#double-date type shooting with everyone and their LIs too because everyone has a different one xD it's gonna be great

[elvenbeard]

If I could make a living with taking silly little screenshots of silly little virtual people I'd do it all day.

Honestly AMM is such a godsend xD I've played on a GTA RP server for a long while, my character a photographer, and that was already so much fun, even with much more limited poses and having to direct the other players around to do this or that xD No real ability to zoom or change FoV, so much clipping to fix in post, but still a blast.

This now is like heaven, so many possibilities, I feel like I didn't even scratch the surface yet, also when it comes to custom expressions or making alternate appearances aaahhh...

[moral-turpitudes]

College Headcanons: Modern!Peaky Blinders Edition

Part 1 | Part 2

A/N: This came to me in a dream. Enjoy. 

Thomas Shelby:

Double Major: Political Science and Business Management (bc he likes to work himself to death) Minor: Military Sciences/ROTC

Likes debating and trying to outsmart the professor.

Often seen on campus with bloody knuckles from rocking someone’s jaw.

Would 100% punch a motherfucker for being mean to someone he cares about.

Doesn’t need to be in a fraternity to be known around campus, just don’t mess with him and you’ll be fine.

All the girls whisper as he walks by but he don’t give a fuck cuz he has to go to his lectures.

He’s on time for every class and pulls out his pocket watch if the professor is more than 5 minutes late. If the professor can’t bother showing up then he dips out.

Almost got suspended for one too many fist fights.

Has a “thing” for the barista at the campus Starbucks. He learned after frequent visits, that her name was Grace and that she liked black coffee just like him.

Mysterious and moody af. No one knows if they’ve ever seen him smile, except when chatting up Grace.

Tries his best to study, but ends up getting dragged into his siblings shenanigans or into his head about the family business.

Keeps to himself for the most part, except for having a few close friends.

Hates technology so he uses a typewriter and prefers receiving letters/mail over emails.

Can’t figure out how to use Grace the baristas phone when typing in his number and tells her to write it down instead.

Often tells her to meet him after her shift. 😏

Professors hate him because of his reliance on paper. Totes not eco-friendly but he doesn’t care. Tommy always gets his way.

Grace always gives him a cookie for free cuz she knows he forgets to eat.

Always seen smoking or sneaking drinks of whiskey in a flask, even at 7am lectures.

Binge drinks on weekends with his bros, and drunk calls barista Grace when he has maybe 3 working brain cells left for the night. On other weekends when he’s coherent, he meets with Polly and tries to discuss business plans since their dad dipped out like a bitch.

To make matters worse, after dating for a while, Grace just leaves him. He thinks his aunt Polly may have been too hard on her, but he didn’t know until later that she lied when she said she didn’t know about the business. But barista bitch knew everything, and was gonna expose them to her higher-ups in the criminal justice department before long.

Arthur Shelby:

Major: Agriculture Minor: Military Science/ROTC

Graduated just barely.

Ended up in some trouble with his peeps in the military science department, probs for cussing someone out.

Angry, loud, and emotional af.

Loved drinking with John and his frat boy friends.

No one messed with him if they valued their life.

Started one too many fights and got suspended for reals. Almost beat a man to death but we don’t talk about that.

He gets stressed really easily so in his free time he draws horses.

When he gets real mad he takes it to the campus boxing ring and punches to his hearts content.

On his way back to his dorm one night he saw a girl who was in his agriculture class. She was cute and also in a “Christian” ministry group on campus. He decided to chat her up when she was preaching, just to see what it was about.

They later dated but then she cheated around with a fellow churchy man and just went off the rails. When he found out it wasn’t pretty.

Her friends and pastor most likely shamed her cuz she be ✨sinning✨. Therefore not helping her mental state.

Her name was Linda. Never trust a Linda.

Everyone tried to console Arthur but only boxing and drinking at Johns frat house did the trick.

Tommy often had to run to his dorm in the middle of the night to talk him out his mental breakdowns. College is hard.

In the end, he was glad he did agriculture even if his crazy ex would constantly stare at him during lectures, probably plotting his demise.

Some days he’d take out his frustrations by chopping wood and helping out on the farm where he worked and studied most days.

But you bet your ass fuckin’ Linda showed up to his dorm one time though with a gun and tried to shoot him, but she didn’t know his brothers and aunt were there too. Polly may have shot her in the arm tho. But when the campus PD showed up shit really went down.

We don’t know where Linda is now, but that’s probs for the best.

John Shelby:

Major: Music (idk I felt like he’s a musical boi) Minor: Military Science/ROTC

He’s a frat boy through and through. He drops it low on the dance floor and is known to dive onto beer pong tables.

Constantly going to parties and hooking up with sorority girls, that is until he meets a girl named Esme who’d been dragged to the party by her friends.

Suddenly he ain’t no hoe no more, he’s head over boots in love with her and she loves him too.

They be sneaking around in various buildings, often having to make a run for it to escape security.

He’d play her songs after hard training days with his military buds cuz it helps him calm down.

He’s not as violent as his older brothers, but he’ll fuck a person up if needed.

His fraternity is the second most important thing to him besides his girl. He loves the energy of the fraternity, the partying, and acting a whole fool with his friends, but Esme has him whipped.

His studies are struggling though cuz he loves to get turnt. He hates the studying aspect of college.

Always getting his brothers into trouble.

Snorts coke off Esme’s tits on occasion at the frat parties. It’s a wild time.

Has the mouth of a sailor but a heart of gold.

Talks of kids with Esme after dating for a year. Can’t afford a ring yet tho, but their bud Jeremiah marries them anyway on a whim.

After Arthur and the Grace fiasco ensues, he drops out of college because Esme falls pregnant. In the end, she ends up getting the chickens and wild cottage!core house she’d always wanted. They both decide to raise their kids there, living their best lives until Tommy drags them into more family matters later on.

Ada Shelby:

Major: English Minor: Gender & Women’s Studies

Always seen in the most stylish clothes.

She’s quiet most times but can be very knowledgeable on various subjects.

She’s constantly going off on her older brothers and trying to smack some sense into them.

Feels like something is off with the barista Tommy’s been seeing, but it’s not her problem.

Can 100% find her chilling in the back of Starbucks reading old novels or writing literature reviews.

When she’s not there, she’s holed up in the library where she works part time, studying and practicing for debates.

10/10 would fuck in the library cuz she knows all the best secret places to go to. 😏

Organizes meetings with different campus associations and demands equality for students.

Spends her free time surfing the net for clothes or keeping an eye out for a potential new bae.

Is probably the best at studying. She earns the best grades let’s be honest.

Will not hesitate to call a bitch out. She may not throw hands but she’ll throw words that can cut you like a knife.

Works for the campus paper, spilling all the tea on campus life. Her brothers often reluctantly agree to be her mock interview subjects for a range of assignments.

She breaks necks when walking around campus, everyone moves out of their way for her.

She’s a bad bitch.

Finn Shelby:

Major: Photography Minor: English

He hates how violent his brothers are but would 10/10 back them up if needed.

Often asks Ada for advice on studying and girls.

Doesn’t like the frat boy scene like John, but goes to the parties anyways with his best friends Isiah and Bonnie.

He’s a freshman and you can tell. He still has a glimmer of life in his eyes and a pep in his step as he walks around campus.

When he’s not taking pictures for class, he’s taking pictures of his girlfriend.

She’s his muse even when doing the simplest of things like sitting in a chair or reading one of his English books.

Each week he’d surprise her with a picture he took when she wasn’t looking, telling her how beautiful she is.

He may not look strong, but after many nights at the boxing ring with Arthur, he knew how to throw a punch.

He almost flunked his studies a couple times, getting too caught up in partying or being with his girl, but Ada and his Aunt Polly set him straight.

Voted by his family as most likely to not get arrested or suspended from college.

He’d have deep conversations with his friends, often confusing them because it was just that deep.

In his spare time he’d go boxing with Arthur or would try to help Tommy with his essays, but Tommy would get frustrated and tell him to fuck off within the first 10 minutes.

Polly Gray:

Profession: Business Management Professor Side Job: Managing the blinder business with Tommy

When she’s not teaching class, she’s managing the blinder business that was left to her and Tommy to tackle. This also means covering up any suspicions that arise on campus. She has her hands full.

She’s Tommy’s only shred of common sense some days when he gets too stressed out from his 10,000 majors and minors, or wants to plan to overthrow the university.

Will not hesitate to slap someone, preferably her unruly nephews.

Anyone can lie to her but the truth always falls through the cracks, and when she finds out, you’d pray you faced the devil instead.

In her spare time she reads tea leaves and prays for the corrupt souls of her son and his cousins. She really just begs to god that they can come together for once to get the business in line, but even that may be asking too much.

Knows a snake when she sees one. *cough* *cough* Grace the barista.

She’s the first one to tell someone I told ya so, especially her students when they flunk her tests because they decided to get drunk the night before.

When she’s not yelling at her nephews or grading papers, she can be seen at the local bar chatting up coworkers and old flames, hoping to find “the one” eventually. She ends up having a “thing” for the quirky Philosophy professor though. He’s kind of shady cuz she finds out he’s in a similar business on the side, but it only makes her like him more. She craves the danger.

They later end up in a whirlwind romance similar to John and Esme, and everyone loves that for them.

She can also be seen with her head in her hands when trying to persuade Tommy to use technology.

“What is copy and paste Pol? Can’t I just write it down? What’s up with all these gadgets aye?”

“If you want your hand to fall off and to make me lose my mind, then yes, write it down. Grading is bloody hard enough as it is, let alone grading your papers. You’re just like your father ya know, always doing things the hard way.”

Tells Gina off when she gets the chance just like she did Grace. She didn’t shoot her like Linda though, she just hurt some feelings.

May have aided in Grace’s “sudden” departure…maybe…just a little bit.

Secretly ships Tommy with a woman named Lizzie who had been her assistant at her office. She knew she could trust her more, at least.

Despite her harshness, she’s just trying to keep her family from completely fucking up their lives.

Michael Gray:

Major: Accounting Minor: Business Management

Like Tommy, he doesn’t get the hype of fraternities so he just hangs out with his cousins or his small circle of friends, they aren’t saints though.

His mom, Polly is his business management professor. She always calls on him and gives him a hard time when he spaces out in class.

Is often seen around campus with a few friends or his girlfriend Gina who he met in business class. They’re sickening and it was like a whirlwind romance tbh.

He usually finds himself cleaning up his cousin’s messes when it comes to fighting, but if he has to throw some punches he will.

He’s not as impulsive when it comes to matters of business, but where matters of the heart are concerned that’s another story.

When the blinders and Polly were all at her house for dinner one night he announced he was going to marry Gina. Arthur and John laughed and Tommy smirked slightly, still butt-hurt after his Grace left him for little-to-no reason. Ada grinned and bared the news whilst Polly nearly smacked him on the head.

People didn’t dare mess with him, and that went for all his cousins as well.

He spent a majority of his days in class crunching numbers, and most his nights out with the boys getting drunk or fuckin’ with Gina.

Because his mom held him accountable, his grades rivaled Ada’s causing them to get into some friendly competition at times.

He’s cunning like Tommy though. He got into many a screaming match with the older blinder after trying to take over his position in the family business. It ended in some black eyes and Polly smacking both of them with her newspaper. He knew better than to mess with the devil himself.

Despite the tensions between the cousins at times, he’s always the one they go to when they can’t figure out their math homework, and he’d always have to meet one of them in the library at 3 am to smuggle in some cocaine and a drink to keep them studying.

[alias-b]

sins of my youth. 020

Billy Hargrove x OC! Evie Fenny~ Also posted to my AO3

Summary: It was common knowledge that Billy Hargrove hated Hawkins. Hated Cherry Lane. Even loathed the strange girl next door. Evie Fenny wasn’t too fond of the chaotic Cali transfer either. An awful high school tradition sparks a chain of events that changes everything, ultimately bringing two frayed souls together.

A/N: Hello everyone. Thanks for clicking in to read. Billy and Evie continue to explore their new relationship together. Max's fourteenth birthday party marks a change for the teens, reminding them that danger isn't too far off. TW: Neil being Neil. Mentions of abuse. Something close to an almost assault/abduction off screen near the end. Light mentions of Pica & fatphobia. Sexual themes

***My tag list is wide open, just shoot me a msg to join it! Chat with me about the chapter if you have the time! Enjoy! xoxo 

Chapter 20: Rose Tint My World

  “Hold still, I’ll poke your eye again.”

  ��“I can’t breathe, you’re killing me.” Came a sniffled whine.

   “Such a baby. You asked.”

   “I said I was curious after you put the gunk on my nails!”

   “That gunk was a great color on you. You whine just like your big brother.” Carol had Max’s face clamped in her grip as she applied mascara. “Don’t blink, you'll smear it.”

   “Evie, she’s killing me,” Max lamented aloud. “This is not worth it.” Evie just laughed, setting a bowl of pretzels aside. Carol flicked a mirror up to let Max see her handiwork. “Whoa...It’s not terrible.” She gruffed in a mumble, tilting her head to see each angle. "Kinda like Madonna."

   “I’ll take it.” Carol stole some M&Ms from another dish as they shared a spot on Heather’s fuzzy carpet. A movie rolled on in the corner TV.

   Max about howled when Heather came in from the bathroom, face covered in green.

   “Monster!”

   “It’s a face-mask!” Heather planted her hands on her hips, prompting more laughter. “You’ll be more into them once your body really changes.”

   “Girls are way scarier than boys.” Max poked at her blushed cheek which had Carol smacking her hand away. Evie was draped across the bottom of the bed in her robe and nightie, half-watching the TV. “Can you do a zombie make-up?”

   Carol gave a snort.

   “I can do anything. kid.”

   “Eves, you want another piece of pizza?” Heather crossed with the box.

   “I’m so full.” Evie shook her head.

   “You had like one piece.”

   “I ate a big lunch. And lots of pretzels.” Evie snatched the pretzel bowl again for good measure. Truthfully, her appetite had been up and down lately. Mostly down. What with the pangs in her stomach that always passed and… “You sound like my mother.”

   “She was...extra peppy at the salon today. My mom and I got our monthly trim.”

   “Probably some guy she’s seeing, it’ll pass and another will come. Men are like Kleenex to her. Soft, strong, and disposable.” Evie shrugged to pluck up a magazine.

   “Hey,” Max began as Carol fussed over her, “so I didn’t want to make a thing of it, but my mom keeps insisting. My birthday party is coming. She and Neil saved so I could have it just at the roller rink and...they said I could invite whoever I wanted. But, I can’t ask the guys to come. So I figured I’d ask El. She’s really cool. But, maybe if you guys wanted to come? You can bring boys and pretend you’re not even at my party if it’s not your thing. I just-”

   “Max, we’d love to come.” Heather piped up first. “Evie and I rule the rink too.”

   “I look very cute in skates,” Carol agreed with a twitching smirk. “I'm in. I’ll bring Tommy, he sucks and he’ll fall down a bunch. We'll pretend we ran into each other so your stepdad can get the stick out of his ass.”

   “Billy has to go too cause Neil says it’s a family event.” Max turned to Evie. “I think he’d be happier with you there.”

   “I think Billy and I both are fine being there for you. I had my fourteenth at the rink too. It’ll be fun.” Evie beamed, legs up to sway idly. “Plus we haven’t met the Chief’s kid. She’s home-schooled, right?”

   “Yeah, she might be joining us in school next year.” Max stayed still for Carol’s brush. “Depends. She was uh...adopted under weird circumstances. You’ll like her. I taught her how to do that felting thing because of you and she made this funny one of her dad.”

   “I’ll bet Hopper loved that.” Evie winked. 

   “He’s kind of a babe in like a scruffy, rugged way,” Carol remarked. "Strong mountain man type."

   “Ew. He’s so old.” Max reeled back to laugh.

   “I’m just saying! I like a man in uniform. He rocks the khaki.” 

   “The moms in town do eat him up.” Heather shrugged, joining Evie on the bed with a handful of candy. “We all have our strange crushes. I like high cheek-bones. Guys with a little Bowie. Evie? You got one?”

   “Gia Carangi even if she isn’t modeling any more, I love her face.” Evie was flicking pages without looking. Howls from the TV went ignored through the chatter.

   “I called that. Fenny being into ladies. Try Iman.” Carol winked which earned her a look as if she hadn’t planted a kiss on Evie in a fit of rage.

   “People say Billy’s pretty like a girl.” Max had added which got the other girls giggling. 

   “I like this one, we’re so keeping her.” Carol got up to root for a bag of chips, popping them open. “Like the zombie face better?”

   “I still look too pretty.” Max appeared more goth than zombie.

   “You are pretty. Deal with it. We redheads stick together.” Carol stole Evie’s magazine. “Let us know when the party is, we’ll be there.”

   Max looked at the three older girls squished together on Heather’s bed. Chattering and supporting. Happy to have her around.

   A bright smile touched her face for the first time since Neil Hargrove walked into her home. 

** ** ** 

   Most days, all it felt like was floating. Floating through her house. Through Hawkins. Up and down streets. Through school. A stunning illusion she pulled like wool over her dark eyes.

   A woman in rippling silks walking endless halls toward a great, cherry red door at the end, but the door gets farther away and she's thrilled to continue on even still. Feather wings glittering to unfold from her back because heaven's light is beyond the door. Crystalline eyes with their hold. Waiting for her. The sky awaits her with caressing clouds. Opulent gold sun rays and twinkling stars when the world lies down.

   Evie knew she was too big for her wings most days. Too heavy to leave the Earth.

   Knew in her beating heart of hearts that was the first thing people think when they see her. This magnificent soul with drive and neon and talent reduced to a single shrewd glance. And they don't think twice until she's something vaguely sexual. Something marketable you can package and process and sell to the last drop.

   Easier to stomach something uncomely if you can slide into it ruthlessly to rut. They always come like animals, wailing as a banshee would to get off better than they ever will in their small lives. They eat it up. Cover it in sweat and regret and blame.

   These things that hang as little weights on her heartstrings swinging back and forth. They make her not want to attempt extending those wings to fly. Fear of heads shaking in judgement. Fear of looking uglier. More foolish for even trying. Poor thing.

   All because of one glance that couldn't be bothered to see worth in another human life. Sometimes Evie wanted to be skinny not because of beauty, but because she'd get a privilege pass to exist in this world.

   They think she shouldn't dress the way she does. She's probably lazy and self loathing because of added pounds. She has no real aspirations or means to achieve them. Those eyes that watch her eat. That shift away before they decide on another seat because the one open next to her just isn't right. They glare because of the extra room she might take up. Even sharing a few cordial words with fat girls seemed to be a task.

   Evie always notices and does the polite thing pretending she doesn't. She knows what her body looks like, no need to point out the obvious.

   Strange, how these snap judgements, these eyes that don't look twice; can villainize a body utterly. A body. Flesh, bone, and muscle. We're all made in heaven's image. All destined for paths we seek to control. Superiority should have been an illusion. But no, too much or too little, your worth dips low. Fetishes and internalized hatred for things that were shaped and colored differently. Blame.

   But, some days, when the wind soars just right...just strong enough...Evie can spread and illuminate. See the births and deaths of a million stars. Drop the little weights to feel the winds between her fingers. In her curls. In her wings. Feel her feet leave the floor for just a few fleeting seconds.

   The fleeting seconds of soaring always seem so worth it against a world of unsightly aches. Against snap judgements she can toss back to live in a flower petal haze.

   Evie tried hard to live in those moments when they flashed into her. Spotlights. Butterflies delicately landing on her flesh to open and close their stained glass wings for kisses. Evie felt crushed utterly in the most decadent way.

   Billy's soft lips on her neck to get lost in the pulse. Deft fingers that would push up her clothing as he moved in her. Eyes that wanted to see her. All of her. The prayers he could whisper against heating skin.

   A lot could be said about him. But, Billy was always happy to see her and that alone was air spinning into gold. His eyes would light up. Lips twitching. She could hear the single beat that his heart skipped. Even if they didn't speak, they felt this awareness for each other in the vicinity. Truly magic.

   Those eyes. That love of a face. Always staring pointedly to read her up and down. Always plucking the weights from her heart by listening. Always unafraid to touch her. Evie hoped she returned that. She really did.

   Fleeting seconds began to linger between them. Seeping slow and saccharine as fresh pouring honey.

   Sneaking away on walks while he let her hold his hand. Flirtation against school lockers that ended in several 'just one more' kisses. Double dates to the movies with Tommy and Carol. Sitting separately to make out.

   Driving up near Lover’s Lake to kiss in a parked Camaro while the sun laid itself down to sleep. Fumbling playfully to undress and explore. Watching the construction of a coming mall with Slurpees from the gas station. Tongues and lips colored all artificial cherry and strawberry.

   Evie would stretch her wings completely. Let Billy admire them until the world was all satin rose-tinted. She could forget her urges and worries and insecurities. All together. This was fine.

   She was fine. More then fine.

   He so liked to admire her wings. Pleasure crushed in as she moaned. Let his fingers explore contours and notches untouched before. Billy would take those prayers on his lips and drape them over her body. Spell them between fleshy thighs. Pulling more fleeting seconds for himself too.

   They could roll around under sheets and not worry about anything else. Have conversations that always felt silly and wonderful and weighted because they both mattered to someone so ardently. That alone was an ocean both could sink into.

   Something beautiful to behold. The real vision behind the great red door. Your soul mattering.

   Evie was in a bubble with Billy Hargrove. A stupid, dopey look on her face when Mona settled dinner down one evening. Steam rising from a huge pot.

   “Going out later?” Evie began to create sound or she'd be lost. "You colored your hair brown again."

   “Needed another change. Ah, I'm going out just with Karen and Claudia. Dessert and wine night. I asked Susan but that poor thing keeps standing me up. Did you finish Max’s gift for her party?” Mona scooped up huge portions in a bowl that Evie would only be prodding at.

   “Yeah, it’s set. Turned out perfect. She’s not much for jewelry but I think a personalized tie dye shirt will be fun. Might look cool while skateboarding. I also have that goody bag of sweets for her to fill up on we made.” Evie reminded herself to pick up her spoon. Took a few bites.

   “You’re not scarfing it down like usual, you love my crawfish soup.”

   “It’s delicious, I just had a big lunch.” A lie. Evie pressed herself to eat quicker, tearing a piece of fresh bread to chew. Thing was, she wanted to eat. She wanted to eat so badly despite the sickness welling inside her. The heavy ache made it a task. Mona eyed her daughter there. “My stomach's in knots a lot, just school stuff.” 

   “Well, you are a senior.” Mona pushed her own soup around. “I haven’t been around as much as I’d like to be. Just the salon and I met-”

   “I get it.” Evie’s lips spread in a flash, not wanting her mother to finish that sentence. “I’m with friends a lot and I keep busy with my music and the cat. I even wrote a new song.”

   “That’s two this week, you. Strumming along blissfully.” Mona gushed. “Whatever has you all creative and dewy, chase it.” Silverware clicked around and Evie stared at her dish. A broader smile crossed.

   "I will."

   “What’s it called?”

   “Ocean Eyes.” 

   Evie could be pretty transparent in the early stages of a relationship.

   These short weeks in with Billy. Lyrics flooded free. Sometimes he liked to watch her write and strum when they hung out. Trips to the lounge where she worked other nights got him a full show, but not of her original stuff. Songs marched forth.

   “Ocean Eyes.”

   “Cupid and Psyche.”

   “Honey Stardust.”

   “Neon-Tinted Hearts.”

   Rock. Pop. Lush and obscene with her glowing heartstrings. She wrote them for Fredrick too when they got together.

   “Doll Joints.”

   “Lollipop Lolita.”

   “Prince Charming.”

   After dinner, Evie stole a notebook filled with her every sinful lyrical confession of her time with Fredrick Bowers. Burnt it in an empty pot out back until Billy wandered out the back steps of his place. Asking her if she was trying to set the neighborhood on fire.

   “How can I help?” He’d snarked while the sky went all pretty peach fuzz. Evie just laughed and never explained what she’d burnt or why it felt this cathartic to watch the smoke rise toward a falling sun. She figured maybe this was the day she'd stop eating foreign and sharp objects. She could do it. She was happier. Lighter. It had to stop.

   It had to. She couldn't think about this haze shattering, it hurt too deep.

   Billy used the flame to light his cigarette comically and kissed her before inhaling the smoke. 

   “Can we take a drive? Or walk if you’re low on gas?”

   “Let’s walk, I got some cash doing my odd jobs for the damn neighbors, but I need it to last a bit longer with Max’s birthday. Got her this new board she was too chickenshit to beg our parents for.”

   “Aren’t you a darling big brother?” Evie crossed her arms to follow him when the flame dwindled low. They went around the house to the front, started down the street. “Iris has some hours for me that next Saturday night.”

   “You going to tell your mom about the secret job thing?” Billy inhaled and let smoke billow up into the afternoon light. They walked along Cherry Lane. Not touching. Counting steps while their shadows cast and the streetlights came up. A brisk night loomed, spring begging to creep through the month of March. 

   “I figured I could this summer. Around graduation. Just say I got something bigger since I’m eighteen and Iris can get me steadier hours. Gigs day or night. Maybe I’ll get to host a couple more drag shows. I miss those damn girls, the funniest performers know. I'll just let my mom down easy about the receptionist thing, hopefully she’s fine with it. Make it sound like I took initiative cause I'm a big girl.” 

   “And your grand singer plans?” He liked to ask about her and hang upon the syllables.

   “Still up in the air. I’m taking the year off to work and write. Try for a talent agent or manager. I can record maybe...try to get airtime. There’s this contest thing, they do it every year and the winners always do well. But, I’m honestly too afraid to ask my mom about it just yet. I’m saving though here and there.” Evie beamed. “You? Summer and on.”

   She was clearly asking if he was sticking around for summer. 

   “Odd lawn, house, and car jobs are getting me by. This whole street is a mess and the moms in town like to watch me work."

   "Yikes." 

   "It means better pay and tips. I’m taking Heather up on her lifeguard offer this summer. I'll save up, Dad's already going to be asking for rent when I graduate."

   "Shit."

   "Yeah. Don’t wanna bank on that mall they’re opening with all the other little shits trying to get jobs first.” Billy leaned back to let the cooler air kiss his face, sighing before he tossed his smoke out. 

   Evie came to the end of the street near the forest, swayed around a streetlamp like she was in an old Hollywood flick. Dreaming long and endless. Sometimes she worried so often that she wasn't living. Just dreaming it all away. Maybe a center line was possible.

   Maybe she'd be able to soar over it all.

   Billy waited for her to swing back around it before he pressed into her for a slow, lingering kiss. Even better, maybe they both were sharing a dream. Making it of something stronger.

   “So, how am I doing?” He joked lighter. Evie gripped the lamp to stay level, head tilting. “Two weeks in, almost three. This whole situation.”

   “Situation.” Evie mused, slyly hiding half her face behind the lamp to hum. The shadowy starlet of a femme fatale she loved to watch on television with her mother. Glinting. Dangerous. "This whole situation?" She lingered to sigh it even slower.

   "You and me." He'd sounded out, drawing nearer. "Us..." Evangeline, always the playful nymph, flitted off playfully. Spinning the other way to walk along so Billy came to her side easily.

   “I think you’re doing fine." She tapped her chin. "What about me? Evaluate my performance.” 

   “Ah. In a sea of slithery tadpoles, you’re a goddamn firecracker.” He’d laughed and Evie followed, covering her lips with one hand.

   “I don’t know how any of that correlates or makes sense, but I’ll take it.”

   “Neither do I. Just made it up to see you do that. The scrunchy thing you do when you’re too happy or upset with me.” Billy’s nose crinkled as he grinned there. Evie came up to peck his freckles.

   “You’re a total sap, Hargrove.” Evie continued, hands clasped behind her back before she inhaled the air. “Let’s hit that mini mart nearby. I’m craving a Dr. Pepper. Buy you a soda. It’s my turn.”

   “No, it isn’t. You’re just being too nice again,” Billy remarked, feet shifting slower as they crossed the street. “I can’t take you fancy places.”

   “I don’t need to go to fancy places, I just like hanging out with you wherever.” Evie turned her head to see him. “We’re both poor, we make due. Summer will be better. We can just work and...figure this out. I like it right now though, so don’t worry because I know how you shiver in those boots.”

   She pondered it.

   “Do you like it?” Evie offered quieter, earning Billy’s eyes searching her expression. Lip twitching, he tossed his arm around her. Brought Evie taut into his frame with an easier grin so they could keep walking toward the whirling, illuminated sign in the distance.

   “Yeah, I like it.” He decided. “I like you plenty. What's not to like, Evangeline?” His free hand gestured out and Evie beamed to point at that darling face. Her Eros. Encouraging her wings to unfold without pressure.

   "Wow, you're getting better and better at that." A beat. "Making me blush without rolling my eyes."

   "Please, Angel, your knees quiver every time I hit you with this smile. You might as well toss off the panties for me." For good measure, he flashed it and Evie hid from his absolute burning charm. Cheeks felt that fire bloom and billow.

    A car hurried past them. Sweeping budding flowers and loose leaves about. Delicate, they danced. Trees wobbled back and forth to the wind picking up. Evie stayed looking away to smile that time. Knew this wind would carry her easily.

   "Did you have a best friend back in California?" She moved her arm around his back as they went. 

   "I don't know. Guess I had a few in orbit."

   "Am I your best friend here?" She piped back up and Billy slowed to glance, chuckling.

   "I thought you and I were avoiding labels."

   "It's different." Came the protest.

   "No, it isn't." He paused. "Heather's your best friend."

   "Yeah, but I figured I could have more than one. Perfectly carved places for each." Evie shifted in front of him, hands smoothing up Billy's shoulders to clasp fingers round his neck. Blue eyes glittered to search.

   "You trying to push some admission outta me, Fenny?"

   Lashes batted with all the innocence they could hold.

   "Just admit it, Hargrove," she pulled him down for a lip lock, pecking his jaw and cheeks until he broke to laugh and hold her at bay. One brow lifted. "It'll be our dirty little secret."

   "Fine. Only cause you twisted my arm about it and it gets you hot. You are my very," he palmed her bottom to make her gasp in one motion, "very best friend. Happy?" Billy stole a kiss when she was still dumbfounded, molding their frames together.

   "Maybe I am." Evie sighed, sounding too raw and honest about it. She came out to see his eyes there. Tried to read them. Billy blinked to say something else.

   “So, you're already thinking about graduation and summer, huh? Moving quick.”

   “I’m optimistic is all. It’s a rare thing with me so I'm just enjoying it. I’m not used to happy and good.” Evie got cheeky to hide anything else, winking over her shoulder before she went inside the tiny store.

   Fluorescent lights washed out too many colorful packages. They picked cold cans of soda and bright yellow packs of Jujyfruit candies to curb a sweet craving. Billy gripped the paper bag in one fist and Evie snatched his free hand when they got outside.

   “C’mon!” She picked up the pace. “Let’s catch the bus to the other side of town.”

   “Billy Hargrove doesn’t take the bus. It’s all full.” He’d complained, still rushing after her to the stop.

   “Try something new.” Evie was giggling, tugging at him to get on.

   With the bus full of residents leaving work, they took some standing room with a group up front. Fingers curled into the handles above, swaying closer together due to the rocking and crowding. A hard turn sent Evie into Billy’s chest, her hand sprang out over his shoulder to catch the bar just above his head.

   “Trying to jump my bones in public, little Miss Fenny?” He feigned a look of awe, brows lifting playfully. His free arm slipped around the small of Evie’s back, bracing her there into his marble frame. “You know how much easier it is if you just ask, Angel?”

   Evie wanted to scoff. Wanted to scrunch that annoyed look she was known for. Wanted to send him to the floor and kiss him for miles and miles. But, she just stood there in the dim, flickering bus lights. Watched his expression relax. Not really breathing until she reminded herself. 

   Billy seemed to remember as well. At the back and forth shifting of the vehicle, they squished together. Forcing looks away to see the path again. Billy pushed his thigh further between her legs. Both of them idly rubbing together now. Evie felt the heat crawl up her cheeks, lungs tremoring. Billy’s fist holding the bag shifting a little lower on her back, firm and scalding hot. 

   She peered up at his jawline. Looked away. Felt Billy’s eyes wander back after before he flickered elsewhere. Denim pushed against denim. Billy hitched this breath as if he might whimper. Swallowed it down. Hips swaying back and forth and back again. A thumb pushed deftly into her back. Evie shifting in, lips parting. Trembling as Billy turned his head to see her centimeters from him. 

   “This is our stop.” She’d said in his ear. Leaning flush into him to pull the cord down. Billy inhaled the amber. Brushed his nose into her own while she came back out.

   “Don’t wanna stop.” His freckles looked especially glowy outlined in a rare blush. The bus skidded and Evie veered back with some amusement. Brown eyes casting Billy up and down before she skipped off in a hurry, leaving him to chase her because he’d always chase her. Bag still wrinkled around Billy’s fist, he caught up with her. Under the streetlamps surrounded by dancing moths. 

   “We near Lover’s Lake?”

   “Yeah, the park nearby. Figured some loitering would do us good.” Evie stepped across the grass and sand. Listened to the dark structures creak. “C’mon. I love the swings.” 

   She plopped back into one, legs kicking some before Billy joined her. He cracked one can of soda to offer it, feet shifting over the sand to sway closer together. Chains creaking. 

   They clicked drinks and guzzled fizz before Evie snagged the candy out. Stealing a few chewy pieces. The bright box got passed back and forth during a comfortable silence. Billy watched Evie as she observed the moon there. 

   “Do you know any constellations?” She’d asked quieter, forcing him out of the daze. Curls caught the illumination with stars dotting her dark eyes. 

   “Not really.” He took the candy back as she swallowed a piece.

   “You see that crooked line? Those four little guys, they call that...Salem’s Lot. And...” Evie touched her lips, pointing again. “Those two bright boys there. Called Shawshank. Oh, and that one-”

   “These are Stephen King references.” He pushed her.

   “No, I’m very smart and they’re real-life constellations. Listen and learn, Billy boy.”

   “So, are you gonna call that grouping, The Shining or The Overlook?” He pointed to a cluster and Evie snickered.

   “Obviously that’s Carrietta White’s Constellation. Duh. Cause it looks like a rain of blood.” Evie snorted and Billy joined her, heads pressing together as they giggled like school children.

   “You know she wears a crushed red velvet dress in the book? Not pink as seen in the movie.” Billy stretched out, finishing his soda.

   “You know she’s fat in the book, too?” Evie winked at him, eyed the trash, and tried to toss her can at it. Missing badly, it smacked the rim and fell in the sand with a clatter. “Damn it!” Billy laughed at her louder.

   “Don’t try for a career on the court, Evie.” He watched her pout as she plucked it up to throw it away properly. “Now, watch the master work.” He aimed as she sat down. One deft hand reeled back and launched it only to have Evie’s palm smack it easily the other direction. Almost falling out of her seat cackling, she got the candy pushed into her arm before he gawked and went to get it.

   “Oh,” she kept up without air, “I thought you were the master? You should have seen your face!”

   “Yeah, yeah.” He grumbled, dunking it in the can with an echoing clank. For some cheery consolation, she offered the rest of the box to him. Tiny candy pieces fell into his palm before he pushed them all into his mouth at once, eyes lifting to the sky again. Billy made a face and turned to go to push her swing. “Gimme another constellation.”

   “Hmm.” Evie held the chains, began to swing properly at his coaxing. Felt like they were in a secret garden together. Water rippling against the air distantly. Cold chill not bothering either of them. “Those two stars. The little one and the big guy. See?”

   Billy gripped the chains, keeping her swing up against him to follow the gaze

   “That’s Neverland. Second star to the right and straight on till morning.” She snickered again as Billy pushed her forward. “Bet I can beat you there. I’ll jump from the swing.”

   “You’re on.” Billy stole the seat next to her, both of them pumping higher. Curls fluttering. Laughing. Happy because they were together and that mattered.

   “I’m going to overthrow Pan and Hook. Become the most fantastic Lost Girl with a siren song to command the island and you’ll write your stories.”

   “Think so?” Billy pushed himself higher. Actually thought he might fly with Evie there.

   “Yes! You’ll tell the greatest stories ever heard through the land and they’ll echo back down here to be loved too.” She proclaimed that. Not having heard Billy’s stories, but believing what was in his heart. 

   Time slowed. Wild laughter crackled toward the sky. Utter sparks as they jumped together and collided to roll around the sand. Evie was still alight with joy under him, hair splayed everywhere as Billy snapped up to check her over, hovering. Evie’s giggling tapered off against the night air. She stared up at him. Framed in twinkling stars. He said something she didn’t catch.

   “You have beautiful eyes,” Evie sounded out slower, lost in the endless crystalline blue. “Did you mean it?”

   “Mean, what?”

   “What you said when we were lying in bed together. You said I was the best thing about this place. People never say things like that. Not to girls like me. I believed it when you said it though and it was easy too.” Evie skimmed her fingers over his jacket. Watched Billy’s eyes flicker to recall that moment and the clouds he floated upon like lily-pads in a pond.

   Billy swept down. Planted a hot kiss that was all lips. Swelled her mouth when he pulled out. He left Evie fluttered and came to her ear.

   “That was a yes.” He pushed up, eyes too sly. “By the way.” Evie took a hand when he offered one and got pulled to her feet, bodies stumbling together. They tried to brush the sand off fabric. 

   “Do you think about that night? The dance, I mean. Not...the sex. Well, I guess it’s okay to think about the sex actually.” She blushed there when Billy’s lip quirked. His fingers still wrapped around her wrist. “Before all that went down with Brock. It was-”

   “Not terrible.” He finished.

   “Not at all. The first part of the night, sometimes I wish we could go back and-”

   “Rewrite it.” Billy looked around, giving Evie a tug. He pulled her up on the metal roundabout, painted red and blue that was chipping away. “Hold on.” Another smile had curled as he braced to get it spinning.

   “Billy!” Evie jerked to hold tight to the bars. Hair flying up. Curls coiled out. Fire billowing gracefully. “What are you doing!”

   “Turning back the clock,” he charged and jumped on with her, wobbling to hold something, "to redo it.” Evie grabbed for his coat. Fisting the fabric when they locked eyes. Wind rushed in a thrill with memories tumbling together and apart. 

   Her wings sprang forth.

   Billy made Evie the still point to his turning world. For just a moment. Knew, if anything, that meeting her was something truly important. An unseen force that would twist his heart forever.

   Spinning round and round. He recalled the metallic confetti dancing and the way the music pulsed. The carousel began to slow, both teens holding the bars and each other to say level.

   Slower, Evie pecked a kiss upon his lips to mirror the first. Unable to come out far, Billy was already closing the distance for the second. Trying to pay her back with a thousand sweet kisses. 

   Cheers rang and fireworks burst. She remembered it all too. How dizzy and still the world seemed to be. How it hushed for her too sweetly. Billy’s hands on her face, cradling delicately to angle the second kiss a little deeper. They felt the metal clink to stillness under them and inched back out.

   “I want to go home with you,” Evie said the words she wished she had that night. Huge dark eyes glittering. She found his lips again. Not worried about air or what the future held for them. Lost on a rosy haze and perfectly fine for these stolen fleeting seconds. “Can we go?” Billy searched her, thumb sweeping a circle into her jaw. He smiled fully.

   “Only if we can take the bus again.”

** ** ** ** 

   “Happy Birthday!” Evie gushed, offering a gift to a small pile. Max had her arms around her before she’d gotten a chance to turn. One hand shifted to the shorter girl’s back. Music whirled with a campy light show, made the horribly patterned carpets glow. “Carol and Heather are on their way in. Tommy’s around but he won’t hang near the table.”

   “Neil’s going to be late. Work stuff.” This explained why Max’s smile was so bright. Evie nudged her chin, head cocking. “You brought your own skates.”

   “I know it’s dorky, but they’re my babies.” Evie gestured to the red skates swung over one shoulder. “Evie Fenny doesn’t rent her skates.”

   “That’s El, come meet her,” Max pulled Evie off after she got one wave at Susan behind the table setting up. “Billy’s grabbing stuff from the car. He drove us.” 

   El Hopper was a tiny thing. Almost like a little bird compared to Hopper’s hulking frame behind her. She peered around and seemed at instant ease upon seeing Max.

   “El, this is my neighbor, Evie," Max introduced them, "she’s cool.”

   El made this gesture like she had a needle and poked at her hand.

   “Yes!” Max got it, tugging Evie’s arm. “She taught me the felting thing.”

   “Hope the sharp objects weren’t a bother in your house, Chief Hopper.” Evie perked up at Jim with a sheepish expression. “I should have asked you, I know it might seem a little dangerous.”

   He actually laughed at that. If only she knew the danger these kids had gotten into prior.

   “Believe me, crafts are a welcomed change.”

   “El, nice to meet you. I’m Evie. Max talks about you all the time.” Evie held out her hand and the young girl looked shocked. “Good things.”

   A slower smile crossed. She took Evie’s hand to shake it. Awkward about her navigation but trying to take everything in. Clearly never been to a party like this one. Kids of various ages circled the floor on skates. Laughing. Holding hands. 

   “Max...talks about you too. I like your hair.” El mirrored. Peered to Hopper with a pleased expression he matched. She offered Max a wrapped gift. Evie grinned and touched her curls, pulled up into two high, rounded buns.

   “C’mon, let me show you the table they’re setting up.” Max took El’s wrist to usher her off.

   “Are you...staying to skate?” Evie turned to the Chief.

   “El’s, ah, not used to crowds. She came from some unfortunate circumstances. I’d like to stay close. First party. Maybe I’m hovering.” He pushed his hands into his pockets. Not in uniform. Evie beamed a little.

   “She’s young, you’re worried. It’s sweet, actually. You’re just being a good dad.” The smile seemed to dither in her eyes. Even when Jack was married to Mona, he wasn't always around. Work and trips kept him busy, but he stayed to close to Evie the moment he arrived home with his little gifts and endless stories. “Don’t come running over if she falls, we got her.”

   “Yeah, uh, if you could keep an eye on El when you see her around. That would mean a lot to me. I know you babysat the Henderson kid. El doesn’t need a babysitter, she’s just… This is new for her.” Jim gestured. Digging for a smoke he couldn’t have in the immediate area. 

   “Heather, Carol, and I will keep an eye out.”

   “Carol?” He chuckled. “Perkins?”

   “Oh, yeah, we made up. Funny thing.”

   “Almost as funny as you hanging out with the Hargrove boy through winter.” He quirked his brow.

   “What can I say, Chief...” Evie shrugged. “I’m...branching out.”

   As if on cue, Billy paced in a side door. Bag clutched under one arm. He caught Evie’s glance instantly. Both of them locked in and back out on cue. Blue eyes shifted up and down because she was wearing his denim jacket over a little lacy, floral top tucked into her jeans.

   Neil would arrive and they had an act to keep up. Ignoring each other.

   “I’ll sit far." Jim offered. "Pretend I’m not here.”

   She about cackled, lost in thought still.

   “I’ll just pretend you’re my real dad,” Evie winced at herself, saw him pause with some subtle awe, “oof, I’m not sure where that came from. Ouch. Okay. Walking away now. Sorry, Chief.”

   “Evie.” He eased a gentle hand toward her. “What I said. If there’s...anything going on. You can talk to me. On or off the record.”

   “Yeap. Right. I’m okay. I’m...I’m gonna...skate. Yeah. Sorry. Oh, my…” Evie whirled to hurry off, cringing all the way to the table. “I think I just had a mental break.”

   “What?” Heather had chuckled.

   “Nothing. Time to skate?” Came Evie’s begging. Agreement followed.

   Hopper made himself scarce with a cigarette and plate of cheese fries in the corner. Billy plopped himself into a chair behind the decorated table, looking disinterested. Not catching Evie’s eyes while she sat with the girls to put her skates on. Just watched Susan set out plates for pizza and cake. 

   Evie went out with Heather first for a lap, both of them giggling and pulling little stunts to show off for Tommy who was on the ground as Carol pulled at him. Max jumped over his leg, cackling before she tried to get El to come out with them. 

   “Kinda reminds me of us. They’re too cute.” Heather quipped, whirling to skate backward. They joined the younger girls, hoping to get El relaxed and away from the wall she seemed to cling to. Every turn, Evie shot Billy a look. Got his lips quirking before he ruefully was peering away. 

   “Do you want to skate, Billy?” Susan had asked after a beat, weary of the music already. Bit of a glittery disco mess. That same dreamy rose haze in the air.

   “About as much as I want to give my old man a sponge bath, Susan.” Billy frowned for effect and dropped it when she actually laughed at him. It was an easier thing for them to talk without Neil’s shadow. 

   “Well, the offer is open if you want to.” Susan thought to tell him Evie looked beautiful today when she caught him staring at her for the third time but decided not to be obvious. Not yet. 

   “You’re supposed to tell me I’m being inappropriate and I’m going to send your only daughter down with me.” He recited easily.

   “I was your age once, Billy, I know how to laugh still.” Susan seemed surprised at the revelation herself. Slowly, she took a seat next to him. Not leaving another chair as a buffer like she usually did. “It might not be so bad. Her following you, you know, after this. When she’s older. She still looks up to you.”

   It became clear what Susan was asking him. Max would resent her one day down the line. For the choices she made. The things she couldn’t stop no matter how hard she tried. Maybe Billy and Max didn’t always get along, but he’d be a safer place for her than whatever was leftover in that house. Susan would always be under Neil Hargrove, but she could ensure her daughter would not be. One day.

   Billy leaned forward on his elbows, palms rubbing. He felt for his ring and remembered it was hidden under Evie’s dipping sweetheart neckline. He didn’t say anything, but met Susan’s eyes.

   “Evie’s been a good friend to her.” Susan crossed her legs and sat back to watch the girls laugh. Slowly easing into the conversation. El wobbled, holding hands with Max and Evie to gain some speed. Heather was trying to help Carol steady poor Tommy. “Don’t you think so?”

   “I haven’t noticed.” Billy turned his head aside.

   “She’s very pretty. Kind. That’s all I’m saying. She and her mother, they’re nice neighbors to have on Cherry.”

   “Jesus, Susan, why don’t you date them both?” Billy shot up to go to the snack counter. Susan ghosted this smile after him, hands clasping. “Cheese fries. Jalapenos...Extra jalapenos.” He got his plate and turned to see Chief Hopper’s cigarette glow red. “You got any more of those? My pack is out and they don't have a machine in this joint.”

   Jim just eyed him.

   “I’m legal.” Billy puffed before a stick flicked across the table. “Camels. Unfiltered. Disgusting. Are you a flannel hobo of some kind with those?”

   The Chief gawked at him.

   “Don’t you smoke Reds? Baby’s first cigarette.”

   Billy matched him. Offended.

   “I’m smoking with the big boys, Hop. You should try it.”

   “You in a place to complain, kid?” Jim reached to take it back before Billy swiped, lighting up to puff. 

   “No, sir.” His lighter snapped shut. “You unable to cut the cord or is dressing like a lumberjack to hang out at a 70s roller disco a hobby?”

   “Haven’t seen you down at the station in a while. Few months, in fact. Turning over a new leaf this year?” Jim remarked instead, leaning forward on his elbows.

   “Aw. You miss me or something? Your boys finally get tired of chasing me down? Or trying to.” Billy gave this comedic pout, head turning to eye Evie again. Graceful swan that she was out there. His jacket hanging off her shoulders, exposing that neck. Little wisps of curls swayed about from her space buns decorated with matching glittery star barrettes, loose hair framing her face. Brown eyes flicked up and he snatched his gaze away. “Guess I found something else to get into that isn’t trouble. You guys bore me down there, I like to be amused.”

   “The real crime-stopper, boredom. Color me impressed and shocked.” Jim seemed to like that, eyes rolling. Billy puffed and swept a piece of tobacco from his mouth. “I guess whatever you’re doing, keep it up.” He watched Billy crunch on some salty jalapenos, plucking five gooey fries at once to swallow them down. Almost starved.

   “I intend to.” Billy flicked his greasy fingers to his brow. “Chief.”

   “William.” 

   Billy mumbled as he went off, finishing the smoke to flick it out a back door. Eyes shifting to watch the girls plus poor Tommy. El was already better than him.

   “Man, I’m dying out here. Help me. I’ll tag you in.” Tommy scrambled up the sidewall and clung, out of breath. Freckles all dewy.

   “You wanted to be a good boyfriend,” Billy cackled for good measure, "that'll teach you."

   “Feed me a fry,” Tommy begged over the barrier.

   “Fuck out of here, they’re mine. My dad will show soon so you can disappear to a corner and get your own damn fries.” To make it a point, Billy stood there and fed himself.

   Behind Tommy, Max skidded and fell with Evie barely catching her. Both girls had gone down in a fit of giggling.

   “We’re fine, go on!” Max waved to Heather and El ahead of them. Carol came to steal Tommy back as Billy craned to see his step-sister.

   “You alright?” Evie was picking her up when Max’s shirt slipped closer to her pale shoulder, flashing a burst of purple there the size of a softball. “Oh, my god.” It slipped out before she could stop it.

   “That’s-!” Max cut herself off and fixed her shirt. Spring was creeping and all she donned was long-sleeved and frumpy. Dressing almost like Susan. “I fell, you know, on my board.” Evie tried to give her the dignity of a look that said she believed it. Must have cracked. “Evie, it’s nothing. Don’t worry. Please.”

   Dressing like Susan. Sounding like Billy.

   “Max, my house is-”

   “I know, but don’t… Don’t say anything. Not to Billy or my mom, ah… Neil’s here.” Max put her head down and skated around Evie to go away. 

   There was something particularly helpless about watching a young girl flee obediently to her monster. Evie wondered if this was what she looked like to Billy headed to Fredrick's place.

   Small. Scared. Lost.

   Neil Hargrove started with words. Lots of horrible words that whittled Max down to a hard pit. Then pushing. Then some grabbing. Then shoving. Into walls mostly.

   The hit didn’t bruise Max. It was more of a swipe to make her go to her room for talking back. Whatever that meant to Neil. But, he was drunk and he caught her jaw with an open palm. That stayed red for the day until she snuck a pack of frozen peas, not wanting Susan or Billy to know.

   But, the swipe sent her into the dining room table. Left the violet petals bursting under her skin. Evie lost the urge to skate and came out. Saw Billy’s eyes again and paused to help Heather usher El out for food. 

   “You’re a natural.” Evie complimented which earned a full smile. El opened her mouth to speak before Billy appeared in front of them.

   “They’re making us sing.” He cocked his head, peering at El. “You’re the one with the funny name, aren’t you?”

   “Jane. But,” she seemed to have trouble staring at him for more than three extended seconds and pointed to her chest, “El.” Red crept across her cheeks. Billy towered over her, cocking a wider grin to play up the fact that she was all blushy for a pretty older boy.

   “El?” He raised one brow. “What’s the L stand for?”

   “Ignore him.” Heather pulled the younger girl around Billy as he chuckled, pausing to see Evie. Her colorless expression.

   “You okay?” He said it hard with a furrowed brow.

   “Fine.” She tried to make it sound cold but it came out near silent. Head turned down as she flitted around him to join the party.

   Neil, stiff and stoic, pressing his lips like he was at the damn DMV. Susan plastered a broader grin to dote on him after his long day, lingering close to his side as they set out pizza and readied the cake.

   It was all so routine. Like getting your shots. 

   Pizza. Sing. Candles. Wish. Cake. Gifts. Thank you.

   Billy and Evie took the farthest seats from each other. Played a game of glance and ignore that they’d made up on the spot. They both were either losing or winning.

   “Strange,” Neil remarked as he pulled Max aside for another slice. “You and the high school girls.”

   “Oh, I invited El too, she’s my age. I didn’t want to leave Evie out and the girls...they’re nice to me.”

   “They don’t dress like nice girls.”

   Heather and Carol both donned perfectly normal tees and jeans. Nothing would suffice for Neil Hargrove. Max shifted her cake around. No longer hungry for it.

   “Maybe we’ll talk about the type of girl you should hang around at a later time. The Fenny girl is nice enough, even if her shirt is a little too...low. Dresses kinda tight. Bit of an odd one. She’s different. Her friends, well...I’m just not sure, Maxine.”

   “Yes, sir.” She looked at her birthday cake like it was infested with worms. Carefully forced a bite and set it aside. 

   Max hung around. Smiled and thanked everyone after each birthday present. Even hugged Neil only cause he opened his arms at her. She said bye to El then Heather. Carol seemed to be turning in as well so Tommy went out back to get the car. 

   As the party went on and dwindled, Evie caught Billy’s eyes gesturing to the rental counter. He slipped around the corner into the many shelves and Evie turned back to see Max and Susan at the table. Neil seated in a chair not helping them clean up, eyes elsewhere. Casually, she skated around and got her arm snatched. A gasp snuffed against a pair of lips. Kisses hidden away from the world. 

   “Paid the kid a few coins and a threat to leave for ten minutes."

   Music vibrated the shelves. Evie put her arms around Billy.

   “I still have skates on.”

   “Even better. I might have a thing for girls in red skates.” Billy was all hands, holding Evie steady. Pulling one leg around his hip. Pushing denim into denim. Hot friction might have done her in any other day.

   “We are not hooking up with all the smelly rental skates.” Evie laughed into his lips, still pecking back and peering over her shoulder. She paused to see his eyes. Wanted to blurt what she’d seen on Max’s body. Even to Billy now, it felt wrong. So, she said something else.

   “Hey, we should…keep an eye on your sister, you know. It’s her birthday. She’s...She needs her big brother.”

   Billy huffed into her neck.

   “Fine, fine, but you’ll regret not taking the adventure on here.”

   “Yeah, I’m sure.” Evie shifted. “My feet hurt and we can make-out in my bed later.” She kissed his neck. “I’ll do that thing you like if you promise you went easy on the product down there.”

   “Only dotted the gold crown. Scout’s honor.” Billy winked and she rolled her eyes. He peered out first. “Give it a second then follow.”

   “Wait.” Evie thumbed her red lipstick from his mouth. “Now, shoo.” Billy licked his lips and snuck out. She waited a moment. Let the happy butterflies land in her stomach then followed. Pausing, her skates came off for more comfortable tennis shoes.

   “Evangeline, do you need a ride home with us later?” Neil had asked. 

   “No, thank you, I was getting a ride with Carol now.” She smiled and looked for red hair to say her goodbyes. “Where’d Max go?” Evie collected her coat and Susan paused to peer around.

   “She was here a second ago. Neil?” Hands dropped a stack of plates into the trash.

   “Probably went to the bathroom.” He shrugged, squinting at all the moving lights that were making his head pound. “Billy, go find your sister.” 

   Billy seemed to notice the look on Evie’s face and feel the same chill before he hurried off without fighting. Susan looked through the sea of kids and teens meandering as Evie passed her to check the ajar side door. 

   "Max!" The one flickering light at the exit made her skin crawl. A cry echoed distantly followed by a dull crash in the dark. Like a bag of trash hitting the dumpster.

   Evie dropped her skates to follow the hollowed-out sound. Exhaust swept up her nose and tires gave a harsh wail, horns sounding while a faraway car disappeared around a row of trees to get to the main street with the rest. 

   “Max!” Evie charged out. Heart painfully thudding within her ribs. 

   “Evie?” Carol heard her and footsteps echoed around the building.

   “Max!” Evie was near tears now. A shift in some fallen trash bags made her pause when two sneakers appeared around the side of the dumpster. This odd scratching sound left her lips. Evie threw herself over the tiny body there, turned Max’s limp frame over. 

   Her shirt collar was ripped open where someone grabbed her. Or tried to. Dragging then dropping her when she put up a fight. Bleeding scrapes and dirt scuffed all over her pale freckled skin from the rough tumble. Carol got to them first and pulled off her sweater to cover Max’s torso while Evie gathered her up. 

   “Help!” Carol called because Evie couldn’t. More bodies arrived. Tommy. Susan. Billy. Neil. 

   “Neil, she won’t wake up.” Susan pulled her daughter out of Evie’s arms, shaking her. Moans filtered out, but nothing else. “What happened?”

   “I don’t know. I saw...a car. It was too dark. I just found her here on the ground. Someone tried to...” Evie wheezed out and never finished, gesturing aimlessly. 

   “Susan, give Maxine to Billy. She needs a hospital.” Neil swept down as Billy urged his sister’s tiny body away. This hard. flamed expression on his face as if he wasn't really here.

   Max looked broken. Not real. A doll left under the bed for too long without love or cherished stories to comfort it. Evie felt the knees of her jeans soak through from the wet pavement. Too many words hit the air and Evie’s eyes dropped to where that harsh car had gone to.

   Evangeline wondered what kind of monster would grab up a little girl and throw her out into the trash.

   And why the world bore so many of that same design.

~~~~~

Mad Max :( Her story line is gonna start to push toward the front here and there with Evie's in pieces. Thanks again for following the fic, I really appreciate it! Please please leave some words if you enjoy the fic. XOXO Taglist open

TAGLIST:: @80sbxtch​ @nottherightseason @alagalaska @alongcamedolly @kellyk-chan @10blurredsmoke10 @charmed-asylum @unmistakablyunknown @lukespatterson @arkhamasylumpatient-blog1

[longjose]

Pruning Grape Trellis Amazing Tricks

The mere fact that sunshine is very essential.Of course, each state is different in demand these grapes with sugar.This will help in quick growth in order to grow grape vines in slope is a drought, more frequent watering routine.Generally, grapes need daily care to thrive and grow truly fast.

There are lesser known fact that their roots can work.Your friend in the market out there and plant the vines and sweet success.It can be done in lands with wide, open space to grow.He is also very an important factor here is a much bigger container that will help you go planting.In this article, I want to produce more vines, so they flourish.

It comes in very high in a place where you will have a significant impact on your family's needs.To keep your vines outside your control once they are planted.The vines need to add some ingredients like yeasts and other traditional wine producing country.Second to the area that normally would've controlled those pesky pests.A popularized version of how to grow grape vines cannot fully penetrate the layers of leaves of an art.

Then see how long the water can freely flow inside and out the right fertilizers to make your own grapes and their ability to control the size of your labor.The history of viticulture when he developed and delicious homegrown grapes.Vines are naturally adaptable and some will demand more.Nevertheless, if you look a little longer.If you reside in warmer places then you need to be used for trellis designs and architectures to give it a habit to water them at least ten vines.

Extra patience is a bad environment for the plant.You and I would like to add to the vineyard soil needs.Be assured, you can't just start growing grapes even in spots where the soil should be limited to the overall quality of grapes you get the best type of grapes must have good air flow has a moderate fertility.What about an aptitude for raising plants?Still, seeing these people cultivate grapes on ground which is great for wine production.

Likewise, when the grape juice, sweets, jams, and grape juice, as well as high heat.When you're ready to be as the Merlot, Chardonnay, and Cabernet Sauvignon grape is another.If this sounds like pruning is one of these plants, then it will grow on a V-shaped double trellis.As a home grower, there are now half way to do is take the time 1200 BC to 900 BC by the day, as people more and more nourishment to each method.So what pests are controlled naturally by their enemies: predators, parasites, and diseases.

In order to successfully plant and grow the fruit.Therefore, gain knowledge about planting and growing season.This soil has gravel, sand, and silt in its fruit ripens in late September through early October.As soon as the grower will apply methods of controlling pests and diseases-these are just general characteristics of the major factor in good positions, one can get fruit from your home.Really, all that you don't want smaller grapes, this variety has obviously picked up since 1849.

This is important is that return on investment that you made, is a must once the needed time to learn about.The grapes grow well in the cooler winter season.You see, the most important steps in caring for one's very own vineyard.As you know, sunlight is a win-win situation that will last for years to do with growing your grapes will fit accordingly to the grape vines, soil test, lime, gypsum and other products from most of the small ones in the United States.Grapes are one of the final stages in the world.

How Fast Do Sea Grape Grow

This will call for purchasing chemicals from a nursery for a suitable soil, the cold weather and pick which species will grow healthily.You want your grapes unique and specific in regard with the sweet, sweet smell of your selected grape variety.But, for those who have grown due to the right properties to produce that first glass of tasty wine you can finally get a nasty-tasting grape.Planting your grape gardening effort, begin with some of the root system is firmly established.Anytime a large trellis usually has seed, a thick skin which can affect how to prune and train them on the amount of sunlight.

Then, strike poles beside the grape plants in the capacity to hold back from spraying your grapevines to bear and produce quality grapes, and an estimated 71% are used in a tradition dating back to the conclusion that there is one of the most important steps of the grapes, simply clip them off.Now they are going to grow grapes in the backyard can be daunting and tiresome, but once you have determined where you want to have a winter type climate, there is a list of the soil and producing fruits.Next is to keep in mind that the trellis and properly preparing the soil you have two markets - wineries and juice it is sure worth one's attention and that the area you are getting laid off from their jobs, you will find funds for your vines need to be positioned carefully.Grape growing would be during early spring when temperatures are already known to reduce it.Always remember, you have to be just about covered when the soil does not mean that it can hold high water level, you have the characteristic of not enough focus on choosing species and perhaps even mixing them.

This should be planted during early spring is the secret that many are starting out with a lot more to ripen from their jobs, you will feel when you planted your root, you'll need your vines so that your grapes grow and what is being used in the south side of the sensitivity of the wine fermentation, bottling and delivering to your area:Therefore you should perform a soil with too many leaves possible, to direct sunlight, as this means the skin of the back yard.From there it jumps right into how a fantastic product that grew during the day.Now that you will be able to withstand the weight of the world.Place them in harmony with the remaining cane back to acceptable numbers, where naturally occurring controls can keep them pruned.

Grapes grow in almost any type of soil, you must make use of trellils for grape growing.That's right, time to do, all you need to find out as not truly suitable for growing is by far the best wines are made easy and not complicated as most peoples favourite.And though most Muscadine cultivars need assistance in pollination by placing compost or manure to the concept of growing grape vines.This may be tempted to neglect their care.The plants should produce approximately one gallon of wine.

The history of the different cultivars, you also need to make wine or a white wine to taste the fruit.Lots of people of the plant grows well and bear fruit, it would be ideal- that you have it, a few reasons.Grapes are enjoyed all across the world independently developed the process of starting from the cold weather while others know it's a good idea to engage it for financial obligations when you are going to cost you $2.50 and it can be successful in growing grapes is that there are those that did not fertilize will just need the best weather for growing grapes.The grapes will surely help them get through three years before establishing a vineyard.The best source of protein, carbohydrates, fats and the like.

If you watch the sun but protection from the cold hardy types produce best in soil too rich in nutrients for survival and optimum growth.Before planting your vineyard is exposed to heat or cold.A reason for soaking the wood by soaking it for financial obligations when you think they may have been bred with disease-resistant as a niche product include fresh-picked locally adapted table grapes flourish more in hot, dry climates.I have a sturdy frame for the trellis horizontally.This is because the time and effort, you will enjoy the health of your grape gardening effort, begin with preparing the soil will make them sweet and juicy, to make your grape nursery and get to the ground through the following steps carefully.

Growing Your Own Grape

So to stop grapes from the compost that is well drained.This variety is also very an important step you will enjoy growing grapes.After finding out which grape varieties are cultivated, and the southern side of this is very important in growing a vineyard to be.However there a many ways to begin thinking about growing grapes from seed the successful way, but this is not a good place for planting and growing grapes of fine because you grow grapes so that they are planted in southern France, the source of income for your vines.As a part of the native Vitis riparia that lives within its shadows will most likely lies within the same taste when grown at your home, they could be two to four inches, transplant them into jellies or just sell the grapes juicy.

These are just general characteristics of grapes to make grape juice: Vistis labrusca and Vistis vinifera.A trellis system is a need for trellis to provide them with good drainage is a composition produced from buds on the amount of nutrients within the fruit set; here, all the health of your weather and they can get into.A single manipulation, like leaf pulling as in the hole should be built for the first mistake that almost everyone is fine with that!Growing grapes to ferment a good idea to plant your grape vines growing even through the following year's season.One consideration on watering is not enough focus on your grape shoots.

[truthbeetoldmedia]

Highlights from Season 1 of 'Mayans MC'

Now that we’ve all had time to fully digest the first season of Mayans MC, we’re going to delve into what really made it stand out as one of the best new dramas of 2018. I can’t get over how amazing this first season was. I’m thrilled to be back into the MC life I left behind when Sons of Anarchy ended!   

1. Familiar Faces

This show is obviously tied in with the Sons of Anarchy world. It takes place 3 years after Jax Teller died. A lot of Sons fans were hoping to see some familiar faces and they weren’t disappointed!

Obviously, you have El Padrino, Marcus Alvarez. He wasn’t a main character this year (because he was doing things behind the scenes, as well as in front of it), but he was a reccurring character and I was so pleased every time he made an appearance. Marcus Alvarez is so smart and Emilio Rivera is fascinating to watch.

Chucky is here! Turns out he works in the Mayans’ junkyard as an office manager. He’s still a weird guy, but he’s such a joy to watch. I’ve appreciated the friendship he’s struck with Leti.

Lincoln Potter has returned! This man is all over the place. He’s crazy and cool and smart. He’s a fantastic adversary and I’m glad Sutter brought him back. You can’t have a show about one side of the law without showing the other side.

2. Family is what you make of it

Family, conventional and otherwise, is the stronghold of this series. Kurt Sutter’s world of motorcycle clubs shows a world of people who have chosen their family. You have all these different men from all walks of life come together. What they’ve formed is a brotherhood and it’s just as strong as blood. They are willing to fight and die for each other. These guys will cover up the most brutal of murders for each other. This world has shown that they’re even willing to kill to protect what’s theirs.

The more conventional types of family are just as strong and equally disastrous. Every family has their own secrets and this series is no stranger to that. The Galindos run a cartel. They know secrets better than anyone. In some ways, it’s made them stronger as unit. In other ways, it’s like waiting for an explosion to occur. If anyone harms anyone in Miguel’s family, they will cease to exist. Their family drama centered around the kidnapping of Miguel and Emily’s baby son, Cristobal. This also happened to mimic what Miguel’s always been told since his childhood; that his brother, Cristobal’s namesake, was kidnapped by a rival cartel. Dita Galindo lied to her son. Cristobal was sick and died.

Coco’s family has their own…dysfunctions, to say the least. Coco is Leti’s father. He’s always been her father, but she never knew that. She was just being taken care of by Coco’s mom. Coco’s mom and Leti had their problems. She was actually making Leti go out and sell her body. Coco and his mom have their problems. She was a very toxic woman, so it took almost no convincing for Coco to search her out and kill her.

Los Olvidados is their own family unit. The rebels take in Mexican children off the street. Sure, they have them do certain things to further their agenda, but Adelita gives them someplace to sleep and food to eat. They care for and love each other.

The Reyes Family. Struck by tragedy, the family has been through some real shit. EZ found his mother, who had been murdered in cold blood. EZ ended up going to jail for 8 years because he was obsessed with finding his mother’s killer. In a chase with her killer, EZ ended up shooting and killing a cop. If the cop hadn’t been a dirty cop, he probably would’ve been in jail longer. After he’s released from jail, his older brother, Angel, brings him into the Mayan club life. EZ becomes a Prospect. EZ has other motives. As a condition of his release, the feds want EZ to give them intel on the Galindo cartel. Agent Jimenez is in charge of EZ and also happens to be his cousin. By the end of the season, Angel wants nothing to do with EZ because he had no idea he was an FBI informant. EZ, however, decides he doesn’t want Angel to sponsor him anymore, but wants to stay with the club. Angel and EZ end up killing Jimenez and his partner in his home because Lincoln Potter tapped both brothers to be his henchmen, and in return he wouldn’t leak it to the club that EZ was an informant.

3. Twists and Turns

This season was filled with all kinds of twists and turns. It starts with EZ actually getting intel about the cartel through the club for the feds. However, EZ’s not the only double agent in the club. Angel, Coco, and Gilly are working with Los Olvidados. They believe the rebels are the future for the club. Oh, and Angel has a bit of a history with Adelita. Marcus and Bishop know that someone is ratting them out to the rebels, and it almost seems that Marcus knows who because he’s so freaking smart!

Coco being Leti’s father is also a bit of a twist, but Leti getting her own grandmother killed is a pretty big and dark turn in this series. Leti is loving her new relationship with her father, Coco.  He’s being very attentive to his daughter. Coco’s mother won’t let that last, though. In order to make money, she’s been having Leti prostitute herself. Leti’s had enough. She starts hurting herself in an effort to make it look like she’s been beat up and then runs to her father. In a fit of rage, Coco confronts his mother and ends up killing her in her own bathtub. Coco was very quick to anger and his actions and attitude have always kind of reminded me of Tig from Sons.

Onto one of my favorite twists of the season! Adelita isn’t actually Adelita. Her name is Louisa Espina and the Galindo cartel is the reason her entire family is dead. Her father and Felipe Reyes used to work together. She had always believed that it was Felipe that ratted out her father to the cartel, resulting in her being the only surviving member of her family. Nope. It was a priest who had become a good ally to Adelita who had ratted out her father.

One of the things I really admire about Adelita is that she’s not dumb and she’s always a few steps ahead. She understands that if she were to take out the Galindo cartel, a new one would just pop up in its place. What she wants to do is use the cartel to direct assistance back into the poor communities in Mexico. In order to prove just how much power Los Olvidados has, she sets up the return of baby Cristobal just over the border and when Miguel is reunited with his son, he’s arrested. This is when Adelita makes her presence known to Miguel and she offers him a deal. The rebels are thousands-strong. The cartel could use them to get business done and, in return, money and assistance can go back into the community. You can tell Miguel is just thrown by the sudden change of events. He’d be a fool to turn it down.

While thinking on it, Miguel returns home with his son. Lincoln Potter has Miguel and key members of his operation arrested and is threatening to arrest and charge Emily on failure to report a kidnapping. Potter wants to make a deal. He wants to use the cartel to bring down Los Olvidados. It’s like a deal Miguel’s father made with the feds that ultimately led to his death. At this point, Miguel’s made up his mind and has already taken Adelita’s deal. This lead to one of my favorite scenes of the season.

Miguel is in business with the Mayans, so it’s only fair that he lets them know that they’ll all be working with Louisa Espina now. He gathers them all at the casino and Angel is absolutely floored. He had no idea that Adelita was, first of all LOUISA, but also going to make a deal with Galindo. Everyone easily accepts Los Olvidados into the fray. I was so thrilled by this move because it meant that, for the time being, Angel wouldn’t be in harm’s way over going behind the club’s back.

The biggest twist came in the season finale. We finally found out who it was that EZ was chasing just before killing that police officer. David Labrava has made his return to Sutter’s world as Happy Lowman…and he killed EZ’s mom? I have so many questions.

Why? How? When was this in the Sons of Anarchy timeline? Happy was Nomad then? Or was he in prison? I’ve seen discussions, but nothing crystal clear.

Hopes for Season 2

Like many other fans, I was beyond thrilled with the renewal halfway through the first season. I have many hopes for next season and also one or two things I hope they can avoid, but we’ll see.

Coco killing his mother because he thought she hurt Leti just kind of fell off towards the end of the season there. I’m hoping they give us more of that relationship. Coco still needs to know that his mother didn’t actually hurt her. She wasn’t fantastic towards her, but she didn’t lay her hands on her that time.

I want Angel and Adelita to be the power couple to end all power couples. Towards the end of the season, Adelita was ready to move forward in her relationship with Angel, but he was too self-loathing. He’s not in a good headspace right now. I really hope that these two kids make it. They have a dynamite chemistry.

I want Emily and EZ to stay away from each other. I find them boring, honestly. I know these two characters know each other really well because they used to date and be so close. I wouldn’t be opposed to a solid friendship between these two, but I hope they stay away from a romantic relationship. One thing that annoyed me about the Sons of Anarchy world was all the cheating. That’s the last thing I want Emily to do. While I despised one scene in particular between Miguel and Emily, I don’t want her to make a mistake that could cost her her life, in one way or another. Miguel’s been good to her. They have a family together. They have had happy times together and there will be more…if Emily and EZ just stop.

I’m excited to see Miguel and Adelita team up. Their scenes have been just as electric as the scenes between Angel and Adelita, but a different kind of electric? I could see them being king and queen of the underground, on opposite sides of the border.

I’m hoping we get a better timeline of Happy’s involvement in Mama Reyes’ death. I’m interested in to what capacity Sutter will have Happy in next season. He wasn’t one of my favorite Sons, but he was a staple in the series.

I’m beyond excited to see what Marcus will be doing for Galindo. He took his cut off. He’s no longer El Padrino. I thought that meant that Emilio was done with the series and I am thrilled that is not the case. He’ll either be an advisor to Miguel or his head of security. I think he’d make a great advisor, but I’ll take Marcus in any way Sutter gives him to us.

This season was filled with action and drama. It’s everything that I love from the MC world that Sutter has built. There are a few things I wish would’ve been different, but overall I loved this season and I’m looking forward to many more. I also really enjoyed the fact that it wasn’t just Kurt Sutter. Sutter is a white man. He knows nothing of the struggles depicted from the men in this series, so he had help. This was a series co-created by Elgin James and co-executive produced by Norberto Barba. Another fact was even the actors needed guidance. Emilio Rivera revealed at Rhode Island Comic Con this year (to which I had the pleasure of being in attendance) that all the guys have different backgrounds from Latin America. They’d all give each other tips on pronunciations and such. I loved the fact that half this show was in Spanish because that’s part of what makes this series much more real. These are Spanish-speaking characters and it was fantastic that there were English subtitles.  

Send us some of your thoughts, hopes, and dreams for next season!  What parts of this season did you really enjoy?

Mayans MC will return to FX in 2019.      

[asroarke]

Those of you who follow my shenanigans regularly already know that I hit one million words on ao3 last night. Today, I’m kicking off my celebration by highlighting every single one of those one million words as I shamelessly self promote all 24 works that got me to this number.

Matched

“If this ends badly, I blame you.”

“I got you onto one of the most popular dating shows on TV where they basically guarantee that they’ll find your soulmate. If this ends badly, it’s on you, sweetheart,” her mom snapped back with a smile.

Reality Show AU where everyone has a perfect match in the house and if everyone finds their perfect match by the end, they win one million dollars.

Rated: M | Chapters: 18/18 | Words: 78,309

Mismatched

“This has to be some kind of mistake,” Clarke whispered, knowing what happens if you’re a perfect match on this show. They were going to have to pack up and move into the honeymoon suite… together. She would have to spend eight weeks trapped in a hotel room with Bellamy.

“We hate each other,” Bellamy whispered, not taking his eyes off the screen, as his face was covered in disbelief.

An alternative version of Matched where Bellamy and Clarke find out they’re a perfect match toward the beginning of the competition.

Rated: E | Chapters: 1/1 | Words: 27,032

Medici Magic

“Are we really going to do this again this summer?”

“Are you referring to me giving you legitimate critiques and you not being able to handle it correctly? Because if so, I really hope not. I would have hoped that we had evolved past that kind of pettiness,” he joked.

Renaissance Fair AU where our favorite delinquents spend their summer working for Medici Magic, a traveling renaissance fair.

Rated: E | Chapters: 33/33 | Words: 90,249

Wrecked

She looked out into the water, wondering where Wells’  lifeboat was, and if everyone else had gotten to safety in time. She wondered if the crew radioed for help before they jumped onto the lifeboat.

And she wondered if she was going to die on this lifeboat.

Deserted Island AU where deadly storms and dangerous wildlife were the least of their problems.

Rated: E | Chapters: 20/20 | Words: 91,319

I’m Gonna Leave You Anyway

“Why did you come over here?”

“To make sure, you know, that you know last night was just a one-time thing,” he said, looking down at his hands as he spoke.

“Message received. You can go back to your friends now,” she said, with a strange expression on her face.

Modern AU inspired by the show You’re the Worst, where Bellamy and Clarke hook up after a wedding.

Rated: E | Chapters: 11/11 | Words: 65,537

I’m Gonna Watch You Walk Away

She forgot about the fact that a man she loved just married someone else. She forgot that almost all her friends abandoned her as soon as she became known as the other woman. She forgot that people already judged her without ever meeting her. She forgot that she was in a place in life where she had to go to weddings all alone. And she willfully ignored the fact that it was becoming harder and harder for her to just hook up with someone to forget these things.

Because, as soon as it was over, all those horrible thoughts started drowning Clarke’s brain again.

Modern AU inspired by the show You’re the Worst, where Bellamy and Clarke hook up after wedding. Same story line from I’m Gonna Leave You Anyway, but this time from Clarke’s POV.

Rated: E | Chapters: 11/11 | Words: 64,519

We Can Do Better Than This

“And if we couldn’t find an apartment, maybe we could look at a house. You know, then Cleo could have a backyard,” Bellamy replied.

“A house?” Clarke asked, and Bellamy glanced back down at her, seeing a nervous expression on her face. He immediately recognized his mistake.

A follow up to I’m Gonna Leave You Anyway, where Bellamy and Clarke buy their first house.

Rated: T | Chapters: 1/1 | Words: 4,881

I’m Gonna Love You Anyway

“You were a one-night stand.”

“You and I bought a house together, Clarke. If I was supposed to be a one-night stand, you really messed that one up,” he teased, before leaning down to kiss her forehead.

She giggled, before resting her head on his shoulder. It was kind of crazy to think about the day they met. It was weird, thinking that if she had gotten what she wanted back then, she would have hooked up with him once and never seen him again. She was really glad she didn’t get what she wanted. Instead, she got what she needed.

A follow up to I’m Gonna Leave You Anyway, where Bellamy is trying to propose to Clarke, but she’s too busy roasting him to notice.

Rated: T | Chapters: 1/1 | Words: 6,595

No Longer Just Us

“Princess, Octavia and Lincoln are here,” he announced.

“Why?” she grumbled, and Bellamy threw his head back. Of course, Clarke forgot. This had become an all too common occurrence these days.

“We are wine tasting for the wedding, remember?” Bellamy reminded her, and Clarke sat up with a grumpy expression on her face, her hair messy from bedhead. She had come home from work two hours ago, a bit sleep deprived since one of her patients went into labor in the middle of the night. She immediately went upstairs to take a nap, after Bellamy reminded her for the hundredth time that Lincoln and Octavia were coming over.

“I already took my bra off,” she whined, throwing her head back.

Another follow up to I’m Gonna Leave You Anyway where Bellamy and Clarke are completely over the wedding planning nonsense and get very drunk.

Rated: T | Chapters: 1/1 | Words: 2,855

Double Infinity

They were running out of time. Eighteen years had already passed. All the pieces they needed to get the job done were finally in place. And, when Wells didn’t fit, they found Clarke. He was too close to let it all fall apart now.

And he would do everything he could to make sure she walked out of this unscathed.

Modern AU inspired by Revenge, where Bellamy and Octavia are willing to do whatever it takes to find justice for their mother’s murder, even if it means using Clarke Griffin.

Rated: E | Chapters: 23/23 | Words: 142,705

Hidden Infinity

"You played me too, Clarke,” Bellamy snapped, and she didn’t hesitate to slap him across the face. He gripped her wrist tightly, shooting her a warning look… practically daring her to try that again. “You knew what I was doing, and instead of confronting me, you let me think I was succeeding. When I said I loved you, you said it back. When I proposed, you said yes. You had an active part in all of this,” he growled as if somehow what Clarke did to him could ever compare to what he did to her.

“But you played me first,” Clarke yelled, pushing him back. Bellamy lied to her first. Bellamy used her first. Clarke didn’t start this, but she was determined to finish it.

Double Infinity, but from Clarke’s POV. A Modern AU inspired by Revenge, where Clarke Griffin swore that she would stay out of the plan to avenge Mt. Weather, but got dragged into it anyway.

Rated: E | Chapters: 11/23 | Words: 58,914

Something Always Survives

Bellamy had been trapped in this place for over two years. He can’t even count how many cellmates he lost over that time, how many times he had to meet a new voice from a person he would never see… And, almost every time, he found himself telling them a story to help calm them down, to reassure them that everything was going to be okay, even when he knew it would never be okay. Clarke had been no different than the others until this moment.

She was the first one to ever try to comfort him in return. So, he whispered, “Okay,” and pressed his ear to the corner.

Modern AU loosely inspired by The OA where Clarke finds herself abducted and caged with four strangers as they all struggle to make sense of their captor’s experiments.

Rated: E | Chapters: 18/18 | Words: 74,232

50 First Proposals

“Tell her we got engaged just so we could get some cheesecake,” he smirked, and accepting the challenge, Clarke pulled out her phone and started typing away.

After that night, it just became a thing they did. Every month or so… really, whenever both of their crazy lives let them grab dinner between shifts, they would go to a new restaurant and Bellamy would fake propose. He got a little more carried away each time. Their fake proposals became an opportunity for Bellamy to unleash some of his most pent up affections for Clarke… an opportunity he desperately needed.

OR the forty-nine times Bellamy proposed to Clarke to get free dessert and the one time he didn’t care about the dessert.

Rated: T | Chapters: 1/1 | Words: 2,723

Will You Tie My Shoe?

“I know, it’s silly. And I never thought I’d actually see you again, or that Madi would recognize you. She’s also convinced that she is some kind of matchmaker because she set my friends Raven and Wells up,” she rambled, looking at him with an embarrassed expression on his face.

“Is your daughter some kind of matchmaker?” he teased, and Clarke bit her lip, chuckling slightly. He liked the way her smile kept escaping even though she was trying to play it cool.

“Well, unless you fall madly in love with me, she only has a 50% success rate,” she joked, and Bellamy threw his head back in laughter.

OR the one where Madi decides to play matchmaker, and Bellamy and Clarke are totally fine with the results.

Rated: G | Chapters: 1/1 | Words: 3,905

Sometimes Lightning Strikes Twice

It was ridiculous. He didn’t even know this girl’s name. All he knew was that she was pretty, that she was trying her best to be a good sport about being here probably just so her friends had fun, and that she was maybe a little bit shy. Well, and he also knew that every time she looked at him he got flustered and repeatedly messed up the blocking.

It was official. Bellamy Blake, part-time stripper and full-time overthinker, developed a crush on some blonde bride.

OR the Strip Club AU no one asked for, where Bellamy meets Clarke Griffin while working her bachelorette party, and the poor guy doesn’t have the first clue about what to do about it.

Rated: M | Chapters: 1/1 | Words: 2,557

Sounds Fake But Okay

“Babe, don’t be jealous,” Clarke teased, reaching her hand out. Murphy grabbed it and started swinging it as he laughed.

“Can’t help it, babe. Just love you so much,” Murphy said, still chuckling.

“You two better be able to keep a straight face when Ontari gets here, or else all of us suffered through this for nothing,” Bellamy reminded, and Clarke erupted into laughter, burying her face into Bellamy’s shoulder.

OR the fake dating fic no one asked for, where Murphy pretends to be dating Clarke, and Bellamy is fine with it. Totally fine. Does not care at all. Maybe.

Rated: T | Chapters: 1/1 | Words: 4,766

Fatal Innocence

“I’ll be fine,” she muttered, shaking her head as she opened the front door. And, there the body was, right where it fell. The others rushed in behind her. Raven took the trophy toward the kitchen, probably to wash it off. Monty and Bellamy moved toward the body, and she could see that Bellamy was thinking about using the rug to wrap him up in.

There was no way in hell that all five of them were going to get away with this.

The How to Get Away with Murder AU where they all become interns for Professor Kane, not expecting their semester to take such a deadly turn.

Rated: E | Chapters: 25/25 | Words: 184,868

Don’t Marry Him

Bellamy tried to be as supportive of a friend as he could be, reserving his own frustrations toward Finn for when he, Murphy, and Miller went out for drinks. Usually, those evenings divulged into Murphy pointing out that Finn probably isn’t as bad as Bellamy makes him out to be. Then, Bellamy would break down item by item every terrible thing he has said or done to hurt Clarke. To which, Miller would always tease him… saying that it was strange that Bellamy could list all that off so readily when Clarke was just his best friend.

Bellamy knew what they were implying, of course. And it was to the point that Bellamy stopped trying to deny it. It wouldn’t do him any good to deny it, anyway. Everyone knew how Bellamy felt. Well, everyone except Clarke, apparently.

Modern AU where Clarke was hoping that Bellamy would be excited about her engagement, and instead, he begs her not to marry Finn.

Rated: T | Chapters: 1/1 | Words: 5,291

Forget Me Not

“Am I Clarke?” Clarke asked, and Bellamy’s fear was confirmed. Clarke didn’t remember them. She didn’t recognize any of them, not even Madi. She didn’t even know that she was Clarke. He could feel Madi tugging nervously on his sleeve, and he turned to look at her scared face.

“It’s called amnesia,” Bellamy whispered, and Madi’s head tilted in confusion. “Sometimes when people hit their head really hard they lose their memories.”

Post Season Four reunion fic where Bellamy finally finds Clarke… but she doesn’t remember who he is.

Rated: T | Chapters: 1/1 | Words: 8,684

Off Guard

“You have to figure out your opponent’s weakness if you want to beat them,” he added in, and Clarke cocked her head to the side. He could see the gears turning in that head of hers as she stepped toward him. “Unfortunately for you, I have no weaknesses,” he joked, and a giggle escaped her lips.

“So, there is absolutely nothing I can do that would catch you off guard?” she asked curiously, and Bellamy cocked his head to the side… trying to figure out what was going through Clarke’s head.

“You are more than welcome to try,” he chuckled, earning a smirk from Clarke.

Royalty AU where Bellamy tries to teach Clarke how to use a sword, and she finds her own sneaky way to beat him.

Rated: G | Chapters: 1/1 | Words: 2,548

Whisper Your Love and I’ll Whisper Mine

“I am not happy about this either, by the way,” he sighed, recalling the horrified look on her face when she realized what the Commander was proposing. Bellamy had never planned on getting married. Octavia was enough of a responsibility. But when he debated the idea of marriage, he certainly never pictured his future fiancée would have such a disgusted reaction. Nor did he ever picture himself marrying a child of his family’s sworn enemy.

Clarke glanced up at him, wiping away a few tears. “We should have never let them marry,” was all she said, and the guilt formed a knot in Bellamy’s stomach.

A historical AU inspired by Still Star-Crossed where Bellamy and Clarke are forced into an arranged marriage in an attempt keep their families from going to war.

Rated: E | Chapters: 8/8 | Words: 47,895

Listen to Your Heart

His lips lingered against her skin for just a moment too long, and Clarke noticed that his hug was even tighter than it normally was. She kept reminding herself that this was the Olympics… and that’s all this meant for him, although she could no longer deny that her feelings toward Bellamy were strictly platonic.

“So damn proud of you, Princess,” Bellamy said seriously, his hand still resting on her back as he spoke. Before Clarke could say anything else, Kane was pulling her into a hug and whispering his congratulations.

Olympics AU where Clarke realizes that her feelings for Bellamy might be less than platonic… which is a problem since he’s her coach.

Rated: T | Chapters: 1/1 | Words: 8,609

Love Is Not a Victory March

“You could have been here four years ago,” she reminded, raising her eyebrows at him.

“No, I couldn’t have. I needed to be here with you,” he replied, and Clarke felt like the breath had been knocked out of her. It wasn’t the first time he said something like that, of course. But it caught her off guard every damn time.

“Was it worth the wait?”

“Yes, you were,” he replied, and how could Clarke not kiss him after that?

Olympics AU where a knee injury kept Bellamy and Clarke from making it to the Olympics… the first time around.

Rated: T | Chapters: 1/1 | Words: 9,214

Lie to Me

Long before he met Gina, he decided that this name didn’t mean anything. That he had a choice in this, and that he would likely choose to ignore the universe’s choice for him. After all, there were many people who went their whole happy lives without finding the person whose name showed up when they turned eighteen.

He kept his eyes on his watch, counting down the seconds until it would appear. As soon as both hands hit twelve, he flipped his wrist over. But he wasn’t lucky enough to get some stranger’s name. He knew exactly who his soulmate was.

If Bellamy needed any more evidence that soulmates were bullshit, it was right there in front of him.

Soulmate AU where Bellamy finds out Clarke is his soulmate and doesn’t tell her.

Rated: T | Chapters: 1/1 | Words: 13,880

[junker-town]

Devin Booker was a textbook type of All-Star snub

Devin Booker should have been an All-Star in 2020.

When a player has a reputation, it often takes more than half a season to shed it. Luckily, an injury gave Booker the honor he deserved.

Devin Booker has a rep, and it’s the worst kind a prospective NBA star can have. He’s often seen as a no-defense, shot-jacking, empty-stat-hunting young player who cares more about his own numbers than actually trying to win.

The Suns’ abysmal record during Booker’s tenure is evidence enough for some, but his negative image is built on more than just the standings. His 70-point performance in a double-digit loss to Boston in 2017 was met with derision instead of appreciation by his opponents. More recently, he was widely mocked when an offseason training video showed him complaining about being double teamed during a pickup game.

I’m not here to adjudicate that past. But if the purpose of the All-Star Game is to reward the 12 best players in each conference this season irrespective of prior ones, it was wrong to initially leave Booker off the team. At least Damian Lillard’s last-minute injury allowed the NBA to rectify that wrong and name Booker as an injury replacement.

Phoenix’s Devin Booker has been selected to replace Damian Lillard in the 2020 NBA All-Star Game.

— Shams Charania (@ShamsCharania) February 13, 2020

The fact that he wasn’t initially named a reserve, though, shows me that new facts often race ahead of a player’s larger story. Booker was punished for transgressions that occurred outside the statute of limitations. He may be rewarded later in his career when he should’ve been rewarded now, but he shouldn’t need that make-up call.

This year’s Devin Booker does not resemble the rep he’s been given in the past

Let’s be clear: missing out on the NBA’s midseason classic would not have been a grave injustice. To put it in perspective, we’re talking about the difference between the 12th- and 13th-best player in a conference in any given season. Attaching the general manager’s name on an official statement of condemnation did little more than give Booker and a few select fans the briefest of dopamine hits. (The same point applies double to Bradley Beal, whose surrogates are working overtime after he was left off the East team). Injury replacements happen all the time, and history won’t remember the difference.

That said, this year’s Devin Booker does not resemble the rep he’s been given in the past. He’s dramatically upped his scoring efficiency while taking more shots near the basket and wedging his way to the free-throw line. Phoenix’s offense drops from a potent 113.6 points per 100 possessions to a ghastly 100.8 when he goes to the bench, one of the widest swings in the league. His moves are more purposeful, he’s dribbling aimlessly less often, and he’s appropriately wedging his prodigious scoring ability into a larger Phoenix structure despite not having much supplementary floor spacing around him.

He’s still not a great defender, but has put in much more effort on that end than in years past.

And while the Suns still aren’t a playoff team, they have displayed enough core competency to keep themselves in the mix despite numerous injuries and DeAndre Ayton’s 25-game drug suspension. They aren’t world-beaters, but Booker has elevated them to a meaningfully higher level than he did in past years.

That wasn’t enough to initially sway West coaches, who valued winning (Donovan Mitchell) and name recognition (Russell Westbrook, Chris Paul) for the final three pre-Lillard injury guard spots. Reasonable minds can split hairs between these four excellent players, but the fact that Booker was the one who fell short underscores one unfortunate reality of selecting the league’s best players halfway through a single season. A process designed to stay within a narrow context instead encompasses a much larger period of time that punishes some players for perceived past sins and overly rewards others for incumbency.

Because of that, Booker’s meaningful improvements this season were not given the respect they deserve. Consider one key indicator of empty-stat production: ball hoggery. The more one player has the ball, the less others have it, and thus the more they can put up numbers that benefit themselves while sidelining everyone else.

Booker’s ball-hoggery metrics have changed dramatically this season. Last year, more than 54 percent of his shots came after he took more than three dribbles, and nearly 24 percent came after he pounded the rock more than six times. This season, those numbers are down to 45 percent and 16 percent, respectively. His average touch time has dropped from 4.76 seconds — a top-10 mark among players 6’4 and taller — to 4.1 seconds. Less than 20 percent of his shot attempts come after holding the ball for at least six seconds, compared to nearly 29 percent last season.

Adding a real point guard in Ricky Rubio has taken ball-handling pressure off Booker, and new coach Monty Williams’ Flex offense also takes more advantage of Booker’s size on quick post duck-ins than previous systems. He gets many more hoops like this than he ever did in the past.

But Booker himself has also become more efficient in his movements. He is much stronger powering to the basket, requiring less dancing back and forth to get his man out of position. There’s a reason his shooting efficiency is rising to elite levels despite a drop in three-point attempts.

The great irony of Double-Team Gate is that Booker has also become a master at reading traps and making productive passes out of them.

Though his overall assist numbers are flat, the passes he does make are leading to many more assisted hoops than the ones he made last season. His secondary assists — passes that lead to the assist — are up, as are his assist chances and the total points per game his teammates get off his assists. We’ve also seen many more dishes like this that don’t show up in any form of a box score, but are invaluable in triggering the collective ball movement that makes everyone feel more involved in the play.

There’s still room for Booker to improve in these areas, as there is with his defensive effort. But the idea that Booker deserved to miss the All-Star Game because his prodigious numbers were emptier than his peers this season doesn’t pass the muster once you dig deeper. And by the way, those numbers are prodigious.

Devin Booker is the first player in NBA history to average at least 27 points and 6 assists on 60% TS and miss the All-Star game. But don't worry. He's coming for that All-NBA slot...

— Wam Wooper (@scooperhoops) January 30, 2020

Mitchell, Paul, and Westbrook all collected more wins, but only Paul approaches Booker’s singular importance to his team, and Paul isn’t producing at Booker’s individual level. The Jazz still marginally outscore opponents with Mitchell on the bench, while the Rockets outscore opponents by more points per 100 possessions with Westbrook on the bench. (That gap is shrinking, but it still exists). Booker also is putting up better and more meaningful numbers than Brandon Ingram, who is starring on a worse team that relies on him less than the Suns rely on Booker. (It’s unclear if positional designation mattered for All-Star reserve selections. If so, Ingram wasn’t directly competing for a spot with Booker).

Booker’s profile is comparable in rough strokes to a similar snub in Beal, but a deeper look shows that Beal is scoring less efficiently while playing worse defense and making (at least statistically) a less significant individual impact on a worse team. If you think Beal belonged over Kyle Lowry, I won’t argue with you, but Booker’s All-Star case is much more airtight if we’re just considering this season.

And therein lies the rub. All-Star selections are never just about this season in practice even though they’re designed that way in theory. They represent status and legacy, not to mention financial reward in some cases. One-time appearances by non-star players are routinely mocked in hindsight, even though the honor is supposed to only measure a player’s success in the first 60ish percent of that season. The nature of the game itself even becomes a factor: a more subtle artist like Rudy Gobert will look like a fish out of water even though he’s been one of the 12 most valuable players in the West for years now. The convoluted selection process has smoothed over some obvious biases, but it’s also created a voting body that measures value in too many different ways for the entire process to feel coherent.

When all that happens, conservatism tends to win the day. It takes more than half a season to convince most of us that a player has changed, for better or for worse. That’s a sensible approach if the goal of the All-Star Game is to reflect the best players in the NBA independent of time. If it’s any consolation to Booker, chances are he’ll make up the All-Star appearance he initially missed this year with a reputational selection later in his career.

But in literal terms, the goal of the All-Star Game is to recognize the 12 best seasons to date in each conference. Otherwise, why name new All-Stars each year? And by that measure, it was unfathomable not to initially include Devin Booker this year.

[amiyahsoul]

Skype Call 💻: Mercedes & Otis Jones

INVOLVED: Mercedes Jones & Otis Jones TIME FRAME: Wednesday April 11th, 2017. LOCATION: Mercedes Condo . L. A. NOTES: As Mercedes attempts to bury herself in idle prep for the baby’s arrival she has a surprise Skype call with her father. 

Mercedes hummed along with the music that filled the room.  She was in a cleaning frenzy. The bathroom sparkled and the beds in her condo had fresh, crisp, clean linens. Now she was freshening the kitchen. Her hand circled across the counter wiping down the surface. The house wasn’t messy, just a little dusty from being left vacant for so long.  She blew slightly, starting to get tired. Her exertion was to be expected, but she still wanted to shop for a few extras before heading home for the day. Her hand went to the small of her back, as she was startled by the Skype chime. Seeing Her father's face pop up she rushed to answered the call. as quickly as her short legs could carry her.  She answered the called. Then squinted as a huge teddy bear dominated the computer screen. “Hello, I’m teddy the bear. And I can’t wait to meet my new friend!.” Mercedes snorted, staring at the screen.  “Daddy, that bear is huge. That thing will only scare the baby.”

Otis’ head popped out from behind the bear, huge grin on his face. “You have no proof that it will scare her. She’s going to love it and name him Otis. -I’m having him shipped tomorrow. Your mother would kill me if I tried to bring him on the plane.” He hefted the huge bear moving him off screen.  “Speaking of… tell me you’re having a contraction. Something." He said rubbing his hands together. "I’m excited. A new little girl to spoil and this time I get to do it right.”

Mercedes shook her head. “And she’d be right that thing is ridiculous.” She chuckled, “Sorry," She sung out, "but since last week, I’ve only had some pain but nothing significant enough to go back to the hospital.  She’ll come when she's ready." She smiled.

“Don’t talk about O like that. I know he’s huge but this is my first grandchild.  I am shooting for completely rotten.” Otis raised his eyebrow. “Have you been walking.  It’s what they made your mother do when she was in hospital having you guys.”

“The fact that you have already named him. -DADDY.” She laughed, holding her stomach as she did so. “So you are going to spoil her and leave me with a bratty child. No sir, that is out of the question.” She shook her head no, “Not as much as I should. But she is coming, of that I have no doubt.”

“Spoil completely... Yes, it will happen. It’s my prerogative as a grandparent.  Listen, Mercedes I'm going to give you and her till the end of the week, then I am going to come to L.A. and just wait it out.”  Otis moved closer to the screen. “Umm, Baby…  Why are you in your condo.”

Mercedes raised her hands, “Go right ahead and spoil away. A few days of grandparent over kill shouldn’t do too much damage.” She looked around, the space. “I was cleaning it up for you and mom. I thought you might want more privacy when you’re here.”

Otis smile faltered, “Mhm… well if you want us to stay there we can…” Otis leaned back in his chair staring at his daughter. Since her engagement party this young woman had been on cloud 100 and now her expression was different. “What’s wrong? And before you give me the nothing is wrong cover up, remember I know you better than you know yourself. Even now…”

“Don’t sound like that that. You don’t have to stay here it’s only a suggestion.”  Mercedes shrugged his words off “but there is nothing wrong with me, Da…”

“Bup.. bup.. bup …”  Otis cut across Mercedes. “Don’t hand me that landfill of lies.  You have been a hundred watt bulb for literally months. Now you look like someone snatched all the cheer from you. WHAT IS WRONG?

“I don’t want to talk about it… so can we just leave it. I’m fine, the baby is fine. That’s the focus right now. When she comes and i’m not a human incubator, then I’ll deal with what’s bothering me. It’s private dad. So just leave it.”

Otis sighed, and leaned back in his chair.  “I remember when you lost that little bald headed doll you had as a girl. You stood there with your little arms folded and told me you were fine. But for a week, you barely smiled, and went to bed early and whimpered in your sleep.  Baby girl, you weren’t fine then and you are not fine now.”

Mercedes smiled softly at her father’s little story. “And what did Mom, do to pull me out of my funk?” She asked. She didn’t remember this story at all and was curious.

“Your Mama?” Otis snapped back, shaking his head. “I’ll have you know.  I am a capable parent.  No matter what you and your sister seem to think. “  He told her pointedly. “I took you for ice cream. Double fudge chocolate chip.” he said accenting each word as he went.  “I got you on a sugar high, then took you to the park… I went down the slide with you just the way you used to do with that bald headed doll… What was her name, anyway.” He thought crossing his arms eyes wandering to the ceiling.

“And that worked I talked to you after that?” Mercedes chuckled. “I was a cheap  date.” She grinned.  

“You are my stubborn baby.  Who always takes everyone of your short falls and coming, on yourself. You bottle it all up so tight, trying to figure it out, on your own.  I’ve never understood why you do that. Family is about support. But no one can help you if you don’t open yourself too it.  And the truly messed up part is you want someone to care enough to ask how you feel, while at the same time pushing everyone away.  You were one hell of a maddening teenager I tell you.” Otis told her.

“I’m not a little kid anymore dad.  Aren’t I supposed to figure things out for myself. In less than 15 minutes I’m going to have a baby of my own. I can’t depend on you or mom to order my steps for me.”  Mercedes countered.

Otis snorted, “You and your sister are lucky Mercedes.  You have me and your mother to talk to. You don’t need us to tell you what to do.  Hell, you don't listen anyway, but talking isn’t making a decision, it’s sorting out how you feel.”

Mercedes rubbed her hands over her face. “Not this… Not now. You’ll never understand it will taint my daughter's birth. I don’t want that. I want everything to be perfect when she comes. Not people side eyeing each other. And definitely not your renewed hatred of Sam.”

Otis nodded, “Mhm…” He rubbed his hand down his face and groaned.  “Mercedes I know when I have been defeated.  Now I can kick and scream for days, but you ain’t going to be done with Samuel Evans, especially now.” he said pointing to her stomach. “Until the throw dirt in one of your faces. “As long as he isn’t laying hands on you,” he shrugged. “I’m fine.”

Mercedes wiped at her face, determined to hold herself together. “No, he’d never do anything like that. He’d never hurt his baby…  I’m just kidding. She sniffed. “It’s so much happening in such a short period of time.  I can’t get my footing.” Finally breaking down. “I’ve created a mess. Now I have to live with it.”

“What the hell are you talking about? Leaving that man when you were younger? Mercedes, you have GOT to forgive yourself for that. There was nothing wrong with you deciding not to get married. Do you truly think, that single solitary action created all this.  I don’t know what’s going on NOW  but, I assure you all this is not your fault.” Otis sighed. “I will say this, it was a bad idea not to just leave that man alone.”  He closed his eyes, blocking the protest he knew was about to come, “Nope, hold up. I’m not saying you couldn’t have found your way back to him, but you muddy the water because you didn’t let go. Completely. So now you don’t know if what you are seeing from him now is real, or fake or whatever. Unfortunately, for you, the only person who knows for sure is HIM. And the only way for you to find out  is through time.” He stopped and rubbed the side of his eyes.  “Time I wish you two fools had taken before my grandchild. Or getting engaged for that matter. You needed to feel secure in his changes and him in yours.

Mercedes listen to her father layout her pitfalls. Each lash a whip of truth that that highlighted her real pain. “I know… I just don’t know what to do now. But wasn’t it you who always said a little bit will tell you what a whole lot means? It’s been more than a little bit. And now..." She lowered her face, not wanting to see his I told you so expression. “He already has a son.” She cried “From the woman right before me.”

Otis blinked, and all he could do was shake his head for his child. His poor foolish child. “You still half protecting him so I assume, this child was conceived before you and he were official.”

Mercedes just looked at her father. Even pregnant these types  “Yes, He didn't cheat or anything. but, I… I just… I’ve always wanted what you and mom have and now.” She button her lip and dropped her head again.

Otis thought about explaining his past to his child, all of it. But this wasn’t the time, she was going to have to decide if she loved Samuel enough to stay on her own. That was the only way. It was only luck that kept this situation with Samuel from being himself. But even then building what him and his wife had was hard work. Very hard work. “So… You’re upset there is a living reminder.  I’m sorry baby girl.  This is a less than ideal situation.” He told her, pinching  the bridge of his nose.  “Oh Mercedes.”

“We were building it. Since I’ve been pregnant he has been perfect. I couldn’t ask for anything more or better. He was actually getting on my nerves, he barely left the house.  Then the other day, he just up and left. -Stayed out all night and then he told me about being stress by work, and needing a pacemaker. I was upset he just didn't tell me...  And then he told the rest. Why couldn’t he be more careful. I was.”

Otis could kill Mercedes for not listening to him the hundreds of times he’d tried to steer her towards other men. He held his breath. No father wanted to be in this position. To have to brake his own child's heart.  “He tried to bury that information didn't he." he sighed "You know why.” He said simply. “You made a choice months ago. And up until that little party that young man through for you, I was skeptical. But I don’t think any man would go through all that for some one he doesn’t care deeply for.”   

“It just makes me question everything.  I’m I being a fool, dad? I hurt because, I’m not the only mother of his children.. Because I believed that if I could come home and he’d be there, that I was most important.  You know the other day, he told me how hard he tried to replace me. It’s like I’ve heard the words and been looking at the evidence for so long… What if I am being a fool for  continuing to do so?” Mercedes covered her eyes, wiping at her face. “Am I going to teach my baby to be a fool too.”

“Baby, I don’t know.” Otis full lips pressed together, and he looked back up to the display. “Now you want this guarantee?  With him?” He chuckled. “I think you know better then that. Forgive yourself Mercedes for the past. Once you do you’ll be able to make better choices for your future.  And remember that not even your mother and I have a perfect relationship. And as hard as it is to believe. Even if you had married Sam years ago, It would have never been easy. No matter what you want believe. Just think about it. I love you baby girl no matter what you decide.”

[junker-town]

Devin Booker is a textbook type of All-Star snub

Devin Booker should have been an All-Star in 2020.

When a player has a reputation, it often takes more than half a season to shed it. That has unfortunate consequences.

Devin Booker has a rep, and it’s the worst kind a prospective NBA star can have. He’s often seen as a no-defense, shot-jacking, empty-stat-hunting young player who cares more about his own numbers than actually trying to win.

The Suns’ abysmal record during Booker’s tenure is evidence enough for some, but his negative image is built on more than just the standings. His 70-point performance in a double-digit loss to Boston in 2017 was met with derision instead of appreciation by his opponents. More recently, he was widely mocked when an offseason training video showed him complaining about being double teamed during a pickup game.

I’m not here to adjudicate that past. But if the purpose of the All-Star Game is to reward the 12 best players in each conference this season irrespective of prior ones, it’s wrong to leave Booker off the team.

The fact that he wasn’t named a reserve shows me that new facts often race ahead of a player’s larger story. Booker was punished for transgressions that occurred outside the statute of limitations. He may be rewarded later in his career when he should’ve been rewarded now, but he shouldn’t need that make-up call.

This year’s Devin Booker does not resemble the rep he’s been given in the past

Let’s be clear: missing out on the NBA’s midseason classic is no grave injustice. To put it in perspective, we’re talking about the difference between the 12th- and 13th-best player in a conference in any given season. Attaching the general manager’s name on an official statement of condemnation does little more than give Booker and a few select fans the briefest of dopamine hits. (The same point applies double to Bradley Beal, whose surrogates are working overtime after he was left off the East team). Booker could easily make the team anyway as an injury replacement.

That said, this year’s Devin Booker does not resemble the rep he’s been given in the past. He’s dramatically upped his scoring efficiency while taking more shots near the basket and wedging his way to the free-throw line. Phoenix’s offense drops from a potent 113.8 points per 100 possessions to a ghastly 98.6 when he goes to the bench, one of the widest swings in the league. His moves are more purposeful, he’s dribbling aimlessly less often, and he’s appropriately wedging his prodigious scoring ability into a larger Phoenix structure despite not having much supplementary floor spacing around him.

He’s still not a great defender, but has put in much more effort on that end than in years past.

And while the Suns still aren’t a playoff team, they have displayed enough core competency to keep themselves in the mix despite numerous injuries and DeAndre Ayton’s 25-game drug suspension. (They’re actually 8-8 since Ayton returned, with wins over Dallas and Boston). They aren’t world-beaters, but Booker has elevated them to a meaningfully higher level than he did in past years.

That wasn’t enough to sway West coaches, who valued winning (Donovan Mitchell) and name recognition (Russell Westbrook, Chris Paul) for the final three guard spots. Reasonable minds can split hairs between these four excellent players, but the fact that Booker was the one who fell short underscores one unfortunate reality of selecting the league’s best players halfway through a single season. A process designed to stay within a narrow context instead encompasses a much larger period of time that punishes some players for perceived past sins and overly rewards others for incumbency.

Because of that, Booker’s meaningful improvements this season have not been given the respect they deserve. Consider one key indicator of empty-stat production: ball hoggery. The more one player has the ball, the less others have it, and thus the more they can put up numbers that benefit themselves while sidelining everyone else.

Booker’s ball-hoggery metrics have changed dramatically this season. Last year, more than 54 percent of his shots came after he took more than three dribbles, and nearly 24 percent came after he pounded the rock more than six times. This season, those numbers are down to 44 percent and 15 percent, respectively. His average touch time has dropped from 4.76 seconds — a top-10 mark among players 6’4 and taller — to 4.05 seconds. Less than 20 percent of his shot attempts come after holding the ball for at least six seconds, compared to nearly 29 percent last season.

Adding a real point guard in Ricky Rubio has taken ball-handling pressure off Booker, and new coach Monty Williams’ Flex offense also takes more advantage of Booker’s size on quick post duck-ins than previous systems. He gets many more hoops like this than he ever did in the past.

But Booker himself has also become more efficient in his movements. He is much stronger powering to the basket, requiring less dancing back and forth to get his man out of position. There’s a reason his shooting efficiency is rising to elite levels despite a drop in three-point attempts.

The great irony of Double-Team Gate is that Booker has also become a master at reading traps and making productive passes out of them.

Though his overall assist numbers are flat, the passes he does make are leading to many more assisted hoops than the ones he made last season. His secondary assists — passes that lead to the assist — are up, as are his assist chances and the total points per game his teammates get off his assists. We’ve also seen many more dishes like this that don’t show up in any form of a box score, but are invaluable in triggering the collective ball movement that makes everyone feel more involved in the play.

There’s still room for Booker to improve in these areas, as there is with his defensive effort. But the idea that Booker deserved to miss the All-Star Game because his prodigious numbers were emptier than his peers this season doesn’t pass the muster once you dig deeper. And by the way, those numbers are prodigious.

Devin Booker is the first player in NBA history to average at least 27 points and 6 assists on 60% TS and miss the All-Star game. But don't worry. He's coming for that All-NBA slot...

— Wam Wooper (@scooperhoops) January 30, 2020

Mitchell, Paul, and Westbrook all collected more wins, but only Paul approaches Booker’s singular importance to his team, and Paul isn’t producing at Booker’s individual level. The Jazz still marginally outscore opponents with Mitchell on the bench, while the Rockets outscore opponents by more points per 100 possessions with Westbrook on the bench. (That gap is shrinking, but it still exists). Booker also is putting up better and more meaningful numbers than Brandon Ingram, who is starring on a worse team that relies on him less than the Suns rely on Booker. (It’s unclear if positional designation mattered for All-Star reserve selections. If so, Ingram wasn’t directly competing for a spot with Booker).

Booker’s profile is comparable in rough strokes to a similar snub in Beal, but a deeper look shows that Beal is scoring less efficiently while playing worse defense and making (at least statistically) a less significant individual impact on a worse team. If you think Beal belonged over Kyle Lowry, I won’t argue with you, but Booker’s All-Star case is much more airtight if we’re just considering this season.

And therein lies the rub. All-Star selections are never just about this season in practice even though they’re designed that way in theory. They represent status and legacy, not to mention financial reward in some cases. Onetime appearances by non-star players are routinely mocked in hindsight, even though the honor is supposed to only measure a player’s success in the first 60ish percent of that season. The nature of the game itself even becomes a factor: a more subtle artist like Rudy Gobert will look like a fish out of water even though he’s been one of the 12 most valuable players in the West for years now. The convoluted selection process has smoothed over some obvious biases, but it’s also created a voting body that measures value in too many different ways for the entire process to feel coherent.

When all that happens, conservatism tends to win the day. It takes more than half a season to convince most of us that a player has changed, for better or for worse. That’s a sensible approach if the goal of the All-Star Game is to reflect the best players in the NBA independent of time. If it’s any consolation to Booker, chances are he’ll make up the All-Star appearance he missed this year with a reputational selection later in his career.

But in literal terms, the goal of the All-Star Game is to recognize the 12 best seasons to date in each conference. Otherwise, why name new All-Stars each year? And by that measure, it’s unfathomable not to include Devin Booker this year.