, I thought I'd change real quick," your own cheeks dust with a pale pink.

"Haha, yeah, you look good. Er, I-it looks good! Y-your outfit looks good I mean!" He stutters.

"Izuku! Let her in!" Inko calls from the kitchen. Her tone sounding playful.

"O-oh right! Come in," he moves so she could enter.

"Take my shoes off?" You ask, glancing down.

"Y-yeah," he nods, watching you take your shoes off.

"Sorry, I'm from America. I've never been in a Japanese home before so I wasn't sure," you follow him to the living room.

"Oh don't worry about that."

"Ah hello! You must Y/N. I'm Inko Midoriya," she bows.

"It's nice to meet you," you nod to her.

"Likewise," she smiles with her big, beautiful, green eyes. "Izuku tells me you're the new neighbor. On the other side of the building of course."

"Yeah, I am. Just got here earlier today," you say.

"Well, let's eat! We can chat during or after and I hope you like Udon. There wasn't much of a heads up," Inko chuckles.

"Oh whatever is fine with me. I've never had it before though," you sit at the dining table with Deku. He sets a bowl down in front of you and himself. The food definitely smelled delicious. It looked straight out of one of those food magazines at the doctor's office.

"Um, one question," you pick up the chopsticks. "How does one...," you look the pair up and down, trying to copy Izuku in holding them.

"You don't know how to use chopsticks?" Izuku asks.

"Not really. I just usually use a fork," you say, feeling a bit embarrassed.

"Hold it like this," he molds your hand and fits the sticks perfectly. "I'm sure it'll take a few times to get it down."

"Thank you," you smile, trying to lift the noodles with the sticks. They slip right off. Now it was your ultimate mission to get those damned things in your mouth.

With a slightly hunched back, concentration keyed on the noodles, and tongue sticking out slightly of course.

Inko smiles at her son, making him burst into a blushing mess. He puts a hand on his face and turns downwards.

"So Y/N, where are you from?" Inko asks, swirling noodles around in her own bowl.

"America, I've been to Japan a few times. Mostly for work purposes," you say, finally getting a singular noodle. "Ah-ha!" You stuff it in your mouth.

"And what do you do for work?"

"I'm an artist," you swallow the noodle. "This is really good."

"I'm glad you like it!" She smiles and nods.

"W-what kind of, uh, artist?" Izuku asks nervously.

"It's mostly digital art, but I do draw and paint pretty often though."

"That sounds like fun. Maybe you could teach me a few things here and there. I always thought painting would be nice to try sometime," Inko smiles giddily.

"Yeah, I would love to. Any time is fine with me. Just hit me up and we can have some fun with it," you grin and chuckle lightly. "So what do the two of you do around here?"

"Izuku here is a hero actually," Inko kicks him lightly.

"Oh, yeah! So if anything ever happens, you can count on me to help!" He says with a big smile.

"Cool! I bet that's stressful," you stuff your face with more noodles.

"I-it can be at some points. I aim to be the number one hero! Just like All Might!"

You look at his determined face. A smile creeps it's way to your features at the scene. You turn your attention back to the half empty bowl now.

An hour or two later, you finally called it quits. The comfort of alone time and sleep was calling you. Even though your things weren't going to be there for a few days, there are still a few things to do first.

You bid goodnight to Inko. She thanks you for your time and lets you go.

Izuku insists on walking your back to your place. Not like you don't mind either so you let him.

"Thanks again for having me over," you say as you open your door.

"U-uh yeah! Sure thing! It was nice having you over," he blushes and smiles.

"Did I ever give you my number?" You ask, recalling whether you did or not.

"You want my number?!" He jumps back slightly, bursting into red.

"Of course I do," you grab a piece of paper and write your number on it. Something tells you he's just gonna continue being a blushing mess for a while, meaning you're not gonna get it out of him.

"Here's mine. Now I'm gonna go get some sleep. Text me whenever you feel like it, okay?" You pat him on the shoulder and smile. "Goodnight Deku.

"Uh! Yeah! Goodnight Y/N!" He smiles from ear to ear and nods.

You shut the door and look through the peephole. On the other side you can see him looking at the piece of paper, still smiling. He huffs, making that determined face again. Finally he runs back in the direction of his apartment.

You take a deep breath and slide down the door. A blush and a smile softens your features at the thought of his smile.

Let's just say it plagued your thoughts until you fell asleep.