#dont ask why i cant listen to pulp just dont

[happys-crazy-queen22]

Not All Family Is Blood

Gif credit @bodybebangin.

Hope you all enjoy.

If you would like to be tagged in Yellowstone fics, I'll be happy to tag you so you don't miss out.

Warning: Assault. Mentioning of abuse. Custody battle.

"Daddy Rip"! Reilly, your six year old daughter screamed with a giggle running down to the barn where Rip was attending to his horse. You might be wondering why she called him daddy Rip well it's kind of complicated.

"Hey, baby girl". He laughed scooping her up in his arms and hugging her tight.

"Guess what I made in school today"? She asked excitedly.

"What's that"? Rip matched her excitement. Rip isn't her biological father. Her dad is still alive and somewhat in her life. But Rip has been there since the beginning. You two started off as friends and then the love grew more and you two got together when she was two. So all she knew him as was daddy Rip.

"I made a star from fruit loops".

Rip dramatically gasped as he was surprised but he knew what she was doing. He got her the fruit loops that morning and put them in her bookbag. "That's so cool. Did you save me any"?

Reilly giggled. "No daddy Rip. I used them all".

"Ah okay. I'll just eat your ears". Rip evily laughed as he nibbled on her ears. She was in a giggle fit.

"Put me down". She laughed and became serious when she had had enough. Rip put her down with a kiss to the top of her head.

"Hey baby". He pulled you to him and kissed your lips softly.

"Hey". You smile exhausted.

"What's wrong"?

"Nothing". You nodded to Reilly.

"Riels, why dont you go down there and beat up your uncle Jimmy. I give you permission while I talk to mommy". Rip chuckled as she ran off.

"What's going on"?

"Brian. He wants to take me back to count for custody".

"Why's he doing this now? You just came from court a week ago and they gave you full custody".

"He's being a dick. Just to make me mad".

"You know, that wont ever happen? He's not taking Reilly away from you. I'll make sure of that".

"Rip, you cant threaten him. He doesn't care that you will beat him to a pulp. He'll just use it against me in court".

Rip wrapped his arms around you protectively. "I'm not going to threaten him. I'm going to make sure he doesnt ever walk again. He wont take Reilly away. I promise. So dont worry". Rip kissed your head, reassuringly.

"Okay".

"Alright then. Let's go get our little cowgirl and head home".

"You go. I'm to tired to walk down there". You groaned with a giggle.

"Alright". Rip chuckled and went on his way. As you started up to your car you saw a black beat up car pull in and you knew exactly who it was.

"Bitch, where is my daughter"? Brian yelled from his car. He was to lazy to get out.

"What are you doing here? You cant just show up unannounced. This isn't my home".

"Where is Reilly"? Brian asked once again and this time got out of the car.

"She's with Rip".

"You let him take my daughter, alone"? He scoffed.

"I trust him more that I can throw you".

"Listen, you little bitch. If my daughter isn't in front of me in five seconds. I'm going to call the cops and say you're trying to kidnap her. Dont test me, whore". Brian was right up in your face.

"I dont have to do anything you say, Brian". You looked him cold in the eyes.

Brian clicked his tongue and started nodding his head. That's when you knew he was angry.

Before you knew it, his hand collided with your cheek and you felt shooting pain on the right side of your face.

"I'm going to tell you one more time. Get my daughter"! He yelled in your ear.  You jerked your head back to look at him. Your blood was boiling. After taking years of his abuse, you finally wanted to kill him.

"Y/N"? Rip called out as he walked up to the cars. Teeter and Colby followed him.

"Give me my daughter asshole". Brian spoke stepping in front of you. You still held your face.

Rip handed Rielly to Teeter and told her and Colby to take Rielly inside his place. They quickly left.

"You do that to her face"? Rip jogged up to Brian, pointing to you. His cowboy boots scattered dust as he jogged.

"Bitch, needed to learn. She doesn't disobey me". Brian turned his slightly looking at you with a smirk.

"That's funny. I was thinking the same thing about you". Rip reared back and punched Brian in the face. Brian stumbled back but Rip didn't let up. He punched Brian in the face again. Brian fell down and Rip hovered over him, his fist balled up and ready for another punch.

"You ever come near Y/N or Rielly again. I will kill you where you stand. Do you understand, boy"? Rip stood over Brian as Brian whimpered and groan holding his nose.

"Do you"? Rip growled.

Brian nodded.

"Now get the fuck out of here".

Brian hauled ass back to his car. Picking himself up and jumping into his car. He sped away.

"Are you okay"? Rip took your face in his hands gently looking you over.

"I'm fine".

"Fucking asshole". Rip spat on the ground.

"I can't believe you just did that. I'm going to lose Rielly now". You whispered to yourself. Rip turned his head quickly.

"No you're not. I promised you I wont let that happen and I'm keeping to that". Rip took your hand in his.

"I'm just scared. That's all. I've put up with Brian's abuse for years and I dont want that happening to Rielly. That's why I left when she was a baby".

"It's not going to happen. They have to pry her from my cold dead hands before he gets her. And I'm pretty hard to kill". Rip chuckled, making you smile.

"Thank you. For everything. You saved us". You wrapped Rips arm around your waist as you still held his hand and tip toed up and kissed his lips. "I love you".

"I love you too. Now let's get some ice on that cheek and go get something to eat. I've worked up a appetite". Rip and you took off down to his place.

You knew this wasnt going to be the last time you see Brian about custody. But Rip, had something up his sleeve if it ever did occur.

[backtobackbakubabe]

Baby its Cold Outside (PART 2)

Bakugo x Reader

Bakugo has feelings

*Angst *Fluff *Smutish *All the feelings

Words: 1894

PART 1 HERE, PART 2 HERE, PART 3 HERE PART 4 HERE PART 5 HERE , PART 6 HERE PART 7 HERE PART 8 HERE PART 9 HERE PART 10 HERE PART 11 HERE PART 12 HERE PART 13 HERE PART 14 HERE

*****************************************************************************************************

Ever since that fateful day a month ago that you forgot your jacket, you and Bakugo had been all over each other. You basically lived at his place. Waking up every morning to a fresh cup of coffee just the way you like it and if you were lucky, maybe even some shower sex before you went off to work.

He loved having you over all the time, and if he didn't think it was too soon he'd probably ask you to move in. Hell you had known each other for over five years now. Just because you only now started dating doesn't mean he hadn’t thought about this for a while. He loved making you dinner and taking care of you. He found it adorable how you could never reach anything in his kitchen. You begged him to move some stuff down to a lower shelf but he refused. Saying it was more fun to watch you climb on the counters. In reality he just liked that you always needed him to reach things.

You were always popping back and forth between your apartment and his. He had learned that if he listened really hard he could hear the telling sound of whooshing air that signaled your coming and going. It was subtle but he grew accustomed to it and could now pick it out anywhere. Subconsciously smiling every time he heard it. He still acted surprised whenever you tired to sneak up on him. You were always so cute when you thought you had actually scared him.

You were nervous work would be weird now that you two were together. But it was the opposite. Your chemistry was through the roof, and you were kicking ass. I mean there was the one incident were you chased down a thief and totally kicked his ass before Bakugo could get there. First he was yelling about how you were reckless and should have waited for back-up and then the next thing you knew you were being pushed into a side closet and being fucked senseless.

Today had been a long day. Bakugo had the day off and spent the whole day with Kirishima doing whatever it is those two do. You had to be paired up with some random hero you had never heard of for patrol today and he bored you to death. You wanted your spicy nugget back.

You could hear Bakugo banging around upstairs so you knew he was home. Excitedly you teleported into his apartment which was something that had become quite the habit the last few weeks. You quietly snuck over to him as he cooked in the kitchen. You didn't know what it was, but it smelled really fucking good.

You slipped your hands around his waist as you hugged him from behind, “mmm smells good baby.”

“Keep making noises like that and I just might have to bend you over the kitchen table and take you right here.”

You playfully swatted at his stomach, “Such a caveman”

He continued to stir whatever it was he was cooking, “But I’m your caveman.”

You slowly pushed past the waistband of his pants and palmed him through his boxers, “And I’m all yours...”

And that's how Bakugo, for the first time ever....burnt dinner.

*****

You were walking around the apartment wearing one of his t-shirts looking for take out menus. You two had worked up quite the appetite. You returned to his bed, phone in one hand and a ramen menu in the other.

Bakugo put his hand on your thigh and rubbed soothing circles, “Hey I think we need to talk.”

You froze as panic started to seize you. No good conversation ever started that way.

He gently took the things from your hands and pulled you into his lap. Brushing his thumbs over your cheeks, “I think we need to tell our boss we’re dating. It's kind of unprofessional for us to be partnered on patrol if we’re romantically involved.”

You let our a huge sigh of relief, “I thought you were about to break up with me. I was seriously about to start crying.”

He brushed a stray lock of hair away from your face, “Oh no! Dont be fucking dramatic. Of course not you idiot. You think I’d wait five years to make a move just to toss you to the curb. No you’re unfortunately stuck with me.”

You gave him a soft smile and leaned forward snuggling into his neck, “Is that why you want a new patrol partner? Because you’re stuck with me.”

You were just teasing him and he knew that but he still rolled his eyes. “No I love working with you. Honestly, I know I complained at first, but I love getting to see you in action. If anything it turns me on.”

You thumped him on the forehead, “We’re having a serious conversation here reel it in horn dog.”

He frowned, “I went to get some drinks with Kirishima and we got to talking about how scary it is to have significant others also in the hero business. Y/n if something were to happen to you I don't know what I’d do.” His grip on you tightened. “If it were to come down between saving you or catching a villain or hell even saving you or saving a civilian... I would choose you every time. Hero’s aren’t supposed to selfish, but how can I not be when my first priority is always going to be standing right next to me.”

He started to run his hands through his hair out of frustration, “And honestly I don't think changing partners would even help at all. Because I don't know if I could trust anyone on this earth to watch your back while your out there the way I do. I would be worried sick every day. And I know I can’t ask you to quit, that’s not even an option... I’m just freaking out!”

You cradled his head against your chest and you ran your fingers through his hair. You felt a single tear run down your cheek. You knew he cared, but you didn't know he cared this much. That was practically a declaration of love, especially coming from Bakugo. You two had known each other since UA, and you have never seen him show so much emotion that wasn’t rage.

“Oh honey nothing’s going to happen to me. When push comes to shove I can always teleport away. It may only be 50 yards right now but that's farther than I could at the begging of UA! Remember you used to make fun of me because I could only go about 20 feet. You pushed me every day to be better and look where I am now. That’s because of you! Who knows, maybe soon I’ll be able to go miles!”

He got very serious as he took your head in his hands, “Promise me y/n. Promise me that if it’s ever you or me you will always pick yourself. I need to know that if we ever get in a sticky situation you’ll teleport away.”

You could see the desperation in his eyes. He really needed to hear you say it. But you couldn't. It would be a lie. There’s no way you could ever leave him behind. Even before you two were together you still would have fought till the end with him.

“Katsu... you have to understand how impossible that is to ask of me. Could you do it? Leave me behind and run off to safety?” His eyes watered up but no tears spilled out. “I know you couldn't. We’re heroes... it’s in our job description to put others before oursleves.”

His hands left your face and settled in his lap holding on to yours. His eyes couldn't meet yours. You had never seen him so vulnerable. “Please y/n. For my sanity. Just promise me.” His eyes snapped up to yours and they looked so sad but so serious. “I tried so hard to not have feelings for you. For years I teased you and pushed you away because I had convinced myself being a hero would be easier if I did it alone. No matter what I did though I could never get rid of those nagging feelings. You don’t even know how many times I’ve lost my shit over you.”

He took a deep breath, “Once at UA, Mineta somehow had acquired a picture of you while you were changing and I beat the little shit to a pulp.” Oh Shit he really was opening the flood gates now. “All those times I pushed you harder in training was because I knew I wasn’t going to be there with you out in the real world and I wanted to know you could take care of yourself.”

He ran a hand over his reddening face“Shit just last month when we were on patrol! When that villain had you pinned I saw red. I fucking blew his face off. All those times I bitched about you holding me back when really I was just a nervous wreck on high alert all the time!”

He was really on a rant now. His face was flushed as he just continued to get himself worked up. It would have been cute if it wasn’t such a serious topic.

“Babe, I cant even begin to tell you how much I appreciate how much you care about my well being. I really and truly do. But like you said you pushed me so hard in training to make sure I was ready. And thanks to you I am...” You gave his shoulder a playful punch, “Besides you’re Ground Zero! Soon to be the number one hero. There isn’t a villain alive who compares to your power.”

You were just stroking his ego now but he did seem to calm down a bit. “I may not be able to promise I’ll always pick my myself over you. But I can promise that starting now I’ll try and be more careful with the risks I take. I promise I won’t intentionally put myself in danger, how does that sound?”

He groaned and started playing with your hair, “You fucking stuburn women! You never do what I ask and I mean never! If you were anyone else I’d pound some sense into you!”

You wagged your eyebrows, “I mean I’m always down for you to ah... pound... some sense into me.”

“Nope! NO! I will NOT be tempted by pelvic sorcery! You will not distract me...” You could feel his hands sliding up and down your thighs, “Like the biggest brat in the world once said, ‘reel it in horn dog.’”

You moved your hips to grind against him, “I have no idea what you’re talking about. I’m just casually sitting in my incredibly hot boyfriends lap minding my own business...”

“Damnit women!... okay FINE! BUT THIS CONVERSATION ISNT OVER!”

He grabbed your ass with a hard squeeze as he pushed you harder into his growing erection. “Shit what are you doing to me. All you have to do it bat those fucking eyes and I lose my fucking train of thought.” You yelped as he flipped you over and pined you to the mattress. “Now for once just be a good girl and let me take care of you...”

[fuckblizzardbearlover]

Pink Diamond And Why You are Objectively Wrong

Why anti pink diamond naysayers are wrong under the cut

The problem is that all the negative propaganda i’ve seen about Rose (yall should stop Dead-naming her probably) is that its all based on nothing.

Evidence doesnt matter only wild speculation? You want a character to be bad so thats all you see

the apparent philosophy is that Rose should have used her authority to try to stop the colonization. The problem is that there was no evidence she didnt. People spent WEEKS talking about it. We dont know jack squat about homeworld other than what the Crystal Gems have told Steven, what we saw in the Trial and what we’ve heard Peridot say. There was no reason after we found that out to think that “Pink Diamond” DIDNT do everything she could. People made the Assumption and went about that.

Expecting a single person to completely overthrow society is nuts but not as nuts as assuming people are bad until proven otherwise

Yet after learning she did some people still arent satisfied. Saying that she should have openly rebelled....Despite NO evidence that could ever work.

See we dont know anything really about gem society, we dont know how diamond Authority works, how the armies are structured, how Big the empire is. We dont KNOW. But instead of deciding to give the benefit of the doubt, they are deciding to assume the worst. Thats a choice and a baseless one at that.

Thats just...not how people work. Most people are good. even people supporting horrible things can be good, and their problem is that they’ve been misled by misinformation, by propoganda, were raised wrong.

You give people the benefit of the doubt, and only stop when they have PROVEN to not show any progress and no intention of ever trying to change.

The problem is we DO know some things. 

Its safe to assume that in a kids show that good people are good even if they make mistakes even bad ones

We know that Rebecca Sugar is allegedly a good person, as are the developers of the show. We know that its a cartoon show meant for kids, and so its suppose to have a positive message.

So in the light of a lack of information one would assume that since Rose is a GOOD character that she tried everything she could think of.

Just ask Princess Leia why a single woman cant save the galaxy

And we DO have info on why an open rebellion wouldnt work.  We DO know that their empire is galactic, that hundreds of worlds of gems are out there, that its pretty easy for even a fusion like Alexandrite to be outclassed by a mere two gems, that they have weapons to destabalize the forms of gems. We DO know they have instantaneous transportation (Galactic Warps). We have every reason and mountains of evidence that a full galactic war with Earth would have been won easily by homeworld.

We DO know that any gem seen as ‘unfit’ whether they came out wrong or not doing their job has a high chance of being shattered and harvested (i’.e. broken, and their life sucked out killing them. because remember shattering isnt killing its shattering. HARVESTING would kill a gem).

With these two important pieces of information we can make the SAFE assumption with no wild mass guessing that any Open war with homeworld that resulted in the full brunt of Homeworlds military power would have easily  overpowered the gems. That the colonization which based on We’re all falling apart, happens with minimal interaction from a Diamond, would have continued, all life including the ancestors of the current 8 billion humans would have been killed. And every gem on the planet, whether a loyalist, P.D.’s army or Crystal gem would have been murdered and their bodies used to fuel Loyal gems.

“but Pink Diamond could have fought till the end, used her army...”

Could she? where is the evidence. She wanted to stop the gem way of life, stop the colony and the other Diamonds just thought she was being lazy. She didnt want to kill human cities and the Diamonds thought she was just lazy. Gems like Peridot or Agate’s dont even doubt their way of life and understand what any other is. they are sheltered to the point they dont know what weather is. If P.D. gave the order to stop colonization would her armies just laugh at her saying “oh those Diamonds are so funny!”? We know from that same episode that Diamonds dont even interact with the troops, she was expected to not even step foot on earth. allegedly spending the last thousand years stuck on the moon base giving commands through a computer. So we can assume that colonization is fairly automated with gems knowing what their general purpose is, obeying the next higher up with Diamonds being mostly a figure head answering questions that confuse their underlings like “do we go ahead and murder all these people?” or what structures to build.

If open war did start and she actually  fought homeworld from earth....does she even have any space ships? she had 1 kindergarden worth of Amethysts vs  the entire homeworlds. is 100,000 to 1 good odds?

“well maybe the entirety of the Army wouldnt be brought to bare”.

THERE ARE LITERALLY ONLY 4 PEOPLE IN THE GALAXY WHOS LIFE MATTERS AND 1 OF THEM REBELS AND YOU THINK THEY ARE GOING TO JUST LET HER?

A DIAMOND, the ONLY entity in homeworld whos life is valued? Openly rebelling against gem society? You dont think that would have got their attention? we saw from the other episodes that they see her as a stupid lazy child whos SUPPOSE to be a galactic commander. They didnt listen to her because they thought she needed to learn how to completely obliterate a planet on her own like a Diamond is suppose to. They’ve repeatedly shown that not only do they not value organic life they dont value any life but a diamonds. The concept of destroying their way of life to protect some easily  harvested gems and easily squished bloody pulps of humanoids  would be seen as some weird crazy idiot thing the Kid Diamond was doing. From the Evidence of the well documented lack of care for life we know homeworld has, and the Evidence of how the Diamonds view P.D. we can extrapolate that they might do something like Either blow up Earth and “start over” but maybe with supervision, or just automate the construction and “ground’ P.D. while she got reeducated and given another colony in a few thousand years..

BUT DESPITE ALL THIS EVIDENCE WE STILL DONT KNOW BECAUSE WE BARELY KNOW JACK SQUAT ABOUT GEM SOCIETY

so we dont know For sure if all this evidence points to the proper conclusion. My point is that we Dont know what could have happened and what options they had, but we DO know the tone of the show, intent of the author so its safe to say even if Rose didnt magically know the perfect way to rebel that she tried everything she could think of. saying she should have done this or done that is like saying “X war would have ended sooner if the allies had just magically known that these bases up here were working off a skeleton crew and a blitzkrieg would have easily broken through to the capital”

So yes if We Dont know the Details, but you Still Assume the Worst, then Its Your Own Fault and has nothing to do with the story. I saw someone post about how we got a non reaction from Greg...but...why would we? Rose was  a hero, it doesnt matter to him if in some war that took place a thousand year before his greatgreatgreatgreatgreatgreatgreatgreatgreat grandparents were born the rebel leader USED to be one of the homeworld leaders.

the reason this person was mad was because they extrapolated despite no evidence that P.D. did something wrong, because Allegedly (based on no evidence) she could have rebelled in a better way (using “Baby’s First Rebellion handbook, no doubt”).  OF COURSE GREG DIDNT HAVE A PROBLEM WITH IT, he already knew she fought a war to save earth and she won and Earth is saved. The outrage over this is artificial, fake and has no basis in fact!

So yes like i said twice already we dont have all the details and its wrong to assume the worst....

EXCEPT

We do have SOME Details, and not the ones i just listed. We have evidence that what Rose did was good because of what happened.

We DONT know if more gems could be saved, we DONT know if the war could have been ended early, we DONT know whether or not open war would have worked.

But we DO know She wanted to scare the gems off first, she wanted to save earth without a SINGLE person getting hurt, not one human, not one gem. Yes its apparently traumatic to get Poofed otherwise Saphire wouldnt have refered to it as a sacrifice, however we know its ultimately Harmless. Obviously Roses plan was to make the Colony not worth it. But because the Diamonds are shitty people and thought Pink was just being lazy it didnt work and so things had to escalate

We ALSO know that Blue Diamond arrived to oversee the end of the rebellion. Seeing as Pink wasnt even allowed to go onto her own planet it seems safe to assume troop deployment was based on Blues command, so peoples conspiracy that Pink sent out her own troops to fight the crystal gems is baseless with evidence against.

There isnt enough information to know whether P.D.’s plan was a sound one but we KNOW that P.D. was the closest to the other diamonds, if they didnt show enough love to Pink to convince her she mattered it was the Diamonds Fault not Pinks, for not picking up love where none existed. And we can assume based on her characterization that if she knew that the Diamonds would retaliate with evil in their hearts, rather than just leave out of disappointment, she WOULDNT have done that. Again blame the person who fires the bullet, not the person who denied the gunman’s feelings. stop blaming the victim.

And we DO know that Earth was saved. As i said i think there is a high possiblity Earth would be obliterated if Pink rebelled. Essentially the child doesnt want to shoot their dog, so the parents do it for them. But we DONT know. But we DO know that Rose’s decision lead to saving literally billions of lives.

And we DO know that not a single gem life was lost. yes its tragic that many gems were corrupted, but we know based on centipeedle they can be made to be happy and are in peace in their bubbles till they can be cured,  And despite thousands of years of torture, the gem shards are now at piece, and may be able to live a fulfilling life in the future as a fusion. We know based on all evidence that a broken gem is still alive, just disoriented from having its body not attatched. So the only lives lost were whatever humans fought for their freedom, and a few thousand gems were critically injured. I’d say a few thousand casualties is a small price to pay in any war.

We DO know that the Crystal Gems legitimately thought they were safe on earth, thought all dead, As we learned in “alternate ending” that Rose didnt even WANT steven she just wanted to have a child and have them grow up. No magical gem destiny. We DO know that Earth is safe and in good hands. And there is a possibility that even all the gems who were shattered may one day be happy again.

We DONT know what could have happened if Pink openly rebelled. But the only way to be ‘better” is things lead to a few more crystal gems being unshattered. but it also might have meant millions dead.

We DO know that her decision worked out for the best. Stevens happy, Gregs, happy, Pearl is happy, Garnet is happy, Peridot is Happy, offcolors can migrate to earth, corrupted gems can achieve happyness despite their disability, and shattered gems can find piece

So Stop going out of your way to ruin this for yourselves and being angry

[undlewear]

Yknow when you just get gradually sanded down emotionally until youre like a weird pulp honestly my whole life has been this from various sources for various reasons but quite frankly its an entirely different experience when its coming from someone i dont love at all or truly give any shits about at all like. when people i love did this shit to me at least i had that to comfort me about it i dunno, was like water to swallow a nasty horse pill or something. did it mean i didnt resent them for it later, no, but it certainly delayed the process and also made it far easier to forgive. i sleep like shit and then i wake up and feel like shit and then i go out and dont want to seek out any seratonin boosts for myself at all for like hours its like a weird intentional withdrawal of any sort of joy because im being made to feel like i dont deserve it for …truly petty asinine shit that like …nobody else gives a shit about actually? like a bagel or a plant or a stain on the counter like literally not exaggerating. i dont want to listen to music i dont want to eat i dont want to draw i dont want to play games or watch videos i just want to wallow and fester in anger for some reason and i also want to get into my car and drive away and never come back or look back. i signed a lease i live here and when this person wasnt home for like two weeks it was pretty good aside from all the responsibilities i was left with (doing for free btw while also managing work and school lmfao?) but like they come home and immediately its chaotic again immediately i dont look forward to coming back to my apartment even after being in school from 8 am to 5 pm today i still was like nah dont really wanna go home but i gotta? to get nagged and bitched at about random ass shit, to constantly get asked for help for dumb shit, to be passively aggressively nagged too. how is it that im in the same situation i was back home where i didnt even want to leave my room or do anything at all every day but instead one of the people i live with is someone who simply does not know me or care to and therefore i gotta worry about offending them if i dont feel like leaving the goddamn door open every waking hour or at all, i never have liked leaving the door open to my space because its my space and its only open to people i share it with so why would i leave it open for people who dont reside in here with me? this shit is so scrambled and a total clusterfuck and makes no sense but i am truly festering and boiling under the surface every waking moment for the past few days. why is it that everyone else’s problems and trauma or whatever the fuck is wrong with them always precedes me so when im bothered by stuff i just gotta eat it to preserve their well being and prevent a fuckin meltdown or something, just gotta eat that fuckin irritation over and over and over again and it never goes anywhere and then people wonder why im always a little pissed off or a little withdrawn. the compassion fatigue shit that i have (look it up its normal and common when people use you as an emotional support dog for the better part of your life, thanks mom n dad n other supporting cast of random strangers) anyway this compassion fatigue shit would probably yknow heal itself or gradually get better if i could go more than a month without being dragged down into somebody’s mud or blamed for their mud but that shit just aint gonna happen while living with this individual. i mean how can she not see her whole fuckin family fears her in some way or another, whole family is bored and tired of the antics, you go through life thinking everybody else is at fault for every negative feeling you endure. probably sounds weird coming from me complaining about someone this whole post but lol i know my suffering stems from a lot of shit that i did to myself and behaviors that i didnt correct/address and trauma that i buried rather than expressing it up front lol i cant blame everybody else for everything i mean a lot of it is on me but this shit ??? this shit aint

[feycreature]

All Of Them (multiples of 3 work tho dhdhgfj)

@furrybarista asked for a few as well but here we are

1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?

last person i dmed? yeah

2. You talked to an ex today, correct?

every day

3. Have you taken someones virginity?

nope

4. Is trust a big issue for you?

not really

5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently?

ive hung out with One person recently

6. What are you excited for?

dnd in about 2 hours!

7. What happened tonight?

well tonight im playing dnd, last night i finished watching dread?

8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted?

i think its uncomfortable to be around anyone whos really wasted, idk about disgusting

9. Is confidence cute?

yes

10. What is the last beverage you had?

i currently have a strawberry smoothie from pulp

11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?

thats a difficult question to answer when i and almost all of my friends are trans and thats confusingly worded in this context

12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans?

yes

13. What are you gonna do Saturday night?

either play video games or dnd, probably

14. What are you going to spend money on next?

probably starbucks

15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed?

nope

16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months?

absolutely

17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?

probably dante or luca

18. The last time you felt broken?

i prefer not to think about that because its very often

19. Have you had sex today?

no

20. Are you starting to realize anything?

not that i can think of rn

21. Are you in a good mood?

yeah!

22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks?

yes!

23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s?

probably? idk i try to avoid eye contact with him

24. What do you want right this second?

to kiss my boyfriend

25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?

well, given that i know You, dante, you wouldnt just go and kiss someone else without talking to me about it, and assuming a conversation about that happened, i would be supportive of that endeavor

26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color?

sort of? its still brown on the sides but i dyed it red a couple months ago so its pink on top

27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?

probably not

28. What was the last thing that made you laugh?

I HAVE SO MANY PEOPLE I WANNA HUG AND NEVER LET GO SO IM JUST GONNA MAKE A KATAMARI OF LOVE

29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now?

ALL MY FRIENDS

30. Does everyone deserve a second chance?

depends what they did and how they feel about it

31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to?

THE LAST BOY I WAS TALKING TO WAS U DANTE

32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do?

I SURE HOPE U DO

33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda?

i Rarely drink soda

34. Listening to?

in one ear by cage the elephant

35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore?

yep!

36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is?

not specifically

37. Do you believe in love at first sight?

nope

38. Who did you last call?

my mom probably

39. Who was the last person you danced with?

uhhh i think booker in 8th grade. i dont dance

40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed?

because we were dating and we wanted to

41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake?

last night

42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today?

nope

43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?

i embarrass myself in front of everyone, all the time

44. Do you tan in the nude?

i have a goddamn farmer’s tan

45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss?

nope!

46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night?

yeah

47. Who was the last person to call you?

also my mom, probably

48. Do you sing in the shower?

yes

49. Do you dance in the car?

yeah,

50. Ever used a bow and arrow?

i have an archery range in my basement

51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?

school photos last year

52. Do you think musicals are cheesy?

YES AND I LOVE THEM

53. Is Christmas stressful?

yes but purely bc of family interaction

54. Ever eat a pierogi?

all the time??

55. Favorite type of fruit pie?

apple

56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?

uhh i wanted to be an astronaut for a while

57. Do you believe in ghosts?

yeah

58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?

who doesnt

59. Take a vitamin daily?

nope

60. Wear slippers?

nah

61. Wear a bath robe?

i own one, dont wear it often

62. What do you wear to bed?

t shirt and pjam pants

63. First concert?

owl city

64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?

walmart i guess?

65. Nike or Adidas?

i own a pair of adidas shoes thats abt it66. Cheetos Or Fritos?

fritos

67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?

sunflower seeds

68. Favorite Taylor Swift song?

no.

69. Ever take dance lessons?

nope

70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?

i forget the exact words but the cool nerd stuff u do,

71. Can you curl your tongue?

yes

72. Ever won a spelling bee?

never been in one

73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy?

all the time

74. What is your favorite book?

lame but the great gatsby

75. Do you study better with or without music?

i dont study well, period

76. Regularly burn incense?

hate it

77. Ever been in love?

i am right now!

78. Who would you like to see in concert?

other than the artists ive already seen in concert: icon for hire, walk the moon, bastille, cage the elephant, and steam powered giraffe

79. What was the last concert you saw?

fall out boy! the mania tour! apparently cleveland was the start of the tour so i was in the first group of people to ever hear expensive mistakes!

80. Hot tea or cold tea?

iced

81. Tea or coffee?

tea

82. Favorite type of cookie?

uhhh the really good sugar cookies i learned to make off tumblr

83. Can you swim well?

id like to think so

84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?

didnt know there were people who cant

85. Are you patient?

on a good day

86. DJ or band, at a wedding?

dj

87. Ever won a contest?

yeah

88. Ever have plastic surgery?

nope

89. Which are better black or green olives?

depends in what

90. Opinions on sex before marriage?

go for it

91. Best room for a fireplace?

living room

92. Do you want to get married

probably 

[city127-archive]

Rules: answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people

I was tagged by: @taezever 👼💫💕

last

1. drink - water
2. phone call - my dad 
3. text message- ‘yeee its saved too’
4. song you listened to - probably instagram by dean..? i don’t remember 
5. time you cried - ehhh last sunday maybe?

ever

6. dated someone twice - nah
7. kissed someone and regretted it - not rlly
8. been cheated on - nope
9. lost someone special - idk,, i dont think so,,
10. been depressed - yup
11. gotten drunk and thrown up - gotten drunk yes, but not thrown up

fave colors

12. baby blue
13. light pink
14. light yellow

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends - yess
16. fallen out of love - nope
17. laughed until you cried - idk man probably 
18. found out someone was talking about you - uhh yeah 
19. met someone who changed you - i think so?
20. found out who your friends are - yeah
21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list - not in the last year

general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl - most of them
23. do you have any pets - umm a few goldfish

24. do you want to change your name - i mean sora’s not my *actual* name and i’d honestly change it to that bc my birth name is ☠️☠️
25. what did you do for your last birthday - literally nothing lmao
26. what time did you wake up today - 8 am
27. what were you doing at midnight last night - sleeping for once 
28. what is something you cant wait for - my trip to japan!!
30. what are you listening to right now - nothing
31. have you ever talked to a person named tom - i think so??? maybe not
32. something that’s getting on your nerves - mostly myself lol
33. most visited website -tumblr or ao3
34. hair color - black
35. long or short hair - long w/my extensions,, p short without

36. do you have a crush on someone - im always crushing on like everybody

37. what do you like about yourself - my?? idk my voice ig

38. want any piercings? -yes!! a septum and more ear piercings ((i wanted nipple piercings for a hot minute lmao))
39. blood type - i have no idea my mom lost the document that said it
40. nicknames - cy, sometimes cereal
41. relationship status - single as heckles
42. zodiac - aries,, technically maybe an aries/taurus cusp but it depends on who you ask
43. pronouns - she/her
44. fave tv shows - hannibal, the office, death note, devilman crybaby
45. tattoos - i want one on my inner arm
46. right or left handed - right handed
47. ever had surgery - nope
48. piercings - just my lones
49. sport - i used to do figure skating, gymnastics, dance ((some ballet nd contemporary)) and karate but i quit bc im inconsistent as hell yay!!
50. vacation - most of the time i just go visit family in africa
51. trainers - what

more general

52. eating - ramennn
53. drinking - water w/ lemon juice
54. i’m about to watch - i gotta finish rewatching the office
55. waiting for - my lil baby hixtapr
56. want - money and a boyf/gf
57. get married - not my main goal but i wouldnt mind
58. career - fashion designer? graphic designer?? industrial designer?? research psychologist?? i have no idea ((but i rlly like designing stuff so probs one of those))

which is better

59. hugs or kisses - hugss
60. lips or eyes - eyes
61. shorter or taller - taller which isnt hard bc im 5’5
62. older or younger - older,, until im at least like 25,, younger’s a bit weird during teenage years bc a 14 year old’s so different from a 15 year old and so on
63. nice arms or stomach - stomachh
64. hookup or relationship - relationship but idv
65. troublemaker or hesitant - idkk

have you ever

66. kissed a stranger - nope
67. drank hard liquor - yess
68. lost glasses - once
69. turned someone down - yes
70. sex on first date - never
71. broken someone’s heart - idk,, might have once
72. had your heart broken - yee ig
73. been arrested - nope im a pure kid
74. cried when someone died - yes
75. fallen for a friend - probably

do you believe in

76. yourself - meh
77. miracles - not rlly
78. love at first sight - i want to even if i know its not true
79. santa claus - no
80. kiss on a first date - yeah why not
81. angels - maybe,, its a nice possibility but idk

other

82. best friend’s name - uhh torie?
83. eye colour - dark brown almost black
84. fave movie - okay so;; whiplash, the grand budapest hotel, the imitation game, the wolf of wall street, pulp fiction 
85. fave actor - i have no idea

I’m tagging: @glowcherry @yoongihoneys @taelaev @dreamytaehyungx @rainpjm @satanbagel @nctit @jellyhyun @jinsbangtan

feel free to not do this!!

[the-casbah-way]

tag!!!

I was tagged by @the-black-queen-march thank u!!! <3

Rules: Answer 30 questions and tag 10 blogs you are contractually obligated to know

Nicknames: big bopper

Gender/Pronouns: big/bopper

Star Sign: big bopper jk i’ll stop w that now

Height: 5″6

Time: ‪an illusion, next question

Birthday: april 6

Favourite Bands: the clash, the kinks, the monkees, green day, pulp, the big boppers

Favourite Solo Artist: t h e b i g b o p p e r

Song Stuck In Your Head?: i dont have one stuck in my head but in drama class today we had to walk round in circles saying ‘is she innocent?’ like a million times over and over and i cant get it out of my head im going to scream

Last Movie You Watched?: the graduate......for the millionth time....i still dk what i think of it

Last Show?: i cant remember so i’ll just say big bopper again

Why Did You Create Your Blog?: i was a funky child and decided it would be a good idea to make a sid vicious blog and thus the beast was born

What Do You Post/Reblog?: shite

Last Thing You Googled?: redacted for legal reasons

Other Blogs: @vicvegacore

Do You Get Asks?: yea but i ignore them all bc theyre funky and im tired

How Did You Get the Idea for Your URL?: i was listening to rock the casbah and joe strummer screamed NOW THE CASBAH WAYYYYYYYYY in my ear and i Knew

I Follow: the teachings of our lord and saviour Jesus Christ (jk like 200 bc i cba following ppl)

Followers: 900 (why)

Average Hours Of Sleep: idk my sleep schedule is fucked but recently like 3

Lucky Number: 22 and 13

Instruments: indeed

What Are You Wearing?: lederhosen 

Dream Job: idk anymore i want to be an historical archivist but i’ll never get into uni

Dream Trip: crystal meth

Favorite Food: the berries of straw

Significant Other?: in my head? james spader. don’t tell him he doesn’t know yet

Last Book I Read: a people’s tragedy by orlando figes ((mmmmmm sexy russian history))

Top 3 Fictional Universes: big bopper

im tagging the usual squad pls ignore this unless u actually want to do it @mikedirnts-sideburns @all-alone-in-the-moonlight @stexpress @crustyggoblin @donttalktomewhenimreading @rock-n-roll-curly-blonde @softhyuken

[salt-licks]

8 Question Tag

thanks @leesungjongg for tagging me! <3 1. When was the last time you went on a trip and where did you go?

Summer of 2016 and I went to India ~.~ it was nice for the most part but i felt like for the almost 2 months i was there, i couldve done more shit?? idk but i still had fun 2. What are some Infinite songs that you NEVER listen to and why?

..Mom from the Destiny album..not gonna lie, i never even listened to it once. I have this weird thing of not listening to songs pertaining to family because it feels awkward to listen to bc i cant relate , yikes.  Real Story too, I dont have a specific reason but i never have a desire to listen to it? Also Close Your Eyes..i love woohyun but his style of music just isnt my type :x 3. You’re chosen to fight in a boxing match with your bias. Will you fight them? Why or why not? lol nooo, sungjong could beat me into a pulp (i doubt he actually would) and i’d be ok with that :’) 4. What is a toy you miss from your childhood that doesn’t seem to be around anymore? Bruh, i had this winx club dollhouse or something like that and I used to play with that thing everyday and one day it just went missing?? i have no idea what happened to it :’( 5. Who/What always manages to cheer you up on a bad day? My fwends <3333, honestly, I always turn to my friends when im not feeling so great 6. When was the last time you said “I love you” to your parent(s)?

haha i wish i could remember lol 7. Would you rather sing a song in front of a mirror and not know that there are people behind the mirror, or sing in front of a crowd (of mannequins)? sing in front of a crowd of mannequins because theyre not real peepole ~.~ 8. What are some of your favorite holidays? (not including halloween, thanksgiving, christmas, easter…) even though I don’t fully celebrate it, Diwali. i just love seeing all the diyas around and in my house, especially when its dark and all the lights look so pretty. since i have to idea what to ask, im not tagging anyone sowwy lol

[low-budget-mulan]

All of the "hella [...] cute yall" asks! Muhahaha!

First of all tumblr changed and for some reason I am not getting all the asks that are being sent to me. So sorry for the late response 

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk?

More cereal than milk.

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?

I absolutely love the cold. it is my favorite thing ever 

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books?

I have used very weird things. Usually whatever is closest. i used a slice of cheese once... 

4: how do you take your coffee/tea?

i take my coffee the way I like my men rich and creamy or strong and black. there is no in between . 

5: are you self-conscious of your smile?

I don’t ever really smile. so i mean not really 

6: do you keep plants?

until they die yes. 

7: do you name your plants?

no??? i’m not weird 

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?

sleep

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?

if absolutely nobody is around 

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?

yes 

11: what's an inner joke you have with your friends?

where to begin. Snao, i dont need this my man has two jobs, it’s the strangest thing. it’s the weirdest thing, drugs, AMERICA EXPLAIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNN, i eat dogs for breakfast. there is so many more that I am just going to stop here. 

12: what's your favorite planet?

URANUS 

13: what's something that made you smile today?

my friend 

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?

empty because we would be using all of our money to pay rent in the stupid place 

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is!

My dad is helping to build the satellite to replace the hubble space telescope. 

16: what's your favorite pasta dish?

RAVIOLI 

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?

PURPLE 

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.

i MADE MY PRIEST THINK I WAS PREGNANT WHILE I WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL. AND THE FATHER WAS ONE OF THE OTHER HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS 

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it?

no. I have always been unable to keep journals because my family doesn’t respect my personal space 

20: what's your favorite eye color?

tbh I really like brown eyes. 

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that's been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces.

I don’t really have a favorite bag. 

22: are you a morning person?

hell no 

23: what's your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?

sleep and netflix 

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?

no 

25: what's the weirdest place you've ever broken into?

the church 

26: what are the shoes you've had for forever and wear with every single outfit?

i recently had to throw them away. I am now forced to wear shoes that are too small because I am too stubborn to buy new ones 

27: what's your favorite bubblegum flavor?

idk 

28: sunrise or sunset?

sunset 

29: what's something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing?

whenever i do something stupid/awkward/embarrasing my friend being completely honest will say “youre cute” she is great and must be protected at all costs 

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared?

when i was forced to walk through the women’s march in san francisco 

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks.

i prefer bearefoot, but i wear silly socks or just don’t match my socks 

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.

for a second i though turtles said quack 

33: what's your fave pastry?

Conchitas 

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?

it was a little stuffed girl doll thing. its name was sara (at the time I thought my name was Sarah so my doll had a different name than me) 

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often?

yes, but am not artistic, so they just go to waste 

36: which band's sound would fit your mood right now?

wal 

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean?

clea, but it is alwasy messy 

38: tell us about your pet peeves!

idk can’t think of them off the top of my head, but when people do things then i get annoyed 

39: what color do you wear the most?

black to match my soul 

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what's it's story? does it have any meaning to you?

my scapular, but it isn’t jewelry. I don’t wear jewelry just religious items. my scapular is blessed by pope francis and a third class relic of a couple saints 

41: what's the last book you remember really, really loving?

the bible 

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it!

honu. its smol, family owned, and peaceful. 

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with?

it’s been too long. cant remember 

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?

adoration 

45: do you trust your instincts a lot?

yes 

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of.

it’s kinda cheesy so i don’t think it will be very gouda. 

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?

pineapple on pizza 

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?

idk wasn’t really a scared kid 

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought?

yes. can’t remember 

50: what's an odd thing you collect?

scapulars 

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them?

the digicatholit fam and taste of eternity 

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far?

united memes 

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them?

no, no, yes, yes. the ones ive seen I liked 

54: who's the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face?

my grandpa when my grandma was in the hospital last week 

55: what's the most dramatic thing you've ever done to prove a point?

ummmmm can’t remember, but i do lots of things to prove points. 

56: what are some things you find endearing in people?

idk 

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics?

it’s overplayed, but I like it. no. I am a normal person 

58: who's the wine mom and who's the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?

me and me 

59: what's your favorite myth?

idk 

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?

yes. i lik the bred 

61: what's the stupidest gift you've ever given? the stupidest one you've ever received?

i gave someone a lego once. not a set of legos, not a lego man. a singular lego piece 

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind?

no 

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be?

no. theyre everywhere 

64: what color is the sky where you are right now?

 blue and cloudy 

65: is there anyone you haven't seen in a long time who you'd love to hang out with?

yes. renee. it’s been almost 2 days 

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like?

non existent. i’d like to not die of allergies 

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel?

i love them. 

68: what's winter like where you live?

hot 

69: what are your favorite board games?

monopoly and quelf 

70: have you ever used a ouija board?

i was forced into playing it by someone who used to be my friend. I STRONGLY RECOMMEND NOT USING THEM EVER. 

71: what's your favorite kind of tea?

iced 

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you'll forget it?

yes, but im too lazy 

73: what are some of your worst habits?

all of them 

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns.

lit

75: tell us about your pets!

theyre ded 

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren't?

ye 

77: pink or yellow lemonade?

pink 

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?

MINIONS ARE LIKE MY FAVORITE THING EVER 

79: what's one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?

my friend will stay up super late watching movies with me even though he has things to do in the morning. 

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?

dark blue. no. 

81: describe one of your friend's eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of.

puddles of poo 

82: are/were you good in school?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA i could have been better 

83: what's some of your favorite album art?

idk 

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?

hell yea. mostly catholic stuff 

85: do you read comics? what are your faves?

john paul ii comic books 

86: do you like concept albums? which ones?

i guess 

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?

monty python, heavyweights, nacho libre 

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy?

catholic ones 

89: are you close to your parents?

no 

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities.

it’s hot and theres a lot to do 

91: where do you plan on traveling this year?

JAPAN 

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch?

yes 

93: what's the hairstyle you wear the most?

not brushing it because i am lazy 

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday?

idk? 

95: what are your plans for this weekend?

sleep 

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot?

i wait until it won’t let me wait any longer 

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house?

infj sign of the cross slytherin 

98: when's the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it?

idk it was fine 

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them.

taste of eternity, your love

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?

future 

[freerebelmentality]

Take me to church pt7

Catch up here >> Pt1 , Pt2 , Pt3 , Pt4 , Pt5 , Pt6

Word Count: 2,135

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Once you turned into the clubs parking lot, parked the car and turned off the engine. You got out to see the bikes perfectly lined up and knowing a few of them are inside having drinks like there is no tomorrow. You pull the door open, walk in but everyone is to busy to even notice you because they are being busy distracted by the many crow eaters.

You see one trying to get Chibs attention, that got you angry and you walked towards them. You grabbed the girl by the hair and threw her off of him.  When she hit the floor is when that caught every ones attention, Chibs turned around to see what the problem was until he saw you and his expression changes from angry to worry.

“Connie?” You ask as soon as she quickly gets back up

“Y/n what the fuck is your problem?” She asks holding the back of her head

“My problem is you trying to get with my old man” You tell her while everyone is the room is either confused or shocked to hear you say that

“I knew it” Juice says in a hushed tone in hopes you wouldnt hear because he didnt want to get an earful from you.

“Yours? Oh honey, I dont think he would be into you” She says a little to smugly

“Because Im not a whore like you” You retort while the room goes completely quiet

“Some things never change” You say while nodding to Chibs to leave, he leads the way out while you follow behind him.

“What the fuck did you just say?” She asks pulling you back to face her

“In high school you are the same person as you are now. Im surprised you have to come here and live out your dream come true” You tell her once more and try to walk out the door.

She grabbed you by the shoulders and slaps you across the face. You tackle her to the floor giving yourself the advantage to throw punches to her face. Connie grabs your hand and manages to throw you off of her, you go flying across the floor as she gets up quickly to grab the chair and about to throw it over across your back.

You kick her before she could do anything and she stumbles back to catch her breath. Juice and Bobby try to pull you two apart but the strength on both of you threw them to the side. Both of you stumble out the door continuing fighting while Chibs on the other hand yells at you to stop but you dont listen.

He thought you were right behind him and he got pretty turned on about how territorial you got over him. He couldnt believe you came down to the club house and wanted to see him.

Connie is the one who rose on her feet, she took her chance and kicked you to the side and continued.

“I have been here and you were gone y/n” She says as she continues to kick you

Making you roll away from her to catch your breath and try to regain some strength, Bobby tries to pull her away from you but she sucker punched him. Kicked Juice in the groin.

“I have been trying to be Chibs old lady and you come strolling in here like as if you own the guy” She says once more and just before she grabs you on your feet is when you grabbed her arm.

You pulled her to the ground and got on top of her. You punched her left and right until she wasnt moving anymore. Chibs saw the bloody mess and grabbed you off of her.

“Thats enough, thats enough. THATS ENOUGH!!!” He yells to get your attention.

You look to him finally and back at her. She lies there lifeless until Tig came running out.

“WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED?” He yells trying to get some answers.

He finally sets his sights on you, he sees the blood from the side of your mouth and you holding your sides.

“You alright sweet heart?” He asks holding your face in both of his hands

“It is now” You simply answer and look to Connie

Tig goes to check if she is alive, which she is.

“You did this?” He asks looking to you.

You nod your head sitting on Chibs bike while you lean on him for support.

“Why? What did she do to you?” He asks in confusion

“Because she was all over Chibs and got me all territorial with him” You answer while everyone couldnt believe that was said out loud.

“You beat the shit out of a crow eater because she was throwing herself at him? Is there something we should know?” He asks not exactly sure if he understood you.

“Yes, Im in love with Chibs. Always have been. I love Chibs. Once I saw Connie all over him, I had to claim whats mine” You tell him as you spit out blood.

“What the fuck happened here?” Clay asks once he pulls into the parking lot and stops his bike

“Why are half my guys half beaten?” He asks looking around to Bobby and Juice

“Y/n came to the club house, saw a crow eater throw herself at Chibs, she got pissed and beat the shit out of her” Juice says while one hand is holding his groin

“Bobby and I tried stopping her but she sucker punched Bobby and kicked me in the balls. Y/n got the upper hand and” He continues while pointing to Connie’s lifeless form

“Where is my daughter?” He asks looking around until he saw Chibs and he moved slightly

“Jesus fucking Christ” He says while covering his mouth with one hand and comes to see how you are doing

“Baby girl, you alright?” He asks in a gentle tone

You nod still holding your side.

“Someone take her to the hospital” Clay says while pointing at Connie who slowly gets up

“You two. Chapel. Now!” He says pointing to you and Chibs

Chibs helps you to your feet and helps you into the club house. The others wait outside and didnt want to be Chibs right now.

“Y/n come sit at my left. Chibs on my right” He says and helps you to sit on the chair.

Chibs new that this had to happen at some point but he hoped that he wouldnt get transferred to another charter because he would hate to be away from you.

“Chibs how do you feel about my daughter?” He asks looking to him

“Im in love wit her, I have always been in love wit her and I love her” Chibs says in hopes he wouldnt do the unthinkable.

“You would protect her, treat her good and wouldnt put her in harms way?” He asks in a hushed tone.

“Aye, dont know what I would do if something were to happen” Chibs says while looking to you.

“Since I cant say or do anything to keep you apart and knowing my daughter she is just going to do as she pleases. You two have my blessing and dont worry, Im not going to transfer you to another charter. Y/n would definitely beat the crap out of me if I did” Clay finishes of the rest of his blessing and gets up to give Chibs a hug.

You were about to get up as well, dizziness took over your body and you fell to the floor. Clay and Chibs rushed to your side right away and called an ambulance. They came rushing inside right away and rushed you to the hospital. Clay called Jax and told him what happened. He woke up Tara, she got ready quickly and left for the hospital. He had to get someone to sit with Abel while he got ready. Thankfully he got a hold of Happy and he was good with watching the baby.

Tara got your blood work done and noticed something was different about the results of your blood. She waited until you woke up and check on you by touch, since an MRI, full scan and x-rays are out of the question. Shortly after you woke up with a bad head ache and a light sensitivity to light.

“Hey sleeping beauty, I almost went and got prince charming in here to wake you with a kiss” She says with a slight smile.

You look to her confused

“You collapsed back at the club house. Ambulance rushed you here but couldnt give you x rays or anything because you are pregnant” Tara says in hushed tone

You look to her in disbelief but it all made sense.

“Chibs?” She asks while you shake your head.

“David Hale” You simply answer.

“Do you want anyone knowing?” She asks and you shake your head.

“Ok, secret safe with me. I do want an ultra sound here to see how far along you are and in hopes there isnt any sign of tares or anything” She says while looking to you.

“Make sure everyone is gone or not near the door when you bring in the ultra sound machine in” You tell her and she nods and goes out the door.

She tells everyone that you would be ok and needed some rest for the night. Everyone left the hospital but not Chibs. He wanted to wait until he was able to see you. Gemma told him to call if everything is ok. He waited in the lobby for Tara to come and get him. She went and got the machine.

“I managed to get everyone to leave except for one” She says with the machine in tow and goes to your bed side.

“Chibs?” You ask with a slight smile. She smiles at the answer.

“What happened anyway?” She asks while getting the machine ready

“After the Chibs talk with my parents. I got all happy and wanted see him. So I went down to the club house, saw him and a crow eater by the name of Connie. I went to high school with her. Seeing her throw herself at him got me all territorial with him and beat her to a pulp” You tell Tara while the rage comes back again.

“I know what that is like. But it was a pornstar by the name of Ima Tite” She says with vemon.

“Ima? Shit. That herpe living out her dream too?” You chuckle at the sudden realization who Ima is and also went to high school with her

“I remember she always tried to hang out with me just because of my brother and the club but never wanted to be friends with that gash of a wart” You tell Tara as she chuckles and looks at the screen.

You are taken away from memory lane at the sound of a tiny heart beat. You look to the screen as well while Tara has a wide smile and tears begin to form. You form tears as well.  Your nugget is a strong baby after the beating you took and gave.

**

Everything has gone by and everything with other charters have heated up with the club. That made you worry about your family and everyone else.

You moved out of your parents place once you made enough money to get a place of your own along with your own vehicle.

ATF has been crawling up your ass about the club but as always you tell em to stick it where the sun dont shine.

You didnt like the one agent Stahl, especially when she kept referring you as the clubs princess. They had nothing to hold you for anything along with sending you to jail because you are completely clean.

You found out that you are pregnant with Davids baby and you havent told anyone yet. You wanted to wait until everything has settled well you hope that everything would.

You are getting ready for a funeral for the prospect Kip. You couldnt believe that he is gone and you were already getting used of him being around. Now all you could see is mere images of him around the club. Like as if his ghost is lurking around the club.

“Hey baby you almost ready?” Mom asks as she knocks on the bathroom door.

You decided to make a visit to your parents place before you did the unthinkable and going to Davids to tell him that you are pregnant and the baby is his.

“Yeah, I just need to do something before the funeral. You and dad can meet me over there” You tell her as you walk out of the bathroom and give her a kiss to the cheek.

[booksbroadwaybbc]

Don't know what to do with myself. via /r/selfimprovement

Don't know what to do with myself.

Hi. I'm 21 and still in community college, but I did get my provisional admission to this university I wanted to transfer to. I work as a runner at Din Tai Fung and I'm supposed to make bank, but I don't really know yet because I'm a new employee. Headtitle question at the bottom

I think I've lived an okay-ish life, kind of. story time, skip to the end if you dont wanna read it I come from a Korean family, can't say I remember much of my childhood except mostly being beaten and yelled at. There were good times too, but they usually ended prettily shittily. Moved around a bunch, went to a lot of schools. I've dealt with a lot of abusive stuff from both parents, but I'm not going to talk about my mom because things have gotten better and she's still here for me(?). For some extreme stuff- my dad broke my brothers toes in elementary school. In my senior year, he threatened me at knifepoint and forced it into my hands and told me to stab my brother or he would stab me. Beatings from him were pretty bad, and it's not just belts and sticks bad. I played co-ed baseball in 5th grade, so bam, there was that too. He liked to throw chairs and literally flip tables when he was angry (hes a private construction worker, so he's pretty strong). Broke a lot of his phones throwing them at us, the wall, the floor, whatever. Ive had a lot of problems with my social affairs in highschool- anxiety, being cold, being short tempered, aggressive, violent, sharp tongued. I started warming up in senior year because of this girl I dated, which was a pretty big deal because gays are not allowed in this household. And well, im bi but its the same thing to them. Can't say that went too well, because my brother found out and blackmailed me in the situation we were living in. But who cares, because siblings hate each other right? Anyways, broke up with her, broke her heart, treated her poorly and whatever two years later we made up and was able to be friends again. Back to dad- he was usually never around for things like elementary grad, middle school grad, and highschool- my mom made him come, but he sure didn't seem happy about it. In highschool, he only laid down on his phone playi ng his shitty phone games. Doesnt talk to me, doesnt talk to my brother, doesnt talk to my mom. His routine: wake up, go to work, come home, phone games, eat, phone games, sleep. If you try to talk to him, he ignores you. If you press it, he'll give you some boring answer like "go away already".

Anywho, that abusive fuck was caught cheating. Had an affair with a client's sister. Sold the house we lived in, mom moved to Newark, him to San Leandro. Mom didnt want to deal with me, so I got the boot and lived wjth acquaintances in Hayward. Couldnt afford it, so mom told me to move to San Leandro with him. I moved in with my best friend helping me and we saw the evidence. Bambam, hello lady clothing and shit. I went apeshit nuts and he tried to convince me, then threatened that I would be in big trouble if i said anything. (Parents were separated but not divorced). Alright, ill keep my big mouth shut.

I worked for his "girlfriend" at her cafe in Berkeley. Why? Well, it was easy money and i needed it to keep up with my shitty coping habits- partying and party favors, mostly e. You dont have to deal with stress if youre always out partying.

Anywho, fast forward, skip a lot of details. Mom gets a phone call one day from mutual acquaintance saying dad is sick and asks her to bring him some food. Alright. So she does because she still cares, and finds out the truth. Calls me and demands me to come right now and unlock the door- note that this is a 40 minute drive. By the time i get there, theres hella police and a window is broken and theres hella shit going on. Things settled down but being my immature ass i scream at my parents for both being immature, and they shouldve just cut things clean. I yell at my dad for being a fuckhead and cheating, you didnt raise a liar but you are one. I yell at my mom for being irresponsible and breaking things. Police grabs my shoulder but i swipe it off and bam. Im on the floor, face into concrete, chipped teeth and i cant even see where my dog is. Tbh i was more worried that he ran off because he was still a puppy and i was holding him during this whole ordeal. My glasses got knocked off my face when those two officers fucking bodyslammed me into the ground. I'm 5ft4, i weighed like 130 at this time but im just a legit smol asian girl.

What happened next? Well yknow, i got arrested and sent to jail for assaulting a police officer, nbd. Sat there for a few hours, listening to some psycho making weird noises. Finally get some call saying that my mom was waiting for me, and she bailed me out. She was crying a lot and told me that my dad didnt even bat an eye as they took me away, that he smiled and tried to fix his goddamn broken window. I believe it too, because I saw that shitty smirk on his face when i got to the scene. My mom has a bit of an uncontrollable temper so she looks psycho when the other person was the wack one. This was in January 2017.

Skip forward to the next police thing. June 2017. My mom demands that i pack all my shit and move back, and she wants to go with me. I plead no, but what am i gonna do against her? Alright, we drive and she starts saying stuff about lying and calls the bitch a slut and homewrecker and stuff, dad gets up to stand inbetween and stuff. Tells her to move than basically shoves her across the living room towards the door. **insert hysteria and bam again, screaming and each other, his hands on her, me trying to squeeze my body in between them and get his hands off of her. Doesnt really work cos he turns on me, hits me away and goes back to beat her. My screaming doesnt really help either, but i try what I can to claw his arms off of her. Nooooo, bad idea, but better me than her. He grabs me and my head is locked into his elbow so I bite down, arm. Baaaad idea again, but its in self defense imo. Im just trying to help my mom. He p much beats me up into a pulp her, grabs my shirt all the way up and yikes thats embarassing. The struggle goes on and eventually its calm again because slutface is like "honey staph"- note: only words and no actions to get close, buuuut, it works. Me and mom move to my room and start removing all my weebshit from the walls. Mom is muttering and saying a bunch of bs for him to hear and he storms into the room because hes fucking triggered and start the violence again. Oh but this is where i do the fun thing- i lunge myself at him so im like on top of him but holy shit, he legit pulls me off of him and throws me against the wall cabinets, and two hand chokes me, with his knees on my chest. Mom starts screaming at him, claws his face and soon the police are here and shit. Bitch called the police, and this is where it gets more fucked up. I legally live here, its on my license. I came back to move out, so its okay for me to be here, because i came to pack my stuff and take whats mine. So why exactly did the police not believe me? Why did my mom get arrested for putting dumb scratches on his face when he beat us, with pictures - that day- to prove that he inflicted more wounds on us. We were just defending ourselves. He put his hands on us first. Anyways, that starts my worries cos im like. Im 20, but idk what to do. How do i find money to bail my mom out? How do i even do that in the first place? But i managed.

Anywho skip forward, jackass is no longer in my life, tho i have to deal with him through my brother from time to time. Parents officially divorced Feb 2018. I've lived with my mom, she bought a cafeteria for a little bit so I worked there. Things were really hard because my mom had a lot of pent up anger that she would take out on me. My brother moved out because he went to university so he didnt really have to deal with much. Im also the older child, so bam. Anyways, we fought a lot. A LOT LOT. Like apeshit crazylot. I took a lot of beatings. It was like the weekend before Christmas of 2017 where a took a huge beating and ran away from my problems by going to my now-ex's house. He offered me to move in with him and his family, so I did. I had the choice of going back to my moms lifestyle and attempt to make up, or trying to live a different life. I lived with him from like Christmas to March 2018. We started having a lot of problems because he regret inviting me, he wasnt ready to give up his personal space and I was done babysitting someone who was older than me. Doing his laundry, doing his dishes, cleaning his room. I was done with being bored, never going out, being ignored while he did the same thing my dad did. Sit on his phone and not speak a word. Yeah, there were good times too, but they seem so fleeting when it seeps in with your own personal trauma of being ignored. Btw- when i moved to his place, my brother moved back home to fill the gap, but my brother is better with dealing with my mom and she doesnt blow up at him.

After I moved back, it was better. Yeah, shit went down sometimes but i guess overall it was better? My mom cried a lot. I would hear her talk on the phone with her family members in Korea and cry about how she was tired of everything and didn't want to do it anymore. I know exactly how that feels. Well, in the later months of 2018, we got along better and havent really had those blowups. I tried my best to stay home more instead of going out at night because she hated it. I tried to be nicer to her and more compromising. She's in Korea rn and things suck. During the whole parents thing, it sucks to feel like your parents are passing you to each other likea toy they dont want. It sucks to not really feel familial love growing up, where mom is just doing things because shes supposed to and dad just flat out pretends you dont exist. It sucks that it takes two years of partying, drugs and cons to find out

Submitted October 31, 2018 at 10:33AM by xfirelily via reddit https://ift.tt/2CRsVBn

[awkwardpiplup]

1-100 of the cute questions

  Its 3am, why not

1:  when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? more cereal

2:  do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? YES

3:  what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? post it notes

4:  how do you take your coffee/tea? my coffee has one sugar and a fUCK TON of french vanilla creamer

5:  are you self-conscious of your smile? yea

6:  do you keep plants? no, I’d like to but they’d probs die

7:  do you name your plants? I would

8:  what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? drawing

9:  do you like singing/humming to yourself? yea

10:  do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? stomach

11:  what’s an inner joke you have with your friends? target?

12:  what’s your favorite planet? Saturn

13:  what’s something that made you smile today? The Get Down

14:  if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? its messy because we both refuse to clean until I eventually give in, dog hair everywhere

15:  go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! Space is always quiet because there is no atmosphere for sound waves to travel through

16:  what’s your favorite pasta dish? chicken fettuccine alfredo

17:  what color do you really want to dye your hair? dont wanna dye my hair

18:  tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. i cant remember any

19:  do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? i have a dream journal, now my dreams get more vivid and strange

20:  what’s your favorite eye color? green

21:  talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. I have a red bag i take everywhere

22:  are you a morning person? yea

23:  what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? nothing

24:  is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? no, trust issues to the mAX

25:  what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into? a school

26:  what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit?

27:  what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor? fruit

28:  sunrise or sunset? sunrise

29:  what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? one of my friends always invites me when they all go out even though she knows i’ll probs say no

30:  think of it: have you ever been  truly scared? yes

31:  what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. I loVE socks!! colorful socks and prints im LOVE SOCKS

32:  tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. we were outside on the patio and laughing but i cant remember why

33:  what’s your fave pastry? cream puffs

34:  tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? its a stuffed zebra named Stripes, i still have him

35:  do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? YES

36:  which band’s sound would fit your mood right now? mindless self indulgence

37:  do you like keeping your room messy or clean? clean but its always messy

38:  tell us about your pet peeves! I hate when people touch me when I tell them not to and when people yell at me

39:  what color do you wear the most? black

40:  think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you? i have a choker with a heart in the middle that my girlfriend gave me and I love it

41:  what’s the last book you remember really, really loving? im reading the ranger’s apprentice again and its beAUTIFUL

42:  do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! dont have one

43:  who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? my great grandpa

44:  when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? um never?

45:  do you trust your instincts a lot? no

46:  tell us the worst pun you can think of. im a frayed knot

47:  what food do you think should be banned from the universe? corn

48:  what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? the dark, im still scared of it

49:  do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? i like buying CDs, the last one i bought was Departure by Journey

50:  what’s an odd thing you collect? i dont collect anything

51:  think of a person. what song do you associate with them? Natural High by Bloodstone makes me think of my dad 

52:  what are your favorite memes of the year so far? what in tarnation

53:  have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? ive seen all of these but pulp fiction, and i loVE THEM

54:  who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? im not sure

55:  what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point? idk

56:  what are some things you find endearing in people? when people look at you so you know you’re being listened to when you feel like nobody is

57:  go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? i feel tired, and yes i sang along

58:  who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? gerritt is the wine mom and vivica is the vodka aunt

59:  what’s your favorite myth? the one about persephone

60:  do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? i like poetry but i dont have favorites

61:  what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received? im not sure

62:  do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? no

63:  are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? leave them be

64:  what color is the sky where you are right now? black

65:  is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with? yes

66:  what would your ideal flower crown look like? made entirely out of babys breath

67:  how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? sleepy and calm

68:  what’s winter like where you live? rainy

69:  what are your favorite board games? candyland

70:  have you ever used a ouija board? no

71:  what’s your favorite kind of tea? all berry teas are gOOD

72:  are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it? i need to note everything down, but i forget to

73:  what are some of your worst habits? picking my skin, biting my nails, tearing the skin on my lips

74:  describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. always excited to see me. makes sure im ok. asks about how im doing. encourages me to continue painting. listens to me when i need to talk

75:  tell us about your pets! i have a fish, he is big and beautiful

76:  is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t? sleeping

77:  pink or yellow lemonade? pink

78:  are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? neutralclub

79:  what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? when my girlfriend sends me cute messages when im asleep or randomly during the day

80:  what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? beigeish white,  i did not pick the color

81:  describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. im not sure what this means, they are big eyes

82:  are/were you good in school? im trying

83:  what’s some of your favorite album art? Graduation by Kanye West and Tighter by Mindless Self Indulgence

84:  are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? Im not sure what i want but i want a tattoo on my thigh

85:  do you read comics? what are your faves? yES! i really like Gotham Academy rn

86:  do you like concept albums? which ones? im not sure what that is

87:  what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? loRD OF THE RINGS TRILOGY

88:  are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? not really

89:  are you close to your parents? my mom

90:  talk about your one of you favorite cities. San Francisco is pretty and I always want to be there

91:  where do you plan on traveling this year? No where yet

92:  are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? dROWN THE PASTA

93:  what’s the hairstyle you wear the most? The way it looks when i wake up

94:  who was the last person you know to have a birthday? my friend

95:  what are your plans for this weekend? Im not sure yet

96:  do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? procrastinate them

97:  myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? INFP, gemini, hufflepuff

98:  when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? the day you catch me hiking is the day i die

99:  list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. Don’t Recall by KARD, Such Small Hands and Nobody Not Even The Rain by La Dispute, Always by Rap Monster and Lullabies by All Time Low

100:  if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? 5 years to future to bring me closer to death