#dreams of an insomniac sitcom au

[sorrel-leaf-vespers]

I return with more Sitcom AU writing. I've been studying up, so I'm much more familiar with the AU now! That being said, looks like Alex is a wanted criminal now-

Alex was tired. They’d been staying up late at night lately to monitor and study Clyde when it was most active. Exhausting work, sure, but fascinating and incredibly fruitful. They’d learned so much about it. What they had learned basically boiled down to Clyde being a larger, spikier, more dangerous cat that could talk. Alex wondered if they could teach it to meow like one.

At the moment, Clyde was sleeping on the foot of Alex’s bed. It was nice and dark in Alex’s room with the new blackout curtains they had installed, which made it an ideal sleeping environment for the Veldigun. It was late in the afternoon, so it was bound to wake soon. Alex was in the kitchen making it a sandwich. They’d been trying to sleep for most of the day, too, but keeping Clyde away from the townsfolk of Eastridge County meant sacrificing catching up on sleep to keep it well-fed.

The thing was, Alex was starting to trust Clyde to a degree. Even on days where Alex was away from home for over 12 hours, Clyde would always stay in the house. Ever since that first incident, that first encounter, no one had died. The Smiling Snatcher was, as far as anyone knew, no longer snatching. That wasn’t to say Alex expected it to be perfectly tame. Clyde was still the equivalent of a wild beast. It still had its own thoughts and compulsions. It was still a killer. Heck, it could very well kill Alex at any moment if it wanted to. Alex fully understood that. Still, they couldn’t help but feel like they were starting to bond with the creature. There was still just one rule. Never touch it. That was how you got sick.

Alex heard something hit the floor in their bedroom. A few moments later, Clyde stalked into the room. “Good evening,” said Alex.

Clyde just rubbed its eye. It was still waking up.

“Friendly reminder that the repairman is coming to look at the lock on my back door in a few days. I’ll be home, but you’ll need to hide and keep quiet if you want to hang around.”

“Mhm…”

“Made you a sandwich, if you want one.”

That got its attention. Alex slid the plate across the counter, and only a few moments later, the sandwich was completely gone. “How’d you sleep?” Alex asked.

“Good enough,” said Clyde. “Do you HAVE to work tomorrow?”

“Yeah. It’s the only way I’ll be able to get to the bottom of whatever is going on. Besides, the better I know the asylum, the better we’ll be able to plan getting Winfrey out.”

Clyde nodded, stretching its long limbs. “Alright…”

There was a sudden knock at the door. Alex and Clyde both jumped. What in the world would someone be doing at the house on a Wednesday afternoon? “Get in the closet,” they whispered to Clyde, who quickly complied. They took a step toward the door, but before they could get any closer, they heard whoever it was speak.

“Mx. Alex Williams? This is the Eastridge County Police. We’ve gotten a tip-off that you may have information on the Eastridge Demon. We’d like to ask you a few questions.”

Alex froze in their tracks. How did they know that they were harboring Clyde?

“The man who tipped us said that you would recognize his name. Does ‘Herbert Lankmann’ sound familiar at all? Said he’s your boss.”

A second officer began talking. “That must mean you work at the asylum. If anyone’s got information on the Eastridge Demon, it’s you.”

Alex felt their heart begin to race.

“Mx. Williams, Mr. Lankmann informed us that we are under full authority to arrest you for treason if you refuse to comply.”

Oh no.

Alex sprinted to their room and began packing a backpack. Clyde poked its head out of the closet, watching concernedly. “What are you doing?” it whispered.

“Getting out of here. They know you’re here. Help me out.”

The packing frenzy began. Extra clothes, hairbrush, hat.

“Mx. Williams, if you don’t answer the door, we will use force.”

Research notebook, spare notebook, pencils.

“Mx. Williams, this is your last warning.”

Some extra food, first aid kit, as much money as they could grab.

Something slammed into the door, shaking the whole house. Alex quickly zipped up the backpack. “Let’s go.”

They ran for the back door and tried the lock. The lock jammed. Something slammed into the door again. Alex heard cracking wood. Oh, that stupid back door. Stupid broken back door! “We’re stuck,” they said in a shaky voice.

A growl welled up in Clyde’s throat. “Not on my watch.”

Alex yelped in surprise as they felt Clyde grab their wrist and pull them into what could only be described as the most violent hug they’d ever experienced. It smashed through the back window, covering Alex’s head to shelter them from the shattering glass, cleared the fence with one leap, and took off running to the tree line. If Alex wasn’t in panic mode, they definitely would have tried to calculate how fast Clyde was moving. It was nothing short of inhuman.

Within seconds, Clyde was carrying Alex up a tree. Alex looked back at the house. They could see officers in the backyard, investigating the broken window and forcing the back door open. Multiple police cars were out front. It looked like some officers were inside, too. Their heart pounded. Their home…

“We need to go farther away,” said Alex. They didn’t want to look at the scene anymore.

“In case they decide to search the forest? Good plan.”

Clyde began hopping from tree to tree, holding Alex in one arm. Alex held back tears. They were terrified. They were a wanted traitor now. Lankmann would stop at nothing to recover them and Clyde.

Clyde finally hopped down to the ground. “We should be far enough away now,” it said. “Want me to let you go?”

That was when it fully clicked for Alex. Clyde had grabbed them. Clyde was… TOUCHING them. Alex began to panic again as they registered a pain in their hand. “Clyde… please say you’re just touching my clothes and not my skin.”

Clyde sucked in a gasp. “Oh…”

Alex looked down at the back of their hand. One of Clyde’s spikes was digging into it.

The shock and terror set in immediately as Alex wrestled free of Clyde’s grip. They’d touched Clyde. They had TOUCHED it. They knew the symptoms of Veldigun sickness well by now. The thought of having to go through that…

“I’m… sorry…” said Clyde, backing up slowly. “I just wanted to help…”

Alex stared at it for a few seconds before sitting down on the ground. “I know. I can’t be mad at you for trying to help me.”

They sat there for another while with their face in their hands. Their whole life had just been turned upside down. No home, hardly any belongings, an enemy of the state, and doomed to catch Veldigun sickness. There was no hope. Or, at least, there wouldn’t have been, if Clyde hadn’t draped an arm over Alex’s shoulder and said, “I have an idea.”

[froggydrawz]

idea for the doai sitcom au

It’s kinda cringy but who gives a fuck

so, Veldigun go into hibernation, right? So what if during the "on the run" arc Clyde does everything it can to not hibernate because it needs to look out for cops and stuff, so it is tired all the time, which results in it being caught off-guard by some Lankmann foundation workers and captured?

what do y’all think about this?

[arkaix]

A big thank you to @witheredallium for letting me draw their shortfic! (click here to read it!)

[smiuffzo]

Selfish.

[cardboardclownery]

[| THANKS FOR THE MEMORIES - THANKS FOR THE MEMORIES|]

(wordless version + talking under the cut!)

HI HI HELLO I LIVE AGAIN!! sorry for the radio silence, gonna try and be active on here again since artfights officially over and ive got a bit more time to spare! not sure how many people are ok with me posting attacks with their characters, so im just gonna be posting backlogged stuff in the meantime as i work on making new neet stuff to look at! -v-

speaking of which- this thing!! this was made as an entry for the sitcom server's invite banner contest and im honored to say that it earmed 2nd place!!!! wowies!!! really REALLY proud of how this turned out so im glad other people like it too :]

[doodle-girl]

Can you believe it guys? Pride month! Just a day away!

[spookmuth]

I’m not dead you guys I promise

[purplechaosguardian]

Au where Alex sometimes feeds the Eastridge Demon a sandwich and so they’re kept off its hitlist so now they not only have to deal with the Foundation, but also have to be the closest thing their weird dog/roommate has to impulse control.

They named him Clyde :)

[tigerarainbowra-blog]

Bath time

[they-thespian666]

Some silly drawings based on some of the comments on this post :3

[dogpastra]

on escaping to simon

[secret-spirit]

Pspspspspsps hey....sitcom community

I've finally done it

[froggydrawz]

THE DOAI SITCOM AU SPOTIFY PLAYLIST IS PUBLIC

[arkaix]

Celebration

Sometimes the real sitcom is the friends we made along the way. Ayyyyyyyyy ∼

That was corny af Imma go hide in the tags now ヘ⁠(⁠￣⁠ω⁠￣⁠ヘ⁠)

[smiuffzo]

veiled

[luxury-nightmare]

guys

GUYS