#dont be cute and realistic and write with the 'ums' 'uh' stutters and pauses in dialogue unless it is unherantly essential to a character

[achilleabee]

heres your reminder for writers, write people realistically stuttering. often, stuttering doesnt look like "h-h-h-hi-i, w-w-wh-at's-s y-yo-ur n-name?".

1, this is hard to read, and unnecessary. people dont stutter like this all the time and every time they speak!

2, i see a lot of writers treat stuttering like a cute trait and added to a character to baby or patronize them. dont do this! its not very nice to romanticize real disorders that affect people on the daily!

how you can write stuttering: (ofc a disclaimer that im not speaking for every person ever with a speech impediment or an anxiety disorder that leads to stuttering, but ive talked with a few like me and they agree, and im sure some people will appreciate this)

1, have them repeat/restart sentences or full words. often its less getting stuck on a single letter or syllable in a word, but getting stuck on a word, or a combination of words. writing "hi, can i- whats your- hi, whats your name?" is easier to read, and more common! or, on longer and more difficult words or word combos to pronounce, stuttering is often, and usually its handled by restarting the word until we get it right

2, add filler sounds! things like uh, um, oh, and ah are commonly put in between words or before a pause in a sentence. example: "hi, uh- whats your name?"

3, dont make it their entire personality, but give it more effects on them! speaking from experience, if i get stuck pronouncing a word or getting through a sentence, ill get frustrated with myself and sometimes just give up saying it. also, depending on what the cause of the stutter is, more anxiety induces more stuttering. but when stress-free, we can usually get through sentences just fine for the most part! i also grew up with mine, even tried speech therapy for it (which in my case didnt help), and ive found since ive grown its gotten a bit better over time!

3, yes, sometimes stuttering can look like stumbling on the first syllable, but not for every single word! dont overdo it please

another thing is planning sentences before you say them. i often repeat the same sentence over and over in my head before saying it to try and get it right!

thanks for reading, and please try and research before you write traits

[botwstoriesandsuch]

Any tips on how to write Revali? I have a hard time writing his dialogue and making it sound like him without seeming too ooc. Any pointers would really help! -k

I certainly struggle with dialogue myself, but I will try to tell you what I know!

TL;DR: Revali is a character that I would describe as blunt, but not straightforward. He speaks in a way where he gets to the point, stating his opinion, but is said in a manner that has several uses. His dialogue is multi-purposeful, serving to both tell his opinion while at the same time undermining someone else, highlighting his talents, or otherwise. Use “complex” words and make use of subtext, subtly, and even sarcasm when writing for him, but don’t do it too the point where he sounds like a reincarnated Marie Antoinette, as his dialogue should only be “complex” enough for him to boast of his intelligence, he’s not a fancy noble.

For example, if we analyze this line:

“With proper utilization of my superior skills, I see no reason why we couldn’t easily dispense with Ganon. Now then, my ability to explore the firmament is certainly of note...but let’s not—pardon me for being so blunt—let’s not forget the fact that I am the most skilled archer of all the Rito.” (Revali, Revali’s Flap Cutscene)

We can see that this piece of dialogue is filled with character, which you can tell because message of the dialogue isn’t the only focus. In fact, if you were to break this down, and I rewrite this for the inherent message alone...

“We can defeat Ganon with my great skills. While my ability to fly is important, also we shouldn’t forget—sorry for being blunt—we shouldn’t forget that I am the best Rito archer.”

Both of those pieces of dialogue tell the same message, but it is the way that the first one is crafted with diction, connotation, and subtext that make it more “Revali,” but really, you can use the things I’m about to say for any character.

Diction is the choice of wording. Obviously there are millions of words that can all tell similar things, but it’s your choice as the author to understand the power of certain words. Are you going to say use or utilization? Are you going to use sky or firmament? Scrap or dispense? Sorry or pardon me? Essentially, what I’m saying is that the diction for writing for Revali should reflect his desire to appear superior to others, and his efforts to try and prove that to others (and himself) can usually be reflected through his more complex word choices. He would revel at the notion that he might have to talk down to a certain confused knight if he asked what the word “firmament” meant.

Connotation is the feeling or associating ideas that come with a word. This typically goes hand-and-hand with diction, but they are two separate things. Connotation typically deals with the deeper meaning of a word, further than its textbook definition. Think of the word unique vs the word peculiar. Both essentially mean the same thing, but you usually associate peculiar with negative or strange things, while unique is associated with positive or special things. This is the positive and negative connotation that you can use to give character. Think of stingy vs saving, vintage vs old. It’s not just limited to positive and negative either. When writing for Revali I try to use words that have a connotation that expresses wit. Use superior vs better. Intelligent vs smart. Asinine vs stupid. Of course vs sure or yes. Your choice of words (diction) should not only depends on the sentence structure, rhythm, or alliteration, but also on the connotation.

Finally, subtext is the underlying message of dialogue that is not outright said by a character. Easiest example, sarcasm. You say one thing but mean another. “Ah yes, let’s explore the not-at-all creepy and disturbing catacombs that are sealed deep beneath the castle for mysterious and unknown reasons. I’m sure it will be fine, and the smell of corpses only adds to the growing desire I’m getting to die today. Hurrah!” Revali is the type to use sarcasm, do I even need to explain that? However! Sometimes, that’s the extent that people will go into for subtext, when you should really be using it for nearly every scene you will ever write. Subtext is the bread and butter of interesting scenes, of conflict and tension.

Looking back at the example, Revali says “pardon me for being so blunt.” This line is fantastic not just because of the use of diction, but also because it plays into the dynamic between Revali and Link. Revali think’s Link is unworthy of being the hero, he doesn’t respect him and it’s a blow to his ego that someone seemingly so much worse than him is of higher rank. Revali has no respect for Link. That’s the basic dynamic, and that’s what plays into the subtext. If you read “pardon me for being so blunt” just off the fly, or from some other character, you wouldn’t get the full picture. You might think it’s a fancy butler, the lack of tone might set you off into thinking someone is actually apologetic for something.

But that’s not the case here, the writer for this weaponized the reader’s knowledge of Revali and Link’s dynamic to establish his character. Revali’s not sorry for shit! Have you seen this asshole? I love him. This line was completely unnecessary, but it’s addition to the dialogue not only clued in readers/players to the dynamic between the two, but further enhances character.

Use subtext, let the rule and scenarios you create play into interesting dialogue. Do not, for the love of me, do not just let you character’s outright say what they are doing, which is unfortunately something that Breath of the Wild does a bit too often. Sarcasm, obviously, is one of the more popular forms, but don’t just stick with that. Use the dynamics between characters to create banter, use tension to mask insecurity. Don’t let your character just say “I’m mad at you. I wish you would do this” but please weave that “message” between interesting subtext and I promise your dialogue will be 400% better. Are they going to say “I’m mad.” or are you going to make them talk about something slightly out of their character traits to indicate that something is wrong. Are you going to let a character explain “I wish you would...” or, are you going to let them go off on a witty tangent, where they complain about the things that another character does. Subtext is so much more efficient too! Look at this bit of final screenplay for American Beauty.

Jane: Mom, do we always have to listen to this elevator music?

Now, in the original screenplay, was

Jane: I want us to change the music that we listen to at dinner all the time

The second one sucks, and the reason is subtext. The only information we are being given in the original screenplay is that Jane wants to change the music that they listen to at dinner with their family. In the final screenplay, the dialogue tells us

Jane hates this kind of music

Jane wants to change the music they listen to

The mother has the power in this dynamic

The music is a typical thing this family goes through

Not only that, but the way in which this was said was far more interesting. Elevator music is an insult to her mothers choice of music. In the movie, even the tone in which is actress said this line implies that she was not asking politely, but in a tone that expresses her distaste for the situation.

I could go so far into subtext and dialogue but really you should just watch these videos which will explain it infinitly better than I could:

How To Write Great Dialogue [The Closer Look]

American Beauty (Part 1) — The Art of Character [Lessons From The Screenplay]

On Writing: The First Chapter [hello future me]

Inglorious Bastards — The Element of Suspense [Lessons From the Screenplay and this movie is one of my favs and the first scene is just a masterclass of subtext *chef’s kiss* I love it and also they punch Nazi’s and who doesn’t love a good Nazi punching watch the movie before watching anything else please it’s great unless you’re like thirteen in which case why are you on tumblr]

Final note before I end off yet another fucking essay, wow I write more about writing than actually writing my fics I have a problem, but anyhow, do not think of your characters as individuals. Don’t think, “Oh they can’t say this because that might be out of character,” because while that might be true to an extent, it is ultimately you that determines the circumstances. You are the one crafting the character, don’t rely on the canon always. This character didn’t exist beforehand, there’s no textbook for you to double-check as see “Yep! Right as rain they’re allowed to say that!” No, it’s your job as the writer to justify the words that come out of their mouth by establishing their character, and creating fitting scenarios that fit towards your theme or overarching story. This goes not just for dialogue, but for writing any dynamics, romances, or world building. You could make me believe that Bolson got together with Bularia if you as the writer did a good enough job crafting compelling dialogue, and more importantly character.

Also, don’t write “realistic” dialogue, write believable dialogue

Rant done, pardon me for being so blunt. :P