#doom massmouthmas

[m39]

Doom WADs’ Roulette (2004): Massmouthmas

We meet again Mistah Bond- I-I mean MassMouth.

What? No! I’m not a Russian, you alien-looking freak! I’m twat from Poland thank you very much!

Oh, of course! Just because I’m dressed up in red it automatically means I’m some kind of Commie from the sixties to you, EH?!

No! That friend of yours I killed was an accident! My railgun tends to fire on itself!

Yes! I washed my right hand’s mouth with soap for his filthy language! Who do think I am?! Dumbass who’s gonna tolerate this crap?!

...

You know what? Termintate this joke. Let’s just get to the review.

S3: Massmouthmas

Main author(s): Mike Watson (Cyb)

Release date: Christmas Day, 2004 (database upload)

Version played: ???

Required port compatibility: ZDoom

Levels: 3 (hub style)

It’s Christmas Eve, people! So why not tickle our inner Kris Kringle and play some Christmas WAD. Today we are going to look at the expansion pack for MassMouth 2, called... Massmouthmas.

...

HILARIOUS AND ORIGINAL TITLE!!! >8]

Now, folks, before I’ll get into this WAD, I’d like to recommend you to read my review of the MassMouth 2 WAD before checking it out. Here is a link to it:  ==>

Come back when you are done with that one.

...

Are you done?

Good. Now let’s take a look at MassMouth’s Christmas Special.

The story takes place before the events of MassMouth 2. Our titular hero is spending his time on vacation when suddenly he gets a call from his boss, The Worm. He says that there is a problem with one of his buddies (implied to be Santa himself), in that the latter’s factory is shut down and it needs to be turned back online. And since MassMouth is nearby, he’s given this task. So now MassMouth must restore power to the factory, while also uncovering some mysteries about the nearby region in between.

This expansion looks rather good (providing that the walls don’t glitch out). According to Cyb himself, this WAD took only FOUR DAYS of development. And you know what? It’s kind of impressive for such a short development cycle. I can feel some Christmas spirit while playing it, particularly at the end.

Music was also rather enjoyable to listen to. Even though I felt it was kind of too loud for 65% of the volume, I don’t really have anything to complain about this subject. My favorite track is Snow and thunder from the Factory section. It is also really funny when fighting the snowmen in the waste dumping area, you will be hearing MIDIfied Frosty the Snowman playing in the background. It made the battle incredibly hilarious.

Do not expect the typical Doom gameplay from Massmouthmas. This expansion feels more akin to Half-Life, with a greater focus on solving puzzles and exploring. It’s far from being cryptic thankfully. You won’t spend a few hours looking for that one switch while going from one end of a map to another.

This WAD is hub-based, split into three areas:

Snowy Hills,

Factory,

and Ice Caves.

There isn’t really a problem moving between them. Maybe asides from the elevator to Ice Caves being kind of slow to bring down and bring up again.

If you end up having some trouble playing this WAD, let me give some advice:

First off, you need to power up the main generator with eight fuel crystals. To grab these crystals you need to have a shovel which you will grab near the generator. This task is kind of tedious since you can only carry two of these crystals at once, so you end up forced to go back and forward between Snow Hills and Ice Caves.

Secondly, after turning on the second boiler in Snowy Hills (the one behind the yellow bars) you must go to the cave near MassMouth’s hut. There will be now a melted water pool that will lead you to the mini-boss fight and The Eye, which will let you grab the red key.

Lastly, after turning the Factory back online, you will get a message from Worm to meet his colleague near the caves. Just exit Ice Caves from the north and go by a narrow passage after getting outside.

I’m sure you will do great with the rest of the WAD without any guide.

In Factory, there are also computers with logs when you press the use key on them. I strongly recommend checking them out since not only do they kind of expand the lore of Massmouthmas, but at least two of these will also give you hints on finishing this expansion.

Massmouthmas isn’t really challenging at all. For starters, there are no hitscanners, and even if the new enemies tend to hit like a truck unless you count the final encounter, nothing will touch you if you are good at dodging projectiles.

And speaking of the new enemies, there are three of these:

Ice Guys are just Wendigoes from Hexen, as in they shoot ice shards at you that can bounce off the walls.

Evil Snowmen don’t really need a description. They actually start out as props that come to life after draining out the factory wastes. They are tanky but they have a large wind-up before they throw a snowball at you.

Finally, there is a final boss of this expansion: Evil Robot. A flying tin can that either shoots a barrage of energy bolts or a BFG blast at you. You can only hurt it just as it’s about to fire. If you damage it enough, it will shoot only one bolt at you. Probably the only enemy in the WAD that will give you some trouble. Thankfully, you get a Railgun to fight it. Six to seven shoots and it’s destroyed.

While Massmouthmas doesn’t have that many bugs and can be finished, there are moments (especially in the Factory section) where walls are invisible, so you end up not only looking at what’s behind the wall but also the void on the parts of the floor/ceiling that are covered by it. I have no idea if this is because of Cyb’s sloppy work (remember, he did this WAD in just four days) or due to my version GZDoom going apeshit, but either way, it’s disturbing. There is also a moment where the part of the production line that turns wooden planks into toys have graphical problems.

Other than that, the text file mentions some misalignments in the Ice Caves section (which I didn’t notice) and broken scripts if you try really hard to do that.

And that’s all for Massmouthmas. A rather good expansion for MassMouth 2 (even though I have to put both WAD files in the same file as GZDoom) which not only is filled with Christmas spirit but is also a rather nice sendoff to the titular alien. And it’s miles better than H2H-Xmas, even when it forces you to stay in one place to force to listen to some dialogue (because ZDoom).

That’s all for the Runner-ups from Cacowards 2004. But remember, there is still an Honorable Mention to talk about.

See you next time, folks, as we will be taking a look at the sequel to Icarus: Alien Vanguard.

MERRY KRIMA!!!!11!!1!

[m39]

Doom WADs’ Roulette: Revenant Awards 2004

Look, guys! I’m finally making an award ceremony on that thing I ripped off! :]

PASSION OF DOOMGUY – REVENANT AWARDS 2004 EDITION

Okay, but seriously now. 2004 looks like another year dominated by ZDoom. Like, there is barely any Vanilla WADs or those that require other source port than ZDoom. Thankfully, it seems to me that people were moving out from the Half-Life syndrome of trying to make their WADs more than what they actually are; focusing more on fun rather than a spectacle.

In this year’s case we will be having competition in three categories while the other two will have default winners.

Without any further to do, let’s take a look at the first category.

ONE MAN ARMY – BEST ONE-MAP WAD OF THE YEAR

Five maps. All for ZDoom. And it was kind of hard to choose one because all of these were at least good. Deus Vult is a really impressive marathon of a map, although I feel it might get too far in some places. Decade is another banger created by Russell Pearson. Tremor gives a surprisingly high amount of quality for an underdog. And I’m surprised how the first ZDoom Community Map Project didn’t end up as a mess but as a really good map.

All of these maps are worth checking out, but none of these came close to the incredibility of Grove. Yes, I might be biased, but this map is something on a whole other level. And it deserves to get the award. Although, honestly, Decade deserves to be called a runner-up.

FULL DECK OF DIAMONDS – BEST 30 TO 32 MAPS LONG MEGAWAD OF THE YEAR

Oh boy... This is going to be rough. Not really in terms of choosing the winner but due to the quality of all three MegaWADs being such mixed-bags.

Starting with Hell Revealed II gaining the award in the vanilla section by default. In many places, it might be an improvement over its predecessor, but it also makes regression in around the same amount of places, from some of the maps being uglier than the stuff released in 1994 to other maps thinking that shoving as many monsters as possible means great challenge. Or even sometimes both cases.

And as for Hellcore and Community Chest 2, these aren’t as polarizing as the one above, but they still are mixed-bags. Hellcore is less of a severe case but it feels unfinished, released because the authors were sick of this MegaWAD, having maps created up to 1995. CC2 meanwhile, was actually finished despite its false start, but the quality of some of the maps will make you question how these maps were even created in 2004 and/or weren’t a filler maps to actually release this compilation.

But ultimately, if not for Mucus Flow, Community Chest 2 wouldn’t get the award in the source port section. This map is possibly the biggest reason to get interested in this WAD.

OFF THE WALL – BEST PARTIAL/TOTAL CONVERSION OF THE YEAR

That was tough to choose the winner because there are two WADs in this category that are absolute bangers to play. But I’ll get to them in a moment.

We have RTC-3057 and Daedalus: Alien Defense (moved from the previous category because Doomwiki depicts it as a partial conversion). These two come to pick your poison type of choice: Either the one that was never finished or the one that mocks you for not knowing where to go with more enemies.

We have Massmouthmas, a Christmas expansion to MassMouth 2, and it was alright. There wasn’t anything obnoxious in this WAD.

And finally, we have Action Doom and Chosen. Two incredible WADs, where the former is an incredible mix of Classic Doom and Contra, while the latter is a really fun game on its own set in Ancient Egypt.

These two WADs could’ve got the award for the best partial/total conversion, but since I have to choose only one, I’m giving it to Chosen, having a slight edge over the other WAD due to its setting. Action Doom is still a runner-up.

OTHER AWARDS

And now for the rest of the WADs that won by default. Starting with the Pug-of-Pink award for the best 2 to 7 maps long WAD of the year going to Doomworld Forums 3. This WAD is something that I can only recommend to people who were into whatever happened back then in Doomworld forums. I only got one joke, maybe two.

And the Golden Spider award for the best episode replacement WAD of the year goes to Phobos Revisited. It takes the original maps from the first episode and makes something similar yet drastically different. Worth checking out as an anniversary WAD.

CONCLUSION

And that’s all I have for the Revenant Awards 2004 Edition. Despite having a stinker of a WAD that is Daedalus (and maybe HRII for some), I think it was a rather good year for Doom WADs. I’m mostly happy with what Cacowards 2004 had to offer (not counting the multiplayer WAD and the worst WAD of course). Can’t wait for what 2005 has to offer. I know Scythe 2 will probably be a banger to play.

Unfortunately, there is one filth that I have to deal with before taking care of the 2005 roster. Remember how I said in the past that I’ll eventually review properly the 007 WAD from 2002? I mentioned that after dealing with the 2004 roster, I’ll go back to this abomination and take pictures of the secrets and keys for the eventual review. And I’ll keep that promise after taking a week-long break.

Pray for me that I’ll not lose all of my marbles playing this shit again.

Bye.