#dude is there 2 but im not fucking tagging it for that one tiny pic

[thedogslegart]

From my other sketchbook. Fuigering how things are supposed to look + other misc stuff.

[saint-patrice]

Tbh I would like to have the 34 *other* Bergy pics on your shortlist, complete with commentary lolol. And then (if you’re still waiting that is) any other Marchy pics with commentary? xD xD

oh my godddd you are my favourite person anon - ask and ye shall receive 😎 i should maybe warn that while this doesn’t have actual nsfw content you probably wouldn’t want to read this to your kids as a bedtime story. anyway, here we go: 

this was very close to making the original list. i like the soft lighting and the kind of floofy hair, yet he still looks like he could absolutely fuck me up (both like in a fight and various other ways). this photo gets me thinking some thoughts ™ if i am being honest

a literal saint and god amongst men right here. his brown eyes are so soft and his little smile puts me at ease. this is a man who would treat me right (fact). this photo is also from quite deep into the playoffs so the beard is going a little wild, and whilst i’m glad it isn’t like this all of the time, i very much appreciate it when it’s around.

O CAP’N MY CAP’N (sorry zee). nah for real this exudes some real sexy alternate energy. if i were on the opposing team and i saw this formidable man just skating around looking like that i think i’d just go back down the tunnel and hide in the locker room. this man will fucking kneecap you for the sake of a goal if that’s what it takes. and then i remember that it’s patrice and he’s the nicest man alive and he would literally never, but that’s still the energy this image has. and i ain’t saying i don’t like it.

okay this is just cute. they look like 2 dads who aren’t entirely sure how to take a selfie but are willing to try. the outfits lend this a slightly chaotic energy - i can’t commend zee’s colour combo if i’m honest, and when juxtaposed with the plaid shirt it kind of hurts my head. but it adds to the dad energy so i still love it. also this is from chara’s ig and the caption is super sweet.

DADS WITH THEIR KIDS ALWAYS GETS ME. i don’t even want kids, nor do i particularly like them, but seeing a man with his child is the cutest thing in the world and this, predictably, is no exception. patrice’s son 100% has his eyes which is really cute. speaking of patrice’s eyes, he may be smiling here but if you look into his eyes all you will see is fear - that child does not appear too bothered about remaining upright on the ice, and i suspect thay bergy is concerned about this. it would be criminal for me to not comment on the jeans. bergy has some exceptional thighs as these jeans do an excellent job of highlighting that.

this is Hot, and i’m not accepting criticism on that opinion. the crisp white shirt w no jacket or tie, and the top buttons undone???? i need a lie down. the hands are also making a nice appearance which i can always appreciate. basically what i’m saying is that i’m jealous of that snake this is an excellent photo and i owe the bruins instagram person a drink for posting it.

do you remember when i said bergy had marvellous thighs? well take a fucking sip babes - they’re like tree trunks carved out of carrara marble. if i have to die i want it to be because they crushed my skull. this is also one of the clearest photos i’ve seen of his tattoo, so it has that going for it too ( sidenote if anyone has an image with literally a pixel of his tattoo pls send it my way, i’m getting desperate at this point). i also think men in jewellery is a good look so i’m digging his beaded bracelets and silver chain. fantastic picture all round.

yeah okay there’s no escaping that the main reason this one made the list is 🍑. it’s exquisite. those pants also do a great job on the thighs too. the hair, socked feet (no i dont have a fetish i just think ppl in their socks with no shoes is kind of funny), and hands get an honourable mention

is this the only picture that has ever mattered? i’d believe it. patrice just lovingly gazing down at his son giving his hockey husband a handshake? you just can’t beat it. i have also been emotionally ruined by that tiny #37 jersey oh my

in the interest of being polite, i will describe this look as rugged. he has probably objectively looked better but i just like this photo and awful lot.

i don’t think i can give any commentary on this without saying something genuinely not suitable for public eyes. the 2 things i will say are: the only thing keeping me going completely feral horny looking at this is those pants,, if they were black or navy i’d be dead; and patrice i am begging you to do up a few more buttons on your shirt or remove it completely or i’m not going to live much longer.

oh man i just love this??? i can’t even explain why. the lack of much beard and the expression in his eyes just makes him look massively soft - i would give him a kiss on the nose and a cuddle in this photo

(gif via @gaudreau) i am slightly loathe to admit this bc it sounds weird but cuts and bruises can sometimes be a real look so this checks that box for me. his smile when he talks truly is one of the finer things in life too. also the lil shrug. i love you mr pikachu

a** fantastic **angle. this is just prime beautiful bergy.  excellent level of beard imo, the lighting shows off his v nice bone structure, and the nose is looking fab as always. weird observation of the day is that his neck looks nice in this

i mean obviously this had to go in - lord knows it’s fucking iconic. i have so many questions about how this situation came to be (aside from the fact that alcohol was involved. did brad initiate it? or patrice? why are they spinning? what the fuck? how the fuck? why was i not invited?) but anyway, this photo increased my thirst for a shirtless bergy photo at least two-hundredfold. at this point it’s a need not a want. i don’t think i can continue to comment on this without straying into nsfw territory so we’ll leave it at that. oh the things i would do

classic humble patrice making an appearance here, reminding us that he is not only the most handsome bastard to ever walk planet earth, but he’s a great guy too. just can’t hate him. and boy is he handsome in this gif. excellent stubble (im really invested in his facial hair if you hadn’t noticed), and the smile that could melt even my cold heart on display here. also bonus points for the previously mentioned thing about cuts/bruises. (sorry). i love this one 

in contrast to some of the prior ones, this picture is so cute that i can make nothing but pg comments about it. this is exactly the same face we all make when someone points a camera at us and says “cheese!” and i love that. the man looks good in white. good, wholesome content right here.

(gif via @weekendatbergysblog) okay the baby is cute but the fucking headband is what gets me in this. i’m able to make no further comment because this short circuits my brain.

(gif via @davidpastrnut)when i first saw this gif i had to go find the source video because i didn’t believe he actually said that but i’m here to tell you: he did. i love these hockey husbands so much. also i saw this tagged as “# hot waiter” one time and i still haven’t got over how accurate that is. someone more talented than me, i’m begging you for that fucking au 

(gif via @gaudreau) can patrice please stop looking up ??? it’s unfair that someone can look so good just looking in a direction what the fucK. he’s so stunning.

i love this one. brad pulling his hoodie down like that looks like he’s... soliciting and honestly who could blame him. bergy looks very cute, if a bit edgy in the all black. the hand is a treat in this one hooooooooooooooooo yes

this one show’s off patrice’s dark features very well. it’s amazing how he has such dark hair, dark eyes, big dark eyebrows, and dark facial hair, yet it doesn’t overcrowd or shadow his face ( except occasionally in awful lighting) ??? does anyone actually know how that works?? he’s looking very pensive here, and that hoodie looks oh-so-cosy. absolutely would cuddle.

**how cute is this y’all. **in case you thought you were just missing something, no, patrice is not sitting on a chair. he’s just maintaining that deep squat like a champ. maybe that’s the secret to his sublime thighs... the navy/deep red is an excellent look on him, and we get a rare glimpse of bergy with his wedding ring, which i find to be oddly cute. bonus points for him being beside a very cute kid too :)

(gif via @jakedebrask) this, i, ummmmm. i- uhh. just. um. yeah. so like. uhhhh... swiftly moving on

(gif via @davidpastrnut) this motherfucker and his handsome fucking face even looks good in that god-awful wooly patriots hat. honestly it looks like he’s about to go out and have a snowball fight (presumably with brad). decidedly rather domestic and i love it

(gif via @davidpastrnut) intense media patrice is intense. this is such a classic bergy face though, i love it. every time some media person asks him some big long question he puts on this exact very-invested-and-slightly-concerned face, its iconic. looking cosy in a hoodie once again. stop it. 

nice polo, dude

(gif via @davidpastrnut) that tshirt looks like its fighting for its life to contain those biceps. a dark, brooding patrice that has some sort of slow burn au stirring deep in my mind. from other angles in this interview the tattoo is fairly visible also.

this has such a strong energy it almost knocked me off my feet. again, i can see this being some sort of business or maybe criminal masterminds au. but fuck me, does that man looking something beautiful in a suit. the one hand in the pocket is quite frankly BDE too. i’m glad i’m not into dadkes or esle i think this whole picture would be too much for me.

he is literally the kind of man you’d want to bring home to your parents. i’m glad he seems to have cashed in on the navy/deep red combo because it really does suit him. he looks so fucking dapper here i may be very much in love

another excellent on-ice shot of him, albeit his slightly concerned expression. the beard is looking fucking crisp here hello sir. not much else to say on this, just a handsome, handsome boy.

(gif via @jeffsamardzija) another one that gives me Thoughts. he’s literally so beautiful. hair is cut a little shorter than usual on the sides and on anyone else it would scream fuckboy but i’m kind of digging it on bergy, at least on this one occasion. if i say anything else we’ll go down the rabbit hole

oof this is_ intense. _bergy aside, this is just an incredible shot tbh. rare that we get to see mr perfect not completely level-headed and playing it cool so it feels like a treat when we do. lowkey hot ngl

last but very certainly not least, mr patrice bergeron, four-time bergeron award winner, holding the award itself. this photo honestly just makes my heart swell a little with pride - it’s what he deserves!!!! just absolutely dapper in a beautiful suit as always, and a smile that could topple a nation to round it all off.

thank you so much for this anon!!! it was rather self-indulgent but i hope you like it :) also i will absolutely do another one with marchy, although my nails have been dry for about 2 hours now so i’ll probably do it tomorrow or friday, but it’s on its way :)

[relucant]

i was tagged by my beloved @majesticduxk​ for the self-rec/self-promo favorite fic meme! and if i’m not writing, i might as well whore for hits on what i have written, right?

1. Grammar Games (E, dean/cas)

"Hey, hey," Dean said, propping his feet up on a chair. "Dude, I don't even know your name."

Cas blinked up at him, and the tiny heat that the gravelly voice had sparked in Dean's stomach evolved into a full-on tingle.

"Oh, uh," he said. "Yeah. I'm Castiel. Cas, if you like."

"Cas," Dean drawled. "I do like." He stuck out his hand. Cas raised an eyebrow, but he reached out to shake. "I'm Dean Winchester."

"I'm aware," Cas said dryly. "You've something of a reputation."

"I'm aware," Dean agreed with a bright grin.

obviously i’m cheating right off the bat here lumping five stories into one, but i’m really proud of them. i feel like it’s a pretty clever idea, and nothing makes me happier than when i get a comment that the stories actually clarified some english grammar fuckery for them (or that they’ve reread them to study!) certainly the most difficult thing i’ve written, but also tons of fun.

2. Barbegazi (M, dean/cas)

"You speak French," Dean blurts stupidly, because of course Cas speaks French, and everything else, but --

Cas tilts his head. "Yes. I have every human tongue spoken since the dawn of time in my head." Cas says it matter-of-factly, but the reminder of the fathomless age and power simmering under the angel's skin sends shivers down Dean's spine. "You know, I've considered dropping a few hints about Linear A, but it never seemed --"

"Right," Dean interrupts, clearing his throat. "Right. I just, uh. Forgot. Go ahead."

because clearly writing grammar lessons couched in smut wasn’t the end of my incredibly nerdy porn. but i think this is probably my “prettiest” pornography, and the one i wish most had more hits. and it was really fun sifting through piles of poetry in languages i definitely don’t speak looking for destielish poetry (though honestly it’s all fucking destiel poetry if you’re deep enough in the dumpster)

3. Times Two (very E, dean/cas/jimmy)

[10:50] From: Charlie So did you find Mr. Sex Hair?

[10:51] To: Charlie actually yeah. and dude -- there's TWO of them

[10:51] From: Charlie … How drunk are you?

[10:52] To: Charlie im not!

[10:52] To: Charlie ok im lying, i am a little

[10:53] To: Charlie but srsly, they're twins. and ofc i accosted the wrong twin abt the pic

[10:55] From: Charlie Oh my God. Your life is a fanfic.

[10:56] From: Charlie So… Dean-sandwich on the menu then?

just because my fics are almost exclusively solely dean/cas, it was interesting (and hard) trying to figure out a way to work out a deancasjimmy dynamic that felt right. plus it’s always fun to write about weird hostel life.

4. On the House (E, dean/cas)

"In a past life," the guy at the end of the bar began, "I lived in Kansas. Was a hunter. Hunted things. Hunted things." He stared into his glass, swirling the liquid.

Castiel sighed inwardly. The morose drunks were always the hardest to gauge. Some wanted sympathy; some wanted to get angry; some wanted to be cheered up. Some just wanted to talk.

This guy wasn't sloppy-drunk, at least. Didn't seem particularly drunk at all, really, though in general hitting the whiskey at 6:30 on a Tuesday afternoon wasn't a good sign.

And anyway, Cas was perfectly willing to admit, if he had to play bartender-therapist, it's nice when his patron-patient's disgustingly attractive.

to be honest, i don’t think there’s anything particularly special about this story, but it was i think the first time (of not very many at all) that i actually finished a multi-chapter story that had something vaguely resembling a plot. plus i think i first connected with several wonderful people who i am now so happy to call my dear friends via this fic, so it’s close to my heart <3

5. Aesthetics in Autoerotica (EEEEEEE, dean/cas)

"What do you think about when you masturbate?"

"I sure don't think about callin' it masturbate," Dean retorted with a small laugh.

"I'm sorry. What do you think about when you jerk off?"

"Jesus, Cas, you talkin' dirty like that ain't gonna help me not come in these panties."

"Well, I intend for you to," Cas pointed out. "But not just yet. Now answer the question, please."

"Jesus," Dean said again, blush deepening. "I -- um. Jeez, I dunno. I mean, there's all kinds of crap in my spank bank. Some days, yeah, s'gettin' thrown against the wall by some hot dude in an alley. Other days, I dunno, it's triplets."

"What are you thinking about right now?"

Dean turned an incredulous look on him. "Uh, there's a hot photographer takin' pictures of my dick in pink panties right now, you think I need any more material?"

for just pure, unadulterated, utter pornography. and i think it was the first thing i wrote that got a little bit popular, which obviously for someone with zero confidence in their writing skills was nice. and is also highest on my list of fics i want to add to.

bonus #1: Angel-Mine for kinda sweet and pretty wing!kink

bonus #2: As the Romans Do which is and ever shall remain and a complete and total clusterfuck but it’s my baby, and the first piece of prose i ever really got into writing, and marked the tipping point into my slide down this strange and wonderful dumpster fire.

i really don’t know who to tag, or who has been tagged, but if you’re a fic writer, please please consider yourself tagged for a bit of feel-good self-promo, and please please please tag me if you do so i can see it and read!