#drinking an entire pack of mikes hard lemonade by myself and lying on the floor talking to friends about how im scared and pushing myself | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

isabelguerra · 1 year

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i dont have an actual name for it but depressed college au is probably one of my favorites. i dont really care for the adults in paranatural and thinking about how the activity club/others might grow up and continue their lives is so much more interesting to me

#i started reading this comic when i was 15? i think? and now im recently 23. i cant really say i relate or want to relate to 12 year olds an #y more. and yeah i prefer a lot more nuance and complexity when crafting+ reading stories #but when your protags are 12. well. yeah pass #pnats adults are fine but the kids are the ones i have any actual emotional interest or compulsion towards #so when i write something that might be less 'yippee whimsical wacky adventures' and the options are spender and zarei. again theyre fine bu #t i dont really care enough about spender and zarei #but i still want to write about adults you know. BEING 12 was hard enough you could not PAY me to go back into that headspace #honestly thats actually why most of wizard au takes place in their later school years #like you know those aged up mob psycho 100 aus. where mob is like a fireman and ritsu is an english major and theyre not exactly having epic #adventures anymore but theyre coming into themselves etc. god. thats the stuff 2 me #i used to hate aged up aus as a teenager bc i thought it was the author/artists excuse to put kids in weird situations. and idk considering #it was 2015. yeah fair. but i do think i get it now. teenage years are hard and theres a certain part of that hardness that i love. things #like growing up [from a 17yo perspective] and people you love going to college and trying to find yourself and dealing w friends and fear #for the future. THOSE are the kind of teen stories i like reading about. but when you start getting tired and mellowing out and things that #come with the end of college and grad school and growing up [from a 22yos perspective] is similar. but its more somber. youre older now #when the protagonists become people. thats what i like #wizard au is fun as a huge intense magical adventure project but depressed college au is just like. where i can project.#drinking an entire pack of mikes hard lemonade by myself and lying on the floor talking to friends about how im scared and pushing myself #towards a career that i love but dont know i can achieve. friends leaving. getting an apartment for the first time. and the second and #the third. that feels better when i can sit down and go 'okay. someday isabel will do this too. i might not understand. my friends might not #understand. nobody could understand and i could be alone. but max woke up with a hangover today and i know what that feels like' etc #idk just feels better. taking your favorite characters with you while you go through things. by which i mean #'taking my favorite characters and making them go through things'#you want them to be safe and happy and having fun. i want them to feel fear. we both know what we want from fiction and treasure each #depressed college au

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