#ducky ratio is real

[veiled-luminosity]

what if i (veilliene vanorie) made the dr. ratio SU duck into a clay figurine.

(it's not a what if.)

i'm normal about him.

[raevenlywrites]

Kids listen up I'm gonna teach you about a sauce that makes almost any vegetable taste better and lets your feel fancy as fuck with little effort:

Fake. Hollandaise.

Real hollandaise is apparently very hard, subject to breaking, and leaves you with egg white floating around you have to figure out what to do with.

Fake hollandaise is literally just throwing an whole egg, a few tablespoons of lemon juice, and a half stick of butter in a pan and getting it warm til its sauce.

1) Whisk an egg with some* lemon juice**

*I recommend starting small (a "splash" or 1 TBS) cause you can always add more later but you can't take it back

**Also feel free to play with the lemon juice. Lime juice, orange juice, maybe even apple cider vinegar. The point here is flavor and acid.

2) Toss a 1/2 stick* of cold** butter in your pan over mid-low heat***

*The ratio is 1/4 cup of butter per egg. Adjust up or down as needed

**If you're worried about the sauce getting away from you, use FROZEN butter. If you're in a hurry and you trust yourself, you can use the butter you keep at room temp for toast. The temp of the butter just gives you some wiggle room

***When you're first starting out, low and slow. It takes much much longer, but it gives you a chance to actually watch the sauce thicken, learn what it looks like--and gives you the wiggle room to forget about it for a second and have it still be fine. I usually whack mine out now on full on medium heat, just lifting my pan off the stove if it gets too hot

3) Keep stirring* til all the butter melts and its as thick as you want

*The higher the heat, the more constantly you need to stir. If you go low and slow, you can afford to forget it for a few minutes at a time. But don't go too wild; it should never be so hot that you're not comfortable dipping a finger in to taste (and here's when you add more lemon juice if needed)

Troubleshooting

If it starts to form little chunks, take it off the heat and whisk it to death til its smooth again. This is the egg starting to scramble, your heat is too high. Make sure you scrape the bottom of your pot as you stir.

If it breaks (streaks of butter not worked into the sauce), take it off the heat and whisk it to death until its smooth again (noticing a trend here?).

If its too thin, turn the heat up a bit. Stay with it, stirring constantly--it will get thicker on you pretty quickly I promise.

If its too thick, add more lemon juice to taste, or more butter if you're happy with the taste

There ya go duckies. Fake hollandaise. Put it over fish, asparagus, broccoli, Eggs Benedict (poaching an egg isn't that hard either, I'll do a little write up on that if anyone's interested) to impress your friends and tastebuds

[themurphyzone]

104 Words for 104 Days: Writer

Candace says she wrote a fanfic of Thor and Hulk learning to ice skate in Mission Marvel. That is literally the only line I remember from that special XD. Sorry in advance for any inaccuracies. I don’t know anything about Avengers. They don’t appear in person here though. 

Candace groaned, her head smacking painfully against the keyboard as the construction noise outside drilled its way into her brain. As if she wasn’t having enough issues trying to decide on the type of cookies that Ducky Momo and the Incredible Hulk would bake in her fanfic.

Chocolate chip and sugar cookies were alright, but slightly basic. Spiderman had a peanut allergy. Nobody except Lawrence liked oatmeal and raisin.

“C’mon, Mom bakes cookies practically every day!” Candace muttered. “It shouldn’t be that hard to come up with something!”

A loud crash from outside told her that it would be extremely hard to come up with something.

Growling to herself, Candace jumped to her feet and yanked up her window. She spotted Phineas by the gate, waving glowsticks to guide the delivery men who were bringing in boxes of old sci-fi tech.  

“Hey, aren’t you a little young to have the money needed for space travel?” one of the delivery guys asked as Phineas signed his name on the form.

“Yes. Yes, he is,” his coworker sighed, accepting the paper from Phineas. “What did I tell you questioning things in this city, Tom?”

Tom gulped, tugging on his collar nervously. “Never question logic unless you want anthropomorphic animals to drag you into the ice cream truck and replace you with a robot.”

“Exactly. Now come on. We’ve got ten boxes of almond brittle, several pet carriers, and a yodeling kit to deliver to a Mr. Doofyshirt or something.”

“Good luck!” Phineas shouted as the delivery guys left the backyard. He turned to Ferb, who was hammering away at a rivet on the nose of a half-finished rocket. “Like I was saying before, we’ll stop by the Shooting Star Milkshake Bar first and see if any of the customers are willing to be extras-“

“PHINEAS!” Candace shouted, drawing his attention. “Just what are you up to at-“ she glanced at the analog clock numbly, trying to remember how to read it “-nine and the long hand pointing at the second mark between three and four?”

“Oh, we’re just making a Space Adventure on-location fan film production. With real aliens. And Buford’s directing,” Phineas pointed to the bully, who lounged in a director’s chair while ordering Baljeet to bring him random props.

“Buford? I thought he was a Finkie,” Candace said.  

“I AM,” Buford shouted through his megaphone. “AND THEN I EMOTIONALLY CONNECTED WITH THE CYGNIANS AND THEIR WARMONGERING CULTURE. BALJEET, BRING ME THE GLARFIAN BLASTER.”

Baljeet shrieked, covering his ears as the megaphone blasted in his face. “It’s the Glarfian disruptor! Disruptors and blasters are two completely different weapon classes!”

“They both shoot lasers! Does it really matter?”

“ARGH! Do you even realize what would happen if I took you to a Space Adventure trivia tournament and you claim that disruptors and blasters are the same thing? The other Speckies would force you to wear the Dodecahedron of Shame! That is not something I would wish on the worst bully!”

“What about Irving’s older brother?”

Baljeet scratched his head in thought. “Okay, maybe him. He deserves it.”

Candace coughed. “As much as I love listening to conversations where I only understand every other word, I’ve got a fanfic to write and I can’t do that while you’re doing something bustable!”

She shut the window before Phineas had a chance to respond.

The construction noise resumed as she returned to her laptop.

Where was she again? Shopping antics since Hulk couldn’t handle a bag of flour without ripping it, Ducky Momo mixing dry ingredients…right, she still couldn’t figure out the type of cookies they were baking.

She glanced out the window again. Her brothers were almost through with the preparations and would be taking off any second now.

Her phone was within reach, but she shook her head and went back to her screen, fingers poised over the keys.

No to white chocolate, macadamia, fudge, rocket…wait, that’s not a cookie!

Unable to resist the urge, she called Linda.

“Mom!” Candace yelled. “Phineas and Ferb are planning to shoot a fanmade film in space!”

There was some angry grumbling in the background. “Candace, while that sounds adorable, I’m in the middle of baking class and the chef doesn’t like phone calls interrupting his lecture. These notes on cinnamon to sugar ratios in snickerdoodle cookies aren’t going to write themselves-“

“Snickerdoodles! Mom, that’s it! Have I ever told you how much I love you?”

“Usually when you want something, but yes.”

Candace typed quickly, incorporating snickerdoodles where she could. And then she realized one crucial detail.

“They never bought cinnamon! How are they supposed to make snickerdoodles without cinnamon?”

She slammed her head against the keyboard. Back to square one, as always.

[top5internetsourcesforhighs-blog]

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